Alchemical explosions and bursts of magical energy flew about the grim, muddy hillside. Another defeat of the loyalists at the hands of the royal guard, corrupted beyond sanity with evil and greed.
Atop a hillside, Discord watched with an evil, satisfied grin. Twilight saw him, as did Applejack, as they tried to hold back the guard's advance to buy their loyalist comrades some time to retreat safely, fighting hard in spite of the string of defeat after defeat that marred the loyalist resistance.
Life had been hard on everypony after Discord killed both of the royal sisters, along with cadence. Luna's night guard had fought back furiously against the remains of the royal guard (whom Discord had corrupted) but ultimately were destroyed by the vastly stronger and larger force. The fleeing citizens of Canterlot and the few, uncorrupted pockets of royal guard formed the loyalist resistance under Twilight and her friends, but what the resistance needed was a great hero to drive them to victory...
Discord made his way silently into the central chamber of the Canterlot dungeons. Before his coup, only the worst criminals were sent here, to live out their sentence in the dark, dusty confines. He had just recently retrofitted the eating hall (it didn't matter, as there was nopony here. Discord didn't take prisoners, when he wanted to torture somepony, he would do it in front of his maddened guards in the city square) into a holding chamber for the chosen son. Prophecies foretold of a mighty warrior in another dimension, one with no magic. To be specific, if was the eighteenth classical universe, with one specific galaxy, with one specific quadrant, with one specific fucking system, and one specific (and badass) planet. Earth
Luckily, it was Discord's favourite planet in the whole ultraverse. After months of searching, Discord found the likeliest chosen one, the one who had given his company (EA, made by Discord to troll humanity) the most shit, the one who would not back down in his fight for the good of mankind against EA, Mack Mackerson.
The chamber was lined with reinforced glass: If Discord got close to Mack, then the prediction said that Discord would meet a most horrible death at the hands of the chosen hero. In the unlikely event of Mack breaking out, Discord would have to stay as far away from him as possible, not even going anywhere near him.
Charging his spell, Discord got prepared to watch the execution of Mack Mackerson...
Sweat stuck to my mouse as I carefully watched out for any threats to my 'mech. Bez was talking to Nick in his thick accent while sparrow said rude things in the stream chat, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. My head on a swivel, I trudged up the crystalline hill in my clan made beast of a machine. I could see half of the enemy team from the top of the high mountain, so I cried "Fuego!" as I let slip a deadly barrage of LRMs.
Red smoke appeared in front of me, so I frantically back pedalled down the mountain at a breakneck pace, but before I could hear the mighty roar of the air strike my vision suddenly went black...
Slowly lifting my head, I found that I was in a glass cube. The door to my right opened up and in walked three... ponies? I lost my shit when they started to talk. "Let's just kill him already!" said one, "No, we have to make it slow!" said another manically. My facial expression suddenly changed to one of fear. Expertly, I began unfastening my bonds, however, I needed a distraction. "Oi ya cunts, I bet your mothers are fat ugly whores!" I shouted, and immediately was rewarded with howls of anger. Their short show of fury allowed just enough time for me to undo the ropes keeping me held. I ran past them and through the door that they (stupidly) didn't close.
I circled left to the larger part of the rough, stone hall and came face to face with a horrific monster that I had failed to notice but seconds ago. Face of a goat and all different limbs, the beast went running, shitting itself. I didn't stop to think about why as I sprinted to a flight of stairs in the side of the wall. Running like a bastard, I suddenly found myself on a green, rocky mountain top.
Weird day, eh?
Discord, enraged, shook his fists in anger. Discord was lucky that he teleported Mack away from Canterlot before he fulfilled the prophecy, it still didn't make Discord feel any better though...
I walked briskly through the nooks and crags of the sunny, arid hillside. With the heat starting to get to my head, I look around for shelter. All the birds and animals (mostly rabbits) I could see looked like the ones from back home. I had to still be on Earth, hadn't I?
Talking about rabbits, when I got took to the dungeon I had rabbit on my desk. Where did I put him when I ran off? Oh, that's right, my back pocket. I took him out and idly muttered "This is all your fault rabbit". Unfortunately, he was the only thing (apart from the clothes that I was wearing) that got taken with me.
In the distance, I could see a large windmill with a bunch of tents set up around it. Stealthily, I started to go towards it. As I got close, I could see more ponies in around the camp. Unlike the wicked ones I had the misfortune of meeting earlier, these ones were all different colours, and not all white and in golden armour like the bastards from earlier. Some had horns, and some had wings. A few of them had neither, and some of them were flying in the sky amongst the clouds. How the fuck were they able to fly?
Closing in, a bolt of lavender energy shot at my side. Looking up to the windmill balcony it came from, I saw a purple... Unicorn... yeah, that sounds about right. I yelled "What the fuck was that!?"
She loudly replied "A warning shot!"
"Well no shit!" I shouted, "What was it made from?"
"Magic, you moron!" She shouted back from atop the windmill.
Magic?... The fuck?
"What are you?" She shouted, inquisitively.
"A Human" I said.
"Curious, you'd better come inside, and Celestia help me if you're a spy of discord".
