Too Much Love Will Kill You

by BronyDan

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, Random
Length: 3579

Rarity develops an unhealthy obsession with the band, 'Queen'.

When being part of a band, you should at least be familiar with some of the best bands out there. Unfortunately, Rarity reveals a shocking secret: She has never heard of 'Queen'!

So now Rainbow Dash has bought her a CD of theirs for her to listen to, and now it's all she ever talks about. How far will the obsession go? Will the Rainbooms be able to save their friend? how many 'Queen' references will I get into this story?

Keep reading to find out.

Published 2014-11-23 01:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-24 21:43:24 UTC

Chapter 1

After the last bell rang through Canterlot High, the Rainbooms were already in the music hall with their instruments. Rainbow Dash sat cross-legged against the wall, tightening the strings of her guitar, while Applejack was on the opposite side of the hall, casually strumming her bass. Rarity had left her keytar on its stand in favour of the grand piano, which now had wheels, as she had missed the soothing feeling of proper keys, and was now playing a soft classical ballad. As Pinkie Pie was demonstrating to Fluttershy her technique of playing the drums upside down, the door opened.

“Hey girls,” said Sunset Shimmer, holding a piece of paper in her hand. After the Battle of the Bands fiasco against the Sirens, she was now slowly beginning to gain back some of her fellow students trust, and was now serving as the Rainbooms venue manager and lead vocalist, next to Rainbow Dash, “I’ve just been going through some ideas for what we could do for next year.”

“Well, that sounds delightful.” said Rarity, turning away from the piano.

Sunset looked down at her list, “Well, we can do a special birthday performance for the Cake twins in March, the re-opening of the animal shelter in May, but I’ve got my eyes set for something big in July, seeing as how next year will be the 30th anniversary of the Live-Aid concert.”

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I wanna be Freddie Mercury!” Pinkie cried out excitedly.

“Pinkie Pie, ya don’ look anythin’ like Freddie Mercury.” said Applejack.

“I do when I put this moustache on.” said Pinkie, and she pulled out a thick rectangular moustache with sharp corners and slapped it onto her upper lip, jumped onto her drums and punched her fist in the air.

“No offence Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash chuckled, “but with that moustache, you look more like Groucho Marx.”

Everybody laughed, except for Rarity. She stared at them confused until she finally said, “Excuse me girls, but would I have to know who Freddie Mercury is in order to get the joke?”

Rainbow Dash tightened the strings so hard that one of them snapped. Her head snapped in Rarity’s direction, “Tell me you did not just say that.” she muttered darkly.

“Rarity, ya seriously never heard of Freddie Mercury?” said Applejack, her eyes wide.

“Well I don’t see why it should be a big deal if I haven’t.” said Rarity, going back to play the piano.

“But you at least know of Queen.” said Rainbow Dash, hoping for a ‘yes’, but when Rarity didn’t respond and just gave a neutral expression, she staggered back as if she had been hit in the face with a heavy weight. Pinkie rushed forward with a stool and slid it underneath her just in time for her to sit down, her head hung low.

“Right.” said Sunset Shimmer, going back to her list, “Well, I’m not saying that we recreate Live Aid, just taking some samples and…”

“YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF QUEEN?!” exploded Rainbow Dash, jumping off her stool and advancing on Rarity. Rarity did begin to feel quite frightened, the look in Rainbow’s eyes gave the impression she was going to kill, “How can you not know of one of the greatest rock bands in history?”

“Well, I’m sorry Rainbow, but you should know by now that I’ve always been a lady of the classics.” said Rarity, stroking the piano slowly.

“But Queen is classic!” shouted Rainbow Dash, “I don’t care if you know all the harmonies and tempos of one of those boring symphonies you love, you can’t go through life without not knowing at least one of their songs. Even Fluttershy knows this!” and she gestured to the quiet girl with the pink hair watching them. “You remember that singing competition we had last term, and she came second with her song? What was it again?”

“I really don’t think you should get me involved in this.” said Fluttershy, hiding behind her tambourine.

“It was ‘Somebody to Love’! By Queen!” Rainbow Dash said, defiantly, “And the victory song that our school football team sing when they win a match is the verse of ‘Another One Bites the Dust’, also by Queen! There’s even a poster of them behind you!” Rarity turned around to see what Rainbow was pointing at, and saw a black and white poster of four men staring down at her; the one in front was wearing a vest of some kind, but had a moustache, while his colleagues all had the basic mop of messy hair she would have expected form a typical rock band, “So I really want to know, how you could not know them?!”

“It just never interest me.” said Rarity, her arms folded and looking quite annoyed now.

Rainbow Dash was now seething. Her hands were bawled into fists and she was rocking on the balls of her feet. Suddenly she then grabbed Rarity’s wrist and dragged her out of the music hall, leaving the rest of the Rainbooms to sit in awkward silence. Eventually, Fluttershy asked, “So, what do you think of ‘We Will Rock You’?”

“Musical or the actual song?” asked Sunset Shimmer.

Rarity kicked and screamed in protest as Rainbow Dash dragged her out of the school and down the street. She tried to pull her wrist free, but to no avail; Rainbow’s grip was just too good. After about ten minutes of walking and shouting, Rainbow Dash finally stopped. Rarity looked up and saw that she had dragged her to a music store. It was a small corner store with a large window that stretched across the length of the front, where a drum kit and saxophone were on display. Rainbow Dash then grabbed Rarity’s wrist again and pulled her inside.

Along the back wall were a series of guitars in different colours and shapes, saxophones, tubas, flutes and a variety of other instruments were all put carefully on stands. The majority of the shop was taken up by aisles, stacked with CDs, vinyl records and music books for all manner or instruments. Rainbow Dash’s eyes scanned the store until finally she found what she wanted; a tall girl with an unruly amount of blue hair with lighter blue highlights. Her head was bobbing up and down while she was stacking a new shipment of CDs, and Rainbow Dash guessed that this was due to that fact that she was wearing her headphones so talking to her directly wasn’t an option, so she tapped her on the shoulder.

Vinyl Scratch almost dropped the stack of CDs in her arms. She removed her headphones, and lifted up her purple lensed glasses. “Hey RD, I’d kinda like you to not do that!” she snapped.

“Sorry Vinyl,” said Rainbow Dash, “But we’ve got a serious music epidemic. Where’s your nearest Queen CD?”

“Queen? Hold on a second.” and Vinyl went and disappeared down one of the aisles. She soon returned with a CD labelled, ‘Best of Queen Collection’. It showed the four men that were on the poster that Rainbow Dash had pointed at back at school.

Rainbow Dash paid for the CD and thrust it into Rarity’s hands, “There. Now go home and listen to it!”

“Rainbow Dash, this is getting ridiculous now.” groaned Rarity.

“What’s ridiculous is you being in a band and not knowing basic band history!” cried Rainbow Dash, “Now go and listen to it, and I want you to at least know the chorus of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by tomorrow!” and with that, Rainbow Dash stormed out of the shop.

“Honestly, that girl is such a child.” Rarity grumbled, later that evening. She had left the CD, still in its plastic wrapping, on top of her school books, and now she was getting ready to start work on her new fashion ideas, “Just because I don’t know a particular band, she has to act as if I’ve committed a crime of some kind. Well, no matter, there are more important things than knowing the lyrics to a song.” and she sat down at her sewing machine, put on her designer glasses and started feeding crimson fabric through the machine.

Normally, this activity would calm her down, but tonight, she just couldn’t concentrate. Her eyes kept going up and looking at the books where the CD laid. Eventually, she gave up and went over to the CD. “I suppose I could do with some background music while I work.” She then removed the plastic, opened up the case, took out the CD and placed it into her CD player…

Chapter 2

“So Sunset, I heard you guys are doing Live Aid next year.” said Derpy excitedly. The corridor was packed with students as it always was in the morning, people leaned against the walls waiting for their class to start, while others tended to their lockers, getting out their books and so forth. Sunset Shimmer had been waiting with the rest of the Rainbooms, (minus Rarity) outside Rainbow Dash’s locker when the blonde girl with the crossed eyes had just approached her.

“How did you know?” Sunset hissed.

“I was passing the music room you were practicing in yesterday.” Derpy shrugged, “So anyway, I was asking if I could go as Madonna. I’ve been told I sing ‘Like a Virgin’ really well.”

“Look, we’re not re-staging it Derpy,” said Sunset quickly before Derpy could start performing right there in the middle of the corridor, “it was just a suggestion to do something to commemorate it.”

“Oh.” said Derpy, “You know, the one thing that confused me about Live Aid was, did they actually know it was Christmas time at all? I mean, I don’t really like that song anyway, because it’s just a stupid question. I mean, what is more annoying than being starved to death, and then some famous pop star comes along and you’re excited at the thought of actually getting some food, and all he says to you is, ‘Do you know it’s Christmas time at all?’. That’s not going to help, I think he should have been saying ‘Do you want any food to eat at all?.”

Sunset just stared at Derpy for a second, rubbing her temple before she said “I don’t think you’ve fully understood the meaning of the song, Derpy.”

“Say, has anybody seen Rarity yet?” Applejack asked. Sunset muttered ‘thank you’ and turned back to her friends.

“Not yet.” said Rainbow Dash, taking one of her books out and closing her locker. “I just hope she actually listened to that CD, otherwise I may consider finding another person to play keytar.” The words had just left her mouth, when Rarity walked up. Her expression was mutual as she opened her locker. “Well?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Well what?” Rarity replied, not removing her head from her locker to look at Rainbow Dash.

“Did you listen to the CD?”

“I did.”

“And?”

Rarity closed her locker, looked at Rainbow Dash and said, “Eh.”

“Eh?” said Rainbow Dash, her face dropping like it did the previous day, “Eh?! What do you mean ‘Eh’? You listened to a ‘Queen’ CD, and felt nothing?!

“Like I said Rainbow Dash, I just don’t feel it was my type of music.”

“Yeah, but…” stuttered Rainbow Dash, “it’s Queen! How is it that someone can hear ‘Queen’ and not have some kind of positive reaction? I mean, isn’t that one of the Ten Commandments? ‘Thou shalt not steal’, ‘thou shalt not commit adultery’ and ‘thou shalt listen to ‘Queen’ and be bloweth away by it’!”

“Look, you asked me to listen to some of their songs and I have.” said Rarity, “Nothing was said that I had to actually enjoy it.”

Rainbow Dash tried to think of a counter argument, but is was no use; Rarity was right, she hadn’t said that she had to like. She gave a small grumble and sulked down the hall. Rarity sighed and followed her to History. Applejack, Flutershy, Pinkie Pie and Sunset just watched as they left, until finally, Pinkie said, “I don’t remember that last one being part of the Ten Commandments.”

But Rainbow Dash wasn’t entirely sure whether to believe Rarity or not. She always sat next to her during their history lesson, which was her least favourite subject, and would often find herself gazing out into empty space as the low and often times bored sounding voice of their teacher Mr Dandy (whose nickname amongst the students was ‘Cranky Doodle Dandy’) would go on and on about revolutions and wars that could have been interesting, but mostly it just drove the class to sleep.

However, as Rainbow Dash lowered her head against her desk as Mr Dandy talked about the causes of the First World War, she began to hear humming. She tilted her head to look at Rarity, who was taking notes, and realised it was coming from her; more to the point, it was also sounding familiar. “What’s that?” she whispered as quietly as she could.

“What’s what?” Rarity whispered back, not taking her eyes off her notebook.

“That song you’re humming.”

“It’s nothing.” Rarity hissed.

“It’s not nothing,” Rainbow Dash whispered back, “it’s…”

“Ms Dash!” Mr Dandy’s voice snapped Rainbow Dash to attention, “Since you seem to not need to listen, then you must obviously know what the actual cause of World War One was.”

“Um… Ah…” Rainbow Dash stuttered, “A sandwich?”

Mr Dandy stared at her, before turning back to the board, “So after the assassination attempts of the Archduke had failed…”

Later that day, Rainbow Dash called the rest of the Rainbooms together in the canteen during their free period, while Rarity was having Classical Music Studies. “Are ya sure ya weren’t just thinkin’ too hard into it RD?” said Applejack.

“Look, I’m being serious here!” said Rainbow Dash, “She was humming to the tune of ‘Scandal’! No one just starts humming the tune to a song from a band that they had just said was ‘Eh’, don’t they?

“Well, maybe she just finds that song to be the catchiest.” suggested Sunset Shimmer.

“Really?” asked Rainbow Dash, her eyebrow raised, “Out of all the songs that ‘Queen’ have produced, Rarity finds ‘Scandal’, one of their more obscure songs, to be the catchiest? I mean, I like the song too, but I wouldn’t say it was the all-time great ‘Queen’ song.”

The others said nothing. They all agreed that they would get Rarity’s side of the story when she finished Music Studies. Soon, the bell rang for lunch and students were beginning to pour in and line up at the counter ready to be served. As the Rainbooms got up to join the queue, they scanned the heads of the crowd to try and catch a glimpse of some purple curled hair. There was none. “Where the heck is she?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“She must still be in the music hall.” said Fluttershy, so they jumped out of the queue, walked out of the canteen and headed towards the music hall.

Music lessons took place in the East Block on campus, so it was a long walk from there to the canteen. As Rainbow Dash was starting to grumble about her stomach, they found themselves in a long and empty corridor, where at the end were two double doors that were the entrance to the music hall. As they walked towards it, the closer they got, they started to hear what sounded like a piano being played. Sunset Shimmer put a hand to the handle to push it open, but then Rainbow Dash stopped her at the sound of a bum note being played. “I want to test something.” she whispered as pressed an ear to the door. She then heard Rarity counting to herself and on cue, began to play on the piano and Rainbow Dash, still with her voice low, began to sing:

She keeps her Moet en Chandon in a pretty cabinet,
‘Let them eat cake’ she says, just like Marie Antoinette

Rainbow backed away from the door slowly and looked at the girls, a wicked grin spread across her face. Before anyone could stop her, she kicked the doors open.

Rarity jumped off the stool as the doors flew open and bounced off the wall. She looked to see Rainbow Dash and the rest of the Rainbooms standing in the doorway, a look of, as she could make out, triumphant on Rainbow’s face. “Gotcha, Killer Queen!” Rainbow Dash announced, pointing at Rarity.

“What do you think you’re doing?! Rarity demanded as she closed the lid on the piano and began picking up the music sheets that had fallen when the doors had flown open.

“So you thought Queen was ‘Eh’, huh?” said Rainbow Dash, in a smug tone as she walked slowly towards Rarity, “Not your style of music, huh?”

“Oh, that wasn’t Queen,” said Rarity hastily, “Tha… tha… that was just a… compilation of classic 16th century…”

“Rarity, I was outside listening singing the lyrics, which were matching perfectly,” said Rainbow Dash and she yanked the sheets of paper out of Rarity’s hand, “and oh look, a selection of ‘Queen’ songs for the piano!”

Rarity tried to grab the music sheets, but Rainbow Dash leapt back, holding the sheets above her head. Rarity gave up and slumped back down on the stool, her head in her hands. “Why didn’ ya jus’ say ya liked ‘Queen’, Sugarcube?” asked Applejack, putting a comforting arm around Rarity.

“Because,” said Rarity, trying to think of just what to say, “because I shouldn’t like it!” she burst out, “I mean, I have always adored some of the great composers, the great operas and symphonies that there have ever been, and yet here I am, finding myself not being to stop thinking, about a rock group that goes against my taste! Plus the fact that I can openly say something about a particular ballad or symphony, and no-one here will hold that opinion against me, but I am aware that this group has such a massive following; what if I end up saying something like how I don’t like a particular song, how would someone else react to that?”

“Oh Rarity,” said Fluttershy as she shuffled onto the stool to sit next to Rarity, “you shouldn’t be so scared about that. Everyone has different opinions, it’s true, but it’s really down to your opinion. For example, if I was to say I think that ‘Star Trek Nemesis’ was the worst movie in the franchise, people may disagree, but there will be others who respect my opinion, no matter what.”

Everyone else agreed and nodded their heads, except for Rainbow Dash who said, “Unless you count ‘Star Trek V’.”

“Well, that is your opinion Rainbow Dash, and I do respect that” said Fluttershy, “but regardless, ‘Nemesis’ feels more like an inferior movie to me.”

“In what way?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.

“Ok girls, I think we’re getting slightly off topic here.” said Sunset Shimmer.

“No, no, no,” said Rainbow Dash, ignoring Sunset, “I want to know, how exactly is ‘Nemesis’ worse than ‘Star Trek V’?”

“Well, there’s the fact that the plot was incredibly lazy, the villains’ plans and motivation made no sense, the actors seemed to be bored, killing off a main character in an unceremonious way, the director was so incompetent he couldn’t even get the actors’ name right and of course, the inclusion of a rape scene to try and be more ‘edgy’.” said Fluttershy, standing up and counting down on her fingers.

“Yeah, but ‘Star Trek V’ had a bad writer and director too,” said Rainbow Dash, who was starting to get riled up again, “and his name was William Shatner! That movie was nothing more than Shatner glorifying his own character, while pushing everyone else down to make himself look better. People who aren’t even fans know of how bad it was, and it almost killed the franchise!”

“There’s the key word:” said Fluttershy, and everyone noticed she was starting to sound annoyed, and a little bit angry too as she faced Rainbow Dash, “it ALMOST killed the franchise. ‘Nemesis’ actually did!”

“Well, at least ‘Nemesis’ didn’t have triple-breasted cat dancers!”

“Well, at least ‘Star Trek V’ didn’t have Janeway making a cameo!”

“Alrigh’ then!” said Applejack, pushing her way in-between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, as she could see the look on Rainbow’s face that she was about to start a serious fight, “Seriously off topic! Look Rarity,” she said turning to Rarity, “If ya wan’ ta like ‘Queen’ then no one is gonna stop or judge ya for it. Everyone likes something ya woundn’ expect them ta, but hey, as long as ya happy. Ya think ya can do that?”

Rarity looked up at her friend and smiled. “I’ll try.” she said finally.

“Alrighty!” said Pinkie Pie, suddenly, “Well come on then! We’ve got half an hour left for lunch, let’s hurry back before there’s nothing left.” Rarity got up from the stool, feeling more confident and followed her friends out of the music hall; Rainbow Dash and Futtershy continued to argue.

Author's Note

Yes, I made Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy 'Star Trek' fans. I could have written an entire chapter on this argument alone.

Sorry this took so long. Had to finish university, and then a week of performing panto for 15 shows, but thank you for being so patient.

Merry Christmas.