Where You Left Off

by Pnumbra

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Spike, Tragedy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 5201

In the wake of Rainbow Dash's death, Twilight discovers a secret she had been hiding from all her friends for so long. Will Twilight solve the mystery or will it only lead to more unanswered questions.

Takes place before Season 3 and after Season 2

After an accident resulting in Rainbow Dash's abrupt and unexpected death, Twilight becomes fascinated with a new discovery: Rainbow Dash's love affair with an unknown individual. Using only her wits and a diary left behind by her newly departed friend, Twilight feels it is only necessary to find this individual and give them the bad news.

With the six friends still remaining, can Twilight uncover why Dash had been hiding this from them for so long or will it just lead to more secrets and lies she had wished she hadn't heard?

Published 2014-11-27 16:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-02 03:30:24 UTC

Chapter 1

The unending rain kept the grass a soft, mushy mixture of brown and green. The six friends surrounded the coffin, readily set in place to be lowered into the ground. A good crowd showed up, making Twilight a little happier on this gloomy day. A large crest depicting a cloud with a rainbow bolt was engraved carefully to the slightest detail on the top of the coffin, splashed with water.

A single rose for each of the six friends, including Spike, rested upon it, accompanied by their many tears accumulating.

Without Rainbow Dash, the group felt as if they were a puzzle with one finishing piece lost under the couch of life. Without her sarcastic remarks and spunk to brighten up their day, what were they to do? Twilight was one of the first to questions these mysteries when she had heard something had happened to one of her best friends.

She was minding her own business, reading in the treehouse, when a knock came to her door.

"Spike, could you get that?"

Spike complied and did so. When he opened the door, his expression changed from his normal warm smile to a look of confusion as Twilight heard him and somepony else whispering outside. Spike had taken a step out to speak with this mysterious figure, and after a few minutes had passed, Twilight placed her book down and made her way to see what was up.

"Spike? You okay?" she asked, opening the door and peering out into the vacant Ponyville street.

"Twilight, over here..." Spike ushered as Twilight caught sight of him. The stranger he was speaking with turned out just to be Pinkie Pie, though her appearance seemed different as well. Her hair was down, a clear indicator that something was wrong in the world. Twilight's confusion raised.

"Hi Pinkie, what's wrong?"

When Twilight had woken up that morning, it seemed to be just an average day. No giant digs smashing Ponyville, no dragons atop mountains breathing smoke into the air, and no Discord doing anything chaotic. She was dreadfully wrong.

The news hit her pretty hard, it was like a shot that the nurse forgot to pull out. You expect it to hit you the hardest in the first seconds, then a relief when it was all over, yet this was only the beginning. She couldn't remember if she had immediately cried, but she knew for sure that she felt faint and had to have Spike and Pinkie help her back into the house.

That seemed some time ago, but it was only a week and a half.

Now, gathered together as one family, they watched Dash slowly moved down into the cold ground, each hoping that there was some afterlife where she could soar the skies freely forevermore.

Twilight kept her eyes on Dash's cutie mark on the coffin.

No pony but Applejack and maybe Apple Bloom truly knew what happened to Dash that fateful morning. Twilight was aware that the three of them were out spending time collecting apples for the next harvest, yet when Applejack was asked what she saw, she would turn away and say "Ah'd think ah like to not talk 'bout that right now."

Even while Dash was alive, though in critical condition, at the hospital that same morning Applejack didn't disclose any details in the matter. Apple Bloom could only do as her sister said and keep her moth closed for now. Poor thing, so young and already experiencing these horrible things, Twilight thought. She showed up to the funeral with her sister.

Twilight had a good idea of what happened to Dash, but couldn't be sure until Applejack spilled the beans sooner or later. Dash was always trying to impress her friends, and maybe tried a little too hard that morning, slipped up, and got in a terrible accident. It was something Twilight didn't want to ponder, but at least it shut up the annoying voice in her head whenever it came along to nag her about the mystery.

As the coffin reached the bottom of the six foot hole, all the ponies listened to the final words of the speakers and departed. The six friends walked in the rain silently, each separating to their houses when their street had passed.

The only ones who were left were Twilight, Spike, and Rarity.

"It's hard to swallow," Twilight said to the both of them in hopes that one would say something and break the awkward silence.

Rarity volunteered, "Yes, dearie... But she's in a better place now. I don't know what I'm going to do with all these orders for dresses I have added on to this. Maybe I should take a vacation from work and close up the shop the rest of the week. What do you think, Twi?"

"I think it's a great idea, Rarity... Spike, Fluttershy, and I are going to go to Dash's home in a few days to collect some of the things she left for Spike and I in her will," she said, a merciful smile across her face with lazy eyes. She hadn't slept for days and kept Spike close to her more than usual. She never knew how venerable it felt to not have Dash around.

"Yes yes, dear. I'll have to go soon as well, she left me the dress I made for her; the one for the Gala. She also left me a few things here and there, which I'm so ever thankful for. Rainbow Dash wasn't always the most... Erm... Generous of givers as you know," she trailed of with a copy cat smile.

"Twilight, let's get home before a storm starts," Spike announced in the awkwardness.

"He's right, Rarity. I'll see you very soon. Please take care?"

"Of course, darling. You too," she smiled and they hugged goodbye, then she went to Spike and whisked him up in a hug as well. Twilight could tell Spike enjoyed that hug more than anything.

The treehouse was very quiet for a little while, as it is in any household after a funeral, Twilight thought. The couch was warm near the fireplace which Spike had just set. They both sat next to each other for a while in silence, Spike keeping his eyes shut and murmuring to himself.

"Spike, you okay?"

"Wha- oh, yea. I was just talking to myself... I miss Dash a lot and I was just saying a few words on her behalf..."

"It's no problem, Spike. Don't be embarrassed. I miss her a lot too, but we will get through this," she said to him, putting a hoof on his shoulder. He smiled and leaned up against her side.

"I'm glad you're being so optimistic, Twilight. If you lost it, I thought would to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... Death and what comes after is a subject of... Particular choice."

"Again, Spike," she said, giving a moody giggle, "what do you mean?"

"I'm just saying, you're really smart, it just never cared to ask or maybe it's none of my business, but I would think you didn't believe in what comes after death."

"Are you saying you don't think I believe in the after world?"

"I guess... Please don't be upset! Everypony gas their own opinion!" Spike said, sitting up quickly.

"I'm not offended Spike, come back here and lay with me," she smiled.

"Sorry Dash's departing has just got the gears in my mind moving. I'm feeling very philosophical I guess."

"Do you believe in an afterlife?" Twilight quickly asked out of curiosity.

"To be honest... I don't know for sure. What I do know is that what you do here in Equestria is what's most important because that's what ponies are going to remember you by."

"That's a very mature thing for you to say, Spike, I'm proud of you," she cooed.

"Aww be quiet, Twi'!" he playfully flicked her side.

"Do you still wanna' know if I do?"

Spike almost forgot, "Oh! Sure," he finished.

"I guess you could say yes and no. I know that something has to happen, right? The universe can't just stop existing just because you die. The world keeps spinning, yet you aren't really there anymore. Maybe we travel to some other dimension or just become a ghost. I don't think that there is some wonderful place waiting for us when we pass, but I'd rather have something happen than nothing!" Twilight concluded, moving her gaze to the fire.

"Now that's something to think about."

Spike and Twi kept talking throughout the night, seeing that neither of them were going to get any sleep. Twilight had been crying the entire week and a half this had been happening, and there were no more tears to spare after the grand finale of water works at the funeral.

She was just glad Spike bad there with her, not wanting to let him leave her sight for a moment. As long as her friends stuck together, she knew that they would be fine and Dash's memory would remain with them forever.

A few days later...

The morning sun rose as the roosters sang throughout Ponyville. The water was almost completely dried up from last night, Twilight noticed. Spike had fallen asleep on her side some point into the night and the fire had died out along with him. The quiet town lay dormant for some time, but once the shops began opening around nine, Twilight forced herself and Spike off the couch to head to Dash's home.

"Are we meeting Fluttershy at Dash's place today?" Spike asked, riding atop Twilight through the streets.

"Yep, hopefully she will be there by the time we arrive, we won't be able to get in the house otherwise."

Twilight had always thought that Dash would be the least likely to leave the six of them. Yes, her hobbies were dangerous and her personality was always ending up with her firing with somepony due to her sarcasm, but she really thought Dash could handle herself.

"I hope she is, I want to see how she held up last night. Dash's passing is really sad, but seeing Fluttershy unhappy just makes me want to throw up," Spike added.

Twilight couldn't agree more, and when they arrived at Dash's house, Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen. They waited a few minutes, then it turned to twenty, then a half hour and still no sign of Fluttershy.

"This is weird... It's not like her to not show up without telling us before hand," Spike looked around, confused. He checked a nearby bush and returned: "she's not in the bush."

"No, really?"

"Just trying to help," he said raising both his hands and showing his palms.

"I'm teasing you, but where could she be?"

Suddenly, a little squeak of a voice came from above them. It came from a window in Dash's cloud house. Fluttershy's head poked out the hole.

"I'm up here, guys!" she said, floating down.

"What were you doing up there, Fluttershy?"

"Just looking around and collecting some things Dashie gave me, so very kind of her," she responded.

Fluttershy looked a little different... Maybe it was the expression on her face or her stature, hut Twilight could tell she was hiding something. Spike on e other hand wasn't paying too much attention to how Fluttershy was acting, and more about how she was holding up.

"How are you, Fluttershy?" he asked.

They chitter chattered for a while, and to Spike's delight, she said she was doing relatively well.

"That's good to hear," he said, smiling.

"Please please come in, the both of you! I'll lower down the house for you," Fluttershy flew up to the house and broth it down with ease, light as a feather.

The trio entered the house and Twilight removed a list given to her by Dash for the things to collect. While they were packing up certain things, Spike did his own thing, looking at some if the pictures of Dash in the hall. He starred at them for a long time, but Twilight thought it best to just leave him alone when Fluttershy inquired her about him.

"I need to talk to you, Twilight," Fluttershy whispered to her friend and pulled her into Dash's bedroom.

"I do too, Fluttershy. You're acting... Different. Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh, um.. Yes I'm fine... But there's something I found in Rainbow Dash's room that I think you need to see."

"Oh? And what is it?"

Fluttershy trotted over to Rainbow Dahs's nightstand next to her bed and opened up the drawer, removing a small book. She handed it to Twilight and said nothing.

"Is this suppose to mean something, Fluttershy?"

"It's Rainbow's diary!" she whispered harshly.

"Oh... You weren't.... Reading it, where you?"

Fluttershy's lip quivered, "Well not exactly... I was waiting for the both of you to arrive at the house when I decided to start packing up the things Rainbow left me before hand... When I saw this in her room on her bed wide open."

"She must have forgotten to put it away before she went with Applejack, that's not a big deal."

"But it is, Twilight... I was going to put the diary away when a few words caught my eye on the page it was open on. I'm so guilty! I took it and began reading while you two were waiting for me outside!" she whispered even harsher than before, acting in a flutter-panic.

"Well I wont condone you, but you really shouldn't have, Fluttershy. It's invasion of privacy, alive or not," Twilight said, examining the cover of the diary.

"I know, I'm a terrible pony, but Twilight... I read some stuff in there that you may find very interesting..."

"... Okay..." Twilight trailed off in a question.

"Rainbow Dash loves- loved somepony."

Twilight didn't think to much about it at first, but Fluttershy continued.

"At first I always thought Rainbow Dash was one of this girls who was it into the whole 'dating scene', but what I read in there will make you want to cry, Twilight."

Twilight was now curious, levitating he book magically in front of her. She opened the book and began to read the first few lines.

"It's nothing out of the ordinary, Fluttershy!"

"Here, I think you should take it home and give it a good once over, I couldn't even finish half of it before you two showed up so I didn't get to any good parts," Fluttershy motioned, walking towards the door.

"Who do you think she loved then?" Twilight asked her departing friend.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure, Twilight... But I think it's-"

"Are we done yet?" Spike poked into the room, silencing Fluttershy.

"Yes yes! Of course we are," Fluttershy turned to Spike.

"Good, it's tough being in here, I think I need to go for a walk. Twilight I'll see you back at the treehouse?"

"Yes, Spike, but don't be out for too long," she said, still uncomfortable with Spike leaving her side again.

Fluttershy quickly turned back to Twilight, "Read it and we will talk later," then she helped Spike out of the house, leaving Twilight alone in Rainbow's bedroom.

After a few minutes of grabbing her new belongings, she departed as well. Walking back, Twilight starred at the book endlessly. What could get Fluttershy so riled up? Who did Rainbow Dash infatuate herself with? Why do I even care so much? She thought hard but couldn't come up with a real reason.

Twilight followed the trail leading to her home after a brainstorming session to calm her nerves. Twilit couldn't put her hoof on it, but she felt compelled to find this pony... What if they didn't even know Dash had passed? What if they didn't even life in Ponyville? Twilight needed a break.

It was tough to have all these scenarios rushing through her mind. When she reached her front door, she entered and sat back down on the couch, opening the diary and started reading a random page.

Dear diary,

Today I ate an apple, saw Rarity, and attempted a new trick I've been making up called the 'dash-bolt-dare dive'. It's a work in progress, but I think it's coming along nicely. I haven't gotten a letter from my love in a while, but he insist that I don't let any pony know about us until the time is right. I miss him soooooooo much!

Twilight though about what she just read.

"At least we know it's a male... That's a start."

Every time I get a letter or visit him once a month, he's always complaining about how it's too dark there and he wants to see the sun and open air... But he can't. I keep telling him that only bad will come of it, the big dummy. One day he'll just have to accept the fact that his time for flying is over!

"Was she dating a pegasus?"

I know, I know, I feel bad about doing it, but it's just too risky. What would the people of Ponyville think if he came to visit? They'd freak out. They'd see him as a danger when he's as gentle as a fly.

"A deformed freak of a pegasus? Jeez, Rainbow Dash, what are you saying?"

He says that one day he will come to me when I don't expect it, but I told him no and to stop being so stupid. They wouldn't accept him for who he is, neither would my friends for that matters they'd call me crazy... Am I?

The next page was ripped out, but Twilight could read a few words on the edge before being cut off-

He's so handso-

Too ho-

And if anyone kn-

Unacceptable-

I love hi-

He says-

Dragon-

Twilight stopped there.

"... Dragon?"

Chapter 2

The sound of Twilight's hooves echoed in the library study. Spike had gone to bed, yet Twilight stayed up, thinking about what she had just read. She still had a large amount of that diary to finish, yet in that simple passage she was already intrigued.

What does Rainbow Dash have to do with a dragon? Was she protecting her friends? Was she friends with a dragon? Why would she keep that a secret?

Every time a dragon pops up into the equation, there is always the same question: how big is it? If Dash had been hiding this from them, is it large enough to sack the town? Throughout that passage, Dash kept saying that it was impossible for her lover to come see her in Ponyville. Did her lover have a dragon for a pet?

She thought that most of those hypotheses didn't make much sense since dragons were sentient creatures, Spike for instance, and they had their own free will. Dash was always a free spirit type of mare, but she never thought she would go to this length.

Then again, she could have just underestimated her deceased friend's determination to do extra-ordinary things.

A knock at the door interrupted Twilight's concentration. The door opened with a slow creak as a familiar face looked at Twilight with a worried face.

"Applejack?"

"Howdy , Twi', can ah' come in for a bit?"

"Please... Make yourself at home," Twilight faded as she moved to allow her country friend in.

She took a seat on the couch, "Ah'm sorry for comin' in so late, but ah just needed to talk to somepony."

"Well I'm always here to talk, are you okay?" Twilight asked hesitantly. She was hoping that Applejack would finally tell her how Dash passed, but at the same time, it made her a little sick to think about. A chill went down her spine.

"It's about Dash, Twi'. Everywhere ah go, ah keep seeing her. Ah see her in mah mirror when an look at mah reflection, ah see her prancing through the fields to help with buckin' apples, ah even see her when ah look in a Apple Bloom's eyes. Ah miss her."

"I miss her too, Applejack, but it will get better in time," she began, putting a sympathetic hoof on her back.

"But it won't, Twi'. Bein' the Element of Loyalty is tough work, darn it! It's eatin' me alive, but she made me promise not to tell!"

"What are you talking about? Tell what?"

"That's just it, Twilight... Ah can't tell you what happened that day. Dash made me promise on her dying breath not to."

"I understand... But why wouldn't she want to let everyone know what happened?"

"Pride, maybe. Ah don't know for sure, but when ah saw her for the last time in the hospital before she left... She looked at me in the eyes and said 'promise me you won't tell anybody'. Ah nodded and then she was gone."

"It must have been pretty bad to have a closed casket at her funeral..." Twilight didn't really know why she said that, and immediately wished she didn't.

"How could ya say such a thing!" Applejack looked away in disgust.

"Apologies, Applejack I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, Twi'... Ah've just been dealin' with a lotta stress. Ah'm sorry for budging in like this so late, but ah needed to get this off mah chest."

"It's okay, Applejack. Do you need me to walk you home?"

"No, ah made it here alone by myself, but thank ya kindly."

"Then before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"... I found Rainbow's diary... She apparently had a relationship with somepony, but I don't know who or where... I've been trying to find out who it was, I guess I've just been a bit snoopy lately."

Applejack's tone changed and she started making her way to the door, "Ah don't know nothin' bout that, Twilight."

"Oh... Well thanks for stopping by!" she said as her friend hastily made her way across the room.

"If ah was you, Twilight; Ah'd toss that book in the fire."

Applejack was gone before Twilight even had a chance to speak again. Spike stumbled down the stairs in a sleepy haze to find Twilight standing in the middle of the room looking at the door.

"Have you finally gone crazy, Twilight?"

"I don't know, Spike. I just don't know," she said, looking towards the diary sitting on the table.

***

The morning sun had begun to break through the trees, roosters were crowing, birds chirping, and the busy life of Ponyville had started up once again. There were almost no clouds in the sky, a perfect day to do a sonic rainboom if the only pony who ever lived in Equestria to do one was still around.

Twilight sat on a park bench with Spike, whipping through a few more pages in the diary.

"I don't understand, Spike. Half the pages in here regarding her lover are either ripped out or scribbled on and the other half are just her boasting about how handsome and perfect he is. She never makes a single mention of where this guy is!"

"Maybe she was afraid that you or somepony else was going to find it. She was obviously shy when it came to these things."

"Perhaps... What do you think Applejack meant when she told me that I should burn it?"

"Maybe you just should, Twilight. Rwinbow Dash is gone, there's no need to do any of this."

"You too, Spike?"

"Sorry, I just don't understand why this is such a big fuss to you... She was a great pony who lived well and... Passed on. Shouldn't that just be the end of the story?"

"No, Spike. Somepony can't just end a story like that. Dash deserves this, what if her lover has no idea that she is dead?"

"I don't wanna sound like a drag, but who really cares, Twilight? I'm sure they'll understand eventually when she stops writing to them or when word spreads that she's gone. Sure, it'll be tough to take in, but everything moves on."

"Have you already moved on from Dash?"

"No, not exactly... But I know she's gone and I'm going to have to deal with that," he said, looking down at the ground from the bench, hurt.

"I'm sorry, Spike..." she said, resting her head on his.

"It's okay. I'm not going to stop you from doing what you're doing, but please take care and don't get too carried away with it? The world just got a lot darker and normally, you're the one who brightens it up."

That made her smile and give him a hug.

"Thanks, Spike," she smiled and rubbed her hoof into his head, "you're my number one assistant!"

"H-hey!" He laughed, wrestling her.

They began to walk back home in hopes of getting some work and chores done, yet the only thing on Twilight's mind was the diary and her desire to crack the code.

"Spike, could you go get my magnifying glass?"

Spike came back and handed it to her, enlarging each word written out in the somewhat messy handwriting of her friend.

I remember when I was a filly in Cloudsdale... My parents used to tell me I was going to be the best flier in the world, that I was gonna amaze everypony, but they seemed to care more about everypony else's opinion more than mine. When I left the Flying Academy and started living on my own, I stopped keeping in touch with them for a while. I still write to them every now and again, but I still don't keep a steady relationship with them.

I guess that's why I'm so attached to him, I've never loved anypony... Well actually, I love my friends, but never loved loved somepony before. None of the colts wanted to date me in junior high or high school... None of the mares wanted to either. I guess I'm just misunderstood. That's a good way to put it in a nutshell.

Twilight and the others think they know the real me, but sometimes I wonder if even I do... Am I kidding myself? Am I crazy? Everyday, I think more and more about my friends, my parents, him... It's like I'm trying to play on two baseball teams and it's impossible to win on either. Sometimes I try to blame others for my problems, but that's just another excuse... I did this. I put myself in this situation and it's time for me to make a choice.

"You poor mare..." Twilight said to herself as she read across each line. It was the same theme every sentence, always vaguely regarding her partner or blaming herself for her problems. What was this choice she was talking about?

If anybody deserved attention, it would have to be Rainbow Dash. Her skill at flying and determination were already enough to be a great role model, yet in these pages, she thought she wasn't good enough.

"Put that book down for a sec and help me," Spike interrupted, holding a stack of books ready for cataloging. She levitated them over to the book cases and helped Spike as he climbed the ladder, handing him a book at a time.

"Dash seemed to be a little depressed near the end of the diary."

"We've all had our bad days," he said, focused on the book stacking.

"You don't think she was going crazy or anything?"

"No, at least not since the last time I saw her."

"When even was the last time you saw her, Spike? I never even thought to ask!"

"I think it was when I saw her down by the market place... She was buying a lot of food and stuff, so I asked her if she needed a claw," he said, recalling from his memory.

"She didn't seem any different?"

"Not to me, but it looked like she was gonna' pig out on all that food she was buying. That was maybe a day before her accident?" he asked himself, "yeah, that's about right."

Twilight thought for a second, something in the back of her head seemed to be tugging some strings. Dash buying a large amount of food, even though she wasn't a heavy eater. She always boasted about her fitness, which didn't connect to what Spike had just told her.

"Maybe she was feeling depressed then and wanted to eat away her problems?" Spike asked her.

"Possibly... I think we should head back to her house tomorrow in search of clues."

"Clues for what? Her colt friend?"

"Yes, and maybe even something more!" she said as she finished levitating up the last book to Spike.

***

The moon was high and full in the sky, Luna was very generous that night for sure. Twilight lay in her bed, the sound of Spike snoring and the crickets chirping were like a small private symphony of peace in her ears. It was the perfect time to asses her info, just like she was taught by herself.

Rainbow Dash was gone, but what she left behind was like a trail leading to... Something. That something was bugging the hay out of Twilight.

Deep down, it felt like Dash wasn't even dead, her presence was still there in Equestria. It was like a disturbance in the magic that Twilight could sense. Dash's affair, her death, her diary, everything seemed to be like puzzle pieces and it was up to Twilight to solve it.

A lost love...

A suspicious diary...

An unexpected death...

What does all that even mean? Twilight was lost in her own thoughts so badly, she drifted off to sleep before she even knew what happened.

When Twilight awoke, she was no longer in her own bed, but at Dash's house in Dash's cloud bed. She was startled at first, but the realized where she was. This wasn't the first time she had sleep teleported before, but now that she was at Rainbow's house in the middle of the night, this was the perfect time to do a little detective work.

Twilight searched the house top from bottom for hours while she still had the moonlight. She checked every drawer, table, chair, crack, crevice, and even the cloud cushions in the couch. She was about to give up when she came to the last room, Dash's closet, and made a peculiar discovery.

There was a crawl space in the back of the closet to which Twilight opened posthaste. Crawling in and using her horn to light the dark area, she saw that there were many boxes of storage situated and stacked messily.

As she looked through the boxes, she stumbled upon one written on in black ink: RD & SJ.

"SJ?" she asked herself as she opened the box.

It was empty.

All that work for nothing apparently!

But wait... Twilight's eye caught something - stuck to the bottom of the box was a tiny note with a list:

Get supplies. Check.

Write final letter. Check.

Burn diary.

Tie up loose ends. Check.

Set a meeting with Applejack. Check.

In large letters at the bottom read:

DIE.

Just as she read it, the rooster crowed to signal daylight.