How the 2" destroyer came to be

by Mooner_178

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 1123

What had happened to the poor soul that is now Enrique the 2" destroyer?

^ Prequel
Enrique the 2" destroyer, once a god, now dead, let's look back on his life and see how his destructive nature came to be?

*Rated teen for big boy words and complete stupidity

You've been warned.

Published 2014-11-27 04:40:10 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-27 04:40:10 UTC

This Prequel was unnecessary

This day was not like any other; for this day was the day that Enrique became the 2" destroyer!

Enrique was only fourteen years old at the time and was still going to middle school, for he had failed a year and needed to retake it. Instead of going to school like he promised his poppy flower, formerly known as his father, he went into the woods near the school. Enrique was such a troublesome boy when he was young...er? He would break vases and litter the ground with ashes, sometimes even attempting demon rituals! What a rapscallion! So his father in response to such frivolous behavior, beat young Enrique for he knew no better.

On that day where he entered the woods, he traversed his normal path, before thinking to himself that he should probably explore for a bit, having never done so in the past, Enrique decided he might as well take a look around, After all you never know what you might find! He told himself.  The ground turned from the even path made from many, to undergrowth and shrubs. Amongst these bushes was a dollar! Can you believe it? The Author certainly can't! This excited Enrique so, deeper in he went. The canopy began to thicken and the sound of wildlife began to die off, like roadkill setting in the sun. Enrique took no notice of either of the two effects and increased his pace to find something and find something he did! The Moist Chasm of Destiny!

Moist rock tunnels opened to a cavern. In the middle of the cavern, there was a pencil, but not just any pencil. It was one of the few with the very power to hop dimensions and cause a conundrum through time and space. Unbeknownst to him, Enrique was teleported from his world to another! Pocketing the pencil Enrique began to hop along as unease drilled it's way into his foot. His foot now uneasy decided to fall asleep causing Enrique to trip and fall quite a distance. The ground gave away to a slanted slope with an overhang at the end. After his near death experience Enrique sure was scared. This however did not stop him from looking over the edge and into the abyss unto which the first sight of the glorious waste of money sat before him. Unknown to him, this castle, Canterlot castle was where he was going to become The 2" Destroyer.

Making a steady descent, he did take note of the absurdity of being on a mountain, considering their were no mountains near his town.

SOME TIME LATER

Enrique finally came to the city gate, bewildered he gaped at the ponies clad in gold armor. His mind unable to take what was going on anymore decided to snap, walking up to the ponies, Enrique shouted, "Horse people! I come in peace!" This caught their attention and raising their spears, aimed them at Enrique.

"Halt!"

The ponies quickly detained Enrique and brought him to the dungeon... dun, dun, dun! This however was where the transformation first step took place.

As Enrique sat their in his cell wondering how in the hell his life got messed up so bad, a ball of light appeared in his cell.

"Hey! Listen!"

"No." Enrique replied.

"Hey! Listen!"

"No."

"Hey! HEY! LISTEN!"

"Okay. What do you want?"

"HEY! LIS- Oh, I can get you out of here."

Enrique's interest was piqued.

"If you go to the bed chamber of Princess Celestia, therein lies an artifact of great power. I will lend you strength to bypass any guards."

Not sensing the trap for what it was, Enrique hastily agreed. The ball of light blinked out of existence, Enrique however felt more powered up than Jack Springer with cake. Ripping the bars off of the cell Enrique slapped aside any who opposed him. Enrique not yet at full power could not take on any thing more than a few mortals at a time. Fortunately that's exactly what he encountered.

Making his way to Celestia's bedchamber was as easy as licking a popsicle, only with more muscles involved. Upon entering the room, all his power left him; the ball of light reappeared. Enrique not knowing what else to do followed the orb into a room leading out of Celestia's bedchamber. Inside was a pedestal.

Upon that pedestal was a...

a...

"The great object of power is a fucking banana?!"

"Eat it." The orb commanded.

"Okay." Eating the banana, Enrique felt the power of a million horses in his chest. That's one heck of a car!

But what he also felt was the removal of all that Enrique was and the placement of a new persona.

Enrique the 2" destroyer.

With destruction on his mind and a dildo in hand he smashed open the one and only window in the room and proceeded to eject his body out of it at inhuman speeds. The force of his body hitting the ground shattered the hopes and dreams of a filly and caused the ponies in the square to freak the pony out and lick water.

Princess Luna alongside Celestia confronted Enrique; with his powers of destruction he crumpled a tin foil ball and threw it at the Princesses causing 1 Hp in damage! What a playa! This annoyance enraged the two causing them to go super saiyan.

"Creature! We will tolerate thee no longer! Get thee gone, or we shalt rid of thou mine self!" Princess Luna commanded angrily.

Princess Celestia followed up with, "What she said!"

Enrique gave a grin that would kill Smile.jpg and pulled a whoopie cushion out of his finger and blew into it forming a pretzel, this pretzel was secretly a 200g bomb! Throwing it unlike Babe Ruth does a fastball, the two could only, barely, really hope to dodge it. Unfortunately It was a homing missile, so Luna died and had to wait 1000 years on the Moon to respawn. Celestia absolutely livid now could barely control her rage. Firing concentrated bolts of horn semen did nothing to assail Enrique, for he had the mlg1337skil1z of a true noscoper and dodged them with sticks of butter.

She charged Enrique five dollars and then charged Enrique with her horn, right before contact, Enrique the 2" destroyer ripped off his shirt of masculinity and showed off his precious man boobs in which she could only faint at the horrendous stench coming from within. Before Enrique could proclaim his victory over the sisters his pocket vibrated as the pencil he conveniently forgot about conveniently teleported him and itself back to Earth.

He landed on his face not unlike an elephant.

Time to wreak havoc as Enrique the 2" Destroyer.