Trixie

“Draw two, fat-ass.”

“Draw four, rat.”

“Fuck, I was hoping you didn’t have a draw card.” With a sigh, Rusty picked up four cards from the deck and passed his turn.

“Uno,” I said with a smirk as I dropped my second to last card. There’s nothing like whipping ass in a card game to celebrate a newly written routine.

We then heard a yawn coming from the hallway, and Adrian soon walked in, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning,” the jackalope said to him.

“Morning, Rusty,” he replied, walking towards the kitchen.

I focused my attention back on Rusty, who was nervously looking at his hand, wondering what to do next before he finally made his move. “Okay… uh… Skip!” he said, dropping a red “Skip” card, making it his turn again. “And… another skip!” He dropped a yellow skip card, giving himself a third turn. “And now… Aha!” The jackalope dropped a wild card and began to think about which color he’d make it.

“Better choose carefully, Rusty,” I thought with a devilish smile. “If you end up choosing the color that I have, I can play my last card.”

“Um…”

“Red, blue, green, or yellow? What’s it’s going to be?” I asked.

“Shut up, Trixie! Lemme think!” he snapped, scratching his head as he thought it over. Suddenly, he looked up at me for a few seconds before looking back down, and his worried expression slowly turned into a sly grin. “Blue.”

My eyes widened as I looked down at the green card in my hand. “Shit,” I muttered as I drew a card from the deck.

Rusty sighed, dropping three blue fours. “Aaand Uno.”

I slouched back in my chair as I drew another card, still not getting one that I could play. “Lucky little-” I held that thought when I saw that an unusual shadow was being cast over me. I turned around, looking up to see Adrian looking down at me. “You little cheaters!” I yelled.

He gave me a look of faux innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“This is not what I want to wake up to…” Chrysalis groaned as she walked in, her pace matching that of a zombie.

“You came home last night?” Adrian asked. “I thought that you’d be at some random guy’s house.”

“Yeah, you would think that, but I had no luck. Looks like that little pep talk you gave me ended up being worthless.”

“Pep talk? That wasn’t a pep talk.”

“Hmph, and to think that I considered thanking you, but now I think I’m gonna take it back.”

“Oh, no! Chrysalis isn’t gonna thank me! My life has no meaning anymore!” Adrian cried, dropping to his knees and wiping away fake tears.

The changeling narrowed her eyes and used her magic to throw a couch pillow at the human, only for it to miss.

“How could you not hit a target with a head that large?” I asked.

“Shut up, Trixie!” they both snapped.

I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to the game, tuning out Adrian and Chrysalis’s bickering. “I can still beat you, even if you did cheat.” I told Rusty.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, fanning himself with his one card.

I looked at my hand; I had three cards left, and thankfully I had two cards of the same number. I played them both, calling “Uno” and hoping that the last card in Rusty’s hand wasn’t playable. A look of horror spread across his face, the realization that he couldn’t play his card hitting him hard enough to cause a concussion. With a defeated sigh, he reached for his deck to draw another-

“Ha! Psyche! Gotcha, bitch!” he yelled, playing his final card and dancing around the table. “I win!”

“You wouldn’t have if you hadn’t cheated,” I reminded him, only for the little rat to scoff at me.

“All’s fair in Uno and war,” he grinned, puffing his chest.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

“Who the hell could that be this early in the morning? On a weekday, no less?” Adrian asked as he walked up to the front door and looked through the peephole. He then jerked back suddenly and signaled for Rusty to leave the room and hide, which only meant one thing.“Mr. Saddleton?” Chrysalis and I asked, hoping that we were wrong. Unfortunately, with a nod of the head from Adrian, our fears were confirmed.

Adrian cleared his throat and opened the door to greet our elderly landlord. “Morning, Mr. Saddleton. What brings you here?”

“Cut the crap, Lewit. I heard a fourth voice,” the old stallion said with an accusatory tone.

“You were listening in on us?” I asked, feeling somewhat violated.

“No, I just happened to be around.”

The three of us looked at each other with expressions that all read one thing: “Is this guy serious?”

“Regardless, there’s no policy against having guests over, even when it’s overnight,” Chrysalis defended.

“Of course you would know that,” I mumbled.

“True, but there is a policy against pets!” said Mr. Saddleton.

“So, let me get this straight… You’re saying that you have reason to believe that I somehow have a talking pet of some kind?” Adrian asked.

“That is exactly what I’m saying.”

“Have you gone senile?”

The stallion folded his arms and smiled. “Okay, then. If this fourth guest isn’t a pet, then how about I meet him?”

The three of us froze for a second, wondering what to do. “Uh, suuuuuuure,” said Chrysalis. “I’ll go get him.”

“You think I’m stupid? You’ll just come out in one of your disguises! I want this guest of yours to come out now!”

Just then, we all heard a voice that we weren’t expecting to hear. “Sorry, man! I’m in the shitter!” Rusty called from the hallway. “Kinda overloaded on breakfast and it went right through me!”

The next sound we heard could only be described as “horrifyingly disgusting”.

“Uh… well, then… carry on, I suppose,” Mr. Saddleton said, promptly excusing himself from our front door. A collective sigh of relief escaped all three of us as we closed the door.

“Good thinking, Rusty,” Adrian said as his pet hopped out from the hallway with a weird device in his paw.

“Thanks. I’m just glad we finally put this sound effects machine to good use,” he smiled, blowing on it like a freshly fired revolver.

“Oh, thank Celestia those sounds were fake,” I sighed. “The last thing we needed was you stinking up the house.”

“Says the mare that stuffs anything edible down her throat. Your digestive system is probably cooking up an A-bomb as we speak.”

Chrysalis shook her head at the comment and looked at Adrian. “I’m surprised that you were able to lie to Mr. Saddleton that well. You sounded rather convincing.”

“Is that a compliment?” he asked.

“An observation,” she corrected.

I rolled my eyes, walking back to my bedroom to get ready for my rehearsal today. As I was picking out my clothes, my phone began to ring, and I levitated it over to my ear while I continued to look for something to wear. “Hello?”

“Heya, Trixie!”

“Oh, hello, Babs. How are you?”

“I’m doin’ great! I was just wonderin’ if ya made any progress with that new routine o’ yours.”

“As a matter of fact, I finished writing it last night and I’m getting ready to head to the theater to do a run-through of it.”

“Really? Awesome! I’ll ask Sunflower if we can meet ya there! I can’t wait t’ see whatcha got!”

“And I can’t wait to show you,” I chuckled. “See you later, Babs.”

“Later, Trixie!” she replied before hanging up. I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I put down the phone. That little filly always managed to make me smile, even on the worst days. It was almost embarrassing how much she admired my shows, in a good way, of course.

I wondered if there was a way I could show my appreciation…

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

Adrian

“My hands hurt, my eyes hurt, my everything hurts,” Cel whined, hunching over a keyboard and typing away.

“Quit complaining, Cel Shade! It’s no picnic over here, either!” Roxy barked as she and I worked. After making so much progress yesterday, the three of us drafted scripts at home and worked them into one final script this morning. Cel was currently busy typing it out while Roxy and I took care of the storyboarding; I handled the characters, and she handled the backgrounds.

“Okay, here’s the last scene, Roxy,” I said as I slid a sheet over to her. “Once you work in the backgrounds, we’ll be done with the storyboards.” I then looked over my shoulder. “How’s that script coming along, Cel?”

“I’m… almost… done!” he exclaimed, sliding the keyboard to the side and resting his head on the desk. “Ugh… what time is it?”

I glanced at my watch, “Four-thirty.”

“So, now that we’re done with the storyboarding and scripting, we’ll need some voice actors,” Roxy explained. “I’ve got two brothers with some good vocal range, so they’ll be able to do most of the male characters, but I don’t know any girls that I’d consider for the female roles.”

“I think I know somepony that can do two of the voices at most, but we’ll need more than that,” said Cel.

Hm… more female voices? “I think I can take care of that,” I told them.

“So if that’s taken care of, can we go home now? I need rest…”

“Alright, you big baby. We can go home,” Roxy groaned. “See you guys tomorrow, kay?”

“Yeah, see ya,” I said as the three of us let the office. I was happy that I waited until now to use up that favor Trixie owed me. Now I can put it to good use.”

“I just hope that she’s a decent actress.”

Chrysalis

“GRGLGRGLGRGLGRGLGRGL!”

I spat the mouthwash out into the sink just as my tongue was about to burn, taking in short breaths to keep it cool. I was getting ready to go out again, but as time went on, I wondered if it was even worth it. With all the bad luck I’ve had, every attempt felt more and more like a lost cause, but what choice did I have?

I looked up at the mirror mounted over the sink and was almost disgusted at how horrid I looked. Permanent bags were beginning to grow under my eyes, and wrinkles had formed under my cheekbones. My mane was even more of a rat’s nest than it was before, having become an even paler green than it was yesterday thanks to the magic I used up last night trying to maintain my disguise.

Seeing how sickly my appearance had become was both depressing and infuriating.

“Fuck this,” I growled as I turned away from my reflection, giving up on my effort to try and find someone at the club, however, the problem still persisted: how was I going to get some love in my system before my condition got any worse?

I walked out of the bathroom and headed to the living room, hoping to drown my sorrows in some mindless television, only to find that Trixie was already watching it.

“Okay, I guess I’ll just marathon old seasons of ENTM, then,” I thought before I heard the front door opening and Adrian walking inside soon after.

“Good, you’re home, Trixie,” he said. “Where’s Rusty?”

“He said he was taking a nap,” she told him, “and why is my being home a good thing to you?”

“It’s a shocker, I know, but listen. I’m gonna need that favor you owe me.”

“Favor?” I mouthed to myself.

“I’m working on a pilot for a new series I’m developing with two of my co-workers and we need some voice actors,” Adrian continued.

“I dunno… Is this going to be a long-term commitment?” Trixie asked.

“Not at all. We just need to do some test recordings to see which character we want you to play, and once we’ve cast you and recorded all of your lines, we’ll get permanent voice talents for the actual series if it gets picked up.”

The unicorn shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I have much of a choice anyway. At least this’ll clear one of the favors I owe.”

“Perfect. We haven’t decided on dates and time for the recording sessions, and not every voice actor has to be there on the same day, so just let me know what days work for you.”

Trixie nodded. “Sure. Now that I think of it, this may be a chance to flex my acting talents.”

“I hope for the show’s sake that you actually have talents to flex,” Adrian commented.

“That’s it!” I thought. “The Favor Chart! I could use the favor Trixie owes me! If I play my cards right, I just might get Adrian, too.”

“Hey, guys,” I spoke up, getting their attention. “There’s something I need to ask.” I walked over to the one of the couches, taking a seat and preparing for what was to come. It was only then that I realized what I was really about to ask them.

“What am I thinking!? I’m about to ask my roommates to have sex with me! How could I ever think of something so stupid? These two are the last people or ponies I’d ever sleep with! Have I really gotten this desperate?”

“So, are you just gonna sit there, or…” Adrian asked, wondering when I was going to say something.

“Okay…” I said with a sigh, swallowing my pride for the sake of my health. “So, you guys know that I’ve been having some trouble getting any love sessions since this whole roommate deal started, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my appearance has been suffering because of it.”

“Yeah…” Trixie said warily.

“Well, it’s not just my looks that are getting worse,” I continued. “I don’t know how long I’ll last before it becomes even more life-threatening than it already is, and I doubt that I can get any medical help since there aren’t really any doctors that know much about changelings, so you can see how… unfortunate my situation is.”

I looked up and saw the way my roommates looked at me. It was as if they’d figured out where I was going with this and were just waiting for me to confirm it. Seeing their faces caused several chills to run up my spine, and I wondered again if I was making the right call here, but I’ve gone this far, and I couldn’t turn back.

“So… I know this is a lot to ask of you both, but my condition is only getting worse and this is the only option I have left, so I was wondering if you could do me this favor and… sleep with me tonight.”

I didn’t dare to look at them as my question hung in the silent air, and I half-expected them to outright reject me.

“You… can’t be serious…” Trixie said in awe.

“I know, it’s a huge thing to ask, Trixie, even if you do owe me a favor, but I really don’t know what else to do.” I looked up at Adrian, who seemed even more unsure and looked like he was leaning more towards a no. “Adrian, I know you don’t owe me anything, but if I have the both of you help me, the magic I’ll get will last a lot longer than it would if I just had one partner.”

He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know, Chrysalis…”

“If you do this for me, I’ll help out with your voice acting problem. Hell, I’ll do another favor for you. I just really need you to help me.” I glanced over to Trixie. “I need both of you to help me. I… I’m begging you.”

My roommates looked at each other with uncertainty, and my hands shivered as I waited for their answer, hoping that despite everything, they’d show some mercy.

“Trixie…” Adrian said. “Can you cast a soundproof spell so Rusty won’t hear us?”

What?

“I can manage that,” she answered.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You mean…”

“We’ll help you out this one time,” Adrian finished.

“One is all I’ll need,” I sighed. “Thank you guys so much!”

Trixie sighed. “Don’t mention it.”

“Ever,” Adrian stressed.

Despite how obvious it was that their decision to help me was a reluctant one, I still felt a huge weight lifted off my chest. I wasn’t sure if it was relief or gratitude, but whatever it was, it felt good.

Adrian, Trixie, and I agreed to have our session at eleven tonight, after Rusty had fallen asleep. It was ten fifty-five, and I sat on my bed nervously as I waited for Adrian and Trixie to come knocking.

I kept thinking back to when I first asked them to help me several hours ago, and I still found it hard to believe that I ended up that position again, a position where I found myself begging for mercy from someone that I never thought I’d be begging from. Those four words Adrian said to me were especially painful.

“I don’t know, Chrysalis.”

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to repress the memory of the last time those words were said to me, but it eventually came back, and I remembered every agonizing second.

“I don’t know, Chrysalis,” Celestia said. “While I do feel sorry for you, I’m not sure if allowing you to live here would be a wise decision, especially considering our history with you. It’s only been two years since the royal wedding, so letting you stay in Equestria is a rather risky decision, as it could cause a panic.”

“Please, Princess!” I pleaded, calling her by her title rather than her name for the first time. “I am weak and without an army! I assure you that I have no power! I don’t care what I have to do! I just need somewhere to live! I promise, I won’t harm any of your citizens, I swear!”

“And what of your feeding habits?” Luna inquired. “Changelings need love to survive, correct. How do we know that our subjects won’t suffer from you feeding on them?”

“The process is completely painless, I assure you. No one will suffer in any way,” I explained.

The night princess turned to her older sibling. “I’m not sure about this sister. Discord was one thing, and I’m still not even sure if we can call his reformation a success, but can we really trust her?”

While Celestia marinated on the thought, I remained on my knees in the throne room, tears dripping from my eyes as I hung my head down. All that remained on my person were the tattered rags of a once gorgeous dress that I happened to be wearing on the day of my exile, and the one item that I managed to keep when they ran me out.

It was the most pathetic, shameful position I’d ever been in.

Celestia must have been laughing on the inside. Why wouldn’t she be? Why wouldn’t she find amusement in seeing the mare that once threatened to take over her country bowing to her hooves and begging for mercy? She didn’t feel sorry for me in the slightest. Had I finally gone mad enough to think that Celestia would want to even consider giving me a chance?

“Here’s what I’ll do, Chrysalis,” she said, and my ears perked up, surprised that she even gave my plea a serious thought.

“I will make arrangements for you to live in Equestria, and I will provide you with the necessary funds to sustain you for a short time while you search for employment.” she explained. “However, let me make it perfectly clear that, for now, you are merely a provisional citizen. You will be under constant twenty-four hour watch by my top surveillance agents for one year, after which you will be granted full citizenship. If they sense even the slightest threat, or if you break even the slightest law, they will have full authority to apprehend you and you will be punished to the full extent of Equestrian law. Is that understood?”

I tried to answer, but at that point a wave of emotions overtook me, and the drips of tears became small streams. All I could do was stay there, bawling my eyes out. I was too distraught for words.

Suddenly, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of knocking on my door. I got up and clutched my bed robe nervously, hoping that I could get something out of them despite my appearance. I had just enough magic to make myself look less disgusting, but not enough to create a complete disguise.

When I opened the door, I saw Adrian and Trixie standing on the other side, averting their gazes from me. “Hey...” they said to me.

I shuffled uncomfortably as I stepped aside and let them in, shutting the door once they were inside and watching as Trixie cast the soundproof spell.

“Yeah… hey.”

Author's Note

Holy shit! They're really gonna do it! Looks like Adrian and Trixie were able to show some mercy. One can only wonder how this will affect their dynamic from here on out.

I feel like I should just squash this before I get questions about it: no, the next chapter will not detail the events of the "session". It'll begin the morning after. I haven't forgotten the fact that I started this story with the intention of not making it a clopfic (notice the lack of a Sex tag). I assure you, comedy is still the priority here.

As always, let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments, and I'll catch you guys later. Keep it sketchy, folks!