Humans to victory

by GodotsVisorShades

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1015

Equestria and it's many failed attempts at taking on Humans.

Are you sick of Humans getting their ass kicked by Celestia and her sinister shits (AKA The main 6)? Are you tired of seeing ponies winning wars or battles in some of the most illogical ways possible? Well don't look no further as you come to the right place. This story or stories requires some of your ideas so if you have any suggestions PM me and I'll try to make the ideas work. Ideas can range from important battles or important strategic moves or even alliances it doesn't matter. If this gets popular I might try at writing my own story about a Human who starts off taking over a diamond dog mine and goes on to create an empire. Cheerio.

Published 2014-11-24 23:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-25 04:19:48 UTC

Failed Attempt Number 1

Celestia stood, gazing out of her window looking at the once proud city of Canterlot now a flaming blaze and rubble sowed through every building standing. She looked further out and saw the remains of Ponyville and the Everfree forest or should she say lack of remains as a huge crater filled where Ponyville once stood and black scarred trees littered the Everfree forest. She looked up into the sky and saw several black metal birds fly over the gates Canterlot.

"It's funny" Celestia nervously giggled. "As everything falls around me the only thing left standing are the golden gates of Canterlot that once showed hope to my little ponies; that once held mystique; that once held promise." She took in a large breath and sighed loudly. "Is now no more than an annoyance to my enemies." She took a quick glance back at the buildings and winced. "And the dilapidated buildings of what was once grand structures of architect that housed hundreds is left shredded and scattered across my city." She looked down in thought ideas and memory's flashing millions of miles per second on how she could have offered peace instead of violence. How instead of invading the city of Paris she would offered friendship. The thoughts of her students dying face only to be replaced by her sisters and then guilt. Her emotions went wild and an uncontrollable anger filled her before being diminished by tears. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of fighting and screams coming from behind the throne room door. Celestia trotted over towards her throne and sat down quietly her heart beating inside her throat making her feel queasy and dizzy.

Celestia wiped her eyes and looked towards the throne room door. The sound of death filled the castle, the sound of her little ponies dying. She could hear some of them pleading for their lives stating that they had families to protect. She heard one of themshe spat venomously respond "So do I yet you didn't seem to care when you were slaughtering us in the beginning." The sound of screaming and bangs stopped and went eerily quiet.

Celestia silently screamed as her throne room door was violently pushed open by 4 apes walking on two legs.

"Honey I'm home." The creature locked eyes with Celestias full of hate and maliciousness. The ape creatures walked into the throne room stopping 30 or so inches away from Celestia. "Hi Celestia did ya miss me?" The ape like being asked.

"Jack." Celestia nodded in politeness with a slight hint of fear. She had first met him in the battle for the English channel, her boats were vastly inferior to the English navy. The English had quick nimble and incredible strong steel ships, not even Celestia's finest cannons could put a dint in the ships. The only reason she got that far was because her attack was not predicted as they didn't know about her presence yet. In the battle Celestia watched as one ship under English control flanked her ships and destroyed them in less than a minute with a barrage of missiles and gunfire. Over 100 ships under the Equestrian flag were destroyed and she watched as one man popped out from one of the steel doors leading to the commander room and waved at her before shouting . She had met Jack several times after that in the battle for New Prance, The Conquest of Manehatten and the annihilation of Cloudsdale and Boltamare.

Jack smiled knowingly towards Celestia. "So this is how it's going to go down Celestia, because of your unprovoked genocide against the people of France and the cost of trillions of pounds worth done to the people of France as well; we as the representative of the newly united Human federation hereby sentence you to death and your name be forever shunned by future generations. Any questions?"

"P... please I... I was only d... doing what was best f... for my little p... ponies. Please stop this sensele... Celestia was cut off as Jack interrupted her pleading.

"ehhh ehhh Wrong Celestia! That's not a question silly that sounds like a hypocrite pleading for her life. Anyway it doesn't matter now Celestia what's done is done and you done goofed Celestia." Jack took a step towards Celestia forcing Celestia off her throne and taking several steps back. "YOU... another step DONE... another step gaining the short distance Celestia had made when she retreated towards the wall behind the throne GOOFED." Jack whipped out his .45 ACP. Celestia used her magic to summon her sword which was quickly deflected away from her by one of the other humans shooting at the sword and clattered to the ground in front of Jack.

Jack stepped over the sword and pressed the muzzle of the gun against Celestia's head inflicting a sob from Celestia.

"Bang!" whispered Jack in Celestia's ear forcing Celestia to close her eyes tight. She opened them again to the sound of Jack and the other Humans laughing.

"Oh Celestia your just to easy to scare." He said staring intensely at Celestia.

Hope grew in Celestia "Maybe I wont die, maybe he will let me live." thought Celestia. This thought was quickly dashed and set ablaze when Jack picked up Celestia's sword.

"A bullet is too good for you and anyway I don't want to waste my ammo." He stated in a matter of factly tone.

Celestia's eyes widened as Jack held the sword and held it above Celestia's head.

"I'm thinking of a more conventional means of disposing of you" Jack quickly slashed downwards towards Celestia's head.

"Wait sto... Celestia was interrupted by the sword slashing through her neck decapitating her allowing her body to slump to the side and her head to roll towards Jacks foot.

He picked up her head and called the chain of command signifying the end of the war between Humans and Ponies. With Celestia's head and sword in hand he walked out of the throne room and was teleported back to Earth.

Failed Attempt 2 Vae Victis

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