Sounds Good, Pony
A ZKPony fanfic
It was just another day at K-Colt, with DJ-P0N3 in the studio, and me in the sound booth. The recording equipment was on, and all the equalizers were set. I just had to sit back and wait for Scratch to finish. Sometimes it was boring, managing the studio, but I got to work with Scratch. That was never boring. I sat there at the MAC-IE sound board, with nothing to do. I had finished my book yesterday, and forgot to get a new one, so I was boooooored. Hey, stallions can read too. It’s not just for mares. Scratch was playing some new song, but it wasn’t really my style. Not enough bass and too much synth. Today was going to be a long day… At least it was Friday.
**()^b^()**
“I swear to Celestia, Vinyl…” I brought my hoof up to my face.
“What?! I thought we did a good show… “
“Vinyl, you set the desk on fire. How in Equestria did you set it on fire? See? This is why we need a co-host. You just get too wild on your own.”
Vinyl Scratch took off her tinted glasses and opened her eyes. Pale red demon eyes stared me down and stole my soul.
“Couz, look at me. Look me in the eye.” She stared straight ahead and stomped her hoof on the ground.
“Dammit, Couz! Just do it!”
“Fine, fine. Alright, I’m right in front of you, and I can see your- Ow!”
“You deserve that. A co-host?! You idiot, since when does DJ-P0N3 need help running a talk show?!”
“You hit me! What is wrong with you?! That’s no way to treat your best and oldest friend, now is it?” She put her glasses on and started to walk away. Her cane hit the floor as she made her way out.
“Well, when my foalhood friend decides to betray me, I don’t know what a better punishment there is.”
“Hey, wait for me!” I turned off the equipment and grabbed my coat. Scratch was already outside. It was raining slightly, but picking up.
“Ugh, looks like the pegasus ponies scheduled a shower today. Hey Couz, do you have an umbrella?”
“Vinyl, a weather pony dropped off the weekly weather report two days ago. If you had read it, you would have known about the rain today.” I totally did have an extra umbrella, but Scratch didn’t need to know that. Vinyl put on her most dramatic voice:
“Oh! If only I had read the report! Curse this affliction of mine! Because you have for-soothe me, sight, I am in such… ah… hot water!” She threw her hooves up into the air and started waving them.
“Yeah, yeah. So you’re blind. I KNOW. And its forsaken, not for-soothe. Here, I brought an extra umbrella.”
“Oh, and how am I supposed to carry it, Mr. Smarty pony? I already have my cane in my mouth.”
“Aren’t you a unicorn?” Scratch hit me in the shoulder.
“Just walk me home, Couz! Geez!” I held my umbrella over Vinyl and we started walking. Her cane splish-splashed in the wet streets as we walked to her house. It wasn’t far from the studio, and her home was on the way to mine. She hummed some song I’d never heard.
“Vinyl, can we talk?”
“About the co-host?”
“Yeah. I really want K-Colt to work out, but Scratch… It’s getting bad. Our sponsors are getting agitated. I’ve been told that if I don’t reign you in, we’re going to lose the show.” The rain picked up, and Scratch almost stepped in a huge puddle.
“But, Acoustic! This was our dream! They can’t take it away from us! Who else will bring the tunes to the airwaves! I have to do K-Colt! A co-host will only mess it up!” Vinyl shook me and I dropped the umbrella. Wonderful.
“You can’t let them take this away from me, Couz. You know I’m no good at business stuff. I make music, you deal with the biz’niss. That was our deal, remember? That’s what we’re good at!” I picked the umbrella back up and took off my coat. Wouldn’t do me any good now. Soaked through.
“I remember, Vinyl. That’s why we need a co-host. Don’t worry, you’ll just need to tone it down a little, but you can still play your music, and you can still do the talk show. We just need somepony else to… uh… go along for the ride?” We started walking again, but we were wet now. Vinyl’s blue mane was plastered to her white coat. Not that it mattered, we were almost to her house.
“Couz, I don’t want to share it! K-Colt is my little foal, what if the new co-host is a meanie?” Oh, brother…
“Vinyl, I promise, it won’t be a problem. Now go on in, I want to get home so I can dry off.”
“Arrrgh, fine. But you better not choose someone lame! Look, I’m sorry I got you wet. You wanna come in and dry off? I’m sure my mom won’t mind.”
“Thanks, but no thanks, Vinyl. I need to get back to my place and start on the co-host applicants.”
“Okay then. Pick someone awesome or else! Bye!”
Just like that, I was walking home. Wet. Ugh. My brown mane was soggy, and my green coat was drenched. Being one of the only friends of the famous DJ-P0N3 was not easy, and sometimes I wished I could get away from it, like Spitfire did. At least she had the Wonderbolts as an excuse. I passed the library, and could hear that purple unicorn talking, yelling really. Wasn’t she Princess Celestia’s student? Turning at the bakery, I could see my apartment, just next to Lyra and Bon-Bon’s. A sweet aroma wafted out of the bakery, making me remember just how hungry I was. Once inside, I made sure to get a towel right away. No sense getting the floors all wet. I ate a muffin from my pantry (banana nut, yum!), and picked up the stack of applications. All two of them. Wonderful.
“Well, might as well take a look. One is for a classical musician, Miss Octavia. Ugh. Nope.” I threw it in the garbage. What terrible luck.
“There’s no way Scratch would go for that, she needs somepony more… electric. Next applicant. Wait, what? ‘Accouztik’ Hmmm… ‘Earth pony, green coat, brown (?) mane, understands how music is supposed to be!’ Is this some kind of joke? Why would I fill out… Oh, come on…” I went to the garbage can and got out that other application. The one Scratch hadn’t forged.
“How did she think she could pass that off? She has terrible spelling.”
**()^b^()**
And so I was sitting in the sound booth with the brown coated musician. Her dark brown, almost black, hair was made up nicely, and her cutie mark was a pink music staff. Cute. Would be my type, if not for… well, classical.
“Hello Miss Octavia. My name is Accoustic, and I run K-Colt. “ I raised my hooves in a halfhearted attempt to break her composure.
“Hello, Mr. Accoustic. Please, just call me Octavia. No need to be so formal.” Didn’t work…
“Alright then. Just call me Accoustic. Before we start the interview, is there anything you’d like to ask?”
“Well, I hate to bring this up so early, but there was no mention of payment…”
“Oh, sorry about that. I must have forgotten to put it on the flyers. Well, if we can retain all of our current sponsors, weekly pay is two hundred bits. This is only including daily morning broadcasts. Oh, and weekend slots. Any extra things, like events, will of course be paid extra.”
“Ah, thank you. Yes, we can continue the interview then.”
“Thanks. Well, let’s get started with… Oh, who am I kidding. Let me cut to the chase. Octavia. You were the only applicant. You got the job!” I wish I had a camera to capture the look on her face. That definitely broke her composure.
“ Excuse me? What do you mean by that? Surely, I cannot have been the only-”
“Yes, you were. Do you want the job?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have applied if I didn’t want it, so yes. I would love to work here. Classical music needs a station to be heard and appreciated. I do, however, travel sometimes with the Ponyharmonic orchestra. Will that be a problem?”
“Nope. None at all. Alright then, congratulations! You start Monday, please be here at five in the morning. You will work until three, with paid lunches brought in for you, if you want them.” I grabbed my coat, and Octavia followed me out of the station. Right into trouble.
“Hey, Couz!” Oh, Celestia, it was Scratch…
“Hey, Vinyl... What are you doing here? You know today’s Saturday, right? No live broadcast.” Octavia lifted an eyebrow at Scratch. This was going to be sooooo much fun…
“Came to see who the new co-host is, duh. Have you decided yet?! Do they like rock and techno?!”
“Well, hello Miss Scratch. I am Octavia, and I was just-“
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who is this mare? She sounds all prissy. Like classical prissy!”
“Well, how ru- MMMPHHH!!” My hoof to the rescue.
“No Scratch, this is just… uhhh. My date! Yeah, we’re going out to lunch and just met at the studio. You’ll meet the new co-host on Monday, okay? Bye!” Octavia was surprisingly easy to drag away for Scratch. Very… light. I needed to get away from Scratch. Anywhere would be fine, but… There! Ducking behind a café, I took my hoof off of her mouth. I hadn’t handled that in a gentlecoltly manner, but… Vinyl Scratch. Classical musician. Bad idea.
“What is the meaning of this?! I did not agree to go on a date with you, and what is your problem?! Ponynapping me?! I should report you to the police!”
“No! Please, I just wanted to get away from Scratch. I promise.”
“Why not tell her the truth, then? Why go through all this hassle?”
“Octavia, do you know what kind of music Vinyl listens to?”
“She plays an awful lot of rock and techno…”
“And what kind of music did you say you play?”
“Well, classical, but I don’t see how…”
“I will give you one guess as to what kind of music DJ-P0N3 cannot stand.” Octavia put on a frowny face. The cutest frowny face I’d ever seen.
“Classical?”
“Good guess. Look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting Scratch to be there, and I panicked. You don’t have to go to lunch with me if you don’t want to.”
“Oh, well, at least you take responsibility for your mistakes. Very well, I was getting hungry anyway. Wherever you usually eat will be fine.” Aww, man. Now I was gonna have to pay for her lunch, too. Oh well.
**()^b^()**
After lunch (she didn’t eat very much), we parted ways and I stopped by Aloe and Lotus’s spa for my weekly treatment. When I walked in, Lotus was at the counter, and I could hear Aloe in the back gossiping with another customer. Sounded like that white unicorn mare… Rarity, I think? Lotus spoke in that wonderful accent of hers. Where the S’s sound like Z’s, and the vowels dragged out a bit longer. Ooh, enough to get a stallion hot and bothered.
“Oh! Accoustic, you’re back! How wonderful! Will it be the usual today?”
“Yes, mam. Same as usual. Though I think I’d like orange, this time.”
“Oh, of course! Orange will look so great with your coat. We just got in a new shade, electric orange! How does that sound?”
“Wonderful, Ms. Lotus. Will there be a long wait? I forgot a book…”
“Oh, no! For you? We will always have time. Come along, my niece Vera can mind the shop while. Vera! Come mind the counter, I’m with a customer!” A young voice called back.
“Sure, Aunty Lotus!” Lotus led me back into one of the rooms. It had soothing, subtle spa music on, and while it wasn’t my absolute favorite, it was very relaxing. I laid down on my usual table as Lotus got the dyes and oils.
“So, how has the radio been coming?”
“You could listen to it, you know. It’s doing well. We just solved a major problem, and I think we’ll be better for it.”
“Oh, that is so interesting! I would listen, but I cannot leave the spa during the day, and your music is so… energetic. Not good at all for calming ponies down. But I will start listening on my own time. So how have you been? You can tell Lotus anything!” She started rubbing my back and flanks with the oils, and it felt good.
‘Ahhhh, that feels good, Lotus. Life has been good lately. Got a co-host for the radio station to appease the sponsors, but it made Scratch sooo angry. I feel like I’ve hurt her, but I can’t talk to her about it… OH!” Lotus had moved up to my shoulders, and the little circles she made were divine.
“ Maybe you should talk to her. How will she ever know what you meant if you do not tell her?”
“Heh, good point.”
“You see? There is a reason people come to me!”
“Yeah, I do. Oh, that feels nice.” She flipped me over and started working on my chest and arms.
“I would hope so. So. Are there any mares you have your eye on?”
“Ah, no. Not at the moment. Caught up with work and trying to keep Vinyl from freaking out. I swear, I feel like her guardian sometimes.”
“Vinyl Scratch… She is your friend, yes?”
“My best friend. Knew her since forever ago.”
“Is that all she is? When you talk about her, you sound as if…”
“As if what? I always talk about Scratch when I come here…”
“Yes, it just seems that maybe you care more about Vinyl Scratch than ‘just friends’.”
“…”
“Mr. Accoustic? You haven’t fallen asleep, have you?”
“No. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Alright. There is no pressure to discuss things that make you uncomfortable. You are tensing up. Please, relax.”
“Thank you. I haven’t thought about mares in a while, to be honest. Just… didn’t seem necessary. Maybe that’s not the right word… Don’t get me wrong! I’m not into colts, just…”
“I understand. You are simply too busy, and mares are not that high on your list of goals, am I right?” She stopped my massage and picked up a bottle I’d never seen her use.
“Yes, I suppose so…”
“ Accoustic, we recently began stocking a new item. Would you like the… ‘special treatment’?”
“Will that cost me extra?” Lotus turned back to me and smiled.
“We can discuss payment after. It is not something I offer normal customers, but… for you, I will make an exception. Now just sit back and relax.”
**()^b^()**
I ended up paying extra for the ‘special treatment’, which was just a rose bud oil rub. But oh man, did I smell good! So worth the extra 40 bits. The walk back to my apartment was one of the best I’d ever had, to be honest. The sun was shining, and Fluttershy was getting the birds to sing. I saw Ruby Punch playing with Dinky Hooves, Lily reading on a bench, and Scratch talking to some colt. Wait…
Scratch was talking to a stallion. That I’d never seen before. Scratch was talking to someone new! I didn’t know if I should be happy for her for coming out of her shell, or sorry for that poor stallion if he didn’t like ElectroNeighca. He was gray coated, and had light blue, almost silver hair. His mane was done up in spikes, but he didn’t look like a raver. I couldn’t quite place him…
“~Accoustic~!” Oh Celestia. Not today. Please don’t be Berry Punch. Please don’t be-
“~Accoustic~! Pay attenshon when someponie’s talking to zhu.” It was Berry Punch. I turned around and gave her my best nice guy smile.
“You look lshike somepony stuck something up your-“
“Berry! How nice to see you again! How’s Pinchy doing?” I didn’t know how inebriated she was, and Pinchy seemed like a safe topic. She lowered her eyelids and smiled a drunk’s smile.
“She’d be much better with a stallion in her lifes. We’ve been sooo lonely, Cosy. Are you sure you canpth’d come for dinner?”
“Berry. I keep telling you, it was one date. Over half a year ago. You weren’t even into me. Please lay off of the sauce, if not for yourself. Then for Pinchy-“
“OH! You’re justht like Pinchy! ‘Mommy, no more alcahawl’ and ‘Mommy, that’s enoughfthsh”. I think I can tell when I’ve had enoughfthsh!” Well, she wasn’t completely wasted yet.
“Berry, I’m going to take you home. You are going to go to bed. I will not be staying. Do you understand?”
Her answer was a hiccup followed by a very harrowing faint, in which I did my best to catch her. I mostly succeeded.
**()^b^()**
The trip home to Berry’s was uneventful. She didn’t throw up (Yes!), no drunken ramblings (she knows everypony’s secrets somehow…), and she didn’t kick me (like that one time she tried to neuter me). It was a good Berry moment, all things considered. Ruby was already home when I got there, and after putting the inebriated earth pony in bed, I helped her make dinner. Yes, even though I said I wouldn’t stay. I couldn’t leave the little filly all alone to fend for herself, could I?
“So, Ruby… Uh, how was your day?”
“Nopony calls me Ruby. It’s mostly Pinchy.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Not your fault Mom won’t call me by my name. Now everypony really does think my name is Pinchy.”
“You know she cares about you though, right? She’s your mom, and she loves you.” This earned me a sad smile and a hoof on my leg.
“Yeah, I do. You know I’m not the only one she cares for, don’t you?”
“What? She’s gotten you into this too? I told her that it was-“
“Don’t. You haven’t heard her ramblings. She really does care for you. And she’s lonely.”
“Ruby… She rambles about everything when she’s drunk.” The filly stopped eating and looked at me with the most serious face.
“But you’re the only thing she rambles about when she’s sober.” That hit me right in the heart. Thanks a lot, Filly. We both stopped eating.
“I… didn’t know that. It’s just… Ha. Look at me, talking about such serious things with a filly. Foals your age shouldn’t have to worry about these things.”
“Please? I need to know. When I ask her to tell me a bedtime story, she talks about you. There are no other stallions for her. Nopony there for me. The wine shop is thriving and I’m doing well in school, but she still drinks herself all… Just, why?” I briefly considered telling her a lie, or saying only part of the truth, or just telling her that this was Big Pony’s business. Goddess Luna, I’m such a fool.
“Ruby… I like your mom. When she’s sober, which is becoming rarer, she’s an amazing mare. Smart, clever, kind, and fun. The date I went on with her was the best date I’ve ever had. But she isn’t always sober. I can’t… I won’t date a mare that drinks herself silly for no reason. I try to be here for you, to help you, and it seems like it isn’t sinking in with her. She just…” I stopped as I realized I was crying. Ruby seemed on the verge of it as well.
“What did you put in the food, Ruby?” A slightly mischievous grin.
“Tell-All. Got it from Zecora. Makes ponies more likely to be honest.”
“That was underhanded and unfair, filly.” A shrug. Then a whisper:
“But it was worth it, wasn’t it?”
**()^b^()**
I had to leave after that. Ruby could clean up the place by herself, for all I cared. Tricking me into saying I liked Berry... I went straight home and climbed into bed. The next day would be better.
Who was I kidding? The next day was going to be a disaster! The sun wasn’t even up, and here I was. Outside K-Colt. With Scratch. With Octavia. My hooves fumbling for my keys, trying to remain in control of my sanity as these mares conversed about musical theory. Conversed passionately. With the heat of thousands of light bulbs, Vinyl was yelling at her co-host how Dubstep and Electronic and Rap were pinnacles of modern music. The next step on auditory evolution. To which serene Octavia politely refuted and pushed her views of neo-classical Beethooven. Also yelling.
Sounds Good, Pony
A ZKPony fanfic
I sat in my sound booth and waited for lunch. It had to be close. I mean, I’d been here for hours, trying to drone out Vinyl and Octavia’s arguments. I should have gotten a new book while it was still on my mind yesterday, but no. I got too wrapped up in other things and now I was bored out of my skull. I checked the clock.
9:57
Ok. So maybe lunch wasn’t close, but it wasn’t far away, right? Only a little more than an hour-and-a-half of this nonsense, and then I’d be home free for a whole hour! On a whim, I put my headphones on.
‘-rypony knows that classical is lame! There is no style, no individuality, just BORING!
Well, if some ponies would take the time to actually listen to my music, they would see that each piece has a definitive beauty that separates it from other pieces. To anyone of a trained ear, Beethooven sounds radically different from Buck, to use more famous examples. Although, with the kind of music you listen to, I’m surprised you have any hearing at all left. One can hardly hear ones’ self think with all the racket techno and this ‘Dubstep’ make.
I can hear just fine, Ms. Prissy Pony! The best techno uses subdued patterns, and cautious rhythms. There’s no need to be all loud and in-your-face all the time! But there isn’t anything wrong with that either! And Dubstep is about the energy of music! Haven’t you ever just wanted to cut loose and dance! That’s what it’s all about!
And if this were the Pony Pokey, I would agree with you, Ms. Scratch, but it isn’t. Music is serious busine-‘
I took off my phones. Only day one and I couldn’t stand them. Maybe they’ll get it out of their systems and be best buddies later?
…
I placed my head in my hooves and begged whatever Goddess was listening to please save me from this nightmare. Suddenly, a pony popped into my head quite uninvited. She had a purplish-pink coat, and a purple mane styled to look like a grape bunch.
‘I was having a panic attack and now I’m thinking about Berry Punch…’
**()^b^()**
Eleven-Thirty didn’t come quick enough. I hurriedly set the disks to play autopilot, then dashed out of the building. They were on their own for lunch. As I wandered through town looking for a suitable place to eat, I happened to cross Berry’s shop. And then I heard them.
“COOOOOOOUUUUUUUUZZZZZ!!!”
“Mr. Accoustic!!”
Panicked, I did what any sane pony would do. I hid. Into the wine shop I delved, praying that my pursuers wouldn’t think to look in here.
“Hello! Welcome to- Accoustic? Is that you?” Berry. Of course.
“Shhh! One second.” I had my ear to the door and realized that I must look a sorry sight. She trotted over and ran her hoof through my mane.
“Orange this time, huh? So what are you running from? A couple of mares?”
Just as I looked back to her with horror plastered on my face, Vinyl and Octavia ran down the street.
“He must’ve went to get something to eat!”
“Check the café he took me to yesterday! A villain always returns to the scene of his crime!”
Berry’s face was amazing. Stranded somewhere between disbelief and ‘I-can’t-believe-I-was-right’, with a hint of annoyance thrown in. I grinned up at her, pleading.
“Into the back room. Now.” I mouthed ‘thank you’ before bolting into the storage room behind the counter. I could hear her opening the door, then shutting it. Then she came into the wine storage room.
“Mind explaining what that was all about?”
“Haha. Berry, you’ll never believe it. That was Vinyl Scratch, my coworker, and our new co-host, Octavia. It was just somewhat of a misunderstanding, see, as I’d forgotten to pick up their lunches, and left without telling them they were off the air. It’s a radio thing, you wouldn’t understand. Thanks for saving me, though. I’ll just be going now…” I started walking out when a hoof blocked my path.
“We have to talk.” The way she said it with that sorrow in her voice really made me dread this conversation. For Celestia’s sake, we aren’t even going out and we’re already having ‘talks’…
“A-a-about what, Berry?”
“Last night.” I gulped quite audibly.
“I know you took me home. I was drunk in the streets, and you brought me home and even fed Pinchy. I needed to thank you. And I... need to apologize. Pinchy told me what you talked about.”
Ohnnononono. I get drugged into revealing my feelings, and then that filly just spreads them around? Oh, she is so going to get it!
“Berry, I-”
“I’ve decided to quit drinking. Altogether. No alcohol at all.”
“That’s wonderful Berry, but you have to understand-”
“Pinchy told me that you.. you…” She started crying. Why do mares always have to cry?!
“Berry… I do like you, a lot. I want you to stop drinking but it has to be for you and Ruby, not for me.”
“Wh- what? Accoustic… You… like me?”
“Well, yeah, isn’t that what Ruby said?” Wait.. Oh no.
“Ruby didn’t say anything about that, did she?” Berry’s face lit up and she smiled the happiest smile I’d ever seen on her. She looked like a younger mare.
“No, she told me about you trying to help her with school and carrying me back. She didn’t say anything about- How long have you liked me?”
“Berry… I… but… Argh! Come to my place for dinner. Six. We will talk about this then. And bring Ruby! I have words for that filly!” I stomped out in what I hoped what was an indignant form. But then I heard the giggling, and as I left the shop:
“He likes me…”
**()^b^()**
So I left the shop, my chest aflutter, and my stomach growling. I needed food. But they were looking for me. In places that served food. So I was really in quite the jam. Or pickle. Or… Food. Food first, then Scratch and Octavia. Looking around, I could only see one real restaurant, so that’s where I headed.
“Welcome to Daisy’s! Where the sun shines! How can I help you, Mr.…”
“Ah! Accoustic, mam. I would like a... secluded table, if you don’t mind.”
“Hiding from the mares, then? We’ll see what we have. Follow me.” And she winked. And then I realized, all the mares in this town are CRAZY! But she led me to a table out of the way in a corner, hard to see from the front of the store, so I couldn’t complain. I sat down and she hoofed me a menu. Our hooves touched briefly.
“Be right back, can I get you a drink?”
“Vodka and cranberry, and ice water, if you please.”
“Wow, and so early in the day. Didn’t have you pegged as a drinker…” As she trotted off, I could only stare with my mouth open.
“If only you knew, mare. If only you knew.”
The food was good, the prices were decent, and my waitress (who I assumed correctly to be Daisy) was friendly. She stopped acting interested in me after about four drinks. I paid my bill and trotted on towards the studio. It was a beautiful day, almost a shame that I had to stay inside for most of it, but boy was it hot! I noticed a small dragon walking by, the one that lived in the library, and for some reason, decided to have a friendly chat.
“Hello, little dragon.”
“Uhhh, hello mister. My name is Spike.” He held out a claw. I put my hoof in it and we shook.
“Haven’t had a chance to say hello, but I’ve been meaning to. See you around all the time, and well, it was rude of me not to say hi. I mean, you’ve been here for months, haven’t you?”
The little dragon looked slightly nervous as he wrung his hands.
“Yes, I live in the library with Twilight Sparkle. I’m her assistant.”
“I’m Accoustic, and I run the radio station, K-Colt. Well, I’ll let you get back to-“
“Wait, you run K-Colt? I love that station! Twilight lets me listen while I do my chores! Man, I just love DJ-P0N3! You’re so lucky!” A devilish idea took hold of my brain.
“Would you like to meet her? In person, err, pony?” You should have seen his eyes. They were already dinner plate sized, but now… turkey serving dish size.
“Oh man! Yes! Thank you! I’m so stoked, this’ll be the best thing ever! What should I wear, what does she look like, what-“
“Easy, little guy. How about this? You ask Twilight if you can have tomorrow off-“
“That’ll never work. She never lets me leave chores…”
“Then tell her it’s a learning opportunity. Librarian can’t pass that up, right?”
The dragon let out this sound that can only be described as a ‘Squee’. It was so cute I had a mini-heart attack right there. He gave me a high-hoof.
“Meet me at the station tomorrow at five, right before the sun comes up. It’ll be great!”
I trotted away and heard youthful exclamations of wonder. This was going to make up for what my coworkers had done. Arguing over nothing! Music was music, and if they couldn’t see that, then they deserved what was coming to them.
**()^b^()**
When I got back to the studio, though, I got what was coming to me.
I tip-hoofed my way into the studio, being extremely careful not to let the door slam. It closed with a barely audible ~click~. Looking around, I could see no sign of my coworkers. Maybe they had decided to get lunch while they were already out?
The recording room was deserted. Tables were not on fire, equipment had not been smashed, and there were no holes in the walls. I peeked into my booth. Everything was just as I had left it. No… The disk automations were off. There was no music on the air right now. Then I realized what Scratch and Miss Prissy had done. They had left me in silence. Ohhhh, how I hate silence. Investigating under my desk, I discovered that all of the plugs had been pulled on my equipment. Knowing my long-time friend, I assumed that none of the equipment had been turned off before-hoof, so I went about pushing the power buttons on everything affected. Then I plugged them all into my power strip, and that went into the wa-
BJGINSHRRRRRGHWFJUUUUUUU My hooves were stuffed into my ears as I fought between getting this under control and protecting my hearing.
*unplug!* My ears were ringing like I’d been struck.
“Ow.” I was running out of princesses to swear by, but Vinyl was not going to live this down. This was, like…. The worst possible thing you could do to a sound technician pony.
I set about exacting my revenge. Vinyl would be in for a surprise when she got back.
**()^b^()**
1:57
They weren’t back yet. I could have gone out to find them, it would have been the responsible thing to do. Instead, I opted to stay in the studio until closing time. I may have loosened the lid clasps of Octavia’s cello while I waited. Oh, and removed all of the screws in Vinyl’s chair. But really. What was a little mischief compared to an assault on my ears?
…..
2:45
They still weren’t back. This day had been a total bust. I shut everything off and started home, grateful for a relatively uneventful day at work.
The bakery, Sugarcube Corner, was busy like always. High-pitched yelling punctuated my walk home, but it was nice. I saw Lyra sitting outside, in her unusual way, but I just waved a hoof and kept going. I was almost to the door when I heard galloping hooves.
“Mr. Accoustic!” I hadn’t even turned around when I was slammed to the ground in a blue-and-pink flurry. When my head stopped spinning, I saw Lotus, the spa pony, lolling her head as if she couldn’t decide whether or not to faint. Her pink mane was still smartly slicked back, which was a marvel after the tumble we had taken. I did a quick check and found myself unhurt, and saw the blue blur take a dive into the ground.
Mares.
**()^b^()**
Lotus was sleeping in my bed. Getting her there wasn’t hard, as she was quite light, but something felt wrong. She fainted way too easily. This whole day had been weird. Thinking back on it, mares had been acting crazy all day. First Vinyl and Octavia, which was nothing really special. But then Berry, and that restaurant mare, Daisy, and now Lotus… No. Something was definitely wrong. Lotus stirred a bit. I went into the kitchen and got a-
Berry. We were supposed to have dinner tonight. Oh, crap. I hurriedly looked around in my pantry and decided that yes, I did have enough to make a decent dinner. I had to start now though. Lotus would be fine in my bed, until she woke up, but that would be later. A good dinner takes time.
…
4:23
The food was coming along well. Hay fries, pasta, and a homemade lemon cake: almost done. I was hoping Berry would bring wine, cause… you know… wine shop? But I did have juice and milk. I checked in on Lotus: still sleeping. Shaking her gently did nothing but let out a small groan. Great. I still had time until Berry arrived, but what was I going to do? I couldn’t just leave her here. I had to stay with the food, so nothing would burn.
There was a rustling coming from my bedroom. It grew slightly louder until culminating in a very feminine:
“Ahhhh! W-Where am I?!” Said female burst out of my room, bed linens half covering her, hair scandalously messy, and makeup smeared all over.
“A-Acoustic? Why am I in your house?” I couldn’t resist.
“Well, good morning, sunshine. Sleep good?” The smile on my face was immense. Not as much as her blush, though.
“What?! But I don’t-We never-I was running to- oh, dear! The Rose bud oil rub! That’s what I came to tell you about! Do you remember the last time you came in for your appointment?”
I ran a hoof through my electric orange mane.
“Yeah, I do. Why?”
“We… I made a mistake. I thought I had rubbed you down with a rose oil extract, but it was actually a potion my sister had ordered from a friend. I’m so sorry! This is all my fault!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Just… just explain it all slowly.”
“Okay. It was a liquid form of the ‘Want-it-need-it’ spell. Do you remember that mess we were in when Twilight Sparkle enchanted that old doll? That was the spell. This potion was supposed to make everyone like you, but only for a while, and not nearly as potent. It was supposed to be applied in small doses, but… I accidentally used the whole bottle on you. Listen, the effect is passed on with contact, so anypony who has touched you will start to… well, love you.”
My mouth dropped open. How many ponies had I touched today? Then something in my head ~clicked~, and I understood. I knew why all the mares around me had been acting funny. I always messed with Vinyl’s mane in the morning, and had kissed Octavia’s hoof this morning just to make her blush. Berry ran her hoof through my mane, and I touched Daisy when she handed me the menu. And now… Lotus had run into me, knocking me to the ground. I had then carried her to my bed. No wonder things were so crazy!
“I… What do I do?” To her credit, Lotus did blush.
“I.. have never had a stallion who had to ask that of me.” To my credit, I did not stutter, but my face heated up like a furnace. ‘She’s under the influence of that potion-thing. She doesn’t mean it…’
“Lotus. F-focus. How do I get rid of this… Effect?”
“We have to go to Zecora’s. She made it, so she should know how to get it off. Or.. I get help you get off?” The blue mare in my house looked sultry. She smelled wonderful. She wiggled her rump a bit. I breathed in deeply.
“Lotus. You have to go home. I have a… friend coming over, so I can go see Zecora after that, but you are obviously fine, so please, leave before I make a big mistake.” I pointed a hoof at the door, afraid to physically force her. I was about to call the police when she turned and walked right out.
“Fine, just come see me soon, okay? I have other special treatments that customers don’t get.”
And with a wink, she was gone.
I smelled burnt cake.
**()^b^()**
The cake was not burned too badly. Berry and Ruby arrived right on time, six o’clock. She did bring the wine, as well as soft cider. When she brushed past me as she entered, I noticed Berry seemed… different.
“Berry, you look great. Hey Ruby.”
“Thanks, Couz. I’ll just put this in your fridge to chill out.” She nickered at her own joke, which I have to admit was pretty funny, and walked out the room. Ruby gave me a blank stare.
“You know everypony calls me ‘Pinchy’, right?”
“Yes, you told me that yesterday.”
“Okay, just checking to see if you remembered.” She trotted off to the kitchen too. I stood at the door, thinking about how I was going to get through the night.
Then the noise came. It was quiet. Coming from my kitchen.
Blasphemous.
It was the sound of two conspiratorial females whispering.
About me.
“I hope you two are behaving in there. I’m coming in.”
Giggles.
‘Oh, Celestia, Luna, Goddesses and rulers…’