Roses are dead
and Violets are too
Love is alive
But will she be true?
It's a beautiful day today. A great day I suppose. A great day for writing. Again I'm down to only a few options in life. I tried changing my life and I ended up doing something wrong. I've always tried to do the right thing. Well the right thing led to a wrong thing.
Mother was right. We all can't be saints.
Oh well. I guess I might as well leave a little bit of my conscious and thoughts behind right? Who knows. Somebody might stumble upon it facing the same thoughts I did. Maybe this will help them out a bit.
I guess an introduction needs to be written first. Hello. I am Red Rose. A strange name for a young stallion as myself. Well, I guess I'm more of a stallion due to uh... recent events. I'm a weak and horrible red coated stallion that you'll probably hear about soon enough really. By the time someone finds this, I'm sure everyone will know the name by now. Than again if they find it than nopony will even learn anything.
Anyway. I'm Red Rose and I guess I'm a bit of a criminal. I guess saying a bit is really less than what I did. My home town is Pegacity unimportant. I'm sure they don't want ponies knowing that I'm from there. I mean a criminal from such a small and pretty place would be horrifying to people. Their reputation wouldn't really last long. Though I guess I'm rambling a bit seeing as how my situation is so dire and all.
So yea. Now that you know a bit about me, I guess I should tell my tell.
It all started on a rainy day.
I stand waving my hoof at the mare I've managed to hook up. Standing there and watching the two cling onto each other is pretty annoying. After all, it should be me holding her. Though I guess thoughts like that can be damning. I mean, I did see her first. But I guess that's why I'm considered the bitch of the town. Just do good and walk away as usual.
I turn and start walking the other way with my head lowered down. The rain pelting against my coat and soaking my mane feels heavier than usual today. Though I guess the depression that's settling in proves to be my undoing as well. I look over my shoulder to see the couple is already gone.
She's gone from my life and into a better one. I guess. After all, no one can be sure about everything. I'm just assuming at this point. Though I guess what ever keeps the soul happy really. Though I'll probably hear the same shit from Violet again.
He's always a prick when it comes to things like this. Find a girl and keep her he always yells! He doesn't know anything if I say so myself. It's easier for him to say shit like that because he picks girls up all the time. He's such a player compared to me.
I shake my head trying to get rid of those corrupt thoughts. Damning thoughts like mine are probably going to corrupt me one day. Oh well. I've been doing this for years. What's another day going to do?
I make my way into a nearby alleyway to get to my home faster not wanting to get sick and have Violet take care of me. Every time he does all he does is make the same soup over and over again while talking about his current relationship.
I guess that was my first mistake. That's when I met her. Her name isn't important terribly important to know right now. Even now when I think of her my heart still does flips. That pink coated mare of my dreams. She really took my breath away if you can believe it. Though, If I had known I would've ended up here I would've kept away from her. Though I guess it doesn't matter any more. I'm sure some other version of me decided not to take that shortcut that night. Or maybe another version of me is happily married to her.
Oh well. I guess there's no need to dwell on the past. After all it's damning and Celestia knows I'm damned enough.
A man stuck in the past can't move on to the future. Than again I guess I don't really have much a future. Man... My mom would kill me if she saw what I had done. Well I met her there in the alleyway and that's when corrupted my path started.
I stand watching this girl moves around sluggishly in the alleyway. Even with her matted down coat and mane, she looks gorgeous. It's almost like the weather was meant to do this all along. I watch her with my heart fluttering all while watching her.
Than she looks up and our eyes meet. I can read the unsureness in her eyes. As if she's lost both on the outside and inside. Yet, my heart stops and the words I were about to speak get caught in my throat and are lost to me.
"H-Hello." She speaks out in such a fragile and shaky voice, "W-Where am I?"
I can't speak for a seconds. My mind pulls up a complete blank as I watch this shivering beautiful mare stand there and look at me with total confusion written all over her face and eyes.
"P-P-Pagacity." I manage to speak up.
I give a small cough before walking towards her, "Why don't you come home with me. You seem lost and we shouldn't be in the rain. Maybe we can figure out where ya live on the way."
She nods her head and she follows behind me cautiously. Though she's close behind me. I feel her body pressed against my hip and I slow down and accept her as she presses her body against mine trying to share our body heat. I've always been a stallion who seems to give off a lot of body heat. I never really understood why nor did I ever go to a doctor about it. I just went with it. What ever gets me closer to love really.
I lead her back to my home that's only a bit of a walk from that alleyway. I bring her inside and I sit her in the living room and start up a fire to get us both warm. I don't have a dragon fire heater for my home, so I use my traditional ways. I quickly find that she's attracted to the red roses all over the house.
"They're so pretty." She says taking one from a vase on the coffee table, that Violet bought for me, and examines it.
"Well I've been told that I have a green thumb." I say with a chuckle trying to get back more into my casual style of talking and acting.
Though I can't keep my eyes off her body. Her sweet delicate body. So many things run through my head that I know I'll never act on. It's such a pity too. I know she'll probably regain her senses and leave out of her telling me she'll get her boyfriend to come beat me up. Than I'll probably be rescued by Violet. Again.
I wish that had happened. Now Violet is most likely... No. I'll keep positive about him. Perhaps he's fine. He's always been the tough one between us two Not saying that I'm fully weak. We all have our strong points.
Though I'll miss him. We've been together for far longer than I care to remember. Even when we were colts, we stood together. I bet he hates me now though. I wouldn't blame him honestly. I hate myself a lot right now. I'm sure no one hates me more than me.
Than again, Violet knows how to hold a grudge against somepony.
I guess I should probably get back on track. I don't think I have a lot of time. I can hear shouting in the distances and it really doesn't sound friendly.
The days with her go fast. Soon they turned to weeks and I got to know her a bit better even with her amnesia. We've asked around the town and nopony seems to know anything about her or her home. It's sad really. All I really know about her is that she has amnesia, her name is Love Heart, and apparently her cutie mark has something to do with thoughts. I think. Cute Marks aren't always clear about what they are.
I move through the living room as Love reads through one of the many romance novels I've bought for her. She's addicted to those things I swear. I bought a entire ten book series and she's already finished it. Honestly, I don't think she even sleeps. It's almost like those novels give her power. A scary thought on that one.
I start to head up the stairs when a knock sounds on the door. I give a rough sigh and head back down from the mid point of the stairs. I open the door and a stallion, pristine white with almost a manly glow, stands there with a worried look on his face. A dread spreads through my gut. I have to will myself from glancing at Love in the room over.
"Hey man. Have you seen a pink mare anywhere?" He asks with a baritone voice.
Dear Celestia. He's so chiseled. Even his voice seems chiseled.
My first thoughts are to say no and close the door. It feels like it would be in my best interest to keep the two separated. I mean, I've lived weeks with this girl and nothing has popped up. Me and her have formed a type of life together. Violet is proud of me and keeps telling me I should seal the deal with her. A couple days ago we shared our first kiss. Our first kiss! I didn't want to let her go.
But my instincts are better than my mind. I step back and motion to the living room with closed lips. I make my way behind him as her runs over to her and hugs her. He speaks of so many wonderful things. Many things that spark something in me. Denial? Jealousy? Maybe a combination of them.
And their connection seems to jog her memory. Go figure. Another tell of how I lose the girl and the other guy gets what he wants. The same. Old. Bullshit... I do everything right, yet I reap none of the rewards. I play it safe and win the heart, yet some guy much thicker and manly comes along and suddenly. I'm left in the dust by myself. Just like I started.
I don't know when I moved. All I know now it that there's blood all over the floor and Violet's vase crushed into piece all over the floor. Love is crying and screaming at me. Murderer? No. I wouldn't do anything of the sorts. After all. I love her. So why would I hurt her life? She knows I'm only doing this cause I love her. Right?
No. It's not jealousy. I'm just making sure I keep what belongs to me. It's natural.
"Shhhhh. Calm down. Everything is fine." I say to try and reassure her.
She slaps my hoof away and than slaps me. It doesn't hurt. In fact, it lets out something inside of me. Something deep down. I move towards her and her hoof comes in slow motion. I catch it and hold it there. Our eyes locked in a fight of their own. Her pretty eyes locked with mine sends a shiver down my spine. A shiver of bliss.
I throw her down. Out of love of course. She has to understand that I'm hers and she's mine. I kiss her and hold her down by her chest as she flails against me. She hits me against the side of my head, but I don't care. This feeling I've never felt before keeps me from feeling the hurt. I cover her mouth to shush her. I sh into her small right ear softly as I listen to her lovely sobs and her rising heart beat. I can even feel my other self bobbing in between my legs as it feels the heat radiating off her lower regions.
I keep my right arm over her mouth as I reach back and feel along my tingling member. I can't even remember how long its been since I last jacked off. I should've sooner, but the way she tease me with her orbs and gives me hints that she wants more from our relationship keeps me from it in hopes that we'll come together like we both want. Now I'm ready to follow on those hints. I'm ready to give her what she wants. And I want.
I grabs her lushes pink orb and give it a hard squeeze as I lower myself and rub my member against her labia. I can even feel her tits poke against my throbbing member. It's so wonderful. Even the tears that fall from her eyes make me ecstatic. I lick her face and her tears fueling me with more energy.
I shove my pulsing self deep with her tight folds. Her screams sound like pleasure to me as I ravage her. Her tights folds are the greatest in the world. It's my first time and I can tell by the way she massages me that this is not her first time. I keep slamming into her folds while keeping her quiet while listening to the mix of her screams of terror pain and blissful pleasure. It's amazing. Too amazing. The carnal bliss feels like it lasts forever. Soon I found myself climaxing deep within her.
After doing such I start to come down from my high confused and dazed.
I wish I hadn't. I wish I could've made amends for what I did. I came down and I realized what I did. I regretted it. And at the same time I didn't. I still don't know what made me snap. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with what her cutie mark was. Maybe. I guess I'm trying to put the blame on something.
Sorry if the writing gets mess around here. I had to move because they got too close. I can't stop now. I kind of want to finish what I started before they catch me.
I just want to tell you reader. Be careful of your choices. You can do good for all of your life and do one bad thing to ruin it forever. You can hurt your sfriend dna friends and the ones close to you. I fucked up and did the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Violet found me over her crying form and we fought.
The pages seemed to be ripped in different spots and blood is over a lot of spots. As if a struggle had taken place of the journal.
I think he's dead. I did something bad again. I didn't want to. Maybe I should burn this thing. I mean what's the point? I guess I'm writing for comfort now. You don't have to read on.You can even forget you saw all of this. Live your own damn life. Don't let people guide you!
I scratch through the latest part and jump as I hear the breaking of limbs and crunch of leaves under hooves. I drop the journal below me and make sure the vine is tightly secured. I look to my right to see my friend and greatest ally still and no longer bleeding from the limb through his chest. I'm a horrible pony. Horrible ponies have horrible lives. I let myself fall and let my body go limp as I feel weightless. As I fall I think of all the choices I've made, my family, my friends, the girls, and her.
I'm glad she's my last thought. Maybe I'll see her in Tartarus.
Author's Note
Just wanted to try out a different style of writing for a bit. I'm been in a rut lately and haven't really gotten any grand idea about where to take either of the two stories right now. Though, I want to see how people react to this first before I try them out in the story.
