Wherein Twilight Stuffs a Chicken in a Turkey
Twilight Sparkle sat in the library of her new castle, perusing over a few of the newest books sent over from Canterlot and the princess sisters' old castle. It was somewhat late in the day. Twilight glanced up at the clock then at a particular book she kept close by to her.
Ever since the events at Canterlot High with the sirens, Sunset Shimmer had begun writing letters to Princess Twilight using the magic book. Partly to send reports on what she was learning about friendship but mostly to stay up with the latest gossip. Sunset would tell of the adventures of her group and Twilight would do the same in return.
Around the same time each day, the book would vibrate and glow, indicating a message had arrived. But today, it was nearly two hours late! Twilight, in usual fashion, paced through every worse case scenario in her head. This lead her to nearly open the portal and go see what the problem was. Before she could, though, the book finally did vibrate and Twilight slammed the book open.
"Dear Princess Twilight," she read aloud. Spike wandered in and carrying a few books himself. He stayed quiet as she read aloud.
"Sorry for writing late today, I know how much punctuality is important to you. However, this particular day is a special day in this world they call Thanksgiving. It’s a sort of ritual that dates back…” Twilight trailed off with her reading. Normally she’d take the time to read the entire letter and not just skim it, but she had two hours to catch up on! “Let’s see… giving thanks for things in their lives, a huge feast… they eat something called a Turken?” She mumbled aloud, Spike getting more and more curious about the letter.
“A Turken? Is that like, a crossbred turkey and chicken?”
Twilight rolled her eyes and looked up from the book, giving Spike an incredulous look. “Turkeys and chickens can’t crossbreed, Spike. At least I don’t think so....” She returned to her book and kept reading, giving an odd sounding oh. “Well, it’s not EXACTLY crossbreeding. It seems to be a dish of a turkey with a chicken stuffed in it, which in turn is stuffed with cornbread stuffing. I wonder if Sunset ever tried this?” She then returned to reading the letter aloud.
“While I know that you don’t generally eat meat, I’m sure this ritual of giving thanks could be a great bonding experience for the Elements of Harmony.” Twilight paused only a second before slamming the book shut and nodding once. “If this could help bring us closer, let’s do the ritual!”
Spike just shook his head and gave a sigh. “She knows you ponies don’t eat meat, so why would she even suggest that idea?” he asked, trying to be a voice of reason and trying to wrap his head around the idea. “You aren't REALLY going to eat meat, are you?”
But Twilight hadn’t heard him. She became lost in her own little world as she continued to read the rest of the entry silently to herself, mumbling about plans for the ritual. She went into the kitchen. Loud clangs and bangs, whirs and whistles, and all manner of sounds emanated from the room. Twilight wasn’t the best of cooks, nor the cleanest. After an hour or two, Twilight emerged from the kitchen, covered in various food stuffs from head to hoof. Even her wings were covered in an odd, chunky red gel. “Gah! The can of cranberry sauce exploded everywhere when I tried to open it! If you’d be kind enough to clean up in the kitchen once I’m done prepping everything for the ritual. Also, keep watch over the castle and clean in your room while I’m gone. I need to make a quick trip to Fluttershy’s.”
Twilight left without another word, leaving Spike standing in the middle of the hall and his mouth hung open in an expression of shock. His expression softened slightly before turning into a grimace, then into a scowl. He clenched his claws into a fist and raised it to the sky. “One of these days, Twilight! Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!” he yelled angrily.
“Only an alicorn can banish to the moon!” called back Twilight from the front door, eliciting a surprised, choked cough from the dragon followed by a green and purple blur up to Spike’s room.
Twilight returned some time later, carrying with her a couple of packages. She made a beeline for the still messy kitchen to set said packages down. Once unencumbered, she turned her head and called out in an imitation of Luna’s Canterlot voice. “SPIKE! WE DEMAND YOU GET DOWN TO THE KITCHEN POST HASTE!” She giggled at her outburst. She wasn’t trying to scare the dragon, but with how large the new castle was, sometimes it was the only way to quickly get a pony’s attention.
Spike entered the kitchen barely 5 seconds after her call, but he didn’t seem winded or covered in sweat. He was, however, holding his claws over his ears. “Are you trying to make me go deaf!? I was just one room over!” When he saw the sheepish grin on Twilight’s face, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “You passed right by me when you came in! How did you not…” He shut his mouth when he saw the mare’s nose was shoved in the magic book again. “Right. Book. What did you need?”
Twilight’s answer was rather vague, a few random phrases shoved together. The most important info he was able to pick out mentioned something about Scootaloo coming over to help with the ritual and that she would be arriving-
“A PONY IS AT THE FRONT DOOR!” boomed a recording of Twilight’s voice. “WE REQUIRE SOMEPONY TO GREET-” There was a pause, followed by a rather timid voice sounding quite like a filly’s. “U-Uh? What? Um. Scootaloo? Why are you shouting at me?” there was another short pause. “AT THE FRONT DOOR!”
Spike faceclawed and quickly ran to the front door, an apologetic look on his face. He greeted Scootaloo who, strangely enough, had a deep blush on her face. “Sorry about the ‘doorbell’” he said, making air quotes with his claws. “It was Twilight’s idea since this place is so big and…” Spike shut his mouth and stared at the filly and sighed, rolling his eyes again. “Aaaand you don’t care about that. Twilight’s in the kitchen.” No sooner had the words left the dragon’s mouth, the filly pegasus zipped off past him and down the hall. He could hear the two talking, Twilight answering vaguely and Scootaloo asking a LOT of questions about why Twilight needed HER help specifically, especially about turkeys and stuffing.
Spike shrugged and turned away from the door. He walked off to his now clean room and flopped down on his bed for a nap. Who knew how long it will be til Twilight was done?
Spike… SPIKE~
“NNngh… Twilight? Your horn isn’t supposed to be used to store emergency donuts…” mumbled out the sleeping dragon before sitting up in surprise. The voice he was hearing wasn’t in his dream, it was in reality. “AGH! HORN DONUTS!” he sputtered out before looking around. “Twilight… oh… what’s wrong?” he asked sleepily.
Twilight shook her head and smiled at the dragon. “Nothing’s wrong, everypony’s here and ready to start. I put the turkey in the oven and set the timer, so we can start the first part of the ritual. So come on down to the dining room and we can get started.”
Spike jumped out of bed and stretched, smacking his lips a few times and making his way to the dining room. Once there, he took note that everypony was there. Well not ALL the ponies in Ponyville. Rarity, Applejack, their sisters Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and himself were the only ones in attendance. He went to the nearest seat and climbed on it it, giving a frown when he saw a card indicating the seat belonged to Twilight. In fact, each location at the table had a card, save for four names: Spike, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo.
“Hey, Twilight! Where’s MY namecard?” he complained, the purple mare approaching the young dragon and giving him a pat on the head. “The tradition states that children sit at what’s called the kids’ table, so that’s where you get to sit. You may be my number one assistant, but you’re still just a baby dragon.”
Spike huffed and stomped his way over to the much shorter table and took a seat, watching as the other ponies got into place as well. Shortly after everypony was settled, Twilight stood from her seat.
“Everypony, we’re here today to celebrate something from the human world Sunset Shimmer calls Thanksgiving. If everything goes well, I, as Princess of Friendship, plan to decree the tradition to be celebrated the world over here in Equestria.” She paused and took a sip of water from her glass. “According to Sunset, the first portion of the tradition is to go around to each pony and have each one say something they are thankful for. I’ll start, then we’ll each take turns.” Twilight paused again and took another small sip of water.
“This year, I’m thankful for my friends in both the human and pony worlds. They have helped me learn and grow so much, I have no idea where I’d be without you all.”
“Probably in the library!” came Pinkie’s quick response followed by a giggle. Twilight glanced over at the outburst and sighed. Not because she was tired of Pinkie’s antics, but because Pinkie was absolutely right. “Its my turn! I’m thankful for all the ponies that I can help make happy!” Pinkie called out before anypony else could object. “Applejack’s turn!”
Applejack was completely caught off guard and coughed a couple of times. “My turn already? Ok, well… I guess I'm thankful for my family. They always are there for me, no matter how hardheaded and stubborn I can be.”
“I’m next!” came a brash outburst. Eveypony there turned their attention to the cocky pegasus. “I’m thankful for my wings, cause they let me do all sorts of awesome things!” Rainbow Dash bragged. “What? You didn’t say it had to be something like friends or family! Anyhay, Rarity, it’s your turn! What are you thankful for?”
Rarity smiled wide and gave a nod. “Well, darlings, I would have to say I’m thankful for Spike.” This statement caught Spike off guard, looking up from his spot at the kids’ table. “For everything he does for me, helping with dresses, finding gems, and so forth, he’s truly the best of my best friends. I wouldn’t have it any other way, and for that I’m thankful.”
Twilight gave a nod and a wide smile. “One more to go before I get the turkey out of the oven, then it’s the kids’ turn. So, Fluttershy, first, thank you for letting me have one of your turkeys. I’d figure you’d put up more of a complaint about eating him.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble. That turkey was part of a group I was raising to sell to some griffons,” she explained.
“And secondly, Fluttershy, what is it you’re thankful for?”
There wasn’t even a pause before she answered. Fluttershy had been thinking of her answer the entire time. “That’s easy! I’m thankful for my cock.”
Everypony stared at the mare as if she were some kind of strange beast, with Rarity, who was in the middle of sipping her drink, spit it out.
“E-excuse me, Fluttershy?” Rarity managed to say with a deep blush on her face. “You have… a cock?”
Fluttershy wasn’t blushing at all when she nodded in response. “Oh, my, yes. He’s big and black, I’m constantly having to scrub him clean especially after playing in a muddy trench, he loves playing with my chickens, especially Elizabeak-” When she looked up, she found herself staring at the horrified faces of her friends. “W-what? Is there something on my face?”
Rainbow Dash was the one to lean over and whisper in Fluttershy’s ear. NOW she blushed and brought her hooves up to hide her face. “Uh… Crockpot’s a rooster...”
Everypony breathed a sigh of relief, every expression returning to normal.
“That makes MUCH more sense!” laughed out Pinkie Pie, turning to watch Twilight walk into the kitchen. She heard each hoofstep and laughed again. “Hey Twilight! I can hear you clopping in the kitchen!” Everypony turned to look at Pinkie and all said the same word at the same time. “Pinkie!”
“What? Fluttershy started it! And I can totally hear her clopping hoofsteps in the kitchen!” Sweetie Belle leaned over to Applebloom and opened her mouth to ask a question. She whispered and asked, “What’s clopping?” Applebloom was just about to answer when Twilight came in carrying the turkey. She set it down in the middle of the table and nodded, looking over to the kids’ table. “Now that the turkey’s out, let’s quickly ask the kids what they’re thankful for, starting with Spike.”
Spike gave a shrug as he thought. “Well, I guess I’d be thankful for, well, everything Twilight’s done for me. Really, if it wasn’t for her, who knows where I’d be today.” He looked up and glanced toward Pinkie’s place, curious why there was no obvious answer coming from her. Pinkie, however, was more interested in the turkey sitting on the table. “Pinkie?”
“Shhh! The turkey’s moving!” she said in a stage whisper.
Twilight rolled her eyes and facehoofed. “Pinkie, the turkey isn’t moving… Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, your turn. Let’s hurry this up before Pinkie starts hallucinating even more from lack of food.”
“Our sisters!”
Twilight chuckled out loud and nodded. “Of course, girls, of course. Finally we have Scootaloo. Let’s hear what you’re thankful for, then we can eat.”
There was a pause for Scootaloo to answer, but strangely, there was no response. “Scootaloo?” asked Twilight again. “We’re waiting…” Again, no answer.
“Twilight?” asked Pinkie Pie, hoof poking at the turkey. “Is this supposed to still be cold? And moving?” Pinkie pulled over a carving knife and began to carefully cut into the thoroughly uncooked bird.
Twilight wasn’t paying attention to Pinkie. She stood up from her seat and walked over to the table, blinking when she looked at the kids’ table. There was Spike, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and… an uncooked chicken. Thousands of thoughts ran through her head before she was finally able to say anything. “A… a raw chicken? But if the chicken’s there then where is Scootaloo?”
No sooner had the words left her lips, Pinkie split the turkey open enough for a head to pop out, followed by a couple of coughs and stuffing falling from the open mouth. It was Scootaloo, who had been accidentally stuffed inside the turkey after being stuffed with stuffing. Everypony looked back and forth between the filly sticking out of the turkey and the alicorn princess who had prepared the whole party. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife until, finally, Scootaloo broke the silence.
“This isn’t what I thought you meant when you said you needed help stuffing your turkey!”
