Pinkie Pie and Applejack were killing time at Sugarcube Corner looking through each other’s family photo albums.
“Uh, Pinkie Pie, did you draw all over your pictures?” asked Applejack.
Pinkie’s parents, sisters and grandmother appeared to have had moustaches, missing teeth and devil horns inked on them. But Pinkie took one of the photographs out of its slot.
“Nope. Just the sleeves,” she answered.
Applejack chuckled when she saw that the photographs were still intact.
“There ain’t nothing you won’t do for a laugh, is there?” she grinned.
“Nope. You wanna borrow a marker?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Uh, no, I’d rather not draw on my…” Applejack started to say. “Well, maybe Aunt and Uncle Orange.”
“Your swanky aunt and uncle from Manehattan?”
“Yeah. I mean, they ain’t nasty or nothing, but they never come to our family reunions,” sighed Applejack. “They’re the only ones who missed out on our last big one.”
“But they did try to teach you how to be posh when you visited them that one time,” said Pinkie Pie.
Applejack grunted. “They were embarrassed by me. They thought I was too country. Anyway, you don’t mix well with hoity-toity ponies either.”
A monocle suddenly appeared on Pinkie Pie’s face.
“I’ve been practising,” she said to the surprised Applejack. “Octavia taught me how to play classical music on all my instruments, Beignet showed me how to make fancy-pants eats, and I studied up on tap dancing when your sister had the cutie pox. I’ll betcha if we get another invite to the Grand Galloping Gala, I’d fit right in.”
“Sorry, but I just can’t picture it,” said Applejack.
Pinkie Pie laughed. “I get it! Picture it! Ha!”
“Heh?”
“Cause we’re looking at pictures!” Pinkie Pie laughed so hard, her monocle fell off.
While Pinkie Pie laughed herself silly, Applejack started drawing wellington boots and Stetsons on the plastic sleeve covering her photograph of Aunt and Uncle Orange.
Pinkie Pie stopped laughing. “Hey, you shouldn’t draw on them because you don’t like them. That’s not why I drew on my mom and my dad and my sisters. After all, they were happy I lifted them out of the dumps. And they totally supported me when I said I wanted to go into party planning and cake making.”
“You know what my aunt and uncle said to me when I told them my favourite dessert is apple pop-overs?” asked Applejack. “They said how do you pop over an apple?”
Pinkie Pie laughed so loud, she woke the Cake twins from their afternoon nap.
“They just don’t understand ponies like me at all,” frowned Applejack after Pinkie Pie made several hasty apologies to Mrs Cake.
“That doesn’t make them any less family, does it?” asked Pinkie Pie.
Applejack didn’t know how to answer that.
“Well, does it? Does it? Huh? Huh? Huh?”
Weeks later, Applejack discovered that Pinkie Pie must have been right. Aunt and Uncle Orange had recommended Applejack to help cater a benefit concert in Manehattan. When she got the invitation in the mail, she told Pinkie Pie right away.
“I guess you were right,” she said. “My aunt and uncle do consider me family, no matter what our differences are.”
“What’s that?” asked Pinkie Pie, pointing to a black smudge on Applejack’s hoof.
“Oh, I rubbed the marker off their pictures after I got the invite,” replied Applejack.
Pinkie Pie smiled. “Nice to know you’re gonna get to spend more time with them.”
“Oh, I ain’t going.”
“WHAT?!”
“Well, I appreciate the thought and all,” said Applejack, “but this concert thingy’s a high class event. They wouldn’t want anything I make. And I hated acting for those upper-class folk when I was at that dinner party.”
“Hey, acting’s fun!” insisted Pinkie Pie. “You just didn’t like it because you thought you’d have to do it your whole life. Give it a try, huh? I’m sure you’ll like it better this time.”
Applejack had a thought. “Do the Cakes need you to babysit at all this weekend?”
“Nope. Why?”
“I’d sure appreciate if you’d come to Manehattan with me,” said Applejack. “I ain’t prepared for this, but I know you are.”
Pinkie Pie didn’t even stop to think. She just spat out a dance mat and told Applejack to get her fancy on.
Thursday night in Manehattan was alive with ponies out and about working and playing indoors and outdoors. Pinkie Pie and Applejack were ready for their three day stay as they got off the train with their luggage and made their way to the theater. When they arrived, the owner was waiting for them at the entrance.
“Are you Applejack and Pinkie Pie?” she asked.
“Yep,” replied the Ponyvillians.
“I’m Star Biller. Nice to meet you,” the owner shook their hooves. “There’s a performance starting soon, so we gotta go in through the back. I’ll give you a tour of backstage. Does that sound cool?”
“Um, sure that’d be just fine and dandy,” replied Applejack.
Pinkie Pie nodded in agreement.
“And don’t talk loudly,” Star Biller added as she led them towards the back. “Keep your voices down while the shows on, K?”
“Okey-dokey-lokey,” responded Pinkie Pie in a hushed voice.
“She doesn’t seem so fancy-like,” Applejack whispered to Pinkie Pie.
“Who knows? Maybe she’s putting it on,” Pinkie Pie whispered back. “Maybe we don’t have to act classy the whole time we’re here.”
Despite Star Biller telling them that everything backstage had to be quiet, the first thing they heard when they entered the theater was a loud bang.
“What was that?!” hissed Star Biller, and she darted down the hall, Applejack and Pinkie Pie right behind her leaving their luggage behind.
“Land stakes,” said Applejack. “That’s that ventriloquist fella, Puppeteer.”
“Star Biller,” groaned the famous entertainer, “I lost my locker combo! I wrote it on a piece of paper! Please, help me find it!”
“Keep your voice down.” Star Biller looked horrified. “You can’t get your dummy out? The show should have started by now. What are we gonna do?”
Pinkie Pie’s face lit up. “We can stall the audience.”
“You can? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Come on, Puppeteer. Let’s find that combo.”
“You ready, Applejack?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“You bet,” replied Applejack with a confident grin.
The audience did not expect a vent act to open with a tap number at all, but they enjoyed Pinkie Pie and Applejack’s performance tremendously. Applejack was really glad Pinkie Pie had taught her how to tap dance. She really did find it fun, especially because they didn’t have to keep it up for more than five minutes.
“Pinkie Pie and Applejack, mares and stallions!” boomed Puppeteer’s voice as he emerged from behind the curtain, his wooden doll on his hoof.
The audience erupted with applause as Pinkie Pie and Applejack left the stage and returned to the back.
“I can’t thank you enough,” said Star Biller, as the sound of Puppeteer’s act came from the stage. “I usually have a backup plan in case there’s a delay, but I didn’t have one this time. Those posh ponies would have had my tail on a platter if you two hadn’t been here.”
Applejack couldn’t help but ask. “You ain’t a fancy gal, are ya?”
“Not really,” replied Star Biller. “I sure can fake it though. You wanna know how I ended up here?”
“Sure,” answered Pinkie Pie.
“Well, I was in a junior theater group in Trottingham, and we were given an opportunity to perform in this very theater,” said Star Biller. “Unfortunately, the tickets we sold had a misprint. Everypony showed up an hour early and we weren’t ready to start. And you don’t want to make a posh audience angry.”
Applejack shuddered, but Pinkie Pie was unphased.
“I volunteered to start the show while the rest of my group literally got their acts together,” Star Biller continued. “But my monologue was only ten minutes long, and that wasn’t enough. So I had to improvise the next twenty minutes.”
“Twenty minutes!” cried Pinkie Pie.
“Shh!” hissed Star Biller and Applejack.
Luckily, Puppeteer wasn’t disturbed.
“You know what really made my performance work in the end?” asked Star Biller. “As I walked off the stage, my cutie mark appeared.”
“Is that a skull?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yep. It means I have what it takes to make it in the cut-throat world of performing arts,” smiled Star Biller proudly. “I run this theater now, and whenever a show is delayed for whatever reason, I have to warm up the audience. It’s really cool to know that you two are just as brave as I am. If the show gets delayed on Saturday night, I’ll know who to turn to.”
Pinkie Pie glowed, but Applejack just nodded. Star Biller didn’t exactly have a no pressure approach.
It wasn’t very likely that Applejack and Pinkie Pie would have to go on that stage ever again though. Everyone performing at the benefit concert was already in town and they would be spending the whole of Saturday at the theater. Any difficulties could easily be sorted about by curtain time.
Applejack’s aunt and uncle had rented a room at the bakery for her and Pinkie Pie, so they would be spending their Friday there making practise snacks.
“You brought the jam right?” asked Pinkie Pie after preheating the oven.
“Sure did,” replied Applejack, pulling three jars of zap apple jam out her bag. “So what’s this fancy food you’ve been talking about?”
“It’s a kind of cake,” said Pinkie Pie, setting up a bowl.
“What kind? Chocolate? Strawberry?”
“Nope. Just plain cake,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “Watch.”
She measured the flour, the butter and the sugar, counted out the eggs, and mixed them in her bowl. Applejack was expecting her to add some sort of flavoured powder to the mix, but she didn’t. She just poured the mixture into two loaf tins and threw them in the oven.
“You ain’t got no lemons or raspberries or nothing to put in there?” asked Applejack.
“Don’t need any,” said Pinkie Pie. “You’ve got the jam, and I’ve got the buttercream.”
She pulled a yellow bottle out of her own bag.
“You’re a bit late, ain’t ya?” asked Applejack.
“You know how the kind of cake we’re used to has icing on it? We’re gonna ice these cakes with jam and buttercream.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “So basically, we’re making jam and buttercream sandwiches.”
“Yeah, I guess they are like that,” Pinkie Pie giggled.
It took all morning for Applejack to get used to these unusual baking methods, but when she did, she and Pinkie Pie got a little carried away in their practise baking. Aunt and Uncle Orange dropped in for a visit late that afternoon and they were astonished at how many cakes, tarts and trifles their niece and her friend had produced.
“Goodness me!” exclaimed Aunt Orange. “If Star Biller wasn’t providing your baking supplies for tomorrow, you could just feed the audience with these.”
“Mind you,” put in Uncle Orange, “I’m not certain they’d approve of this sort of jam.”
He examined one of the cakes with the zap apple jam and buttercream filling.
“Folks around here prefer strawberry or apricot jam in their cakes,” he finished.
“Not to worry, Mr and Mrs Orange,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “Star Biller’s got us covered.”
“Thank you both for recommending me,” said Applejack. “I’m really enjoying myself.”
“Wonderful to hear,” beamed Aunt Orange. “It looks like you haven’t forgotten what we taught you all those years ago.”
“We heard you two impressed a lot of punters yesterday evening,” said Uncle Orange.
“Well, that was mainly thanks to Pinkie Pie here,” said Applejack.
Pinkie Pie had chosen that moment to lick the tables clean.
Applejack chatted with her aunt and uncle for a little while longer while Pinkie Pie tossed all their used bowls and tins in the sink and shoved all their baked goods into a bag. Aunt Orange spotted her finding a butter tart on the floor and eating it. While Applejack and Uncle Orange were talking, she walked up to Pinkie Pie.
“You’re a member of Ponyville’s Royal Taskforce too, right?” she asked.
“Yep,” smiled Pinkie Pie.
“Oh.”
Aunt Orange said no more to Pinkie. She just went back to re-join the conversation with her niece. Then an unpleasant thought floated into Pinkie Pie’s head.
What if the Oranges only recommended Applejack for this benefit concert because she’s connected to royalty? she wondered.
Considering that Applejack had finally gotten into the spirit of class and sophistication, she thought it would be best not to say. After all, she didn’t know for sure. But her suspicions weren’t helped by the odd looks the Oranges gave her as they left the room. Applejack hadn’t noticed. She was in high spirits about the upcoming classy event.
“I’m awful glad you talked me into this, Pinkie Pie,” she said. “I never thought I could have fun with a bunch of fancy-shmancy city folk. There ain’t no doubt about it. You are the master of fun.”
“I told ya,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “It’s fun to keep up appearances sometimes.”
Having said that, she knew there was no need to voice her suspicions of the Oranges’ intentions. There was no reason either of them had to drop their classy demeanours before they left Manehattan, so why spoil Applejack’s good mood?
Author's Note
This is the first one I deliberately tried to come up with, and for some reason, the idea of a benefit concert came to me.
The next morning went just as well as yesterday. The dressing rooms and green rooms at the theater were buzzing with singers, dancers and musicians, and Applejack and Pinkie Pie got to mingle with them while they worked on their catering duties. Applejack found it a tiny bit disappointing that they had to use the jam Star Biller provided and not the zap apple jam she’d brought from home, but the artists they talked to were very friendly and polite. Some of them even asked to sample some of their baking.
“Two each. How’s that sound?” said Pinkie Pie.
There were no complaints. It seemed like every single performer had tried one or two of their snacks. With an audience of thousands to feed, they didn’t stop making cakes, tarts and trifles until an hour and a half before the concert was to begin.
The reason they stopped was because Star Biller came bursting into the kitchen shouting hysterically.
“They’re all sick!”
“What? Who?”
“Everypony!” cried Star Biller. “Everyone who’s supposed to perform tonight!”
Applejack and Pinkie Pie both gasped.
“I need your help to look after them while I get the paramedics!” Star Biller urged.
“We’re on it,” said Applejack and she and Pinkie Pie darted off to tend to the unwell artists.
Applejack managed to find the linen closet and supplied all the patients with blankets. Pinkie Pie did what she did best to relieve their suffering; made them laugh. And she did it in her usual way as well. The way that left ponies trying to figure out what the flying feather they just saw. But the performers were in such a state, that they didn’t mind how weird Pinkie Pie’s sense of humour really was. But they steadily got worse. So much so, that Applejack advised Pinkie Pie to kill the comedy because it looked like laughing was causing them a lot of pain by now. Soon, the paramedics arrived to examine them all. By the time they’d come up with a diagnosis, the audience was starting to pour into their seats.
“They’ve all got food poisoning,” declared the matron.
Pinkie Pie swiftly ran to the kitchen and threw all their freshly baked goods into the trash. Applejack and Star Biller looked around searching for what might have caused all that sickness.
“Oh, I don’t believe it!” exclaimed Star Biller. “It’s the jam! It expired weeks ago!”
“Dang!” groaned Applejack. “The one ingredient I could’ve brought myself.”
Pinkie Pie began drop-kicking the jars of spoiled jam into the trash can.
Star Biller looked like someone had crammed a wad of ice cubes into her mane.
“The show’s over! Everypony who’s supposed to go on is sick!” she cried.
“You said you had something prepared to hold the audience,” said Pinkie Pie.
“It won’t last the whole night!” shrieked Star Biller.
“What about Puppeteer?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Couldn’t we ask…?”
“He left town last night!” Star Biller had shut her eyes so tight, her eye lids seemed to vanish under her eyebrows.
“No need to fret, sunshine,” said Applejack confidently. “Pinkie Pie here can play ten instruments at once. She can give ‘em a show.”
Pinkie Pie nodded, but Star Biller shook her head.
“The instruments are all locked away,” she said, not opening her eyes.
Pinkie Pie and Applejack left the kitchen while Star Biller continued to panic.
“If you’re OK with us using your instruments to entertain the audience, raise your hooves,” said Pinkie Pie as she and Applejack passed by the sea of sick artists.
It looked like none of them were opposed, so the two earth ponies raced to the lockers to try their luck at the combinations. Luck appeared to be on their side because when they both chose a door and pressed a four digit code at random, both lockers swung open.
“We rock!” smiled Pinkie Pie.
Star Biller had calmed down long enough to remember the tap number her new friends had performed two nights ago. She walked out of the kitchen and was just passing the doctors and patients when they all heard two loud banging noises; the same one that came down the hall on Thursday night.
“Ow!” came Pinkie’s and Applejack’s voices together.
Star Biller’s horror came back. She sprinted to the lockers and found the two royal taskforce members rubbing their right front hooves, which were bruising terribly.
“You tried to get into those lockers?!” she cried. “Without the right combos?!”
“We couldn’t have asked them for the combos,” winced Applejack. “They ain’t fit to be talking.”
“Why did they slam on us?” groaned Pinkie Pie.
“It’s security,” moaned Star Biller. “If you punch in the wrong numbers, they open up and then slam on your hooves when you reach inside the lockers. How bad are your hooves?”
Pinkie Pie and Applejack quickly found that they couldn’t even stand on them. A tap dancing routine was definitely out of the question.
Now Star Biller was having a complete mental collapse worse than Twilight after misplacing her red ink.
“Calm down, Star Biller,” Pinkie Pie said, lying the shuddering pony down on the floor. “We’ll just have to call off the concert.”
Star Biller grabbed the tip of Pinkie’s mane and yanked her head down to her level.
“What did I tell you?! Don’t tick off a posh audience!”
“I’ve done it before,” insisted Pinkie Pie, remembering the impression she made on the guests at the Grand Galloping Gala. “I can take it.”
“Whoa there, honey,” said Applejack. “Why don’t y’all let me break it to ‘em?”
“No way!” said Pinkie Pie, standing up now that Star Biller had let go of her mane. “I can’t let you take the hit.”
“Do I wield the Element of Honesty or don’t I?” asked Applejack.
“What about your aunt and uncle? They’ll be humiliated,” Pinkie Pie frowned.
“They won’t be too sore,” Applejack said. “They sure as heck won’t start shunning me.”
Pinkie Pie couldn’t help it. “Mrs Orange asked me if I’m really a member of Ponyville’s Royal Taskforce like you. I think they only wanted you here because you’re close friends with a princess.”
For over a minute, Applejack looked down at her hooves, one of which was blacker than it had been when she’d rubbed the marker off her aunt and uncle’s photograph. Then she looked at Pinkie Pie, who had a very upset look on her face.
“You don’t like making ponies frown, do you?” asked Applejack.
“It goes against everything I believe in,” nodded Pinkie Pie.
“So you ain’t gonna like making thousands of ponies unhappy,” Applejack insisted. “Leave it to me, sugar cube.”
Pinkie Pie walked aside, and Applejack stepped over the trembling Star Biller and limped towards the stage. But suddenly, Pinkie Pie realised something.
“Wait, Applejack!” she called.
Applejack stopped and Pinkie Pie knelt down to Star Biller.
“Hey! Star Biller!”
Star Biller’s eyes crept open.
“Yeah?” she asked in what was almost a sob.
“What is this benefit concert actually for?”
Applejack chuckled a bit. The whole time she and Pinkie Pie had been there, neither of them actually knew what the theater was raising money for.”
“Um, eye infections,” answered Star Biller.
“Eye infections?” repeated Pinkie Pie, smiling a bit.
“Yeah. Like conjunctivitis and stys and keratitis and stuff,” Star Biller finished.
Pinkie Pie’s expression brightened even more. She ran over to Applejack as fast as her injured hoof would let her.
“I have an idea,” she said. “Let me tell the audience.”
“Well, why don’t you tell me your idea and let me tell em?” asked Applejack.
“You can’t tell them now, Applejack.”
“Why not?”
“Like you said, your element is Honesty.”
It was twenty-three minutes to show time and all the seats in the theater were full of high class ponies chattering away in anticipation. Very few of them noticed Pinkie Pie limp onto the stage and step behind the mic. Pinkie Pie looked around. There were well over a thousand ponies in the audience. She put on a serious look and tapped the microphone.
“Attention, everypony,” she said.
The chatter stopped and all eyes fell on Pinkie Pie.
“I’m afraid I have bad news,” she continued. “Unfortunately, all of the artists who were going to perform tonight are sick.”
There was a murmur in the crowd.
“Yes, I’m sorry to say that they all have infections in their eyes,” Pinkie Pie said.
Backstage, Applejack was listening and she had no idea what Pinkie Pie was trying to do. That was until a tumult of laughter gushed from the posh audience.
“Is she trying to…?”
Applejack peered through the curtain stage left and looked from the howling audience to Pinkie Pie, who was looking around in the air as if expecting to spot a bird that flew in through an open window. She did spot something. Something blue.
“She is,” gasped Applejack.
Pinkie Pie had never made this many ponies laugh at one time before. She had a feeling, going by the feats her friends had performed with their own elements of harmony, that she could make her Element of Laughter come to her in their time of need, and it did. It appeared above the audience, latched onto Pinkie’s neck, and glowed brighter than any spotlight in the theater. The blue light seemed to flood into the backstage area. Applejack looked behind her and saw the locker doors burst open and all the instruments fly out into the hallway. And that wasn’t all. All of the sick performers were suddenly feeling better and better with every passing second. Applejack and the very surprised paramedics watched until the light faded. There was much grunting and stretching among the artists.
“How are you feeling now?” asked the matron.
Sapphire Shores bolted up. “SEN-SA-TION-ALLLL!”
There wasn’t an unhealthy pony in the house. Applejack ran back to the curtain, discovering along the way that Pinkie’s element had even cured their injured hooves. The audience was buzzing with confused curiosity. Pinkie Pie, her Element of Laughter no longer glowing, began to walk offstage, but Applejack stopped her.
“Did it work?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yep. You did it,” beamed Applejack.
The benefit concert was able to go ahead as planned. There were no disappointed or outraged ponies, and the performers and high society ponies all had a wonderful time. Before the interval, Pinkie Pie and Applejack had gone to their room and emptied the ice box of all the practise snacks they’d made the previous day.
“I hate to complain about your great idea,” said Applejack as they collected their cakes, tarts and trifles, “but it kinda bugs me that they all laughed at a buncha sick ponies.”
“Yeah, me too,” admitted Pinkie Pie. “But irony is one of the best ways to get ponies like that to laugh.”
The two of them had their snack tables ready in good time for the interval. And who should be first in line but Aunt and Uncle Orange? They congratulated Pinkie Pie on solving their big problem, and they told Applejack that they were happy that they were able to serve their cakes with zap apple jam in them.
“I guess I was wrong about those two,” smiled Pinkie Pie after the Oranges had left the snack table.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Applejack. “I can’t expect y’all to know everything about classy ponies.”
During the interval and after the concert, Applejack and Pinkie Pie shook hooves with more esteemed ponies than they had done when they were given their royal appointments. The concert had definitely been a success.
“Hey, did anyone snap Star Biller out of her pressure attack?” asked Pinkie Pie when midnight approached.
Author's Note
I still don't know if the one with the red hat and the skull has been given a name. But I didn't want to completely make up a character for this one because I knew there was definitely going to be one in my next one.
