The unsuspecting book was suddenly encased by sparkling, fuchsia-colored magic, as Twilight brought it down from the hewn out bookshelf in her library. She put in front of her on the stand. Warm sunlight streamed in through the glass windows, adding a shining glare to the freshly dusted objects. Spike hummed a little tune as he strolled over to where twilight was standing. She flipped the book "Magic, Mystery and Mythology" to page 28.
“Spike,” Twilight began, ”be sure to take extreme notes. The Association of Deep Mystic Mythology said they wanted precise information.”
Spike nodded his scaly head and readied his quill.
“Very good,” she said. Clearing her throat, she began.“ Long before the Golden rule of the now current princesses of Equestria-Princess Celestia and Princess Luna-The pegasi lived in a very different lifestyle. Back then, their government consisted of three major sections. One was the Arial senate, The second was the-”
“ HELLOOO TWILIGHT!” a loud voice screamed from behind.
Twilight spun around with wide eyes. As usual, Pinkie pie was hopping up and down in child like glee. Perhaps, if it were possible, Pinkie might have looked a tad bit more excited than usual.
“Hello Pinkie, how are you today?” Twilight asked politely.
“Oh Twilight, I have great news! Probably the best news EVER! Though, when I was a little twinky Pinkie, I got to live with the cakes and they became a second set of parents to me. That was really good news. Still, I believe today’s news even tops that!” Pinkie said with great enthusiasm.
Twilight simply chuckled at Pinkie pie’s inordinate behaviour before replying, “ Well, what is it?”
“Maud is getting MARRIED!”
“WHAT!” Twilight asked flabbergasted, “ Maud? Your sister? The one that was always so quiet? She is the one getting married?”
Dismissing Twilight's frenzy expression, Pinkie said,” Of course, I don’t have another sister named Maud, now do I?”
Twilight still could not believe her ears. “ Pinkie, who in Equestria would marry Maud?”
“Tom,” Pinkie said satisfactorily.
“Tom?”
Pinkie repeated it again, “Yep, Tom.”
A few seconds passed before it dawned on Twilight.
“ She’s marrying a ROCK!” Twilight exclaimed.
Pinkie nodded.
“Yes Twilight, I already said that.”
“You know Twilight, you don’t look so good.”
The dragon and mare gasped worriedly as the purple alicorn collapsed to the floor in a faint.
****
About twenty seconds later….
“Huh? Wha- what happened?” Twilight asked groggily.
“ I told you about Maud getting married, then you blew up and I said its true. Then you asked who is she marrying and I told you it was Tom. Then you blew up again and repeated what I said. After I confirmed it for a third time and you fell over like you were dead. I was so worried, but Spike told me you had just fainted. I asked if it was like Rarity when she faints and he said no, It was different. I watched you while he got a bucket of water and splashed it all over your face. You woke up and asked me what happened and I did, am, and if needed, will explain it to you again. Do you need to hear the past five minutes told over again?” Pinkie asked rather quickly and innocently.
Letting the long speech Pinkie delivered sink in, Twilight said, “ No...no Pinks.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie smiled.
Twilight stood up and regained her composure. Straightening her mane, Twilight calmly said, “ Pinkie Pie. Please explain to me how, what, when, where, and why Maud is marrying "Tom". She’s a pony. He’s-I mean, its a rock. You cannot marry a rock.”
“Sure you can, Maud is!” Pinkie stated.
“ But why is Maud marring..the rock,” asked Twilight.
“Well, I could tell you, but I will let the bride explain. Maud! you can come in now!” Pinkie yelled towards the door.
A few minutes passed before they could hear the soft, slow sounds of hooves approaching the door. The grey mare walked inside. Her deep, lavender mane was covering her eyes. She wore the same bland dress she wore last time she came. The only thing different was the gold ring band on her hoof.
“ Hello Maud,” Twilight waved.
She blinked before saying in her monotone tone, “Hello.”
“So, Pinkie here tells me you’re getting...married. Is that right?”
“Yes,” she blinked.
Twilight asked again, “To Tom? Could you explain why your are getting married to..a rock?”
She blinked as her expression stayed the same.
“ We fell in love,” she finally said.
It was Twilight’s turn to blink. She asked hesitantly, “ How did you fall in love?”
“Well…” Maud began.
***
“But Rarity!” started Sweetie Belle.
“No,” Rarity said firmly, “ you may not use..this rock..as a sled for cliff sledding! Really, the very idea that you three would even think of sliding down a cliff gives me the chills.”
Sweetie knew it useless to argue when her sister got the unmovable expression and trotted off to find a new activity to crusade for their marks. Rarity huffed and turned to the rock in disgust. It brought back memories, most of which she wanted to forget. Using her magic, she levitated the rock out her back door and let it roll down the hill.
There it slowed to a stop and sat there lifeless. A few minutes passed before the grey mare of our story passed by it. She was on her way to see Pinkie about something she forgot half way there and decided this would just be a visit. In her slow walk she barely lifted her head and simply looked at the ground. She passed Tom about half way when she stopped and sniffed the air.
Turning her head, she saw Tom. She stood there...and stood..and stood. All the while she kept staring at the large, grey rock. Neither moved for the next few minutes. Eventually, it was of course Maud who walked over.
She sniffed him and in her deep tone said, “ You are not like any rock I have ever seen.”
Tom never said a thing.
“ I’m not like any other pony.”
“. . .”
“You are special.”
“. . .”
“I’m special.”
“. . .”
“I like rocks.”
“. . .”
“I love rocks.”
“. . .”
“Do you love me?”
A strong current moved the rock more to the left, but to Maud it was yes.
“ Will you marry me.”
The current became stronger and Tom moved once again.
Maud gave one of those rare, small smiles she gets when she is really happy. Carrying tom on her back, Maud set off to tell Pinkie that she was engaged.
***
Twilight looked even more confused after Maud gave her summary of what happened.
“ But..that was a wind that moved Tom. He doesn’t even move!” stated Twilight.
“I know, but I felt it in my heart. It was love,” Maud said calmly.
“But...he’s a rock!” Twilight tried again.
“ Discord is a Draconequus and yet he is dating Fluttershy,” said Maud.
Twilight asked dumbfounded, “ How do you know about that?”
“Pinkie is very detailed in her letters.”
A squee could be heard coming from the pink mare.
Before Twilight could continue her objections, Maud said, “ Twilight, I know you are objected to this marriage, but rest assure I know what I’m doing. I never can seem to get another stallion to like me. I come off as quiet or boring. But really, I am misunderstood. You and your friends have seen how protective and caring I am of my loved ones. No one I tried to date could see through to that. Tom is different. He is a kind, quiet type rock. He understands me. We are kindred souls and now, now I want him to be my soul mate.”
Twilight stood there a moment thinking, before asking, “ If my word nor opinion is going to change anything, then why are we having this conversation?”
“ Oh! Well, the Justice of the Peace is sick today and the only other authority that could marry Tom and Maud would be a princess. Princess Celestia and Luna seem really busy today, so your are last choice!” piped up Pinkie.
“I don’t know…” Twilight began.
Pinkie suddenly made a puppy face and Maud actually looked disappointed.
Twilight sighed,” Let me think a moment.”
The two earth ponies waited as Twilight became deep in thought.
One minute….
Two minutes…..
Three minutes……
“ Um...Twilight?” asked Pinkie.
Twilight broke out of her trance with a heavy sigh.
“Well, as much as I don’t agree with the idea…..I will do it. For both of your sakes,” she said.
She was rewarded with a huge Pinkie Pie hug.
“Thank you soooo much!” screamed Pinkie.
“Yes, thank you Twilight,” Maud said, her tone changing slightly.
“You're welcome,” said Twilight as she removed the pink mare from herself. “Now if you want to get this done by today you better get started. Pinkie Pie, do you have your party cannon?”
“As always!”
“Good,” said Twilight, “Maud, you go get the groom.”
“. . . Sure.”
“And Spike, you better put that scroll away and go get the rest of the gang.”
“Yes, ma'am,” Spike said and skipped away.
“Now lets get this over with!”
* * *
The library had become a different place in the few next hours. Everything was decked with rocks. Rock decor, soft rock music, rock candy for food and rock flavored punch. Twilight stood in front of the fireplace with a stand in front of her. The bride and groom awaited the ceremony to begin as they stood in front of the stand. Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash stood on Maud's side, while Fluttershy and AJ were Tom’s best ponies.
The mares wore the same dresses that they wore at Cadance's wedding and Maud wore a simple white dress with a rock candy necklace. Tom had a black bow tie glued to him that made the bride smile a small smile as she faced him.
“ We are gathered here today to join these two in blessed harmony,” Twilight said in a rather dull tone. "Okay….blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah….oh yes! Here, um..now present the ring.”
Maud took the ring from Pinkie and laid it on top of Tom. Twilight then levitated a ring from Tom’s side and set it in place if the engagement band.
“ Okay, lets see...blah, blah, blah...um. Now you may...kiss...the bride.” Twilight said as she wrinkled her muzzle in disgust.
Maud leaned towards Tom, lips puckered up, and gave a sweet kiss. All cringed a bit except for Pinkie, who applauded and hollered. They eventually cheered too, just less enthusiastically.
Maud broke her kiss and said,” Thank you everypony. Tom and I will be leaving now.”
“ But Maud? What about your reception?” asked Pinkie perplexed.
Maud replied, “ I’m sure you will enjoy it more than I will.”
“Oh! okay, whatever you say. Here is your goodbye-have-a-happy-marriage-with-Tom-I’m-so-happy-for-you-don’t-forget-me-I-love-you rock candy necklace for you and Tom!” Pinkie said as she handed over a very small necklace for Maud and a larger one for Tom.
Giving Pinkie a kiss on the cheek, Maud nudged Tom out the door. The mane six followed the two out into the street. They stood there with blank expressions as the newlyweds rolled off into the sunset.
“ BEST WEDDING EVER!!!”
