Chapters “The strangest fruit known to ponykind is the zap apple. Not because of its multihued skin, but for its king. Yes. The zap apples have a king called the Zap-O-Lantern. It acts as a guardian for its smaller fellows, which is why no zap apple has ever been eaten. If anypony ever eats a ripe zap apple, the zap-o-lantern will hunt them down and eat them !”
Apple Bloom ran from the room in fright.
“Didn’t I tell you it was just a horror story made up by local pumpkin farmers who were scared of anything that came outta the Everfree Forest?!” Granny Smith called after her.
Big McIntosh shook his head. “Nnnnope.”
Granny Smith faltered. At that moment, she heard the timber wolves howling for the second time that night and decided to go back out with her pots and pans.
The next morning, Applejack and Big Mac were in the zap apple fields setting up baskets next to the naked dark-purple trees. Applejack’s path took her along a wooden fence that separated the zap apple field from the jersey mac trees. An old composter sat at the end of a fence.
“Huh. How long has that been there?” Applejack asked to no one in particular.
The lid popped off the composter. Pinkie Pie’s head emerged.
“Long enough to smell worse than a timber wolf’s breath.”
“Oh. Howdy Pinkie,” said Applejack as Pinkie climbed out of the composter.
“And speaking of timber wolves, I heard Granny Smith banging on pots last night,” Pinkie Pie was dancing on the spot. “Is it zap apple season again?”
“Sure is,” smiled Applejack.
“Super!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “So, is there anything I, as your fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, can do to help out ?”
Applejack sniffed. “I guess you could get rid of that old composter.”
“Okey-dokey-lokey.”
Pinkie Pie found the composter much heavier than it looked.
“We could swap if ya like,” Applejack offered. “These baskets ain’t too heavy.”
“They’re not? The look heavy,” said Pinkie.
“Hm. I guess some things are heavier or lighter than they look,” Applejack shrugged.
Pinkie Pie spotted Rainbow Dash up in the sky moving some clouds around. An idea for a prank occurred. She told Applejack that she could handle the heavy composter and began carrying it out of the zap apple field.
She finally made it out of Sweet Apple Acres. She rested for a moment under the shade of some apple trees, and then she ran to some bushes and dumped all the smelly contents out of sight. She then put the lid back on and called up to the sky.
“Rainbow Dash!”
High above, Rainbow had just finished shunting her clouds around. When she heard Pinkie Pie called her, she scanned the ground and dived down to the orchard entrance as soon as she located her.
“You called?”
“I’m helping Applejack with some chores,” Pinkie said. “Could you help me carry this heavy composter please.”
“Sure thing,” replied Rainbow, touching down and grabbing one of the composter’s handles. “Where’s it going?”
“Uh, I’ll lead the way once we lift it up,” Pinkie was trying not to laugh as she grabbed the other handle.
“OK. Ready? 1, 2, 3!”
Pinkie let go and Rainbow Dash rocketed into the air carrying the feather-light composter with her.
Rainbow Dash, who was thoroughly surprised and disoriented, couldn’t stop shooting upwards until she hit a cloud. This wasn’t one of the clouds she’d been moving around earlier, though. It was black as coal dust. Rainbow dropped the composter and looked frantically around. More dark clouds were advancing on her.
“Oh, no! The Everfree Forest’s invading again!” she cried.
Without thinking, she began attacking the dark clouds. Pinkie Pie watched from below. The clouds began to rumble. A lightning bolt shot out of one of them. It missed Rainbow Dash and hit the composter before it hit the ground. It landed feet from Pinkie as a black and charred mess.
“You’re not pushing me around, pal!” Rainbow Dash snapped at the cloud before pummelling it.
Pinkie Pie tried to call to Rainbow Dash and tell her that those clouds weren’t actually invading, but the battered clouds started firing lightning around and two bolts nearly hit her. Rainbow Dash dodged every attempt by the defensive clouds to zap her.
“You’re not… welcome… in Ponyville!” she grunted as she continued to hit the clouds and avoid being hit by lightning.
Despite her best efforts, the Everfree clouds were forcing her backwards, and they were now hovering slowly but surely towards the zap apple field.
Applejack and Big McIntosh had finished placing a bucket under each of the zap apple trees. There was nothing left to do at this stage but wait for the Everfree clouds to arrive and sprout the leaves.
“What in Tarnation?!” Applejack cried when she saw the clouds approaching.
Rainbow Dash was still trying to fight the dark, growling clouds away. Lightning was still being fired in all directions, but Rainbow was too quick for it.
“Rainbow, get away from those clouds!” Applejack shouted. “We need them to sprout the zap apple leaves!”
Rainbow Dash looked down. “Oh, is it…?”
As soon as she lost her concentration, three bolts of lightning hit Rainbow Dash as once. Luckily, she had a soft landing in a bush. But even though the Everfree clouds were no longer obstructed, they wouldn’t stop shooting lightning all around the field. Not only did the trees get hit, but so did some of the buckets, and Applejack and Big McIntosh. Once all of the zap apple trees had leaves on their branches, the dark clouds reversed back to the Everfree Forest silently and without firing anymore lightning. Pinkie Pie, who had managed to avoid being stricken, sprinted to the zap apple field to find Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Big Mac covered in lightning burns.
“Are you OK?!” she exclaimed.
“Nnnnope,” Big Mac groaned.
This wasn’t the first time Rainbow Dash had been injured by lightning, and being a pegasus, she recovered from it quite quickly after the Ponyville Hospital staff administered some sting weed. Once she was allowed to leave, she went to visit Applejack and Big McIntosh, who had been lucky enough to be given the same room. Apple Bloom, Granny Smith and Pinkie Pie were there, and they roused Applejack and Big Mac from their naps as Rainbow entered the room.
“I’m really sorry I tried to chase off those Everfree clouds,” Rainbow Dash said. “I didn’t know it was zap apple season. I never heard any timber wolves and banging pots last night.”
“It’s not all your fault, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie said with a frown. “I’m the one who made you all confused with that silly prank .”
“Don’t neither of ya worry about it,” Applejack said kindly. “We forgive ya.”
“Eeeyup,” Big Mac nodded.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash smiled.
There was a knock on the door and Nurse Redheart entered the room. Pinkie Pie’s happiness faded. She might know everypony in town and she might claim that everypony is her friend, but Nurse Redheart was not in her good books. She never quite got over the way Nurse Redheart treated her when the Cake Twins were born. Even when she’d complied with her order to be quiet and she sang a Happy Birthday song to Pound and Pumpkin as silently as she could, Redheart had still kicked her out of the room. She’d felt affronted ever since and couldn’t help but die a little inside whenever she encountered the nurse.
“How long before my brother and sister are better, Nurse?” asked Apple Bloom.
“I’m afraid it’ll take a lot longer to heal those two,” said Nurse Redheart. “Nab turtles got into our underwater sting weed garden, and our supply is very low. Sting weed grows pretty quickly, but the turtles eat it just as quickly .”
“So ya don’t know how long they’ll have to be here?” Granny Smith asked.
“No, we don’t,” Nurse Redheart shook her head.
You never have anything good to say, do you? thought Pinkie bitterly.
“Well who in the hey is gonna work the zap apple harvest?” groaned Applejack. “Granny and Apple Bloom won’t be able to handle it by themselves.”
Big McIntosh grinned and looked at Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash pondered. “Well, why not?”
Pinkie Pie managed to stop brooding over the way she was treated on the Cake Twins’ 0th birthday and decided that she could take over the apple farm’s chores as well.
“Don’t worry about it, guys,” Rainbow said to Applejack and Big Mac. “We’ll keep the orchard warm for ya.”
“Just tell us everything you know, Granny Smith,” said Pinkie Pie.
“Well, OK, but it might take a while,” replied Granny Smith. “I’ve been around for many moons now.”
“I meant tell us everything you know about zap apples ,” Pinkie Pie hissed.
“Oh, of course,” Granny Smith rolled her eyes.
Before long, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were seeing to Sweet Apple Acres’ fields while Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were collecting everything they needed to make zap apple jam. In the mackintosh orchard Rainbow Dash’s applebucking was in no way hindered by the injuries the sting weed had left behind. Pinkie Pie on the other hand soon remembered that she wasn’t much good at collecting fruit from trees. Her baskets only seemed to take in one apple per kick of the tree. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but comment.
“How come you’re so bad at this, Pinks? You are an earth pony.”
This, on top of having to be in the same room as Nurse Redheart earlier, was too much for Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, you think you can talk down to me just because you’re stronger than me and you’re immune to lightning and--?!”
“Whoa, whoa, Pinkie, chill out!” cried Rainbow. “I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything.”
Pinkie gave her head a shake. “I’m just in a bad mood.”
“Frustrated?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Well, yeah, but also because… I just don’t like Nurse Redheart,” Pinkie admitted.
She told Rainbow about how she felt when the nurse had ejected her from the crib room despite the fact that she had complied with her wishes and talked quietly to the newborn twins.
“Well, just because she has to be the bearer of bad news sometimes,” said Rainbow Dash, “doesn’t mean she’s a downer.”
“You mean like just because I’m an earth pony, it doesn’t mean I’m good at applebucking?” asked Pinkie Pie, raising an eyebrow.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Alright, I get it. Not all earth ponies are good at farming.”
They nodded at each other and got back to work. But Pinkie couldn’t help but moan when Rainbow’s next kick overloaded her bucket with bright red apples.
“OK, now you’re just showing off,” she griped.
“I am not!” protested Rainbow Dash. “You know what? I’m gonna go buck those trees over there . You’re getting me all crabby now.”
“Oh, sure. I, Pinkie Pie, the smilingest pony in Ponyville, is making you crabby,” grumbled Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash was still faring better than Pinkie Pie as far as output, but her kicks were stripping some bark from the trees.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Apple Bloom came bouncing into the field. “Me and Granny are done singin’ to the water, and we’ve got everything we need for the jam.”
“What are ya telling me for?” grumbled Rainbow Dash. “I’m not involved in any of that jam stuff. I’m gonna be doing the actual harvesting.”
Apple Bloom was taken aback. “I was just lettin’ ya know. And I thought maybe I could help you and Pinkie Pie out if you like.”
“Well I’m doing fine, but Pinkie needs all the help she can get,” Rainbow said smugly.
“What are you so cocky for?” demanded Apple Bloom.
“I’m not cocky. I’m just saying that I’ve got this applebucking thing down.”
“You’re talkin’ like you’ve been doin’ it all your life,” Apple Bloom said crossly. “You’re not like my big brother and sister, you know.”
Rainbow Dash scowled. “Well neither are you .”
Apple Bloom was outraged.
“I am so like them!” she insisted “I’ve bucked my share of apples.”
“Oh, yeah? Scootaloo told me that when she, you and Sweetie Belle tried to harvest last year’s zap apples… early, I might add… you all ended up in a mud puddle.”
Apple Bloom red a bit red. “Well, I’ve learned plenty about applebucking since then.”
“In that case,” said Rainbow Dash, “why don’t you take what you’ve learned and go bother- or, help Pinkie Pie?”
She didn’t even bother to wait for Apple Bloom to answer. She went back to her applebucking while Apple Bloom trotted moodily towards the other side of the field.
By this point, Pinkie Pie was utterly frustrated. It seemed no matter how hard she kicked, only one apple would fall out at a time. She decided to take a run at it, and she hit the tree trunk with such force, it wobbled violently. It didn’t release any apples until it swung back in Pinkie’s direction, and unluckily, they hit Apple Bloom in the face.
“Ow! Watch what you’re doing, Pinkie!” she barked.
“Sorry,” replied Pinkie.
Apple Bloom didn’t seem to hear. “Rainbow Dash was right. You really do need help.”
“I don’t need help. I am the help,” Pinkie Pie retorted. “I’m the whole reason the zap apple harvest is even gonna happen.”
“No way. You ain’t the only one,” Apple Bloom tilted her head in Rainbow Dash’s direction. “She’s here too.”
“So what? Her mane and tail my look like a zap apple, but that doesn’t make her the best pony for the job,” said Pinkie Pie.
“Then who is the best pony for the job?” asked Apple Bloom. “You?”
Pinkie Pie looked back at her basket. Only six apples were sitting in it.
“Well, no,” she admitted.
“Then quit being braggier than Diamond Tiara,” Apple Bloom insisted.
“Oh you’re just saying that because her dad’s making all the money from your family’s zap apples,” Pinkie Pie said snidely.
“I am not!” snapped Apple Bloom. “I’m outta here. You can try to figure out how to be a half-decent apple bucker on your own.”
Pinkie Pie watched Apple Bloom stomp back towards the barn.
“Where did she get that terrible attitude from?” she wondered as she gathered up the apples that had flown off the tree.
She found a bruised apple and flung it into a tree in a fit of frustration.
None of the three grouchy ponies’ moods improved the following morning. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had arranged to meet Granny Smith and Apple Bloom for breakfast. Apple Bloom hadn’t even made it to the kitchen when she heard Granny Smith shouting at the glass jars they were going to use for the zap apple jam.
“On the command “Now”, I want whoever’s responsible for half our water going missing last night to take one pace forward!”
“Wouldja keep it down, Granny?” moaned Apple Bloom. “You don’t have to yell at the jars.”
Granny Smith watched Apple Bloom stagger into the room. “Eyes right troops! Second in command is on parade!”
“Where are we supposed to have breakfast?” inquired Apple Bloom. “Those jars are taking up the whole table.”
“Don’t ya fret, young’un,” smiled Granny Smith. “I’ll dismiss them when Pinkie and Rainbow get here.”
When Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash arrived and uttered some half-hearted helloes, Apple Bloom seemed to lose her appetite.
“If anyone actually needs me,” she said as she walked out of the house, “I’ll be in the treehouse.”
Granny Smith, Rainbow and Pinkie watched Apple Bloom through an open window as she walked towards the CMC headquarters uttering angry words that they couldn’t hear. She never even looked back to reconsider not joining them for breakfast.
“My, oh my. Sounds like that little filly ain’t getting enough sleep,” Granny Smith sighed.
Rainbow Dash was tempted to say that it was because of Pinkie, but somehow, she thought she’d end up regretting it.
“I guess Big Mac was right,” Granny Smith went on. “She was too young to hear the story of the Zap-O-Lantern.”
“The Zap-O-Lantern?” Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash both asked.
Granny Smith showed them a page from a book called “Equestrian Literature Abridged”.
“It was a story made up by the only other ponies who lived on this land when my family first came here,” she told them. “They were pumpkin farmers and they were scared of anything that came out of the Everfree Forest.”
“I can’t say I blame them,” said Rainbow Dash, remembering those dark clouds.
“They tried to discourage ponies from trying our zap apple products by writing this here story about a monster zap apple and goin’ to Manehattan to get it published,” continued Granny Smith. “But by the time their story got out, ponies were hooked on my zap apple jam. And they left their dilly-dallying foals to watch over the farm, but they let it go down the tubes.”
She allowed herself a chuckle.
“They had to leave and we got a bit of their property. Their old pumpkin farm is where our jersey mac trees are now.”
Pinkie Pie heaved a heavy sigh. “I’m amazed how happy you are that your zap apple jam cost a family their home.”
“Now see here, missy!” Granny Smith protested. “It ain’t my fault they had to sell their farm. It's just like I said. Those foals of theirs couldn’t handle the responsibility. Not even their daughter, and she was Applejack’s age at the time.”
Pinkie Pie decided to skip breakfast as well. “I’ll just snack on some apples while I work.”
“Oh, for guacamole’s sake! What’s the matter with everypony?” Granny Smith spluttered. She turned to her jam jars. “If any of you are making everyone lose their appetites, you better cut it out or you’ll all be on a charge!”
Later that morning, Pinkie Pie was carrying on from where she left off in the mackintosh field, Apple Bloom was fuming in her treehouse, and Rainbow Dash was applebucking in the golden delicious field next to the Vampire Fruit Bat Zone.
“Did Pinkie Pie tick Apple Bloom off, or was that me?” Rainbow Dash was pondering the cause of all their terrible moods while her baskets took on dozens of apples with every kick. “Well, I did , it was Pinkie’s fault. That little crosspatch.”
“Huh?!” came an unfamiliar voice.
Rainbow Dash jumped and looked towards the Vampire Fruit Bat Zone. There was an alarmed looking orange colt with black hair staring at her from behind the fence.
“Who are you?!” demanded Rainbow Dash.
The colt swallowed hard and said “I’m Lazybug. I, uh, just moved to Ponyville with my big sister. I heard you say “Crosspatch”. That’s my sister’s name.”
“Oh. Well, I’m Rainbow Dash. Welcome to Ponyville, kid,” Rainbow Dash smiled warmly. “Um, I think you might have taken a wrong turn. That’s vampire fruit bat territory. You better get outta there. They can be nasty.”
Lazybug looked uncomfortable as he began to walk away from the fence.
“Hey, you don’t have a cutie mark,” Rainbow Dash pointed to Lazybug’s flank. “Were you looking for the leader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? She’s in the treehouse that way.”
Rainbow Dash pointed Lazybug in the right direction.
“Oh. OK!” Lazybug’s face brightened. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash.”
And he ran off towards the treehouse as fast as his little legs would carry him.
“That oughtta lift Apple Bloom outta the dumps,” smiled Rainbow Dash. “And hey, a new family in Ponyville should make Pinkie Pie happy.”
Pinkie Pie appeared so suddenly, she might as well have used a teleportation spell.
“A new family’s come to Ponyville?!” she cried. “I gotta grab my welcome wagon!”
She zoomed away towards the town.
“Hey, you can’t leave me to do all the work on my own!” bellowed Rainbow Dash.
Author's Note
I basically wanted to write a story about my three favourite characters, and I reached the conclusion that the thing they had in common was zap apples.
Once Pinkie Pie had collected her welcome wagon, she asked the first pony she came across where the new family had moved to. But Octavia hadn’t heard anything about newcomers to Ponyville. So Pinkie asked Button’s Mom, but she didn’t know anything about it either. Junebug couldn’t answer Pinkie either. Nor could Doctor Whooves or Beignet. Pinkie Pie’s search for answers went on for hours, and the sky clouded over as she went on asking around. The weather team had misread the instructions Rainbow Dash had left behind and now Ponyville was completely overcast.
Eventually, Pinkie Pie’s inquiry led her to Carousel Boutique.
“I’m afraid I haven’t heard anything about it, dear,” said Rarity.
“What is this? Did Rainbow Dash lie to me?” wondered Pinkie Pie.
“I… couldn’t say,” replied Rarity. “Oh, since you’re here, could you do me a little favour?”
Her horn lit up and Applejack’s hat hovered out of the boutique.
“I’m rather busy at the moment. Could you please take this to Applejack at the hospital?” she asked. “I’ve finished restoring it for her.”
“Okey-dokey-lokey.”
Pinkie Pie forgot all about the elusive newcomers to Ponyville as she put Applejack’s hat on and hopped towards the hospital.
Pinkie Pie entered through the front doors and the first thing she saw brought her bad mood storming back
“Hello, Pinkie,” said Nurse Redheart cheerfully.
“…Hi,” Pinkie Pie managed to say.
“Here to visit Applejack and Big McIntosh?” Nurse Redheart asked.
“…Yeah.”
“It’s funny. You’re the third pony with a reddish coat to come and see them today,” she Nurse Redheart.
“Am I?” Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow. “Who were the other two?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to divulge visitor information,” replied the nurse.
Pinkie Pie frowned.
Nurse Redheart considered. “Well, one of them is still here, so I suppose there’s no harm in telling you who she is.”
Pinkie Pie perked up. “Really?”
“You’ll probably see her on your way up anyway,” Nurse Redheart shrugged. “It’s Cheerilee. She’s up there visiting Big McIntosh.”
Pinkie Pie smiled.
“Um, listen Pinkie,” Nurse Redheart added, “I’m sorry about all these rules, but this is a hospital. I lot can go wrong if we’re not careful.”
Pinkie Pie had to admit that she had a point, and couldn’t help but offer her hoof to Nurse Redheart.
“I understand,” she said. “No hard feelings.”
Nurse Redheart shook Pinkie’s hoof. “Happy to hear it. Well, you know the way to Applejack and Big Mac’s room. But please keep your visit short. We’ll be giving them all the sting weed we can spare soon.”
“Alrighty-lighty,” Pinkie smiled as she headed upstairs.
Pinkie bounced along the third floor hallway feeling none of the anger from yesterday evening.
“I’m so glad I could straighten things out with Nurse Redheart,” she smiled. “And a few weeks before her birthday, too. I’m gonna throw her such a bash—“
Bash!
The hospital rocked. Broken glass tinkled. Cracks formed in corners. Pinkie stopped moving, frozen in shook mere feet from the door to Applejack and Big McIntosh’s room.
“It won’t be quite as big a bash as that,” she said.
“What was that?!” Nurse Redheart came pelting hysterically into the hallway. “What did you do, Pinkie!”
Pinkie wheeled angrily around. “I didn’t do anything!”
Applejack’s and Big Mac’s door flew open. A very wide-eyed Cheerilee staggered into the hallway.
“Pinkie! Redheart! Something tried to get into Applejack and Big Mac’s room!” she cried. “Something big! It ran into the window and rammed the whole wall!”
Pinkie Pie and Nurse Redheart dashed to the doorway.
“Watch where you step!” Cheerilee warned. “There’s glass and medical stuff all over the floor.”
The window frame had fallen apart. The wall was festooned with cracks and the wallpaper was in shreds. There were shards of glass all over the floor in front of the window. First aid boxes, medicine bottles and a blue cooler were lying everywhere else on the floor. Big McIntosh and Applejack were sitting bolt upright in their beds, Big Mac holding Smarty Pants and Applejack looking completely disoriented. She’d been asleep before the crash and was even more confused than everypony else.
“What was that?!” she cried.
“I- I don’t really know what it was,” Cheerilee stammered. “All Big Mac and I really saw was a huge mouth in the window.”
“Is it gone now?” Pinkie asked.
“Eeeyup,” answered Big Mac.
Pinkie Pie began sweeping the shards of glass with her tail anyway. In mid-sweep, something bit her tail.
“A nab turtle!” Nurse Redheart spluttered.
Cheerilee pointed to the cooler on the floor. “When the building got hit, that cooler fell and that turtle fell out of it. It took one look at the window and lunged towards it. And the huge thing just… backed off.”
Nurse Redheart picked up the cooler. Lots of water had spilled out of it, but there was nothing solid in it.
“As if this attack wasn’t bad enough,” she groaned. “That nab turtle ate the last of our sting weed. I’m sorry, but you two are going to be here even longer. We will move you to another room, though.”
Once Pinkie’s path to the window was clear, she poked her head out. There was nothing abnormal outside, but Bon Bon was standing quite close to the hospital staring in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres with her mouth wide open.
“Hey! Bon Bon!” Pinkie called. “Did you see any huge monsters?!”
Bon Bon gave her head a shake and turned towards Pinkie.
“I don’t really know what I just saw!” she replied. “It was big and round and it moved really fast! I think it went towards Sweet Apple Acres!”
Pinkie Pie wasted no time in climbing out the demolished window, sliding down the down spout and zooming away to the orchard.
It was still cloudy when Pinkie Pie got there, and it was getting dark. She had no time to even begin searching for a huge, round, big mouthed monster because Rainbow Dash flew right up to her as soon as she arrived and began shouting madly at her.
“You left me to applebuck all the golden delicious and red galas by myself! I don’t care if you can only collect one apple at a time! We made a promise to AJ and Big Mac!”
“Well for your information,” Pinkie interrupted, “I just went to see AJ and Big Mac! And their room was attacked!”
“Attacked?”
“By some huge, round thing with a big mouth!”
Rainbow Dash remembered what Granny Smith had told them that morning and gasped.
“The Zap-O-Lantern!” she cried.
“What? Granny Smith told us that was just made up to scare ponies away from zap apple products,” scoffed Pinkie Pie.
At first, Rainbow Dash thought maybe she was being stupid, but then a few thoughts occurred to her.
“Do you remember what the book said?” she asked. “The Zap-O-Lantern wanted to protect all zap apples from being eaten. What if it went after Applejack and Big Mac because they had been the ones harvesting zap apples for the last few years?”
“Why would it go after them ?” asked Pinkie Pie. “We’re the ones working the zap apple harvest this year.”
“That could mean it’ll come after us next,” said Rainbow Dash. “It could want everypony involved in the harvest out of the way. We should go make sure Apple Bloom and Granny Smith are OK.”
“I think you’ve been hearing too many ghost stories,” Pinkie Pie shook her head.
“OK, say it isn’t the Zap-O-Lantern,” said Rainbow Dash. “There’s still a big, round, big-mouthed monster on the loose, and we gotta find it and kick its butt.”
“That’s right,” Pinkie agreed.
“I’ll bet ya it is the Zap-O-Lantern, though,” Rainbow Dash smirked. “What do ya say? If I win, you never leave me to do all the work again.”
“OK, fine,” Pinkie Pie nodded. “And if I win, you gotta help me plan Nurse Redheart’s surprise birthday party.”
“What?! I thought you hated Nurse Redheart.”
“Hey, I never said I hated her!” Pinkie insisted. “I just said she rubbed me the wrong way. But everything’s alright between us now.”
Rainbow Dash smiled. “So, have we got a bet?”
Pinkie Pie nodded.
Out of habit, Rainbow Dash spat on her hoof and held it to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie had never made a bet with Rainbow Dash before, but spitting on her hoof was not beneath her. But just as they were about to seal their wager with a spitty hoof-bump, a red mare with blue mane and tail darted between them and scooped up their spit in a jar. They fell backwards and picked themselves up in time to see the red mare run into the zap apple field.
“Hey! Get back here!” Rainbow Dash roared, and took off after her.
Pinkie Pie was about to follow on, but a deep rumbling caught her attention. It was getting darker and darker. She looked up. Clouds from the Everfree Forest were drifting towards the zap apple field. The third stage of the season was underway. Rainbow Dash was catching up to the spit thief, and hadn’t noticed the darkness and Everfree clouds until a crow flew straight into her face. It cawed crossly at her and carried on flying. Rainbow Dash, well off course, found herself surrounded by crows, the majority of which were in the sky flying around an apple-shaped formation. The zap apple trees began to sizzle. In seconds, blue flowers sprouted on the leaves. The crows began to fly away and the Everfree clouds drifted back towards their home.
Pinkie Pie ran up. “Where’d she go?!”
“I lost her!” Rainbow Dash groaned. “You go check on Apple Bloom and Granny Smith while I look for her.”
So Pinkie Pie ran to the barn to check on Granny Smith, who was still hollering at the empty jam jars. Apple Bloom wasn’t there, so Pinkie went to the treehouse next.
“That mare… could she have been the reddish pony Nurse Redheart was talking about?” she pondered as she made her way to the CMC headquarters.
When she arrived and looked inside, Apple Bloom was nowhere to be seen.
Earlier that day, Apple Bloom’s spirits had been lifted for about a minute when Lazybug turned up and told her that he was interested in joining the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He seemed utterly jumpy at the prospect, and Apple Bloom had presented one of Sweetie Belle’s maroon, gold-lined capes for him to examine. At that moment, there was a commotion outside. Apple Bloom heard a mare shouting, but before she could look out of the window to see what was happening, Lazybug had pulled her CMC cape over her head and dragged her out of the treehouse.
“Crosspatch! I got their little sister!” he had called out.
“Great! Let’s get the heck outta here!” Apple Bloom heard the mare shout.
Apple Bloom tried to pull the cape off her head, but Lazybug and Crosspatch kept a firm hold on her as they ran her to someplace. When at last they’d stopped running, Crosspatch removed the cape from Apple Bloom’s face and held her down.
“Where are your brother and sister?!” she hissed. “Why aren’t they here? Why are those two other ponies doing their work?”
Apple Bloom, not knowing who these two ponies were or where they had taken her, panicked and told them that they were in the hospital with lightning burns. Immediately, Crosspatch shoved Apple Bloom against a tree trunk and tied her to it with her CMC cape. Lazybug then shoved an apple into her mouth. At that moment, Apple Bloom realised that they were in the Vampire Fruit Bat Zone because several bats began hovering over her trying to get at the apple in her mouth.
“Go away!” barked Lazybug.
He brandished a water spritzing bottle at the bats and sprayed them. They hissed and backed off.
“Don’t waste that water!” snapped Crosspatch, snatching the bottle away from Lazybug and spraying herself with it. “Stay here and keep those vampire bats away from Apple Bloom. I’m gonna go after Applejack and Big Mac.”
She gave the bottle back to Lazybug, who sprayed himself with it.
“Use this if it helps,” Crosspatch then handed Lazybug a bell clapper and walked away. Apple Bloom knew that it was from the barn’s bell.
For hours since, Lazybug was standing guard at the tree Apple Bloom was tied to, holding the bell clapper up to the vampire fruit bats who were hovering several feet above them. Apple Bloom had tried time and again to squirm free of her cape, but the gold lining was impossible to fight against. She kept her chin up in the hope that a vampire fruit bat would slip past Lazybug and grab the apple in her mouth so she could yell for help. But Lazybug was too quick and drove every single one back with the clapper. Now it was evening and the bats were growing tired of trying. They’d already eaten every other apple in the area, and since Lazybug wasn’t letting his guard down, there seemed to be no point in hanging around here. Apple Bloom groaned and watched Lazybug spray himself with water for what must have been the hundredth time. She couldn’t help but wonder why he was doing this. It wasn’t hot outside. It had been cloudy all afternoon, although now, the Everfree clouds had pushed the Ponyville weather team’s clouds away. The sun was setting by now, and Lazybug was clearly getting tired.
Lazybug yawned. A vampire fruit bat who had lingered dived for the apple in Apple Bloom’s mouth.
“No you don’t!”
Lazybug swung the clapper at the bat. It screeched furiously and flew away.
“Why couldn’t we feed you to it as well?” Lazybug grumbled.
Apple Bloom felt a twinge of panic again. Feed her to what?
“It’d save me the trouble of having to keep these nasty things away from you,” Lazybug carried on grumbling.
Then he flinched and turned to Apple Bloom.
“But don’t go thinking I’m a slacker or anything,” he said, pointed the bell clapper at her. “I don’t live up to my name, you know. I’m only called Lazybug because my sister was still a little foal when our parents told her they were going to name me ‘Ladybug’, and they thought it was cute when she said ‘Lazybug’ instead. So it stuck.”
He turned back towards the few vampire bats who were left in the area.
“Ladybugs are supposed to be good luck,” he went on ranting. “And me and Crosspatch could have done with some good luck. But instead we had to share our land with your grandma. And she managed to find something that would make her family rich, and she decided to spread lies about us.”
Apple Bloom made a grunt of protest from behind the apple gagging her. Lazybug glared at her.
“She has !” he insisted. “We didn’t cause our old pumpkin farm to go downhill. We were just as curious as she was. There were things about zap apples that all three of us didn’t know. Heck, we know something about zap apples that your grandma doesn’t.”
Lazybug, pent up anger in every word he spoke, began telling Apple Bloom how he and his sister came to be here. When Granny Smith had first discovered zap apples in the Everfree Forest and planted a field of zap apple trees right next to their pumpkin farm, their frightened parents gave them a stern warning to stay well away from those trees. They’d hurriedly written a horror story about a giant pony-eating zap apple and ran off to Manehattan to find a publisher. But Crosspatch and Lazybug weren’t scared. Crosspatch showed no fear as, one night, she shooed a bunch of raccoons out of the pumpkin patch right beside the zap apple field (she had a knack for pest control). Lazybug, who had been watching the meteor shower that had happened earlier, asked Crosspatch if she was OK with him taking a zap apple from its branch. She admitted that she was curious about them as well and stood aside so he could walk to the fence, clamber onto their composter and reach up to pick a zap apple.
Neither Crosspatch nor Lazybug realised that the zap apples weren’t ripe at this point. They also didn’t know that they couldn’t be picked when they weren’t ripe. Lazybug couldn’t get the only zap apple he could reach off its branch. Crosspatch came and assisted him. They had a really go at getting the grey apple off of its branch, and managed to break its steam. It had made a sharp crackling sound when it had come off the branch, but it appeared harmless to Crosspatch and Lazybug. They both took a bite out of it, and as it wasn’t ripe, it didn’t taste good. Dissatisfied, Lazybug took the lid off the composter and Crosspatch tossed the grey apple, bite marks on either side of it, into the bin. But Lazybug hadn’t even put the lid back on when a green glowing light shot out of the composter. Then the zap apple rose up and right before their eyes, it swelled to the size of a shed and its bite marks transformed into a huge mouth. Horrified, they turned tail and ran towards their barn. They never even got close. The giant zap apple had caught them and ate them.
After that, Crosspatch and Lazybug seemed to lose their minds. All they could think about was collecting apples. The giant zap apple’s mouth opened. They stepped out and ventured into the Smith family’s orchards gathering apples. They took a basket, dumped all the apples into it, and walked mindlessly back to their pumpkin patch. The giant zap apple was waiting for them with its mouth wide open. Crosspatch could see two raccoons nibbling away at a pumpkin. A voice inside her was screaming at her to chase them away, but all she could seem to do was clamber into the giant apple’s mouth along with Lazybug. The giant mouth closed, and some time later, it opened again to let the two siblings venture out again to collect more apples. This happened night after night for decades. Each time, they would return to the composter, which the giant apple always sat atop every night, with a basket of apples. And over the years, Crosspatch and Lazybug couldn’t help but notice that the giant zap apple was gaining coloured stripes. One year, a red one appeared on the top. Another year, an orange one appeared under the red one. A yellow one followed it, a green one followed that, a blue one came next, and quite recently, a purple one covered the bottom of the giant apple.
Yesterday, things changed quite abruptly. The zap apple opened its mouth, and everything was spinning. Crosspatch and Lazybug tumbled out of its mouth, and instantly, they had their own minds and free will back. They looked back at the giant apple and realised that it was day time and it had swelled to its giant size to defend itself from the sun’s drying rays. Crosspatch and Lazybug ran off immediately, but the giant zap apple sought shade under the apple trees and gave chase. Luckily, the siblings came across the Vampire Fruit Bat Zone, and found that the giant apple couldn’t get too close to there because the vampire fruit bats would suck it dry. It lingered around the area though. The bats, having gained a great deal of respect for Fluttershy and the Apple Family by this point, didn’t leave the zone. Quite soon, Crosspatch and Lazybug felt dehydrated. They needed water. So Crosspatch diverted the giant zap apple’s attention, and Lazybug ran off to find water. He’d discovered Granny Smith’s copy of Equestrian Literature Abridged on one of his trips, and he and his sister were outraged when they found out what had happened since they’d been captured and enslaved by the Zap-O-Lantern.
“So there you are,” sighed Lazybug. “If a zap apple gets picked when it ain’t ripe, its protective magic makes it able to collect fluids to stay alive… if somepony gets spit on it. One thing your grandma has no idea about her precious zap apples.”
He hadn’t let his guard down the entire time he’d been talking about his and his sisters’ misadventure. None of the bats had managed to claim the apple in Apple Bloom’s mouth. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but sympathise with the horrible ordeal Lazybug and Crosspatch had gone through, but she knew that their plan wasn’t the answer. Before she could attempt to mumble her protests to Lazybug, a raspy yell distracted them.
“Lazybug!… Need water…”
Lazybug threw the water bottle in the direction of Crosspatch’s voice. He would not leave his post. A few squirts later, Crosspatch emerged from behind a bush and walked up to Lazybug carrying a jar with two dribbles of spit in it.
“No matter how much I want our plan to work, I am not looking forward to living as a half-equine half-plant mutant after all this is over with,” she griped.
Author's Note
I find the comic flows better, but I needed to write a narrative version to submit to this site.
“What’s that?” Lazybug pointed to the jar of spit. “I thought you said you’d given that spit to the Zap-O-Lantern.”
“This isn’t Applejack’s and Big McIntosh’s spit,” Crosspatch told him. “I did get theirs. The nurse at the hospital fell for my bluff and those two were asleep when I got to their room. This is Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash’s spit. Unfortunately, I didn’t run into the Zap-O-Lantern on my way here, so…”
“How is that unfortunate?” asked Lazybug.
“Well, I couldn’t throw the jar into its mouth,” explained Crosspatch. “It’s gonna be tough to get the Apples’ replacements outta the way. Rainbow Dash is really fast. She nearly caught me after I’d taken their spit.”
“Didn’t the Zap-O-Lantern go after Applejack and Big Mac?” asked Lazybug.
“Yes, but I don’t know if it got them. It might’ve been spotted, so we need to hurry up and get Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie eaten. It won’t come after us again if it’s got four other ponies to do its bidding.”
Apple Bloom struggled to break free of her cape, but she couldn’t manage it. A vampire fruit bat swooped down. Crosspatch lunged.
“Shoo!”
The frustrated bat backed off and flew away. Apple Bloom kicked the tree in disappointment.
“Why can’t we just feed her to the Zap-O-Lantern as well?” Lazybug suggested.
Crosspatch looked Apple Bloom in the eyes and her lip wobbled.
“I just can’t,” she said. “Look at her. She’s so young and perky. She reminds me of me when I was young.”
“Uh, Crosspatch,” smirked Lazybug, “you’re still young. And so am I.” He paused thoughtfully. “Any idea why?”
“Part of this stupid mutation, I suppose,” Crosspatch shrugged. “I suppose that’s the upside.”
Crosspatch picked up the jar of Pinkie’s and Rainbow’s spit and looked at it for a moment.
“You know, the last jar I threw at the Zap-O-Lantern nearly missed his mouth and almost got smashed,” she said. “Let’s throw an apple instead. It’ll be drawn to a source of juice, and an apple will be easier to aim at it.”
“Well good luck finding a juicy apple around here,” Lazybug frowned. “Those nasty bats sucked them all dry while trying to get at Apple Bloom’s.”
Crosspatch looked thoughtfully from Apple Bloom to Lazybug.
“What did I do with the jar lid?” she asked.
“I’ve got it here,” Lazybug shuffled over and picked up a lid. “It’s got a hole in it though.”
“That’s perfect!” exclaimed Crosspatch.
Then, before Lazybug could ask why, Crosspatch plonked the jar over his head and pulled it off again. Both is ears were soaked with drool.
“Yuck!” he cried.
Crosspatch slid the now empty jar underneath Apple Bloom and took the apple out of her mouth. Before Apple Bloom could yell for help, Crosspatch shoved her through the CMC cape and squashed her into the jar, snapping the lid with the hole in it over the top. This was far less comfortable than being tied to a tree. Apple Bloom could barely move, and her breath was already making the inside of the jar very warm. Crosspatch wiped the apple off to get rid of Apple Bloom’s drool, and then mopped up Pinkie’s and Rainbow’s drool from Lazybug’s ears.
“Jeez. At first, I thought you were gonna throw me at the Zap-O-Lantern,” chuckled Lazybug.
“Never,” insisted Crosspatch “You’re never going back to that monster, and neither am I. Now, are you ready?”
“I’m ready,” replied Lazybug confidently.
And the two siblings walked away, leaving Apple Bloom stuck in her jar.
Crosspatch looked back at Apple Bloom and chuckled. “You look like a prize winning gala apple in there.”
Apple Bloom seethed as she watched Crosspatch and Lazybug disappear. Any sympathy she had for their misfortune left her.
Darkness had fallen, and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash hadn’t seen any sign of Crosspatch, Lazybug or Apple Bloom. They met each other in the zap apple field.
“Alright Pinkie, the bet’s off,” said Rainbow Dash after they exchanged progress reports. “There’s something else going on here. That mare and that colt are definitely up to something. We need to call Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy here.”
“Right,” nodded Pinkie Pie.
She tilted her head to the sky and yelled.
“TWILIGHT!! RARITY!! FLUTTERSHY!!”
Rainbow Dash recoiled. “I meant with the bell , you idiot!”
“Oh.”
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash hurried to the barn.
“You tell Granny Smith to hold the fort,” Rainbow said to Pinkie as they crossed over the door to the apple cellar. “I’ll sound the alarm.”
Pinkie nodded as Rainbow Dash flew up to the bell tower. The kitchen window was still open, and Pinkie saw that Granny had not stopped talking to the jam jars.
“Listen here, soldiers! Your moonlight punishment fatigues are an hour away… so you will stand smartly to attention and stay vigilant!”
“Looks like she’s got everything under control,” Pinkie Pie said to herself as she drew away from the window.
“Hey, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash called from the roof.
Pinkie quickly scaled the barn walls and clambered into the rooftop.
“What is it?”
“The bell’s not working,” said Rainbow Dash. “I think that mare and that colt stole the clapper.”
“Leave it to me,” Pinkie grinned confidently as she ducked underneath the bell. She was going to use her head to ring the bell as she had once done with the school bell.
“Wait!” Rainbow grabbed the bell to stop it moving. “Look down there!”
Pinkie peered down. Crosspatch and Lazybug emerged from behind some trees and were running towards the barn.
“Get them!”
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie jumped off of the rooftop.
“Hurry, Lazybug!” shouted Crosspatch.
The siblings stopped at the cellar door.
“Don’t let them get into the cellar!” bellowed Rainbow Dash as they descended towards their foes.
The trees Crosspatch and Lazybug had appeared from were slammed to the ground. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash froze in fright. The spitting image of the king of the zap apples from Equestrian Literature Abridged was hovering briskly towards the barn with an open, hungry mouth. Crosspatch flung the cellar down open. Lazybug dived into the cellar. Crosspatch dived in after him and shut the door. The Zap-O-Lantern passed over the door and headed towards Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
“Run!” Rainbow shrieked.
Rainbow Dash went right, Pinkie Pie went left. Pinkie screamed when she looked back and saw that the Zap-O-Lantern had decided to chase her.
“Keep ahead of it, Pinkie!” called Rainbow Dash. “I’m gonna try and get the cellar door open!”
“OK!” Pinkie called back, picking up her pace to stay out of the Zap-O-Lantern’s reach.
Apple Bloom was wobbling like crazy trying to tip the jar she was in over to break free, but she couldn’t lean it over far enough. She wanted to call for help through the hole in the jar, but she could barely move her head, and she realized that if she got it completely stuck, she might block the hole and suffocate.
“If I don’t get outta here, our family’s gonna lose the farm,” she said.
Then she thought about Crosspatch’s comment about her looking like a prize winning apple in that jar. She had an idea. She would need to attract the attention of the vampire fruit bats that Lazybug had chased away. She took a deep breath and whistled as loudly as she could. Three bats appeared in the distance. Apple Bloom knew they didn’t exactly have 20-20 vision, so to them, she literally did look like a large red and yellow apple sitting next to a tree. The three bats screeched excitedly. Before Apple Bloom realized it, she was being dive bombed by dozens of vampire fruit bats. Countless fangs and blue tongues are now obscuring her vision. Cracks were forming all over the jar as the bats tried to bite the big apple. Apple Bloom forced her legs to outstretch, and the jar fell apart. Disappointed vampire fruit bats scattered everywhere as Apple Bloom leapt out of the broken jar bottom and stepped tentatively over the broken glass.
“I’m free!” she shouted triumphantly.
Rainbow Dash was straining to try and get the locked cellar door open.
“You doing OK, Pinkie?!” she called.
“Yeah!” replied Pinkie as she ran past Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow stopped straining and looked behind her.
“Yipes!” she cried before shooting upwards to avoid the Zap-O-Lantern’s open hungry mouth. “That was close.”
She looked down.
“Oh, snap! It can fly!”
Rainbow Dash flapped her wings furiously to keep ahead of the flying giant stripy apple.
“Rainbow!” Pinkie called from below. “I got the door open!”
Rainbow Dash veered over, let the Zap-O-Lantern pass her, and dived down to the cellar door. It was still closed.
“Hey, what…!”
She crashed through the door and landed with a painful thud on the cellar floor. Crosspatch and Lazybug jumped back in fright.
“Sorry, Dashie,” Pinkie peered down into the cellar. “But I figured you were high up enough to be able to break the door.”
Rainbow Dash looked angrily up at Pinkie Pie. The Zap-O-Lantern was descending rapidly towards her.
“Watch out!” Rainbow shouted.
Pinkie looked up, screamed, and jumped down into the cellar. Seconds later, the Zap-O-Lantern hit the ground and got wedged into the doorway.
“Great!” Rainbow Dash groaned. “We’re trapped!”
“Well,” said Pinkie as she picked herself up, “at least it can’t get to anypony.”
The cellar shuddered. Bits of the roof fell to the floor. The doorframe came apart and the Zap-O-Lantern was forcing its way down the stairs.
“It’s become too strong!” Crosspatch cried. “It’s getting in!”
“Did Applejack every say anything about another way out of the cellar?!” Rainbow Dash asked hastily.
“Nope,” Pinkie Pie replied.
“There isn’t one. We looked,” said Lazybug. “There’s nothing but baskets of apples back there.”
The massive mouth of the Zap-O-Lantern edged closer and closer to the trapped ponies.
Suddenly, it stopped moving. The purple stripe on its bottom had vanished. Then its blue stripe faded away.
“Its stripes are disappearing!” exclaimed Crosspatch.
The green and yellow disappeared from the Zap-O-Lantern’s skin. Its hungry smile changed to an alarmed frown. It began to prune.
“What’s happening to it?!” asked Pinkie Pie.
They watched as the orange and red stripes were erased, and its skin began to shrivel up. Moonlight shone through a slowly widening gap in the shattered doorway.
“What’s the slurping noise?” wondered Lazybug.
The shrunken Zap-O-Lantern began to tumble down the stairs, and dozens of vampire fruit bats were crawling all over it with their teeth sunk deep into the now grey skin.
“What’s this?!” spluttered Rainbow Dash. “I thought Fluttershy had gotten those freaks to stay in their own territory.”
“I gave them permission.”
They looked up. Apple Bloom was standing in the demolished doorway looking down at Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
“There you are!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
“Are you guys OK?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, we’re fine,” said Pinkie and Rainbow Dash together.
Crosspatch and Lazybug watched the vampire fruit bats sucking all the juice out of the now immobile Zap-O-Lantern’s remains.
“Gee,” said Crosspatch. “I was so bent on shooing pests away, I never thought to try and get those bats to help us .”
Rainbow Dash jerked around and pounced on Crosspatch.
“You’re in a lot of trouble, punk!” she snarled.
Pinkie Pie eyed Lazybug in his nervous face.
“Any last words before we take you both to Princess Twilight?” she asked sharply.
Lazybug, not bothering to ask who Princess Twilight was, said “Got any water?”
Crosspatch gasped. “We’ve left our water behind!”
“Well you can wait until we get to the princess to get a drink!” snapped Rainbow Dash.
“No, no, you don’t understand!” Crosspatch stammered.
Before she could explain, Apple Bloom had tossed their water spritzing bottle into the cellar. It landed with a sloshy plonk beside a very surprised Lazybug.
“There ya go, fellas,” Apple Bloom smiled.
“Wow. Thanks, Apple Bloom,” said Lazybug, picking up the bottle.
“You’re a good sport, kid,” said Crosspatch as Rainbow Dash released her.
Rainbow and Pinkie Pie watched, puzzled, as Lazybug sprayed himself and his sister with water. Apple Bloom clambered down the stairs, stepping over the feasting vampire bats and slipping a bit on the pool-sheet sized apple skin.
“Don’t be too hard on them, gals,” she said to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. “They’ve had a rough couple decades.”
“Decades?!”
By the time the whole story had been explained to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, the vampire fruit bats had extracted every last drop of juice from the Zap-O-Lantern. It would never try to eat any ponies and use them to collect apple juice for it again.
“Did you say the Zap-O-Lantern shrank after every night and hid in a composter during the day?” asked Rainbow Dash. “And then somepony dumped everything out?”
Crosspatch and Lazybug nodded. Pinkie Pie looked around for a distraction as Rainbow Dash eyed her annoyed. She found one. The vampire bats, apparently not satisfied with sucking the biggest apple in the world dry, flew over the ponies’ heads and targeted the apple baskets at the back of the cellar.
“Hey, this wasn’t the deal!” Apple Bloom yelled, walking to the baskets. “You’re supposed to head back home now!”
Some of the bats hissed at Apple Bloom as their fellows began sucking some of the apples at the back dry.
“You heard her! Get outta here!” Crosspatch snapped, she and Lazybug swatting at the bats.
“You two got a lot of nerve,” Rainbow Dash scowled.
“This is what they did before they lost their farm,” Apple Bloom told Rainbow and Pinkie Pie as they watched the two mutated ponies drive the bats out of the cellar.
“That’s right,” said Crosspatch. “Pest control’s what I got my cutie mark for.”
In seconds, the apple cellar was completely vampire fruit bat free.
“So, um, if you guys let us go,” said Lazybug, “we promise to get good honest work.”
“What, you too?” Rainbow Dash tilted her head. “You’re a little young to be getting a job, aren’t you?”
“I don’t care,” Lazybug frowned. “I just want to show everyone that I’m not a slacker like Granny Smith made everypony think I am.”
It was too bad they weren’t in the CMC clubhouse, because Pinkie Pie had a brilliant idea.
Ponyville Hospital’s sting weed garden sat at the bottom of the pond in the park. The divers the hospital hired had barely managed to pick enough to make a sandwich with. The nab turtles turned up every day and picked the whole garden clean. This morning’s growth was about four feet high, which delighted the approaching nab turtles. But before they could reach it, Crosspatch and Lazybug had propelled themselves out from within the weeds and charges towards them.
“This is the hospital’s sting weed!” gurgled Lazybug. “Go get your own!”
“There are plenty of other sting weed gardens in this pond!” bubbled Crosspatch. “You’re all making pigs of yourselves!”
As it transpired, having their physical ages preserved wasn’t the only upside of Crosspatch’s and Lazybug’s mutation. They could stay underwater for about an hour before they needed oxygen. The nab turtles didn’t stand a chance of taking the hospital’s sting weed.
The fourth stage of zap apple season took place that evening. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith stood in the zap apple field watching the shooting stars fly across the sky, followed by the wilting of the blue flowers and the appearance of the grey apples.
“Never thought I’d get to see that again,” a voice said as the Everfree Clouds drifted away.
“Is that really you, Crosspatch?!” exclaimed Granny Smith. “Well, bust my bonnet! I ain’t seen you since I was your age!”
Crosspatch grinned. “You haven’t changed.”
“So,” said Pinkie Pie, “how was your first day as aqua-farmers?”
Lazybug stepped forward. “Ta-da!”
Apple Bloom spluttered. There on Lazybug’s flank was an insect with a slash through it.
“My little brother’s found his calling,” Crosspatch smiled as everypony admired his cutie mark.
“Darn it. I almost wish I coulda recruited you,” groaned Apple Bloom. “You coulda been the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ first graduate. Instead, you had to be one of my foalnappers.”
Lazybug stopped grinning. “We never did apologize for that, did we?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Well?”
“We’re sorry we jumped you and made you tell us where your brother and sister were,” said Lazybug.
“Now we can make it up to you by telling you where they are,” said Crosspatch.
Crosspatch and Lazybug looked towards the field’s entrance.
“Howdy,” said Applejack and Big McIntosh, both perfectly healthy.
“Oh, goody! You’re all better!” beamed Granny Smith.
“Welcome back, guys!” shouted Apple Bloom, running up to her siblings and hugging them.
“Nice to see ya, little sis,” Applejack smiled. “Did ya miss us?”
“Yep.”
“Ya doing OK?” asked Big Mac.
“Yep.”
“Learn anything?” asked Applejack.
Apple Bloom didn’t answer right away. She looked back at Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, who both had similar thoughtful expressions on their faces.
“I think we did,” she replied at last. “I think we learned that a bad attitude can be contagious, just like a good attitude.”
Pinkie Pie added her two bits. “If you’re in a bad mood, you shouldn’t take it out on your friends. You’ll just end up upsetting everypony .”
“And when friends fight,” put in Rainbow Dash, “they give their enemies a chance to cause trouble for them.”
“Oh, come on. You don’t still consider us enemies, do you?” inquired Crosspatch. “Are we not square now?”
“No enemies of ours get to go to an awesome party thrown by Pinkie Pie,” said Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie presented a card with Nurse Redheart’s cutie mark on it and passed it to Crosspatch.
“Surprise birthday party for Nurse Redheart in two weeks,” Pinkie said. “See you there?”
“Yeah, you bet,” said Lazybug happily as Crosspatch opened the invitation.
A tiny pump concealed inside the card squirted little jets of water in Crosspatch’s and Lazybug’s faces when it opened. Everypony burst into laughter.
“Thanks, Pinkie,” chuckled Crosspatch.
Author's Note
The mutation was partially inspired by The Odd Life of Timothy Green , which I only know about because of the Nostalgia Critic.
