Just Your Luck

by ace_attorneyfan800

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Random, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 2436

Your usual Saturday evening has landed you smack dab in the middle of the First Official League of Extraordinarily Cute (Sometimes) Evil Villains Council Meeting. This is gonna get bad...

You used to be a normal average brony. You watched the show, enjoyed the Equestria Girls movies, and bought some of the merchandise from both MLP and Equestria Girls brads. Nothing could even go wrong on a Saturday right? Well wrong. While going around town in your car some probably drunk idiot decides to go on the wrong side of the road and crashes into you. You wake up to find yourself alive and your car in one piece as you land smack dab outside the Everfree Forest. Wanting to go to Ponyville to see if Twilight had a way to get you home you parish the thought as you see Flim And Flam, Gilda, and Trixie go into the entrance. You follow them only to end up in more trouble then you would've liked.

(Based on this Equestria Daily post from May 22, 2013:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2013/05/discussion-which-fim-villian-would-you.html)

(Teen for, if you call it that, "normal" human behavior)

(This will try to contain as many MLP villains as possible)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-29 00:02:17 UTC

Why Me...

We all wonder what it would be like to be the minion of the main villain. Bowser and Ganondorf are a few examples. Though some wonder what it would be like to be the minion of an MLP villain. Like the magic sucking Tirek, the love bug Queen Chrysalis, or partners with the Flim Flam brothers, we all wonder what it's like. What if I told you that that's what's gonna happen to you? Don't believe me? I didn't expect you to. But still, most people wonder though what it's like, and as you read you learn what it's like as you become one, but with a choice at the end. And before we start, all I have left to say is keep this in mind, "Who's side are you on?" And with that, lets begin.

You were in the kitchen turning off the light to the room and making sure the fridge was full so you didn't have to make a trip to the store while out on the road. Today you decided to go out on the road and get out of the house instead of just replaying Silent Hill 2 over and over again. After turning out all the lights and grabbing your car keys you went into the garage to find your prized possession, a black 2010 Camaro SS with the decals from Flash Sentry's car in Equestria Girls one. Oh, I forgot to mention that you were cosplaying as him as well for this drive. Getting in you plugged in the keys and started it up, pulling out as soon as you put the gear shifter in reverse. Getting onto the road as straight as possible you shifted the gear to drive and pushed on the gas pedal.

You're not sure how long you've been driving, but outside your car it was dark out so you figured it was time to get home. All of a sudden though in the distance you saw a car going down the same road as you and you started to panic as you saw it out of control and a cop chasing it.

"Damn drunk drivers!" You said under your breath

You tried to turn your car only to find the wheel jammed.

"What the hell?!" You shouted

You try to turn it but you still see the drunk driver heading towards you and at fast speeds as well and getting faster as it closes in. Panic begins to form in you as you realize your wheel won't budge at all. You look at the road again and see it's only 50 feet closer to crashing into you. You pray to Celestia and Luna that the driver would miss or your wheel would get unjammed, but all that hope goes away as in two seconds the drunk's car smashes into yours and then everything goes dark.

You suddenly wake up with a jolt as you find yourself in some kind of security office and in an office chair with a tablet connected to it. You pull it up as you hear the phone ring and the first thing you notice is the animatronic characters from Five Nights at Freddy's were on stage, but it was strange. Not the dream. You had been having these types of dreams lately ever since your played the first one and it's squeal/prequel  which you gave the nickname of Five Nights at Freddy's 0 instead of 2. But in the dreams it was always the same, you'd be in any of the two pizzerias and you'd have the same objective every time, survive the night, which you somehow never get past 5 A.M for some reason.

This time it was different, you were in the pizzeria from Five Nights 0 but the original animatroics were there, including Foxy the pirate. You couldn't find any of the new animatronics there, not even the puppet. One thing was certain though, you didn't have a mask this time, if they caught you it would be game over. One thing about these dreams were certain though, you would always wake up in pain and the phrase "IT'S ME" would repeat in your head. Looking at the cameras you saw static as you panicked trying to find them as you gained back control. You found Bonnie in the left air vent, Chica in the right one, Foxy in the middle hallway, and Freddy still on stage.

"How the hell did they get there so quickly?!" You shouted spamming your flashlight on and off on Foxy

However during your spamming you failed to notice that Bonnie and Chica had managed to slip right into the office and were right behind you. You felt a shiver down your spine as you looked behind you and saw the two with evil grins on their faces.

"Fuck." you squeaked very quietly

"Well what do we have here ch-ch-ch-ch-Chica?" Bonnie said in a demonic glitchy voice

"A metal endoskeleton without it's costume on b-b-b-Bonnie." Chica said in the same voice

"Yaar me m-m-m-maties!"

You turn around to see Foxy  pick you up with your shirt via his hook and pulled you up to his eye level.

"Rule breaks be walking the pla-pla-plank!" Foxy said in his normal pirate voice

"PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" You shouted under pure fear

"We can h-h-h-help you."

You then saw Freddy appear right behind Foxy with the Golden Freddy suit right beside him wide open.

"Don't worry. It'll all be ov-ov-ov-ov-over soon. Just accept your faith." Freddy said in the demonic voice

You just accepted your faith as they slammed you into the suit and then everything went black as the suit closed down. You awoke with a jolt as you found yourself very much alive, you were glad that you were alive, but how? How were you alive? You then noticed that you were still in your car, and you saw that everything was normal, no dents, no nothing. The only change was your cloths with still had the dark blue jeans, white socks and converse black sneakers, but instead of Flash Sentry's shirt it was now just a plain red t-shirt with no pockets, and the leather jacket with red and white stripes you had on was gone as well and replaced with a grey button up shirt with two pockets on the front.

"That's strange." You said

However, your jaw dropped as soon as you looked to your right. Right outside it looked like Ponyville. Quickly unbuckling you reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a pare of binoculars and what you saw through it made your heart soar. It was ponies, not just any ponies, but pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies, you even saw the mane 6 hanging out over at town hall. You didn't know what to say, what to feel, it was just amazing to you. But then you looked to your left and saw you were close to the Everfree Forest, but not close enough to get an animal to notice you.

Then a thought occurred to you.

"I need to get back home." You say to yourself, "I don't belong here in this world. While it is amazing to just even be here, I don't belong here. Damn you Doctor who for making me think this way."

You then shoved aside the to do list in your mind after you wrote down, "Revive the Master so that he can kill the Doctor" and saw another sight that confussed you more than anything. It was Flim And Flam, Gilda, and Trixie. They looked like they were heading into the Everfree Forest and then you got curious.

"Why the hell are they together and going into the most dangerous place in Equestria?" You said to yourself

For some odd reason you decided to follow them as you started up the car and buckled back in and did every other precaution.

"This might be suicide but I gotta make sure." You said as your car moved slowly forward, "If they're planning something I'm reporting it."

You carefully but surely followed behind the four as they made their way down the path, the sound of your car not even once getting to their ears as they made it to the castle of the two sisters. They crossed the bridge and so did your car, somehow, and as they went inside you parked your car a little far from the entrance and got out.

"Flash Sentry you stay right here until I get back." You said to the car

You crouched walked a little until you reached the entrance which was wide open. You peeked a little inside and saw not only Flim And Flam, Gilda, and Trixie, but Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Nightmare Moon, the Maneiac, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Sonata Dusk, and a few others minus Tirek which you silently sighed in relief for. Seeing them go through a passageway you quickly went back to your car and pulled out your electric guitar. It was a Gibson Firebird Non-Reverse Red with a long vibrato bar on it and a black strap that had a long white lightning bolt on it. Putting it around your back you quickly went back to where you were and saw them start to descend into the corridor.

"No! I can't let them get away!" You say

You crouch walk out from the entrance to the corridor where you slowly crept up behind them where it lead you to the original throne room. Going behind a pillar you listened in on a conversation going on between Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon.

"This is a very nice way for villains to meet up and discuss the next coarse of action." Chrysalis said, "What was this meet up called again though?"

"The first official League of Extraordinarily Cute Evil Villains council meeting." Nightmare said, "That is probably the most stupid name I've ever heard of but it works somehow."

"I'm wondering how that works too." You said to yourself silently

"You're sure no pony will find out right?" Nightmare asked

"Of coarse. My guards should be all over the place by now, no one can get in, no one can get out." Chrysalis said

"Uh oh." You said a little squeaky and loud

"Huh? Who said that?" Nightmare said

"Oops." You say realizing your mistake

"Guard look behind that pillar, that's where the noise came from." Chrysalis said to presumably a guard of hers

"Fuck." You squeaked as you got your guitar in attack position

Hearing the footsteps you raised the electric guitar and as soon as the changeling head appeared you smashed it against it knocking it out cold.

"Ha! Too easy!" You said a little too loud and quickly covered your mouth with your one free hand, "Oops."

"INTRUDER!" Nightmare shouted, "BEHIND THE PILLAR!"

"SCREW YOU TOO!" You shout running out of position into the open and for the corridor

"SEIZE HIM!" Sombra shouted

You looked in front of you to see two changelings blocking the way.

"Got him!" Trixie shouted

Quickly thinking you pulled out your phone and speaker and turned the volume all the way up to max.

"What is he doing?!" Lightning Dust shouted

You charged at the blockade with the sound of death sounding as you jumped forward at them.

Youtube Video

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" the two guards screamed like girls as you hurled past them and rolled on the floor

"SUCKERS!" You shout as you stopped amazed that that trick even worked

You quickly got up and ran again only to slam into a wall.

"OW!" You shout looking at the black crystal wall, "Crap."

You turned around and your face went pale as you saw a hallway filled with MLP villains.

"Um, I can explain?" You said

"Okay, first of all, who are you, what are you, and how did you find us." Lightning Dust said getting a little too close for comfort

"My name is [REDACTED], I'm from the city of [REDACTED] in the state of [REDACTED] in the nation of the United States of America on the planet Earth. I found you guys because Flim And Flam, Gilda, and Trixie were a little too out in the open. And I just wanna go home." You say

"DANG IT TRIXIE!" Gilda shouted, "I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD'VE GONE INCOGNITO!"

"HOW WAS TRIXIE SUPPOST TO KNOW THAT HE WOULD SEE US!" Trixie shouted

"SILENCE!" Sombra and Nightmare shouted

"Please just let me go, I just wanna go home." You said, "Wait. Can I even go home?"

"What does thou mean?" Nightmare asked

"Last thing I remember was some drunk driver slamming into my car and knocking me out." You say

Then realization hits you.

"Oh fuck." You say, "I can't go home. They think I'm dead."

"Then you have no reason to go back." Lightning Dust said

"At least it's a better death than getting stuffed into a Freddy Fazbear suit." You said quietly

"What do we do with it then?" Trixie said

"Him." You said, "I'm a guy."

"Alright, what do we do with HIM." Trixie said, "We can't just let him go, he'll most likely get Princess Celestia on us."

You panicked a little realizing Trixie found out your plan. You had to think fast, so you thought of an excuse so they would let you go.

"No I wouldn't!" You lie, "I don't even know who Princess Celestia is or where she would even be."

"Then answer this question, who is her most prized student, anyone who knows Celestia knows that one." Flim said

"Well said oh brother of mine." Flam said

"Oh that's simple Twilight Sparkle." You say but then your face turns pale, "I fell right into that one didn't I?"

"Yes you did." Trixie growled

"Crap." You say weakly as Nightmare Moon grabs you with her magic

"So trying to play hero eh?" she says mockingly

"No! Not at all!" You shout, "Please just let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone!"

"Hmmm."They all said "No."

"Figures." You say a little scared, "What are you gonna do with me then? Please don't kill me! I've already died once and I don't wanna die again!"

"We have something better planned." Trixie said with a smug smile

"What?" You asked

All of a sudden Maneiac grabs you and in the air sprays something at you which makes you shut your eyes and cough.

"Sweet dreams." Maniac said as she put you down

You feel dizzy as you start to stumble and land on the floor.

"No." You groan, "Sleep...spray..."

And then everything goes dark.