The Heartless Renegade

by ArreClonClipo

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 4640

A disgruntled, nihilistic girl finds herself in a strange land, where fluffy little cartoon characters rule and humans are but dumb beasts. Chaos ensues.

There are people who find it easy to deal with the inevitable changes that are bound to pop up in life; for other people, change does not come easy; for others still, it is very difficult; but for me, it is damn near impossible. And why wouldn't it be? Waking up to a strange new world, subservient humans, domineering cartoon ponies and an eldritch death lord with a grudge against me. It will be a miracle if I don't lose my sanity at some point...

This story takes place in the Your Human and You verse, created by MadMaxTheBlack with his permission.

Not canon to Your Human and You.

Published 2014-11-26 05:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-13 03:54:05 UTC

On To Newer, Greener Pastures [Updated]

Chapter 1

They are here, they are there, they are everywhere. Slowly filling up the miserable little shack I call a house. Crammed into the mailbox, stacked atop each other, like perverted imitations of cash wads; spread all over the tabletop. Watching me, mocking me, doing their best to suck out whatever tiny, infinitesimal pleasures I get out of life. I would like nothing more than to burn, shred, and tear the damned things.

Not that I do. It would be a pointless exercise, wouldn't it? Whether I destroy them or not, it wouldn't change the fact they are still overdue, nor the fact that we're facing foreclosure. So as tempting as the idea of having a bonfire with the little suckers is, I don't do it.

And my mom is there, lighting up as usual, watching me with a vaguely disinterested look.

She picked up the habit when she was a kid. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, who knows. I keep forgetting, and I don't really care to remember. Apparently, it was 'cool' back in the day. Hmph! I hope it was worth it. That her little vice was worth the toll it took on her body and health; on the upbringing, the physical and mental health of her only child.

She was like a skeleton; rail thin, and her body unnaturally frail. Her breath stank, her teeth reeked, and her fingers colored a sickly yellow. She was a sorry sight indeed.

I watched as she inserted a cancer stick and deftly lighted lighted up with practised ease. "I got some bad news for you, kiddo."

I barely flinch. News are not usually good in this household. "You didn't get the job, did you?" I said flatly. "I guess it's back to bread and ramen noodles for dinner, huh?" I couldn't help but put on a snide tone.

Mom averted her gaze and ducked her head in shame. I felt a twinge of sympathy and guilt. For all her failings, as a parent, as a provider, she is still my mother. It annoyed me to no end I couldn't hate her, nor stay mad at her. It would make things so much easier.

I ducked my head and muttered a barely audible, "Sorry." She seemed to pick up on it, though.

"I know you're not gonna like this but, honey, until I can find a steady job, you'll have to do your part as well," she said softly. Or, as softly as one can, when their vocal cords have been ravaged by decades of incessant smoking.

"Jesus, mom! Don't I do enough around here already? I do your laundry, wash your dishes, clean this pit of a house and..."

"I'm sorry, Jackie, but unless you can bring in some money, we're gonna lose the house." God, she looks so... deflated.

But I knew that as much as it would suck, she was right. She was kicked out of her recent gig because-- surprise, surprise-- she was lighting up on the job. It was one of those recurring themes with her. So I went and applied at the local burger joint. Dishwasher. I worked alone, in the back, and it suited me just fine. I don't work well with others and I would sooner run myself through a wood chipper than having to put up with people, customers. Ugh.

It wasn't much, but it was something. It helped delay foreclosure, and mom managed to land a gig at the gas station. A few months of hard, soul sucking work and we were mostly out of the woods. I even managed to save up enough to buy an old PS3. Mom, for the first time since ever, decided to attend a help group in curbing her addiction and much to my disbelief, was making progress. She was now down to five packs a day.

For a while, things were actually kinda going our way. But the world, in all its shittiness, had to go and beat me right back down. I hate that world.

Let me start from the beginning: My name is Jackie Brown, and I am beyond fucked. But that's the way of things, isn't it? Life sucks, then you die. And these... these... people, go about their lives without a care in the world, trying to eke out a pointless existence in a rat-race that will forget they ever lived as soon as they're in the ground. We all try to cover up our emptiness with expensive clothes, fancy cars and the latest gossip, just a bunch of worthless, inane babble. God, I hate this. And this mall, too.

Whatever, I'll just try to ignore them all. It's just me, here and now, inside my protective little bubble...Dear God, I'm just like them...I strode through the mall, hands in my pockets, head lowered, shoulders slumped and radiating my best 'fuck off' vibe. It worked, thankfully. Always does. Normally, I wouldn't bother coming here, but the next installation of Slaughterhouse was out and no reputable vendor would sell such a controversial game to an underage girl. Luckily for me, the GameStop here was manned by a fat slob who didn't give two shits who bought what, underage or not.

Just as I neared the store, I walked by a pair of the typical air-headed high school bitch queens. I made a point to ignore their shrill giggles and comments on my—admittedly ratty—plain grey hoodie. God, how I would love to put those little skid marks in their place. I went in, bought the game and got the hell out.

It was nightfall before I made the long walk back to my house. Night in this city was far from safe, so, in a moment of utter brilliance, I took a shortcut through an alley, hoping it would be devoid of lowlifes and weirdoes.

"Hello? Excuse me, little lady."

I turned to look at the voice and there, leaning against a thrash can was a creep in a sleazy suit-and-tie, brown hair combed back in a bad 70s style and glasses with a dark-reddish tint to them.

I ignored him and kept on walking at a hurried pace. I said I needed some mace. I said there were a lot of creeps in this town, but noooo. That's what I get for being cheap. There was a shuffling of movement and footsteps, growing closer despite my hurried pace. Great. The one time a guy notices me and it's some slimy old geezer. Can't this shit happen to someone else today? I whipped around, teeth bared in a snarl. "Stop following me, you creep!"

The creeper started back in surprise, but I didn't wait for him to recover and continued on, not paying him mind, stopping only when an oily voice spoke, right next to my ear.

"Hey, there's no need to be rude! I just want to talk!"

Reacting on instinct, I abruptly turned, and my leg bending back, ready to hit the creeper in the nads. Imagine my surprise when there's nobody in sight.

"Over here!"

The voice came behind again, and I looked over, only to find the creep right in front of me, his unnaturally perfect, white teeth splayed in a grin.

And just like that, before I could even begin to formulate a reply, the creepy old guy took a hold of my arm and in his other one was a syringe filled with... some... substance that looked to be as if one took a rainbow and crammed it into one small container. The creep swiftly injected the psychedelic swirling shit into my neck.

"Aagh! What the shit!? What did you just do to me!?" I shrieked like a bitch, spittle flying out my mouth and backing away from the pervert. "Help! Rape! Rape!" I looked frantically around the deserted alleyway, hoping against all hope someone would hear. Of course fucking not! Why would they?!

"Now, don't you worry my dear. That little concoction I just pumped into your bloodstream is... well, you could say it's a bit of my own, personal... essence." He said it in such a sleazy, sinister way I couldn't help but shudder, wrapping my arms around me in a protective hug.

"F-freak! Pervert!" I hissed.

He had the gall to scoff and lifted his glasses, allowing his disgusting yellow eyes to shine through. "Will you stop it already? Believe me, dear, you hold no kind of interest to me. Well, not that way, at least."

He lowered them back on and slowly walked forward with a strut, hands in his pockets and a leering grin on his pervert face.

"H-hey! Get away from me, you... you... sicko!" I tried to back away, but whatever that kind of drug it was that he injected me with had already gone to work. My legs were wobbly, my speech slurring and colors, swirling colors, just like that hippie drug were swimming through my vision.

Then there was the pain. Just like that, it goes from being the start of a drug-induced haze and now, it feels like there's fucking acid flowing through my veins! Burning everything, turning my flesh into goo and making me scream so loud that by the end of it, I'm lying like dirt on the ground, my body twitching, my throat raw and the pervert is still there, with his hands in his pockets and smiling down at me without a care in the world.

I spat on him. Or, I tried to, at least. My body wasn't responding. "F-fuck you," I said feebly.

With his right hand, the freak snapped his fingers and the agonizing pain that wracked my body was now gone. I gasped at the sensation, but the freak snapped his fingers again and my body seized, growing still and ramrod straight.

It must have been the drug or something, because I could have sworn my body levitated and now, I was looking into the disgusting eyes of the pervert. I tried to spit on him again, but, much to my alarm, I found I couldn't move an inch of my body.

"Excellent," he said jovially. "Now, while you're just floating there, pay attention. I have been watching you, Jacqueline Samantha Brown. I have scoured this world, looking for just the right individual to help with a little pet project of mine. You have just received a portion of my power. Anything I can do, you can do as well. You wished for nothing more than to be able to leave this rat's nest of your world, and you will. You crave the opportunity, the power, to make those around you realize the harshness of reality and life. And you will. I will grant you your desires and in turn there's only one... single... little... thing you must do for me in return."

He fully removed his glasses and brought his disgusting face close to mine.

"Have fun."

And with that, he tapped a cold, bony finger to my forehead and I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was pissed. There I was, lying face down in grass, feeling like steamrolled shit. Ugh. My head is killing me... stupid sun. Morning, it looked like. In a flashI remembered the events of last night. The pervert! Oh. Oh, my God... As quick as I could I checked to make sure that... stuff didn't happen while I was out. Okay, okay, I was good. But this good fortune did nothing to ease my mood.

That freak! He dosed me with some... hippie, candy-land drug! He took all my things, and if that wasn't enough, I'm... somewhere else! But... wait. Why is everything so... cartoony? And with edge lines? Must be that pervert's drug. Just the thought that it's still in my system makes me want to retch. Ohh, if I ever see him then... I'll do something bad, that's for sure.

But first things first. I had to get home and report his ass to the authorities. No, wait, scratch that. Those pigs are so bloated in donuts and their own narcissistic superiority, their fat asses won't be good for much of anything. Except maybe write parking tickets and shooting unarmed minorities.

I rose from my position and a dizzy spell passed through, but other than that, I was feeling surprisingly normal. Well, except for the fact everything was so bright. God, I needed a shower. And some food. Food's always nice. Especially when it's battered and deep fried in grease. Just out of curiosity, I brought up my hand and yep, it's cartoony too. Whatever. I'll just have to wait until the drug's effect runs its course.

I looked to my surroundings and noted how strange they were. I was still in an alley, but it was surprisingly clean and maintained. Didn't stink either. And there was no concrete. Just healthy looking grass that was a shade too green on both ends and the houses or shops or whatever on either side of me were made of stone, with thatched straw roofs and built like some... Disney fairyland theme.

I wanted nothing more than to burn it down. Down to the ground.

But first things first. Food and a shower, followed by copious alone time in which I could moan and piss on what just transpired. Maybe even entertain some revenge fantasies. And after that, just me, by myself in the overpass and a few cartons of eggs to pelt passing cars. That usually cheers me up. Now, where exactly am I. Certainly not in my neighborhood. Feels too nice, too... safe, even in this alley. Definitely not my 'hood.

A southern, feminine voice spoke from my side. "Hey, little fella. What'choo doin' all the way out here?" Oh Christ, I'm in Deliverance!

Now, I realize that this person maybe didn't have malicious intentions towards me. But I was still pissed and stewing over last night, so I turned to rip this bitch a new one. Only... there wasn't anybody there. I looked down and came face to face with... some... fluffy, dog, horse-thing? And... it's wearing a cowboy hat. Damn, that hippie drug is really doing a number on me.

Even so, I couldn't move. The little bugger just looked so real. And much too cute for my liking. I took a step forward and examined it more closely. The little thing tilted its head and looked at me in what I would guess was a curious way. Sheesh, those were some big eyes, and expressive, too. A little horsey muzzle, orange coat and yellow mane tied in a... ponytail. How quaint. If I wasn't so shocked, the sight of it would instantly send my blood boiling.

It really did look real, even if it was only a hallucination. I couldn't help myself. I reached out with my arm to see what would happen, and while the little mutant raised an eyebrow, it didn't react all that much. What happened next confused the hell out of me. My fingers made contact with the tip of its nose. Soft and furry... and solid. Da fuq? The little horsey blinked and I touched it again, now with both hands, running them through its face. Solid, and bone structure. Fuzzy and soft.

"Heh, heh. Well, aren't you a friendly one?" it or... she, chuckled, smiling and pulling back. "Where's your owner, missy? It's not too safe for you critters to wandering around out here. There's been more and more of you fellas gettin' snatched away, dont'cha know."

God, the way she looked at me, a saccharine carefree smile on her fuzzy mug. I wanted to punch the little mutant. NOTHING should be this cute... But there was a horrifying thought slowly dawning upon me. This... was real. I was not in some drug-induced trip and the cloyingly sweet abomination looking up at me was an actual thing.

"Well, come on, now. It's best we go and see if we can find yer owner." She turned to go and cocked her head, clicking her tongue as if to instruct me to follow. Like I'm a freakin' animal! Just where did this puling, inferior life form get off!? By all rights, I should have flown off in a rage and shove my foot up this little shit's ass!

And yet, my body is strangely unresponsive. The sheer ridiculousness, the absurdity of it all! The stream of swears and profanities meant to leave my mouth sounded instead like a series of incomprehensible gibberish.

"Aww, ain't that cute? You're trying to talk to me, ain't'cha, girl?" cooed the hick."C'mon, then. The sooner we find your owner the better."

I... will... DESTROY YOU!

The little dog-horse turned, expecting me to follow. Obviously, it had never dealt with a teenager before. Even so, as satisfying as it would be to tear it a new asshole, I was a bit preoccupied with an existential crisis.

It... wasn't possible that I wasn't on Earth, was it? All of this, the little talking mutant horse, the despicably saccharine colors on every surface. Was it possible it was all real? Surely not. Or maybe, I was always here, in this hippie cartoon land, and everything up to this point; my life, everyone I knew, and shit, the entire world I lived in had never existed.

I pushed the thought from my mind. I can't fucking deal with this right now... My breathing quickly accelerated out of control, rapid and shallow. What was real? What wasn't? Was I me? Not me? Am I even fucking here right now?! Don't think about it.

"Whoa! Easy there, girl! What's got you so worked up?" The thing was tense, looking at me with worry, its foreleg half-raised as if to run away at a moment's notice.

Yeah, you little shit. You should be afraid. God, please someone help me. I tripped over nothing, panting in shaky, quick breaths and blinking tears from my eyes. Fuck, not now! The abomination ran to my side, placing a hoof on my shoulder. Oh God it's touching me!

I'm not proud of what I did next.

I shrieked and slapped the hoof away, rolling onto my knees and bolting down a dirt road. Can't...can't breathe! My chest felt tight, burning like I'd inhaled a lungful of battery acid. My vision blurred and darkened at the edges. I only made it a few more steps before the blackness crept in from the edges until I couldn't see at all. I felt my cheek hit the dirt, and simply laid there.

Can't breathe...can't breathe...

"Calm down, girl!" Don't touch me, don't you FUCKING touch me! "Shh...Ain't nopony gonna hurt ya..." A rough, dry hoof dragged through my already tangled, dusty hair, pulling and breaking strands left and right. Despite most of my body feeling heavy and numb, I managed to wrap my arms around my head. The hoof went to my back instead. Can't you fucking see I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED?!

Somehow, despite my panic being at an all-time high, my breathing began to slow on its own. My vision began to return, showing that I'd attracted an entire swarm of the mutants. If that wasn't bad enough, a number of the little freaks were even more mutated at a glance. Some of them sported stubby spiraled horns and others had wings on their backs, much too small to let them fly, but fly they did. All of them. So happy, so cute, so adorable. My stomach convulsed and I barely managed to keep myself from puking. I swallowed the acrid bile that made its way into my mouth, feeling strangely welcoming, a nice contrast to the saccharine, evil sweetness surrounding me.

I stood unsteadily, keeping my eyes on the ground and making a point to ignore the crowd. I continued walking down the road and into a town full of the little nightmares and Disney Shacks. My hair hung like blinders, obscuring the view of the staring, huge-eyed freaks tracking my every move. As such, I accidentally bumped into a man. He was short, stocky, ugly and hairy...And he was buck naked.

Hmm...Not much to look at.

But there he was, ass-hair blowing in the wind like it was the most normal thing in the world. For all I know, it could be. A collar and leash tied him to a post with dog bowls nearby, filled with water and... kibble? He just sat there, staring at the world around him with vacant, dull eyes, the markings of a stupid beast. Or a Freshman.

I don't know how long I stared, eyed wide with horror. My throat was dry and then, as if I'd been blind to it the whole time, I began seeing more and more of them. People. Humans. All of them with that vacant, listless stare. All of them with collars, some of them naked and shuffling like dumb animals to more of the little mutants, who led them through leashes. And they were there, all around me!

What sort of fucked up hell is this?!

The nudist Neanderthal leaned forward, sniffing my neck and poking at my jacket. I backpedaled, muttering a hissed 'fuck off' under my breath until I was out of range of his leash. What the actual fuck is going on?!

The hick was back. I think she tried to talk to me. I looked back at her, but whatever she said might as well be in another language. The implications of what I'd just seen had thrown me for a loop. It's like someone had pulled the stopper on my reality, and everything I knew was being flushed down the drain. I was cold, my face was pale and fixed in a mask of sheer horror. I couldn't think or form a coherent thought.

The mutant took my hand in her filthy, slimy mouth and pulled me away. We went in deeper, and there were more of them, and the... humans as well. Just what kind of place is this?! My own people, my own species! Animals! Stupid animals being dragged around by freaks of nature! But what did that make me? I can talk, I can think, I can decide. In this world. In this twisted, fucked up, mockery of my world, did that make me the freak?

I didn't have time to dwell on this. The dog-horse had taken me to the heart of the town, to a small, one-story building and behind it was a wired fence in which more humans were kept in separate pens. Digging in the ground, growling at each other, shoveling mouthfuls of kibble to their mouths and...and...fucking! I nearly retched again.

"Howdy there, Caramel," greeted the hick.

Caramel? Caramel?! I looked over and there was another mutant dog-horse. A plain one, no horns or wings. "Hey, Applejack. What brings you here?"

She pointed to me. "I found this little fella in an alley near the outskirts. She was all alone and, shoot, I couldn't just leave her there, you know? What with all the humans being foalnapped and such..." She leaned towards the vaguely masculine...little horse...pony? Pony. She leaned towards the vaguely masculine pony and whispered something just loud enough for me to hear, "Ah think she might've had a run-in with some bad folks...She's scared outta her wits!"

Sister, you don't know the half of it.

He nodded solemnly. "It's a shame, yeah. So you found her all alone, huh?" He moved closer and inspected me. "Hmm. She looks well cared for. Good clothes, trimmed hair. Her skin looks a bit pale, though. Must be an indoor human." he prodded me. "Not unhealthy, but she could lose a little weight."

Glrk... pth...brargh. D-did that little fucker just call me fat?! I am going to feed you your own balls, shitstain.

The hick chuckled. "Heh, heh. That she does. Seems somepony was a spoiled little missy, ain't we, girl?" She rubbed my lower back, and it felt disturbingly good.

I will fucking EAT you!

"So what do you think, Caramel? You wouldn't know who she belongs to now, would you?"

He shook his head. "Fraid not. Thankfully, there's been no reports of missing humans for a while, but that could either mean that she is missing and nopony noticed, or that she wandered here from somewhere else."

"That's a good guess as any, Ah suppose. Well, until we can reunite this missy with her owner, do ya think I can leave her in your hooves?"

He winced and looked back at the human kennel. "I dunno, Applejack. We're kind of full as it is, and we just don't have the resources to keep taking in strays."

"But she's not a stray! She obviously belongs to somepony."

He sighed. "Well, couldn't she stay with you, at least until we get some room? You got a nice big barn and everything and you sure as heck are good at dealing with humans." Bitch please, this cunt pulled out my hair.

"Yeah, but my humans are strictly for work and breeding purposes only." Wat. "And this little one just doesn't look cut out for that kind of stuff."

"Why not? What's the difference?"

It was the hick's turn to sigh. "Look, if I put her in the pens, then the males... well... they get randy at this time of year and throwing new meat in with them... let's just say this lil' missy ain't built to take that kind of attention," she winced and shook her head. "And the other females tend to be territorial, especially during mating season, and I don't even want ta think what they'll do if they think missy here's stealing with their males," she paused. "Uh, Caramel? You okay there, partner?"

The brown-furred mutant was slowly backing away, eyeing me in fear. The hick turned to see what had spooked her ilk. She caught sight of me and stuttered, "U-um."

The little shits were scared of me, and I could imagine why. My whole entire body was trembling as pure, white-hot rage coursed through my veins. My fists were clenched so hard, I could feel my fingernails pierce the skin, my teeth bared and my whole face twisted in sheer, absolute fury, twitching and spasming erratically and I'm pretty sure I was foaming at the mouth.

The hick gulped, but stood her ground. She lifted a leg. "E-easy, sugarcube."

I saw red, and exploded. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, YOU MUTANT, HALF-BREED, PISSANT LITTLE HORSESHIT!" I bellowed so hard, my throat fucking hurt.

The freaks obviously hadn't been expecting that, for their eyes bugged out(as if it was even possible) and their jaws dropped, looking at me in astonishment, and not enough fear for my liking. The same could be said for the rest of the mutants nearby, but it wasn't them that was the object of my fury.

The little fuckers had been so stunned at the revelation a dumb animal could talk that they froze on the spot. Kneeling down in front of the hick, I recalled my anger, my hatred, fury, horror and despair at finding myself in this twisted, godforsaken reality and channelled it to my arm and into my fist, delivering a vicious uppercut that sent the freak flying into the air and landed with a thump, moaning in agony and clutching at her mouth, upon which blood was freely pouring.

I turned and the rest of the little fuckers, eyeing me in equal parts of fear and bafflement. Even the dumb humans had paused to look at the spectacle. It made my blood boil even further.

I took a deep breath and bellowed for the second time. "THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU PULING LITTLE FREAKS!"

It wasn't the first and it certainly wouldn't be the last mistake I made in this world.

First Impressions [Updated]

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The Pony of Shadows [Updated]

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Of Stolen Cakes and Milk and Goods [Updated]

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Into Enemy Territory [Updated]

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Once More, With Feeling

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Oh, the Friendships You'll Go

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Targe of the Blooded (I)

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Targe of the Blooded (II)

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Ultimatum

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Reformation... What?

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Of Diamond and Troggs

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The Token

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The Call

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Mending Wounds

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A Great and Powerful Act

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Healing Waters

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Mad Cult's Design

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A World at War

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The Best Laid Plans

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The Battle for Haven's Peak

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"Sayonara, auf Wiedersehen and Goodbye"

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