Deprivation

by Wingless

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Sad, Romance, Adventure
Length: 7100

Many think that being deprived of anything is a horrible thing. For some, it's the only thing in life that matters.

The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.
—John Milton from "Paradise Lost"—

Dan. He's the man. At least to others, he is. In public he dons his friendly facade and with a warm greeting and warm smile he knows how to brighten anyone's day. Unfortunately he is unable to use his emotionally uplifting powers on himself, receding into his quiet bubble at the end of each day. There he can be away from the noise of the babbling masses, the choking smoke of the thousands of vehicles, and the cold stares of the people who want nothing more than to be left to themselves.

He's more than happy to give it to them. The alone time, that is. But even the brief respites from the world and his few friends aren't enough. Now, he will be given the power to brighten even his own day, while still brightening others' day.

And he doesn't even need to leave his apartment.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-05 03:50:08 UTC

The Beginning

"Alright sir, since we ran that card as credit the remaining balance will go back on your card."

"But I wanted the cash back! I told you to run it as debit."

"Well, I'm sorry sir, I was sure you had asked me to run it credit, and you did sign a receipt sir, not enter a pin."

"Fine, I'll just grab some gum and do cash back."

"Err... Sorry but the only time I can actually give you cash back is with a fuel purchase. It's company policy."

"I don't give a shit about policy! I've been fueling up here for years now, you should make an exception."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I can offer you our A.T.M. though—"

"Whatever prick, I'm going to a different store. God job losing a customer, jerk."

And with that the man walked out the store and drove off, peeling out as he went. Luckily the store was now empty, save for Dan and his manager, Jill, so he took that time to smack his head against the counter, the smile that graced his face just minutes before completely replaced by repulsion. He turned to Jill looking for words of encouragement, only to get indifference.

"Nice work Dan, think you can do that when Daryl's comes in? I'd love to lose all our best customers today."

"Oh come on! Jill, it's not like that guy has been in here daily since the store was created. I can't even remember seeing him before!"

Jill scoffed, "that's not the point and you know it. It doesn't matter how much of an asshole the person is, you should always do what they say."

"But it's policy! You've written me up twice for not following policy, why now is it not such a big deal?"

"I wrote you up those times because you had twenties in your drawer. You know we have to drop them in the safe as soon as we get them, whether or not we needed fives and tens. And it wouldn't have been a big deal to just charge a pump then refund it to give him money."

Dan laughed mirthlessly. "No way in Hell, Jill. I may hate this bloody place, but I'm not getting fired because some pencil pusher in Davenport spots that transaction and reports it."

"All the same, I am going to have to write you up. Unfortunately this is strike two for this month, so I'll have to give you a week suspension too." Jill pushed away the paperwork in front of her and walked to the back office, hollering behind her, "It'll be wrote up and on my desk before you leave."

A wave of calm rage flowed over Dan as he watched her walk away. He walked into the back room, his fists clenched. Slowly he closed his eyes and began his litany he spoke whenever he got that mad.

"I am calm, I am cool. Just let it pass. I am calm, I am cool. Just let it pass. I am calm, I am cool... oh fuck it all!"

Picking up the nearest box in the room, he flung it out the door and onto the sales floor. The moment it hit, a jarring crash came from within, and Dan's heart sank as he realized he had just thrown the box of coffee pots the store had been needing for nearly a month. The box broke open and millions of sparkling shards dance around the floor, settling at the feet the recently returned Jill.

"Oh... fuck it all!"

——————————————————————————————————

The door slammed behind Dan as he walked into his house. He threw his coat and keys on the floor and walked to his handy "to do" chalkboard. On it he kept notes on how to better organize his life each week. Dan picked up the worn piece of chalk and scratched out everything on it:

GET MATCHES FOR STORE - FRIDAY

GET BETTER THERMOMETER FOR STORE - FRIDAY

HELP JILL REORGANIZE STOCK ROOM - SATURDAY

PURCHASE NEW UNIFORM - MONDAY

He sighed in defeat and scribbled a new note, dropping the chalk as he walked away.

GO TO UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE

He plopped into his favorite recliner and flipped on his T.V. to the only station. Seinfeld again, great. he thought to himself. Luckily, Dan was a man of few needs for entertainment. Clicking open the small wooden box next to his chair, he pulled out a small baggie and a pack of rolling papers before adjusting himself in his chair, readying himself for eight uninterrupted hours of mind-numbing lethargy. As soon as he sprinkled his broken up herb on a paper, however, a resounding knock came from his door, shaking Dan and his grass all over the place.

"Sonofa..." he mumbled, shaking his shirt off and walking to the door. Knowing his neighborhood, he grabbed his revolver from the cabinet drawer next to the door. Tucking it in his waistband, he put his ear to the door and asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me, open the door," came a familiar voice. Dan stuck the firearm back in its spot and opened the door, his brother standing there with his usual dopey grin. "Heya butt-lick. Got any weed?"

Dan rolled his eyes and moved out of the way for his kin. "Yeah, I always got some. Doesn't mean you get to smoke any, Craig."

Craig strolled in and sat right down in Dan's chair. "Oh, come on! Can't spare a joint for your favorite brother?"

Dan walked behind him and flipped the chair, his brother yelping as he sprawled out on the floor. "While I can spare one, I won't," he chuckled as he sat down in his rightful throne. "I have to save enough for a party with my... coworkers..."

Even picking himself off the floor, Craig noticed Dan trailing off, and could see the troubled look on his brothers face. "Hey, what's up big bro? Something happen today?"

After a moment of quiet contemplation, Dan started as if he had only just noticed Craig in his apartment, then sighed as he stared out the window. "I uh, got fired today."

"What?! Did that crazy bitch try writing you up again?"

"She did write me up. And I may hove gotten pissed... and thrown a giant box of glass coffee pots..."

"Shit. Well, so much for tryin' to get in Jill's pants, eh?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Craig!" Dan yelled as he jumped from his chair. "This is why I don't talk to you about this shit. I can't get a straight answer from you, ever! This is fucking serious, Craig! I have to clean out my system first of all. I've been so stressed from work I've been smoking like, eight joints a day, and almost all jobs piss-test now! Then I have to get more feed for the charity ranch, otherwise the horses won't have the food they need. That's not to mention I need enough gas to drive to the shelter this Friday and Saturday—"

"Brother! Brother, please, calm down, it'll be okay." Craig put his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Don't worry about a thing. It's not much, but we need a new dishwasher at the bakery. It'll it least get you through to another job, and my boss won't test you. Hell, he smokes too. Now as far as money goes, I'll spot you a couple hundred bucks, that way you can feed your welfare horses and get to the soup kitchen and not worry about feeding yourself. Pay me when you can, okay?"

"Please don't call them that, it's not their fault they're not wanted. It's not like you care anyway." But Dan looked up into his brother's eyes and saw a compassion he rarely saw. Craig didn't really care for much, but Dan knew he at least cared for his family. "T-thanks Craig. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for snapping."

"Hey what are brothers for, huh? Besides, it just sounds like you are so wrecked man! You need to get out, get some R&R. C'mon, I was just heading out to the uh, 'spa.'"

"Uhh..." Dan was a little off put. Craig's idea of a "spa" usually meant a cheap masseuse with a happy ending. And the fact that he actually, physically, made quotes with his fingers when he said spa made the idea all the more alarming to Dan. "Craig, you know how I feel about those places. Those girls are creepy, and the place usually smells like nursing home."

Craig waved it off. "No, no, Dan. This is a nice relaxation place. The guy is cool with people smoking, and usually has something to sell himself. It's out in the woods, no city pollution, giant hot tubs and saunas. You name it, they got it. Plus, I have an idea to help you relax."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad, I guess," Dan mumbled, mulling it over. "What's your idea to help me relax?"

"I've been reading up on ways to... well, you'll see. Let's just say it's something to try, and this guy's got it."

"I'm not doing peyote anymore, Craig. Not really into the whole, y'know, puking and dying of dehydration, eh?"

"Oh c'mon! That was one time! You had fun the other time, right? Besides, no drugs. Well, some drugs. But not those drugs."

Dan looked around his apartment, trying to find anything to keep him from his brother's "adventure." Unfortunately for the minimum wage paid stoner, his sparse apartment gave no help. And "playing video games and getting high" was not a good excuse. Especially when that was probably what they were going to do anyway.

Dan sighed and started gathering his things. "Fine. Let's do this, then."

Craig clapped his hands together like a little schoolgirl. "Oh yeah, grab your coat, brother, we're taking a trip."

"Okay. To where, though?"

Dan's eyes crossed as Craig put his finger to his brother's forehead. "We're taking a trip... into your mind!"

——————————————————————————————————

Dan's head gently bumped against the window of the car. They had been driving for an hour and it was almost dusk. He had fallen asleep twice listening to Craig's awful celtic-latin dubstep fusion and was well on his way to passing out for the night when a hand shook him awake.

"We're here!"

Dan looked up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Looking around, he could see they had traveled a great distance, the buildings and cars of Milwaukee replaced with trees and long, snow-covered fields. "Jeez, Craig," he said as he saw a cow go by. "I hope he has rooms for rent. I don't want to drive this far after getting really stoned."

"Yeah, he has rooms that come with the fee. Hostel style, but oh well. Besides, this guy's pretty cool. Oh, here it is."

Turning off the road onto a dirt path, a pair of large barns loomed in the distance, the lowering sun shining off the newer-looking tin roof, and small house nestled off to the side. A group of people were gather in front of one, a small fire pit blazing and beers being passed around. Dan smiled as he nodded to himself.

"Hey, this looks pretty nice. This is a spa?"

"Well... think of it more like, 'rustic accommodations with recreational activities.' Just you wait, the best parts are inside."

They pulled up and parked next to an old Volkswagen Micro-bus and what looked like an Amish-style horse and buggy, the attached horse lazily chewing on some grain. Dan got out and gave a friendly rub on the horse's nose. Craig hopped out and started walking over to the group of people. Dan caught up and immediately started having second thoughts, once he saw the people hanging out at the fire.

The people could only be described as living in the 1960s and never leaving it. With the exception to the all nude old lady dancing behind the group, they were all dressed in a stereotypical "flower child" outfit. Hemp clothing, flowers, sandals, and tie dye shirts abounding. Dan knew his brother all too well, and knowing his extracurricular activities means knowing about his penchant for hallucinogens.

"Whoa, Craig," he whispered in his ear. "You know I said I didn't want to get like that. So not in the mood for it."

"Don't worry, I know that. I'd never do something like that to you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Dan's brow furrowed. "Then what did you mean by 'trip into my mind?'"

Craig's mischievous grin grew wider. "You'll see."

They reached the group, waving as they approached, and received a friendly smile and an extended hand from an ancient looking beard and a worn face that would make Gandalf proud. "Well look who it is, if it isn't the little mockingbird!"

"Hiya Chance, how ya been?" Craig said and he took the hand, shaking it gently. "How's business?"

"Oh well, both myself and the farm are fine. Had the fuckin' DEA poundin' on my door again but they got nothing, which means they got no warrant. Speaking of which, who is this?" he said while pointing at Dan. "You know how I am about bringing friends, I need notice."

"It's okay Chance, it's my brother. You did say I could bring him anytime, right?"

Chances eyes widened and he immediately snatched Dan's hand up and shook it vigorously. "Son, your brother has told me all about your charity work, especially out at the Flourishing Meadows Horse Sanctuary. Anyone who cares for needing animals is good in my book."

Dan smiled and shook the hand a little more warmly. "It's all my pleasure, sir. They need help, and I usually have more than enough for myself, so why not give it to those in need?"

"But what about people?" One of the other spoke up. "Don't they need it more than animals?"

"Shut up, Danny," Chance snapped. "This man is one of the good ones. Craig said you also volunteer at a homeless kitchen, or something?"

"Y-yeah, we make meals then drive to hand them out when we get a call from someone who needs it." A blush creeped onto his face. Being admired for his work was always embarrassing to Dan. Especially from strangers.

"See? A man who cares for all. A rarity nowadays. Please, accept a free visit from me tonight."

"Well, thank you, very much. But uh, I'm not really sure what to do here. Craig didn't tell me much."

"Hell, we've got it all!" Chance swept his arm across the view of his property. "Care to sweat out your troubles in the sauna? Take a dip in the lake or hot tub? Get a massage?"

"Actually, Chance, Dan's not really into all that. I kinda wanted to show him the chamber tonight."

Chance raised an eyebrow as his smile slowly dropped. "Now Craig, you know that's not something for the unprepared. It can be intense."

"Wait, what's the chamber?" Dan asked, his curiosity peaked.

"It's okay, Chance, Dan can take it. Whenever he and I were cactus heads, he was usually the one to guide us through. He can keep his head on straight in there."

"But, what is it?" Dan's voice hinted some urgency. I can "take it?" What the Hell is this chamber if being right minded on mescaline is a prerequisite?

Chance sighed and nodded his head. "Alright, you do know him best." He turned and looked Dan right in the eyes. "'The Chamber' is exactly how it sounds. Its official name is a 'sensory deprivation chamber.' It's a soundproof container, filled with salt-heavy water, and no light. It will make it to where you are exposed to absolutely no sensory input at all. No sound, no light, the water is around body temp and the magnesium in the salt makes you more buoyant as it were, so it feels like you're floating in nothingness."

Craig jumped in, drawing Dan's transfixed eyes to him. "Most people, including all of us here, use the chamber to relax, but at the same time, with no noise or light or anything, your mind can take over for what you experience. You can see things, hear things, smell, taste, touch things. It just takes a clear mind."

Dan just stood there, looking between the two men. He had never heard such an... improbable concept. But he thought, improbable isn't impossible. Why the Hell not.

"Well, okay. I'll give it a shot. I'm so tired of the sounds of the city I think some complete silence will do me good."

"Alright then, follow me." Chance turned around and headed not into the barns, but towards the back of the house. The brothers followed him, Dan with a bit more trepidation then Craig. Around the house sat a simple box. It looked much like a very long dog house with a door, but the entire bottom section was fiberglass, mainly for the water, Dan guessed. "Okay, Dan. Head behind that curtain hanging there and change. You can wear those swim shorts there or you can go nude, just no pissing in the water, okay?"

Dan nodded and went behind the curtain. He decided against the grimy looking shorts and just wrapped a towel around himself. He took a moment to relieve himself on a tree nearby before walking back to the two men. "All set."

Chance chuckled. "Sure you are." He opened the little door on the chamber and waved a hand at it. "Go on in, we'll leave you to it. I've set a timer and it'll go off in an hour. Don't stay in too long, but do wait for the timer. Your sense of time will be off in there, and you may as well get a full hour, even though twenty minutes can feel like three hours. Good luck." He clapped Craig on the back and walked him back to the fire, leaving Dan by himself. The sun was almost under the horizon and it was quickly becoming hard to see, so Dan threw the towel off and climbed in the little door.

The water was warm and only came up just past his elbow, but he could see what they meant about the buoyancy, since it was hard to put the arm under without the water forcing it back up. He flipped around on his back and let the water settle down, slightly bobbing up and down. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly, as all sound was cut off as the door closed behind him. Not even the crickets or birds in the field could be heard, only the soft thumping of Dan's heart and quiet sloshing of the water as he moved or adjusted.

It was the perfect amount of calm and Dan felt the stress be drawn from him. He was itchy but he figured it was just the salty water. His tense muscles relaxed and he smiled, slightly chiding himself for doubting his brother. Thinking of his brother, he thought about what he had said. Some people hear things, see things, touch things. I gotta see if I can do it too. he thought.

Dan cleared his mind for a moment, before beginning to hum his favorite symphony piece by Basil Poledouris from "The Hunt for Red October." He harmonized with the choir in his head, half humming, half fake singing the Russian lyrics. He almost stopped, wondering if the box was sound proof both ways, before remembering to keep his head clear. He stopped humming, and just played the song in his head. The choir crescendoed and decrescendoed, the horns blaring and the symbols crashing before coming to an end with the choir softly holding the last note.

The music ceased in Dan's head, and he sat there in quiet peace, feeling slightly disappointed but all the same elated at his simple enjoyment of music could seems so vivid in his mind. He sighed and tried adjusting a little more, wondering how long he had already been in there. But his adjustment didn't work. He still felt a slight pressure on his back and behind. He put his hands down to push off the bottom of the tank, but his hands met something hard instead of water. It was still dark, so he couldn't see what he hit. But it didn't feel like the plastic lining of the chamber.

As if off in the distance, a small light caught his eye. There in the abyss, was a low, red light. It trailed off out of his vision, but was soon replaced by another, this time a soft green. Then others. Soon his vision was swimming with lights. His eyes burned but he couldn't close his eyes, worry that if he did they would leave for good. The lights quickly coalesced into small, simple shapes, a circle here, a jagged pentagon there. They shifted and melded into a blinding mass of colors. It almost hurt, and finally he closed his eyes.

The colors disappeared but it didn't last, as his eyes sprang open again at the return of the music. his eyes focused, but instead of being met by the abysmal dark, golden and red light streamed in, yet it didn't hurt his eyes. He was in a concert hall, finely decorated with golden pillars and crimson velvet hangings. The place was filled with thousands of finely dressed people. Tuxedos, top hats, and flowing gowns filled the seats while a hundred or so musicians sat on stage, instruments humming out their epic melody. He gazed around in wonder at the sight before him, until he realized someone was looking at him. A lithe framed woman sat next to him, wearing a sparkling black dress and with the most dazzling blue hair no dye could match. She looked at him with her soft eyes and a kind smile before asking, "That was a beautiful piece of music. Won't you stay for one more?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The light faded and sounds of happy concert-goers trailed off. The woman was the last to go, but not before her smile turned to slight disappointment. The feeling of water came back and an annoying sound filled the chamber. Dan maneuvered over to open the door, reaching out and shutting off the alarm. He climbed out to the cool night air and shook himself dry. He was on autopilot at that point, too engrossed by what he had just witnessed to notice the cold or the people laughing and cheering from within the barn.

He threw on his clothes and walked to the empty barn. Peering in, he saw rows of cot style beds and figured this was where the guest slept. Only taking his shoes back off, he climbed into an unreserved bed and passed out. But not before thinking, I need one of those.

Truth is Stranger (Dan)

"I'm on the highway to Hell! Blaow, blaow, yeh, highway to Hell!"

Dan jumped up out of bed, a blaring guitar grinding away at his eardrums. His head hit a padded roof and he slowly realized he was in the car. The volume went down and was replaced with the belly laughs of his brother, who was driving them back down the road to home.

"What, no AC/DC for you? Not surprised coming from someone who likes Duran Duran."

Dan rubbed the top of his head, feeling the lump already forming. "Oh shut up, Mr. 'Céline Dion has only one good song.' Don't think I haven't seen you singing along to 'The Power of Love.'"

The car swerved to the left then back again. "Ah, aheh. Um, no?"

It was Dan's turn to laugh, barely choking out a sentence. "Actually no, I was joking. But damn that was funny, and confirms it."

Craig grumbled as he focused back on the road. Meanwhile Dan took to reclining the seat back up. Once comfortable he pulled out a pack of smokes and went to light one, but stopped just as the flames licked the end. "Wait. How did I get in here? I fell asleep inside."

"Oh yeah. Heh, you must have had a good time, couldn't wake you up for nuthin! Had to drag your happy ass and plop you in the car. You're lucky you're my brother. Oh, and I forgot one of your shoes. Sorry."

Dan rolled his eyes and his toes, and knowing his sibling, actually feeling more lucky he even had his pants. "Yeah, I'm so blessed."

The sound of the highway took over, Dan lighting his cigarette and Craig turning the music up again, the sprawling hills and woodlands of Wisconsin zipping by.

"Wait. WAIT!"

Once again the car swerved into the other lane, narrowly missing a semi. It swerved back, skidding a bit before righting itself. "What? What is it, Dan?"

"Last night! Holy shit, dude, just... HOLY SHIT!"

"Bro don't scare me like that! I know I deserve some payback for earlier but at least wait until we're not driving!"

Dan shook his head. "No! I mean, yeah, sorry but really! I have to tell you about it! It was so incredible, I can't even..."

"Yeah I know, Dan, I've done it too. Been awhile, but when I've done it, I didn't really see much. Just some mish-mashed colors. I've heard Chance go on and on about his inspirational and spiritual journeys into his head, though. He says he's seen some amazing things, and worked out great problems easily." He took his eyes off the road and cast a sidelong glance at his brother. "Speaking of which, did you maybe clear your head enough to decide what you want to do now that you're free from that gas station?"

"That."

"'That,' what?' he asked, his brow furrowed.

"That! I want to build those! I want to use them." He bounced up and down in his seat. "That was, without a doubt, better than anything you or I have ever taken. I don't even know if I can do it again, but I'm going to do everything in my power to do it more."

"That good, huh?" Craig chuckled and shook his head. "I've never seen you worked up this much since you got that volunteer job at the ranch."

"Craig, I'm being absolutely serious when I say this: I love horses. I love to ride them, I love to take care of them. But this... Craig I feel as if I have all the power in the world! I just hummed a tune I liked and gave it time to clear my head and bam! I was in a concert hall, with so many people, and I could make out every face, every note of music. I. Was. There, Craig. And there was—"

Dan trailed off as he thought of the woman in the black dress. She was so vivid in his memory, more so than anything else he saw. Craig, though had been listening intently and did not take kindly to Dan trailing off. So he thumped him on the head.

"Ow! Damn it, Craig!"

"Sorry, but well? 'There was' what?"

"Well. It was this girl..."

Craig clasped his hand over his brother's mouth. "Stop! Seriously, don't need to hear about your wet, waking dream. Also, I swear to Christ if you did that in there I can never bring you back! That salt for the water is expensive, I think."

"Fuck off, man! I didn't... I just... y'know, never mind. Just drop me off at Lowe's. Also, if you really don't mind, I need to borrow that couple hundred bucks from you."

"What for?"

"I'm going to build a tank."

——————————————————————————————————

Okay, I'm not going to build a tank. Seriously, no plastic tubs? What, is every citizen in Colorado using them to grow now? Dan was lost in his thoughts as he walked along the streets of Milwaukee. After being turned down at every hardware store in town, and even perusing and deciding against the kiddie pools at the Hi-Mart, he was no where closer to his tank. He walked up along the shore of Lake Michigan and looked out, doing his best existential crisis-laden emo impression. I really don't want to have to drive all the way out there again. But this cash Craig gave me is only going to last so long.

Half an hour rolled passed with no solution in sight. The sound of the street and the waves of the lake calmed him, but did little to ease his frustration. Then along came another sound, metal on metal and glass on glass clinking and rusty wheels moving along the pavement. Dan lazily looked over to see a shopping cart piled full of cans and bottles pulling up next to him, followed soon by a hairy but familiar face.

"Hey Dee, what's shakin' bacon?"

"Hey, Little Burt. Where's Big E? And, uh, what are you doing with those?"

"Oh, he's down at the shelter. He caught some bug and I let him take my bed down there."

Burt walked up and shook Dan's hand, plopping himself down on the sidewalk with his cardboard sign at the ready. "Well that's too bad. You let him know I said hello and get better, eh?"

"Will do, although you will probably see him at the kitchen in a couple days. He's been getting better already. And as for all these," he gestured toward the cart as he spoke, "are all the cans I've collected over the past month. Going to take them in for the deposit."

"Ah, good to see you working again. Anything that helps, right? Any luck with a 'job' job though?"

"Nah, nothing yet. No one wants an old, homeless ex-con like me anyways. Besides, I'd end up with a shitty job like yours then, amirite?"

The two shared a chuckle. Burt and his "brother" he called Ernie were regulars down at the soup kitchen Dan worked at. Many a day was spent just sitting and talking with the wise and experienced man.

Dan sighed and resumed his forlorn stare at the lake. "Well, no worries there. Lost that job yesterday."

"Aw shit, man. Sorry to hear that. I know you didn't like it but a job's a job, right?"

"Yeah. But..." Dan stopped a moment, thinking to himself, Maybe he's got an idea. "Actually, I've got a new plan but it's, well, not working out yet."

"Oh? Well, tell me."

Dan turned to look the ragged man in the face. "You ever hear of a sensory deprivation tank?"

Burt's eyes crinkled, thinking hard about it. "No, but it sounds fairly straightforward. I spent my fair share of time in the hole when I did my time. Sounds scary."

"Well, sure. I can't imagine it'd be all that great being forced into it. But using it for relaxation and well, you're going to think it sounds silly but for, let's say 'a journey inwards.'"

"So like meditation?" Burt asked.

"Hmm, I suppose that's a good way to think of it. But anyway, I did it last night, and I feel far better than after anything else I've ever done in my life."

"That good, huh?" He chuckled.

"Better. But I've been trying to find out how to build one but I can't find the big plastic tub I need to float in. So the idea is kind of moot at this point."

"You need to float to do this?"

"Well, I'm not totally sure. I haven't done my research on it yet, but I figured the best way would be to do it the way I did it before, right?"

Burt hummed in thought and did his own glance at the lake. "You know..." he started slowly, "when they would put me in the hole, I would see things sometimes."

Dan's head whipped around to stare at the man. "Like what?" he near whispered.

"Faces, usually. Of friends. My kids. My wife. Sometimes I would get scared because I would see a guard's face, or the warden's, but then I'd hear my kids laughing. It helped. But, what I'm saying is this: maybe you don't need the tank. I did my own 'journey inwards' as you say, and I was on a concrete floor. Maybe you just need to be comfortable. Then block out the light and sound."

His face fell to a more somber tone as he looked Dan right in the eye. "I have to say though. You may be doing this for relaxation, but your mind will do as it wants. Be careful what you find in there. It could be yourself, as your really are, or as what you were or could become. It can break you. Don't get broke, man. You're a good man, and I'd hate to see anything like what I saw happen to the people in solitary, happen to you."

Dan nodded and stood up. "Every time we meet, you help me with my problems more than I do for you."

"Hey, I may be without a place to sleep every night. Doesn't mean I can do what I can to help others."

"Thank you, Burt, really. I'll uh, give it a try and let you know, alright?" He smiled and clasped his hand on the man's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Don't forget to tell E I said hi."

Dan walked away from the shoreline sidewalk back to the street. He could hear Burt yell back but he was already on his phone. "Hello, Millennium Cab? I need a ride to Wade's Guitar Shop."

——————————————————————————————————

Covered in glue and hands sore from the old staple gun in his hand, he stepped back from his small walk-in closet. It had taken every penny he borrowed, but he got enough sound proofing foam to cover his entire closet. He walked in and shut the door, holding his breath and smiling hearing that no sound would get through. And the light was totally blocked out by garbage bags on the door edges. He walked back out and grabbed his old air mattress and a couple pillows and threw them in.

"Not too shabby." His smile dropped a bit. "Okay, it's shabby as all Hell. But, let's see what we can do."

He undressed and closed the door behind him, poking and prodding at bits of plastic letting tiny bits of light in. Once satisfied, he laid down and shut his eyes.

*CHIRP*

And open once more they were. He sat up and turned the small light on, trying to find the cricket stuck in there with him. But after a few minutes of searching he gave up. He'd just have to have a roommate for the time being. He clicked the light off and laid back down, trying to ignore the Hellspawned insect.

*CHIRP CHIRP*

Aaand there's another one. Nice.

*CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP*

"What the Hell..."

That was just not his day. Finally a solution and fish bait was ruining it. One cricket was enough. Then there was two. Then more. Maybe it was the lack of outside sound he figured but they were getting louder and louder and more numerous with each passing minute. He could see up above him the lights beginning to form. But whether it was from the stress or the noise, they never got the bright colors and shapes he had before. There they stayed, millions of tiny white dots just out of his reach.

Finally after what felt like an age, he threw his arms up over his head and sighed dejectedly. "This is never going to work."

"What won't work?"

His heart stopped and he turned his head away from the lights. His head swiveled until his eyes met a pair of blue ones. There, laying next to him was the woman from the concert! Although, considerably less dressed up than before, with only a tee shirt and sweatpants to separate her and the grass she was laying on. They were laying on.

Holy shit I'm outside. He looked back up at the lights. Stars.

He chuckled a bit and turned to face her on his side. His mind was blown by the mental ICBM in front of him, but rather than freak out, he figured he should just roll with it all.

"So... nice night tonight."

She swept a bit of blue hair from her face and smiled. "Thank you."

His look of confusion only lasted a moment, "Um, you're welcome?" But it morphed back into a smile when she laughed. "So, what's your name?"

"I'm Luna, what's your name?"

"Oh you don't know? Would have thought you would, being in my head and all."

She laughed harder. "In your head? I'm as real as can be."

His sly grin caught her off guard. "All my hallucinations say that. But anyway, my name's Dan."

"Hmm, such an odd name. And I insist I'm not a hallucination."

"Said the lady who's name is Latin."

"You're Latin!" she huffed, turning away from him.

"No, I'm Canadian."

She rolled back to stare at him quizzically.

"Eh." he added.

Her brow furrowed more. "'Eh' what?" she asked.

"Exactly."

"..."

The dam broke as Dan and Luna burst into laughter, the latter clutching her sides. "Oho! You are odd, but I haven't laughed like that in years. It's been so lonely up here, and after last year I thought you'd never come back."

Dan wiped a tear from his eye as his mirth died down. "Heh, what are you talking about, I just saw you last night."

"No Mr. Dan. It's been nearly a year. I know it's hard for me to keep total track of time, but I can see the changing of the seasons from here."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "It's been less than twenty-four hours."

She was silent for a moment before sitting up and gesturing for him to follow. "Tell me... what do you see around you now?"

Dan followed suit and took a hard look around. It was a peaceful meadow, with soft grass and flowers with colorful pedals closed for the night. The only thing that surprised him was the modest castle being practically swallowed up by the stand of gnarled trees extending into the night. Portions of the roof were torn off and the inside completely dark. And further past that, stood a great mountain, with just a smattering of tiny lights on one side. It was too far away in the night to properly tell, but he swore he could see scaffolding hanging off the side and glinting in the pale moonlight.

"It's a beautiful field. If it wasn't for that mountain range there I'd say it was Iowa or maybe Illinois."

She sighed and hung her head. "It is not the same for me. What I see may be home, but it is an empty and unforgiving home."

She turned her teary eyes to him. "A-and, what do I look like?"

Dan blushed, looking her over carefully. Her pale skin shone in soft light, but her large blue eyes lit up with the light of the stars. She was lithe, but not gangling, with her hair pulled back but draped over her shoulder.

"To be honest, I see a gorgeous woman."

"Woman? Is that what you call the female of your kind?" she asked.

"My kind? Luna, what are you talking about?" Frowning, Dan scooted closer and put a hand on her shoulder. "Tell me, Luna. What do you see?"

She looked in his eyes, seeing the genuine concern. Concern from someone he actually thought was a hallucination. "If you want to know, it will be easier to show you."

"What do you me—" Dan started, but was cut off as she leaned her forehead towards him, and in a bright blue flash that caused him to jump back, she was gone. In her place, was a small, blue horse with wings and a rather sharp looking horn sticking out from the shimmering locks of hair. The horse's eyes were clenched shut, as if waiting for the scorn from an angry parent. Dan jumped up and stared. "Luna?"

The horse slowly opened its eyes to reveal the same blue orbs that were there before. But filled with sorrow instead of glee. "Aye, it is I, caring Dan. 'Tis not an illusion thou seest, but mine true form."

Clarity had all but abandoned Dan by then, lowering himself back down to his knees in front of her. Gently he reached and arm out and touched his fingers to her cheek. She returned the touch with a soft feather to his own with her wing. "'Tis not all, Sir Dan. Turneth your gaze upon my home." Her wing turned his head and Dan got a good look at where he was.

"My Gods... No. No, no, no! This isn't real!"

"I can assure thee, this is the truth." She said as she leaned a little closer in to catch his eye. He stumbled back from her, breathing heavily.

"W-wait! We beg of thee! Please, do not leave us!" She jumped to her hooves and moved closer, stopping when he backed further away.

"No! I want out!" He pulled at his hair and clenched his eyes. "Let me out!"

He opened his eyes again and was actually relieved to see nothing but darkness. Shifting from side to side, he could tell he was on the air mattress again. He sighed deep and fell face first onto his pillows. "What the Hell was I thinking? Shit, never again." He stood up and pulled at the foam on the walls. Feeling something poke at his foot, he flipped the light back on and looked down at his feet.

"...No. Freaking. Way."

Reaching down and plucking it from its spot on the mattress, he could only stare in disbelief at the blue feather grasped in his hand.

——————————————————————————————————

She hadn't cried that hard since she had first been sent there. Her tears fell into the powdery dirt that kicked up, staining and matting her coat. She could wash it away easily with barely a thought, but why care, she figured. He will not return. He never will.

And so she wept, crying up at the blue and green ball in the sky, knowing that nopony or no one will come for her, care for her, or even give a second glance at the subtly glowing orb in the night skies of Equestria.