Chapters Memories of Joe the Unicorn
I woke in a hole. The hole was more like a crater, but nothing exploded. Well, I thought that nothing exploded. There were no signs of explosions. I could not remember how I came to be there. I climbed out of the hole and as I did, I heard the clip-clop of hooves. I dismissed this as “in my head.” I was in the middle of a forest. A pond was nearby.
“EEP!” came a voice from behind. I turned to see a mini horse, but this one was very colorful. It was light pink with green mane. It ran off so fast I wasn’t sure i actually saw it. I stood there with a blank expression for about five minutes, contemplating what I had seen. I then came to the conclusion that I had probably hit my head. HARD.
“Get a hold of yourself, Joe.” I shook my head. “This is all a bad dream. Or…” I thought how to console myself. “I’m just tired. Yeah! Maybe I stayed up REALLY late, and now I’m having hallucinations.” I laid down in the sand and closed my eyes. I heard more clip clops. I opened my eyes again, sitting up.
“HALT!” came a gruff voice from behind me. I turned to see another mini horse with golden armor. His flank had a tattoo of a shield. He was white and had wings; there was another with wings and a black colored one with a horn but no wings (All with the same armor and shield tattoo). I stared at them in a mix of terror and fascination.
“Get him,” ordered one of the winged ones. The horned one’s horn started to glow a wavering glow that was turquoise. The same glow formed around me. A winged one walked up to me raised its hoof and BAM! Popped me in the face. I blacked out.
I woke, again to confusion. My vision was blurry and hearing was muffled. I could make out a female voice saying: “You didn't need to knock it out!”
“Uhhhhhhh…” I groaned, getting up.
“It’s AWAKE!” screamed a voice. I heard more clip clops and a door slam. I heard more slow clip clops coming closer, and closer.
“I didn't dream that, did I?” I asked.
“No,” came the female voice again. “Get back, Sundrop,” the voice said.
“But, what is it?” asked a small voice from so close I sat up with a start. I heard a loud clop about a hop away from the little voice. I turned to see another one of the mini horses. This one was smaller than the others. It was yellow with an orange mane. It also had a horn and wings. And it was only 10 feet away.
“Aww, man!” I said falling to my back.
“What’s wrong?” asked the thing next to me.
“Well… I was hoping that this was just a dream,” I replied. “I mean this type of stuff only happens in stories… or movies…”
“What?” Asked the thing.
“Never mind… Hey, what’s your name?” I asked.
“Sundrop,” she said. “And you are…?” she asked. I was about to reply, when the female voice from before spoke up.
“I think it’s time to start,” a voice said. I looked to where the voice was coming from to see another one (of the horses I mean). It was larger than the others (may have been a real horse), except it had a long horn AND huge wings to fit her body. Her coat was white and her legs and midsection were very slender. She wore a tiara. Her main and tail were rainbow colored but looked more see-through than solid, and it was flowing; I mean LITERALLY flowing, like there was wind around it.
“Wow,” I said.
“Tell me, do you know where you are right now?” she asked, with a hint of concern in her voice.
“Actually, I have no idea.” I answered. “But I would like to go-” I was cut off by a tingling sensation crawling over my body. “-home. If you could help me?” I asked. I noticed her horn was glowing the same way the guards were, only hers was glowing yellow. The way I was sitting began to feel uncomfortable, so I moved to a more comfortable position (which was cris cross). I noticed the guards from before were in the room and staring at me, so was Sundrop.
"There is no way to send you home," she said, "BUT," she continued, "I can help you live here..." This made me nervous. What did she mean? Her horn stopped glowing. The tingling feeling stopped. I knew she had done something but knew not what. My hands (not to mention all over, for that matter) felt weird. I looked down and let out a shriek of terror and surprise to find that I had no hands! I found HOOVES!! I was red, for all that I could tell. I ran to find a mirror. One was placed behind me. I looked in to see that in my reflection was a brown colored mane with an equally colored tail. I had a red coat. I also had a horn. From what I could tell I had not aged in the transformation.
“Wha- wha-” I stuttered, trying to find the right words to express my feelings. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!?” I finally shouted.
“Well I allowed you to stay, and NOT be a freak show. Here, let me…” she began. Her horn glowed again. My brain began to grow fuzzy. New knowledge began to fill my mind.
“NO!!!” I cried with fear that I might lose my own memories. I started muttering who i was, my friends, my parents, my family, this caused the big one to tilt her head.
"What are you doing?" She asked obviously confused.
"YOU'RE NOT ERASING MY MIND!" I screamed. I'm a huge nerd. She mouthed "ooooooooh."
“Don’t worry. These are all the pony things you will need to know at your age,” said the princess… Princess Celestia. The knowledge about her filled my brain. Even some about Sundrop (who was 8 and next in line for the throne).
“Wait. I’m a… pony?” I asked, confused. I began to fell more at ease.
“Well… yeah…” replied Sundrop. “What else would you be?” She giggled. Then I had to giggle too. It was so obvious.
“Can we go to the park? I need to get him used to his hooves.” asked Sundrop. This actually sounded fun, which was weird because it shouldn't at the moment. Something felt off. Apart from the whole "being a pony" thing. I felt... like I had regained some innocence. Most of the fear was replaced with childlike wonder.
"Did you do anything else, besides turning me into a pony?" I asked.
"Yes." Celestia nodded. "Ponies become independent at around 16, and you are no where near ready. I have regressed your age by 5 years."
"Wait..." I did the math. "So... I'm 8 years old?!?!" I screamed. My mouth dropped open as I felt a piece of my die inside. Sundrop looked at my face and laughed.
"This is funny and all..." She said calming down and wiping a tear from her eye. "But anyway, what about that park visit?"
“Oh. Right." Celestia remembered. "Well, first we need to find arrangements for…” she wanted me to answer my name.
“Oh. Joe. My name is Joe.” I said. The two eyed me. “What?” I asked.
“Nothing…” said Sundrop. “Soooo, park?”
“Sure,” said Celestia.
“Great! Come on Joe!” Sundrop cried, grabbing and pulling me (how do hooves work?) out of the throne room… and into my new life.
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
“So, this is a book of spells?” Joe asked.
“Yes. Don’t they have magic where you come from?” asked Sundrop.
“Well, no. We have tricks. You know, illusions and such. Like sleight of han- I mean sleigh of hooves.” Joe giggled at his pun. “ANYWAY. This book will teach me magic?” Joe reiterated, looking over the textbook. It was titled “Spells for Beginners.” It looked like a normal book.
“No, it won’t teach you. But it will help you learn. It has every basic spell a young unicorn must know,” replied Sundrop with a hint of pride in her voice. “Written by my mom.” Joe flipped through the book. There was a chapter on focusing magic, casting magic, and practical applications of magic.
“So, all I need to learn about magic is in here,” Joe said, pointing at the book.
“Oh, for the last time - YES!” cried the yellow alicorn. “It has spells and how to use your magic. Now go to the library and read,” Sundrop said, levitating him out the door. Then the doors slammed shut behind him. He got up and went off to the library to study.
Meanwhile, Sundrop was wandering the palace. She was in obvious glee. More like she was in love.
Meanwhile in the Library…
“So, like this?” Joe asked himself, trying to turn the page. He focused. A spark zapped around his horn. The aura flickered around his horn. It flickered on. It was a bronze. It formed around the page, which lifted halfway. Joe opened his eyes to see it.
“Yes!” he quietly exclaimed. The page fell down.
“No!” He looked at the page. He felt the strength to try one more time. He focused. The page flipped. I GOT IT! he shouted in his head. He quietly let out a “WOO HOO!” He looked out the window - it was getting dark. He closed his book, put it in his saddle bag and walked back to the palace.
Soon he reached Sundrop’s room. He knocked on the door.
“Come in!” called Sundrop’s voice. Joe opened the door. As he entered, he saw the princess sitting next to Sundrop.
“Hello Princess,” said Joe, bowing his head.
“You don’t need to do that,” said Sundrop.
“I would prefer to,” said Joe. “It’s more polite to bow to royalty.”
“Then maybe you should bow to me.” Sundrop giggeled
“Well, okay then. Next time I walk into a room with you in it, or you walk into a room with me in it, then I’ll bow.”
“Then walk out and walk back in.”
“What?”
“Go on. I want you to bow to me.”
“Okay.” Joe walked out of the room and entered again. This time he bowed.
“Thank you, subject.” said Sundrop in a snooty voice. She then giggled.
“Sounds like you had a day. Here, have this -” The princess levitated a book, bottle of ink, and a quill to Joe.
“What’s this for?” Joe asked, eyeing the gifts.
“These are to record your experiences of you life here in Equestria. Will you write things like this down for me?” Celestia asked.
“Okay, I’ll help. And plus, this might come in handy,” said Joe, accepting the gifts.
“Now it’s time to take you to your new home in Ponyville.”
“Wait, that’s not this city?” Joe asked.
“It’s temporary. We will set up more suitable arrangements while you stay there. You will be staying in the library with Twilight Sparkle.”
JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 1, Wednesday
I am Joe. I am a human. And now I live here in Equestria. This journal will record the events of my day-to-day life here. I have begun learning magic and will keep studying. My first friend here is Sundrop. I will have to cope to this new pony lifestyle. It won’t be that hard… I hope. Well here’s the story from my perspective of how this started
Author's Note
Ok, more info. The larger, bold, sections are Joe's journal entries. Also I'm gonna take a few chapters to set up Joe's new life in reasonable amounts. Don't worry, by chapter 6 things will get interesting and move along. PLEASE STAY WITH ME! I promise it will be good!
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
Author's Note
Ok, this one is going to be a little longer than others. There isn't any good spot to cut off. Sorry. Also if you thought there would be one journal entry a chapter: you're sorta right. There will be minimum of one entry a chapter. It is more part of the plot then a friendship letter sort of thing. I'm not gonna say "plot devise" because that sounds too negative. But anyway, let's get on with it!
[4] Books
“Well, I guess this is goodbye...”
“I guess it is.” It was time for Joe to take his new home in Ponyville. They were both a little sad at his departure.
“Does he have to go?” asked Sundrop to Celestia.
"Yes," was her reply. "Good luck Joe!" she said as Joe boarded the carriage to Ponyville.
"Bye Joe!" called Sundrop, flying after him. But the carriage was far too fast for her to keep up. Soon the carriage was out of sight.
After a 30 minute flight, the carriage arrived on the outskirts of the town.
“Thanks,” said Joe, sadly, to the pegasi who were flying the carriage. They neighed in response, then flew off. He realized that he had landed right next to the library. He knocked on the door to the tree. It slowly creaked open. He entered. It was dark inside.
“Hello? Is anypony there?” Joe asked into the dark library. He could barely see. The door closed behind him.
“SURPRISE!” The lights flicked on, and in that instant tons of ponies jumped out and yelled at him. Startled, Joe’s front hooves jumped off the ground.
“WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!” cried a pony with a hot pink coat, a darker pink poofy mane and tail, and balloons for her cutimark. “I’m Pinkie Pie! I sense you're going to be living here and all, I think you must have been lonely. So now you have lots and lots of friends!” Cried The Pink Pony.
“Thank you. I havent had a surprise party before. Thank you.” Joe said.
“Ah so you must be “Joe”.” Joe turned to see a purple pony with dark purple mane with streaks of dark pink running threw it. from her mane came a horn. on her sides winges. Her cutie mark was a bunch of sparkles.
“Hello.” said Joe.
“Hello. I’m Twilight Sparkle. You’l be staying here in the library with me.” She said.
“Great. I love to read. It’s one of my favorite hobbies.” ‘My other hobbies i don't think i can do any more’. Joe thought.
“Another egg head like you Twilight.” Came another voice from behind. He turned again to see a pegasus that was bright blue and had rainbow tail and mane. She had a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt coming from it for her cutie mark.
“Rainbow. Reading does not make you an egg head.” Twilight said to the pegasus.
“And also,” Said another voice in a country accent. “Remember: Daring Doo.” Said a bright orange pony with a blond mane and tail (with a braid) with apples as her cutie mark. The orange one and Twilight laughed.
"Welcome to Ponyville Joe. I'm Apple Jack!" She said in an inviting tone extending her left hoof. Joe accepted and shook it. They partied until sunset. Before the party ended Joe was introduced to a unicorn named Rarity. She was white and had a similar color mane to Twilight's. He also met a shy pegasus named Fluttershy. She had a yellow coat and pink tail and mane. Over all she was really polite and really timid. But once she knew you she was very talkative (but not too much). Apparently they have some form of magic weapons. They were necklaces except for Twilight’s. Hers was a crown. When the party was over and everyone left. Pinkie Pie opened a bag and it was like the party never happened.
“Wooow.” Said Joe.
“That’s how i clean up my parties. Well bye!” Said Pinkie Pie bouncing out the door.
“(Yawn)” Twilight yawned. “Well it’s time to go to bed Joe. Joe. That’s a funny name.”
“It’s really common where I come from.” Said Joe.
“Where do you come from?” asked Twilight.
‘She doesn't know?’ Joe thought to himself.
“I’m from... A-MARE-ica.” Said Joe putting infacince on MARE. “It’s a new colony.” Lied Joe.
“Oh. So THAT’S why i've never heard of it.” Replied Twilight. “Let’s bring out the extra bed.” Said Twilight running up the stairs.
“Twilight! I’m back!” Said a small slightly shrill male voice coming from the door. Joe turned to see a small dragon standing in the doorway. The dragon was a purplish pink with green spines running from the top of his head down his back and to his tail.
“DRAGON!” Cried Joe running up the stairs. “Twilight! Twilight! There's a DRAGON!” The little dragon walked up the stairs.
“Oh him? He’s my assistant: Spike.” Said Twilight as calm as could be.
“WOW ! You have a pet dragon?!? THAT IS SO COOL!” said Joe. “Is there a spell that controls dragon mindes? or do you have him trapped in some sort of scroll? Or does he owe you some eternal debt?” Joe asked. Spike (a little bit annoyed) replied to this:
“Actually she is my friend. I’ve been her assistant my entire life!” Said Spike a little proud of himself.
“Sooo you were born a slave?” Joked Joe.
“NO!” Said Spike his cheeks turning red. “I. Do it. Because. She. Is. My. FRIEND!” Cried Spike.
“I know. I was joking with you.” Said Joe. The three inhabitants of the tree laughed a bit. Joe turned to see a queen size bed across the room from a another queen size bed. There was also a dog bed on the floor.
“Night.” said Twilight turning off the light.
“Night!” the other boys said getting in there beds. Joe closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
It was pitch black. Joe sat up. He looked around. He could not see. He felt his hands in a fist he tried to unclench them. Then he realised that his hands where hooves like they where before he went to sleep. He was a pony now. And he would never see his family again. As he realised this, he felt a tear well up in his eye. He got out of bed and walked onto the balcony. He looked at the full moon and almost heard his mom crying out his name. He knew this was in his head. He felt a tear run down his new pony face. It fell off and hit the floor.
“Hey Joe. What’s wrong?” asked Spike. Joe turned around. Spike could see that he had been crying.
“It’s just that i’ll never see my family again.”
“Why?”
“You’d never believe me.” Joe said a little sad.
“I’m sure i would.” said Spike.
“I’m positive you wouldn't.” Joe responded
“Try me.” Spike said a little proudly. Joe looked down away from spike. “Alright, you don’t have to tell me. But have you ever seen your friends all become the exact opposite of themselves? Seen your friends shrink, change voice, have their horn flop over, hair grow huge, tongue too big for her mouth, or lose all ability to move without falling over? Or have you been transported to another world completely different from your own and turned into something you're normally not?” Spike asked.
“Actually, yes to the last one.” Joe replied. “Wait… can you tell me the story?” Joe asked with a small sliver of hope growing inside him.
“Only when you tell me why you’ll never see your family again.” said Spike. “But not tonight though,” Spike yawned. “We should go to sleep.” Spike then walked back inside. Joe looked up at the moon.
“I’m gonna come home mom.” He said as though she could hear him.
JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 5, Monday
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
[5] the Bell tolls for school
JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 12, Monday
“Are you sure I should go?” asked Joe. He was really nervous about going to school. He had been around over a week but hadn’t done anything other then look for a way back, practise magic, and try to get Spike to spill. Twilight wanted Joe out of the library to go make some friends.
“Believe me, I know what it’s like to get wrapped up in studying or a book, but you need to go and make friends.” Twilight advised.
“Alright.” Joe then began his walk to the school. On his way he looked in his saddle bag. He had his quill, his ink, his paper, and his lunch.
“Yep. I’ve got every thing.” Joe said, half hoping he would have forgotten something and he could go back and grab it. Joe passed Sugar Cube corner, the sofa and quill shop, the post office and other shops. Soon he reached the School. He noticed more and more fillies were apparent the closer he got to the school. When he got there he saw a group of three fillies standing in the schoolyard, a unicorn, a pegasus, and earth pony.
“Oh hi!” the Earth pony said. The earth pony had a short mane and tail (which was red), and a yellow coat. The Unicorn was white, with the same sorta’ mane as the earth, only hers was a dark pink, or light purple. The pegasus was orange with a darker purple mane with really tiny wings. He noticed they were all lacking in cutie marks, like he. One of them (the pegasus) noticed him.
“Oh hi!” She said. “You the new pony in town?”
“Yes. That’s me…” Joe said.
“Oh oh!” The unicorn started stuttering. “Your a blank-flank! Your a perfect candidate for-” She was silenced by the earth pony by her putting her hoof in the unicorns mouth.
“Well tell ya later. Any way, I’m apple bloom, Apple Jacks little sister.”
“I’m Sweetie bell,” The unicorn said. “Rarities sister.”
“And I am Scootaloo,” the pegasus said. “Rainbow Dashs sister.”
“Only in your mind.” Apple Bloom smirked. “She’s not really her sister, she just wishes she was.”
“Any way… what’s your name?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Joe… my name is Joe.” He stammered. He was actually really shy in this sort of setting.
“So now that we know each other, I think we should-” Sweetie bell was interrupted.
“Well well!” A very snooty and brat sounding voice interrupted. “If it isn’t, you. Oh and is this another blank flank?” Joe turned to see a pink furred pony with a small silver tiara on her head, one matching her cutie mark. She was accompanied by another (albeit less snooty brat sounding) grey pony with glasses and a silver spoon cutie mark. Joe took a second to register what was going on. He had heard that term: blank flank, before. But he didn’t know what it meant.
“What?” He asked.
“You heard me: Blank flank!” She mocked.
“What?” He again repeated. His face flashed with realization. He then proceeded to fall to the floor, bursting into laughter.
“What is so funny?” She asked annoyed.
“Let me guess, your the bullies here?” He asked still laughing. “Yeah! Oh that’s too good! Your rich too!” He then laughed even harder. “How much more cliche’ does it get! We’ve got the rich snooty bulie!” He sighed and got to his feet. “I’m sorry but if you want to get to me, then you’ve gotta do better than that. Oh I’m sorry! Before you get any ideas any insult loses all weight if you have to PAY somepony to do it. Of course that must come natural to you. I bet you can’t do ANYTHING yourself.” He said very confidently.
“Excuse me?!?” She said shocked. “Do you KNOW who my dad is? He’ll-”
“What? Fire my parents? Or, I know! Or maybe he’ll get your butler to come and slap me like the scum I am.” Joe mimicked a british accent for the last line. “I know your type. And I feel bad that your special ‘talent’ is being a brat. And your friend here proves it! I bet besides her, you have NO ACTUAL friends! I bet you just pay them. The only thing i don’t get is why your words hold any weight at all? It’s obvious no one likes you, ruling out popularity, And judging by how you threw your dad in as a pawn means that he must do EVERYTHING for you. I bet if he went broke then you would not last a week. Any longer would be impossible! So, You're a unicorn with no magic, no friends, and no skills. So why, do you, think that you, can boss us around? I just don’t get it.” The bully was speechless.
“Come on silver spoon. We’re too good for him.” The Bully started to walk away, but stopped realising that her companion was staring in awe at Joe, along with literally EVERY onlooker.
“SILVER SPOON!” She called angrily. Silver spoon did as told, but still looked amazed and non-comprehending. Joe grinned at how he took the bully down a peg, on his FIRST DAY without raising a fist, or hoof.
“That was…” Scootaloo started. “AWESOME!!!!” How did you know that? How did you do that? and Wow your amazing! came at Joe from all sides. He was a hero. Suddenly the bell began to ring. All the Fillies began to walk inside. Joe was among them. The three friends he met, sat down together, and he sat ahead of them.
“So we’re friends now?” Joe asked extending a hoof for a good shake. All three of them grabbed and replied in the affirmative. He sat forward as the teacher walked in.
“Hello students!” SHe called happily.
“Hi ms. Cheerily!” The class responded.
“Now as you may know, We have a new student today. Come on up.” She said looking at Joe. Joe nodded and walked to the front of the room. As he turned to face the class the room erupted in cheers. Joe bowed humbly. He was sure he heard “I knew he was new.” some where in the back of the class. “This is Joe. Say hi to Joe!” She commanded.
“HI Joe!” The class said.
“Now why don’t you tell us about yourself?” Cheerily asked. Joe nodded and responded.
“Hi I’m Joe, and I’m from Amareica. It’s a colony.” Joe explained. He technically DIDN’T lie. America was a colony. He was from it.
“Well I’m ms Cheerily. Do you have a place to sit?” The Teacher asked. Joe nodded. He walked to his seat and sat down. The rest of the day was uneventful. He learned more about his new world, and made three friends. Soon the bell rang and class was over.
“OK class! Remember your spelling words are due monday! Have a great weekend!” The Teacher called to her class as they walked home. As Joe was about to leave the yard he was stopped, by his new friends.
“Hey! We have a surprise for you! Ya’ wana see it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Sure! But I need to tell Twilight first.” Joe said.
“We can make a detour to the library on our way. We just need to use my scooter.” Scootaloo said putting on a bike helmet waking to a four wheeled scooter. The scooter was connected to a wagon, that could easily hold 2 fillies and 1 full grown pony, there was plenty of room.
One scooter ride through town and a blindfolded ride later…
“Can I take this off now?” Joe asked.
“No not yet!” Sweetie bell giggled. Joe was guessing he was in one of their rooms. But he was wrong.
“Ok! Open em’ now!” The three said at once. Joe was greeted to the sight of a wood clubhouse. It was a long room with a small carpet in the center, a round table closer to the corner, and a large podium at the back. Each wall had to windows on it (except the back wall), even the wall with the door had windows. The back of the room had a podium. of to the side was a small circle with a lightbulb above it. Joe looked confused.
“What’s that circle for?” He asked.
“Oh, that’s the spot where we come up with great ideas.” Apple Bloom said.
“So… you devoted a whole patch of space… to coming up with ideas?” Joe asked. “I like it. It’s a good idea to have one spot to come up with ideas. You get more inspiration if you think in one spot, rather than all over the room. I think it helps organization.” Joe said admiring it.
“Well, actually…” Sweetie bell said blushing slightly. “We didn’t do that. We just happen to come up with great ideas there.”
‘It’s just a superstitious thing then.’ Joe thought sadly.
“Anyways let’s get down to business.” Sweetie Bell said coughing. “We invited you here to ask you to join our club.”
“Club?” Joe asked interested. The three in the club looked at each other, and in sync said:
“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” They shouted very loudly.
“You want in?” Scootaloo asked.
JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 12, Monday , continued
Author's Note
Ok, his life is set up! Now the REAL story can begin.
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
Joe woke up, he was really groggy.
"God, I'm tired." He said as he walked to the bathroom, like every other day. Today was Saturday, so Joe was probably going to crusade with his friends today. That was what they planned. Some one knocked on the door. It was probably Lyra. She came around asking for books, Spike had told him. Joe put some water in his mouth and began to swish.
"Hello Spike!" Came the voice of (presumably) Lyra. Joe began to gargle. This was an unfortunate choice. "I was wondering if Twilight had any books on humans." Joe started choking on the water. He ended up spitting all the water on the mirror.
"Oh yeah. Twilight told me to give you these." Spike said.
"Thanks Spike!" Lyra said as Joe finished coughing and tried to leave the bathroom, but he ended up tripping over his own hooves.
"Stupid hooves!" Joe said still trying to get up.
"Buy!" 'Lyra' said, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing. Joe had finally opened the door and tried to go down the stairs. He soon finally made it down stairs panting.
"Who... was that?" Joe asked panting deeply.
"Oh, that was that Lyra I told you about." Spike said. "She just left." Joe sighed. He raced out the door and looked around outside. There was a huge crowd outside, and he relised that he didn't even know what Lyra looked like. Joe lowered his head, and walked back int the library.
Mean While, in Canterlot...
"Oh, hi." Sundrop said as she entered the room.
"Hello, my dear." Celestia replied, taking a seat next to Sundrop. "Why so glum? Dawn is your favorite time of day." Celestia asked.
"Well, It's just Joe. It was kind a' nice, haven' a friend my age to hang out with." Sundrop said. Clestia looked out from the window, her eyes landing on ponyville. Her face showing an expression of great fear, no... worry. Sundrop looked down. In that moment she knew:
"Something big is coming."
JOURNAL Day 18, Saturday
Joe was walking around town, looking for Lyra's house.
"It's got to be here somewhere." he said, frustrated. He knew what she looked like now: a teal coat, a sky blue main and tail with one white stripe running through them. Her cutiemark, was obviously a lyer. She really stood out in a crowd. He twirled around, looking for the collars. 'Where is she?'
"OOF!" Joe bumped into somepony.
"Sorry." came a familiar female voice. Joe noticed who he bumped into.
"Are you, Lyra Heartstrings?" Joe asked. He was right.
"Yes I am. What's your name?" Lyra asked back.
"I'm Joe, I'm staying with Twilight." Joe explained. "You came today, asking about humans ?" Joe put emphasis on the word humans. Lyra's face lit up.
"What do you know about, humans?" She whispered excitedly in his ear.
"That's what I came to ask you." Joe replied calmly and coolly.
"Hmm... Touche." Lyra said, slowly nodding. After a moment, she responded. "Alright. I'll show you. Come on." Lyra nodded towards a 2 story building, and started walking towards it. Lyra opened the door and they stepped in. It was a nice, common house. It had a hallway that led to the living room, the kitchen, a closed room, and a staircase. The walls were bare, containing only a few pictures of Lyra, and one other pony. The sounds of cooking came from the kitchen.
"Oh, that's my room mate, Bon bon." Lyra said. The cooking sounds lowered their volume.
"Lyra? Is that you?" came a female voice from the kitchen. "Who are you talking to?"
"Oh, someone staying with Twilight. He came asking about humans." Lyra called. At the word humans, some clatter came from the kitchen. A white pony with with a dark blue main and tail (with a stripe of dull pink running through it) they ended in curls. Her cutie make was three pieces of candy. Her collars reminded Joe a LOT of candy. She slowly left the kitchen. She noticed Joe and raced up to Lyra, eyes bulging.
"Your not going to show him... the..." Bon bon shuttered. "hands... are you? You'll scare him for life!" Bon bon screamed at Lyra.
"They weren't that bad..." Lyra muttered. "Fine. I won't show him..." Lyra said in the way a little filly does. Bon bon walked back into the kitchen. The sounds that stopped started back up again. Joe looked at Lyra, questioningly.
"Hands?" He asked.
"Do you know what humans look like?" Lyra asked as she walked towards the closed door.
"Yes." Joe said following her. "I know what humans look like."
"Well, I cast a spell to turn my hooves into hands." Lyra said. Joe immediately replied.
"Can you cast that spell on me?" He asked a little to keenly.
"Sorry," Lyra said. "I promised that I wouldn't do that again." This statement was followed by an exasperated "Thank Celestia!" from the kitchen. Joe and Lyra walked threw the door. The door led to a library, filled with books and other things of the such.
"This is the study. Where I do my research on humans." Lyra said.
"How do you research humans?" Joe asked. "They don't live in equestria." Lyra's ears perked up.
"What?" She asked. "You know where humans , live?" Lyra asked.
"Well..." Joe caughed. "I never said that ..."
"You do ! You know where the humans are !" Lyra said bouncing around the room. She stopped. "Where are they? How do you get there? What are you? Are they nice?" Lyra asked in rapid sucsession. "Ooo! Tell me! Tell me! TELL ME!" Lyra shoved her face in Joe's, with wide childlike eyes and a grin so big it could rival pinkie pie's.
"Whoa whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Joe said, scooting back. "To be honest, I don't know. I came here to see what you knew." Joe admitted. Lyra's face fell.
"Oh." Lyra said, less exited. "But, why do you believe me?" Lyra's disposition returned to how she was before she got all exited.
"Well that's because I am , a human." Joe said, attempting to sound mysterious. In that moment, if you listened carefully, you could here the sound of Lyra braking. Lyra fell over, her eyes blank. "Lyra!" Joe shouted rushing to her side. He listened for her heart beet, her herd it. Joe stood back up.
"I think I broke her."
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
JOURNAL: Day 19, Sunday (morning)
Joe closed the book with his nose. He then levitated the book into his saddle bag, and put it on. Joe then raced out the door.
"19... 20... 21..." Joe said as he raced down street. "Ah! 22, Baker street!" Joe knocked on the door. Stomp stomp stomp! The door suddenly burst open, and a teal hoof reached out and pulled Joe in. The door closed behind him. He was greeted by the, teal, smiling face of Lyra.
"You came!" She said. "Come on! We have so much to talk about!" Lyra said, walking to the study. The door arose the hall opened up, and a sleepy Bon bon came out.
"Lyra?" Bon bon asked, rubbing her eyes. "Who is it?"
"Oh! It's that colt from yesterday, Joe." Lyra responded.
"Hi." Joe waved quietly.
"Why is he here?" Bon bon asked. "It's 3 in the morning! How are you so up and awake?" Bon bon snapped.
"Well, I didn't sleep." Joe said.
"I couldn't Sleep." Lyra said.
"That still dosn't-" Bon bon said. "You know what? Never mind." Bon bon walked back into the room, and fell onto the bed. Lyra and Joe looked at each other, grinned, and raced into the study.
"Hey, Twilight! Do you know where Joe is?" Spike asked.
"I don't know Spike." Twilight said. "He wasn't in bed when I woke up." Twilight pondered. "He probably went out for lunch."
"You're probably right. It is noon." Spike said. As if on cue: The front door to the library swung open, and Joe walked in, with a saddle bag on.
"Don't talk to me." Joe said as Twilight drew breath to speak. "I'm to tired to have a conversation."
"How long have you been up?" Twilight asked.
"Seance 3 AM." Joe said, walking up the stairs to the living rooms. "Yesterday." Once inside, he feel onto the bed. All day, Joe and Lyra had been testing spells, perfecting the hand spell. Lyra had sadly taken the hands back before Joe left. They had also been working on theory's on how Joe had gotten to equestria, and more importantly how they could replicate it and go back. All of that had been strictly kept theoretical. To be frank: he was dog tired. He remembered he had to do his journal entry.
"Spike! Spiiiiiiiiike!" Joe called out for Spike. "Spiiiiiiiiiike!" Spike walked in.
"What is it?" Spike asked in a friendly way.
"Take a note!" Joe whined. Spike reached for a scroll. "Not with that! Use the note book in my saddle bag!"
"You got it!" Spike said. Joe cleared his thorough.
JOURNAL, DAY 19 (Noon)
"...other...wise! Got it!" Spike said. "Hey, do you mind if I ask what you were experimenting?"
"Zzzzzz." Joe snored. He was already out.
"Wow. I thought I was the heavy sleeper." Spike joked. He shook his head and walked downstairs.
Luna was sitting in her dream skape, the world of dreams. She was watching over the Dreams of her subjects. She liked this.
"Oh? What's this?" Luna noticed a subject was dreaming... and it wasn't Rainbow Dash. 'Wait... wasn't that the strange pony that Sundrop likes?' Luna realized that it was Joe the unicorn. Yes I made that joke. Any ways... Luna decided to see Luna's dream. The dream skape altered, turning into a path towards Joe's dream. Luna flew down the path, like she had done for many of her subjects, and even a few times in her exile as... her... Luna's most recent dream visit was to a young Pegasus filly, named Scootaloo. Although that had been a long time ago. Luna entered the dream. She saw Joe sitting on a cliff, looking at the night sky. He was silently crying. Luna silently stood up behind him.
"Hi princess." Joe said. Luna gasped.
"How did you know I was here?" Luna asked. "You shouldn't be able to know I'm here unless I let you!" Luna cried.
"I'm not sure." Joe sighed sadly. "And I don't really care." Luna looked it him, and went to sit down beside him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Luna asked.
"It's..." Joe sighed. "I'm never gonna see my family again." Suddenly, a human sat appeared out of no where and sat next to Joe, with the same sad disposition. He was dirty blond and had brown eyes, like Joe. His skin was slightly tan, but mostly pale. Luna suddenly realized who the human was.
"That's... you ... isn't it?" Luna asked, beginning to back away slowly. Joe nodded slowly, another tear fell off his muzzle. 'Dose Celestia know about this? Why has she not told me?' Luna's mind was bursting with questions about this. "What, else is wrong?" Luna asked.
"I'm... so... alone ..." Joe began to sob. Luna couldn't help but feel sorry for the monster. From her exile on the moon, she was able to see the humans, and all the horrors they did. There weapons... and machines of war. But... this one wasn't like that. She knew all humans couldn't be that way... but this one was so much different. More than she thought possible. Joe's head was already in his hooves, tears falling down in droves. "I... I haven't told my parents good buy yet. They don't know where I am. And they'll never know." Joe sobbed. No one needed to be psychic to tell he was being honest, and was in complete turmoil. Luna cautiously approached again.
"I was alone once to." Luna said. "... for 1,000 years." Joe looked up at Luna, his red pony face was flushed and wet with tears.
"How did you deal with it?" He asked.
"I wasn't completely alone." Luna said. "I saw you, all you humans. Running around with your silly credit cards, and high schools. Why do humans need to age to 18 years before you can stop school? And even after that you decide to keep schooling for 4 more years." Luna said exasperatedly. Joe giggled a bit. It was an awkward, not completely happy giggle. But it would still be enough to satisfy Pinkie Pie. Luna put a hoof on his "shoulder." Joe returned this with a hug, one of the sincerity of a small frightened child.
"Thank you." Joe sniffled. An 8 year old's emotions are strong aren't they? The Dream Scape began to fade.
"No... there needs to be more energy here... and less here..." Lyra was working on the spell in her study. Designing a spell is pretty much like making blue prints for a building, with a few added incantations, and magic. The door suddenly opened. Joe walked inside. "Oh, hi Joe! Is it tomorrow already?" Lyra asked.
"No." Joe responded. "It's 4 pm. Last time I checked. I just wanted to come back and help finish." Joe looked at Lyra, and looked confused. "Diiiid you rest up?" He asked, drawing out the "I."
"Rest? I don't need to rest. I'm almost done." Lyra said. Joe walked up to the chalk board with the spell diagram on it.
"Ummm..." Joe frowned "Why is the permutatio aspect in the arcane core not higher?" Joe asked. "The alienis aspect should be removed compleatly and the potentia should be higher as well. Also some potentia should be in the arcane field, along with more precantio. Add some humanus around here..." He swirled his hoof around the center of the diagram. "And with the permutatio in the affect tendrels, to help make sure the spell makes us human, and not some dragon or breezy." Joe said. "You should take nap before you do any more." Lyra nodded, and fell over. Passing out. (Hey! Joe wasn't the one to pass out this time!) Joe's horn glowed it's bronze glow, the same glow formed around Lyra, and she floated out of the study, up the stairs, and onto her bed. Joe followed up, making sure he did what he meant to. He immediately left, having a new idea on the spell.
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
[8] The Haman-i-facation Spell
"AAAAAAAAH!!!!!" Lyra woke with a start to the sound of Bon bon screaming. Lyra ran down stairs. Lyra was standing in the hall, shaking more than the earth's crust dose during an earth quake.
"Bon bon! What's wrong?" Lyra walked to her friend.
"L-Lyra?" Bon bon stuttered. "Th-that's... not you!?!" Bon bon ran out of the front door, screaming with sheer, mortal terror, like she had seen Nightmare Moon herself. Lyra looked into the study, and saw what had terrified her room mate so much. It was a... strange monster. A some sort of pony human mash up. It had human feet, on pony legs! A pony torso, pony neck and hooves, and pony ears. All the pony parts were a red. But it also had a human's head and face (with a pony tongue sticking out), human arms and shoulders, and a human waist! It had covered the waist in a cloth for some reason. It's bronze eyes weren't pony, but not completely human ether. To top it off (quite literally): it had a red unicorn horn! But the eyes... she was continuously drawn back to the eyes. They were so familiar. It tried to say something, but the tong flopped around uselessly, because it was to big for the human mouth it was placed in. It reminded Lyra of the day a couple months back when Zecora came to town, Twilight and her friends went to investigate, and they woke up the next mourning cursed! Pinkie's curse was a tongue to big for her mouth, resulting in speech similar to this creature. It pointed a hoof at a note on the table. Lyra walked over to the note, and levitated it up to her face. The note read:
Dear Reader,
"Joe?" Lyra asked. "Is that you?" The creature responded with a violent nodding of the head. "What happened to you?" Joe pointed to the chalk board with the spell diagram. "You cast the spell?" Lyra asked. Joe nodded. BAM! The front door slammed open.
"Allright! Where is it? Show your self!" Shouted the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash.
"The last time I saw it, it was in the study!" Bon bon's voice said nervously. In shot a rainbow blur, Rainbow dash. She tackled Joe before they could think. When Rainbow stopped moving, Lyra could see the gold necklace that was, the element of loyalty. Into the large room of the study, followed Twilight, A.J., Flutter Shy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.
"Rainbow! Stop!" Flutter Shy said, pushing Rainbow off of Joe. "Don't hurt it! It could be Nice!"
"Well we came here with the elements to take this thing down! And that's what we're gonna do!" Rainbow said looking at the dazed Joe. Lyra was equally stunned.
"You still don't have to be mean!" Flutter Shy shouted. She turned to Joe, rapped her hoof around Joe, and began to stroke Joe's hair. "There there. We're sorry for Rainbow hurting you." Flutter Shy cooed in doggy talk.
"Ehs okeh!" Joe said with his big floppy tongue. He tugged away from here. "Coud yeh let geh?" He asked.
"Flutter Shy, could you so kindly translate varmint for us?" Apple Jack asked.
"That's just it. I can't under stand it." Flutter Shy responded.
"UUUUUUUUH!" Pinkie gasped in her over the top gasp. "OH My GOSH! I completely and totally understand!"
"Pinkie? You under stand that thing?" Twilight asked.
"Go on! Tell us what it said!" Rainbow said in her usual hot headed way.
"What? No! I don't understand what it's saying , but I know how it feels! It's tongue is to big for it's mouth! And the poor guy can't talk!" Pinkie said.
"Liwa! Liwa! Eh-plain!" Joe began to call out.
"A plain? A plain what?" Twilight asked.
"It certainly mustn't be talking about dresses! I would faint at such a thing as a plain dress!" Rarity said.
"UG!" Joe sighed exasperatedly. "LIWA!" Joe pointed at Lyra. "Te them whoo I om! Eh-plain!"
"OH! Tell them who I am! He want's me to ex plain!" Lyra said, face hoofing (the pony equivalent of face-palming).
"YE! FINAEH!" Joe said nodding his head. And so, Lyra explained the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
"It's a projection spell!" Lyra said. "I wanted to try it out, but the spell went wrong." Lyra lied through her teeth.
An hour later, Lyra had finally convinced the Mane 6 that it wasn't a monster, and had successfully hidden the note from view. She had also cast the reversal on Joe, making him completely a pony again, with out a hitch.
"What happened? Why didn't the spell work? You did double check the theory first, right?" She asked Joe.
"Yes, I did." Joe responded, dejected. "But, half way through the spell, My magic power began to fade, and the spell stopped. I did keep my horn at least."
"Fat lot of good that would do you. Humans don't have magic power, remember?" Lyra pointed out.
"How could I not?" Joe growled under his breath. "I though I could still use it, if I had a horn."
"And look how that turned out." Lyra said. "But... the spell only fizzled because it was drawing on your power, and it started fading." Lyra began to ponder.
"So, it stands to reason that if my power didn't fade, then the spell would have gone the whole way through!" Joe finished excitedly. "So it worked!"
"Yea, yea It did!" Lyra said, exited as well.
"We made a human transformation spell!!!" Both of them said, high-hoofing (high five-ing equivalent) and squealing, like a teenage Girl who was about to meet the latest pop star. The front door slammed shut, and an angry Bon-bon stomped into the room.
"What were you trying to 'project' any way!?!" Bon bon shouted at them. "Were you trying to project one of your humans?!? Or were you trying to get your little research partner?!? Because ether way, that's way to creepy!" She finished in a huff. The ponies on the receiving end of this rage glanced at each other out of the corner of their (wide) eyes.
Lyra dared to venture: "Are you o-" but was cut off by the angry Bon bon.
"No I am not OK!" She shrieked like a banshee (a screaming ghost for those that don't know) that just had it's foot (if it had feet) stepped on. "You probably scarred me! I need to see a psychiatrist after that freak show!"
"I'm really, really so-"
"If you do... anyting like this one more..."
"SHUT UP!" Joe interrupted Bon bon. "You haven't noticed, but Lyra has been trying to say 'I'm sorry' this whole time! But you keep interrupting her!!! Geez. I feel like freaking couples counselor." Joe finished in a huff. "Now kiss and make up."
"WHAT?!?!" Bon bon and Lyra shrieked.
"Hey, I may be a good freind of Bon bon's... but there is NO WAY i'm gonna kiss her!" Lyra said, about to magically kick Joe's plot.
"What?" Joe pondered what she said for a beife moment, befor he went pale. "NO NO NO NO!" He waved his hooves in front of him, as if dispersing a cloud of smoke. "That's not what I meant! It's an expression! That's all! Don't literally kiss. That's just weird."
Lyra and Bon bon looked at each other. "Oh." They said, giggling a bit after.
JOURNAL: Day 19 (evening)
mentor! I'm beginning to feel closer to Twilight. I think I'm going to take a brake from the anthropology stuff for a while. Mo Twilight is pestering me to hang out with fillies and colts my own age. Like the crusaders. Man I'm tiered. I hope Luna doesn't come into my dreams like she did earlier. Speaking of Luna, she entered my Dream when I napped earlier. She helped me. I miss my mom and dad. I felt better after words. But... When she entered, I could feel her. I could feel her. I sensed her loneliness. It was horrible. But there was happiness too. I hope some good is happening to her. That's all for this entry. Night.
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
Author's Note
I am making a return to this story! I'm not going to update it often enough to remove the "on hiatus" tag, but I am updating again.
... Hopefully they'll be better, considering it's been years seance I've written this story.
[9] Full On Human
Joe took a deep breath, steeling his nerves.
"Ready?" Lyra asked. Joe nodded. "Yeah... let's do this." Lyra channeled her energy. Joe felt the tingeing in his horn, all the way to his tail... both of which suddenly went numb. Joe's hooves began to grow fingers, and his fur and mane began to recede. A large amount of changes took place, until all that was left was a naked human.
"I'm... I'm me!" Joe exclaimed, patting himself down, just to make sure everything was there... and other things weren't. Lyra sat, starring in awe.
"You're so... beautiful !" She exclaimed. Joe ignored that, and walked over to the mirror they had set up before hand.
"Hello there Joseph, good to see you again!" Joe said to his reflection. Lyra giggled... then grabbed and started caressing his hand.
"Gah! It's even more defined than the hand spell!" She squealed. Joe smiled and rolled his eyes, pulling his hands away. Lyra's face turned to despair and she reached for his hands.
"Wow there, settle down." He laughed.
"But... what's it like?" She asked. Joe thought about it for a moment.
"It's... not as good actually. Now that I have a choice, I prefer the pony body." Lyra looked confused.
"But... you have hands ! And... hands ! What more do you need?!?" Lyra exclaimed.
"I... don't know actually. It just feels... better." Joe said.
"I'll be the judge of that!" Lyra exclaimed. "I'm gonna change you back, then you'll change me! I'm gonna be a human!" She chirped. Joe rolled his eyes.
"Ok then, change me back." Joe sighed. Lyra removed the spell, and Joe felt his body morph. Red fur began to grow over his form, as it changed shape, and sent him onto all fours. Then, Joe was a pony again. He smiled as he looked at his hooves, and his reflection in the mirror.
"Alright! Cast the spell on me, cast the spell on me!" Lyra bounced. Joe readied the spell.
"Lyra! I'm home!" Bonbon called from downstairs. Joe lost concentration, and the glow on his horn faltered.
"No!" Lyra shouted. She ran downstairs. "Bonbon! Go out for a bit! Go... to the library! Read a book!" She pleaded to her room-mate. Bonbon narrowed her eyes at Lyra.
"Why?" She monotoned.
"We're experimenting, and we need a little more time!"
Joe peaked his head around the corner.
"WHAT!?! " Bonbon shrieked. "Please tell me you weren't testing anything on a foal !"
"Oh no, he was testing on me." Lyra said. Her room mate looked at her.
"I'm not sure if that's worse." She mono-toned. "Look, imagine if he'd seen that projection, he'd need a psychiatrist for years!" Joe rolled his eyes. After seeing a few horror movies, he could handle a pastel pony-human hybrid.
"But the only reason I projected it was because he wasn't here! And it wasn't my fault I got distracted during the casting."
"I'm still not sold that was a projection." Bonbon said. "Whatever, but what were you experimenting this time?"
"A mirror, we were trying to enchant it to see into other worlds." Lyra lied. She was scary good at lying.
"Yeah, and we're so close !" I chimed in. Bonbon looked at me.
"What if you saw something you... didn't like?" She asked me.
"Seeing something disturbing is the least of my worries." I said to her. "And even if I did, I could handle it."
"But you shouldn't need to! You're too little to be wrapped up in this... it isn't normal!" Bonbon exclaimed.
"My life isn't normal!" I snapped. "I've been ripped from my family and my life, with out a trace! They don't even know where I am! They think I've been kidnapped or worse ! And the cherry on top, the big finally , is that I'm not even on the same planet anymore! I'm not the same anything! Not the same world, not the same country, not the same species, and heck I'm not even the same age anymore! You wanna know how old I was a month ago? 15! Now, I'm 8! I have to re-grow up! I even had to re-learn how to hold things with these stupid, useless, hooves! And I've jumped through an ungodly amount of hoops just to survive long enough to get back, but let's not forget the ungodly amount of hoops I still need to jump through! So you know what?! Square up mate! Get in the ring! Fight me! " I said, stomping over to the door, and punching it open.
"Joe, where are you going?!" Lyra asked.
"I don't care!" I shouted, running off.
Memories of Joe the Unicorn
We ran out of the throne room.
“HEY!” I tripped. “Slow down! I’m not used to running on all fours.” Sundrop slowed her pace to a trot (I will be using terms like this now). She sped up again, and this time she was holding onto my left hoof. This helped me run faster, but not by much. We ran out of the castle and through a bustling city.
“I guess this is… Canterlot?” I asked, thinking over the knowledge in my head.
“Yes,” said Sundrop. I started laughing. “What?” she asked.
“Oh, well, Canterlot… Camelot,” I said. “It would make more sense if you came from… I’ll call it the human world,” I replied. Soon we reached a park. The odd thing was that it looked like it was designed for humans. It looked like a normal human park, except for the ki- fillies running around and using it. Then I noticed that most of them had a picture on their flank. Then I remembered what they were. I nodded my head as I thought through the knowledge. There was so much I had to learn about this place. But then, I was glad that I didn’t start off with nothing about Equestria… Things were constantly filling my brain. But nothing was leaving. I remembered everything about my life, so far.
"Come on!" Sundrop gestured for me to follow on to the green park. I followed. We had "lessons" on how to be a pony. I got the hang of it fast, and at the end was where it got exciting.
A bunch of ponies with cameras came and started taking pictures of Sundrop.
“Hey! Back off,” I said to one of the paparazzi.
“WOW! This will make a great scoop: Young Royalty and her boyfriend!” the stallion replied. I blushed.
“HEY! It’s not like that!” I yelled, feeling my temper growing. “Let’s go!’’ I grabbed Sundrop by the hoof and pulled her out of the park. We ran at a gallop back to the palace. We ran with the the paparazzi on our tails. Not literally, but that can happen… I think. So we ran and didn’t stop until we reached Sundrop’s room.
“Why were they after you?” I asked, panting. Is panting this much normal for ponies? I thought.
“Well, nopony knows me. I’m the mysterious Royal,” she replied.
“So the paparazzi haven't changed, no matter where you are,” I joked. Sundrop laughed. I laughed. “I like it here,” I said.
“I like you,” Sundrop said. I blushed. Then I fainted. Again.
Author's Note
Yes it's short. I had a short amount of time on this. I wanted to end the first chapter, because it was getting to long and we be out of place with the other chapters. The others will be at a tolerable, I pinkie promise.
