Author's Note

You know you could have made this a more pleasurable reading experience for yourself had you just not read this at all. You know that, right?
Alternatively, you could have read it backwards, or not at all!
I did mention the bit where you didn't have to read this, right?
Because - spoilers - that's the moral of the story; to have not wasted your time and read this story.
You could have done something much more productive today.
Not to mention the fact you are now aware that there is a spooky scary skeleton inside of you.

Also, I may have glitched the author's notes, because I can see notes at the top and bottom of this chapter.

This chapter is, like, 20% cooler than the rest of this fic.

Goku found himself in a metropolis of his own. Skyscrapers scraped the sky, cars drove through the busy streets, and pedestrians sprawled across the sidewalks. He was facing a museum. The Saiyan figured the gem must have been inside, so he decided to have a browse of the museum to see if he could find it. He saw lots of different things, but nothing particularly interesting, until he stumbled inside a dark room with a light pointed at a glass case. Inside the case was a purple gem. "Hey, it looks like Dwight's butt-tattoo... heh, butt."

"The museum will be closing in fifteen minutes" said the loud speaker.

"Oh no!" Goku said to himself, "I have to figure out a way to get this out of here without causing too much trouble! Good thing the Doctor gave me this invisibility cloak!" he said, producing a large white towel from his somewhere. He threw the towel up in the air and caught it with his head. "Oh no!" Goku panicked, "I thought it was supposed to make me invisible, but it's just made everything else invisible! I can't see a thing!"

Luckily, Goku was smart and carried a knife at all times. "Hold your knife pointy side up when running, that way if you fall, you won't accidentally scratch the floor, and remember kids, you can run faster with a knife. It also helps if you bunny hop." He pulled his knife to the invisibility cloak and stabbed a couple of eye holes in the front.

Goku stealthily knocked the glass casing over, setting off the alarms. In a panic, Goku simply grabbed the gem and retreated to the corner of the room. 'I might have to maintain use of both of my arms, just in case something happens, but where can I put this gem?' he thought. Then a great idea struck him! 'If I put it on my head, the cloak will keep it in place on my head!'

Goku placed the gem on his head and kept to the corner. Security stood just outside the room. "We know you're in there. Come out with your hands up!"

Goku didn't move. He knew they couldn't see him. Goku got distracted by a discarded pretzel. "Ooh! Pretzel!" he picked it up and ate it, but it didn't go down very well and he started to cough. He wondered what else was in the museum, so he walked around the dark room looking towards the exit. He came into view of the security guards who had their weapons trained on him. They were shocked to see a fully-grown man dressed in a white cloak with a pointy hat.

Suddenly, Goku spotted something he remembered watching on TV. He raised his arm to point at it. "White Power-" he choked on his pretzel. "White Power-" he coughed and spluttered.

The guards were horrified. "Stand back or we'll shoot!"

Goku, however, was convinced he couldn't be seen... or heard, apparently - because invisibility cloaks are well renowned for their ability to completely block sound waves - and continued on his merry way towards the Power Rangers exhibition. The guards began unloading their clips into Goku's body and face. "Ow!" Goku cried.

The guards were terrified of the man before them who had taken no less than a dozen rounds at point blank range and was not only alive, but seemingly unhurt.

Before their darkest fears were realised, however, a man came crashing into the room. He was tall, white, and had a lot of product in his hair. He wore red and blue pyjamas, complete with a red cape and had a big 'S' on his chest.

'S?' Goku pondered. "Squiggle-man!" Goku cheered.

The comfortably-dressed man was unimpressed. "You've stolen a precious jewel. Please return it and turn yourself into the authorities."

Goku looked blankly at the man. "Wait, can you see me?"

"Of course!" he replied.

"Oh yeah. X-ray vision must let you see through invisibility cloaks, too!" Goku smiled through the cloak, "I'm Goku. I'm here to take this gem back to my new friends. Don't tell those guys, though; I don't think they want me to take it from their museum."

"I shall give you one more warning, citizen. Return that exhibit to the exhibit so that the exhibitionists can exhibit the exhibit!"

"No. This is my gem." Goku explained.

"That gem belongs to the museum. If you have discrepancy over ownership of the gem, you can file a report, but this is theft and I cannot allow that!" the under-dressed individual stated with unparalleled charisma.

"But I need it!" Goku cried.

The big 'S' man laughed! "For what purpose?" he chuckled.

Goku was stumped... "Actually, that hasn't been explained yet. I mean it's heavily implied that three sets of mysterious gems from three different universes have merged, but that hasn't been outright stated. Also, we were never really given any motivation to go searching for these things other than 'oh, look, we found one and we have a radar that shows us the locations of the rest'. So no. I have no idea why I need it. The gems from my universe are called Dragon Balls and they grant you any wish you want, though it is heavily dependent on plot convenience. I haven't really been told what the gems do from the other universes, but I'm sure it's for something good or useful to the plot."

"Regardless. I cannot allow you to take the museum piece."

Goku flung off his invisibility cloak, revealing his true form! He placed the gem inside his somewhere and lowered his stance, ready for a fight. "Then I guess we're going to have a problem."

The well-gelled man was shocked. "You have several guns trained on you, and you're standing in front of me - Superman - the Man of Steel - the strongest being on this planet! You can't seriously expect to fight your way through us..."

"Well I've got news for you." Goku growled "Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams, but it does heat it to the point of substantial structural weakness. Also, Xzibit is a terrible artist..."

"...but" Goku continued, "my fight is not with Xzibit, it's with you. I am San Goku, and I am the strongest there is!"

Goku screamed his waringest war scream and charged at Superman. Superman blocked Goku's thrown punches and kicks with little effort. Goku powered up and started throwing balls of energy at Superman, but Superman blocked those, too, but he didn't deflect them because he'd damage the museum and Superman didn't want to damage the museum because that would be bad and cost lots of money which Superman didn't have because Superman didn't have a paying job and he wasn't claiming any income support.

Superman laid out a few punches over Goku's face. This hurt Goku, but not much. Goku turned gay-o-ken, his fabulous sparkling pink aura surrounding him and went full bitch slapping Superman, but Superman felt nothing, merely a fly on his face, which seemed a little inconvenient and a bit weird until he realised it was undone which explained where the breeze was coming from so he tucked himself back in and zipped it up.

Superman placed his hand in front of Goku, and sternly shouted "Stop!" Goku froze in place, ready to re-enter Superman's face with his fists of ultimate fury. "You're holding back on me, I know. Why don't we take this somewhere where you needn't worry about holding back on me?"

Goku smirked. "Sure thing."

Superman turned to leave the museum, but as he did, his cape swooshed in front of Goku giving him a fantastic idea. Goku grabbed Superman's cape and wrapped it tightly around his neck. Superman had not the strength to remove Goku from his neck. Superman was being chocked out! "Stop chocking me!" he spluttered.

The guards dropped their weapons and zerg-rushed Goku, but Goku was not phased by puny humans of such tiny power levels. He simply powered up, sending them all flying with a shockwave of energy. Superman was struggling to breathe. He was losing consciousness. Goku kept chocking him until he stopped struggling. He laid Superman out on the floor and as quick as he could he grabbed the gem and got the fuck out.

He escaped back to the TARDIS with his life intact. What he came back to, though, was a complete surprise...