PIE: Patapon In Equestria

Chapters

The arrival.
Matereals, and contact.
Pata pata patta!
A-hunting we will go
Harmony, Discord, and everything inbetween.
The drums of war beat
To war we go
The after party
Plans and portals
You can't starve with this many hounds around
Your friendly neighborhood mad scientist, Wilson!
Discord strikes forward
Drums and DM's
The Calm
Don't feed the drum (Prologue)

The arrival.

I was floating. It was pretty freaky. I flailed about for a few minutes before realizing that I wasn't going to fall. That's when I took notice of my surroundings. I was in a forest. It looked very normal. I was getting bored. I tried swimming through the air. It didn't work. I tried walking. Once again, it didn't work. Then I willed myself to move forward. Bingo. I started moving forward at a slow pace. I tried going faster. It worked. I was soon flying through trees at ludicrous speeds. I had found out pretty early that I went right through trees, It had a strange no-clipping effect.

But soon I was wondering where the Patapon tribe was. And for that matter, where was my drum? That's when I felt a strange sixth sense reach out, and I could feel the drum. Testing this, I managed to make the drum sound. That's when I started to feel something even more important. Something that I have no idea how I had missed all this time. I felt the heart beat of the earth. It went 'bon bon bon bon' into infinity. I felt an urge to start beating my drum in beat to the earth, so I did.

"Pon pon pon pon." I said as I played. I saw a light begin to materialize in front of me, so I went on. As I played, the light grew larger and larger. Then, as I thought everything would be engulfed, it condensed into a tiny seed. I instantly recognized at as a Mater seed. I did not know how I knew, but I did. You see, the Mater tree was the literal mother of the entire Patapon tribe, and was able to resurrect dead Patapons. I grabbed it out of the air. How I could touch this when I could no-clip through everything else, I had no idea. I paused as I noticed that I was black now.

"Huh. I always wondered what it was like to have a dark skin color." I was honestly nonplused about this, with everything that had happened so far. But I knew how to bring the Patapon tribe to this land. I flew around a little more before deciding that one place was as good as another. I placed the seed on the ground. I was amazed as the seed immediately sprouted, and grew into a wonderful tree.

I was amazed at this. I had seen it from the game, but the 2d graphics did nothing to describe it's wonder. I then wondered how I was going to get my first Patapon when lights started at the tips of the main two branches, and quickly swirled to the center. Then they came out of the tube like thing, and a Patapon was there. It got up from the ground, and asked,

"Where am I? And who am I? I don't know." It was a female voice In the game, Meden had that voice. And it looked like a 3D Meden anyway, without all the finery. I was going to call her Meden then. That was the time that Meden looked up at me, and jumped to her feet. She asked, "Who are you?" in a startled tone. I quickly decided on a name. My old name, David, wouldn't do for the god of a mighty tribe. I decided on Kami, as that was the default name.

"I am Kami, the god of the Patapon tribe. You are the first Patapon in this land. Your name will be Meden." She looked at me, shocked.

"Why do you speak to me then, great one?" I tried to think of something grand to say.

"Because," I thought of something. In the game, Meden was your priestess, so I would go on with that. " Because you'll be my priestess. You will help me make us into something great, and help me guide the tribe to Earthend." She looked like she was broken for a moment, but then she said,

"Thank you, great one. What is your first command?" I thought. I needed more Patapons, so that was first priority. I went over to, and touched the Mater tree. Meden looked startled at this, but didn't say anything. I then felt something enter my mind. It was the list of the entire tribe, and the requirements to get a new Patapon. If I was to be ready to fight any time soon, I was going to need Hatapon. In the game, Hatapon was the Patapon flag bearer. I quickly said,

"Gather a large stone, some wood, and something to bind it together with. Also get a piece of bark that's as big as you are, or lot's of pieces of bark, and a long stick." Meden looked a little curios, but started looking. It took about an hour, but she came back with the requested items.

"What should I do now, great one?" I touched the tree again, and looked for the answer.

"Just bind the wood into a hat, dig a hole at the roots of Mater, place everything in the hole, then put the dirt back in the hole." She looked puzzled.

"Mater, great one?"

"That strange tree right there. It's the thing that gives birth to all Patapons." She looked satisfied with that, and begun doing as I asked. It took many attempts before she managed to make the hat well enough. And then it took even longer for her to dig a deep enough hole. She was slightly testy after that, but she was soon pushing the dirt back into the hole. What happened next startled her. Lights once again swirled around, and Hatapon poped out holding his flag. Hatapon was as confused as Meden when she was born. But Meden explained everything, and I named him. Meden then asked,

"What should we do now, great one?" I touched Mater again, and decided that I needed some Yaripons. Yaripons were spear hurlers, and were the basic unit in the game.

"You need to gather some meat, wood, and stone. As well as materials for more hat's." With that, we began the long posses of gathering the materials needed.

Matereals, and contact.

Meden and Hatapon were still gathering materials for new units. They were taking their sweet time. The sun was going to set soon, and I didn't want to be down a Patapon. I guess they would have a hard time finding the meat, but still. I worried until they returned at dusk, carrying a small rabbit, a large stick, a stone, and the materials for a new hat.

"Sorry great one." Meden said. "We had a hard time catching anything."

"It's fine," I said. "Just make the hat, and put all of it in a hole next to Mater" Meden looked to Hatapon, and said,

"You dig the hole."

"Why?" Hatapon asked, "You would do just as well." Meden sighed theatrically as she said,

"Because you're stronger. You are the flag bearer, after all." Hatapon grumbled as he started digging the hole. Meden, on the other hand, started humming tunelessly as she started making a hat.

The hat was finished way before the hole, so I said,"Meden, go help Hatapon. It will get things done faster." Meden's expression soured as she walked over to Hatapon. Hatapon looked triumphant at this, and was much happier as Meden joined him. It still took a while. I was grateful for the fact that Mater gave off a ghostly glow that illuminated the area. They were done at about an hour after Meden joined in. They shoved the materials in the hole, and covered it again. Soon, Mater shone, and the first Yaripon was born.

"Where am I?" He asked, holding a spear in one hand. I left the other two to instruct him. A little while afterward, I heard a strange noise. It sounded like-

"Screaming?" I quickly rushed over to the Patapon's, where they were trying to get to sleep on the ground. "Get us ready for an attack! There's screaming heading this way!" They looked around before they heard it. The Yaripon jumped up, excited. Hatapon took position behind the Yaripon. Meden, however, cowered back. That was to be expected, of course. Meden was no warrior. It was a few seconds later that we saw them. Two small... Pegacorn things, ran in front of a wooden wolf, screaming human screams. I started pounding my one drum as the Yaripon drew his arm back to throw.

"Pon pon pon pon." It did little, I needed the Pata drum to do more, but Yaripon's spear took a leg out from underneath the wolf. I was about to wonder about the usefulness of a warrior who disarmed himself, when the spear magically reappeared in his hand. The two pegacorns cringed as the spear flew past them, but they heard the wolf collapse.

They stopped, apparently realizing that running wouldn't do any good against Yaripon's spear. The white one with the rainbowish mane stepped forward in front of her blue sister, saying, "Hail, I am Princess Celestia. And this is my sister, Princess Luna. We are grateful for the help that you gave us with that timber wolf."

I floated forward, startling them, and said, "I am Kami, God of the Patapon tribe. I'm happy to help, but what are two Princesses doing out here?" They seemed shaken for some reason, I don't know if it was because of my god status or for some other reason.

Luna shied behind her sister as Celestia said, "We were driven from our home by the spirit of chaos, Discord. But may I ask why a god is speaking to us?"

I replied,"Because my tribe is still weak. And they don't know how to deal with strangers." She looked unsatisfied with this answer, but let it drop.

"Well, I would be grateful if you would grant us a safe place to sleep tonight. The Everfree might be the only place that we are safe from discord, but it's not safe by any measure."

I thought about this for a moment, before saying, "Fine, but you have to answer my questions about this land."

She reposed with, "A question for a question then?"

I sighed, before saying, "Fine, but let me tell you our history first. They need to hear it as well. Let's gather around Mater." She asked,"Mater?"

I sighed again, saying, "The glowing tree." She nodded before walking toward Mater with her sister staying almost on top of her.

Meden, who had come out from hiding by now, asked me, "Are you sure that we should trust them?"

I said,"We need information, and they are our only current source of it." She still looked uncertain, but didn't vocalize her misgivings.

We all gathered around the tree, and I began."The Patapon tribe has its roots in many mighty hero's, who could slay any dragon, serpent, daemon, or god. They all came from the mighty tree Mater, the namesake of the one we all gather around now. They could not be stopped in their search for Earthend, where they could stair upon IT and gain eternal bliss." I started to improvise, making the history up. "But one day, we found a cave which lead to the heart of our world. We went to it and took the heart. But as we started for the surface, the world began to die. The rock around my warriors collapsed, and soon after the world ceased to exist. I was cast into the void, losing all of the drums but one. But somehow, I came here. I replanted Mater, and reestablished the tribe. And so we all sit here now." They all seemed stunned, except for Luna. She stared up at me, eyes sparkling.

She asked, "Is it all true?" I smiled at her, and lied,

"Yes, yes it is."

She asked, "Could I join th-" Celestia interrupted her little sister.

"I'm sorry. She doesn't know anything about the world yet. Thank you for the story. Now, could I ask you some questions?"

I nodded at her, and said, "Just ask. And Meden?" She looked up at me, "Please escort Luna to a good place to sleep."

"Yes, Kami."

She motioned luna to follow her as I said, "And the rest of you can go now." They got the hint, and dispersed.

I then said, "Now, a question for a question?" She nodded. "I will go first, since I already told you something."

"Fine." I began.

"Who is Discord?"

She snarled at his name."A very evil creature. He is the incarnation of chaos, And spreads it across the land at every opportunity. He was apposed by our parents, Queen Faust and King Dominus. But he has managed to gain enough power to overwhelm our defenses. Now he is making the land sick with his chaos. Now it's my turn to ask. What is IT?" I shrugged.

"No one knows what IT is. We just know that it rests at Earthend, and that who ever looks upon it gains eternal bliss. My turn. What are you?"

"I am an Alicorn. We become the Avatar of something when we reach adulthood. But until then, we cant even use unicorn magic. We can fly though. Now, how do you know that Earthend exists?"

"How do you know that the sun will rise in the morning? It's like that. Now, what is this place?"

"The Everfree. it is a place that can never be tamed, even by chaos. It has an immunity to all magics that exist. Any attempts to cut it down have resulted in the deaths of all involved. What is your tribe capable of?"

"You heard my story. We will regain all of our capability's. But I will tell you in more detail. There is the Yaripon. A spear thrower who's spear can split stone. Tatepon, a warrior who can take the brunt of an enemy assault, and dish out damage
them with his sword. Yumipon, an archer who can rain down death upon the enemy. Kibapon, who rides a horse, and who's charge can destroy any enemy line or defense. Dekapon, a brute who's club can smash through anything. Megapon, who's music takes pysical form to crush the enemy. Robopon, who's robotic arms can devastate anything. Toripon, who rides on a giant bird to throw spears to split the enemy. Mahopon, who can take different staffs to do different magic effects including healing, explosions, fireballs, summoning thunderstorms, bringing meteors to earth, and more. And occasionally, there will be one who can take any class and use it to even more effect than those born to it. This last kind is called a Hero, and is the strongest of us all."

She seemed skeptical about this, and asked, "Then why are you not taking over the world right now?"

"Because we are not even close to quarter strength yet. But we will become stronger with time. Now I get to ask two questions. Are there other races, and if so, what are they?"

"Yes, there are. There are the Earthponys who grow food and tend to the earth. Then there are the pegasi, who make weather and tend to the sky. Then there are Unicorns, who act as nobles and manage their domains. There are also Alicorns, who rule our nation. Then there are the gryphons to the north. The Seaponys are barely worth mentioning, because they have no nation. There are the Zebra, though they are barely better then the Seaponys. Then there are the Dragons, each of which are part of a clan with the power of a normal nation. Then there are the Diamond Dogs, ruled by Warlords in their tunnels. Then there are the Changelings, who harvest love to feed their hive. Then there is the extremely reclusive Deer, who live on their archipelago and are ruled by their Emperor. If there are any more, I do not know of them."

I nodded at this, And said, "Well, I think it's time for us to go to sleep. You go find a good place to sleep." She nodded, seeming a little disappointed, and walked away. I sat there and thought, before trying to sleep.

Pata pata patta!

I was trying to sleep, but apparently I couldn't anymore. I just got very bored in the trying. I sighed, and started floating around. Then, I heard muffled crying. I drifted closer to it, making sure not to be seen. What I saw was heartwarming. Celestia had her wing over Luna, who was crying. I could see that Celestia was trying to be strong, but she was barely able to hold her tears back.

"I miss Mommy and Daddy." Sniffled Luna.

Celestia replied, "I do too, Lulu. We will find them. They wouldn't let Discord destroy them." I smiled as I withdrew, giving them their privacy. Nothing else happened that night, so I spent most of it no-clipping though trees. Will that ever stop being fun?

That morning, my tribe found out about mornings. "Mhmmmmm, a little longer?" Asked Meden.

"No, we need to work today. And that means gathering enough materials to make another Yaripon."

Meden yawned as she said, "But I don't want to..."

I sighed as I said, "Well, too bad. We need more fighters. Once we're strong, you can take a break. Anyway, we need to hunt for food pretty soon."

"Fine." Meden said as she slowly rose from her spot.

"Now," I added, "You get the others up as well." She smiled at this. Misery likes company, after all.

I floated over to Luna and Celestia, and told them, "Get up, you two. If your going to stay here, you need to work." Luna slept through this.

But Celestia opened an eye, said, "No." and promptly shut it again.

I drifted over to Meden, who had just gotten Hatapon up, and told her, "Get those two up next, alright?" She nodded, an evil gleam in her eye. I quickly left, but heard incredulous cry's as Meden got them up. A little while later, I had them all gather around Mater. I ignored all the evil eye's directed toward Meden, who looked quit pleased with herself.

"Meden, Hatapon, Luna, and Celestia, you gather materials and make hats." I saw Luna's and Celestia's incredulous looks, and added, "Hat's are required to make new Patapons. And Yaripon, you hunt for meat. As much as you can get. Just don't anger anything you're not sure you can beat." The Yaripon nodded, and started heading into the forest. "The rest of you, get to work!" They all grumbled as they started.

That is, except for Luna. She seemed excited, the only damper on her mood was being awake so early in the morning. She was adorable as she ran around, finding the materials needed. And even more adorable as she tried to make hats. I say tried because they always fell apart after she was done.

Celestia was doing a little better. As in, she made one working hat by the time that we were done. But soon enough, Yaripon came back carrying a few rabbits. I noticed that as soon as she saw the dead rabbits, Celestia covered Luna's eye's. Understandable, I guess. A normal, human girl would have burst out crying. Who knows what a herbivore would do. As it was, I could see Celestia's disapproval.

I heard Luna say, "Stop it! I wana see!"

But Celestia just said, "No you don't." Luna whined a bit more, but Celestia didn't relent.

"Yaripon," I said, "Please put those where our guests can't see them." He complied. This Patapon seemed very quiet and obedient. Might just be a solder thing.

Then, I started hearing something. A kind of gentle didgeridoo accompanied by a drum. The drum sounded like the Pata drum.

"I need to go check on something. I should be back soon. You guy's know how to do this." I stared floating away before they could ask any questions. It was a game of hot and cold, but I was soon there. I floated in front of an entrance to a cave, with the sound emerging almost overwhelming. I floated inside, to see two things. One was a tree that seemed like it could be a relation of Mater, the other thing was the Pata drum. The Pata drum was in front of the tree. Something seemed off, like the tree was apposing the drum in some way, but I ignored it. I floated over to the drum, that's when the pain started.

The light coming off of the tree started burning me, and I recoiled at once. I noticed that the light was growing brighter and brighter, and as it was doing so, the drum was getting fainter and fainter. I risked the pain, and dashed in. I grabbed the drum, screaming, and dashed out. The light then dimmed, and I just stayed where I was. Little wisps of my burned essence curling off of me. Then drum receded into me, and I could feel it like I could feel the Pon drum.

I started heading back after that. I arrived soon to see that there were two new Yaripon's. This brought the total to three fighters. Meden noticed me first and rushed over to me. She asked, "Where were you?"

The others gathered around as I said, "I was investigating a strange noise that sounded like one of the drums. Long story short, I found the Pata drum."

Meden gaped and asked, "May we hear?" I nodded and pounded it four times.

"Pata pata pata pata." All of the Patapon's nodded their heads to the beat. Luna noticed it on the second beat and copied them.

Celestia came up to me and asked, "What's the importance of the drums, anyway?"

I though about it for a second, before saying, "The drums are used to issue commands to the Patapon army in battle. But not only that. They each represent different things, and each command makes the Patapon army better than it would normally be."

She asked, "What do they represent?"

"The Pon drum represents courage, the Pata drum represents power, the Chika drum represents wisdom, and the Don drum represents Miracle."

"Miracle seems a little out of place..."

I shrugged and said, "Well, it let's me preform miracle's." She looked at me a little sceptically.

I noticed that the sun had almost set before saying, "That's all for tonight! All of you, get to bed!" The two new Yaripon's looked a little put off by not being able to meet their god, and Luna seemed disappointed, but aside from those two things everyone went willingly enough. I settled in for a long sleepless night.

Author's Note

Well, here's the next chapter. I'm going for a chapter a week, although I have no idea if I'll be able to do that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next, but I have time to figure that out. I do know something for sure though. Luna's going to have big part in this. A huge part, in fact. So, any suggestions, comments, or if you just wana chat, put it down below.

A-hunting we will go

Note: I've put the drum beats in bold, and the Patapon's reply in italics. Just so you know.

The night was uneventful. No attacks, no strange noises, nothing. I had nothing to do but think. We would need a stable food supply soon, as the tribe would probably start getting hungry. Shelter would also be nice. Hunting would be first priority, but I should also see if we could get some sort of shelter started. But as it was, the sun couldn't rise soon enough.

As soon as the horizon started getting light, I decided that they had slept enough. I got Meden up, to much grumbling, and gave her the job of getting the others up and getting them to Mater. So a little while later, they were all there.

"Well, what's the plan for today Great One?" Asked Meden. She was ignoring the venomous glances that the others were giving her as she spoke.

"Simple," I said, "I will lead a hunting party while you guy's build shelter." Meden raised her hand. "Yes Meden?"

"How do we build a shelter?" I shrugged and said,

"I honestly don't know much about this kind of stuff. Just do your best, okay?" Meden slumped a bit before realizing something.

"Hey! Can I head this project?" I nodded.

"Sure, why not." Everyone else glared at Meden, but kept their peace. "I will lead a hunt. We will need food soon." Celestia objected at this.

"Why do you kill to eat! It's barbaric!"

I glared at her, and said, "We are omnivores, that means we need both meat and plants to survive. Sapient creatures take priority over animals. I will not let my tribe die just because I got squeamish." She glared at me.

"You probably use that as an excuse! No civilized creature needs to eat meat! Diamond dogs are reduced by their blood lust, the Gryphons are Barbarians because of their need to kill, the Dragons are Tribal because they eat meat! In every case the meat eaters are barbarians ruled by their instincts with only the vaguest veil of civilization!" By the time Celestia finished this, Luna was hiding behind a Yaripon, I was giving her the evil eye, and the Tribe was about ready to lynch her. I spoke softly.

"Do not judge people on what they are. Remember, we saved you and have kept you safe since then. What right do you have to judge us?" She glowered at me.

"I will stay quiet for now, but I wont bow to your 'needs'." I sighed.

"I probably can't ask for more than that. Now, let's get started on our tasks." With that, the noncombat part of tribe dispersed to to their tasks. the entire tribe was giving Celestia the evil eye, though. And Luna was clinging closely to Meden, seeming scared at her sisters tirade. There were the three Yaripon's and Hatapon left in front of me. "Well," I said, " let's go hunting."

We came back dragging a manticore corpse.

"I wish we had a cart." one of the Yaripons grumbled.

'I'll add it to the list." I said cheerfully. We would be eating well tonight. As we approached Mater, I noticed their attempts at shelter. There were sticks and leaves everywhere, there were holes in the ground that looked half dug, and tree's that were now tilted at an odd angle. Meden noticed our approach first.

She ran over to us, saying, "How did the hunt go, great one?"

"Well, I'll skip the part before we encountered the manticore, but..." I began to recount the tale.

I noticed it first, as I was in front. There was a snoring sound coming from ahead of our group. I started pounding the drums.

"Pata pata pata pon!" They echoed it back as we marched forward.

"Pata pata pata pon!" I drummed again.

"Pata pata pata pon!"

"Pata pata pata pon!" I then saw it. It was a huge bat-lion-scorpion thing. It was stirring from the drumming, so I decided to attack prematurely.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!"The Yaripon's hurled their spears at the thing, waking it up and ticking it off. It roared, but that had no effect on the Yaripon's.

"Pon pon pata pon!" I heard a sort of 'ching' then, and the Yaripon's yelled in harmony.

"FEVER!" The Yaripons jumped and hurled their spears at the thing quite a bit more more forcefully than before. The thing retaliated by thrusting its barbed tail at one of them. The Yaripon was knocked back, but wasn't impaled like I would expect by such a strike. I saw hat he was only bleeding slightly as he got up in time to catch my next beat.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" They hurled spears from a jump again, and we got lucky. One of the spears caught the things head, and it toppled over. I stopped, and they let out a disappointed sigh. Now we had food, but we needed to get it back.

And we dragged that big thing all the way back.

I then saw that Celestia was dragging Luna away, speaking around a mouthful of Luna's fer as she said, "No Luna, you shouldn't see this!"

Luna resisted as she yelled, "But I want to see! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase Tia!"

Celestia shook her head as she said, "No Luna! It's horrifying!"

Luna protested, "No it's not!" This went on for a little while, nether of them gaining any ground. The Tribe just ignored them as I thought about interfering. I finally decided that it wouldn't be worth it and floated towards Mater.

I touched Mater, and looked at the possible Patapon's. I nearly face palmed as I noticed civilian variants. Builders, lumberjacks, wood crafters and more. Getting some of these would make things much easier.

"Meden!" I yelled.

"Yes, great one?" I heard.

"Get me a hat, a stone, and a stick."

"Alright, great one." She brought it over quickly. She glanced to the disturbed earth at Mater's roots, and said. "I'm not doing that again."

"You will." I said. She harrumphed, but started doing as I asked. Soon enough, Mater shone, and a new Patapon was born. It was a variant that was labeled a Shaberupon. It had a shovel, and would make digging much faster.

"Get him ready to dig at Maters root's, alright?" I asked Meden. She nodded, looking overjoyed as she ran to the new Patapon. I then noticed that the sun was getting low in the sky, but I wanted a fire to cook the lion-bat-scorpion thing over. So I touched Mater again, and looked for a Patapon that would be appropriate. I found the Kasaipon, who does everything fire related. I called to Meden again.

"Meden, could you please get me a hat, the largest stick that you can get, and two smaller sticks." She looked annoyed at being interrupted, but complied. Soon, I had the Kasaipon maintaining a fire and the Yaripon's dragging the raw meat to the fire. But I noticed a distinct lack of our guests, so I left my Patapon's to it.

I found Luna trying to get away from her sister, saying, "But Tia, I want to see what they're doing!"

"No you don't Lulu. Just stay over here."

"But Tiiiaaaaaa!" Celestia snapped.

"NO LUNA!" She calmed down a little, saying. "You shouldn't see what those barbarians are doing! They're cooking meat to eat!"

"Why are you such a meany! They already told us why! Saying something like that is like saying..... I don't know, but I don't like how your treating them!" Celestia seemed to growl a little as Luna said that.

"Why are you being such an Idiot!"

"Why are you being such a meany!" They just stood there for a moment, glaring at each other. I didn't want to get involved, so I backed away before they could spot me. I went back to the campfire, and saw to my amusement that they were roasting bits of the scorpion-bat-lion thing over the fire like marshmallows.

I spoke up. "Once you eat your fill, go to sleep. You guy's need all the rest you can get for tomorrow." They all jumped up and spun to face me. One even dropped his food into the fire.

Meden stepped forward and said, "As you wish, great one." We just stood there for a moment before I got the fact that I was not welcome in their companionship. So I just drifted off into the forest. I was careful not to stray too far though. I mostly just wandered until I heard the ironically loud noise of people going to bed. But even then I just watched from a distance. I didn't want to disturb the warm companionship that was growing in the tribe. I was starting to understand what it meant to be a god. I stayed like that the rest of the night, paralyzed mentally in my own solitude.

Author's Note

Well, it's done. Sorry for it being late. I feel bad right now. I feel that I should have written 2000 words to make up for the two, almost three, day's that it's late. But on to other matters! I might have to add the Slice of Life tag soon at the rate I'm going. And I generally dislike reading Slice of Life fics. I have enough of real life as it is.

Also, any suggestions on how to improve my writing would be appreciated, as would any constructive criticism about my story in general. So anything like that, or if you just want to chat, (Hey, that rhymed!) put it down below.

Harmony, Discord, and everything inbetween.

I got bored with the way I was writing it, so I'm going to skip forward a little. If enough of you want me to go back and flesh it out a little more, I will. But I want to get to the good stuff soon.

A month since I came to this world. Luna has been able to circumvent Celestia to join us around the campfire occasionally, and has become quite popular in the Tribe. Celestia has become reclusive, and has recently begun wandering around the forest in hopes of finding something. I don't think even she knows what she's looking for.

The Tribe has grown quite a bit. We have made permanent housing that looks like a cross between a longhouse and barracks. We even have a stage on which two performers, Odorupons named Dani and Kishi, preform whenever there is something to celebrate.

I have ten Yaripon's, ten Tatepon's, and ten Yumipon's ready to fight at a moments notice. The possibility for me to go past the games limit's surprised me a little, but I found out that I was now limited by the amount of Patapons I could support. That just about sums up everything to date. But two things that would happen this day would change the course of events for the worse for us.

Celestia's POV

I had snuck away from the camp, as I couldn't stand it there. The stench of death permeated that place, and worse, it was tainting my sister. I couldn't stop her, but I could still save myself at least. Today I was determined to not go back to that camp. So I set out before Meden could wake up. Their false god was nowhere in sight ether. So I walked and walked farther and farther into the forest.

I walked for a good hour before nearing the edge of a ravine. I was about to turn back when I heard something. It was a small kind of noise, but it sounded pure to my ears. Kind of like a bell with a lilt. I could tell that the noise originated in the ravine. That's when I saw the glint of light coming form a cave in the ravine. That decided it. I couldn't fly yet, but I could still glide. So I unfurled my wings and flew down to the bottom. Soon I was at the cave's mouth, and what I saw made my jaw drop.

I saw the most beautiful tree. Mater was nothing compared to this. I began to approach the tree, and as I did, I felt something touch my mind. I flinched back, and the presence retreated. I cautiously stepped forward again and felt it touch me again. This time I didn't flinch. Then I felt something pass between me and the strange consciousness that must have been the tree's. Not so much words as feelings. I felt comforted, and invited closer. I came closer and the tree's presence grew stronger in me.

Then, I was given knowledge about the tree and it's mission. It was the representation of pure harmony in this world, and it was put here to try and bring equilibrium to this young world. It's plans were disrupted by the Patapon Tribe coming, however. It needed something new to combat the tribe, as war was the polar opposite of harmony. The Patapons would never stop waging war as long as they didn't find Earthend. The Tree couldn't let them find Earthend though. It didn't tell me why not, but it felt very strongly against them finding it. And then I reached the big part of what it was telling me. It wanted me to become its champion. That's when I asked a question.

"But, why me?" I felt the answer immediately. I was an unaligned Alicorn, and with my acceptance of the mission, I would become the strongest manifestation of harmony, no wait, I misunderstood the undertones at first, Harmony in this world. Even outshining the tree. It would then add itself to myself, and then Harmony would never be able to fall.

"Add yourself to me? I don't understand." I whimpered. It sent soothing feelings to me and I calmed down. It then explained that we would live in the same body, and would thus be able to serve Harmony then ether of us could do alone.

"What is Harmony?" The word nearly got stuck in my mouth, and my body shivered slightly at the power of it. The Tree explained that Harmony was the greatest good in this world, and all others beside. Countless world had already come to Harmony, and all were happy there. Many had resisted at first, but Harmony prevailed due to it being good on every level. Upon hearing the answer to this question, I made my choice. The Tree felt it and it fed me the words to say.

"I, Celestia, fully and completely surrender myself to Harmony, and will bring as many into its fold as I can before I breath my final breath." As soon as I finished speaking, my mind was overtaken by bright light. I was blinded and my body became warm with Harmony's light. I became one with Harmony.

Third person POV

Discord was happily playing with his kingdom. He had just made a new kind of cloud that made chocolate milk! He was drinking of the fruit of his labors as he suddenly felt a disturbance somewhere in the distance.

"Hm? What's that?" He clicked his fingers and made a metal banana in a flash of light. He then peeled it and took a scroll out of it. Scooby-Doo was playing on it. He muttered something and the 'channel' changed and he saw Celestia's transformation.

"Well well, what do we have here? Little Celly's growing up so fast!" He snuffled and little of snot ran down his face, then promptly turned into gummy worms. He plucked them off his face, and ate them.

"Mmmm! Mushroom flavored, my favorite! But back to business. This will mean trouble. But how did she survive the forest? That place should have torn her apart! Magic mirror on the wall, who's stopped Celly from dropping the ball?" The scroll then turned black and the words 'I'm not a mirror baka' scrolled down it, followed by the Starwars episode 1 intro.

"Bah!" He threw the scroll over his shoulder, after which it turned into a pigeon. In fact, that pigeon lived happily for many years until, in it's naivete, it tried to make friends with a hawk. But I digress. Discord whipped a remote control out of his mouth and clicked it at thin air. A huge flat screen T.V. appeared and showed him the tribes camp.

"Ah! So that's how she survived. Now, what ARE they?" He opened the remote and pulled a book the size of the encyclopedia britannica complete edition out of it. It didn't have a name, but Discord didn't seem to care. He just flipped through it until he found the entree he was looking for.

"Aha! Patapon! I'm going to have fun with this!"

Author's Note

I feel horrible... I haven't posted anything for WEEKS, and this chapter is just about a thousand words. Well, I'll try to do better next time. Anyway, what was your favorite part of the chapter? I'm trying to figure out what I should concentrate on. Anyway, till next time!

The drums of war beat

I'm going to switch this story into third person, at least for now.

Discord was making cookie dough, at least that's what it looked like.

"Hmm, should I add a little bit of a hive mind element? Nah. Anarchy? Not in the mood. Religious hierarchy? I don't want to copy the idea ENTIRELY." As he was saying this, jars appeared and dispersed around him. He then found the one he wanted.

"Ahah! Of course! Monarchy! That'll do nicely!" He then blinks out in a flash of bright light, only to reappear riding a wild mixer

"Now that I have all the parts, now it's time to make them!" The mixers beaters then became four fingered hands, which then shaped the dough into the shape of a Patapon with an eye the shape of a sideways trapezoid. Discord then hopped of, to which the mixer fled. He then started swinging the dough thing around, and let go. Instead of flying off, however, it circled around him. He then started adding the final details. When he was done, he grabbed it. He then snapped his fingers and a campfire appeared, along with a marshmallow roasting stick. He grabbed the stick, and stabbed the dough thing with it. He then started cooking it over the fire, whistling something that shouldn't be able to be whistled. He closed his eyes, however, and didn't notice the figure elongating slightly. Before long, it was an oval, not a circle. But not long after that, an alarm went off, and Discord dropped the stick. The campfire then imploded into the shape, and it came to life.

"Who am I?" It wondered. Discord flashed briefly, and then had a military suit on. It was a jungle green and eye blinding pink plaid.

"You are Durak, my assistant in ruling the new nation of Discopolus!" The newly dubbed Durak looked confused.

"I am?"

"Yes you are. Now, make me an army." Durak seemed sad.

"How? I don't know what to do!" Discord patted Durak on the back.

"Here' I'll help you for the first few ones." He then got out a huge pot, and put a witches hat on that was the same color as his uniform.

"Oh, almost forgot! Here's your uniform!" Discord snapped his fingers, and Durak then had a uniform the same color as Discords on.

"Now let's get cooking!"

Celestia stood up. She had changed into an adult being of angelic wonder. Her cutie mark was of a path made of radiant crystal. She smiled as she looked at the tree.

"Thank you, my friend. Now I'm ready." She stepped forward and touched her horn to the tree. The tree started withering as Celestia grew in power, and as her cutie mark changed sightly. Now the path was marked with the symbol's of the Elements of Harmony. She then turned to the exit and walked to it. She arrived outside and took flight. She flew to where Harmony directed her to go. A mountain in the center of the continent. She scowled at the chaotic nature of the place, but she knew that she could only do this once. So she needed to make it count. She landed on the top of the mountain, and started to channel her magic into it. The mountain then started turning into crystal, starting from the top and going down to the bottom. Once the mountain was crystal, and Celestia was sweating, she used the magic in the mountain to shape it. The mountain's top then became a spire reaching to the sky. The spire swallowed her up as it rose making a throne room, and making a throne under her. The rest spire then was hollowed, and rooms were made. Then a gate was formed in the base of the mountain, and the two places were connected. She also made barracks that lined the path from the gate to the spire. Celestia then slumped in the throne, emptied of all of her energy.

"I am glad to be the conduct of Harmony in this world." And with that, she fell asleep.

Kami felt the world changing as Celestia became one with Harmony. He immediately became worried.

"Meden." Meden was standing beside him, and turned to him as he spoke.

"Yes, Great One?" Meden had become much more mature in that month, and Kami was grateful for that.

"Gather the tribe. Something's wrong." Meden bowed.

"Yes great one. At once." Kami waited as the tribe was gathered in front of Mater. When they were all gathered, he floated in front of Mater. Meden walked up beside him. He waited a second for the whispers to die down before speaking.

"You all must be wondering why I have gathered you all here." To this there was much nodding. "It's because somethings happened. I don't know what yet, but it's not good." At this exclamations broke out. "We need to be vigilant. We will NOT be unprepared!" Some cheers broke out. "Now, we prepare to MARCH!" Much louder cheers were shouted out. Kami then whispered to Meden.

"Get everyone ready, got it?" Meden nodded.

"Yes, Great One." Meden then began to direct every one to their places. The warriors of the tribe stayed before Kami, waiting orders. After the rest of the tribe were going to their places, Kami spoke.

"Now my warriors, we need to find what's wrong with the world. FOLLOW ME!" he began moving his troops in the direction he felt the change coming from.

Discord giggled as he watched the pots working. Durak was standing beside him, grateful to not be manning a pot anymore. There were many Patapon spinoffs, which Discord had dubbed Discons, working the new pots. New Discons were popping out every minute, and each one has a slightly different look.

"This is going to be so good!" Discord practically squeed.

"Yes sir." Durack said, trying not to attract his ire. He had seen what Discord would do to the disobedient recently. The worst part was when the dissenter was turned back into dough, and put back in one of the pots. Durak had noticed that the next few Discons to come out of that pot had different attributes of that same Discon. Durak flinched as Discord yawned.

"Well, it's time for me to get my sleep. Good night, Durak."

"Good night, sir." Durak breathed a sigh of relief as Discord disappeared. Only to stiffen as a miniature Discord with a sleeping bag appeared on his head. Discord then settled down for the night. Durak could only curse his fate.

Author's Note

Well, I haven't gotten a chapter out recently. Sorry about that. School, Monster Hunter, family, and so many other factors have taken my time. But still, do you have any suggestions for the story, life, or Monster Hunter? If so, tell me below.

To war we go

The tribe stood at the edge of the forest. The land beyond the forest was more chaotic than Alice in Wonderland by a long shot. Beyond this, however, a Palace of crystal stood. Around the castle, the chaos was being slowly pushed back. The tribe looked for a moment at this view. It was startling to the Patapons especially, because they had never been beyond the forest before. Kami recovered first, and began to beet the drums.

"Pata pata pata pon!" The tribe replied.

"Pata pata pata pon!"

Discord looked up from his claw, which he was trimming with a fish. A notice was hanging in the air.

Kami would like to battle!

"Durak, could you please lead the troops to battle? I'll be along in a minute." Durak was trying to not be noticed, and was startled by Discord speaking to him.

"M-master? Why aren't you coming?" A flash happened, and when it faded Discord was sitting in front of a vanity mirror. He was applying makeup to his face.

"I need a minute to prepare, alright dear?"

"Yes, master." Durak then walked as quickly as he dared. A strange sensation started in Durak's head then, and all the other Discons stiffened.

Discord called to Durak. "Just think what you want them to do, and they'll do it!" Durak nodded, but discord wasn't done giving advise yet.

"And remember, the safe word is BANANA!" Discord then whispered to thin air.

"I may have slipped a little hive mind in after all, but what do you expect?"

They were continuing through the chaotic lands, with a steady rhythm.

"Pata pata pata pon!"

"Pata pata pata pon!"

Kami nearly missed a beat when he spotted the force of the horizon. His forces were outnumbered three to one. But the enemy seemed disorganized, and had no equipment. He quickly made his decision. He waited until the enemy were in striking distance.

"Pon pon pata pon!" The Tribe roared as they charged at the enemy.

"Pon pon pata pon!" Spears flew overhead and some skewered the enemy. They apparently weren't as resilient as a Patapon, because those who were skewered began to devolve into dough as they continued charging.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" The lines clashed then, and a few Patapons were dog piled by the enemy. But the Patapons that stayed up began to reek havoc on the enemy. And even those who were under the piles of Discons weren't quite down for the count quite yet. This was attested to by the piles of enemy's having dough start bubbling out. And the Yaripons hurled more spears at the enemy, getting more of them.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" One of the Discons had an idea, and grabbed a spear out of one of his ally's before it could be recalled, and stabbed it into a Tatepon one instant before it vanished. The Tatepon in question was not lethally wounded, but was weakened as arms started drooping slightly. The rest of the battle continued normally , but that wouldn't last long as the new idea spread though the Discon hivemind.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" Some Discons were able to stab the Patapons that were dog piled with spears thrown by Yaripons. But the Discon numbers were reduced by one third, as they were poorly made and meant to swarm.

"Pon pon pata pon!" Kami spotted who he assumed to be their commander. He could tell, as the supposed commander was staying a little way's away from the fighting. He shouted out in the next measure.

"Make your way to that one over there!" He pointed at Durak.

"Pon pon pata pon!" The free Patapons rushed toward Durak, and Durak started to run. The other Discons attempted to intercept the Patapons. Discord appeared in a flash just as Kami began to beat his drums again.

"So, Durak, why are you retreating?"

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Just look at them master!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" One of the Yaripons hurled a spear at Durak when Discord turned his head. It flew wide. But it did, however, hit Discord right in the mouth. Discord recoiled as one of his fangs flew out of his mouth. One of the Tatepons ran and collected Discords fang as Discord was doubled over in pain. Discord threw one baleful look at Kami, then snapped his fingers. Both Discord and all of the Discons vanished in a flash of light.

The Patapons all broke out cheering as Kami stopped drumming. They had won! Hatapon came over then and gave a report.

"Great one! Only two Patapons have perished!" I nodded.

"We will resurrect them when we get back. For now, collect their hats." Hatapon nodded and went to gather the headgear of the fallen. I nodded happily. I was doing well so far.

Luna was sneaking around, trying to not be noticed by the task master known as Meden. She stealthily dodged behind the barracks, and removed a well made mat made from still living grass. Under the mat was a hole containing a hat. Not just any hat, but a Patapon hat.

"Now, how to do this..." She whispered. She needed some way to bind the hat to herself so that it would be HER hat. The only problem was how to do that. An idea struck her. She quickly grabbed a small stone, and chipped a piece off of her horn. She whimpered as she did this, but she was resolute in her want of this. She next plucked a feather from her wing, and chipped a piece off of her hoof. All the parts were painful, but she immediately began weaving the parts of herself into the hat. When she was done, she put the hat in the hole and covered it again.

"Soon" She happily whispered.

Author's Note

Well, done at last. Sorry for taking so long. School, homework, monster hunter, Patapon 3, warframe, don't starve together, and reading has ensured its lateness. But it's done now. And what WILL I do with Discords tooth? Something interesting, that's what. Anyway, criticism, suggestions, or just want to chat, chuck it below. (Oh yes! And thanks to Flutter is Shy for editing!)

The after party

Kami lead his army back into the camp. The civilian Patapons were cheering for them as they gathered around Mater. Kami even smiled as he spied Luna trying to bounce high enough to see them over the crowd.

"My fellow tribesmen, today we have earned a great victory!" Their cheering reached its peak before it quieted.

"We have even struck off Discords tooth!" Hatapon walked forward and held the tooth for all to see. He seemed to glow as their cheering washed over them.

"And now, it is time to celebrate!" The ranks broke as the Tribe congregated around the fire that Kasaipon zealously tended to. The Odorupons also began to dance on the stage, and background music immediately broke out.

Later that day, no one noticed luna as she snuck towards Mater and the still open hole next to it. She was holding her hat. She dodged behind Mater as the digger looked her way. She then waited until she heard two plopping sounds. She then tossed a pebble toward the forest, causing the digger's eye to drift toward the sound. Taking advantage of this, Luna tossed her hat into the hole. It fell in without any problems as the digger's eye redirected toward his work. Luna relaxed as the sounds of dirt being moved drifted into her ears. But as the digger finished and walked back to the party, Luna doubled over in pain.

It wasn't physical pain, but a wrenching of the spirit. She managed to get back up, and started stumbling to the barracks. But as she went, Kami noticed her. He drifted over.

"Are you alright, Luna?" He asked in a concerned tone. She managed to plaster a fake smile onto her face.

"Just a stomach ache." He looked at her, unconvinced.

"Alright then. But if you need me, just ask a Patapon to get me." He then drifted back to the party. Luna managed to get to the barracks without further inquiry.

Meanwhile, Kami was sitting on a makeshift throne that was in the middle of the party. The tribe seemed content and could relax better when he was in a position like this. He didn't quite understand why, though. He turned to Meden, who was standing at the side of his throne.

"Meden, have the Patapons that died been revived yet?" She replied quickly.

"Their hats have been buried, but they have not joined the party yet." He got up and began drifting to Mater. Meden followed him this time. When he went to ask Luna about her condition he had told Meden to stay behind. His mind drifted temporarily as he neared Mater. He arrived quickly, and touched it. What it told him was confusing. Apparently, there were three Patapons being revived. While strange in itself, what was really strange was that the first one in line to be revived was apparently still alive.

"Meden, has anyone lost their hats?"

"Not that I know, great one." He examined the essence of the Patapon being revived. It took a moment before his eyes widened.

"Meden, please get Luna here now." She nodded.

"At once." She left to get Luna.

"Luna, what have you done this time?" He asked the air.

Harmony watched the world through the harmonized land. It was in the Crystal Palace, in the grass that now had a slight crystalline sheen to it, inside everything withinn its domain. It was aware as ponies crossed the border. They were not aware as Harmony began to seep into them. It came in through their hope, their joy, and through their loving hearts. And as it did so, it woke Celestia. It told her of the new immigrants, and it told her to take command of them. It watched through her eyes, saw through her ears, and similarly perceived the world through her senses. It watched her admire her handiwork as she flew through a newly formed window. The window sealed itself as she flew out of the Palace, as not to risk any intruders.

Celestia soon landed near a group of ponies. They tensed, but then relaxed as Harmony exerted its already considerable control over them. Celestia began to speak.

"Hello, my little ponies. I am Celestia, the Conduct of Harmony." All the ponies shivered as she said Harmony. " You're welcome in these lands as long as you let Harmony into your hearts." A pony stepped forward.

"What is this Harmony?" He nearly couldn't form the word Harmony for some reason, and he felt energy in the word. Celestia smiled at him.

"Just merely say the words, 'Harmony, I allow you into me', and you will know." He looked puzzled, but he said the words.

"Harmony, I allow you into me." His eyes widened as he felt himself being swallowed in the will of Harmony. His coat took on a slight crystalline sheen as he became a part of Harmony. He then smiled, and turned to his fellow refugees.

"Rejoice! For we have Harmony now! Just say the words 'Harmony, I allow you into me', and you will know peace and happiness!" Nearly all of the ponies there said it. Some looked skeptical, but that dissolved as they were swallowed in Harmony. The new converts quickly got the remainder to say it. Harmony quickly organized them, and set them to building a town around the Palace. Harmony might eventually get enough power to make entire planets out of nothing, but currently in this universe, it was still weak. But, with every meter harmonized and with every heart turned, it grew stronger.

Discord fumed in his throne. Every Discon cowered in front of him. Then, he snapped his fingers. Every Discon except Durak dissolved into dough. Durak cowered even lower at this event. Discord then got up and picked Durak up.

"I'll need to remake you, Durak. It'll be painful, but I think you deserve it."

"P-please master! Please don't hurt me." Durak pleaded. Discord ignored this as he snapped his fingers. A workshop appeared, and Discord took used a huge pin to pin Durak to the wall. Durak whimpered at this, but didn't complain other than that. Discord then began to use a can of baked beans to shape a huge block of wood. When he was finished, he held what looked like a wooden iron maiden made just for Durak. Durak's eye widened at this. He started screaming as Discord approached him, smiling happily.

Author's Note

Done so soon! I'm as surprised as you are! I was planning on sending my token out this chapter, but next time. And thanks to Flutter Is Shy for being my prereader! Still, suggestions, idea's, or just want to chat? Chuck it down below.

Plans and portals

Luna came in front of Kami, who was standing in front of Mater. Luna was being supported by a Tatepon, who was looking sympathetically at her.

"What did you do, Luna?" Kami asked. He had a calm front, but also had obvious undercurrents of anger in his tone. She responded quickly.

"I buried a hat connected to me by Maters roots. But I don't understand why you would be angry at me for this! I only wanted to be one of you." Kami sighed before speaking.

"Luna, you must see what this is to us. You have defiled the most sacred things to the tribe! Our literal source of life! I understand that you meant no harm, but this is going too far. I will have to assign a punishment." Luna looked startled, before tears began welling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Once you have been reborn, you will join our armed forces. This will be your punishment. Anything else would be too extreme considering whats happening to you right now." As if to emphasize this point, Luna doubled over, groaning. "Take her back to the barracks. I will talk with her more once she is reborn." The tatepon gently picked her up, carrying her to the barracks. Meden looked over at Kami.

"What will happen to her?" Kami looked sad as he replied.

"She will die in extreme amounts of pain tonight. Her spirit has to be ripped from her body, but the body wont let go. So, she will feel her body die. But then she will be reborn." Meden looked sad as well.

"Poor girl..." Kami only nodded.

Discord was pleased with his work. Durak was now a part of his wooden armor. The test was compete. Sure Durak was passed out, but that didn't mean anything. Right now, he needed to get some new equipment. So Discord snapped his fingers, causing the old vats to be replaced by tree's with gaping holes in their sides. He then took some of the dough that was still on the ground from his failed project, then used it to fertilize the trees. As he was doing this, Durak woke up.

"What happened?" He asked as he sat up slowly. Discord watched him grinning as he snapped his fingers. This made a mirror appear. Durak then screamed as he saw himself, and remembered what happened. Discord then began talking.

"You and the old Discons failed me last time, so I need newer and stronger solders." Durak nodded. Discord's expression darkened. "After all, YOU let THEM take my TOOTH!"

Just as Durak started whimpering, a 'ding' sounded from the tree Discord had fertilized. Discord then pointed over his shoulder.

"You initiate him." Durak only nodded and did as Discord said.

Luna died just before dawn. She didn't notice it, she had passed out before then from the pain. But she did vaguely notice her spirit being pulled into Maters roots. She began to regain consciousness when her spirit was condensed in the trunk, and woke up when her new body was ejected from Mater.

"Oww." She commented. She then remembered what had happened.

"I never want to go through that again." Kami entered her field of vision.

"Glad to hear it." This startled Luna, who jumped to her hooves.

"K-Kami!" He nodded at her.

"You should probably get acquainted with your new weapons and armor." She then noticed the somehow familiar weight of metal on her. She twisted her neck to see her new regalia. She now had black armor with dark blue accents. She also had a typical Patapon hat on her head. And across her back were two sheathed scimitars. She nodded dumbly as Kami chuckled slightly, and drifted off. She sat down, and tried to figure out how she was going to wield her scimitars. She tried grabbing them with her hooves first. No go there, she just fell over. She tried to grip them with her wings, but they couldn't get enough of a grip to even unsheathe them. She slumped to the ground, annoyed with her arrangement. She thought wistfully of them unsheathing themselves. She was surprised as a spark came from her horn. She let out a squeak as this happened. She tried again, and this time, a faint aura surrounded her horn. She stared in awe for a moment, before she became filled with excitement.

"YESSSSSS! I HAVE MAGIC!" Hatapon, who was passed out from last night near the campfire, heard this. He sat up, groaning.

"So Luna's back huh?" He said groggily. Everyone had heard her last night, but had pretended to ignore it. He yawned, and stood up. He started looking for his flag, and found it. He also saw that Discords tooth had somehow been placed his flag, and that his flag was leaning on a small rock. He didn't grasp the implications because of his grogginess. As he bent to pick it up, and to grab the tooth, he tripped.This caused the flag to act as a catapult for the tooth, which rocketed through the air until it hit a passing bird. This caused it to land a little ways from the barracks.

"DANG IT!" Hatapon screamed as he ran. As he arrived, and as Kami and other Patapons gathered around to see what was the matter, the Tooth of Discord budded. It then began growing into a sort of cave, as everyone stepped backwards. Kami was the first one to break the silence.

"What happened Hatapon?" Hatapon cringed as he told Kami what had happened. Kami just sighed, and stepped forward to touch the portal. He then knew what it was for. It was used to connect to other worlds beyond his own. But to do so, he would have to send out a 'token'. This would let others send a request for help. The connection between the two worlds would freeze, stopping time between the two worlds until he accepted or rejected the request. If he accepted, then it would bring all of his troops, and himself to the other world. If it was rejected, then nothing would happen.

"Well, might as well." Then he called, "Do we have any extra Drums?"

"Not any good ones. Let me get one." Meden said before running off, and returning with a badly made drum.

"Put it in front of the portal." Meden did so, and Kami began to beat his drums.

"Pata pon, Pata pon, Pata pon" And so on. As he did so, he began to speak and the drum began to glow.

"To those who beat the drums of war,
To those who face insurmountable odds,
Beat the sacred drum,
And I will help you conquer your foes!" Then the drum flashed, and became a white drum.

"Well, off you go." Meden then pushed the White Drum into the Portal. Just as he was about to turn away, the portal flashed. "Well, that was fast." He turned back and checked the Portal.

“My name is Wilson Percival Higgsbury, and I’m so dead right now you cannot begin to comprehend! Please please please PLEASE HELP ME!!!”

Kami thought for a second, before deciding.

"Meden, before we leave, can we make more troops?" She thought for a moment.

"We can make five more of each. Is that good enough?"

"Yes. Now get on it." He waited as more Patapons were made, and were given their roles in the army.

"Now let us be off!" the army cheered as they marched through the portal.

Author's Note

Well, next chapter is a CROSSOVER! I love those. Thanks to Flutter is Shy for prereading!

You can't starve with this many hounds around

Kami stepped out of the portal.

“That was unpleasant.” He commented as he looked around. He saw some guards, who promptly pointed their spears at him. This was not helped when Patapons began coming out of the portal behind him.

“So, who summoned us?” He asked.

Everypony, zebra and dragon pointed at the human, who trembled with his hand raised. The human, presumably Wilson, had a large mess of hair that vaguely looked like a W, and had a small beard on his face. His clothing was a mess, parts were ripped apart, but they looked like they had been fancy once. He also had the sacred white drum on his lap.

*GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *SNORT*

“I assume that whatever’s barking are the things you want me to kill?” Kami deadpanned.

“Uh huh...” Wilson replied simply, clearly stunned by Kami’s sudden appearance.

“Could you please tell me what we’re going to fight?”

“...hounds...” He muttered helpfully. Kami facepalmed.

“Let’s go then.” Kami started beating his drums. The sound this made seemed to come out of thin air, as the drums were technically in a different plane of existence.

*Pata pata pata pon* The Patapons, who were getting kinda cramped at this point, began marching to the door, replying,

“Pata pata pata pon!”

Wilson, shaking his head, spoke “You don’t understand, there are a lot of hounds!” Kami smiled at him.

“Dogs can’t beat us, my friend.” He said, beating the drums once more.

*Pata pata pata pon*

“Pata pata pata pon!” Luna then came out of the portal, seeming exited and following the beat. As she went past the other ponies, she waved.

“Hello!” She said adorably.

“Uh, hi?” Said one of the pony guards, too confused at this point to make sense out of anything.

She smiled and followed the other Patapons out the door. Kami then spoke up.

“Well, I’m going outside. Don’t get in my army’s way PLEASE.” He then fazed through the wall next to the door.

“Hold it right there you, erm, thing!” Said the possible leader of the guards there. He went outside, the other guards following suit.

“Yes, what do you want?” Kami asked.

“First off, who and what are you?!” He asked Kami, getting in front of him with a menacing pose, the other guards flanking him.

“I am Kami, the god of the Patapon Tribe. I was summoned by that human back there to help you kill those pests” He declared while pointing at the hounds that were coming from the forest towards the town.

The stallion noticed this, and acted immediately.

His horn lit up, and an entire shield of purple light quickly encased the town before any of the oversized dogs got inside.

Kami looked at him slightly disapprovingly.

“I can’t help you if I can’t even fight them, you know. So let us out of the shield so we ca-” He started to say, before his eyes widened at the sheer amount of creatures surrounding the shield. The unicorn who had set the spell in the first place seemed to be struggling to hold his shield up.

“... too… many…” He managed to say whilst gritting his teeth.

Thankfully, the ponies were backing away from the shield and found a safe haven in the town hall.

“Thats what I was trying to say in the first place!” The Wilson called out loud after exiting the building.

“How many do you think?” Kami asked.

Wilson flinched slightly before saying “... ehehehe erm… around...eight thousand...” His voice was too low to understand.

Kami sighed and facepalmed again.

“Please say that again, Could you?”

“Eh, well if my calculations are correct, and I really hope not, there should be somewhere between, erm, seven thousand to eight thousand hounds…” Kami’s eye twitched.

“Your joking, right?” Wilson simply looked at the ground, not a hint of mischief on his persona. Kami’s face grew hard.

“Well, might as well get on with it.” As he said this, various cracks started forming around the shield that kept the dogs from mauling everypony.

“Wait, how many did yo-?” the unicorn began to say, before his eyes grew wide and the shield began to dissipate from the onslaught.

The white drum then floated out of the humans grasp. It began to turn into the Chaka Drum. At this, Kami smiled.

“I like our chances now.” He said as he drifted to the drum, and touched it.

The drum disappeared.

*Chaka chaka pata pon* The Patapons replied in kind.

“Chaka chaka pata pon!” As Wilson his th a bush, the Tribe moved into a defensive formation on instinct, and the Tatepon’s shields grew larger in their hands. The hounds charged and met the shield wall made by the Tatepons as Yaripons and Yuripons rained spears and arrows on the hounds respectively. Luna used her new found magic to maneuver her symatars between the shields, hitting the hounds somewhat clumsily.

The dogs attack was too wide for the small army. But before they could engulf the Patapons, the armored ponies flanked them, taking defensive positions, and protected the town with them.

The drums beat again.

*Chaka chaka pata pon* The Patapons moral seemed to rise with each beat.

“Chaka chaka pata pon!” They cried, renewing their efforts. A new problem arose as they began killing red hounds. These hounds went up in flames when they died. Some of the Tatepon’s shields began to get hot from this.

Good news was, some of the normal hounds began to catch on fire. Bad news, there were flaming kamikaze hounds after blood.

A flock of pegasi flew across the air, providing rain water from nearby clouds that seemed to control the fires. Some of the armored unicorns also sent spell after spell to protect themselves and the Patapons from the flames.

*Chaka chaka pata pon*

“Chaka chaka pata pon!”

A flaming piece of hound meat fell on the head of one of the Tatepons. He started running around screaming for a minute. During this time, he left a hole in the defences. Luna quickly placed herself in the way of the hounds trying to gain ingress, but barely managed to hold them back with the help of some Yaripons.

The unicorn leader managed to get in the fight along with his soldiers, casting a small shield among them. The constant attack from the hounds and fire pounding against their defenses.

*Chaka chaka pata pon*

“Chaka chaka pata pon!”

The Tatepon Managed to run fast enough to put the fire out. He seemed embarrassed as he ran back to his position, relieving Luna. She gratefully fell back further into the defensive line for a moment. Some of the Tatepons shields were glowing a little from heat.

*Chaka chaka pata pon*

“FEVER!”

The moral and abilities of the army seemed doubled at that moment. The Tatepons stood firmer, the Yaripons hurled spears faster, The Yumipons shot arrows faster, and Luna swung harder.

The ponies saw the Patapons become more energetic, which inspired them to not be outdone and fight with all their might.

In this manner, they weathered the flood of hounds. Fewer waves were assaulting the poor ponies and Patapons, and before long the waves of hounds began to die down. Soon, the ponies were exhausted and couldn't fight. Thankfully the Patapons took the lead and took down the last remaining hounds with ease.

The ponies were left panting on the ground in the end, while the remaining Patapons cheered at their victory. Their weapons gleamed with purple blood as they did this. This made their gear seem slightly demonic somehow.

What was left of the battlefield wasn’t the corpses of the hellish dogs, for most of their flesh and bones seemed to evaporate in clouds of shadows. However, chunks of purple meat, along with their teeth could still be salvaged.

What was most odd of the situation was that many red rubies were littered about the remains of the small war.

Kami drifted over to the leader of the guard.

“My advice for next time, try not to antagonize possible help. The next person through here might not be as friendly as me.” The captain seemed too exhausted to make a retort since he was laying flat on the ground, so he nodded instead.

When Kami turned around, the Patapons were already gathering as much loot and hats as they could hold. As he nodded approvingly, Wilson came out running from a bush calling out to him.

“Hey! Um, guy uh, thanks for helping me and the town” He thanked Kami, before adding: “But, can you please save some of the gems for me? I uh, kindoff need them, and some of the teeth too if you don’t mind, erm mister…?” Kami smiled slightly.

“My name is Kami. We can’t take much back, so sure. But if I may ask, why do you need them?”

“Well, I think it would be better if I could show you” He said, but before he could lead the Patapons, the mares from before showed up.

“Where do yah think yer going mister?” Said an orange mare with a cowboy hat on her head.

The leader of the guards stood shakily before adding: “What makes you think we are going to let you walk off just like that?” He managed to say, abeit tiredly. Kami grinned slightly.

“And how will you stop us? Just out of genuine interest.” Wilson smiled, while the ponies glared at them.

“Thank you, now if any of you need us, you know where to find us.” He told them, and somehow they agreed. Kami yelled at the Tribe, saying,

“Let’s get MOVING! Just follow this guy!” Kami pointed to Wilson.

And with that, they were off into the depths of the forest, with the strange human as their guide.

Author's Note

And the first crossover in this story has begun! If you want to read the other POV, here. Hyper linky!

Your friendly neighborhood mad scientist, Wilson!

After walking through the forest, they finally arrived at their destination. It looked like the ruins of a once proud castle, bearing tattered banners of both the sun and the moon. Luna looked at the tattered banners.

“Those are pretty!” she said. “I like them. Can I take one home with me for a blanket?” Kami sighed.

“Wilson, you own this castle, essentially. Do you mind?” Kami asked the human who lead them to the ruins.

“Erm, not exactly, I kind of use this as my home, sure, but I’m not its owner.” Kami looked at him strangely.

“Unless you know who owns it officially, I think that you are the owner. You claimed this abandoned ruin as your home, after all.”

“I guess it’s okay for you to take one of them, it doesn't seem like anyone cares about this place besides me,” he said. Luna grabbed a banner she liked with her magic, tossing it on to her back.

“Thank you!” she said.

As they delved deeper into the castle they began to hear strange noises. Hatapon decided to comment on this.

“Erm, what’s that sound?”

“Oh, thats what I was talking about with fangs and the gems!” Wilson declared excitedly, walking faster so the group could see his various contraptions. They soon entered a room filled with many strange gizmos and gadgets. They seemed nonsensical, and with no point or purpose.

“What is all this stuff?” Luna asked, walking over to a three legged box. But as she approached it, she fell back. She scooted herself away with wide eyes.

“I don’t like that,” she whimpered. Kami looked questioningly at Wilson, also seeming to convey that if Wilson didn’t tell him what happened right now, he would do something drastic.

“Hmmm, it seems I’m not the only one affected by the machines’ field of knowledge… Interesting.” He stated, clearly ignoring Kami’s cold stare.

“Would you please explain?” Kami asked. Luna had hidden herself behind a Tatepon, shivering slightly. All the Patapons raised their weapons at the human.

“Woah woah woah! It’s alright! No need to get feisty!” He raised his hands while cowering away from the Patapons.

“It’s nothing to be worried about, it’s just knowledge! These machines I’ve built have helped me immensely due to the information they give me whenever I’m around them. Sure it was confusing and scary at first, but after you get used to the recipes, it’s not that bad,” he tried to reason and reassure the group.

Kami cautiously drifted over to the same machine, his eyes widening as knowledge flowed into his head.

“This... just wow...” Kami said as his eyes glazed over. “So many new ideas for Patapons!”

“Huh? What are patapons?” Everyone except Wilson face palmed in unison, with a loud *slap* echoing across the multiverse for all to hear. Kami began speaking very slowly and deliberately. Like he was talking to an idiot.

“These guys here,” Kami waved his hands at his army, ”are Patapons.”

“Ooohhh, okay then, but what did you mean by ‘new ideas for Patapons’? I thought the Science Machine only had knowledge about tools and buildings and such.” Kami shrugged.

“Patapons are born from a divine tree named Mater. We burry specific things by her roots, and certain Patapons are born. And how should I know anything about the knowledge in the science machine? It’s your creation." Wilson seemed to ponder this, before answering.

“Well, it could vary depending on who uses it, I mean I haven’t really gotten the chance to test that until now, so shall we...” His eyes widened as his pupils shrank a little. “...experiment?” Kami backed away a little. He wasn’t frightened by any enemy, but that look in his eyes…

A Yaripon who wasn’t paying attention to his face raised his hand.

“Oh! Me please!” Before Kami could veto this decision, the Yaripon rushed towards the machine. As he approached, a gleam began in his eye. He stopped immediately.

“Ohhh, if I use a hound fang...” The Yaripon snatched one from his nearby companions. “And do this...” He smacked the fang into the tip of the spear, and the two objects merged in a slightly disturbing way. The gleam didn’t go, however. “Does anyone have a bone?” The gleam seemed to be growing stronger.

“Maybe thats enough experimenting.” The human went up to the crazed Yaripon and snatched him away from the contraption, despite his protests. “I think thats too much knowledge.” As the Yaripon left the machine’s aura , he blinked his eye in confusion.

“What just happened?” the Yaripon asked. Kami made a decision.

“No one else is allowed near that thing.”

“Agreed.” As Wilson said that, all the Patapons nodded. Kami thought for a moment.

“I think that we might have a use for something like that, but I would need to make a new one. I don’t want to risk any of my Patapons carrying it back.”

“Erm, I’m not sure how to hel-” he began to say, before his own eyes gleamed. “...Hhmm, that could work.”

“But where am I going to get a piece of paper?” And as luck would have it, the ponies from the town began to enter the room where the group was situated. The Patapons jumped up as they entered, pointing their weapons at the intruders.

“See, I told you they would be here!” said a pink mare with her hair as bubbly as her personality. Kami waved his troops down.

“It’s not worth it. They couldn’t do anything even if they wanted to.” They begrudgingly stood down.

“We ain’t here to cause trouble mister, we jus’ wanted ta talk,” said the cowpony from before.

“Alright, I’m listening as long as you are,” Wilson said to Kami, who nodded and replied.

“Speak your mind.” The captain from the battle stepped up, looking worse for wear.

“We wanted to thank you for helping us fight those creatures, and I personally apologize for thinking of you as a threat when you came through as an ally,” he stated apologetically. Kami smiled slightly.

“It’s fine. You could have handled it better, but you did alright.”

“Hey Twilight, do you have a piece of paper Wilson could borrow?” asked the pink mare towards the purple unicorn, presumably Twilight.

“Uh, sure but why would he nee-” She snatched the parchment from the mare and trotted towards the human, ignoring the looks the Patapons were giving her.

Ohh! I’m liking her! I can’t wait until I get to play with my version!

STOP SPOILING YOUR OWN SHIT, DICKWAD!

Oh shut up boys!

“Thank you Pinkie, but how did you know I needed that?”

“She’s Pinkie Pie! You are better off not questioning it,” said a blue-coated pegasus from the group.

“Uh, oh-kay?” Wilson wasn’t purely convinced, but shrugged and took the paper from her.

He then walked to the more spherical of the contraptions in the room, and seemed to sketch something upon the parchment.

After he was done, the paper had turned blue, with white lines depicting the image of the first machine and how to build it.

“Here you go Kami, thanks so much for your help with the hounds, I don’t know if we could have survived without you and your Patapons,” he said as he handed the blueprint to Kami. As Wilson let go, however, the blueprint fell through Kami’s hands.

“...Forgot about that for a second,” Kami said. “Luna, could you please get that for me?” Luna replied in an extremely cute voice.

“Sure!” She skipped in front of the other ponies, and picked it up in her magic. She then turned to them.

“Hello! Didn’t I see you back at the libraryish place?” The ponies just stared at her with their mouths agape, with the exception of Pinkie Pie.

“Don’t worry about it.” She shrugged and said towards her companions, most of them nodded. But few were still left speechless.

She is so CLOSE to breaking the fourth wall! This is great!

DON’T TEMPT THE PINK ONE, SHE HAS DONE IT BEFORE AND I DON’T LIKE IT!

Oh stop being such a baby!

Kami remembered what they came for originally.

“So, I assume that you can make things out of the gems and teeth?”

“Oh yeah, RIGHT!” Wilson remembered as well.

“Just make a small pile of them somewhere around here and take whatever else is left. If I can make something useful out of them, I bet you could too,” Kami nodded.

“Alright! Split the gems and fangs into two piles!” He looked to Wilson. “Do you want any meat as well?” The ponies flinched at his last statement.

“Uh, no.” He then whispered to Kami’s ear, ”I’m not eating anything in front of them, and especially nothing that is purple!” Kami shrugged.

“Your loss.” Wilson laughed nervously.

“ANYWAYS, I think it might be time for you to go. I don’t think you came here to stay, right?” Kami shook his head.

“No, although I wouldn’t mind coming back at all.” Wilson smiled at him.

“Alright, if you could follow me, I think I can get you home.” However, a certain mare had something to say.

“What about us? Can we come with you?” the purple unicorn asked the group.

“Just, erm, sit tight. I’ll come back and try to explain as much as I can. Please don’t touch any of my machines until then,” the human answered her, but a look in her eyes begged to differ.

In the end, however, the ponies agreed to listen to him.

“Gather the stuff that’s ours, and lets follow him!” he ordered the Tribe. They complied quickly, and started after Wilson.

They arrived at a new contraption, one which made less sense than any of the previous machines from before.

As they approached the portal, it lit up with a white glow.

“Well I guess this is goodbye,” said Wilson wistfully, extending a hand towards Kami.

“True. It was nice meeting you, Wilson.” His hand phased through the human’s hand, but the thought was still there.

“Oh, and don’t call me Wilson, it’s not my real name, I just don’t want the ponies knowing, just in case.”

“Oh? How so?” Kami seemed intrigued.

“I don’t exactly know them, and I really would appreciate if you helped me keep it that way.” Kami smiled.

“May I know your real name?”

“Well, after the whole hounds thing I trust you enough to know its Robert, Robert Smith.”

“I’ll keep your secret safe. Anyway, see you later!” He turned to his army.

“Time to go home!” They all cheered as they went back through the portal to their own world.

Robert waved goodbye to them, before a sudden realization hit him like a sledgehammer to the face.

“Oh fuck, how the hell am I going to call him back!? HE TOOK THE DRUM!!”

Author's Note

Okay, this was AMAZING to write! Although by far the best part was when Domaldo, myself, and [DATA EXPUNGED] talked in the colored text. Also, why are there two authors note's? Is it just me? Am I going insane? I'm going to stop now. See you! (EDIT: I did see two authors notes before this published, but they're gone now. Silly bugs.)

Discord strikes forward

Kami stepped out of the portal, followed closely by his army. They were all carrying some things, mostly meat, and Luna was still looking a little shaken from her encounter with the science machine, but she was beginning to look a little better with her new blanket. Meden walked up to Kami.

“How did it go, Great One?” Kami smiled slightly.

“We got some useful things. Hatapon, please give her the blueprints.” Hatapon came up to Meden, and handed her the science machine blueprint.

“What is this?” Meden asked, confused.

“It is a blueprint. It tells how to construct an object. If you would get it started, along with a building to house it in, that would be appreciated.”

“But why does it need a building all to itself?” Kami sighed slightly.

“It seems that most Patapons can’t really stand the knowledge it gives. We had a bit of a close encounter. How have things gone in my absence?”

“It has only been about a minute, great one.” Kami looked startled.

“On the other side, it was a couple of hours. Well, it’s a good side effect, anyway.”

“I’ll just start the construction, great one,” Meden said. She then walked off and began ordering Patapons around. Kami turned to face his troops.

“Get the loot to where it belongs, and then rest for a bit.” The army dispersed, most going tiredly to the barracks.

Discord looked over his new army, muttering. His appearance had changed slightly. He had become more reptilian in appearance, and there were sores developing on his face. He looked at Durak with cold eyes.

“Get them ready to fight. I want to make something scream.”

“W-where will we go, sir?” Durak asked, trembling. Discord thought for a moment.

“I want to test you against something before I risk myself. Go attack that upstart Celestia. See if you can do something useful.”

“As y-you wish, sir,” Durak replied. As Durak walked away, Discord murmured.

“Perhaps I should abandon the Discons. They haven’t been any good so far, after all.” He watched his army march off, his features beginning to shift slightly.

Celestia looked out at the village that was literally growing out of the ground, the crystal budding and growing into what was needed. The newly Harmonized ponies were guiding the growth, channeling their minds into the ground and shaping it. Soon enough, there would be a village there.

More refugees were streaming in all the time. Some with military training ‘figured out’ how to make armor and weapons out of crystals in a similar fashion to how the village was being made. Really, Harmony was guiding them to the discovery. Celestia wondered how they had ever operated without Harmony guiding their destiny.

She tensed as she felt something wrong step on Harmonized ground. She quickly flew to the village, shouting.

“TO ARMS, MY PONIES! TO ARMS!” Instead of dissolving into chaos, the Harmonized ponies calmly took up whatever weapons they had and formed ranks. She then spotted the enemy on the horizon. She knew that the chaotic nature of the enemy meant that they would be weakened on Harmonic ground, but Harmony whispered that overkill was the best kind of kill. Harmony also whispered about how she could form crystal soldiers out of the ground temporarily, although it would draw upon the Harmonic energy of the land to sustain the soldiers.

Her troops grew hastily made and somewhat flimsy crystal blockades as the enemy came into fighting distance. They stood in ranks behind the barricades as the wooden things charged them. Celestia drew heavily on her magic as she shot a ray of heat at the wooden constructs. They began to burn and explode even as they crashed down upon the blockades. Spears punctured their thick skin, and began to corrode as the acidic mixture of blood and sap covered them. Many screamed as the acidic mixture dripped onto them.

The Discons soon began to lose momentum, but had almost broken the line. As they made one more push, Celestia decided that reinforcements were necessary. She called on the energy in the land, and parts of the crystal grew into the shape of ponies. The crystal constructs drew swords out of the ground and charged. The new troops crashed into the Discons, pushing them back a little. The Discons began to retreat. The ponies cheered as they gave chase. This was a mistake, as the acidic blood on the ground made them scream as it ate through their hooves.

“Stop!” Celestia ordered slightly redundantly. She dismissed the crystalline troops, and they sank back into the land.

“Get everypony treated,” she ordered. “I won’t let any more ponies die than necessary.” The few unwounded began to bring their comrades into the newly finished buildings to be treated. Most of the injuries were due to the acid blood. Celestia asked Harmony one thing.

“Is there anyone who can help us in battle?”

Discord tapped a talon against his throne impatiently. It stopped when Durak reported back.

“WHAT!?!?” he screamed aloud. Durak knelt there, shivering. “YOU ARE ALL USELESS!” Discord raved. A pustule on his forehead popped to reveal a slitted eye, and his tail began to grow small barbs on it. As he got up, he used this new trait to great effect by smacking Durak with enough force to crack his wooden shell. Durak whirled through the air and crashed to the ground, skidding a little. He laid there motionless, and Discord felt his connection with the Discon vanish. Discord’s rage was not sated, however. He snapped his fingers, blowing up the rest of his servants.

“I need to start all over again. I shouldn’t have based them off of Patapons.” As he raved, his horns grew slightly. He sat on his throne and began thinking of ideas for new servants. He didn’t notice the seemingly dead Durak dragging himself away across the ground. Durak grinned despite the pain he was in. It had taken a lot of pain and effort to do so, but he had severed his mind from Discord’s. Durak had to fight the urge to laugh. He was finally free.

Author's Note

I admit that I went on a little bit of an impromptu vacation there. Sorry about that. But I'm back now, and hopefully there won't be anything else like that for a while. And honestly, I'm a bit surprised about what I'm doing to Discord. But I think it will make it all more interesting. Eldritch Discord, anyone? And something else. I maaaaaaay do a crossover next chapter. That is, if the person offering (he offered over three weeks ago) still wants it. Still, see you all later! (Plus, thanks to Flutter is Shy for prereading, and Emtu for editing.)

Drums and DM's

Celestia looked at the cubic thing in her magic intently. Harmony had guided her to it, and had told her that it was connected to a being from another realm of existence. She was trying to figure out how it worked. In a stroke of inspiration, which was sparked by Harmony, she threw it at the ground. It rolled, and a portal appeared near, it to Celestia’s surprise.

Out from the portal popped a humanoid being wearing a black hoodie and black pants. The being got sent flying from the portal and onto the crystal floor. Celestia felt Harmony recoil slightly from it, before it began to concentrate itself around it.

“Ow,” the being said. “Where am I now?” Celestia looked at him curiously.

“You are in my Palace. May I inquire who you are?”

“Sure, I’m Dox Ad Finem…” the being, now identified as Dox, said. He gave Celestia a strange look. “Um… D-did you summon me?”

“I was trying to figure out how this strange cube worked. I was told by Harmony that it is connected to a powerful being. Are you he?”

“Well, I’m not one to brag, but yeah, I guess,” Dox said. “And who the hell is Harmony?”

Dox, be wary. There is more here than meets the eye. Dox seemed to subtly nod at the strange voice that came out of nowhere. Celestia looked around wearily.

“Who was that?”

“Who’s what?” Dox said, avoiding the question. “I didn’t hear anything.” Celestia glared at him slightly.

“I do not like liars, but very well. To answer your earlier question, Harmony is the being that guides my people. In every one of us it resides, and through it we all achieve perfect unity and happiness.” She sighed before adding, “At least, we could if our enemies would relent. Not a full day ago we were attacked by Discord’s minions. And there are other foes besides.”

“Um, alright…” Dox said. “Listen, is there a Displaced around here, or what? I think I’d like to talk to them.” Celestia tilted her head slightly.

“I have the feeling you are not talking about the refugees flooding in every day, are you? Could you tell me what a Displaced is?”

“Um, a Displaced is… Well…” Dox started. “A Displaced is someone who got tricked by the Merchant into buying something and got sent to Equestria…. Well, that’s the normal formula in a nutshell, anyways.”

Celestia closed her eyes briefly, asking Harmony if any fitted that description. She hissed slightly before replying with venom in her voice.

“Kami... Thats who you are asking about. Follow my advice. Do not align yourself with him. He is a murderous barbarian.”

“Wait, what?!” Dox screamed, taking a step back from Celestia. “What the heck?! I’ve never met a Displaced like that… Well, except maybe Asphyxious… and Jack, maybe… But that’s beside the point. Where is he? I could possibly take care of him, maybe get him to calm down a bit.” Celestia growled.

“There is no reasoning with him and his Tribe. Go if you wish, but you will see what he and his people are like. And if you can–” She broke off her sentence, and a crystal grew out of the ground, about the size of a marble. “Give this to Luna if she is still with them.” She levitated it to him with her magic.

Dox. I’d be careful with that, if I were you. It reeks of something familiar… I just can’t put my finger on it.

“I’ll remember,” Dox said, seemingly ignoring the strange voice and taking the marble. “So, where can I find this ‘Kami’, if he even is a god?” Celestia shot a look at him before replying.

“His camp is in the Everfree, may that forest rot for harboring him.”

“Thank you,” Dox said. “Now, where is the door so I can actually get out of here?” As he said that, Celestia’s horn glowed and part of a wall turned into a door.

“Just go that way and keep on going. And do not go in another direction. You will get lost.”

“Alright…” Dox said as he turned and left.

It took a few minutes of opening doors and walking, but he got out. He took off from the ground, using his gravity powers to fly, and set off for the Everfree forest. For about two miles, all he could see was crystal as far as the eye could see.

“The heck happened here?” Dox questioned as he flew out over the crystal landscape. “It’s like the Crystal Empire dropped some kind of special Nuke on Canterlot.” A strange feeling vaguely told him that that's how the world is supposed to be. It was like a soft whispering, comforting and quiet…

Dox. Are you alright?

“I’m fine, big guy,” Dox said. “Everything’s fine…”

I doubt that. Just remember that I’m keeping an eye on you for as long as you’re here.

“Whatever, big guy,” Dox said. “I have to find this Displaced and see what his deal is.”

After a solid thirty minutes of flying, Dox landed on the outskirts of the Everfree forest.

“The hell is up with this area?” Dox said, looking at the chaotic landscape around the Everfree forest. The same feeling whispered that it was because of Discord. That the land was tainted and needed to be cleansed by Harmony. A shiver went up Dox’s spine at the mention of Harmony. “Harmony… That name again… DM, can ya look out for this Harmony guy? I’m starting to get weird feelings about them…”

Very well. It sounds like I need to anyways. This ‘Harmony’ sounds more in line with the Architect of Corruption.

“Thanks, big guy,” Dox said as he turned back to the forest. “Alright, ‘Kami’, Where are you?” With that, Dox entered the forest, only to stop upon seeing a strange little creature. It looked a little like some sort of a cartoon eyeball with arms and legs. It also wore a strange hat and carried a dangerous looking spear. “The hell? You look familiar, little guy. Like, not from Equestria, familiar. More like my old DM buddy, familiar.” The thing spun around as he spoke and pointed his spear at him. “Dude, don’t point that at me.” Dox summoned a sword. “You won’t like what happens if you attack me. I’m just looking for Kami.”

“Why do you want to talk to him?” the thing said, not lowering his spear.

“I just want to see him,” Dox said. “Got summoned on accident by Celestia–” The little thing hissed at the name.

“That little bag of mystery meat. She lives with us for months, insulting us all the while, and then runs off somewhere! What is she doing!”

“Um, she apparently summoned me,” Dox said. “I’m a Displaced. She has my token right now. Honestly, I just got pulled away from my world. Didn’t really get an option. My token just kind of works if you roll it. I kinda want to go home right now, so I’m trying to find the Displaced that lives here. Kami is a Displaced, right?” The little thing’s attention had noticeably drifted until the mention of Kami.

“I don’t know what a Displaced is, but I’ll take you to Kami. Be respectful, he is our god and leader. Follow me.” He turned around, and began walking.

“Hey, wait up!” Dox said, putting away his sword and following after the little thing.

Soon enough they came into a clearing that was bustling with life. More of the little creatures were going about, keeping the place in order. There were sturdy looking buildings in the clearing as well, but everything centered around a single tree. The base of the tree was huge. The branches had no leaves, but several curled towards the rest of the tree, itself. There seemed to be a symbol on it that looked just like the little creature that Dox had encountered.

“Wow. Weird,” Dox said, admiring the tree. “So, where’s this Kami?” The little creature pointed to the other side of the tree.

“His throne is on that side. Just don’t touch Mater or disturb anyone. Now, I need to go hunting.” The creature walked back into the forest. Eyes turned to Dox, staring at the oddity.

“Huh, odd folk,” Dox said, walking around the tree to where the little creature said Kami was. On that side there was a large fire pit, about as long all the way around as Dox was tall. And facing towards the fire was a throne made out of wood. It was not ornate in anyway, but seemed great in its simplicity. “Wow, nice. I think that’s what I want my throne to look like if I get one for marrying my princesses. Nice and simple. Pretty humble.”

Dox then noticed the guy on the throne. His skin seemed to be as black as the empty void. He wore no clothes, besides a strange hat, and his facial features seemed to be missing, except for his eyes and mouth. His eyes were perfect circles and were very generic. His mouth looked like it was just a line drawn on with white paint. All in all, he looked like a cartoon sketch, and would have been just that to Dox, if he hadn’t moved to speak.

The person, whose name was probably Kami, drifted his eyes over to Dox.

“Hello, who are you?”

“Um… I’m Dox…” Dox said, trying not to stutter. “Dox Ad Finem. I’m the Dungeon Master of Equestria. I got summoned here by Celestia and–” All of the little creatures looked at Dox, “...And from what I heard from her, you’re kind of off the handle. Honestly, I just came to talk to you. I’m not here to do anything, just talk. Oh, and she asked me to give this to Luna.” Dox held up the marble that he received from Celestia. The voice he had heard whispering to him started yelling at him to put it away. Kami looked at it distrustfully.

“She is in the barracks right now, along with most of my other warriors. We just came home from another world. Had to save a guy from over a thousand hounds, believe it or not. Anyway, I wouldn’t trust that little marble. It probably has some sort of compulsion on it or something. In fact,” he turned to another creature dressed in a combination of a robe and a dress and wearing an extremely ornate hat, “Mind getting Hatapon, Meden?”

“As you wish, Great One,” she said, and walked off.

“Uh, quick question.” Dox said. “What the heck?! What are these little things? Who’s Mater? Who’s Hatapon? The heck is going on here?!” Kami chuckled slightly.

“These ‘little things’ are called Patapons, Mater is the Tree behind me, Hatapon is our flag bearer, and there are many things going on, so you’ll need to be more specific.” Meden came back at the end of that, dragging another Patapon holding a flag across the ground.

“But Meden!” Hatapon said, “I’m so tired!”

“Shush you.” Meden said as she dragged him in front of the throne. “Here you are Great One.” Hatapon got up, sighing.

“What do you want?” he asked disconsolately.

“Dox, if you would, give Hatapon that marble please.” Kami asked.

“Alright,” Dox said. He held his hand out to Hatapon and attempted to drop the marble to him. Emphasis on attempted, as the marble stuck to his hand. The voice that had been whispering to Dox was furious now, yelling at him to not trust the Patapons or Kami. To destroy them all right now. Cleanse them from this world.

“I think I’ve figured out what’s up with this Harmony, guy.” Came the voice of the DM from a random nearby Patapon. Said Patapon ran up to Dox and knocked him down. “Help me hold him down! Whoever this Harmony guy is, he’s trying to control Dox.”

Kami glanced angrily at the possessed Patapon.

“You will explain everything later, whoever you are, but fine. Patapons, FORWARD!” Drum beats reverberated through the air, and all the Patapons leapt to attention.

*Pata pata pata pon!* the invisible drums beat. The Patapons, in perfect unison replied.

“Pata pata pata pon!” They all rushed on top of Dox, but didn’t grab him yet.

*Pon pon pata pon!* The drums roared, and the Patapons held Dox down, replying in kind.

“Pon pon pata pon!”

Dox started to convulse on the ground, struggling under the Patapons’ grasp. The one that had been possessed by the DM got off of Dox, and was immediately replaced by another Patapon. The possessed Patapon then walked up to the hand that held the marble and ripped it out of Dox’s hand before tossing it to Hatapon. Immediately, Dox started to visibly calm down.

“Thanks… Big guy,” Dox said. “Oi, is that what it feels like to be possessed? That shit does NOT feel good.” The Patapons moved away from Dox and returned to their tasks.

“I trust that you’re feeling better now?” Kami asked.

“Much,” Dox said. “The hell was up with that?!”

“I would like to know that myself. But right now YOU!” He pointed to the possessed Patapon. “Explain, now.”

“What do you want to know?” the voice of the DM said. “I mean, it’s not like I’m not helping you. I mean, I did just kind of help you to avoid a mass murder at the hands of my champion. But if I must. I am the DM, the keeper of Reality. You seem to have met my champion. I’m only here to help him and, by extension right now, you.”

“Something that I want explained is why you are possessing one of my Patapons! Why didn’t you just speak into my head or something if you are such a high tier god?!”

“Because I’m not a god as you say,” the DM said. “If anything, I’m a supreme over god. Or at least, that’s how the players used to call me, back when I had them. I rule over most gods, minus the Ascended. And had I known you were a young god, yourself, I would have done that. I wasn’t really paying attention to Dox’s surroundings, just what was happening to him.”

“Just do that instead later, and release my charge as well! I can resurrect them from the dead, but not from insanity! And having a god in your head isn't good your sanity.”

“Tell that to me,” Dox said. “He’s always in my head. Kinda gets annoying from time to time.”

“Watch it kid,” the DM said. He sounded like he was fading out. Right afterwards, the Patapon collapsed on the ground.

“Take him to his bed,” Kami told a passing Patapon. He then turned to Dox. “Anyway, Celestia gave that to you, right?”

“Y-yeah.” Dox said. “What about her?”

“Tell me where she is, what powers she has, if she has any followers, that kind of thing.”

“W-well, I don’t know most of those things.” Dox said. “I only know she’s back in her castle… And she has my token… Shit. Listen, she said you’re a murderer, and she said you’re not to be trusted. Then she gave me that marble and told me to take it to Luna. If that’s what it does, then I’m pretty sure she was lying. If she has my token, it can only mean bad things. I don’t want to just be pulled here every so often by her. Alright?” Kami nodded.

“I hear you. But I have a feeling that she has grown way stronger than she was when she left. I mean, how could she have made something so powerful when she is still a filly?”

“Um, no,” Dox said. “She seemed like a full grown mare when I saw her. Listen, we wanna get my token away from her, alright?”

“I get that. But that is strange. She only left a few days ago, and she was only up to my waist then. Whatever power she has must be a whopper. Still, we are not the Patapon Tribe for nothing. Do we need to leave now or can we go tomorrow? My troops just got home from a tough battle.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’m sure it can wait for a little,” Dox said sarcastically. “Honestly, if we can get to her now, we can get my token away from her. That means less attempts to send me after you. Trust me, you’d like that. And I’d also have to say, be careful about her getting other tokens.” Kami huffed, but nodded.

“Meden, do we have the resources to make any more Patapons?” he asked.

“No, Great One. We would need to wait at least until tomorrow.”

“Fine.” Kami growled. “Then we march in ten minutes. Get the troops ready.” Meden nodded, and rushed off. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Dox. My troops won’t be as effective without a good night’s rest.”

“Then I have a question,” Dox said. “Do you have a potion master or someone who’s good with alchemy?”

“Not yet. Eventually we will, but not right now.”

“Well, do you have the stuff for alchemy?” Dox asked. “I think I have an idea of how to help you and your troops.”

“You can look in the storage house.” Kami said. “There might be some stuff, but we haven’t dedicated anyone to gathering that kind of resource yet.”

“Great, I’ll have a look and get back to you in a bit,” Dox said. “Just… make sure to get on it soon. What I have can help you a lot, but I’m not too good at doing it myself.”

Amazingly, it took Dox a full day to come back to Kami. When he finally did come back, his hoodie was missing, and his left arm seemed to be full of fresh scars.

“Finally done!” Dox exclaimed as he walked up to Kami. “Finally freaking done! Do you know how hard it is to make a distillery with what you guys had?! You had bamboo and simple metal kitchenware! The ‘distillery’ I made can’t even be called that! It sucks, but I freaking MacGuyvered it to get it to work!” Kami stared at him for a moment.

“You do realize that you took an entire day. In that time, my troops fell asleep on the ground. We brought out blankets before just taking them back to their beds. They’ll be refreshed now.”

“Wait, seriously?!” Dox yelled. “I took an entire DAY?! Well, at least you have a hillbilly distillery now for an alchemy guy. Feel free to use it whenever. Anyways, I was going to give you this.” Dox held up a corked vial of purple-red liquid. “It’s not much, but it would have been perfect.”

“And that is...?”

“An instant res potion,” Dox said. “It’s meant to completely revive a party, or in this case, a troop. It would have gotten your troops on their A-game instantly. But, seeing as how I used a day to make it, we don’t really have a use for it right now. But still, here.” Dox tossed the corked vial to Kami. Kami sighed as the vial passed right through him, falling on the floor with a ‘clink’ sound, but not breaking or even cracking. “Huh, odd. Anyways, take it. Could come in handy some day.” Kami turned to Meden.

“Could you please hold onto that for me?” Meden nodded and picked it up, then returned to her place beside him.

“Anyway, now that you’re done with that, we can assault Celestia.”

“Yay.”

Dox, Kami, and the Patapons stood at the edge of the Everfree forest. Waiting… for something.

“Um, why are we all just waiting here?” Dox asked.

“I thought you knew.” Kami said. “Well let’s go.” A little Luna, who was standing behind Dox, used a feather and some skillful telekinesis to tickle his armpit.

“Hey!” Dox said, grabbing the feather and turning towards the little Luna. “The hell?!” She giggled as she dodged behind some amused Tatepons. Kami just sighed.

“Could we go now Luna? Or is there something else you want to do?”

“Nope! All done now!” she cheerfully said.

“Um, hold up, is she coming with?” Dox said. “Wasn’t Celestia trying to get a bit of crystal to her in the first place? I mean, Celestia’s castle was made of crystal, so yeah.”

“Then should we stop then, Dox? We do not stop because of something so trivial. Luna’s soul is bound to Mater, just as every other Patapon’s soul is. She is spiritually a Patapon. Whatever Harmony is, It won’t subvert her easily.”

“Alright then, if you say so.” Dox said. “Let’s get moving.”

*Pata pata pata pon!*

“Pata pata pata pon!”

“Yes, hear the drums and follow them,” Dox said. “Seriously, tons of familiar here to my old DM buddy. Still trying to remember the name of that game.”

The mountain of a palace was in view, and there was a village at the main gate. The gate was being heavily defended by several of what seemed to be Celestia’s finest militia ponies.

“Wow,” Dox said sarcastically. “Refugees. Alright, I’m gonna have to say this now, I ain’t killing anyone. You do the same, alright?”

“No promises. When the Drums beat and battle is joined, we tend to lose ourselves. When that happens, we march until there are no enemies left.”

“Alright then.” Dox said. “But seriously, those guys don’t look to be military guys. They just look like refugees. Hell, if it makes it any better, let me go first. Alright?”

“Alright. But if they do fight us, they will probably not be shown any mercy.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Dox said. He then disappeared with a puff of shadowstuff, only to reappear behind the militia ponies before knocking them out one by one. One of the militia ponies seemed to catch onto what he was doing, but failed to stop him, as Dox shot out his fist into the pony’s face, knocking him out and probably breaking his snout. Dox then retracted his fist and motioned for Kami and the Patapons to continue.

Just as Kami began to beat his drums, crystalline warriors grew out of the land around Dox. They were armored in crystal plate, and welded weapons ranging from Broad Swords to morningstars. They immediately went after Dox.

“Well shit,” Dox said. He pulled out his sword again, just in time to block a strike from one of the crystal warriors. “Alright, Kami, any time now!”

*Pata pata pata pon!*

“Pata pata pata pon!” Some of the crystal warriors turned their attention toward the Patapons. they charged toward the line as the drums beat again.

*Chaka chaka pata pon!*

“Chaka chaka pata pon!” The shields in the Tatepons hands grew larger, and the Patapons moved into a defensive position just as the crystal warriors crashed into them. A few spears flew overhead, along with arrows. Surprisingly, the primitive weapons chipped the enemy's armor.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” The Patapons counterattacked, their weapons cutting into the enemy. The sword wielded by the Tatepon made gashes slightly deeper than those caused by arrows or spears.

“How the hell are you guys doing that?!” Dox screamed, finally knocking the surprisingly strong crystal warrior away from him.

“WE ARE THE PATAPON TRIBE!” Kami yelled as he pounded out another beat.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Fever!” Every Patapon screamed at once, and they fought even harder. Spears and arrows zipped overhead and the Tatepons fought like demons.

“Seriously?!” Dox yelled, struggling with the one crystal warrior who was destroyed by one of the Tatepons. “How are they this easy for you guys, and yet so strong against me?! The hell?!”

“I’LL EXPLAIN LATER. I NEED TO CONCENTRATE NOW.”

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” A few of the crystal warriors broke, and crumbled into dust under the assault.

“Wait a second, I think I finally realize what the hell this is now.” Dox said, taking a few steps back to Kami. “This is like that weird rhythm game my old DM friend played. Patapon. Wow, I should have realized that earlier, even if that game never really got that public in my world. I think I have an idea, though. The Patapons respond to sound, right?” Kami didn’t need to yell now, as Dox was closer now.

“Correction, they respond to the beats of the four sacred drums. They fill my warriors with strength, courage, vigor, and luck.”

“Alright, well, there goes my idea…” Dox said.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” Another crystal warrior fell as a Tatepon slid under it and stabbed straight through it.

“Actually, I got another idea,” Dox said. “Got a spare Patapon I can look at for a second?” Kami nodded.

“That Yumipon back there. Just make it quick,” he said, pointing to one of the Patapons shooting arrows.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” A crystal warrior crumbled when it was hit by several arrows at once.

Dox, meanwhile, walked up to the Yumipon that Kami pointed out, picked it up and examined it for a minute, then put it back down, much to the Yumipon’s displeasure. Dox then began to shift. His skin turned a deep black, and his clothes disappeared. All of his facial features disappeared, except for his eyes. His mechanical eye stayed the same, but the other one turned into the same cartoonish eye that all the other Patapons had. His forearms became large and dense, and he shrank slightly from 6’2” to 5’8”.

“Wow, was not expecting this,” Patapon Dox said. “Kinda weird, if ya ask me.”

“Wow, you became a Robopon.” Kami commented as the Drums beat out another tattoo.

*Pon pon pata pon!* Energy seemed to shoot through Dox as the Drums beat.

“Pon pon pata pon!” The fourth to last crystal warrior was shattered by a spear.

“Whoa. What a rush!” Dox said. “That feels amazing! Hey, try something else.”

“Alright.”

*Pon chaka pon pon!* The Yumipons shot several volleys in quick succession, the Tatepons did a jumping uppercut at all the crystal warriors, and the Yaripons threw even harder.

Dox felt a compulsion to help in the attack. For some reason, the only thing coming to his head was to reach down and grab a chunk of the ground to throw it at the enemy. Finding no other ideas coming to his head, Dox reached down, dug his hands into the ground, and pulled out a MASSIVE chunk of Earth and hurled it at the last crystal warrior. The impact destroyed the last warrior, instantaneously.

“This power!” Dox said. “This feels amazing! Is this what the other Patapons feel like?” All the Patapons started cheering at the victory.

“As far as I can tell, you’re only getting about half as much from the drums at the natural Patapons. Well, and Luna.”

“Huh. Cool.” Dox said. “Dude. I wonder what’d happen if I got a full feel of it. Now that’d be scary.”

“Now you know why our culture focuses around battle so much.”

“Yeah. Now how about we go get my token away from Celestia?” Dox asked. Kami nodded.

“Lets go the–” He was cut off as the crystal soldiers’ remains swirled together to form a goliath of a being. As if this weren't enough, several more small crystal warriors grew around him.

“We’ll hold them off, you go!” Kami yelled as he began to beat his drums.

*Chaka chaka pata pon!*

“Chaka chaka pata pon!”

Dox was compelled to stay and defend. The will of the Drums was strong, but Dox shifted back into his original form instead.

“Alright, I’ll see you back at your camp when I’m done, okay?” Dox said. “Settle this here, then run. Don’t wait for me. I can pretty much handle myself.” Dox then took off into the castle.

*Chaka chaka pata pon!*

“Chaka chaka pata pon!” The smaller crystal warriors rushed toward them while the large one moved at a slow, but steady pace.

‘I only need to hold them for a little while. Just long enough for Dox to confront Celestia.’ Kami thought. He watched the Tatepons hold a shield wall while the others rained death down from above. Luna was watching the giant warrior intently. The smaller ones crashed on the shield wall just in time for the next song.

*Pon pon pata pon!*The Patapons cheered as they attacked.

“FEVER!” The crystal warriors were pushed back slightly by the sudden attack, and Luna ran towards the giant crystal warrior. She flapped her wings experimentally, and managed to get airborne, albeit somewhat clumsily. Her speed increased as she flapped.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” Luna collided swords first with the giant warrior. Her scimitars went right through its eye. It paid no attention however, and Luna was surprised as her scimitars were pushed out of its eye, and its eye healed over.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” She noticed that there was a slight glow coming from in its torso somewhere, but she couldn’t figure out how to get to it. Below her, the battle raged. The Patapons held the upper hand, but the crystal warriors began reforming faster and faster. She began hacking away at its back in a futile effort.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” An idea came to Luna. It was a stupid, dangerous, terrible idea, but it was good enough for her. She darted for its head, and began hacking at the thing’s teeth. By the time she got there, it was nearly on top of her comrades.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” She broke one of its teeth, and darted through it. She flew down its throat, and found herself in a small chamber with a large, glowing crystal in the center of it. She hacked at it desperately, and it cracked slightly. but it healed as fast as it was being broken.

*Pon pon chaka chaka!*

“Pon pon chaka chaka!” Luna held her breath for a moment before forcing herself to exhale. This next blow was going to be it. Around her, the walls were beginning to constrict, making the room even smaller, and liquid crystal began to drip from the ceiling.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” Luna roared as she swung her weapons straight into the crystal. The crystal broke, and the warrior around her began to disintegrate into dust. She quickly cut the ceiling above her apart.

*Pon pon pata pon!*

“Pon pon pata pon!” The warrior fell as Luna flew out. She landed quickly behind her comrades. Kami nodded at her. The rest of the crystal warriors disintegrated. The Patapons cheered at another victory.

“Good job,” he told Luna. But as he said that, the dust began to swirl and gather into a single place.

“I think we should go now,” he said. He quickly beat out another command.

*Pon pata pon pata!*

Pon pata pon pata!” Everyone ran as quickly as they could, getting out of sight of the palace in record time.

Kami and his troops marched wearily back into camp. Some of the Patapons were carrying hats. They all dropped what they were carrying, however, when they saw Dox sitting by the fire pit near the throne. He looked up when they approached.

“Hey guys,” Dox said, nonchalantly. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Hey Dox,” Kami said. “That was a really tough battle, let me tell you. Freaking things kept coming back from the dead. Had a few losses.” He gestured toward the hats.

“Wow, that’s gotta suck,” Dox said. “Oh, and here. Had to punch your Celestia in the face AND the horn to get it back. Did not like doing that.” Dox threw his token to Kami, who was surprised when it actually hit him. He caught it reflexively after it pinged off of his forehead.

“Well, that’s strange,” he said, carefully examining the die. “I assume that this is your token?”

“Yep, pretty cool right?” Dox said. “Has a galaxy in it and everything. DM’s been trying to tell me that it’s the galaxy that has my Earth in it, but eh, I don’t believe him. Plus, it’s purple! Oh, and it seeps magic straight from the Aether. So, yeah. But cool, right? If ya ever need me, ya just have to roll it!”

“Nice!” Kami said before saying, “Say, do you want to see the reason Patapons don’t fear death?”

“Uh, sure…” Dox said. “Kind of an odd thing to transition to, but sure. Afterwards, maybe you can tell me what your token is so I can keep an eye out for it. I’m kinda having a wedding soon, and I’d like all my friends to be there.”

“Sure. I would enjoy that. And you guys,” he pointed to the Patapons. “Bring the hats of the fallen to Mater.” The Patapons picked up the hats, and walked to Mater. Two Patapons with shovels quickly dug a hole by Mater big enough to get all the hats in. All the hats were dropped in the hole, and the hole was covered with dirt. Then something amazing happened. Lights swirled around the largest of the branches, making their way to the trunk. When they arrived, they merged. Then, out of the stump-like branch, a Patapon emerged with a popping sound. The revived Patapon rejoined his comrades as it happened again. Once for each Patapon.

“Damn,” Dox said, stunned. “Dude, that’s amazing. Um, now about that token of yours.” Kami grinned.

“It’s a white drum. Just beat it and I’ll come. Plus, from the one other person like us I’ve met, I think it may have a sense of humor about when it arrives.”

“Well, sounds like any other token I’ve seen,” Dox said. “Anyways, I should be getting back to my world. I’m kinda getting married soon, so yeah. Oh, speaking of that, how’d you like to be a guest?” Kami grinned at that.

“Sure. But I’ll only bring Meden with me. The others... Well, that would end badly, I think.”

“Sounds like fun,” Dox said. “Now, if you could send me back, that’d be very much appreciated.” Kami looked perplexed.

“How do I do that? When I came back to my world, I went through a jury rigged portal.”

“Really now?” Dox said. “Well, sounds fun. But there is a way to send people back. Like, for example, for me you’d say, ‘Dox, our contract is complete’. That pretty much works for all Displaced.”

“Alright then. Dox, our contract is complete.” Nothing happened. Dox looked confused. “On another note. Want to try using my portal?”

“Well, I mean… Sure.” Dox said. “I could always get DM to open a portal-”

Can’t find the world for some reason. Looks like it’s WAY out there in the multiverse. Or at least it’s far away from ours. I mean, I have you, but I can’t really open a portal without finding the world itself, the voice of the DM intoned.

“Great. Looks like I have no choice,” Dox said. “Alright, where’s this portal of yours?” Kami grinned, and led Dox to where the portal was. It was like a cave mouth, with green swirls spinning around.

“Well, do you like it?”

“Dude. This is pretty cool,” Dox said. “So, how does it work?”

“Well, usually when someone summons me, it kinda leaves a message here and pauses time between our worlds until I accept or reject the call. Then if I accept it, I just walk in along with my escort, and I arrive where I’m going. How it’ll work for you... No idea.”

“Yeah,” Dox said. “Well, nice knowing you. See ya if I somehow make it back to my world.” Dox then stepped through the portal. There was an audible ‘pata’ and then the sound of Dox screaming ‘OW!’ before the portal ‘blinked’ for a second, then returned to normal.

Author's Note

Crossover with DJ A String's The Dungeon Master of Equestria.

The Calm

Durak stumbled northward. He still couldn't stop grinning. The terror of Discord that he had had since he was born was gone! At least, mostly. It had been about two days on his journey northwards, and his wounds were still healing. But he went kept going, just in case Discord found out that he wasn't dead. It wasn't likely, but Durak had been waiting most of his life to be free, and now was his chance!

Snowy mountains were in sight now. He had vague recollections of Discord rambling about this place before. He had said that there was no one there. And Durak figured that he could survive the barren wasteland in the north. He was also grateful for Discord forcing him to mass produce troops, as those memories had given him ideas on how to make more of his kind. Ones that weren't bound to Discord.

"But what will we call ourselves?" He wondered out loud. "Certainly not the Discons. Hmm, I guess I'll just come up with it when I make another one of us."

Kami sat on his throne, well, hovered in a position which made it seem like he was sitting on it, and idly tapped his cheek in a thoughtful manner. He was just bored. Discord hadn't been doing anything as far as Kami knew, and Celestia was only advancing at a snail's pace into Discord's land. On the bright side, the building that the science machine was going to be housed in was nearly done.

An idea occurred to him of something he could do. He got up, and walked to Mater. He touched it, and looked through the list of civilian Patapons. He couldn't find any Patapon scientists in the list, but he did find a natural philosopher Patapon.

"You two." He said to the two diggers. "Get these materials." He then rattled off a list of seemingly random items, including a polished stone from the bottom of a river, a feather, a tuft of fur, a reed, and a stick that splits only once. He had to wait almost an hour as the diggers recruited others for the scavenger hunt and gathered materials. When they came back with the materials, they dug the hole quickly.

They attempted to put the items in, but had to take them all out again to make the hole bigger. There was simply too much stuff to fit into the average hole. This time, all the stuff fit, barely. Then they filled in the hole. The lights that preceded the birth or rebirth of a new Patapon seemed to be slightly faster this time, as if Mater just wanted it to be over with. What emerged from Mater was a somewhat gangly, for lack of a better word, Patapon, with a beard that was almost twice as long as he was tall. Instead of landing on his feet, which all other Patapons seemed to do, he face planted.

"Oof!" the Philosopher exclaimed. "I want to know who put that floor there!" Kami facepalmed, wondering if this was a good decision. "Someone help me up! I'm too old for this!" Meden helped him to his feet, before retreating into the gathering crowd. "What are you all gawking at? Don't you all have business to attend to!?" They all just kept on staring before Kami spoke up.

"Just... come with me for a moment. Alright?" The Philosopher nodded.

"Of course! What else would I do before I begin pondering how the flight patterns of birds impact the health of the trees?" Kami was tempted to facepalm again, but didn't. He led the Philosopher to the building that the science machine was going to be in.

"First off, do you have a name yet?" The Philosopher patted his beard for a moment before replying.

"By Jove I don't believe I do! How am I supposed to wonder if I am a Patapon dreaming if he is an animal or vice versa and the like if I don't have a name!" Kami really wished he didn't have to deal with this.

"I'll just call you Ibid then. Look, we need someone to upgrade our weapons, make new discoveries, that sort of thing. That is the role you have in the Tribe. Do you think you can do it?" The newly named Ibid stroked his beard for a moment before replying.

"I believe I can. But just be ready for me to fail. I would be much better discovering the relations of how cat populations affect bee populations than this." Kami smiled.

"Good. This building will be your house. Construction of a machine that should boost your cognitive abilities will begin in it soon. Get settled in, and I will see you later."

"Good bye and good luck!" Ibid said as Kami went back to his throne.

Discord had changed significantly since Durak left. He now seemed more like a god that would demand blood sacrifice than the mere embodiment of chaos, and a secondary wave of chaos was spreading through his land, making it more and more impossible. Angles that were acute but acted obtuse, parallel lines that intersected, straight lines that bent in on themselves. He was currently shaping a wad of pure energy in his hands before crushing it in rage.

"BAH! Nothing encompasses what I need! I need minions, but what would work..." He suddenly had an idea. "Of course! I just need to make them Lovecraftian!" He formed another ball of energy in his hands, shaping it into the matter he wanted. What he sculpted out of pure power was an offense against nature. He smiled cruelly as his first minion knelt before him.

Celestia was still fuming from Dox's intrusion.

"HOW DARE HE SIDE WITH THAT BARBARIAN OVER ME!" she shouted in the royal voice. "CAN HE NOT SEE THE EVIL LURKING THERE!?" Harmony tried to calm her, only to be met with her fury. It had enough of Celestia's antics, so it used its power over her to knock her unconscious. It then began planting ideas in her head. Ideas about seven Arch Paragons that would be able to use Harmony to it's fullest. She mumbled the names of the virtues, smiling.

"Earnestness, Tolerance, Justice, Adamance, Restraint, Valor, Purity."

Author's Note

Urrrrrg, I had this chapter ready for over a month! But laziness delayed it. I'm not even going to write any excuses. (Thanks to Emtu for editing.)

Don't feed the drum (Prologue)

I was on my computer, looking around on Etsy. It was getting close to my sister's birthday, and I needed to get some frivolous thing for her to enjoy. She would never forgive me if I ever forgot again. That day was horrible. I shivered as I remembered it. I didn't need to get anything expensive, just something 'cute', and 'thoughtful', and 'not mass produced'. I really had no real concept of the first two things, but I would try. I searched 'panda'. Nothing there that would likely qualify without being too expensive. I searched 'blankets'. Nothing. This went on for about an hour before I came up with a puppy plushy that would work. I was about to close the tab after ordering it, but something caught my eye.

"That's odd." I was sure that Patapon stuff wasn't normally the kind of stuff to get popular. But there was a replica of thePon drum. It didn't cost a lot for it's quality, which meant it was fifty when it would usually have gone for a hundred. The vendor had a strange avatar though... I shrugged and bought it. I had gotten in to Patapon lately. I had gotten it on an emulator, and I was having a lot of fun. I had only been playing number two so far, but I hoped to find a ROM of number one. Why shouldn't I spend some money on something that great? Even if I was buying it from a guy with a creepy avatar. Now to wait for both things.

That means I started binging on anime, video games, (Mostly Patapon right now,) and general internet stuff. With, of course, occasional intermissions to go to work. I forgot the stuff entirely until about a week later, when I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly got up and went to the door, opened it, and saw two packages. I quickly grabbed them, and took them into my apartment. I then put them on the table and opened one. Inside was the puppy. I shrugged, and took the box to my room. I didn't remember it expressly, but I knew that past me must have gotten it for my sister. I'm forgetful like that. A few minutes later, I had wrapped it. Now I just needed to send it. But my eye fell on the other box.

I put the present down, and moved toward the box. I was wondering what present from my past was. I quickly opened it and saw the drum. I hadn't remembered the puppy, but I remembered the drum. Puppy's were a dime a dozen, after all, and this drum was not. I quickly took it out of the box, and started drumming on it like you would play it in the game. To my delight, it made exactly the same sound as the one in the game! I giggled as I then drummed on it as when you give power and courage to the Patapons in the start of the game.

"Pon pon pon pon." I stifled a laugh at myself as I said the name of the noise. I stopped after the measure, but the noise continued.

"I guess the sound is synthesized, then." I disappointedly said as it went on. But then it started glowing.

"The heck?" I put it down, and started to back off. This was seeming like an anime now, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But ether way, I started bolting to the door. I was too slow as the glow shot out as it went on going,

"Pon pon pon pon." Then there was a sort of sucking noise, then I was out like a light.

I woke up in a strange darkness. I couldn't feel anything, not even myself. I panicked.

"Where am I!?!?" I screamed in my mind. I panicked for I don't know how long, but eventually I came to a conclusion.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" I laughed as I went on, "All because of that stupid game, and that stupid drum!" I calmed down again. Then, something appeared in my vision, even though I didn't have eye's. I recognized it as the Patapon Oath. A quill appeared, and I gained control of it. Even though I hadn't' any clue about any of this, I knew that this was probably my only way out. I quickly tapped the part that said 'This is my oath', before it could disappear on me. I felt a strange sensation as I was yanked a direction my mind wasn't built to comprehend.

Author's Note

Hello dear reader. I'm writing this story because the War's going nowhere fast, and I'm getting bored. Well, on to the next chapter! See ya!