Idiot Box The MLP Version

by Rated Ponystar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 7284

Diamond Tiara gives her empty box to the CMC, but hears strange sounds when they play inside it with their imagination. She's determined to find out the secret, even if it drives her crazy.

Based on the Spongebob Squarepants episode of the same name

After Diamond Tiara gets her big screen TV, she leaves the empty box for the CMC to play with. However, she finds out that the CMC are using their "imagination" to have amazing adventures in the box. To the rich filly's shock, they are actually real as she can hear the sounds coming from the box. Confused, Diamond Tiara is determined to see what is really going on. Is it just a prank by the CMC, or can imagination really make adventures come to life? Either way, she's gong to find out the truth, even if it makes her go insane.

This fic is a gift for RainbowBob. Welcome back buddy!

Edited by Jake The Army Guy

Published 2014-12-05 09:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-05 09:10:07 UTC

Click Here For Chapter

Diamond Tiara was of the firm believer that money could buy you anything: power, fame, love. All the other necessities in life. However, she was slowly finding out that money could not buy time as she lay on her beach lounge chair with her shades on. Her butler, Randolph, was beside her, using his mouth to fan her while a plate of ice cold lemonade sat perched on his back. Diamond Tiara huffed in frustration before she asked, “Randolph, how much longer until the mailpony arrives?”

Randolph slowly turned to the giant clock on the tower of Rich Mansion and replied, “It shouldn’t be much longer, Mistress Tiara.”

“Ugh, I swear it’s because of that that stupid derp-eyed mailpony who doesn’t know left from right. She doesn’t have just crossed eyes, she has a crossed brain,” said Diamond Tiara, before holding out her hoof in the air. Randolph put the fan down and grabbed a glass of ice cold lemonade for Tiara to sip on. “If my package doesn’t get here in the next five minutes, I’ll sue the post office!”

“I don’t know if you can sue them for such a reason, Mistress Tiara,” pointed out Randolph.

“Well, I’ll find something to sue them for. Everypony else is doing it so I might as well join in on the fun.” Taking one final sip, Diamond Tiara lazily threw her glass away, not even flinching when it smacked Randolph right in the face. To the butler's credit, he didn’t flinch when the sticky-sweet liquid drenched his face. His face remained stoic even as he mentally counted how many more years he had left until sweet, blissful retirement.

Diamond Tiara was about to open her mouth to complain again when she heard the sound of hooves coming down the road. She took off her shades and saw a different mailpony, one that was taller, brown, and with a poofy mane and tail, trotting as a smile decorated his face. He carried a huge mail cart behind him and stopped at the front lawn of the Rich Mansion before taking off his hat in greetings. “Hi there. I have a package for a Ms. Diamond Tiara?”

“Finally,” said Diamond Tiara. She then turned to her butler and pointed at the cart. “Randolph, be a dear and get me my package?” Randolph bowed and walked over to the end of the cart where the mailpony was opening its back door to help him out. Smiling, Diamond Tiara put on her shades again and leaned back, her hooves behind her head. “This day can’t possibly get any better.”

“Hi, Diamond Tiara!”

The trio of squealing voices made Diamond cry out and leap from her chair, her legs flaring out as she landed on her beach chair, which promptly snapped and folded with her in the middle. Growling, she glared at three smiling blank flanks that she hated with such heated intensity that not even a thousand exploding suns could match it.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Apple Bloom leaned down towards Diamond Tiara with concern. “Y’all okay?”

“Oh, fine! I just love the feeling of being squashed like the condiments of a sandwich! Get me out of here!”

The CMC pulled the top of the chair up, allowing Diamond Tiara to roll out and free herself. After rubbing her injured sides for a bit, she glared at the three blank flanks. “What are you doing at my house?”

Apple Bloom showed her a folder in her hooves. “Applejack said that yer dad needed to sign a few of these papers for some business deal or somethin’.”

“Normally, we’d stay as far from you as possible,” commented Scootaloo with frown. “But we’ve been trying to become Cutie Mark Crusader Messengers so we figured we might as well do it.”

“Plus, Applejack said she’d let us have some caramel covered apples if we did a good job!” said Sweetie Belle, licking her lips.

Normally, Diamond Tiara would mock the Crusaders for their efforts at finding their cutie marks, but she turned back to the mail cart where the packaged was being gently put on the ground. “Look, just head inside, give it to one of the maids, and get out of here. I’m busy with something. I don’t have time to waste with you losers.”

“Okay, jeez,” muttered Scootaloo before the three headed for the doors.

Diamond Tiara then turned her focus back on her butler who was pushing the heavy box as hard as he could towards the rich filly. The mailpony said his farewells before going on his way, but she ignored him. All she could do was rub her hooves gleefully upon finally having her package. It was only a head size bigger than her and wide enough to fit in at least a pony and half inside. She thought about what was inside the box and the Crusaders themselves. A smile stretched across her muzzle at the thought of seeing them in jelaous awe at the sight of what she bought.

Well, her daddy bought it. But it still counted, right?

“Quick, get it out!” ordered Diamond Tiara, much to Randolph’s surprise.

“Mistress, I think it would be best to take it out inside the living room.”

“Randolph, we’ve been over this before. I give the order, and you obey the order. That is how I am pleased, and you get paid. That is how harmony works, right?” pointed out Diamond Tiara with a pleasant smirk.

Sighing, the aging butler opened the box and crawled inside. Soon a large TV, ten times the size of the box, was being squeezed out. Diamond Tiara ignored the grunts and wheezes of her butler as she gazed at the TV set. “Interdimensional boxes. What will they think of next?”

Finally, with one last shove, the TV was fully taken out and landed right next to Diamond Tiara while Randolph slowly crawled out of the box and landed face first in the grass. Diamond Tiara inspected the TV and smiled. “Thank you, Randolph. Take five.”

“Thank... you...” he gasped, sweating worse than pig in a bath house.

Turning around, Diamond saw the three blank flanks leaving her home and smugly sat next to her TV before calling them out. “Hey, blank flanks! Check this out!”

The three’s focus was soon on the giant TV, leaning back in awe at the size of it. “Woah...” they all whispered.

“Yup, this is the latest and most sophisticated TV from Canterlot. It has three hundred channels, sixty which are international, has a built in DVD player and surround sound, can play games, and comes in thirty different languages!” She proudly puffed out her chest. “It’s one of the few that any such as rich ponies like myself can afford. So what do you think?”

The three fillies looked at each other before turning to Diamond Tiara and shrugged. “Eh, not a big deal,” they answered.

Diamond’s mouth dropped before she put in place, and shouted, “What do you mean ‘not a big deal’?! It’s one of the biggest and best TV’s out there!”

“Mah family and Ah don’t really watch TV,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Rarity says that stuff rots your brain,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Rainbow Dash thinks it’s better to just have fun outside then sit on your butt and get fat,” answered Scootaloo.

Opening and closing her mouth a few times, Diamond Tiara tried to find something else to say to make them feel even the slightest bit envious, but she came up short. In the end, she threw her hooves up, and said, “Whatever, losers. You just don’t know good entertainment. You did your good deed of the day so get out of here!”

“Before we go, can we take the box if you’re not using it,” asked Sweetie Belle, pointing to the empty cardboard square.

“Why do you want that piece of junk?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“To play with of course!” said Sweetie Belle, as she jumped in. Poking her head out, she turned to her friends. “We can have loads of fun with this, right girls?”

“Yeah, now this is gonna be fun!” shouted Scootaloo, zipping over and inspecting it. “Let’s take it back to Apple Bloom’s and see what sort of adventures we can have.”

“Ah pick the first one!” shouted Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara just stared at them, bewildered by the fact they were adoring a plain old boring box and not her state of the art television set. “I knew you were blank flanks, but I didn’t know you were blank brains! What makes that stupid box more fun than a TV?! It can get any kind of show out there on demand like Batmare the Animated Series! The Big Crunch Theory! My Little Monkeys! Even RainbowBob SquareJeans!”

“Well, that’s because we can use the box to do stuff with our imagination!” explained Apple Bloom.

“Imagination?”

“Yup. It’s much more fun to use...,” Sweetie Belle closed her eyes and concentrated as her horn glowed. A rainbow appeared and spread over her head,“... our Ima-gin-nation!”

Saying this word, the letters for it appeared and came together in order in Diamond Tiara’s face. Annoyed, she punched the illusion away and caused it to disappear.

“Nice work on that spell. You’re getting better at your magic, Sweetie Belle,” said Scootaloo.

“Thanks! Pinkie taught me that one,” said Sweetie Belle, proudly.

Scootaloo blinked and scratched her head. “But... Pinkie Pie’s an earth pony.”

“Yeah, I’m still trying to figure that one out.”

Diamond Tiara shook her head and turned away. “Whatever, if you want that stupid box and your Ima-gin-nation, then go ahead. I’m going to set this up and have some real fun.”

“Okay, see you later! Let’s go, Crusaders!” cheered Apple Bloom as they took the box and ran down the street towards Sweet Apple Acres in the distance.

“I never thought they’d leave,” muttered Diamond Tiara before she turned to her tired butler, who was slowly climbing back to his wobbling legs. “Okay, Randolph, carry the TV inside so we can hook it up.”

“Mistress, I must protest. This sort of thing isn’t very good for my heart,” pointed out Randolph, weakly coughing.

“And being bored isn’t good for my amusement. So we’re both suffering until I’m watching TV. Now move it!”

***

“Stupid instruction papers,” muttered Diamond Tiara as she trotted through the entrance gates of Sweet Apple Acres. She had been so busy telling her butler to bring the TV inside she forgot the instructions to attach all the cables and prepare the settings. Realizing that they had been left in the box the crusaders had, she had no choice but to go get them herself. “Stupid Randolph's back giving in. Why did he have to go to the emergency room now of all times! I’m gonna miss the Kung-Fu Cats show at this rate!”

Diamond Tiara stuck her tongue out in disgust at the sight of such mud and wilderness. How could any pony live on these farms and not in civilized towns like the rest of them was beyond her. Then again I always thought the Apples were a few leaves short of sense.

Turning her head back and forth, she tried to find any sight of the Cutie Mark Crusaders or that dumb box they took. Eventually, she traveled far enough to spot them outside the front porch of the Apple family’s house. They were coming back out and headed straight for the box. While she didn’t see any sign of the papers, that didn’t stop her from walking over and shouting, “Hey, blank flanks!”

The three turned around, naturally surprised to see her. “Diamond Tiara? What are y’all doing here? Ain’t ya watchin’ yer fancy shmancy TV thing?”

“I would, but somepony took the instruction papers while taking away the box,” answered Diamond Tiara, before she pushed them aside. Looking into the box, she saw that there was nothing in there. “Ugh, where are they? Where did you dweebs put them?”

“Oh, those papers? We were gonna use them later if we needed to, but you can have them back,” said Sweetie Belle, pointing to a set of papers lying on the stoop. “Unless you want to play with us! We got more than enough room!”

“You’re gonna let her join?! No way! Imagination or not I can’t even think of that being enjoyable,” said Scootaloo, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

“For once, I agree with Scootaloo,” seconded Diamond Tiara with an equal expression of distaste. “Besides, what so great about imagination and a cardboard box?”

“Well, you can do so many things with imagination! I could pretend to be a pirate!” Sweetie Belle then closed one eye and held her hoof out threateningly against all of them. “Arg! I be the dreaded Cap’n Sweetie! Any foolish lass or lad that crosses me shall be given the plank and a one way trip to a watery grave! Yar!”

“Or y’all could be a princess!” Apple Bloom then stood up as still as possible and waved her hoof. He voice turned proper and snootish as she said, “Oh, thank you! Thank you all mah wonderful subjects. Ah am pleased to come to the ball and dance with y’all!”

“And you can even be Rainbow Dash!” shouted Scootaloo, eyes beaming.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “Well, that one wasn’t a shock.”

“You should give it a try, Diamond Tiara,” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“Okay, I’m imagining getting my papers so I can use my TV,” teased Tiara as she closed her mind and rubbed her head. She did this for a bit until she opened her eyes and faked a gasp. Pointing to the paper, she said, “Oh my gosh! There it is! Why, is this what they call... reality?!”

The three weren’t amused as Diamond Tiara began to snicker. “Whatever, just go get yer notes and leave already. We’re gonna play Mountain Climbing Adventure!” proclaimed Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara snorted. “Yeah, go ahead and do that.”

The three nodded to each other and then jumped into the box before closing it. Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow before snorting. She was tempted to stick an address to the middle of the ocean and put a stamp on it before dragging them to the road for pick up. Maybe next time. For now, I want my TV.

While she walked over to the porch, she could hear the Cutie Mark Crusaders talking to each other in the box.

“Straps?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Check!” shouted Scootaloo. “Hats?”

“Check!” shouted Sweetie Belle. “Underwear?”

“Nope! Check!” shouted Apple Bloom. “Alright girls, climb up and secure this line while Ah course the way!”

“You got it, Apple Bloom!” shouted both Crusaders as they began to “climb up”.

Diamond Tiara paused as she heard the grunts and struggles of the two from her spot near the porch. Her ears flicked a bit before she turned around and stared at the box, swearing she could hear the sound of rope and other equipment moving. Not to mention it did sound like some kind of rock was being hit upon with something metal. “Did they bring in tools to play with? What babies.”

Diamond Tiara found the papers as began looking through them to make sure that they were in order while Apple Bloom called out to her friends. “Girls? Girls?! Your climbing to high! Take it easy!”

“Take it easy?! Forget that! Rainbow Dash would already be up on on top! I’m gonna reach that mountain and scream my name across the entire ridge!” shouted Scootaloo.

“Not if I get their first!” shouted Sweetie Belle, the sound of her efforts doubling.

I really hope they put some holes in that box... on second thought, maybe not, thought Diamond Tiara before she rearranged the notes. “Looks like it’s all in order.”

She made her way back towards the box, Diamond heard Apple Bloom shout out, “Hey, girls! We don't want to start an avalanche!”

“A what?!” shouted Scootaloo.

“Ah said, Ah think we should be careful! So we don't cause any avalanches!”

“Losers,” muttered Diamond Tiara, folding her ears as she struggled to ignore their yapping and get on her way.

“Cause a what?!” cried out Sweetie Belle.

“AVALANCHE!”

Unable to take anymore, Diamond Tiara turned to the box, red in the face, and shouted, “Will you three idiots just shut up!” She leaned back and kicked the box. Suddenly, she jumped back as the sound of explosion echoed so loud Tiara felt her eardrums nearly pop out. The screams of the cutie mark crusaders matched with it as the rumbling of falling ice and snow made Tiara’s spine shiver. The terrifying cries of pain and agony only brought a sense of horror to Diamond Tiara as she stared at the unmoving box.

Her mind tried to reason with her that this wasn’t real. Maybe some magic spell of Sweetie's, but this was too advance for somepony like her. It sounded like a real avalanche and those three blank flanks were really in trouble.

And she was the one who started it. All with a simple kick.

Frozen with fear, Diamond Tiara barely moved a muscle as she heard the sounds of the avalanche slowly come to a hault. There was a brief second of silence, and then crying. It was the crusaders, alive, but obviously hurt from what she could hear. She could imagine them, bleeding, cold, and broken from such a horrible encounter.

N-no, this is a trick. Right? thought Diamond Tiara a she gently reached out for the box. “Um, girls?”

The moment she touched it, another explosion went off, scaring Diamond Tiara off her haunches and back from the box in horror. The cries of the CMC echoed in her ear again as they went through another avalanche, tossing and turning them in the bitter winter fury that showed no mercy. Getting to her hooves, Tiara trotted in place, looking around for any sign of help. “WhatdoIdo?! WhatdoIdo?! WhatdoIdo?! WhatdoIdo?!” She may have hated the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but she didn’t want them dead.

The second avalanche was over just as it started and the girls sounded like they were struggling to stay afloat from the snow. Coughing, Apple Bloom cried out, “Scootaloo! Sweetie Belle! Gah, are you okay?!”

“Apple Bloom... Sweetie Belle... she’s.... she’s....” whispered Scootaloo, as she began to cry. “She’s dead!”

“... what...” whimpered Diamond Tiara, covering her mouth as tears began to leak from her eyes. Dead. Sweetie Belle was dead. She couldn’t believe it. Diamond Tiara tried to think how all of this was possible? Did something happen with the transdimensional spell? It was suppose to be erased as soon as the TV was taken out, but maybe it malfunctioned and sent the crusaders to a real mountain?

“H-hang on, Scoots. Keep it together.... we have to save ourselves... the chopper will be on its way,” grunted Apple Bloom, who Diamond Tiara couldn’t help but respect for keeping herself calm in such a serious situation. Especially, after losing one of her best friends.

“Apple Bloom... I don't think I can make it.... you’re gonna have to go on without me...” muttered Scootaloo, hissing in pain.

The thought of such a thing made Diamond Tiara begin to turn green as Apple Bloom shouted, “No, Scootaloo! I can’t do that!”

“Why not?!”

“... because I already have frostbite!”

“Noooo!” cried out Scootaloo in despair.

Unable to take anymore, Diamond Tiara leaped for the box, ready to drag them out of their predicament... but all she saw was Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sitting on their rears, looking up in confusion. Sweetie Belle was lying on her back, eyes closed and motionless, but the rising of the chest indicated that she as breathing. Diamond Tiara looked around in shock. There was no snow. No ice. No dying fillies. Just a cardboard box.

“Wha-what just happened?!” shouted Diamond TIara both equally shocked and annoyed. “How were you three making that noise!”

“What noise?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Those sound effects! The ropes, the climbing, the avalanche, the, the, the…”

“Oh, and the second avalanche!” said Sweetie Belle, opening her eyes and smiling. “That’s the one that did me in!”

“Sweetie, the dead don’t talk, remember?” pointed out Scootaloo.

“Oh, right. Sorry. Blahhh.” Sweetie Belle fell back on he back and closed her eyes, this time with her tongue loping out.

Diamond Tiara kept her stunned face on for a bit longer before she frowned and stared at the three grinning fillies. “Forget this.” She closed the box and walked away, growling. “I have no idea why I was even bothering with those three idiots. If they want to waste time in that box fine. I’m going to go watch my new Televi—”

The sound of a low flying object in the air, kicking up wind made Diamond Tiara freeze up before instinctively diving downward. She ducked her head over her hooves as she heard what sounded like a helicopter flying down towards her. Shaking from head to flank, she looked up but saw nothing. She raised her head and looked around further. No sign of anything but clouds in the sky. But then where is the sound coming from?!

Turning slowly towards the box, Diamond Tiara could hear the sounds coming from it again. Followed by a male voice that shouted, “Attention climbers! Assistance is on its way! You're going to make it out of here!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo’s cheerful voices began to make Diamond Tiara grind her teeth. Within a split second she opened up the box and screamed, “Aha! Wha?!”

Again, there was no rescue helicopter. No snow or anything. Just the three crusaders in the same spot as she left them. Diamond Tiara, who had always gotten straight A’s in school, racked her mind with every logical conclusion she could think of for this and came out with nothing. She was not insane, she heard those noises as clear as day and they were coming from the box.

The question was how.

“How are you three doing this?!” asked Diamond Tiara, eye twitching.

“Well, first we established a base camp at fifteen thousand feet...” started Apple Bloom.

“No, you idiot! The noises! How did you guys do that?!” cried out Diamond Tiara as the three poked their heads out with smiles on their muzzles.

“That’s easy, we just get in the a box,” said Scootaloo.

“And use our,” once again Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed out the rainbow followed the accursed letters that Diamond Tiara was beginning to despise with each casting. “Ima-gin-nation!”

Narrowing her eyes, Diamond Tiara shoved her face forward, forcing the crusaders to lean back. “Are you three saying that I have no imagination?! I have more Ima-gin-nation,” she quoted with her hooves, “then the three of you combined!”

Scootaloo sighed. “Great, so go get a box and leave us alone already.”

The three went back into the box and closed it. Diamond Tiara stuck out her tongue before turning around with her chin up high. “ I’ll show them! Diamond Tiara is the most imaginative pony there is in Equestria! Much more than you three blank flanks!”

But I have to find an empty box first, thought Diamond Tiara as she wondered where she was gonna find one. She then paused and saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders treehouse not to far from where she was and grinned. Why should I use my box when I can “borrow” one of theirs?

***

Diamond Tiara had only ever been in the Crusader’s treehouse once, and that was when she was temporary friends with Babs “Backstabber” Seed. And she didn’t remember it being so dirty and full of useless junk. After tossing things left and right, Tiara finally managed to find an empty shoe box and smiled at her finding. “Okay, let’s see what this whole box thing really is.” She lifted up the top and jumped inside, placing the top on her head while avoiding her tiara getting knocked off.

She waited for something to happen.

And waited.

And waited.

Diamond Tiara’s left eye began to twitch before she screamed in frustration and stomped out of the box. “Nothing happened! I sat in the stupid box for who knows how long and all I did was get a bad flank cramp! Stupid useless box!”

With another angry yell, she kicked the box across the floor. But as soon as she did that, the sound of carriages shrieking and police sirens coming from outside made her freeze in place. From the sounds coming from outside the walls, it look as if she was surrounded. Gruff stallions could be heard everywhere, giving orders as she heard them stomping around and calling her out.

“Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hooves up!” cried a voice from what sounded like a bullhorn.

Diamond Tiara crossed her rear legs and shivered. “What’s going on? What did I do to get the police on my tail? Well, maybe for breaking and entering. Or they finally found out it was me that unleashed those parasprites in the park’s public bathrooms. Or...” She gasped and turned towards the box she had only kicked just a minute ago. “Is it because I kicked this box?”

Normally, Diamond Tiara would get her daddy to call their family lawyer to avoid any arrests or lawsuits (usually twice a month), but without him anywhere nearby she was gonna have to wing it. Taking the lid of the box, she put it back on, and carried it to the front door. Taking a few deep breaths, she opened the door and raised her hooves with the box over her head, eyes closed. “Officers! Please! Don't shoot or anything! I can explain everything!”

“They’re she is! Fire at will!”

Diamond Tiara screamed as she dropped the box and held her hooves in front of her face. The sound of bullets echoed in Tiara’s ears. She awaited the painful and brutal agony of death, but only felt the breeze of the wind. Either death is painless or....

She slowly opened her eyes and saw nothing but the trees of Sweet Apple Acres. Diamond’s jaw dropped as she could have sworn that she heard a hail of life taking bullets. But there was no police or sirens or anything. Just the cardboard... box... in the distance... where the... noises were coming... from.

Oh you have to be kidding me... though Diamond TIara, deadpan in the face as she heard the sound of screeching tires and crashes.

“You’ll never take us alive, coppers!” shouted Scootaloo’s voice followed by a maniacal laugh.

“So long suckers! Hahahahaha!!” shouted Sweetie Belle, followed by a crash.

“Argh!” screamed Diamond Tiara before she grabbed the hat box and threw it at the cardboard one, landing right next to it. The noises stopped as the three fillies opened the top and looked around before Apple Bloom spotted the other box.

“Oh, neat! Another box!” she said cheerfully, before grabbing and heading back inside. The chase sounds continuing.

Diamond Tiara’s hoof also met her face once it did. She shook her head and quickly grabbed the notes for her TV before rushing down the walkway and towards home. “I gotta get out of here before they drive me crazy! Just need to watch some TV and everything will be fine!”

***

For the first time in life, Diamond Tiara didn’t complain about making something work with her own two hooves. Mostly that was because there was nopony to complain it to. Still, the urge to drown out the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their stupid imaginawhatever drove her to finally setting up the new TV.

Sighing in relaxation, she took the control and pressed the on button. “Okay, Diamond Tiara. Let’s watch some TV and drown out that stupid foalish box thing those three losers are doing.”

The first channel appeared and Diamond Tiara instantly frowned as the show that was on was showing a series of boxes on conveyor belts. “It is here that the boxes, having reach the final line of the assembly, shall be sent to other companies to use.”

Diamond Tiara quickly changed the channel. This time it showed a unicorn in a lab coat and really old mustache. He was levitating a ruler and pointing it to a chalkboard that had the mathematical designs... of a box. “In order to show case our new mathematical equation, I shall demonstrate by test it on the size of this box drawing.”

“Ugh!” shouted Diamond Tiara before clicking the next channel button.

It showed a young male earth pony, smiling lovingly at another earth pony, but female. There was romantic music in the background which made Diamond sigh and relax as she sat back on her couch and watch. Even if it is a cheesy soap opera, I’ll take it.

“Happy Box Day, honey” said the stallion.

“Happy Box Day, dear,” said the mare. The two laughed a bit before kissing.

“Oh, come on!” shouted Diamond Tiara, looking up to the heavens above. “What did I do to deserve this! I’m an honest, good filly who everpony loves! Can’t you show me anything that doesn’t have to do with boxes?!”

She grabbed the remote and pressed it as hard as she could.

“Welcome back to TNA Impact Wrestling!”

Diamond Tiara screamed and kept pressing the next button over and over again. “I take it back! I’ll watch boxes! I’ll watch boxes!”

She finally stopped pressing and the screen showed a boxing ring inside a full attendance stadium. “And welcome back to World Championship Boxing! The title is on the line and we're about to get underway!”

Diamond Tiara licked her lips in thought and then shrugged. “Eh, okay. I guess this will do. I mean, it’s not like it has anything to do with actual boxes.”

The bell rung as.... two cardboard boxes from opposite ring posts charged at each other and began to hit one another. Diamond Tiara just stared at the TV screen with an emotionless expression.

***

Lyra whistled a happy tune as she passed by the Rich Mansion on her usual walk. Suddenly, the window she was walking past exploded, and a large TV flew out of window and landed right on the garbage cans just outside the mansion. Lyra blinked, stepped forward, and saw that the TV was still in great condition. “Sweet! One pony’s trash is another pony’s treasure!”

She lifted it up with her magic and trotted away with a smile on her face.

***

Diamond Tiara had no idea why she was going back, by all rights she should have just thrown herself into an insane asylum until she was cured of whatever it was that was driving her to hear voices. No! I am not insane! thought Diamond Tiara as she reentered Sweet Apple Acres. I will find a logical explanation as to why this is happen and I’ll... I’ll... okay, I haven’t thought that far ahead but I’ll do something!

Just as she was nearing the box, she heard another voice coming from it and froze. This time it sounded like it was coming from a speaker. “Three... two... one... Blast off!”

What followed reminded Diamond Tiara of the avalanche but more intense and in your face as the sound of flaming rockets bursting in the air. It was like somepony had taken Pinkie’s Forbidden Fireworks and gave them high octane fuel to launch straight into orbit. The roar overwhelmed her hearing, to the point where Diamond Tiara felt like she could feel the intense heat coming down upon her. But her eyes nearly bulged out of her eyes when she saw that the box was still in place. How is that possible?! It sounds so real! Almost like the time Ms. Cheerilee played to us the recording of the first magic powered rocket being launched into space. Wait a minute! A beaming look appeared on Diamond’s face. That’s how they’re doing it! They’re using a recorder! I bet they’re just doing this to mess with me and call me a jerk behind my back! Well, I’ll show them!

Marching up to the box, he opened it up and, naturally, the sound stopped, revealing Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sitting down and staring at Diamond Tiara. “Okay, blank flanks! Where is it?!”

“Where's what?!” shouted Sweetie Belle, popping out of the shoe box they collected earlier.

“The tape recorder!” shouted Diamond Tiara, leaning inside.

“What tape recorder?” asked Apple Bloom, tilting her head.

“Don’t give me that, Apple Dork! I know you have that tape recorder here somewhere!” shouted Diamond Tiara as she searched high and low, but there was nothing. She even grabbed the shoe box, threw Sweetie Belle off, and looked inside finding nothing. “I don’t get it! You should have it right here! How else do you make those noises?!”

“We use our imagination, Diamond Tiara,” said Sweetie Belle. “We don’t have a tape recorder.”

“We do have a tape recorder box though,” said Scootaloo, pulling out a small white box. Diamond grabbed it and threw it away much to Scootaloo’s irritation. “You could have just handed it back.”

Rubbing her temples, Diamond Tiara tried to think of a way to solve this mystery. It was clear that outside of the box she couldn’t find out what was going on, so there was only one option let. “Okay, move over you three! I’m coming in, and you’re going to show me how this works!”

“I thought you said this was stupid?” pointed out Scootaloo.

“It is stupid, but your stupidness has spread into my non-stupid brain and I need to figure out how this stupid thing works before I become as stupid as you! Now shut up with the stupid questions and move over!” shouted Tiara before she jumped in and closed the lid.

The four fillies now sat down in a square formation as the three crusaders smiled while Diamond had her’s upside down. “Okay, so we did rocket exploration. Now what do we try?” asked Apple Bloom. “Ah wanna try surfin’ on a lava ocean filled with dragons!”

“I want to climb a beanstalk and rescue a princess from a giant army of killer hornets that shoot lightning out of their stingers!” shouted Scootaloo, flapping her tiny wing with excitement.

“How about we pretend we get sent to a world with strange two legged creatures who wear clothes all the time and one of them takes care of us as fillies. We call him our dad and treat each other like sisters until our real families come and take us home after a long emotional moment?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“That’s the most unimaginative and cliche thing I ever heard,” said Scootaloo, rolling her eyes.

Sweetie Belle pouted before turning to Diamond Tiara. “What about you? Do you have an idea?”

Raising her hooves, Diamond said, “Oh, no. I’m just here to watch you three do this. I’m not getting involved.”

“Waiting and watching? That's not what the box is all about, Diamond Tiara! It's about,” once again Sweetie Belle performed the spell that shot out the rainbows and letters. “Ima-gin-nation!”

“Augh, fine!” shouted Diamond Tiara, waving the spell away until it disappeared. With a deportee and crazed look in her eye, she shouted, “Take me to Cyborg Changeling Ninja Pirate Island! I want to fight off legions of undead cowponies who shoot lasers out of their eyes and ride leviathans that fly! Just do something so I can see how this darn thing works!”

“That’s sounds awesome!” shouted Scootaloo. “I want to go there!”

“Ditto!” shouted Sweetie Belle.

“Then it’s settled! To Cyborg Changeling Ninja Pirate Island!” shouted Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara held her breath as she leaned forward, ready for anything. Would they be teleported to the island. Would the walls dissolve and reveal the beach being attacked by the cowponies riding sea monsters? Was this even safe?

What she got was all three crusader closing their eyes and sitting still.

“Beep beep beep!” said Scootaloo.

“Arr,” replied Apple Bloom.

“Boop, beep boop,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ahoy, matey!”

“Beep beep!” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom smile widened “For that, ye be washing the poop deck!”

The other girls snickered while Diamond’s twitching eye began to twitch twice as fast while a vein in her left forehead pulsed. “Grrr! Enough!” shouted Diamond Tiara she punched the top open and climbed out. The three crusaders stared at Diamond TIara as she pointed at them. “If you don’t want to show me how this box works then fine. Who cares? Not me! I have better things to do then pace around and wondering how you three work that thing.”

***

“How do those three work that thing?!” shouted Diamond Tiara as she continued to pace between the trees of Sweet Apple Acres like she had for the past ten minutes. “There's got to be a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that!”

She looked back at the box at the distance where she could hear the sounds of an epic battle being held. Gunfire shot in the air as cries of armies echoed with it. Swords clashed and shields were broken while the sounds of dragon like cries and laser blasts could be heard ever so often. It was just like she suggested earlier: a battle between robot changeling ninja pirate’s fighting against undead cowponies riding on leviathans on an island. It sounded so awesome, and yet she wasn’t part of it.

“It was my idea to being with!” cried out Diamond TIara, crossing her hooves. “Okay, I have to go in there myself! I’ll sneak in when those three go to bed and find the secret! I’ll wait all night if I have too!”

To her credit, Diamond Tiara did stay in place until the sun was finally down and the stars were out. The battle had apparently ended and a celebration was taking place for the victorious ninja pirates. There was a live band, merriment, fireworks, and more. And she still couldn’t see it. Won’t be long now. I’ll have your secrets soon enough, box! Bwahahahaha!

Finally, the sounds ended as the crusaders got out of the box and yawned. “Well, Ah’m beat. Ah think it’s time we head back home and pick up tomorrow,” suggested Apple Bloom.

“I agree,” seconded Sweetie Belle as they all got out.

Apple Bloom bid the other girls goodnight as they walked towards the exit and she went into her own home nearby. When the door was shut, and the remaining crusaders were long gone, Diamond Tiara saw her chance and made way for the box as quietly as possible.

When she reached the box, she quickly checked to make sure that she was unnoticed before opening it and diving right in. After shutting the lid, she began to cackle to herself until she noticed a piece of paper taped to one of the wall. Curious, she took it off and read it out loud. “This plaque is to commemorate those who died in battle a the great Island Apocalypse of 3013. Lest we forget—Oh, brother!” She tore it up and began to look around. “Where is it?! Where is the switch or button that turns this thing on?!”

Every corner was checked. Every piece of cardboard was felt and inspected. She searched twice and found nothing. No switch. No button. Noting out of the ordinary. It was just a plain, empty box. “But... but... ugh.” Diamond Tiara fell on her back, limbs spread out, as he took in a heavy gust of air and let it out. “Nothing... there is nothing here...” She closed her eyes and knew that there was only one possible explanation left. She didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe it. Yet, what other option was there?

“Maybe... maybe it was their imagination? Maybe they really did do all that just by playing pretend,” said Diamond Tiara. She groaned before rising up and smacking her forehead with her hoof. “Oh, come on, Diamond Tiara. Do you really think that if you start doing the same thing that you’ll hear noises?” She sat up and started pressing her rear right hoof out while her front hooves acted like they were grabbing a wheel. “It’s not like if I pretend I’m in a car, pressing on the gas, I’ll suddenly start hearing...”

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widen as she heard the sound of a motor running. She pressed the “gas” a second time and again she heard it. A sparkle appeared in her eyes as she giggled, then laughed so hard she could barely start breathing. “It works! It really works! I’m driving! Weeee!” Diamond Tiara’s mirth continued as she turned her invisible steering wheel, making her own car sounds that mixed with the real ones. She could feel the box moving and shaking each time she turned. “This is the best thing ever! Woo hoo!”

Unbeknownst to Diamond Tiara, there was a source for the noise. Lifting the box up with it’s mini-claw, the Flim and Flam Brothers Magic fueled Garbage Truck continued to gather the rest of the trash while the diver continued to listen to his headphones. Diamond Tiara continued to shout out in joy even as the box was put in with the rest of the garbage and the truck dove towards the direction of the town dump.

“Yes! Eat my dust losers! First place and everypony is behind me! Yes!” cried out Diamond Tiara as the box moved with the truck whenever it turned. When it reached the dump it turned around and began to unload it’s trash. “I’m almost there! Almost there!”

Suddenly, Diamond Tiara found herself being tossed out of the box and sliding down a mountain of garbage that got all over her mane, fur, tail, and even in her mouth. The box was crushed by the garbage and disappeared under it’s wave of waste. Diamond Tiara continued to slide down the hill of trash until she reached the bottom where she landed in a pile of mud and face first in a half eaten pie.

Moaning, she slowly raised her cherry covered head as a dog walked over and began to lick her face. “Imagination... really... hurts...”

***

The next morning, Diamond Tiara slowly began to walk from the dump and back towards home. Her entire body still covered in dirt, wasted food, and who knows what else. She walked around with a emotionless expression on her face, but her eyes were filled with such rage that she looked ready to rip out a tree and beat ponies with it. She passed by Sweet Apple Acres where she saw the three Cutie Mark Crusaders playing with a ball by passing it to one another.

They noticed her and stopped playing before walking over with smiling faces. “Hey, Diamond. Have you see our box? We woke up and couldn’t find it,” said Sweetie Belle.

Diamond Tiara just stood there, staring at their smiling faces.

“I. Hate. You,” was all Diamond said before she continue her march back home, leaving behind three confused crusaders.

“Geez, somepony woke up down in the dumps.”

Author's Note

As I mentioned before, I made this fic for RainbowBob after he got in the accident. It's actually quite a coincidence that he got better just as I was ready to post it. Anyway I hope he and everybody else enjoyed this. It was really fun doing this and I might do it again at somepoint.

Later