Doctor Whooves and Friends

by TheDanishGuy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 10537

The Doctor must survive the change to Equestria while searching for his way home.

The Doctor falls through a glitch in time and space, and meets Ditzy Doo, who accompanies him on his journey to find a missing Tardis piece, which has been stoled by a mysterious enemy ...

EDIT: My writer's block has broken, and the story is back on track!
Huge thanks to Megakyle777, who suggested my villain's Cutie Mark, which I've modified a bit since.

EDIT2: Fixed some things in Chapter 2. Not spelling errors per se, more like things that didn't carry the meaning I wanted them to.

Published 2012-04-28 06:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-25 22:02:33 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a warm, sunny day in Ponyville, when an object came hurling down from the sky.
The ponies ran in terror around the village. Nopony told them there would be a meteor shower that day!
The object, a big blue box, crashed to the ground between Ponyville and the Everfree Forest, leaving a giant crater.
A large crowd of about twenty ponies assembled by the crater to investigate the blue phonebooth-like meteor, which was laying on its side.
A lightbrown colt with a brown mane, blue eyes, and an hourglass for a Cutie Mark stumbled out of
the door.
”Blrr.” he said and whirred his head.
”You're …. Ponies.” he continued.
”Old girl, what have you done to me now?” he asked angrily, and bucked the spaceship.
He then put his hoof to his head.
”Oh dear, I seem to be passing out. You there!” he pointed to a green unicorn pony with a lyre for a Cutie Mark standing on the field in the middle of the crowd.
”Me, sir?” she replied confused.
”Yes, you.” He stepped out of the dusty crater. ”And don't call me sir, I work for a living. Or, well, at least I used to, until the government on my planet went sour. Damn that Rassilon …. So now I just travel from planet to planet in different eras. But ponies …. Why, in all my 907 years, I've never seen such a thing.”
”Excuse me, mister, but are you mad?” a cream-coloured pony with a dark-blue mane with a pink stripe in it inquired.
”We're all a bit mad here ….” the colt replied, his eyes bulging and rolling in his sockets.
”Auu. Okay, hurry now. I need a ful-body mirror, because I think this universe has changed my appearance, a green tie, since I can't seem to find mine, and ….”
He stopped and looked at the crowd beggingly.
”Ehm, does this world have muffins? I could use one to boost my system.”
”Of course, mister! I'll get those things for you right away!” an orange-haired pony shouted enthusiastically.
”Splendid, you go do that.” the alien pony said with a smile.
Then the mysterious pony collapsed, right then and there.
”Somepony, call a doctor!” he heard.
”A doctor? For me?” the stranger thought.
”Fancy that! How ironic ….”
He sank into blackness.

* * *

”He is okay.” doctor Redheart told the nervous crowd.
He put his stetoscope back into the pocket on his doctor's jacket and scratched his dirtblonde mane.
”He is in a shocked state because of the way he arrived, but he'll come around, just wait.
Though, I found something unusual about him; he has two hearts. They beat in regular unison, so he wasn't in any danger, but it is very strange. He is definitely not from Equestria. But look, he's waking up!”
The alien pony rose to his legs wobbly, whirred his head and blinked.
”So you're the doctor, eh? Thanks for examining me, but there was really no need. I just need a bit of food, then I'm good.” He smiled at the heavy set dark brown colt.
”Now, have you gathered my requested items yet?”
”Yes, mister, all but the muffins.” the same orange-maned yellow pony answered.
”And why is that?” the mysterious stranger asked conversationally, while he clumsily put on the blue tie and studied himself in the full-body mirror.
”Hey!” he said to himself while the pony answered him. ”Not too shabby. Mane's a bit too long, and the eyes are odd, but other than that, I'm a strapping young lad – er, colt – here.”
The pony stopped talking.
The colt finally paid attention to her, and said apologetically: ”Excuse me, would you please repeat that? I was lost in my own reflection for a bit there.”
The orange-haired pony rolled her eyes and repeated: ”Like I said, mister: I couldn't bring you any muffins, because my roommate Ditzy Doo emptied my fridge.”
Suddenly, a grey, blonde-maned pegasus came tumbling down onto the scene, her expression as crossed as her eyes.
She stood up clumsily, and stared angrily at the speaking pony the best she could.
”Those were my muffins, Carrot Top! You put them on my side of the fridge!”
she yelled furiously.
”Whatever. I bought those with my own bits, Derpy Hooves!” Carrot Top answered chilly.
”That's NOT my name!!” Ditzy Doo shrieked at her.
”Wait,” the bi-hearted pony interrupted with a slight giggle, ”Carrot Top? Ditzy Doo? Are you all named for your personalities?”
”What about yourself?” Ditzy Doo asked.
The alien stood up tall.
”I'm the Doctor!” he said proudly.
Everypony in the crowd started laughing.
The Doctor sat down on his rump, ears flat on his head, ashamed.
”Then you're one to talk!” the green pony with a lyre for a Cutie Mark yelled with laughter, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.
”I mean …. Doctor? Doctor Who?” she continued with a smile.
The Doctor looked slightly confused.
”Well, usually ”The Doctor” sufficies, but ….”
He stared at his two front hooves, which he lifted in front of his face.
”I guess you can call me Doctor Whooves for the time being.” he concluded.
Some in the crowd giggled.
”That's even worse!” they yelped with laughter.
The Doctor stood up tall on all four hooves and snorted, eyebrows furrowed.
”Well, if you're just going to harass me, I might as well try to head home. This crash inter-
rupted my important farewell tour, too. Farewell, my little ponies!”
Several in the crowd waved goodbye to him as he stepped into his spaceship, that seemed almost bigger on the inside, all while laughing at this strange pony.

Chapter 2

The shadowed pony stepped forward in the candlelit ice cave, giggling madly.
”We are all here!” the colt bellowed. ”And soon, Doctor, you'll be right where I want you ….”
The giggle rose into a maniac's laughter, as all the candles in the cave went out at once.

* * *

The Doctor trotted slowly back into his TARDIS, the spaceship that is bigger on the inside than the outside, and sighed lightly.
”Those Ponies were horrible! I need to find a way to get out of this body and universe!”
He looked down at his hooves.
”And fortunately for me, the ”Get Out of a Universe” sequence doesn't require any delicate handling of things, like dialing. Good thing, too, or I'd be in a dire situation with these new hooves.”
He flicked some switches, pulled some levers, pressed some buttons, and finally lifted a hammer placed in his mouth, and banged the side of the console with it.
The engine made that wooshing sound he enjoyed so much, and off he went.
The TARDIS stopped with a whirr, and he jumped to the doors.
”Great!” he exclaimed.
”Finally! Goodbye crazy pony world, hello ….” he opened the doors while speaking, eyes clenced with anticipation.
”... Eng …. land?”
He looked out at the town square of a tiny town, with a bakery by it. This wasn't London, for sure.
A pink pony came out of the bakery, and skipped towards Doctor Whooves, as he stepped out of the big blue box he called home.
”Uuh, you're a new face! Hi! Oh, wait! You're the Doctor, aren't you? I mean, Doctor Whooves?”
she rambled off quickly.
”Yes, I am. How did you know?”
”Oh, the pegasuses fly fast with news in Ponyville.” she smiled.
”Don't you mean pegasii?”
”No, that's racist.” she answered quickly, the same smile on her face.
”Where have I heard that before ….” the colt muttered.
”I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way. What are you doing here in Equestria?”
”Well, I crashlanded here, and something is keeping me from leaving. And seeing as I traded my jacket for a, er, coat, I was wondering if you could help me pack a bag?”
”Sure! But can't you do that yourself?” she asked puzzled.
”Well, I wasn't always a pony, you see. I have trouble operating things with hooves.”
”Oki-doki-Loki!” she agreed with a smile.
He packed a brown saddlebag with his sonic screwdriver, (”I'll learn to hold it sometime.”)
food supplies (”You can never go wrong with a banana in your bag.”) and his black-rimmed glasses
(”You never know when you need to look clever.”).
Finally, they were all set, and the old alien rushed out the doors, only to butt heads with a lavender unicorn pony.
”Oww! Pinkie, what is this place? Who is that, too?” she asked, pointing to the groggy colt on the spaceship floor.
”And here I thought news travel fast in Ponyville, hmm?” he remarked sarcastically.
”Well, they do, stranger, but I've been in my library all day, studying. I just came by to see if Pinkie wanted to go visit Rarity, and then I got curious about this …. big blue box thing, standing by Sugarcube Corner.”
”Oh, I'd love to!” the pink pony answered ecstatically. ”Do you want to come to Rarity's clothes shop, too, Doctor? By the way, this is my friend Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, this is the alien Doctor Whooves.”
The one spoken about got to his hooves, shook Twilight's hoof with a bit of effort, and answered Pinkie: ”Well, since the radiation is negated by this universe, and that an unknown force is keeping me here, I guess we can go visit her boutique together.”
”Uuh, that's what she calls it, too!” Pinkie yelled gleefully, bouncing up and down on the spot.
The trio went outside, and the brown pony locked the box' double doors with the key in his mouth.
”You know, I've always liked the little local shops. Keeps the economy flowing.”
Enroute, Twilight pulled out a book with her magic horn from her saddlebags, and began reading while trotting away to the boutique.
”How'd you do that?” he asked. ”Magic.” was the short simple answer.
The colt shut up about it, except for a giddy giggle.
Doctor Whooves struck up a conversation after walking a bit.
”So, this Ponyville you live in, where in your world is it located? For that matter, what is this world called? My controls gave me no indications.”
”Wow, you really are from another planet.” Twilight said.
”You can say that again.” the bi-hearted colt murmured, while the trio passed by the well-kept flowerbeds and small houses.
”Well, I don't know exactly where in Equestria it is, but it is somewhere between Manehattan to the east and Las Pegasus to the west, and a day's travel by train from Canterlot.” the lavender pony answered, still reading her book floating in the air in front of her by magic.
”Pony version of America, eh? Funny names, though. Do you have a Fillydelphia, too?”
”As a matter of fact, we do.” Pinkie Pie interjected.
Doctor Whooves dropped flat on his back laughing.
The girls waited for him to finish chortling and giggling, staring awkwardly at him while he got up and asked again: ”So, what's that city up there?” and pointed to the settlement seemingly afloat in a partly clouded sky a mile or so from the grounded Ponyville.
”That is Cloudsdale, home of the pegasus ponies. They are in charge of changing the weather.”
”Oh, right, of course. Anything goes in Equestria.” the old colt nodded.
”But dare I ask who your ruler is?”
”It is Princess Celestia, my mentor, and her little sister, Princess Luna. They raise the Sun and the Moon, respectively, and live in Canterlot, my former home.”
Twilight pointed to a large city with towers gleaming in the midday sun on the mountainside in the distance.
The Doctor suppressed a laughter, and breathed ”Be nice, be nice.”. He got a hold of himself, and asked one last question: ”I've seen three different kinds of ponies here. Which ones are they?”
”They are alicorns, an exceedingly rare amalgamation of Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus ponies.” Twilight answered.
”Whomever belongs to that race, or is a descendant of it, gets to call themself Prince or Princess.”
”Fancy that! An unique race reigning supreme in ways of their species' rareness! I think I am going to enjoy my stay here!”
The ponies all smiled at Doctor Whooves' newfound happiness, including himself.
They'd been walking and talking at the same time, and now they passed a lot of market stalls where different ponies sold out of their belongings.
Twilight and Doctor Whooves started to discuss astronomy, while Pinkie bounced around the stalls, doing equal amounts for banter and barter, showing great skill at both.
She came back to the debaters with her arms full of stuff, dropping it off in a big pile on the ground in front of them.
”Anyways, your girlfriend seems nice.” she remarked casually to the Doctor while studying her newly bought odds and ends.
”My girlfr-” he stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, his jaw unhinged with the realization, and stared at the pink pony on the ground.
”You've been talking to the TARDIS?!”
”Uh-huh. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.” she reeled off while sorting her knick-knack.
”She thinks you're cute.”
He blushed slightly and took a few steps back in embarrassment.
”But how did this happen?”
Pinkie stopped making faces into a small shiny copper ladle, and looked up at him with shimmering blue eyes.
”Well, I was in the back of the crowd, and my Pinkie Sense acted up when you passed out.”
”Wait, Pinkie Sense?” the alien interrupted.
”So, you're Spider-Mare?” he chuckled.
”No, silly Doctor! That was yesterday. Now I'm just Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight gave him a ”Just roll with it” look, and he closed his gaping mouth.
Twilight closed her book and put it back in her saddlebag.
Her new friend nodded for Pinkie to continue, and they both perked their ears with interest.
”As I was saying: My Pinkie Sense was doing burning flank and wiggly mane, which means something fun and mysterious is nearby. I went inside the big blue box, and a booming voice started
speaking to me.”
”And?” the listeners leaned in closer.
”She told me to tell her Doctor that her trans-flux warp conductor had gone missing.”
The colt lightened up: ”Of course!”.
”But why didn't she tell me herself?”
”I asked her that too. She said something about a hammer and spousal abuse.”
”Oooh. Oh.”. He blushed again.
Pinkie looked at the copper ladle again. ”This is really good quality! It's a keeper!”
With Twilight's purply glowing magic, Doctor Whooves found his dark-rimmed glasses, and read the head of the ladle. ”Well, of course!” he nodded. ”It says ”made in England”. Only quality copper from there. Not even Malongee could beat their produce, and that was a planet made entirely of copper!”
”But what happend to the device, then?” he asked, getting back on topic.
She looked sorry and put her hooves out facing up in an apologising manner.
”She couldn't say. She said it had nothing to do with her past grudges against you. She suspected a cloaking device. By the way, there was a food stand nearby, so from one child of chaos to another (that's what she called us both), here you go:”
She tossed two blueberry muffins to Doctor Whooves, who quickly grabbed at them with both his front hooves, and munched them down before he could drop them on the ground.
”Ooh, thanks! I'm all better now. Shall we continue?”
”You bet!” the girls agreed in unison, and with the colt in the lead, his blue eyes gleaming, they reached Rarity's boutique in a fast trot.
The trio entered Rarity's boutique, where they noticed a cyan pegasus modeling in a pompous dress for a snowy white unicorn in stylish orange-rimmed glasses.
”Rainbow Dash, what are you doing modeling for Rarity?” Twilight asked.
”I was promised Wonderbolts tickets.” Rainbow Dash answered sourly, her wings erect through the dark-blue dress.
”But now I'm starting to think she doesn't have any!”
She glared down from the podium at Rarity, who laughed indulgently.
”Oh, you'll get them in due time. Now, be a dear and sit still, all right?”
The pegasus sighed, and the four other ponies laughed.
”Enchanté, mademoiselle. Je m'appelle le Docteur.” he introduced himself to Rarity, and kissed her hoof. She nearly fainted from the gallantry, until Rainbow pointed out she wasn't going to stand there all day.
Rarity spoke to him while examining the hoof-made dress, asking if he'd been to France, and how it was there. Doctor Whooves answered yes.
”But I didn't get to see the views a lot. I was too busy staring into the eyes of ….” his voice trailed off, leaving a blank stare. Rarity respected his privacy of being lost in memory, and turned to the other unicorn with a message:
”By the way, Twilight, I've fixed Smarty Pants' eye for you.” Rarity pulled out a pony doll in a vest with her bluish glowing magic horn from a dresser, and sure enough, there was a fresh new button eye, black as the night.
Twilight's face flushed. She smiled awkwardly, nodded her thanks to the dressmaker, and quickly tugged the battered ragdoll into one of her light-grey saddlebags.
Doctor Whooves snickered at her, and began looking around the boutique, noticing large chests of drawers and cupboards with gems neatly sorted in categories, mannequins with beautifully adorned cloaks and dresses on them, and in the back was ….
”Aaaah! A dragon!” he yelled, and leaped 3 hooves backwards.
”Aaaah! A pony!” the dragon yelled back, laughing.
”Ha, who's this wacky guy?” the purple miniature dragon asked the crowd while getting to his feet,
leaving gems of lower quality behind, which he was sorting out, apparently for consumption, as he ate a ruby while asking.
”Spike, this is Doctor Whooves. He's from …. a long way from here.”
”Gallopfrey!” Pinkie shouted.
”I …. what?” the colt mumbled.
The pink pony nodded heavily. ”That's what your girlfriend told me your planet is called!”
He sighed and said nothing of it, as if he'd finally realised and accepted the craziness of the baker.
”And you are?”
”Spike the Dragon. Twilight's assistant. I came over for lunch at Rarity's. She had some gems she didn't need.” He gazed lovingly at the purple-maned unicorn, who didn't notice him, but adjusted a crease in Rainbow Dash's jewel-adorned dress.
Spike scratched the green spikes on his back and head, and mumbled: ”So, you're an alien?”.
”Indeed.” the questioned answered, and went on: ”You have claws. Maybe you can control this?”
He pulled out his blue-tipped sonic screwdriver, the universal lockpick and research device, from his backpack, and threw it over to Spike.
”Why didn't you ask one of us?” Rainbow Dash demanded.
”Well, I don't trust those hooves handling my screwdriver. I'm sorry, so sorry.”
”You will be real sorry if you don't learn to trust us soon.” she said brashfully.
”Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to argue with you. Press the right button on your left. Yeah, the green one. Does it say ”Readout in progress”?”
Spike nodded.
”Good. Keep pressing it.” A bleep was heard. ”Aha! What does it say now?”
”It says: ”Equine Lifeform Detected.”. And there's an image of you.”
”It is as I feared.” he said glumly. ”I am a pony.”
”Oooh, really?!” Rainbow Dash noted sarcastically, balancing on one hind leg for the demanding dressmaker. ”And here I thought you were an alligator!”
”Yeah, like my pet Gummy!” Pinkie blurted out.
A white fat cat and a light-green toothless alligator shuffled out of the adjacent room which contained a bed, and into the workspace.
Rarity's eyes lighted up behind the glasses.
”Ooh, hello, Opalescence! Did Mummy's kitty have a nice widdle nap?”
The cat ignored her and jumped up on a pony-shaped mannequin.
”Oh, no, Opal, that's my new dress, you can't ….” she protested, but her pet just hissed at her, and curled up in a ball.
Gummy grabbed Pinkie's tail, and she lifted him in the air.
”Did you have a fun time with Auntie Rarity?” the baker asked.
The reptile just blinked his light purple eyes, being silent.
”Oh, it was horrendous!” the tailor wailed.
”That monstrosity ate my glue and glitter and drooled all over my floor!”
”Gummy is just expressing himself.” Pinkie defended, smiling.
”No, this has gone too far! If it doesn't learn to behave itself, I will not take care of it anymore!”
The argument went on, becoming heated, with Doctor Whooves trying to settle things with a meek ”Ladies, ladies ….” once in a while, before being interrupted by the crisp ring of the doorbell, and two ponies draped in shadows entered the boutique ….

Chapter 3

Doctor Whooves turned his head with the others, curiously looking at the gray pegasus mare and blindingly white unicorn stallion entering the boutique.
His confused look became one of recognition.
”It's Derp--”
Rainbow Dash swooped over to him on fast wings, planting a blue hoof in his mouth.
”Shush, you idiot!” she whispered.
”Do you want to get bucked in the face?”
He shook his head with a pained look on his face.
She realized she'd been pressing too hard, and removed her hoof with an apologising smile.
”Nopony calls Ditzy Doo Derpy Hooves! It was a mocking nickname created by the jocks at the young fliers school.”
”Like Rainbow Crash!” Pinkie yelled, literally jumping into the conversation.
”Yes, Pinkie Pie. Like they called me Rainbow Crash.” she sighed, putting her left hoof to her face.
”Eh, Rainbow Dash, that hoof's been in my gob.” he commented, cringing a bit.
She quickly removed it.
”And what's that gesture, anyways?”
”Oh, the facehoof? It's used to signal something embarrassing or silly.”
She glared down at Pinkie, who smiled innocently.
”Don't you have that where you're from?”
”Well, yes, but in a slightly different form. Oh, the whimsy of this universe ….”
”Anyways, as I was saying,” Rainbow Dash began, lowering herself back onto the ground and getting back on track.
”You're a stranger to her, so she's more likely to just smack you a couple than shout at you.”
the over-dressed pegasus explained.
”Bah, I can shout with the best of 'em!” the colt exclaimed.
”The Sycorax cowered at my bellowing! Why, if the Dovahkiin was here, he'd admire me too!” he boasted.
”Well, he's not.” Twilight added.
”He left a couple of days ago, in fact.”
Both ponies shuddered at this.
The Doctor went silent for a bit, before thinking of something.
”But wait, that other pony got off scotch-free back when I first landed! Why was that?”
”That's because, despite all their ups and downs, Golden Harvest and Ditzy Doo are still rommies a-
nd good friends. She even lets her use her nickname, Carrot Top. She also likes her home-made carrot muffins.”
The unicorn, having explored the entirety of the Carousel Boutique during the conversation, finally
addressed the group with a welcoming smile and a charming ”Hello, ladies.”.
The four mares blushed, as neither of them had been flirted with like this before.
”Stop it!” Doctor Whooves intervened with a frown, then remembered his manners.
”Oh, I'm sorry, I really am! You see, I had this friend long ago, who kept ….”
”Doctor, it's me.” the stallion interrupted with a slight smile.
Doctor Whooves looked like someone's Mum had just slapped him again, then regained his calmness a bit before asking Rarity: ”Mademoiselle, is there a place where I can speak with him in private?”
Rarity pointed a hoof at a back room, looking puzzled at the newcomer.
The sole male ponies in the room rushed to the other, which appeared to be a unlit storage room with a tiny window, and boxes of linen stacked neatly, waiting for use.
The colt closed the door behind them, and locked it with the sonic screwdriver flashing bluishly in his mouth.
”Jack?” he began slowly, unsure, after putting the screwdriver back in his bag.
”Captain Jack Harkness?!”
He nodded, the perpetual smile on his face changing to a knowing one.
”The very same. Although here I've taken the alias James S. Coltton.”
”What does the S stand for?”
”Stallion.” he winked slyly.
The Earth pony rolled his eyes. ”Of course it does. But …. how did you end up here?”
The handsome unicorn shrugged.
”I have no idea. My votex manipulator just started to glow in an unhealthy kiwi.green colour, and next thing I know I was here. It's a month or so ago.
I'd just come back to Earth after recovering from what happend to its children, too ….”
They both bowed their heads in sadness.
”Yes, I heard …. But this world is weird, I mean, look at us!” he said cheerfully.
”Yeah, an Earth pony. Fitting for you, old man. You were always plain. And your Cutie Mark?”
He inspected Doctor Whooves a bit too thoroughly.
”An hourglass? Ooh, I see, because you're a Time Lord! Ha, this place pulled one on you, didn't
it?” he grinned.
”Ha, look who's talking!” he laughed back.
”Why are you a unicorn?”
James looked up at his horn.
”The universe recognized my magic with the ladies, of course.”
”And the blooming rose?” Doctor Whooves pointed a hoof at his Cutie Mark.
”Think about it.” he nudged, the impudent smile appearing again.
Doctor Whooves stared blankly for a second, then looked as if an exclaimation point had formed above his head.
”Ooh, I see! Clever!” he grinned.
”So, what's this world like?” he asked.
”The technology I've narrowed down to around 1700-1900, judging from an Earth viewpoint.
Although the pink one out there,” he pointed a hoof at the carved ornamented door, ”can apparently predict the future, since she has ”dabbled in lasers”.”
He sighed and rolled his shining eyes.
”No wonder everypony thinks she's crazy.”
His eyes widened a second.
”Oh, blimey, I've gone native.”
The Doctor chuckled, then asked if he needed to know anything more.
”Yes, this place has monsters everywhere.” Coltton said, stroking his obsidian mane.
”Bah!” his friend scoffed.
”Every report of monsters ever had turned out to be aliens. Ancient aliens, sometimes. Heck, there was even one case of a sexy red-skinned ancient alien Queen!”
They looked each other dead in the eyes for a moment, before throwing their arms around each other's necks, laughing and crying at the absurdity.
”But why did you seek me out, you old alien cad?” the colt asked with a grin while wiping his face clean with a hoof.
”As I said, I've been here a month, being invited to every get-together Pinkie has thrown. It got a smidgen old in the long run, so when the mailmare out there wanted to meet you, I obliged.
She knew I was the best choice, as I've appeared in Ponyville as sudden as your crash.
I traced your energy signature with a bit of tech I had on me, and here we are.”
”Okay then, let's go hear what she has to say.” he nodded, and the unicorn opened the door back to the main room in a flash of dark red magic enveloping it.
They exited at the end of a lively conversation between the mares about the visitors from outer space.
The room went silent, and the mailmare rushed up to the colt.
Her wall-eyed expression met his century-old gaze, then she reverted her eyes to the floor, blushing and scraping her right front hoof on the tiles.
He started with ”Ditzy --” before being interrupted by a stream of words from the nearly crying mare: ”Ooh, Doctor, I'm so sorry about all the mean words they said to you and how they made you so mad that you left, and I've been looking for you all day to say i'm sorry on their behalf and especially the scene I caused. Can you ever forgive me?”
He looked at her with age-old sorrow.
”Oh, Ditzy, Ditzy, Ditzy.” he said in a calming and fatherly tone.
”Of course I forgive you, young one. Thank you for the apology, but you really didn't need to.”
”Oh, but I do! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
”Well, I really need a companion on my journey in this world, maybe that was something? James, old man, are you coming too?”
”I have to decline, buddy. I'm not comfortable without the luxuries of the modern world's weaponry.”
”Fair enough.” He turned to the waiting Ditzy and spoke these words of caution:
”Ditzy, my journey will be dangerous, as I am sure there is someone out to get me. I don't want to see you hurt just because you were making up for some silly incident. So I ask of you:
Will you travel with me this once, on your own accord?”
She swallowed hard, then nodded a bit glumly.
”In that case, young one,” he said, leaning in cofidentally.
”I'm going to say something I haven't said in a long while:”
The six ponies and the little dragon looked at the alien in bewilderment, as he reared up on his hind
legs and waved his front hooves in the air.
”Allons-y!”

* * *

The cloaked pony was reading by candlelight in the study of the ice cave, when a minion barged in.
He turned from the desk, letting a winged hourglass underneath a gem-encrusted crown with three jagged spikes on his flank show in a flash of clothes before they settled.
His eyes glowed orange inside the cowl.
”This better be good.” he snarled.
The dark-blue pegasus bowed before the shrouded pony, cowering and stammering.
”M-my liege, he has taken a companion, as per your predictions.”
”That is good.” he boomed, smiling wickedly.
The pegasus eased up, trying a weak smile, but bowed his slender body fimly to the ground and cringed in fear as his boss spoke up.
”All the pieces are set up. It's his move now.”

Chapter 4

After the Doctor reared up, the group quickly disbanded; Rarity and Rainbow had to stay for the fashionista's big order, Pinkie was ”staging a performance involving all of Ponyville”, James went home to ”anticipate the end of this story”, and Twilight and Spike had to return to their duties at the library.
Before they left, Twilight suggested that the pair visited Applejack for more information.
”She lives on a great farm on the outskirts of Ponyville. If anypony's heard of something we haven't, it's her.”
”Oh, goodie, I haven't seen her in ages!” Ditzy Doo exclaimed.
”Great, we need to start our search somewhere, so why not at an old friend? Where is Applejack's farm?”
”Around 5 miles outside Ponyville.” Twilight answered.
”Splendid, we'll take the TARDIS.”
”TARDIS?” Ditzy Doo looked at him quizzically.
”My spaceship. It's at the town square.”
”Oh, wow, a real spaceship? Let's go!”
The mailmare raced out the door, the colt in hot pursuit of his companion.
They made it to the town square in record time, Ditzy Doo flying, while Doctor Whooves followed the best he could.
The pegasus saw the blue box and attempted a loop-the-loop towards it, only to barge through the doors and smack into the ship's console.
The ship's captain rushed to her side with a concerned look on his face.
”I just don't know what went wrong!” Ditzy wailed.
”Me neither. I was certain I locked the doors earlier. Splendid, the security system must be malfunctioning. Are you all right?”
”Yeah, yeah, I suffered worse during training. But …. wait a moment.”
The alien looked at her, giddy anticipation painted on his face as she looked around the Tardis, then outside at the sign reading ”Public Call Police Box”.
”It's smaller on the outside!” she declared.
He nodded in agreement.
”Yes it i- wait, what?”
His happiness changed to bewilderment, then bemused interest.
”Well, that's a new one. I like it!” he smiled.
He put on his black-rimmed glasses.
”All right, let's get going then. Ditzy, if you could just pull that lever over there.”
He pointed, and she pulled the lever down with her mouth while the captain of the ship pushed a blue and a yellow button simultaneously.
The box made the whirring noise signifying its departure.
”Here we go!” he yelled with glee.
A few seconds later it materialized outside the farm with a thud.
The pair walked out the creaking doors to find a yellow pegasus looking anxiously out behind her pink mane at the sheep-herding orange mare below her.
”Git back here, ya teasin' sheep!” the mare on the ground yelled, her blonde mane flying under the brown cowboy hat.
”Watch this,” Doctor Whooves whispered to Ditzy as they looked at the oblivious mares.
He activated the sonic screwdriver, the blue-tipped end blinking and buzzing, only to summon a brown and white collie to his side, panting and yipping.
”Whoops, that was the dog whistle setting.”
He fiddled with it a bit before trying again.
All the sheep ran in to the pen immediately.
”Now that's more laik it!” Applejack said.
She trotted up to her dog, her body glistening with sweat.
”Winona, why did ya jus' leave?”
”I called her, I'm afraid. I also herded your sheep in your place.”
Applejack just now noticed the adventuring duo.
”Why, Ah never …. Ditzy Doo!” a wide smile of recognizing spread across her face.
She came up to Ditzy and shook her hoof.
”Been downright ages since Ah've seen ya last time. How's Dinky?”
”Oh, she's just fine. She's getting better in school and at magic and everything.” she beamed.
”Excuse me, but who's Dinky?” the Doctor asked.
”Dinky Doo's my daughter, Doctor.” her mother explained.
”That's a lot of D's.”
They all chuckled before Doctor Whooves asked a question, dragging the words as if he was unsure
how to say it right.
”Soooo …. is she Derpy t--”
The colt never finished his question before a hoof slapped him hard on the left cheek, sending his glasses flying two feet into a patch of grass.
”Ow! What the hell?! Six galaxies removed and possibly in a parallel universe, and I still get slapped by someone's Mum!”
”Well, you had it coming!” she yelled back furiously.
The Doctor's head drooped, then turned up again. ”But, is she?” he asked again.
Dinky's mother sighed and glared daggers at her companion.
”If you must know, then no. Thank Celestia too. I am old enough to live with it, but I just couldn't bear it if somepony picked on my little Dinky.”
She looked down at the ground, and the alien looked away.
The farmer tried to salvage the situation.
”Well, er .. Howdy there, stranger! Ah don't believe we've met? The name's Applejack, and this here
is Fluttershy.”
She pointed to a yellow mare behind and above her.
The pegasus was indeed living up to her name, fluttering a foot above ground and looking like she could creep into a mousehole.
Fluttershy squaked at the mention of her name, and hid behind her mane again.
”Ah bought her here to help me with the sheep, but they don't respond to a meek mare laik Fluttershy here, apparently.”
He nodded. ”I'm Doctor Whooves, and I'd like to ask you a few questions.”
”Sure thang! That's the least Ah can do when ya herded mah sheep for me laik that.”
”Did anything fall from the sky recently? Any loud crashes, any flashing lights in the distant night sky?”
The orange mare put a hoof to her chin, pondering for a moment before answering.
”Now that ya mention it, there was a loud crash in the middle of the night, 'bout a month back. Woke everypony up, even ol' Granny Smith. Ah think it came from them mountains.”
She pointed behind her in the distance to a blue mountain range with snow on top, covered in a light mist.
”Could you be any more specific, perhaps?” he asked pleadingly.
The earth pony shook her head.
”Ah'm plumb sorry, Mr. Whooves. But hey, maybe the Princesses would know?”
”It's Doctor Whooves, actually. But thanks for your help regardless. It has been most invaluable.”
He turned to his companion.
”Any idea how we request an audience?”
She looked at him smugly before flapping her wings.
”Weeell, I just so happen to be the only mailmare in Ponyville who is also a pegasus. That means I'm the only pony in Ponyville who's in the Royal Postal Service, because I can fly from the town to the city.”
She grinned at him.
”I may be clumsy, but I am fast. Wanna try it … partner?”
”You bet!” he winked.
They said their goodbyes to the mares and trotted over to the Tardis, the colt picking up his glasses on the way.
After a quick Tardis ride, the duo found themselves in front of the gilded gates at the Princesses' shared palace in Canterlot.
”Halt! Who goes there?” the guard in the gilded armour demanded, holding his spear across the door, blocking it.
”I am Ditzy Doo of the Royal Postal Service, and I have an urgent message that only Princess Celestia must hear!” the grey mare said with all the authority she could muster.
”Ah, Derpy Hooves!” the guard grinned.
Said pegasus gritted her teeth at the mention of the loathed nickname.
”And where is this message?” he asked with suspicion.
”In here.” she tapped her head.
”Top secret spy plans.” she explained, lying carefreely.
The stallion nodded, then pointed his spear towards Doctor Whooves, who looked frightened.
”This is my accomplice ….” she stopped and looked towards the alien in panic for a fake name.
”Billowing Winds.” he gulped with little confidence.
She nodded. ”He carries the other half of the message.”
”Billowing Winds? But you're not a pegasus!” the black stallion, who was in fact a pegasus, noted, his suspicion rising.
”My, uhm, parents had a sick sense of humour, okay?”
The guard shrugged.
”Okay, I'm letting you in, but only because I know Ditzy here, you got that?”
He opened the double doors to the palace.
The pair looked nervously at each other, swallowed hard, then trotted on inside.

Chapter 5

The large doors slammed shut behind them, and they trotted down a carpeted hall towards the audience room.
Through the ornamented windows above, the rays of Celestia's setting Sun were coming through.
They continued down the carpet with the colours of the midday Sun in nervous silence, their three hearts thumping wildly, until the traveller from the stars finally broke it.
”Look at the carpet, young one! The yellow brick road!” he chirped merrily.
The mare looked at him like he was crazy.
”Oh, come now, you haven't heard of that here? It's a book and a film on my planet!”
”What's a film?” she asked, but was ignored as the Doctor was singing loudly and bouncing alongside her normal trot.
”Oooh, we're off to see the Princess, the wonderful Princess in there!”
His singing came to a halt once they reached another large door, the final one before the audience room.
The guard this time was a deep gray unicorn, upon whose request Doctor Whooves had stopped singing.
”Ditzy Doo and Doctor Whooves request an audience.” the former said.
The guard let his stern face drop.
”Yes, our glorious Princess and benevolent ruler of Equestria, Riser of the Sun that brings Life, has been foreseeing your arrival at this hour. You may enter.”
He opened the door behind him with an aura of light blue magic.
It was Ditzy's turn to bounce through the door, her wings spread wide.
”See Doctor? I told you I could get us inside!” she chimed with a wide grin on her face.
The colt smiled knowingly.
”Weeeell, she was expecting us, so you technically didn't get us in, since it's my enemy who's causing trouble to her land, so she'll want to speak to me, not you.”
”Besides,” he continued, pulling out something reminiscent of a driver's licence from his pack, ”I've got my psychic paper.”
”Your what? Give me that!” she exclaimed angrily.
She pulled the blank card out of his mouth with an annoyed frown.
”Doctor Whooves, doctor of psychology at the university of Griffonia ….” she read with her good eye, the other looking at her companion, as the blank page sprung to life in her hooves.
”It says whatever your imagination can come up with.” the alien explained.
”Had I not met you, I could have used that to bluff my way through this adventure.”
”Well, this can't go well all the time, so it's a good thing you did meet me, right?”
She puffed out her chest as more words scrawled across the page.
She read them. ”That mare is too smug for her own go- HEY!”
He quickly snagged the item and stuffed it down his pack again.
”That's why I don't use it here, though. You need to focus on the fib. And this world kind of makes my mind wander and my emotions run wild.”
He smiled an apologetic smile at her as they reached their destination:
The carpet, now in the colour of the setting red Sun outside the palace, ended in several small steps going up to a podium, upon which two thrones sat.
The right one was made of ebony, black as the night, with a cresent moon on the back of it.
The left was white, and might had had a sun to complete the contrast.
It was hard to tell, as it was occumpied at that moment.
Princess Celestia sat on her haunches, the slightest of smiles on her beautiful white face at their enroute banter.
The alabaster goddess' wings were tucked in to her sides, and her large horn was controlling her sun, helping it the last way down the sky in a streak of hot yellow magic.
Her faded light green, magenta, and blue mane was flowing despite the lack of wind.
Her royal tiara, gold with an amethyst adorning it, as well as the matching chest plate, was gleaming in the final sunrays, as she raised her white body from the throne, confirming that the back of it indeed had a full sun carved in it, same as the ruler's Cutie Mark.
She looked down at them silently, twice the size of her subjects, and Doctor Whooves and Ditzy Doo instantly bowed down the floor to the Princess.
”Just relax, I know how to handle royalty.” the old colt in the young body whispered.
The mare shot him a wall-eyed look of sceptic disbelief.
”Oh, do you now?” she asked sceptically in the same hushed voice.
”Queen Victoria the werewolf, Queen Elizabeth the First my bedfellow, Queen Elizabeth the Second my --” his whispering list was interrupted when his latest encounter with royalty spoke up.
”Doctor Whooves.” she announced in a pleasant but authorative voice.
”I believe you have come to my castle with urgent news threatening my beloved subjects, among which you now count yourself?”
He nodded firmly.
”Yes, we believe that an enemy of mine is hiding in the mountains east of here and has done so for quite a bit, causing havoc in the shadows.
We need your help, your Majesty, to reveal his identity or maybe just pinpoint the location of his landing point more exact for us. He crashed there at night time a month ago.”
The alicorn shook her head.
”I'm afraid I cannot help you. Now, don't be so alarmed, my little ponies, it's just that since my
dear little sister, Princess Luna, returned to her royal duties, the night and its events has been her domain. She is in the tower raising the Moon, and doesn't like to be disturbed while she does it.
Wait half an hour before going up to ask her.”
”What are we going to spend the time with until then?” Doctor Whooves asked a little grumpily.
Suddenly, Ditzy's stomach gave a loud growl.
”Whoops, tee-hee! I just remembered I haven't eaten since breakfast!” she declared, turning a pink shade of embarrassment.
After her companion admitted he was also feeling peckish, Celestia insisted the pair dined with her in the nearby hall.
”Well, then,” she said upon arrival and sitting at the right end of a long oak table with the couple at either side of her.
”what would you like to eat and drink?”
They looked at each other across the table, then at their ruler with pleading and hopeful expressions.
”Well, I don't suppose you have some ….”
he began, then his travelling partner finished the sentence alongside him.
”Earl Grey tea?”
”Muffins?”
They looked at the Princess of the Day, who smiled as she replied.
”You are both in luck, my adventuring heroes. Would freshly baked muffins made from hoof-plucked razzberries by my own chefs do, Ditzy Doo?”
The mare nodded excitedly, her mouth watering already.
Their hostess turned to the pony from the stars.
”I just had a cargo of the finest Trottingham tea flown over by pegasii carriage. I find it nasty stuff personally. I'm more of a coffee or cider drinker myself. Oooh, I think I'll have Apple Acre's cider with a slice of chocolate cake.”
The adventurers grinned to each other at the prospect of their treats and their hostess' giddiness.
Their food came quickly, the Ponyvillians agreeing on having the food and beverage the other was having.
They ate in silence, the mares using their silverware with expertise, while the Doctor still struggled with his new hooves.
The Goddess of Sun stifled a grin before going to help him.
”My, I've seen a lot, but never a dinner guest who couldn't handle his cutlery!”
She rearranged his hooves on the knife and fork before finally letting herself giggle a bit, sounding like droplets of water. He looked down and worked the cutlery in amazed wonderment.
”Ditzy – look! I've got it!” he said proudly.
The mailmare cocked her head slightly, so that her derpy eye looked at the colt, while the other was fixed on cutting the muffin carefully into smaller bits, which she then pierced through with her fork.
She nodded in approval, then continued.
After some small-talk, most of it regarding the origins of the guests and their dinner, as well as astronomy, Celestia looked out the large window on the opposing wall, and her sister's cresent moon peeked back at her.
”You may go visit my sister now. She has raised the Moon high enough to be disturbed for a little bit.”
She nodded to a small staircase to her right, and they walked up it to Luna's tower after thanking their hostess for their exquisite dinner.
When they reached the top of what appeared to be an observatory, they found the Princess of the Night stargazing through a telescope, different starcharts, telescopes, and miscellaneous astronomy equipment strewn around her across the room.
The regal figure had her back to them, her mane and body different shades of dark, with a cresent moon as her Cutie Mark.
She turned to them after a few seconds, her mane flowing like tangible night, and they bowed down instantly.
The stellar figure motioned for them to stand, and she spoke: ”What doth thou require that We may bring thee?”
Doctor Whooves nudged Ditzy and whispered: ”Why is she talking like that? She sounds like one of the pompous crooks on my original home planet.”
”WE HEARD THAT!” the Goddess of the Moon thundered, her eyes gleaming white, and the previously clear night sky behind her was filled with thunderclouds.
The newcomers clutched each other, cowering in fear.
Everything went back to normal as soon as it started, and the alicorn said with a slight grin and a normal speaking voice and tone: ”Good, that was the reaction I was hoping for.”
She bowed her head with a sigh and turned her back to them, gazing upon her starry night sky once more as she related her story to the travellers in a slight Ponyvillian accent (as opposed to her big sister's posh Canterlot accent): ”I spoke like that because you're right; I was a crook. A thousand years ago, I was banished to the very Moon I held so dear. I called myself Nightmare Moon and vowed to bring eternal night. I was defeated by my own sister, and when I broke free a year or so ago, again by her protegé, Twilight Sparkle and her friends. The same who taught me how to speak in present-day Equestrian once I'd seen the error of my ways, got my royal position back, and desired to integrate in society once more. So now,” she finished, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye and grinned slyly at them, ”I just use it to annoy all the guards around here! Heck, sometimes even 'Tia herself, too!”
The trio all laughed.
”Now, to the matter at hoof: What may I help you with?”
The Doctor snickered a bit when the tall mare said ”hoof”, but quickly pulled himself together and cleared his throat.
”We need a map to a specific location, a place in the mountain range east of here.
An object should have crashed there in the middle of the night, about a month back.
And the night, of course, is your excellent expertise area, oh graceful Princess.”
He bowed, so he didn't see her face turn pink.
She put on a serious face just in time for him to stand up straight again.
”Yes, the Hippocampus range.”
The colt snickered loudly, and Ditzy Doo gave him an elbow to the side.
The alicorn shot him a look before turning to her instruments and explaining:
”We call it that because the few ponies who have braved the snowstorms and lived to tell the tale have spoken of a serene, snow-covered field, perfect for soul-searching.”
She fiddled with her instruments for a few seconds.
”Let's see here …. GOTCHA!”
She summoned parchment, quill and an inkwell, and started writing in obsidian ink.
”I locked on to the crashed object's foreign energy signature, and this map should help you find it.
It's containing the coordinates as well.”
The Doctor bowed to the Princess of the Night yet again.
”The TARDIS might be an old gal, but I think she'll understand this!”
He smiled and emitted heat from the sonic screwdriver, which he took in his mouth, drying the parchment instantly, rolling it up and putting it into his saddlebag.
They both thanked the Goddess of the Moon for her help, and soon they were inside the Tardis again.
The captain of the ship put in the coordinates into the console and pulled a green lever with his hoof.
He looked at the screen to his right, depicting outside events.
The alien ship was nearing her destination, when suddenly a loud ”BOING” was heard, and the Tardis materialized in the air, spinning uncontrollably in the opposite direction of the crash site.
”What is happening?!” the mailmare yelled, struggling to keep on her hooves in the shaky console room.
”A force field!” came the hissed reply.
”Sit tight, young one. If I don't get us out of this, we'll crash into the nearest mountainside!”

Chapter 6

As the Tardis began to look like an impacting meteor from the sheer speed it was building up, the Doctor scurried around the circular console and pressed a slew of different buttons.
He mumbled something about ”reversing the polarity of the neutron flow”, and his panicked expression went from the buttons to the luminous pillar in the middle of the console, which functioned as the ship's motor. It was working like a piston at break neck speed.
He stared down at the buttons again, and saw that everything was in order.
With a determined look, he reached into his saddlebag, which was now on the floor.
He fished out his sonic screwdriver and held it steady in his right hoof, before pointing it to a lever with a blue handle on the opposite side of the console.
It pulled itself down and everything stopped for a second.
Then, seconds from impact, the Tardis spiralled violently down headfirst into a nearby snowpile.
”Thank Celestia we're alive!” Ditzy coughed as she bucked the doors open and the pair tumbled out on the snow-covered ground.
”Yes indeed!” Doctor Whooves added, coughing as well.
”She taught me how to hold things properly in my hooves. We indirectly owe her our lives!”
But before the mailmare could voice her opinion on that, they were surrounded by ponies of all shapes and sizes, but with one thing in common: The hostile looks upon their faces.
”You have tresspassed on our superiour's grounds. You will come quietly.” a dark grey pegasus hovering a few feet over the ground said.
”Fine then. Take us to your leader.” his equal of the adventurers said.
They both went giggling through the forcefield aided by the unicorns lowering it and escorted by the enemy mob.

* * *

The group quickly reached their final destination, a circular room with stairs leading up to the study, all carved in ice.
Doctor Whooves' saddlebags were thrown to the side. He looked disinterested at it for a moment, waiting for the leader of this whole scheme to appear at the stairs, the only passageway other than the way they got in.
He didn't get to wait long; a cloaked figure soon appeared, trotting out of the study and to the top of the stairs where it stood waiting.
”Theta Sigma,” the voice declared, as if greeting an old friend.
”How nice of you to finally show up.”
Doctor Whooves' eyes widened, and his voice was barely audible: ”That name …. Impossible!”
It then raised to a shout.
”You died! In my arms!”
”Tonight?” the voice snarled mockingly.
His robes were encased in icy blue magic, and thrown carelessly into one of the candlelights by the stairs.
The unicorn had a short, dirty blonde mane and tail, an icy blue coat, a winged hourglass with a jewel-encrusted crown above it as a Cutie Mark, and a crazy, but confident look in the golden eyes and the broadest of mocking grins on his muzzle.
”The Master!” the Doctor yelled, like he was scolding a naughty foal for breaking out of the playpen.
”But how did you ….”
”Get ressurected? Oh, I shall tell you. You've always been a clever man, but I really doubt you could figure this out.”
The Master pointed to his left at a pedestal, upon which rested a golden rectangular object.
”See that? That is the Hand of Omega. Or, rather, Hoof of Omega now. You see, my coven of loyal subjects” he spat out the word with outmost contempt, ”intercepted its course you so cleverly put it on to Gallifrey, our home world. I have high-ranking followers everywhere, so it was easy to keep it hidden, should the need arise. And 50 years later, it did. I was ressurected by its power, but something malfunctioned in it, sending every alien present on Earth at the time to this place, stuck in pony bodies.
My followers may look like ponies, but they were humanoid aliens back on Earth.
That guy over there is from Raxacoricofallapatorius.”
He pointed to an overweight dark pegasus whom stared blankly into space until he noticed the attention he was getting, upon which he took on a stern expression instead.
”Which brings me to you!” the Gallopfreyian pony turned his attention solely to the Doctor with a triumphant grin.
”You were between worlds and times at that moment, weren't you? And I even know what you were about to do. Fate brought you here as well, by stealing a piece of your Tardis. And that same fate brought it to me!”
Out from the study he levitated a tiny mechanical object encased in his icy blue magic, and the insane pony brought it to a halt beside his face, bobbing ever so slightly.
”And with their combined power, I shall take over both universes!” he bellowed while grinning.
”That's insane!” the Doctor gasped. ”In this world, they called me the child of chaos, but they should've called you that instead! And you know you won't succeed, not on my watch!”
”Our watch!” Ditzy Doo suddenly yelled, stepping up besides him, her wings flaring.
”Oh, you're the companion to our lonely traveller here, eh? Funny, that, I didn't notice you at all before now. Come now, Doctor, a blonde, again? If it's not a blonde girl, it's some redhead from a backwater village!”
”HEY!” yelled said blonde offended.
”Pfft, it's better than all your beards!” Doctor Whooves said defensively.
”And what will you even do once you've ”conquered” the multiverses? Date Barry Allen?” he continued mockingly.
The alien unicorn started laughing out loud in an unrestrained albeit psychotic way.
It sounded as cold as his magic looked.
He finally concluded the fit with a series of shaking giggles which led into his next sentence.
”Ohhohohoho, I don't have to kill you to complete my goal, but it'll just feel good to shut you up!”
With bloodshot eyes, he broke off three icicles, hanging by the study entrance, and flung them at the Doctor, who ducked and rolled to his side to his saddlebags, and grabbed his sonic screwdriver.
Ditzy, meanwhile, was bucking the henchponies that launched themselves at her, but due to her clumsiness, she ended up outright sitting on a couple of them.
The two Gallopfreyians were rolling around exchanging blows, and the Master was gaining the upper hand. Doctor Whooves set his sonic screwdriver on the most earsplitting setting of sonic emissions and pressed.
Suddenly, there was a deafening ringing and a blinding flash of light filled the entire cave, follwed by a silent but violent explosion.
The Master and his coven were whisked away in clouds of colourful smoke that looked vaguely pony shaped, the Master's grin echoing through the cave.
Ditzy Doo got up mid-stance, dazed, and picked the exchausted Doctor up to his hooves.
”But …. what happend? Where did they go?” she panted.
Doctor Whooves pointed at the empty pedestal.
”I must have made it explode, sending all the aliens, even James I hope, back to Earth.”
”What about yourself?”
”The trans-flux warp conductor hasn't been reinstalled into the TARDIS yet. If she isn't ready, I'm not ready either. We've shared a mental link for years now.”
”Are they gone for good? The Master and your friend?”
Doctor Whooves suddenly looked worried.
”I don't know, young one. He has the most cunning knack for showing up where he's least expected.
Like here for example.”
”Well, let's hope it's somewhere else next time. Come on, let's go inform the Princesses! I'm sure they'll love to know that their land is safe.”
The colt picked up the gizmo and the half-charred robe of his opponent, and followed the pegasus after casting one last glance inside.

* * *

The Doctor decided to reunite the Tardis with it's stolen part at once, so after some tinkering he plotted a course to Canterlot castle, where the heroes told their Princesses everything they'd heard and that they were safe.
The sisters went to the corner and stood whispering, (”Quite un-royal of them, don't you think?” the Doctor mused.) and then declared in unison that a galla would be thrown in their honour 7 days from this, a Saturday.
Ditzy Doo put the days to good use, making Doctor Whooves her companion for a change, and showed him all of the three cities: Ponyville, Canterlot, and with Twilight's help, Cloudsdale.
The day for the banquet arrived, and it was a huge success.
Everypony was there, from all the three cities, even the friends that Doctor Whooves and Ditzy now shared.
Despite the old colt's more than awkward dancing (wether it was because he was unaware of Equestrian style dancing or just that he was unaccoustomed to his four legs is unknown) everypony was having fun, until the alien in his finest suit left his seat and went out into the starry night to his Tardis, which was positioned on the lawn outside the hall.
He opened the Tardis door when Ditzy Doo, in her finest light grey dress, golden tiara and green earrings, planted a hoof on his shoulder.
”Is it time for you to go?” she asked concerned.
”I'm afraid so. I must go now. My planet needs me.”
”But why? Why can't you stay here?!” she asked while tearing up.
”You already have an abundance of ponies to help. Earth only has me. I'm the King of Sacrifice and Bearer of Justice. It is my burden to bear.”
She nodded sadly. She understood.
He put a hoof to her cheek to wipe away her tears and pulled her head into a tender kiss, their tears mixing.
Breaking away, he looked at her one final time with hundreds of years of sorrow in his eyes.
Then he closed the door, and with the sound of a bellows, he disappeared from the cool night and the palace grounds.
The pegasus in the white gala dress and tiara looked up into the starry sky, hopeful that they would meet again someday.

Epilogue

”Ten personas, I've walked the Earth. Sole protector of the Human race.” the Doctor sang sullenly, as he dragged his hooves towards the flashy console room.
”And now Ponykind, too.” He sighed, then smiled weakly.
”Ditzy Doo,” he declared to no-one.
”bear the name Derpy Hooves with pride. Let nopony bring you down, for you saved Equestria! I'll miss you, young one.”
He slowly transformed into his old humanoid, Time Lord, self.
He said: ”Good news and bad news. I'm in the flesh again. But that means the radiation has begun again. And because of my adventures, because of my friends:”
He stood by the round console with the many buttons, now fully humanoid, a bell ringing in the distance.
”I don't want to go.” he said sadly.
He then violently regenerated in a beam of yellow light engulfing him, while the TARDIS exploded into flames around him ….

Prologue

”Vigilante of Time and Space! Evil know you can't defeat me! You can try, and you may shoot me. But you can't exterminate me, oh yeah!”
The Doctor spun around as he sang, his brown eyes gleaming.
”This Chameleon Circuit band is excellent, because every song is about me!” he shouted to the empty control room.
”I wonder if Rose told them about me? I'll miss her. Oh well, back to my list. Now, who should I visit next? Adric?” He chuckled. ”Oh, come now, old man, don't be cruel! I think I will ….”
”Beep-beep-beep! Wvorp-wvorp-wvorp!” it said suddenly.
”What? What? What?” he yelled befuddedly.
The blue suit and red tie seemed tight on him now.
He removed his tie and checked the console of his ship.
”Something is terribly wrong! I'm crashing! I must ….”
He did not say more before he passed out, and a horrific transformation began ….