Pinkie Pie's Very Interesting Dreams
Spicy Gummy Bears and Donuts
"Goodnight, Sunset Shimmer!"
"Goodnight, Pinkie."
"Goodnight, Fluttershy!"
"Oh, goodnight, Pinkie."
"Goodnight, Rarity!"
"Goodnight, darling."
"Goodnight Rainbow Dash!"
"Zzzzzzz..."
"Oh, she's already asleep." Pinkie giggled. "Goodnight Applejack!"
"'Night, Pinkie!"
"Goodnight, Twilight!"
"Goodnight, Pinkie."
When the last of her good nights were said, Pinkie Pie doubled over and started snoring.
When Pinkie opened her eyes again, she was on the moon.
"Oh, hello, moon rock!" She exclaimed, floating over to a rock nearby. "My sister Maud would love you!" Pinkie Pie giggled and did a ballet twirl, not bothering to wonder how she could breath without oxegyn.
"PINKIE DIANE PIE." Suddenly Maud's enormous face descended in front of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie gasped.
Hey, Maud!" She greeted her sister's head cheerfully. "I saved you a rock!" She pointed to the rock in question.
"GIVE ME THAT ROCK." Maud's voice was deep and commanding, unlike her monotone in the waking world.
Suddenly, Maud opened her giant mouth and swallowed the moon and Pinkie Pie whole!
"Yipee!" Pinkie Pie cried as she rode a giant donut like a raft down Maud's throat. She splashed into a lake of maple syrup at the bottom.
"Maple syrup!" She yelled in delight, doing a back flip off her donut. Pinkie landed in the syrup and began to kick it off her hands.
"What could be better than maple syrup?" She asked in delight. "Besides cupcakes? Or brownies? Or parties?"
"How about pizza?" When Pinkie looked up, she was greeted by a green ninja turtle in an orange mask.
"Oh my gosh!" Pinkie clapped her hands. "You're Mikey! You're a character from that show Marble loves! She showed it to me last night!"
"That's right!" Mikey agreed, holding up his hand for a high-five. Pinkie accepted. "I'm like your new best friend!"
"Ohmygoodness awesome!" Pinkie squealed. "So what were you saying about pizza earlier?"
Oh, right!" Mickey grinned and snapped his fingers. A fresh pizza landed on Pinkie's head. "Pizza is totally the best thing ever!"
"Do you put sprinkles and icing on your pizza?" Pinkie asked, taking a bite of the pizza that had been on her head.
"That's totally the best idea ever!" Mikey exclaimed. "A cupcake pizza! With ice cream!" Pinkie gasped.
"I feel like I've known you forever!" She cried.
"I feel like I've known you forever!" Mikey answered. The two hugged each other.
"I wish you were my sister!" Mikey added.
"I wish you were my sister!" Pinkie replied enthusiastically.
"I AM ALREADY YOUR SISTER!" The Maud Head had returned! Its eyes were blazing white, and it's mouth moved like it was a puppet on strings.
"Oh no!" Mikey cried. He fell over and turned into a pizza.
"Mikey!" Pinkie Pie wailed. She turned back to Maud. "I'm gonna hurt you know, 'cause I know you're fake!"
HA HA HA!" The Maud Head's laugh was slow and deliberate. Its eyes flashed every color of the rainbow like those funny YouTube videos.
"Party cannon GO!" Pinkie cried, bringing out a blue cannon from the dimensions of space and time. At the same time, her hair grew into a long ponytail complete with pony ears.
Pinkie Pie blasted the Maud Head into oblivion with streams and confetti.
"Yeah!" Suddenly, a Pinkie Pie Pony was floating next to Pinkie Pie. "Good job, me!"
"Thanks, me!" Pinkie accepted the comment. "Like my ears?"
"They're so adorable!" Pinkie Pie Pony agreed. "Does your hair taste like cotton candy? Mine does!"
"Mine doesn't!" Pinkie Pie pouted. "Believe me, I've tried." She perked up as an idea hit her. "Hey! Can I taste your hair?"
"Of course!" Pinkie Pie Pony held out a lock of pink hair for Pinkie Pie to lick. The lock began to grow.
And grow, and grow, and grow, until soon Pinkie was surrounded by a mass of pink curls that smelled very much of cotton candy.
Just as Pinkie Pie reached out to lick some, it all disappeared.
"Oh yeah!" Pinkie screamed as she fell at a zillion light years per millisecond towards a sandy desert. She was wearing a blue skydiving outfit and goggles.
Pinkie suddenly crashed into an oasis. It didn't hurt, but the force from traveling at a zillion light years per millisecond sent waves of sand crashing in every direction.
"When did my dreams get so violent?" Pinkie asked herself. She rubbed her head, but since there was no pain, there was no reason for her to rub her head. It was a paradox, in Pinkie's opinion.
"What is a paradox, exactly?" Pinkie asked herself, abandoning the head rubbing and starting the chin rubbing. Thick black glasses suddenly appeared on her face as she contemplated this.
Pinkie was suddenly in an empty classroom, sitting at a desk in the middle of the room. Twilight popped up in front of the blackboard.
"'Paradox: A statement or proposition that, despite sound (or apparently sound) reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems senseless, logically unacceptable, or self-contradictory,'" Twilight recited, the words appearing on the blackboard as quickly as they appeared. This being a dream, Pinkie couldn't read the text, but she nodded like she understood anyway.
Suddenly, Twilight's lavender skin became yellow. Her indigo hair poofed and frizzed until it was a mess of orange curls. Her violet eyes turned brilliant raspberry and were lined with eyeliner. Twilight's outfit morphed into a fancy one with a velvet skirt, gold belt, and a vivid purple top.
"Pop quiz," Adagio Dazzle snarled, grinning maliciously. Pinkie gasped as Adagio threw papers and pens at Pinkie.
"What years was the flute invented? What's a compound triple meter?" Adagio began peppering Pinkie with questions about music.
"Hey! Stop that!" Pinkie yelled.
"Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie," Adagio taunted in a voice that sounded like Rainbow Dash's. "Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie..."
"Pinkie!" Pinkie blinked her eyes open. Rainbow Dash was shaking her awake.
"I'm up! I'm up!" Pinkie grumbled playfully, swatting at Rainbow's arm. She got up and followed her friends downstairs for breakfast.
"So, what did everyone dream about?" Sunset Shimmer asked when they were seated at the kitchen table. Pinkie yawned.
"I don't know," she responded, "I never remember my dreams."
Author's Note
You science geeks, tell me facts about a zillion light years per millisecond. 
I had this idea when I came across the funny screencap that is used as the cover art. I also had a weird dream Saturday night, so I've slipped back into my obsession-over-dreams phase. 
