How to Hide a Body... Poorly...
Everything was perfect. Children laughing and playing games with their best friends. Ponies laughing and dunking their heads in ice cold water that looked like ectoplasm, to come up with a skull (apple) in their mouths. Ponies in mummy, chicken, ghost and even human costumes piled up against doorsteps until the owners opened their door too give them some pieces of candy or fruits. (The ones with fruits obviously perished under toilet paper) Meanwhile in a dark alley some innocent children are scared to death by the pony the day was named after.
RAAAAAWWWRRR
The children all dressed up in their costumes screamed bloody murder as the nightmare herself, Luna, jumped out from behind a lone barrel in the alley, dressed in her Nightmare Moon outfit.
She laughed her Canterlot, throaty, laugh as the scared children ran for their lives, screaming. But as the dust cleared from the scared children's scramble for safety only one was left behind on the ground with a blank stare on his face, twitching convulsively.
As Luna controlled herself from her mad laughter she stepped over the body that slowed its twitching and now had stopped. As she looked at the dressed up pony she just barely recognized him from his pirate outfit.
"GREETINGS PIPSQUEAK! I mean greetings Pipsqueak, how is Nighmare Night operating for you? I hope you obtained a bounteous amount of the sweets to feast on afterwards." But the little body just sat there as Pipsqueak just stared into the darkness of the night.
"Pip?" Luna started to prod his stomach with her hoof and suddenly got very scared herself.
Oh. SHIT. Did I just kill the kid? What should I do? I'll be sent back to the moon for all eternity now. Maybe Celestia will see it as an accident. Maybe he's still alive? Maybe I'll just have molten silver poured into my throat, not have a slow and painful death while my horn is cut off gruesomely?
The now terrified 'Nightmare Moon' then returned to her natural state as Luna, trying to wake the little pony up by the only way she knows how.
By poking him.
"Pipsqueak."
Poke
"PIPsqueak!"
Poke Poke Poke
"PIPSQUEAK I ORDER YOU IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA TO COME TO LIFE THIS VERY MOMENT!"
PokePokePokePokePokePokePokePokePokePokePokePokePoke
"Ugh!"
Then Luna got an idea. She got an awful idea. She got a wonderful awful idea.
Maybe if I can hide him no one will know what I did??
It was the perfect cover up.
Now just where to hide his body.
Luna looked around her surroundings and saw the barrel she was hiding in and some hay laying around away from the crowd of Nightmare Night where she could hide him without a problem. But when she looked around one more time she saw the perfect place, an apple cart full with apples that was being dragged along by a scarecrow in the middle of the bustling street where she would be seen hiding his body without a doubt.
The place was perfect!
The Princess looked closer now that she knew where to hide him. She then got a closer look at the pony driving the cart. Luna thought the pony's name was Snapplejack and she didn't know for sure but what she did know was that Snapplejack wasn't that bright so she wouldn't notice her putting the body in the cart in the middle of the crowd.
Now all she needed was a believable scheme to pull this off.
Maybe I can still keep my horn?
"Oh no! The wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful and intelligent Nightmare Moon hath cometh after us ponies, ahhhhhhh!" She yelled the last part weaker than a bunny hitting a stone statue with a twig, creating not-so-scary-scene.
All of the fillies and gentlecolts turned around and looked at her with a smirk on their faces, trying as hard as they could, not to laugh, but they couldn't keep it in any longer and burst out laughing at The Princess of the Night.
Well there goes my horn.
Her plan B was not a very, how should I say it, very good.
Luna walked out from the shadows, innocently waving at the now lively crowd that is now listening to her every word that she spoke. "Greetings fellow servants. I mean ponies. I am here with my bestest friend, Pipsqueak."
And then they saw him, engulfed in a dark blue mist, limping alongside of the Princess. The shambling figure's eyepatch was coming off and he was losing candy with every step that he took.
Luna had a comical smile on her face and made Pipsqueak have one also. Together the two of them, side by side, walked over to the apple cart that was slowly moving through the crowd.
The crowd was bawling with laughter. They were rolling on ground and some were bent almost all the way over from laughter.
Ignoring their laughter at her she then said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "NOW MY LIVING FRIEND PIPSQUEAK AND I SHALL HAVE THE MOST FUN OF TIMES IN THE APPLE CART IN THE STREET."
Their laughter stopped for a moment but continued after they realized that they weren't going to be killed.
She then proceeded to point at the apple cart with all of her might to draw their attention away from her and Pip. Her nervous smile got even bigger and then picked up one of the apples to show them that they were indeed the apples that she was about to plunge into.
After a few minutes more everyone's attention was drawn to something else other than them and the two climbed into the shabby cart.
Snapplejack should have noticed all of the weight her apple cart had put on but she was so busy swearing at a mare in the sky with a black suit, and rainbow hair that was laughing manically so hard that she was about to fall off her cloud, to notice.
They dove beneath the apples, their heads peeking out of the top, rolling some away and onto the ground. As the apples fell they got the attention of a curious mule that followed them, eating the only cover she had to hide his body.
Luna tried to shoo the pesky creature away but she just kept following them as they dropped even more apples. Luna let go of her hold on Pipsqueak with her magic and created a brick wall so that the mule couldn't follow her. But she broke that wall with a crash, her droopy eyes not even blinking in recoil. Luna sat there in disbelief, stunned, until another apple dropped and the mule then picked it up with her muzzle. Luna dove out of her daze and started to think again.
Thinking of a wonderful, new idea, she mustered up almost all of her power and let it all out into one spell.
Her horn glowed as she combined half of the apples into one huge apple and put right in front of the mule.
With a flash of pink and yellow, the apple was sucked up and dry, only to leave a very confused mule and a Luna banging her head against the cart, leaving two questions in the mare's quickly losing hope mind.
How hard can it be to hide a body?!?!?! and also was that flutt-no-was it???
All the mule did was look at the half full cart and started following it again but now eating out of the cart.
Well now I can't use this cart since she will eat all of them before I can get away from the crime scene. Thanks a lot, mule face.
Luna's horn glowed again as she sighed and jumped out of the cart with her limply hanging body trailing behind.
She looked around for her next place to hide him and laid eyes on the game of Bobbing For Skulls.
She looked left then right, shrugged when no one was there and crossed the road. Looking as happily as could be, she stopped in the middle of the road to say, "it's usually a lot more crowded this time of yea-." That was her big mistake. As she said that a carriage carrying rocks squished her body, leaving marks on either side of her, but not Pip's though. "HOLY SCHIST!" she said through her lips protruding from her flattened body with a nasally voice.
Luna scraped herself from the gravel road and proceeded to the other side of the road on short, stubby legs. When she finally waddled to the other side she somehow popped back into shape and was now her old self again.
Finally the perfect place to hide a body
The now exhausted Luna turned herself back into Nightmare Moon and with a weak roar the children scattered, along with the parents trying to catch up with the frightened kids.
With all the energy she could muster, she returned to Luna and picked Pipsqueak up, put his body over the edge of the bucket, and then-
"Luna!" She almost dropped him in surprise. It was Pipsqueak and he was alive.
"What the HELL Pipsqueak?!?!? I thought you were dead as a door nail."
"Well Luna I may not be a door nail but I can be a pirate!"
Luna's face turned down so far that Pipsqueak didn't even know it was possible to be that mad.
Through clenched teeth Luna whispered, "and WHY did you pretend that you were DEAD?"
Pipsqueak answered very guiltily, "I may have kinda maybe pretended that I was asleep that whole time to see if you would take me to a secret hideout where you play games, like Pirate!"
All Luna did was facehoof herself so hard in the face that Pipsqueak thought ponies could hear her all the way to the ends of the universe. She then looked at the young colt still in her grasp of magic and dropped him into the ectoplasm with a splash and walked away.
Pipsqueak emerged, dripping with green water, and smiled happily as he watched the Princess walk away, literally red with anger. She was invincible, nobody could stand in her way, not even the other carriages coming at her stood a chance. They crashed into her, the drivers rubbing their heads in the rubble of their fallen carriages and looked around, confused.
As the fuming Luna sauntered off Pipsqueak cocked his head in confusion and mumbled, "did I do something?"
Author's Note
First story! Yay! 
