Waking up in Equestria

A cold, damp wind shivered me awake with an unpleasant and jarring suddenness. Pale, bright light filtered through my eyelids and removed any chance of me going back to sleep now that I was aware of it while a deep chill seeped into me from the hard, wet surface I was laying on. There was no source of warmth or comfort to be found here. Irritated by the situation, I opened my eyes.

I blinked into the unbroken view of a low grey sky that filled my vision with it's dull diffuse light. The clouds that hung above me were gray and heavy, pregnant with rain as they slid by overhead. Again came the shivering wind, stiff and murmuring of a winter either not far away or not far behind. I sat up and felt my sanity begin to fall apart.

I was laying in the deserted field of my school, still dressed in the shorts and light T-shirt of my PE clothes. I was... home?

I reeled, hugging myself and rocking forward not from the chill that penetrated my bones but from the overwhelming sense of loss that washed over me. Scootaloo, my wings, flying, Equestria... all of it. Gone. I envisioned it with a painful, sweet clarity that contrasted with the dull washed out environment I was in now. It was like someone had turned the color settings down on the TV of my eyeballs, casting a dead and uninteresting pallor over everything. Even the carefully manicured wet grass that soaked my butt was uninviting and drab.

A dream? It couldn't have been. It was so real... so there.

"Mason! Get your butt into the locker room! You want a pink slip for missing class?!" I heard a voice say from some distance.

My head felt thick and heavy as I turned to see Mr. Phelps, the phys ed teacher, standing at the back of the gym holding the door open to the locker room. That stupid fucking whistle of his around his neck rested against the light blue jumpsuit he always wore. Another pang of loss and grief stabbed me... it was the same color of Rainbow Dash's coat, or would have been if the colors here were right.

On legs that felt like two sticks of butter, I rose and slowly walked towards the gym door that now was closing behind him. I was shivering violently from the cold and also the sense of loss of the world I'd come to be a part of... and the part of me that I'd given to Scootaloo. Tears sprang into my eyes, blurring the drab scene of the tan track and dark brick building beyond that housed the gym. I felt as if the whole warm center of my soul was ripped out of me, leaving an empty, hollow shell that wept for what it had lost and moaned with the wind that seemed to blow right into my heart.

I moved mindlessly, seeing but not registering like a zombie staring straight ahead. My only thoughts were of her face, her smell... her love for me that had made me feel complete. It was all just a fantasy that my brain had concocted in a cruel trick of chemicals and electrical impulses. But how could I feel this much pain from a dream? I'd had intense dreams before... but nothing that had left me with this much despair over leaving it.

The smell of the locker room hit my nose when I opened the door. The stench of sweat and funk from countless lockers filled with high school boy gym shorts and shirts layered on top of the acrid tone of bleach stung my nostrils in a painfully real way. I moved out of ritualistic habit down the rows of faded red metal lockers, stacked three high next to long metal benches. My legs knew when to turn, carrying me to my locker that I stared at it blankly, unwilling to interact with this empty world and finalize it's reality. The red paint that had been applied an untold number of years ago was faded away with the repeated scrubbing to a pastel pink color... Pinkie Pie pink.

Oh god, I wasn't going to be able to do it. I couldn't live here... this couldn't be my life anymore. Not after what I had experienced in that dream. I had become someone else, something else. I had felt good about who I was and the things I did that this version of me here could never aspire to do. I'd had friends who cared about me, and a girl who loved me with every inch of her wonderful, vibrant being. Could dreams continue when you weren't there? Would she wake up to find me gone suddenly and feel the same crushing loss that I was now?

I stood motionless in front of the stack of lockers that I knew had mine in it, vacantly staring at the raised metal letters of the manufacturer on the locker door had been scrubbed free of paint long ago. They stood out in bright silver contrast to the faded background of the pinkish paint around it, blurring and clearing repeatedly as I blinked away the tears that continued to well up and spill over my cheeks.

"Luna Industries, LLC"

____________________________________________________

I didn't remember changing or even walking to my next class. I only became aware of myself seated at my desk, staring forward at the back of the girl's head in front of me while Mrs Baily ran over the equations in today's math lesson. I couldn't remember the girls name, but it didn't matter. Her hair was dyed a very dark blue and had a bright purple-ish stripe down one side that flowed to her mid back.

That stripe was the only thing in the classroom that seemed alive with color. The brown walls with calculus symbols printed out and hung up like anyone actually gave a shit about learning them were washed out, dingy looking. The color was there... but then again it wasn't. Overhead the florescent lights buzzed their one note song in a wash of sickly fake light that only accentuated the dreary, sterile room's interior. Even the other students seemed to be missing the color and life force that another being should have, faded and barely there like a copy of a copy of a copy.

But that stripe was alive. It was vibrant in the way I remembered the world of my dream was. It captured my attention and I struggled to move my eyes away from it.

My book sat unopened and uncared about. No paper or pen had materialized from my backpack. I was never more uninterested in being somewhere than I was right now. Dreams were supposed to fade quickly after waking... weren't they?

"... we can also define fractional exponents in terms of a root." her arm swooped across the chalkboard drawing esoteric symbols that meant nothing to me. She continued drawing wordlessly and at some point... what she was drawing had changed.

When her hand moved away I saw that she had drawn a diamond shape followed by an outline of an apple. Next a butterfly... and then a lightening bolt. My eyes registered this and I swam in a delirious rush of knowledge . They looked familiar, resonating with the yearning inside to return to that dream world so much that I cried out a wordless bark of desperate recognition. The class turned to me in unison. The weight of their combined eyes in the silence that followed bore into me with crushing force.

"Mason, is something wrong?" Mrs Baily asked with annoyance. She was probably in her late 40's, maybe 50's and had so many cats that I could see the hair on her lifeless green dress from here.

"Why did you draw those! How do you know those symbols!" I stood up, breathless and pointing to the chalkboard in a frantic need for answers.

"What do you mean? They are the basic equations of the problem you are to be solving, Mason. Not disturbing my class as you are right now." she scowled.

"No they..." I looked again. There were no apples on the chalkboard... no lightening bolts or diamonds. Just simple roots, integers and exponents in a long string outlying an equation that sought a resolution. It mocked me with it's complexity.

Snickers came from a few of my fellow classmates followed by some low utterances of "Freak" and "Loser". I was losing my mind, quickly and surely given how I felt at that moment. I couldn't stand it any longer. I didn't care about this place, this school or even my life. My entire being was centered on wanting to return to that world and the ponies that loved me. This place didn't feel right, it didn't feel whole... like it was a bad facade of what it should be. I didn't know where to go, but I couldn't stay here one second longer.

I ran from the room, leaving the yells of protest from Mrs Baily behind to echo down the tiled hallway behind me. My empty foot steps clattered noisily as I ran past door after door, seeing them through watery eyes again. Scootaloo's smiling face hovered before my eyes and spurned me on to find a release from this world, be it death or a doorway back.

I turned the corner at the end of the hall and ran down the wide steps to the first floor two at a time, tripping on the last set and sprawling out painfully, my elbows squealing like basket ball shoes on a court against the hard white tile floor. Scrambling to my feet, I took off again without looking and ran straight into someone who didn't move at the impact. I was thrown again, this time backwards and landed painfully on my ass.

Looking up to see who I had run into, I shrank back in confused horror.

It wasn't a person at all. It was a patchwork colored wall of pastel colors that vibrated and shimmered with it's own internal life. Purples, Oranges, Pinks, Whites, Yellows and Light Blues all claimed various sections in a random pattern, meshing together to form a solid panel of color that blocked out anything behind it. It stretched as far as I could see in either direction down the hallway to my left and right, cutting me off from the exit beyond. I couldn't make sense of it. My mind swirled in confusion as I watched the entire surface ripple and wave before me with some unseen disturbance. Then the voices started...

"Who do ya think you are?" a voice with a southern accent accused.

"I've a right mind to call the authorities!" another said with a debutant flair.

"We trusted you..." a third said, heavy with hurt and disappointment.

More and more voices added their statements in an increasing cacophony of accusations and vitriol that I sensed...no knew was aimed at me. The things they said hurt me on a level that I couldn't describe. It was like every word chipped away at the peace and serenity of that dream world's potential, removing it further from my grasp. My hands clamped over my ears against the deafening noise, aware now that I was screaming.

"...son. MASON!" a voice rang though the noise, pulling my awareness down and away from the scene before me.

I was sitting up, covered in sweat and shaking on the blanket that I shared with Scootaloo at the camp we had made in the Everfree forest. Twilight Sparkle was standing in front of me with wide, anxious eyes. The sight of her snapped me out of it, my head jerked over to see Scootaloo curled up peacefully asleep inches away. Relief washed over me so powerful that I gave a gasping cough of a sob. Lunging forward, I wrapped my arms around Twilight's neck tightly, pushing my face into the cascade of her mane.

"Twilight... You're here..." I breathed into her neck. The feel of her coat and mane against my skin was real and alive. Her scent that reminded me of lavender and scented candles filled my nose with wonderful affirmation that everything was alright.

"Yeah... uh.. where else would I be?" she asked in bemusement, giving me a brief hug in return with a hoof. "Looks like somepony got a serious visit from Luna"

I let her go and turned towards Scootaloo. I didn't want to wake her, but gently placed a loving kiss on her sleeping cheek, stroking her mane briefly. She stirred, giving a sleepy 'mmph' and nestled against my hip tighter

"It was horrible, Twilight. I was suddenly back in the human world. Losing you guys... losing Scootaloo was driving me insane." I said quietly. "I... don't think I can go home now, even if I could."

Her face relaxed in a caring smile. "You are home, Mason. Try and get some sleep." she stayed a moment longer while I settled back down and then returned to her own bedding, leaving me to curl up with Scootaloo, her back pressed into my chest tightly.

The dream had already begun to lose it's power, but the ending stayed with me long after the morning had come.