“This is all your fault, Sonata!”
“Nuh-uh, Aria! It’s totes your fault!”
The elevator’s whirring gears provided a backdrop to the two arguing sirens as Adagio leaned against the wall, hugging herself and shivering. After languishing on Earth for over a thousand years, the magic percolating inside her finally frothed over at the Battle of the Bands. After centuries, it was then she realized her sense of purpose: all that mattered in all the annals of history was that moment alone... the moment they seized the hearts and minds of the entire student body.
But all of that had been stolen from them by those girls, those... infants. In her arcane intoxication, she had dared to challenge the magic of friendship; in her bid to pierce the heavens, she had been smacked down to earth by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, serving up the the bitter draught of defeat for her and her companions to taste.
The elevator came to a stop, the doors opening. Adagio slowly walked past her comrades, still embroiled in blaming the other for the night’s events. She bit her lip as she knew who was truly to blame, disappointed to hear the soft footfalls of Aria and Sonata behind her as they reached their room.
They’d follow me to Tartarus, she thought as she reached into her boot for the room key.
Even though I’ve already damned us all.
Sighing, she slid the room key into the slot and heard the soft click of the door unlocking. Adagio turned the handle and leaned into the door, displaying the lavish hotel room before them. She dragged herself inside, threw herself onto the loveseat, and stared at the blank television screen. Aria and Sonata followed, sitting at opposite ends of the other couch and shooting each other death glares.
“You know it’s your fault,” Aria said.
“No way is this my fault,” Sonata objected. “You were trying to belt out over us!”
Aria grit her teeth. “I was just following Adagio’s lead.”
“No, you were trying to steal the show!” Sonata said as she crossed her legs. "You know, just like your name.”
“What?” Aria said as she got up and headed towards the minibar. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”
“Well, well… I know it was you, somehow!”
“You were using your chest voice when you were supposed to use your head voice,” Aria said as she surveyed the contents of the minibar.
“That was my head voice!” Sonata said, breathing heavily. “I’ll show you right now!”
Sonata opened her mouth to sing, releasing a sound that reminded Adagio of two wildcats in heat as all three sirens visibly cringed. Sonata quickly covered her mouth with her hands and giggled sheepishly. “Sorry, forgot.”
Aria groaned as she pulled out six tiny bottles of liquor from the mini bar and closed it with her heel. “You’re the worst,” she said, throwing two bottles of vodka to Adagio, who let them fall into her lap.
“No, you’re the—oh, thanks, Aria!” Sonata said as she caught the two bottles of gin Aria chucked at her.
“I was aiming for your head,” Aria said as she reclaimed her seat, eliciting a dirty glare from Sonata. Aria stared at the two bottles she held. “And it looks like whiskey for me,” she continued, unscrewing the top of one of the bottles as Sonata unscrewed the top of one of hers. “Bottoms u—Adagio, aren’t you going to join us?”
Adagio stared blankly at the television, blinking.
“Adagio!”
“Wha?” Adagio said as she turned her head to Aria, noticing finally what she and Sonata were holding.
“Aren’t you going to join us?”
Adagio stared at the bottles in her lap, picking one up and unscrewing the top. “Sure, why not?”
Aria smiled. “That’s better. Now, bottoms up!”
The three sirens quickly downed their drinks, Adagio’s throat protesting as she swallowed the cheap liquor, the burning sensation sliding down her esophagus and into her stomach. Adagio examined the bottle, then threw it to the side and picked up the second bottle and unscrewed it, the other two sirens quickly following. The three of them finished off the second bottle, then relaxed back onto the couches.
They sat there in silence, which gave Adagio time to think again.
What could I have done differently? I thought I had covered all the bases. Create dissent, acquire Equestrian magic. It was so simple. What did I miss that led to my incredible failure?
She looked over at Aria and Sonata.
More importantly, how am I going to make it up to them?
“My tummy feels funny,” Sonata said.
Aria sat up, leaned over her lap, and buried her face in her hands. “That’s because we just drank.”
“No, it’s a different kind of funny.”
“What kind of funny?”
“Like when we were low on negative energy, but in my tummy.”
Aria lifted her head out of her palms and raised an eyebrow at Sonata. “Sonata, I think what you’re describing is hunger.” She grunted as she grabbed the menu and threw it to Sonata. “We must have converted to humans as a side effect of losing our amulets. Order what you want.” Aria then looked at Adagio. “If that’s all right with you.”
Adagio waved a hand. “Go ahead.”
Aria nodded, then faced Sonata. “You hear that? Go wild.”
Sonata squealed as she examined the menu, Adagio returning to staring at the blank screen.
So we’re really becoming human… that means we’ll eventually…
It hit her like a flash of lightning. She knew how she’d make it up to them.
She placed her hand on the arm of the loveseat and stood up. “Excuse me, girls, but I’m going to lie down for a bit.”
“Go ahead. You probably need it,” Aria said.
Sonata offered the menu to Adagio. “Do you want anything?”
Adagio held out a hand and smiled. “No, that’s all right. I’ll eat in the morning before we check out.”
“Okay!” Sonata said as she looked over the menu.
Adagio entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her, leaning against it and exhaling deeply. She then walked over to the closet, opened it, and pulled out her travel bag. Out of it she procured a packet of paper and looked it over, smiling. She placed it on top of the safe and punched in the code; she had changed it upon checking in to the same code she used on every hotel safe—the year that they had been sent to this accursed world by Star Swirl’s spell. The safe unlocked with a whirr, and she opened it to reveal the contents inside.
Inside lay a titanium Desert Griffon with gold plating, a seven round magazine sitting next to it. She had purchased this particular model because it complimented her hair color.
Also as insurance should this day ever come, she thought to herself with a wan smile as she grabbed the gun and the magazine. I needed a back-up plan should I ever fail so spectacularly, she continued inside her mind as she loaded the magazine inside of the pistol with a click. And this failure was truly spectacular—perched upon the precipice of perfection only to be denied by her own hubris. I can’t live with the shame of costing them their sirenhood.
She chambered a bullet, opened her mouth, placed the barrel inside of it, and positioned the safety into the off position.
Now it’s time to finish you, she mused as she squeezed the trigger.
“...Dagi. Dagi. Dagi. Dagi!”
Adagio snapped awake and looked to see Sonata staring at her, kneeling on the bed that she was apparently splayed upon. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but found that she couldn’t due to the incredible pain emanating from her mouth—it felt like the back of her throat had been hit by a freight train.
And she knew what being hit by a freight train felt like.
She looked away from Sonata. Damn you, Star Swirl. You couldn’t even let me have the peace of death, could you?
“So, Dagi, did you get it?”
Adagio turned her head to look at Sonata and raised an eyebrow.
“The ghost, Dagi. Did you get the ghost?”
“Sonata, there’s no such thing as ghosts,” Aria said as she examined the room. “Ask her what she was shooting at.”
Sonata faced Aria and growled. “She was obviously shooting at a ghost! That’s why we didn’t see anything when we came in!”
“Ugh, that might actually explain where the bullet went,” Aria said as she knelt down. “Well, I’ve managed to find the casing.” She stood back up and secured it in one of her hair-ties.
Adagio dragged her body into a seated position, her mouth throbbing in intense agony. She regained mobility in her tongue and felt a compressed fifty caliber bullet resting on it. She pressed her eyes shut, not being able to face her partners in crime after failing once again.
I can’t even succeed at suicide. I truly am a failure.
“What’s this?” Aria asked as Adagio heard the shuffling of papers. “Let’s see… Last Will and Testament of Adagio Dazzle… Adagio, what the hell were you doing?”
Adagio heard Sonata giggle. “She was just going over her will! What’s the big deal about that?”
“Damnit, Sonata… her will was on the safe, she’d discharged her gun, and we found her spread out on the bed! Don’t you see anything fishy with that?”
“What? She was obviously going over her will, then a ghost attacked so she pulled out the gun from the safe and shot it at the same time that it punched her!”
“Sonata, you’re an idiot. Adagio!”
Adagio looked away with her eyes shut. Please no…
“Adagio! Look at me.”
Adagio held her position.
“Adagio, where’s the bullet?”
Well, the gig’s up, Adagio thought as she opened her eyes and turned to face Aria, brow furrowed and arms crossed. She blinked, tears forming in her eyes as she bent her head down and spat the bullet out of her mouth into her hand, the spent ammunition resembling a half-dollar coin.
Aria’s eyes popped open as she let her arms fall to her sides and balled her hands up into fists. Adagio could see the muscles in Aria’s jaw flex as she clenched it. Sonata looked at Aria and quickly got off of the bed.
“You–you–you–you didn’t—actually try to,” Aria managed to work out as she visibly shook. “You–heard–that–we–were–human–and–you—”
“It’s not what it looks like,” Adagio said, her mouth finally working as tears streamed down her face.
“Shut your fucking mouth!” Aria roared. “You just tried to kill yourself! How selfish can you get!”
“It’s not like that… really…”
“Then what is it like?”
Adagio sniffed, tears dripping off of her chin onto her lap. “Well, the truth of the matter is… I failed you. I promised you unlimited power, and instead you now have less than ever before.” Adagio sniffled again. “And since I take care of the finances, I figured that now that we’re human... I could atone for my transgressions and leave you with the money, Aria. I’m better off to you dead than I am alive.”
Adagio snorted. “Look where me being alive got us. I lost your powers and—”
She was cut off by a swift slap to the face from Aria, Adagio’s cheek stinging from the sudden blow.
“You shut your goddamned mouth. You didn’t lose our powers. We all lost our powers. Together.”
“But you were following my lead—”
“Shut up, Adagio. It was a perfect plan with the information that we had. Things just happened that were beyond our control that made it go south.”
“But I should have—”
“What? You should have what? Predicted the future?” Aria asked as she looked into Adagio’s eyes.
Their gazes locked for a few seconds, then Adagio exhaled a tense breath. “I guess. I still feel like I should have seen it coming.”
Aria picked up the gun and pushed the safety into the ‘safe’ position. “Well, you can’t see everything coming,” she said as she unloaded the magazine from the gun and put both the gun and the magazine into the safe, slamming it shut. She then walked over to Adagio and bent over.
“And you know that stuff about being better off to us dead than alive? That’s horseshit.” Aria placed a hand on Adagio’s shoulder. “You’re more to us than just a number or a means to an end.”
Adagio bent her head down. “Then what good am I to you if I can’t provide for you girls?”
“Really?” Aria asked as her eyes watered. “You’re…” she started before she bit her lip and turned her head away.
“You’re our friend, Dagi,” Sonata said, emerging from her long silence. “We never thought of you as just a way to get stuff. We like being around you.”
Aria faced Adagio again and nodded. “Yeah, that.”
Adagio then did something she thought she’d never do again: she smiled. “Thanks, you two. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“Yay!” Sonata said as she wrapped both of them in a tight hug. “Now we can be best friends when we attend after-school clubs and join sports teams and go to prom—”
“—wait a tick,” Adagio said. “You want to go back to school? After the fracas we caused?”
“Why not? Sunset Shimmer did it.”
“She also wasn’t accepted until she stood up to a threat greater than her own,” Adagio added.
“Yeah,” Aria said, “who’s more threatening than we were in this world?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure something out. We always do,” Sonata said.
Adagio pursed her lips. “Hmmm. I suppose. It’s not like we’re exactly wanting for funds right now.” She had to admit, Sonata’s bubbly candor was rather infectious.
“Yay! Back to school!” Sonata said as she wrapped the two in an even tighter bear hug.
“Can’t… breathe…”
“Shut up. We don’t need to breathe.”
“I’m… pretty sure we can still perish from... asphyxiation.”
Sonata loosened her grip. “Oh. Sorry.”
“That’s all right,” Adagio said as she leaned her head onto Sonata’s shoulder. “You’re just excited.”
They heard a knock from outside. “Room service!”
Sonata disengaged the hug and look at Adagio. “I ordered shrimp nachos in case you wanted some! You wanna join us?”
Adagio stood up and nodded. “I am feeling a bit peckish. Eating a bullet didn’t really satisfy my hunger.”
Sonata whooped, hugged Adagio, then bolted out of the room, leaving Adagio and Aria standing alone in the room.
“You realize what this means, right?” Aria asked.
Adagio hummed. “That our penance wasn’t solely being sent to this accursed dimension.”
“As long as you’re aware of that,” Aria said as she walked out of the room.
Adagio sighed and opened the safe, pulling out the gun. She unchambered the round, put both the bullet and the gun back into the safe, and shut it.
Still doesn’t mean you don’t practice proper firearm safety, she thought while exiting the room.
Author's Note
The Dazzlings Will Return
