McDonald's Hits Equestria

by Rayvinne

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 1202

Fat

An epidemic of a new sort has his Equestria! It's not a disease or a spell gone wrong, it's something even more horrendous, fast food! How will the residents of Ponyville, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders, take on this challenge of greasy dandelion burgers, hay fries, and cheap toys?!

--Warning: Do not read if hungry--

Published 2012-04-28 20:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-28 20:34:01 UTC

I'm Lovin' It

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I do not own the McDonalds Franchise, and this story is for entertainment purposes only, I'm not making an attempt to insult McDonald's, or the weight or size of people, it's just an interesting thing to write, and I apologize in advance if anypony is offended. (Considering I ate there a couple days ago, I can't exactly be one to talk)McDonald's Hits Equestria

Scootaloo poked the dandelion burger and watched it jiggle.  Sighing, she looked around the newest hit restaurant in Ponyville, McDonalds.

"How are we supposed to eat this, there's no way it can be healthy!"  Grumbled the little orange and purple Pegasus, pushing away her tray.

"I agree, this is just gross, I mean, the little toys that look like Celestia are cool, but the food is nasty, I don't know how anypony could eat this!"  Said Sweetie Belle, who had tried to pick up her bubbly drink, watching in dismay as it burst into flame. Getting a sympathetic smile from the third member of their trio, Applebloom, she grumbled and poked the ashes.

"Applejack told me ah can't eat any of this stuff, she said it's just plum bad for ya!"  The young yellow farm pony frowned when she looked back down to her cold, soggy hay fries.  At the sound of somepony smacking on the remnants of some McTulip Nuggets, the Cutie Mark Crusaders turned their heads to a happy Diamond Tiara and her more-of-a-follower friend, Silver Spoon, who were enjoying taunting another filly with their new toys.

"We can't let Diamond Tiara mess with ponies like that, guys, we gotta stop 'er!" Exclaimed an irritated Applebloom

"But remember last time we tried to stop her bullying, and she chased us across town and tried to make us eat dirt?" Said a worried Scootaloo.

"Don't worry 'bout that Scoots, I have myself an idea, so lets go save some pony!" Answered Applebloom, getting a nod from the other two, they all broke out in their trademark chant.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BULLY BUSTERS, YAY!" They all shouted, giving eachother a three-wayed high hoof, before galloping to the rescue.

"Hey, stop picking on him" The trio commanded, all glaring at Diamond Tiara.

"Make me, blank flanks!" She retorted, blowing a raspberry.  Was it just them, or did Silver Spoon look a little green?  Seemingly not noticing her queasy friend, Diamond Tiara menacingly took a step towards the three, their confidence instantly leaving them.  "If I can't pick on him, I'll pick on you instead!" The pink filly threatened.  In response, she got three blank flanked fillies leaving her in a small cloud of dust.  She would have followed them and done some cruel thing to embarrass them, but she felt tired and greasy.  Instead, she got another order of McTulip Nuggets and starting smacking away, smiling at her fortune of greasy foods.

"Ah told yew we'd be fine!" Applebloom beamed as the three walked towards her sister's Apple cart, to get something healthy.

"Howdy girls, ah sure hope yer hungry!" Applejack beamed, looking down at the small fillies.  "It's nice to see somepony who doesn't want to eat that fast food junk!"  The farm pony added, getting a nod from the CMC.

"Rarity told me it makes ponies chubby!" Said Sweetie Belle.

"And I gotta stay in shape like Rainbow Dash, you shoulda seen Diamond Tiara, she could hardly walk!" Exclaimed Scootaloo.

"And, well, you told me ah shouldn't eat that junk, and ah didn't!" Added Applebloom.

"Well ah'm certainly proud of you girls,  now if only everypony else would figure out the same darn thing, I'd be able to sell more Apples!" Grumbled Applejack as the trio trotted off, heading towards their treehouse.

"This sucks!" said Applebloom.  "Everypony is going to eat that fast food, and if mah sister is affected, then the all the restaurants must be hurtin' too!  She got a nod of agreement from the others, and they planned out next week's adventures before all heading off for the night.

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A few days later, the Cutie Mark Crusaders got a shock as they walked into the classroom after an extra long weekend of Crusading.  Everypony in the small schoolhouse looked as if they'd been eating McDonald's breakfast, lunch, and dinner all weekend!  Aside from the trio of friends, only Dinky Hooves looked like she'd stayed healthy, even their teacher, Miss Cherilee, looked like she had been packing on the pounds, and it seemed Diamond Tiara had taken the worst of it.  She had gone from obnoxious skinny little filly to a fluffy ball, and her chair groaned under her new size.

"Well class, today we're going to learn about..." Their plump teacher started, her melodic voice droned on about some random subject, boring most of the students to sleep.  It wasn't until recess that something interesting happened.  While Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Dinky all sprinted out the door, the rest of the class slowly walked out, all except Diamond Tiara, who waddled outside to pick on some poor pony.  But luck wasn't on her side that day, as Snips and Snails hid in the bushes, ready to jump out and scare somepony.  Their victim?  Diamond Tiara.  They jumped out and yelled 'Boo!"  Now, normally, when a pony was scared really bad they would jump up into the air, right?  Well, not Diamond Tiara.  Her legs did the motions and she was indeed scared, and without her legs to support her, she started to roll.  Yes, roll, down a hill, like an obnoxious, irritated, fluffy pink ball shouting mean words until she came to a stop with an 'Oof' at the base of a tree.  After taking the rest of their recess to roll Diamond Tiara up the hill, the class managed to get by the rest of the day without an issue.

---   ---

Their seemingly chubbier teacher nervously shuffled her papers at her desk as students filed into the classroom.  "Okay class, it has come to the attention of the hospital that the Ponyville population is rapidly gaining weight, and we all know that too much weight isn't healthy, and it's the little colts and fillies who have been most effected by this epidemic, and the school board told me to find a gym teacher, to get this under control as fast as possible." She told them, and, as if on cue, Diamond Tiara's chair broke, and she left a small round indention on the wooden floors, where she stayed.

"Iron Will teach tubby ponies to be healthy!" Shouted a commanding voice.  Everypony turned to the doorway, where the massive minotaur stood.  "You little ponies are too big, Iron Will will make you small again!" He added, before pointing to the four fillies that remained healthy.  "You four, Iron Will has a special job, Iron Will wants you to go get fast food restaurant closed, because you four were smart to not eat their food!"

The four little fillies all whooped in joy as they dashed out the door, heading off to 'Crusade' around the cheap establishment.   Iron Will turned to Diamond Tiara, who sat lazily in her indention on the floor.

"Iron Will will start with you, tubby pony..." He said with an evil grin, much to Diamond Tiara's dismay.

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