Chaos Rules, Dating Drools.

by ButtonMash

First published January 1st, 1970 00:00

Being in town for 3 rather boring months now, Button Mash thinks he finally has a chance with the filly of his dreams, Sweetie Belle! However, he's a bit short on advice, and the only thing programmed in his mother's mind is to laugh at the idea, and forbid it. His pain and suffering won't end there when Discord appears at his doorstep. With the help of Rumble and Pip, can he survive this rather lovely* experience? Probably not.

*extremely and excruciatingly painful

Chapters

Chaos Rules, Dating Drools, my Friend.

Chaos Rules, Dating Drools, my Friend.
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Chaos Rules, Dating Drools.

Chaos Rules, Dating Drools, my Friend.

-Button's 3rd-Person View-

Sweetie was calmly sitting in the park doing zen, like it did in the instruction manual. She decided to go sole for Operation: Cutie Mark Meditator! It involved quiet, and she knew her friends would be incapable while in this position. She, just had to get her posture right, and- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!" Says the yelling colt who broke his leg, Button Mash. Sweetie did a 'who-what-where-why' fit before seeing her friend's ankle, which was bending the wrong way, joined in the screaming, and they both passed out.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee- "He's awake, I'm going to turn it off for a while." Said the doctor, annoyed by the beeping of the heart monitor. Button Mash awoke to find a sharp pain in his leg. He noticed Sweetie Belle was there, along with his mother. And then his two friends. Rumble and Pipsqueak were laughing their heads off, visible through a window. He could tell it was about the latest scenario mainly because Rumble pointed at him all the while.

"Eaghhh.... Wh..... Really, Rumble?" Button said to himself, making an angry face, noticed by Rumble who lowered his uproarious laughter into a chuckle, and then walked into the room. "S-sorry.... I just, oh, I don't know, thought you knew how to speak to girls, and... Quite possibly NOT kill yourself in the process? I*chuckle*, didn't..." After that, Rumble broke into more non-understandable uproar. Sweetie slapped him. Another reason Button was captivated by her. From tip of horn to hooves, he thought she was perfect. That's why it seemed all the more that she was outta his league. Rumble continued to laugh on the floor a little when he saw the confused look on Sweetie's face.

"Button, why are you looking at me like that?"

-Button's 1st-Person View-

Yep, another flunked attempt. This was the normal story for me, accept usually it was during a crusading attempt. He was lucky he was the only one getting hurt, and something as minor as only a leg. That didn't stop Rumble from laughing for another hour. I made my way over to the park, the calmest place I could find. Rumble couldn't stand it there! Once I successfully ran into the Rumble-free zone, I relaxed by the chocolate milk fountain, making sure to take a bite of the cotton candy mist as it rolled in. Wait, what? OH NO....

-Discord's FunTimes-Person View-

Yep, this is the guy! Standing in joyous fear, because octagon, I decided to greet him. "Why hello chap! Name's Discord, Spelled with a capitol W!" I shouted out. I had to be colorful, or those 'sane' people wouldn't listen! This Button Mash guy... Ooh, he had some relationship issues! Love-Doctor Discord knows how to fix this! It involves math, and square circles. He drew one, much to the silly pony's amazement and mind getting blown, and them I showed him within that the complex formula to getting any girl. When I realized he was nearly unconscious, I figured he didn't have the mind nor the horn to cast the spell this formula held. No matter! Discord, the old school rapper of presents, the bane of laughing toilets, and chances are alot more stuff, maybe this child's psyche, for all I know, decided to just get him a date TRADITIONALLY. UGH. Well, he handed the guy a canoe, cooking book, wedding ring, rose, tux, candles... But who was he even interested in? Probably a magazine, so he scratched the last idea. Well then again, people might have self-decency in this age... A girl? by the name of Sweetie Belle. Oh, Rarity's sister! Deciding that this kid might be worth a shot, I gave him all of the previously mentioned stuff. I just need to find out what Sweetie belle likes. Once finding out, I also gave him a spare gem to give her, along with a premium microphone and recording set. That was about right. "Improvise and impress. But above all, know this. Chaos rules, dating drools. I'm going to find Pinkie Pie and throw a party now." And with my job done, I teleported away leaving the kid with broken forelegs and not a clue of what to do with a canoe, cook book, wedding ring, rose, tux candles, gems, microphone, and a quarter of what the hay is going on.

I can time travel. Surprised? I want to find how their date went ! I traveled 20 years later, thinking he was a spineless coward and she asked him out. No no no, this was their 5th anniversary! Traveling to 5 years, he proposed. No... Something was off. Was it really that he was able to muster up a tea spoon of courage, swallow it, and... Oh, who am I quadrupling? I decided to actually check. A month later, he finally got a clue, and asked her out. He had managed to... Use a cotton candy cloud storm to power a Playstation on the canoe, while having spaghetti, while having a great conversation! I was wrong about this kid. He IS lamp material! However, I then interrupted. As my favorite explosive chocolate milk lake erupted, destroying their date, and ending the ship . But then the writer decided to remove me from the fiction for having free- will. Ta- ta!

-Not Discord 3rd Person PoV-

Button and Sweetie, after getting out of the storm, saved the Playstation, and got safe again, decided to step it up. They hugged onto each other, Sweetie fearing for her life and Button thanking Discord silently for this chance. He decided now was a better time than any, and he kissed his now marefriend on the cheek. Getting over her astonishment, she recoiled, and blushed. Deciding she too would get something out of this, she tackled Button and gave him a kiss on the lips. Cuddling there for miniutes on end, The spectator watching them sighed. He thought: "Dating still sucks."