Guardians of Equestria

by SwiftM0nkey

Rating: mature
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Other, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Changelings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6568

Join Anonymous as he and his six friends save the day with their not so ordinary super powers.

Anon and the mane six find a glowy green rock in the Everfree Forest. Because Anon can't say no to a dare, he activates the rock. The group wakes up to discover that they have been given some pretty strange powers.

Rated mature with the sex tag for heavy implications.

Published 2014-12-05 03:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-05 03:20:09 UTC

Thuper Duper

You sit at the base turning a practice dummy's dong inside out. It seems almost like it wasn't just yesterday that you got these powers.

But it was.

–Earlier Yesterday–

You're sitting in Sugar Cube Corner enjoying a chocolate cupcake when suddenly a yellow hoof smacks it out of your hand. You quickly turn and see an angry Fluttershy hovering there.

“What's the big idea, Shy?!”

She shouts in a forceful tone at you, "You need to help me find Angel! I asked you to watch him for five minutes! Where did he go?!"

You roll your eyes at her. “Look. He look like he wanted the carrot, so I told him let's play fetch.”

She grinds her teeth as you continue.

“I threw it in the forest somewhere. He should be fine, he's a bunny for fucks sake. That's like his natural habitat or some shit.”

You pick up your cupcake again only to have it, as well as the plate underneath, smashed to bits by her hoof.

Standing up forcefully, you shout, “FINE!”

The angry Fluttershy walks right behind you as you leave Sugar Cube Corner

After an hour of walking in the direction that you're kinda sorta sure you threw the carrot, you find Angel just sitting there eating it.

You throw your hands up and turn to Fluttershy. “See! He's fine. Now will you shut the fuck up already?”

She glares at you as you mumble to yourself, “You act like he's your fucking lover or something... Christ.”

Before she responds to you, her eyes move from you and lock on to something in the distance. You look the direction her eyes point to and see a glowing green rock on the ground.

“Oooh... glowy...”

You begin to walk to it when Fluttershy pulls you back, "W-wait, you don't know what that thing would do!"

Scratch your head lightly as you look at the mare, “Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe we should go ask Twilight?”

~One boring walking scene later~

You arrive at Twilight's tree house and knock on the door. It opens, revealing a tired Twilight.

She blinks slowly and groans out, "Yes?"

“Hey Twilight, we found something weird in the Everfree Forest. Some kind of green glowy rock thing.”

Rarity, who had apparently been there the entire time, steps forth.

Her eyes sparkle as she repeats the word you used to describe it, "Glowy?"

Twilight lightly shakes her head at Rarity's obsession with gems.

"That's strange. I've never heard of anything like that. Maybe we should go check it out."

And with that, the four of you head off. Well, you would head off, if there wasn't a huge party float in your way.

“What the fuck?”

A cannon on it fires and Pinkie lands next to you, completely covered in sprinkles and fudge. She sticks out her tongue and it stretches to unrealistic proportions to scrape all of it off her, then licks her lips happily as she looks to all of you.

"Hiya girls! Hey Anon! Where ya going?!"

Twilight answers her, “We're going to the Everfree Forest to investigate a strange rock Anon and Fluttershy found there.”

Fluttershy nods, "Yeah, would you like to come with us?

Pinkie jumps up and shouts, "WOULD I?!"

Now the five of you continue on through the town. You pass Applejack is at her stand as she sells apples with Big Mac.

She steps out of the stand and asks, "Where ya'll goin in a big group like that?"

You explain it in short, “The Everfree, glowy rock, investigation.”

"Ya might need some strength on this adventure."

She joins as well, leaving her brother in charge of the stand alone. You look back at all of the ponies following behind you and Fluttershy.

Great, you've got a herd. Now all that's left is the rainbow one.

"Where do you guys think you're going without me?"

Speak of the devil.

Rainbow flies down and playfully slaps a hoof on your back.

"Where ya going?"

You glare at her.

“To the Everfree to look at some fucking rock, now back off.”

She smiles and punches your arm before going to the back of the group to socialize.

Applejack looks up at her as they walk. "So Rainbow, Ah came because we need some strength, why did you come?"

"Well who's gonna get the flying stuff?"

Shake your head and mumble to yourself, “This isn't going to be a fucking adventure, we're just going to look a rock...”

After a few more minutes of listening to the stupid things the girls talk about behind you, you reach the edge of the forest. The sound of bugs and birds chirping together is almost deafening. You turn to the recently cut up forest path.

You explain to them as you walk to it, “Should be just this way, cause we came here looking for Angel.”

Fluttershy shoots you a tiny look as you say that. You ignore her and lead the pack toward the tiny patch of field in the forest. The green glowing rock sits on the ground, no bigger than a potato.

You point to it and turn to them. “There it is. Nothing too fancy, it's a glowy rock.”

They slowly gather around it, just looking at it.

Twilight speaks, "Maybe Princess Celestia knows what this is? It looks like it's charged with some kind of magic...”

“Twilight, Princess Celestia is on vacation. Her only vacation every ten years. I don't think she'll give a shit.”

Twilight looks angrily at you

"Fine then! You want to grab it?"

You've never been a man to back down from a challenge.

“Maybe I will!”

You rush over before anyone can stop you and grab it. The instant your hands touch it, you immediately regret doing so. Green arcs of electricity burn into your hand and shoot out at the others. It makes all of you drop to the ground shaking like seven people with epilepsy at a rave.

The electricity lashes out at a few trees, slicing them completely in half. The electricity finally stops as a bubble of green slowly closes in on the rock. In a bright flash, the bubble expands and collides into all of you, knocking you unconscious.

When you finally awake, it is quiet. None of the near deafening chirps of the birds and the bugs can be heard. It's almost as if there were none. You look toward the green rock and see that it's no longer there.

You rise to your feet and notice a huge pile of dead and charred birds.

“What in the fuck...”

Then you look at your pony friends who are either groaning or just opening their eyes.

“Are you all good?”

They all rise eventually and nod, seeming to just be a little sore.

"Hey," says Pinkie in a very tame tone for her, "do any of you feel... drained?"

Groans and mumbles from the rest of the group confirm this.

Twilight quickly jumps up and shouts at you, "Watch out Anon!"

You all look at her and stop, seeing no danger around you. She blinks a few times and you raise an eyebrow.

“Are you okay Twili-”

You are cut off as a bear tackles you to the ground. A fucking bear.

Fluttershy screams out, "MR. BEAR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

The bear gets off of you and stands before a raging Fluttershy.

"Now you go home right now and think about what you've done!"

The bear walks away, hanging his head and kicking the ground like a frustrated child.

Rainbow helps you up.

“Thanks.”
You turn your attention to Twilight, “Twilight, how did you know that was going to happen?”

"I-I don't know I just saw it happen... Before it did."

Sounds dope.

“What did that rock do to us?”

You look down to your fingers and a spark of green electricity connects two of them for a split second.

“Hold on guys, I'm going to try something.”

You forcefully push your hand towards Rainbow. A wisp of blue flies out and all of you watch as it approaches her. She backs up and then begins to fly away from it.

"Anon, stop it!"

You shrug your shoulders because you don't know how to stop it. All of you watch as it gets faster and faster until the point where she can no longer dodge it. It hits her, absorbs into her, and everyone braces for something awful to occur. But, nothing else happens after that.

She lands and sighs in relief. "Whew. I really thought something bad was going to happen."

Suddenly, her body begins to change. She grows a bit taller and more muscular, her juicy flank is replaced with a lean and fit one, and her vagina makes a pop sound as it juts outward, forming a penis. All of you stare open mouthed at her.

"What?"

She clasps her hooves to her mouth when she hears her now bass voice. You and Pinkie burst into laughter at this.

"Anon! You better change me back!” screams Rainbro Dash.

You manage to stop yourself from laughing for a few seconds to say, “Okay okay, I'll try.”

You jut your hand at her again and a wisp, now pink, flies over to her. It transforms her body back to normal and her penis folds back inside of itself to form a vagina. When you finish laughing, you explain to them.

“Okay, so I think what happened was that we got powers. Twilight saw into the future and I can change genders of whoever I want. Now we have to find all of your other powers.”

Fluttershy squeaks in excitement.

"Oh my goodness, I've always wanted a power!"

You give her a look as if she's stupid, “Fluttershy, you already have the power to talk to animals.”

Pinkie butts into the conversation, "Yeah, but that's not very useful in regular situations and makes her seem like a weirdo when she's in town talking to the butterflies."

Fluttershy cowers as she imagines this, “A w-weirdo?”

You pat her on the head, messing up her perfectly styled mane. “Forget about it. Why don't you try something then?”

She nods and then juts a hoof out like you did. Nothing happens.

She stomps the ground and shoots air out of her equine nose. "Oh, fiddlesticks!"

“It's okay, you'll think of something eventually, dork. Who else wants to try something?”

Pinkie bounces forward, "Me!"

She throws a hoof forwards. Suddenly the sky becomes dark as clouds roll in fast as shit.

“Whoa! You can summon rain?!”

Pinkie looks at her hoof, completely amazed. "I guess so."

It begins to pour down on you all, but it doesn't feel like rain. It's warm and sticky. You look at your arm and almost throw up.

Turning to the girls, you yell, “WE NEED TO GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW!”

Twilight asks confused, “Why?”

“THAT'S NOT RAIN, IT'S SEMEN!”

Fucking Pinkie.

You all rush out of the Everfree forest and into town, breaking through a random house's door. Bon Bon sits there on her couch. She casually slides over to make room for you as she watches TV. Pinkie and AJ sit next to her and watch some show.

“That was disgusting Pinkie,” you say as you wipe the splooge off your arms.

Thunder rumbles loudly all around the area, shaking the house and making Rainbow jump in fear. A huge blue lazer fires from her mouth as her eyes bulge out, disintegrating the front door. All of you stare at her, except Bon Bon who continues to watch her show with a straight face.

You ask, “Rainbow, what was that?”

"I-I don't know. I just got scared and that happened."

What in the fuck is life right now.

“Okay, that's your power then. Shooting a bigass lazer from your mouth.”

You turn to Pinkie. “Can you make it stop doing this?”

Pinkie shrugs and then throws her hoof out again. The sky clears up just as fast as it got that way. You all step outside to see the moon rising and casting a slightly reflective glow on the jizz covered landscape.

Applejack lifts a hoof up and gags when looking at it. “This is disgustin!”

Everyone agrees by nodding and Pinkie shrugs. “I thought it was cool.”

You start to walk away from the group, sloshing and squishing with each step.

Shout back to them as you're walking away, “I'm going home! You nerds should try to find your powers and practice them!”

Twilight shouts back to you, “We're not nerds!”

Rainbow chortles a bit and then gives Twilight a look. “Says you, the nerd.”

Twilight groans and you turn your attention back forward for the nasty trek back home through the mini swampland of white sludge.

By the time you make it home, the semen has dried enough to make very loud crunch sounds when you step down. After a few more crunches, you get inside of your house. The first thing you do is throw your shoes off your feet.

“Fucking gross.”

You ascend the stairs and take a nice hot shower to get the cock juice off. Afte cleansing yourself, you head into your room and go to bed.

–Present Day: Morning–

You wake up and stretch out, making your boobs do a little bounce in the process.

“Hmmm...”

You change back to a guy, your hair shortening back to normal and regaining your muscle.

“That really comes in handy.”

You look to the pussy juice stained sheets and sigh.

“Gonna have to get new ones then. I should see Rarity.”

You get dressed and head out with the bed sheets under your arm, not giving a shit what anyone thinks. When you step outside, you see that the ponies are singing that Winter Wrap up song while removing the town of it's crusted glaze. Fluttershy meets up with you at the end of the path to your house.

She smiles as she approaches you. "Hey Anon."

“Hey. Did you find your power?”

She excitedly replies, "Yes!"

She then closes her eyes. You hear the knocking of a door and look around confused because you aren't even near any doors. Fluttershy talks to you.

"Can I come inside?"

What the fuck? She isn't even moving her mouth.

“Uh...sure?”

You hear a door open and slam shut. Then you hear papers being moved around.

"Wow Anon... You have a lot of space in here."

Wait...

“Are you in my mind, Fluttershy?”

"Yup! Hey, what's this?"

You hear a click noise and the memory of that one time you got yourself locked in the shed for the weekend with your girlfriend flashes in your mind. After it ends, Fluttershy leaves your mind and opens her eyes, looking at you with a shocked and disgusted face.

Guess she's never heard of fisting before. You shrug and walk with her to Twilight's house in silence. Fluttershy knocks on her door and Spike immediately throws the door open, rushing out.

“What the hell?”

You look inside and see Twilight looking at a spot in the corner with a broom in her magical glow. She slams the broom down on nothing.

“Gotcha!”

As she picks the broom up again, a cockroach runs and stops right there. She moves to hit it again and follows it as it runs around. It runs out between your legs and Twilight stops in front of you.

"Oh, hi Anon."

“Having troubles with your power I guess?”

She rubs her neck with a hoof. "I guess you can say that. I see about five seconds into the future at random times. It's so hard to distinguish that from what's happening now."

“That sucks. We should go see the others, maybe they have learned what they can do.”

Twilight looks to your butter colored companion, "What about you, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy closes her eyes and Twilight looks around confused.

She speaks to no one, "What? No you can't come inside."

Fluttershy opens her eyes and looks down, ashamed. "Well my power is being able to read minds... B-but I can only do it if they let me."

It is silent for a few seconds as you think about this.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-”

Much to Twilight and Fluttershy's disliking, you continued to laugh all the way to Carousel Boutique. You stop when Twilight knocks on Rarity's door.

Twilight suddenly freezes as she stares at you, "Anon, get down!"

You duck, but nothing happens so you stand back up.

Turning to Twilight, you ask, “Really Twilight?”

The door to Carousel Boutique and pussy comes flying toward your face. You pull Opal off you and throw her down to the side, then turn to Twilight and shrug.

“Heh. Forgot.”

Rarity speaks, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her cat just attacked you, "Hello."

Fluttershy approaches Rarity before any of you can speak. “Oh my goodness, are you alright?”

She nods slightly, rubbing her eyes. “I've been up all night trying to get the finishing touches on my special ability.”

"I hope your power is better than mine, Fluttershy."

Shy closes her eyes again. Rarity looks around herself, then back to Fluttershy.

"How in Equestria are you doing that? Sure, come on in."

You stand there as Rarity has a one sided conversation about fashion in her mind.

“AHEM.”

Fluttershy opens her eyes.

Rarity nearly shouts at Fluttershy, "See, that is a great power!"

"But, I can only do it if they let me in."

You smirk to hide your laughter.

"Well, Anonymous, it's still a much better power than this."

Rarity walks forward so that the three of you are her audience. She closes her eyes and breaths deeply in and out. When she opens her eyes, they are completely white. Suddenly a noise begins to come from her. Almost like she's humming, but with speakers built into her own body to make it way louder. She blinks and her eyes return to normal, canceling the noise.

"That's it. I can make sounds magically play."

You applaud her. “That's a fucking awesome power!”

She blushes, "Oh is it?"

“Yeah! Imagine how many people you could deafen by playing a sound really loud!”

She shifts uneasily, “Well, I suppose it could be used like that. I just don't see myself ever needing to erm... Deafen ponies.”

You shrug. “Oh alright. Hey, catch,” you say as you throw your sheets at the mare.

Rarity catches it with her magic, inspecting the slight stains on it. "What happened?"

You shift into a girl and point downwards. “Had a bit of a wild night.”

She blushes hard and looks away from your body, “A-Anonymous, you shouldn't be so open about those kinds of things...”

“I'll be just a moment,” she calls to everyone as she goes back inside.

You look over to the others and see them both with their heads tilted, staring directly at your breasts. Quickly, you change back to a guy and bop both of them on the noses.

“Not explaining that.”

Rarity comes back relatively fast.

“Well that was quick!”

"I always make extras of everything. You can come by later to pick it up."

You nod and start walking. “Okay. Come on, lets go find Applejack.”

Twilight calls to you as you walk away, "What about Pinkie?"

You turn back and look at the three of them. “What about her? I sorta don't want to be drenched in cum again.”

All of them are silent.

“Okay then, to Sweet Apple Acres!”

You head off to the farm. After a few minutes of walking in silence, you approach a tiny bridge over a stream. Rainbow sits on the edge of it, sighing to herself. She has no idea that anyone can see her right now.

“Hehehe...”

You sneak up behind her and grab her sides. She quickly jumps and fires a lazer out of her mouth into the sky.

“HAHAHA!”

"Anon! That's not funny! I was trying to do that all day and you come over and scare me into...doing...it..."

She puts the pieces together and looks angry.

Rarity asks, "What's wrong darling?”

She folds her hooves angrily. "I can't do it unless I get startled... That's how it happened before."

“Well at least it doesn't suck as much balls as Fluttershy's power.”

Fluttershy frowns at you and Rainbow raises an eyebrow, turning to her.

"What's your power?"

Fluttershy closes her eyes again and Rainbow looks confused.

"No you can't come inside."

Fluttershy opens her eyes and sighs.

"My power is to read minds, but I can't do it unless they let me in."

You and Rainbow burst into laughter.

Twilight, unwilling to go through another twenty minutes of laughter from two people, screams, "OKAY! Can we please just get to Applejack's farm already?!"

You cough to stop yourself from laughing. “Fine.”

You make it to the barn and Granny Smith is there on the front porch, enjoying a nice big glass of cold lemonade.

As you approach, you call out to her. “Hello Granny!”

She quickly gets up, knocking her lemonade over. She rushes to the nearest object, a rake, and picks it up. She holds the rake toward you, shaking with anger and fear.

"G-git off mah property, ya alien!"

She kicks an apple that was laying on the ground up at you, but it disintegrates in a field that Twilight casts around you. The purple pony princess proudly prances up to her.

She asks, "Where is Applejack?"

Granny answers while maintaining eye contact with you, "Out in the fields workin'."

She grumbles something about not welcoming monkey overlords as you walk away with the rest of the group. You follow the noise of loud, rhythmic thumping to find Applejack bucking apple trees.

“Hey Jack!”

She turns toward you and looks angry.

"Ah told ya not to call me that Anon. It makes me sound like a stallion."

You shrug as you look at her toughened up exterior. “Close enough.”

She narrows her eyes at you. "What was that?"

When she approaches you, you reach forward and push on her chest, instantly transforming her into a stallion. For some reason though, she's a really bony stallion that looks like she could be featherweight when he grows older.

She looks down at herself in horror and rushes at you. You put your hands up to stop him/her and Twilight sighs at what is happening.

She screams in a deep tone, "Ah'm gonna kill him, Twilight!"

She bucks you and it does absolutely nothing.

Deciding to end her suffering, you say, “Here,” and push on her side, shifting her back into her normal body. She doesn't hesitate on dropping you to your ass.

You groan out as you lay on the ground, “Totally worth it...”

Twilight speaks, "So, now that we're done with that, did you find your power?"

Applejack nods. "I think so."

You sit forward to see what she's going to do, but she just looks at the ground as if she is ashamed.

“So... What is it?”

"I seem to have a heightened sense of sight."

“That's pretty coo-”

She interrupts you, "But only in the dark."

You and Rainbow burst into laughter for the second time today.

Rainbow smirks at her orange, tree kicking friend. “What can you even see better?! The dark?!”

More laughter ensues from the two of you and a tiny giggle comes from behind you. You immediately stop laughing and turn to Fluttershy who is lightly giggling.

She cowers a little as you narrow your eyes. “Shut up Shy.”

You stand up and stretch a little, looking at everyone around you.

Shrugging your shoulders, you ask, “So...what now?”

You motion to yourself, “We got the sex changer.” You point to Twilight, “That's So Raven.” You cast a glance at Rainbow, “Miss Shoop Da Whoop.” You turn to Rarity, “The Music Box.” You look at Applejack next, “Nightvision Mare, and Seed Storm, wherever she is.”

A meek voice calls out, "Y-you forgot me."

You turn to the quiet pony with butterflies on her butt, “No I didn't Fluttershy. You don't count.”

She whines and you look elsewhere. Rainbow flies over and slaps your back with a hoof.

"Well maybe we can be sort of a... team to help the city when it's in danger!"

You rub where she slapped you and nod. “Sounds dope.”

Twilight protests the idea, "But we already are that! The Elements of Harmony!"

You correct her, “Not me.”

Rainbow nods and Twi continues, "I guess you're right on that part, but what kind of danger would we even be helping with?"

“Oh, just the small stuff. Like bank robberies, assassination attempts, world domination-”

"Those aren't small at all!"

“Well we have superpowers! We need to solve super problems!”

A light knock is heard and you slightly turn your head. Fluttershy speaks, "H-Hey Anon...can I come inside?"

“No Fluttershy.”

They all look at her when she opens her eyes.

“That power really sucks Fluttershy. Just use it to talk to us without making sound.”

Her face brightens up at your advice to make her somewhat useful to this team.

–Present Time–

So here you are now, just turning this dummy from a guy to a girl and back. Someone eventually told Pinkie and she came over to Twilight's basement with the rest of you. And because Rarity is a weirdo, she made you all costumes.

Yours is a black suit with both symbols for each gender intertwined. Even though you tried to tell her that would look like your power having both a penis and a vagina, she didn't listen.

Pinkie's suit is pink and where her cutie mark was now shows three sperm. You came up with that one and she thinks it's tadpoles. Fucking idiot.

Twilight's is a dress with a bunch of stars on it and one huge eye on the middle. It's not too special.

Rainbow has a skin tight rainbow suit with the shoop da whoop mouth on the side. They somehow got it almost completely correct having no idea what that even is.

Applejack has a regular looking orange suit with two black eyes on the side. It's okay.

Rarity made herself a fucking music sheet dress. It looks nice, but it's a bit underwhelming for being her own outfit.

And for Fluttershy, you helped Rarity design the costume. She was reluctant at first, but then you gave her some jewels. Cheap horse. Fluttershy's costume is orange with a picture on the side of it. The picture shows a brain with a door and Fluttershy asking politely to come inside.

Anyways, you're supposed to be doing something right now but you aren't paying attention like usual.

Twilight's voice pulls you out of your brain dead state of recollecting past events that someone peeking into your head would need to know in order for a story to be taken place from the perspective of your mind. "Anon!"

“Huh?”

"We have to go rescue the princess from the changelings!"

“What?”

"Were you even listening?!"

You just stare blankly at her and she groans, deciding not to explain, "Ugh... Everypony is waiting for you in the carriage."

You stand up and follow her up and out of the tree house to the carriage with the rest of the ponies. The only spot left inside the carriage is right between Fluttershy and Rainbow. You sit down between the two horsebirds and Fluttershy smiles at you.

"Hi Anon. How are you?"

You do a small thumbs up instead of talking. The carriage quickly begins to rise into the sky when Twilight enters. Applejack looks out the side of the carriage at the slowly darkening sky.

You ask to everyone listening, “So the princess is in trouble, but still has some time to raise the moon?”

They all look at you like you're stupid.

You scratch your head awkwardly, “Uh... Which princess are we saving again?”

Twilight rolls her eyes. "Princess Celestia. If you learned to listen then you'd know that."

Applejack speaks, catching all of you off guard, "Hey look, it's Granny! Hi Granny!"

She waves out into the darkness like a retard. You shake your head lightly.

Fluttershy taps your leg and lightly says, "Anon?"

You look down at her. “What, Fluttershy?”

"What were those things on your chest when you turned into a girl?"

Her question has attracted the attention of all the other ponies.

“Yes, I do recall those large bumps on your chest when you turned in front of me,” adds Rarity.

You answer their question, “They're breasts. Like you have near your lady parts. Human ones are on the chest and a bit bigger in comparison to the rest of their body.”

It is silent for a few seconds as they think about this.

Fluttershy asks, "Can... can you do it again?"

“Why?”

She blushes madly and you hear her clear her throat in your head.

“U-um, I sort of thought they looked uh... nice.”

A smirk creeps onto your face as Fluttershy opens her eyes.

“Alright then, you asked for it, you pervert.”

The others look confused as you shift into a woman, your boobs pressing against the costume so much it feels as if it could rip at any minute. You run your hands seductively down your sides and wink at Fluttershy.

In as low of a tone you can go while still remaining seductive, you speak to her, “You like what you see?”

Her wings slowly open, wrapping around to the front of her face to hide her very blushed cheeks as she slinks down.

You turn back to a man with the snap of your fingers.

“You're pretty weird, Fluttershy.”

Rainbow asks, "Wait... do that again please?"

“Sure.”

You shift back into a woman and she immediately stares right at your boobs. Nowhere else. Fluttershy manages to compose herself enough to sit upright once again. You turn and her snout bumps up against your breasts. She backs up, having been too close to begin with, and quickly hides her face with her wings again.

But she still peeks out at them through her feathers.

“Hmmm...”

You bounce them a little with your hands. All of the eyes in the carriage move up and down, following their movement. You give them all dirty looks.

Your hair shrinks back and your boobs go away as you shift back to a guy. “You're all weird.”

All of them shamefully look away with a hint of red on their cheeks except Pinkie who is staring off into space at nothing. The carriage creaks a bit as the wheels touch down on the ground. You all get out one by one and huddle together.

“Okay, here's the plan: We fuck 'em up.”

Twilight shakes her head. “We have to come up with a plan for this! We can't just rush in without any plan!”

You look around at the others. “Raise a hoof if you want Twilight to keep yelling and give away our position.”

None of them raise their hooves except for her.

“Raise a hoof if you want to fuck 'em up.”

Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity raise their hooves. Fluttershy cowers a little bit, mumbling something about kindness and how fighting isn't the answer. Pinkie is whispering to herself something about chimmycherries or cherrychangas.

You smirk at her. “Sorry, majority rules. Looks like I'm in control here.”

She angrily shakes her head at the lack of seriousness everyone has right now.

You look at Pinkie. “Hey, don't use your power until I say so. Okay?”

She nods and all of you begin the search and rescue.

You approach the main castle doors and see two changelings guarding the area, so you hide around the side of the building to come up with a way around them.

“Fluttershy, fly up to the top of a building. You're gonna be our eyes in the sky. If you see any of them get to close to us just tell me with your power.”

She nods and quietly flies up to the top of a tower.

“Okay, Applejack, you've got strong legs. You're with me.”

The orange pony nods and sticks to your side.

Fluttershy speaks into your head, "Two of them are coming over to your left. They're headed straight for you."

Twilight freezes in terror while staring straight forward at nothing. "They're here..."

“Okay, we've got five seconds, Applejack, get ready to strike once I lure them in.”

She nods and you shift to a woman. You unbutton the suit a little so more cleavage can be seen and walk out.

One changeling screeches out in a high pitched but definitely male tone, "Halt! Who goes there?!"

“Just a poor girl lost in this world!”

It's a damn good thing your voice changes when you do this too. You walk seductively over to them and their eyes fixate on your jugs. Drool begins to run out of the corners of their mouths.

You wag a finger at them. “Ah ah ah... You have to come over here to get some.”

You walk backwards to the alleyway and they follow like zombies. Once inside, Applejack jumps out and cracks one in the back of the head, sending him tumbling down. This alerts the other one who turns to Applejack to strike. You quickly grab him and push your boobs up against his face. He completely locks up and then his eyes roll back into his head as he sways a bit.

"Soo...much...uggghhh..."

He slams against the ground. You shift back into a guy and give a thumbs up to Applejack.

“Nice. Fluttershy how many more?”

"Four."

“Okay,” you say as Rainbow and Applejack drag the bodies into a dumpster.

Fluttershy speaks again, "There is another group of two coming your way, but they're looking in the alleyways as they do. I think you should leave there."

“Got it. Okay ladies, let's get out of here.”

You pick up a carrot that was laying on the ground next to the dumpster and put it in your pocket for later. Then the six of you leave from the other end of the alley and circle around to an alley that they passed already.

“I have an idea. Twilight can you shoot the street light with your magic?”

"I guess so."

She fires a blast of magic at the light, shattering it. That attracts the attention of the two changelings. They come over, but since there is no light, no one can see.

You whisper to Applejack, “Fuck them up.”

A few grunts and thuds are heard, then nothing. Twilight casts a spell of illumination and you see Applejack standing over the two changelings.

“Great. Two more. Fluttershy where are they?”

"They're guarding the doors to the throne room."

Twilight freezes again as she looks at you. "NO, ANON!"

You clasp your hand over her mouth to prevent her from ruining everything.

“What the fuck Twilight?”

Just then a changeling swoops down and picks you up by the shoulders.

She calls out again, "NO ANON!"

Great.

He flies you to the doors of the throne room. Only one changeling is there, meaning that the one carrying you is the second one. You shift into a woman and moan. The changeling looks down at you and drops you in surprise. Luckily, it was only a three foot drop so you land safely as the changeling stares at you confused. You grab his buddy who was guarding and plant a small kiss on his cheek. His entire face goes red and he falls over.

“These things can't even take fake love can they?”

Rainbow comes flying over and cracks the other's neck, downing him.

“Nice.”

She doesn't respond as she stares at your chest, the tiniest amount of drool forming from her mouth.

“Seriously?”

You morph back into a guy and smack her nose, making her recoil in protest while rubbing it with a hoof. The rest of the group all come back over to you now that the only guards around this spot are gone.

“Let's do this.”

You push open the throne room doors and see Princess Celestia on the ground and a bigger bug pony sitting on the throne.

"Ah...who has come to face me?"

“Name's Anon. How'd you know about us?”

She smirks at you. “Changeling's ears are powerful enough to hear a pin drop from a mile away.”

“I don't think that's something to be proud of.”

She raises a hoof and a bunch of other changelings come from the shadows, surrounding you. “I don't believe you're in a position of power right now, Anon.”

You turn to Rarity and say, “Do you know what a mosquito sound is?”

"One step ahead of you Anon..."

Her eyes glow and then the earsplitting 17000 HZ mosquito noise brings all the bug ponies to the ground crying. As the bug queen leans down in pain, you pick up Rainbow.

“H-hey, what are you-”

You aim her at the bug pony and jab her ass with the carrot you found. Just as expected, she fires out a huge lazer in surprise at the big bug pony, disintegrating her instantly. All that remains is a pile of ash.

Rarity stops the noise and the bug ponies look around. Upon seeing only a crown in the middle of ash where their queen once sat, they freak out and break through the windows.

You turn to the pink one and shout, “Now Pinkie!”

Pinkie throws her hoof down and the crack of thunder is heard, followed by loud sploshing outside. The massive gobs of semen come down, sticking the bug ponies' wings together so they crash into the ground. They are coated by the cum and are trapped in their sticky tombs.

As you watch the chaos from the window, Twilight helps Princess Celestia back to her hooves.

She smiles and speaks to all of you, attracting your attention, "Thank you all so much."

...

It's been no more than ten minutes and she's already prepared a parade for you through the cum crusted town. She stands on top of a stage in front of ponies wearing winter clothing.

She speaks, “Ponies of Canterlot... Anonymous and the well known Elements of Harmony have saved my life with their extraordinary powers. I hereby declare them the Guardians of Equestria.”

She steps aside and motions to you. “Why don't you say something, Anonymous?”

You walk forward and look out at the crowd. There's probably thousands standing there watching you, just waiting for the words of wisdom from the leader of the group that has just saved their princess's life and stopped a tyrant from taking over the capitol of Equestria. You clear your throat a little.

“We fucked 'em up.”

The crowd cheers and you shrug as you look back at your team members. Rainbow is the only one moderately happy with what you've said.

And now you're an official team, sworn to protect Equestria from danger.

...

You sit at home bored now, just watching a little TV. Suddenly, the door is blown off with a lazer. You quickly turn and see Rainbow standing in the hole where the doorway used to be.

“RAINBOW, WHAT THE FUCK!”

"Sorry! I thought I saw a spider!"

Fucking Rainbow.

Author's Note