It was a normal afternoon for for ponyville, but not for caramel. He was on his new computer and he was about to look up fanart of himself.
"I can't wait to see all the awesome pictures pictures those bronies drew of me." said caramel excitedly.
Caramel smiled as he pulled up the deviantart homepage. He began typing into the search bar.
"caramel my little pony" he typed
Caramel pressed the search button and waited for the page to load.
"this is going to be great!" caramel said joyfully.
The page loaded and it was filled with pictures of him and big Macintosh in various...... Ahem..... Poses. Caramel's happiness was swiftly replaced with horror.
"the heck?"
Caramel went to the next page, it too was full of pics of him and big Macintosh.
"maybe is should check a different website, yeah that's it! A better one." said caramel
Caramel went to the poniboru homepage and began to type in the search bar.
"caramel" he typed
He pressed the search button and the results came up. Every picture was blocked by the mature warning. Caramel was horrified beyond all reason.
"im not gay!" yelled caramel.
Caramel closed out of the web browser and powered down the computer. He lost all taste in the Internet.
"I'm straight! For crying out loud!" caramel yelled
Caramel Got up and trotted over to a nearby phone.
"I'll show them, I'll prove to them I'm straight! Then they will stop with all that fanart!" said caramel angrily
Caramel picked up the phone and began dialing.
Elsewhere, specifically at the apple farm, the phone began to ring.
"ah'll get it!" Said a certain southern pony.
Applejack walked up to the phone and answered it.
"howdy.......... Well how ya doin caramel?" asked applejack
Applejack paused and listened to what caramel had to say.
"........ What? Look I got apples to buck, I cant just-............ Fanart? .......... With big Mac?....... Fine, if it stops those bronies from writing all those appledash fanfics, then ah'll do it.... See ya in a few"
applejack hung up the phone.
"applebloom! Ah'm headin out fer a bit! Don't let Winona eat the couch again!" yelled applejack.
Applejack ran out of the farm.
Applejack let herself into caramel's house.
"caramel!" said applejack
Caramel trotted in with a camera.
"ready aj?" asked caramel
Applejack smiled
"ah was born ready" replied applejack
Caramel finished uploading the pictures of him and applejack hugging onto muzzlebook.
"now all those bronies will stop saying I'm gay, once they see these pictures.". Said caramel excitedly
Applejack gave a friendly smile.
"and they won't be callin me a lesbian either!" replied applejack.
The two high hoofed.
"now we wait." said caramel.
A few hours later........
Caramel and applejack looked through the comments on the photos.
-caramel y u no with big Mac!?
-rainbow won't like this.
-stop cheating with your coltfriend's sister!
-ew straight.
Applejack and caramel looked with unamusement.
"aj, call twilight" said caramel
"why" asked applejack
"i want her to shoot me" replied caramel.
Applejack slapped caramel across the face.
"caramel we won't give up now! We are going to prove our straitness if it's the last thing we do!" yelled applejack
A determined look formed on caramel's face.
"your right aj, let's go prove our orientation!" said caramel.
The two stood in the center of ponyville as many ponies did their daily routines.
"so what's the plan caramel?" asked applejack
"we make out in the open, then that proves we are strait, then no more caramac or appledash!" replied caramel
"ah can finally read fanfiction again..... Pucker up!" said applejack.
The two began making out, causing passing ponies to give them disapproving looks.
"get a room!" yelled one pony.
Two of these bystanders were derpy hooves and her daughter dinky.
"mommy, why are those two ponies eating eachothers faces?" asked dinky
"I'll tell you later" replied derpy
They stopped and looked around.
"ya think it worked?" asked applejack
"well aj, let's check" replied caramel
Caramel took out an I phone and searched fanart.
"nope, I'm still shipped with big Mac" said caramel
"and that means I'm still portrayed as a lesbian....." said applejack.
Caramel hit his head against a light post.
"we need another plan" said caramel.
Applejack thought for a moment.
"ah got it!" yelled applejack.
Within the next two hours, caramel and applejack set up a makeshift stage with a microphone.
"so we just yell it out?" asked caramel.
"that's right caramel" said applejack
Caramel got onto the stage and trotted over to the microphone.
"attention everypony!" caramel said.
Ponies began forming a crowd in front of the stage.
"I caramel t horseshoes have an announcement to make."
Caramel cleared his throat.
"I am not gay!" caramel yelled.
Applebloom peeked her head out from within the crowd.
"what's gay?" asked applebloom".
Applejack looked at her sister.
"go home Sis" said applejack.
Applebloom trotted towards the apple farm.
"I am not in love with big Macintosh! So stop drawing fanart of us!" said caramel.
Applejack walked onto the stage.
"and ahm not a lesbian! Ahm strait too!" added applejack
"you see, were not homosexual!" said caramel.
Two Stalions holding hooves looked at them with hate.
"and what's wrong with being gay huh!?" asked one of the Stalions.
Caramel was starting to worry.
"nothing, im just-"
He was cut off by lyra and bon bon.
"what do you have against us lesbians!?" yelled Lyra.
"let's get them!" yelled bon Bon.
They were chased out by the angry mob.
The two walked along the edge of the everfree forest.
"ah thought that would have went better" said applejack
"it's hopeless! Were still shipped with members of our own gender, and now the gay and lesbian community hates us!" yelled caramel.
"hey, least it aint those fineighal fantasy fanmares hating us" said applejack.
"true...... But still, IM NOT GAY!" screamed caramel at the top of his lungs.
Out of nowhere fluttershy dove in and tackled caramel.
"what's going on!? Asked caramel.
"keep your filthy hooves off my stallion you caramel coated freak!" said flutershy
"IM NOT GAY!!!!!!" yelled caramel.
Fluttershy punched caramel repeatedly.
"fluttershy stop!" yelled applejack.
Fluttershy stopped.
"hes strait! There's no need to-
Applejack was cut off by a pie to the face.
"the hay?"
Soarin flew down holding an automatic pie cannon.
"keep your southern hooves off my mare you hick!" yelled soarin.
"ahm not a lesbian!" yelled applejack.
Soarin pumped his pie cannon.
"LIES!!!"
Caramel managed to break free from fluttershy's grip.
"let's leg it!" said caramel.
The two ran away while dodging soarin's pies.
"you better run!" yelled soarin.
The two sat in sugarcube corner.
"why does the universe hate us aj?" asked caramel
"ah blame rarity. Stuck up priss spreads rumors every day." said applejack angerly
"if only we had a way to-
"HEY APPLEJACK!!!!"
Pinkie pie appeared out of nowhere.
"Gah!" they both yelled in unison.
They both fell out of their seats.
"you two ok?" asked pinkie.
"no...." grumbled caramel.
"whats wrong?" asked pinkie.
"we are trying to prove that we are strait!" said applejack.
"but it keeps back firing on us!" said caramel.
"I had that problem once!" said pinkie pie.
Applejack and caramel sprung up and got close to pinkie pie's face.
"YOU DID!?" said caramel and applejack inn unison.
"yeppers!" replied pinkie.
"how did y'all deal with it?" asked applejack.
"well I threw..... A PARTY!" said pinkie excitedly
"how did you really do it.?........"asked caramel.
"alright........ I punched the first pony who said. Anything."
"that's it!? All this time we just had to punch somepony in the face!?" said caramel.
"I also posted a video onto the Internet, but I don't recommend it." added pinkie pie
"so we buck some pony in the face and were home free?" asked applejack.
"corectomundo!" replied pinkie.
The two dashed out of the bakery.
The two trotted down the street holding hooves as they passed a large male pony.
"coltcuddler" said the colt.
Caramel immediately punched him in the face.
"in your face freak!" yelled caramel.
Applejack kicked the pony's face.
"who's gay now!?" said caramel
"I ain't no lesbian!" added applejack
They then noticed the royal guard pony behind them.
".......... Good day officer" said caramel.
The two sat in their prison cell wearing orange jumpsuits.
"ah can't believe we got 3 years fer this!" said applejack.
"I hate everypony." added caramel.
"well, least we are away from all that fanart." said applejack.
"true that". Replied caramel.
