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                   Diamond Tiara And...                    
                   -by TheFanficFanPony-                   
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        ...the telemarketer     by rocketknightgeek        
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...the telemarketer by rocketknightgeek
“And this bit,” Filthy Rich finished explaining as he gestured to a large thimble on the end of a wire, “is what you speak into when you want to talk.”
“I don’t know about this Daddy,” Diamond Tiara said with a grimace as she circled around the odd black device that was now sitting on the corner of her father’s desk, “isn’t this just, like, a fancy version of that stupid cups and string thing Miss Cheerilee had us build for science class?  If it’s anything like that then it’s going to stop working every time the mailpony forgets about the wires.”
“Well, kind of,” Filthy Rich laughed, “It’s currently only like a really long reaching version of that because very few ponies have one.  I’m getting one because I invested in the company that’s making the network but soon the mayor will have one and so will the Princesses.”
“Cool,” Diamond perked up, “you mean we get to have something before even the Princesses do?”
“That’s right Honey,” Filthy smiled, “but hopefully they’ll be in almost every home in a few years, so enjoy your exclusivity while it lasts.  Now, it’s just gone noon so we should get our first call from Canterlot soon to test the connection.”
“Oooh,” Diamond giggled, “can I try it out when they do?”
“Well,” Filthy said with a scratch at his chin, “provided you promise to be courteous to my business partners then I don’t see why not.”
“Yay,” Diamond cheered before turning to stare at the device and doing a little dance on the spot to try and contain her excitement.
Her dancing petered out a minute later when the telephone had still failed to ring.  Diamond was briefly reminded of a saying concerning the watching of kettles but threw it out of her mind because who the hay would ever sit there and watch a kettle?
Thankfully, there was a deck of cards sitting on the desk for just such an emergency.
It was a good hour later when Filthy Rich was saved from a third thrashing at go fish by a loud, clattering ring coming from the corner of his desk.  Diamond instantly reached over to pick up the receiver and took a calming breath before speaking.
“Hello,” Diamond said with careful enunciation into the device, “is that Canterlot, can you hear me?”
“Yes, hello,” came a heavily accented voice from the other end of the line, “I am calling to ask if you are currently happy with your service provider.”
“Um, what?,” Diamond replied, “like, what are you talking about?”
“Now Honey,” Filthy reprimanded her, “remember what I said, be polite.”
“Yes Daddy,” Diamond sighed before turning back to the receiver, “I’m sorry, can you please repeat that?”
“Well Ma’am,” the voice continued, “as I was saying, we have it down here that you are currently subscribed to the FancyRich network and we are currently running a special where you can get the same service plus a lowered international calling rate for the same price.”
Diamond Tiara put her hoof over the receiver and turned back to her father, “um, Daddy…  I think you may wish to take this.”
“So, like, anyway,” Diamond said as Silver Spoon finished off her second ice cream sundae of the day, “that’s why I have this big tab at Sugarcube Corner now, all I had to do was promise to never repeat any of the words Daddy used when I’m around Mummy.”
“Neat,” Silver giggled, “any idea what happened to the other company?”
“Nothing much,” Diamond sighed, “turns out it was Discord messing around on Princess Twilight’s line but Daddy’s lawyers are still planning to take him for everything he owns.”
“Does he actually own anything?,” Silver giggled.
“No he doesn’t,” came the quiet voice of a butter yellow pegasus sitting next to Diamond, “I still can’t believe that Judge ruled that friendships were transferable equity.”
“Well,” Diamond moaned, “at least you get unlimited ice cream out of the deal and hopefully Princess Twilight will get this overturned before tonight.  I don’t really want to spend another night getting kicked to sleep by an angry rabbit.”
“Yes, let’s hope,” Fluttershy giggled before returning to the counter to grab another Sundae.  Waste not, want not and all that.