What Happens in Author Support
So I am going to get banned from the Author Support group for this but w/e. Author Support, Join up
This story does not reflect the truth. Any semblance to reality is all a lie.
It was a generic hot summer day, except for the fact that it was spring. Failcraft was wandering through people’s fictions, finding something else to read and noticed several groups. He clicked on the Author Support group and joined, thinking that he could find some advice on writing. What happened to him was something entirely unexpected. This is his story within the confines of the Author Support group.
What he found instead was a innocuous message in his PM box that welcomed him to the group. It was sent by BronyMaster, who showed his infinite love for his peons and other mindless slaves. Failcraft was at once impressed by BronyMaster’s inherent awesomeness, and bowed down to his power. Failcraft knew that BronyMaster was the person he wanted to emulate. Unbeknownst to both of them, TheEsperBrony observed evilly and manipulated the strands of fate.
At the time Failcraft joined, there were other members too. One in particular, Cookie Needs Love was very adamant about giving cookies love. To this day, no one knows why. This love was infectious and caused Failcraft to write something strange. The other members were somewhat unimportant since they just kinda sat there.
After he joined, Failcraft realized his mouth was throbbing from all the writing he had been doing. He tried typing with his hoof, but it was too awkward. The hooves tended to press too many keys at the same time. This, along with with some secret dealings with TheEsperBrony caused Failcraft to start trolling BronyMaster. However, BronyMaster took a godlike streak and used a banhammer of doom to completely destroy Failcraft’s ability to use the internet. BronyMaster was extremely sweaty and hot after using the banhammer, because it took a lot of energy. Some of that energy was translated into heat upon release, since energy degrades into heat anyway.
Failcraft repented, and was welcomed back with open arms because he was too valuable to the group at this point. He was like the fourth person ever to join the group, and they were desperate to keep as many members as possible. All of them were forever alone and needed actual friends. Failcraft was not the ideal candidate, but then again, beggars can’t be choosers and the group had no one better qualified who actually wanted the job.
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Meanwhile, TheEsperBrony levitated a cup of coffee with a horn and laughed maniacally. The threads that TheEsperBrony had pulled were indeed the correct ones. The testing was complete.
Everything was going to plan. Failcraft was writing the story that TheEsperBrony wanted. But then Failcraft changed his name to vs.dubstep, because he was a changed man, and wrote some crack fics. He was getting less and less serious about writing by the minute, and as a result, his writing quality was getting worse and worse. Yet because no one read his stuff anyway because he was somewhat useless, vs.dubstep did not get downvoted into oblivion. He even got one or two upvotes and a couple of watchers. He still felt sad but couldn’t cope with it. Instead, he bothered BronyMaster more to recover from his lack of self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.
At this point, BronyMaster was really annoyed at vs.dubstep so he lashed back in anguish. Vs.dubstep was sorry for his actions, and apologized. They made up and started a cylce of bashing and apologization. Thus the relationship was born between the two because of TheEsperBrony. TheEsperBrony was too powerful to reveal most of the secrets behind the manipulation and subsequently erased this part of the one-shot. If he let his secrets get out, he would no longer be The Great And Powerful Trixie, no wait TheEsperBrony.
Deep within TheEsperBrony’s lair, a lot of groaning was going on, as TheEsperBrony continued to observe the situation. It pleased him greatly.
BronyMaster at this point was completely sure that he was insane. Vs.dubstep stepped in though, and proved that he was more insane. Because they were both insane, they promptly forgot about the agreement, so vs.dubstep continued to bash on BronyMaster who continued to accept it and then release the resulting energy that was transferred. Both of them had started to like this cycle that was forming quite nicely.
This cycle started to get more extreme, as BronyMaster released more and more energy, threatening to ban on increasing frequencies. Vs.dubstep responded with increased trolling because he liked tempting fate; the high it gave him was quite exhilarating. It was becoming a dangerous high energy relationship. BronyMaster was getting exhausted from all the releasing he had to do. If they weren’t careful, BronyMaster would lose his potency.
The groaning in TheEsperBrony’s lair was getting louder. Now, TheEsperBrony could get a fix whenever. All was good.
Soon, TheEsperBrony wanted to get the sessions between BronyMaster and vs.dubstep to get recorded, so v-dub was commissioned to write the recordings. Vs.dubstep changed his name to v-dub because it would make sense. Also, v-dub owed several favors. He didn’t dare to back off. Also, he was desperate for attention and stuff. If he wasn’t going to write a good fic, then he would write the worst fic in the history of fics.
BronyMaster then decided to step down, because he was spent. He needed time alone to recharge. This meant that an actual unicorn could take over, as TheEsperBrony obviously was. V-dub also got made into a temporary administrator because of his relationship with BronyMaster. Also, BronyMaster knew that he wanted to get some free shit, because free shit is always good. Ain’t no one messes with free shit.
V-dub then finished the recording and posted the story. He knew it would probably get him banned and all, but it didn’t matter that much to him. The favor had been completed and he was now free to continue to be somewhat stupid and work on the other stories that plagued his mind. It was agreed that v-dub was insane after all.
