The Confectionary War: Part 1

by Danthebronyman

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sweetie Belle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1644

200 years before Luna's banishment came a great war that would decide the fate of equestria.

We all know wars are a bloody business, but this is what happens when you put pastries into the mix...

Rated T for: Mild language, mature plot line, and in general items not everyone may get.

Published 2014-11-27 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-27 01:50:04 UTC

Chapter 1: Promotion

Chapter 1: Promotions

200 years before Princess Luna's banishment, there was a great war. This was not a war of blood, but pastries! This is the Story of the Confectionary War and 2 of it's most famous leaders.

KNOCK KNOCK! "Enter" replied a pink admiral in her quarters.

"Vice-Admiral Pie ma'am! I bear a urgent message from the 1st Lord of the Admiralty, Twilight Sparkle." said a Leftenant in a uniform that looked like a cupcake, and the hat looked like frosting.

"Thank you lad. You may take your leave." replied the Vice-Admiral.

"Aye aye ma'am!" retorted the Officer before leaving her quarters.

"Aye, let's see what this is about." questioned the commanding officer.

To her lordship, Vice-Admiral Pinkamena Diane Pie,  congratulations! You have been recommended for the rank of: Admiral! But, due to the new war, you are being promoted to Admiral of the Fleet, pink icing fleet! Please announce this to your crew ASAP. Also, I'll be sending 15 ships to the Equestrian Ocean, you are ordered to meet, and take command with 4 other Admirals, 2 Commodores, and 9 Post Captains.

"MARINE!" ordered the newly appointed officer.

"Get all crew to the main gun deck!" shouted her lordship.

"Yes ma'am!" replied the officer in a red velvet cupcake uniform with a strawberry frosting hat.

1 bell later

1 bell is equal to 30 minuets.

After all crew were gathered from, port to starboard side, Pinkie stepped up to a makeshift podium made from 2 cannons.

"Attention Lads and lasses! I have just received a letter from The Lord Admiral. I have just been promoted to Admiral of the Fleet! So due to this, I'll be recommending a Leftenant to Master and Commander to help me run this 140 cupcake gun, 1st rate cupcake of the line! 3 cheers to There Majesty's Ship Frosting!" ordered the officer.

"HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH!" screamed the crew in union, all throwing up there frosting hats. Including Pinkie who's was a golden yellow color.

"If you need me, I'll be in my quarters. Also, in 7 bells, all officers, including Midshipmen, report to my quarters for dinner and a meeting." retorted the Admiral.

Halfway across the world.

"Colonel Hooves ma'am, I have a message from General Dash!" said the private who just barged in during the Colonel's breakfast."

"DAMNIT! Always during my Blueberry muffin! Just, hand me the damned letter..." yelled the Colonel

"ye-ss ma'am." stuttered the poor private.

"Let's see here.." she replied.

Dear Colonel Derpy Hooves, you have been promoted to the rank of a Full General(4 stars), I suggest you have a small "gala" as the stupid velvet coats would say...

"Ah, buck! I hate getting a high command job." whispered the new general. "Lt. tell all officers that we will be having a party tonight to celebrate something..." said Derpy.

"Yes ma'am, Colonel." replied the officer.

"General, I go by general now..." retorted the General in sadness.

Chapter 2: The plan, and the gala.

5:30 PM THS Frosting.

"Chef, please bring out the wine, and food." asked Pinkie. "Ok, let's get talking here. Leftenants, Midshipmen, and Acting Leftenants. In my promotion letter, I was ordered to bring our ship to the Equestrian Ocean, meet with 15 other ships, and apparently, Her lordship, Twilight Sparkle, will be on board one of them to talk to us."

Gasps filled the room. But as that started, the servants brought them their meals.

"A toast to Her lordship, Admiral of the Fleet Pie! And to the success of the Cupcake navy!" ordered the 1st Leftenant.

"AYE AYE!" screamed the officers as the Admiral swung down a full glass of wine.

KNOCK KNOCK. "Per-mission to enter." asked a soft little voice.

"Who is it?" questioned the officers.

"Um, powder monkey Sweetie Bell." replied the soft little voice.

"We don't accept little wana bee's like you in here!" screamed one Midshipman."

They all gasps, everyone new the admiral was good friends with the little lass.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" shouted the admiral as she pulled out a filly lock pistol from her uniform and pointing it at him. "Get out! Your being demoted to seaman! Oh by the way, Sweetie, you can enter."

As the filly entered and toke the ex-officers seat, she asked, "Ma'am, the other powder monkeys and I were wondering, what's going on?"

"Why don't you join us for dinner and find out?" replied the commander.

After Sweetie was briefed on the situation, she gasped in aw. "So, Twilight Sparkle is coming to see you?!" the young lass asked excitingly. "I idolize her!"

"Would you like to meet her?" Pinkie asked with a smirk on her face.

"YES!!!" squalled the filly.

After dinner, everypony went back to their duties. And Admiral Pie ordered to set sail. She also ordered for a marine to fetch Sweetie Bell and bring her in.

"Go on in Sweetie, Her lordship is waiting for you." he told her.

Sweetie then entered. "Ah, hello Sweetie, I have some, great news." said the officer with a big smile. "Since you just recently turned, 16 I believe? Your now eligible to be a Midshipman! And don't worry, I've already filled the paperwork. Congratulations, Midshipman Sweetie Bell. Also, I'll be personally mentoring you!"

The filly (more or less a filly) nearly fainted.

"I-I." stammered  Sweetie.

"I think you've had enough excitement for one night lass. Off to bunk for you. Celestia knows you'll need it for tomorrow." replied Pinkie sweetly. " in fact, I think I'll get some sleep myself.

7:30 AM, THS Frosting.

"Yawn! Aye, what's that noise?" questioned Sweetie. She saw a note on her bunk. It was on a navy blue cupcake uniform. The note read: Here's your new uniform, courtesy of the Admiralty. Cost me 30 bits sterling, but was worth it. -Admiral Pinkie

The newly appointed midshipmen just laughed as she put the uniform on. Then she heard some "interesting words".

"BEAT TO QUARTERS!" yelled the 2nd Leftenant.

"Wait, that means, ah! Were under attack!" jumped Sweetie Bell. She ran up to the main gun deck and saw Pinkie standing at ease and here hat was stained with gun powder.

"Ah, Sweetie Bell. These bloody muffin naval "soldiers" have been hitting us since 3 bells ago. Hell, the 3rd Leftenant got his leg blown clean off!" shouted Pinkie in anger. "By the way, mind commanding the starboard guns, the 3rd Leftenant was doing that..."

"Aye aye ma'am!" she replied.

Now of course, the other officers and crew where shocked when they saw her uniform. Obviously not knowing of her promotion.

She got to the Starboard cannons and ordered the crew to load them. Which, after seeing her rank insignia on the uniform, obliged.

"READY! AIM! OPEN FIRE!" she ordered with great volume. Then, all she could here BOOM! CRUNCH! It was the sound of 70 cannons firing at the enemy ship, blowing 2 decks of cannons to smithereens. She than gave the orders again, again, and again. 2 bells later the ship was underwater... Pinkie walked up with a smirk.

"Bloody hell, you should command guns more often." giggled Pinkie

Around Lunch time(11:30 AM), they reached their destination. Pinkie allowed Sweetie Bell to give the orders to anchor, lower the sails, and raise their flag(a 20x15 rectangle with a pink background to represent their fleet, and a cupcake with blue icing and a red X in the middle.

Not even 25 minuets later, the other 15 ships arrived. Then, Admiral Pinkie ordered a gunner to raise a couple of signal flags that say: All commanders report to flag ship for orders.

By noon, 15 officers in dress uniforms came up in row boats. Including one very special officer. But, as this was happening, Pinkie was putting on her new dress uniform. It was a navy blue cupcake wrapper, with white trim, gold bars, and gold buttons. Then, her fancy hat with gold colored icing, and a diamond colored stripe on it.

"Then, one officer knocked on her door and asked "permission to enter Admiral?" This, was none other then Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie obliged by opening the door and bowing slightly.

"Ok ladies and gentlemen!" boomed Twilight. "First things first, congratulations to you Admiral Pie on your promotion! I will be hosting a gala in your honor tonight on the THS Batter. Secondly, tomorrow morning, by order of the princesses, we will be seting sail of the 13 muffin colonies to fight the rebellion!"

"Yes ma'am!" the officers shouted. KNOCK KNOCK!

"Um, if it isn't a bad time Admiral Pinkie ma'am, I'd like to enter." said Sweetie.

"Enter." said Twilight and Pinkie in union. She opened the door and was shocked by the all the high ranking officers.

"Might I ask who you are?" questioned Twilight with a eyebrow raised.

"Um, Midshipmen Bell ma'am." replied Sweetie nervously.

"Aye, Your lordship, this is the one I was telling you about." whispered Pinkie.

"Ah, so your the one Admiral Pinkie has been talking so fondly of. I also heard you wanted to meet me?" retorted Twilight with curiosity.

"Aye you Lordship! I'm a big fan." said Sweetie holding in her happiness.

"Well, why don't you join us for lunch, and our gala tonight." asked Twilight.

"Aye aye ma'am!" she replied in great excitement.  After that, they all talked. And Sweetie got to talk to some of the best, and highest officers in the entire navy! They even talked till all officers had to return to their ships to prepare for the gala.

Heck! Sweetie even got to borrow Pinkie's old Midshipman dress uniform. Then, they both boated off to their destination.

After that, it was talking to esteemed guests, dancing, drinking, sailor talking, and even a bit gambling till 10:00 PM at night! So, all the Officers went to sleep. Waiting to launch their invasion at dusk.