True Friends Stab You In The Front

Sombra walked the streets of the Crystal Empire as the sun began to set. For whatever reason, he felt like he was dragging weights with him, and it seemed to him that it was too often that he felt that way. Things hadn't quite been going his way lately and he could hardly remember the last time he chalked something up in his “win” column. All of that didn't matter right now though, because Sombra had something he knew he could count on to alleviate the anxiety: a friend.

“Y’know, I’d say that you look down in the dumps, but I feel like that wouldn't be giving enough credit to our city’s wonderful landfills.” A unicorn outside a bar spoke as Sombra came into view.

Sombra smirked. “Oh how you wound me Luz. If you’d like I could rearrange your face a bit and then we’ll discuss who the pretty one is.”

Luz laughed. “Aw right, the biggest softie in the Empire is gonna work me over. I’m petrified.”

Sombra looked his friend over. He looked as vibrant as ever, sporting his disheveled gold-colored mane, which all the mares claimed literally shone against his deep blue coat. Sombra reflected on his less stellar colors, a grey coat and a blue mane, not really the most awe inspiring.

Luz raised an eyebrow. “Yo, Sombra, you see something you like? I’m flattered really but you know I’ve got certain turn-offs… like dicks.”

Sombra looked unamused. “Really? Considering how much you love yourself and what a big dickhead you are, I thought you’d be all over that.”

Luz stuck his tongue out. “Loving oneself is the first step to loving others, and then to making love with the pretty mares. Now you gonna stand around all night or are we going in?” Luz nodded his head toward the bar door.

Sombra nodded it return. “Yeah, yeah. The debauchery awaits us.”

Luz pushed open the door. “Debauchery waits for no stallion, you gotta put your ass in gear and go get it.”

Sombra followed into the bar. “I’ll listen to the expert then. Lead on; I’m your lemming.”

The pair made their way to the counter of the shady bar. The place was hardly lit and Sombra was pretty sure there was a twitching stallion in the corner smoking a crystal. The two made their drink orders and shortly after each had a mug in front of them.

Luz peered around the bar. “These places are as endearing as ever. Our trips out just wouldn't be the same without the constant feeling of being inches away from being stabbed in a seedy, mare-less bar would they?”

Sombra took a long drink and put his mug down with a sigh. “You know damn well why things have to be this way Luz. I’m still not really comfortable with it anyway.”

Luz took a drink. “Pronoun game Sombra. What aren't you comfortable with?”

Sombra sighed. “Always making me say it huh? Fine I’ll spell it out: a prince spending time with a commoner. You have to know how wrong that is don’t you?”

Luz shrugged. “I’ll never understand that y’know. We’re both ponies, though I am infinitely more handsome. If you ask me us having to sneak around like this is total bullshit.”

Sombra winced. “You just don’t understand it. Being a prince is way more important than you realize. You know that often princes become kings, and kings are pretty much the most important things there are. What message does it send if a prospective king is out drinking with some commoner?”

Luz turned to Sombra. “To me it says theres a prince in this place capable of pulling his head far enough out of his ass to know that theres more to this Empire than flashy rulers. I say if a prince and commoner drinking is wrong, then to Tartarus with being right.”

Sombra felt a smile creep across his face as he shook his head. “Well then, cheers to keeping our heads as far out of our asses as we can.” Sombra raised his glass.

Luz connected his glass with Sombra’s. “Hear, hear.”

As the two made their toast, light suddenly filled the bar through the opened front door. In through the door stepped a small squad of Crystal Guards who went about scanning the room. As one caught sight of the pair at the counter he made motion to the others who then approached the counter and surrounded the two.

A large Crystal Guard stepped forward as he pinned his eyes on Luz. “It seems the proper order of things is just a lesson never learned for you is it?”

Sombra lowered his head. “Hey, don’t be too angry with him. This is more my fault than his.”

The guard turned his attention to Sombra and pressed a hoof sharply against his throat. “I don’t recall asking you to speak. For all you’ve put us through you know I’ve got half a mind to—”

“Release him,” Luz said sharply.

The guard scoffed. “I’m not going to hurt him. He just need to learn his place already.”

Luz put his hoof on the guard’s. “Lightning Lance, as prince of the Crystal Empire I command you to release him immediately, and I don’t want you to lay another hoof on him.”

Lighting Lance sighed. “As you wish.” Sombra took a sharp breath in as he was released.

Luz shot an apologetic look to Sombra. “I guess one round will have to do for now.”

Sombra nodded his head.

Luz rose from his seat and was quickly surrounded by the guards who escorted him from the bar leaving Sombra and Lightning Lance behind. Sombra made move to turn back to his drink when suddenly the legs of his stool were snapped and he fell back onto his head with a violent thud.

Above Sombra Lighting Lance grabbed the drink. “I was told not to lay a hoof on you, and I didn't. Let me make myself completely clear now though: I’ve put up with you way too long. The next time I have to deal with you, it’ll end with me burying you.” Lighting Lance poured the drink out on Sombra’s face and dropped the mug on his chest.

After Lightning Lance cleared out from the bar Sombra pulled himself off the floor and rubbed his head. Tonight wouldn’t be going in his “win” column after all. In fact pissing off the guards one more time would probably mean there wouldn't be a column left to deal with. Sombra ran a hoof down his face and made his way out of the bar.