To love an older woman

You put your palms over your face and sigh, stilling leaning back in your chair. You lose your balance. "WoooOOOH-OOF"

God dammit. This day couldn't get any worse. You rub your shoulder, having taken the brunt of your fall.

"Need some help?"

You look up...Twilight again.

"Yeah, thanks."

She holds out her hand and pulls you up. "What was that all about?" she asks.

You stare at her, wondering if you should even bother telling her. With a sigh you say, "Well...she didn't accept my feelings." You pull your chair back up to its legs and sit back down, her sitting beside you.

"What do you mean?"

"I like Ms. Cheerilee."

"What?! Really?"

You nod. "Yup."

"Well what did she say?"

"Well...No, obviously."

"I know that, but like...what did she SAY say."

"Why do you care?"

She glances away...then back at you. "Well, I was kind of watching...and you both looked really uncomfortable. Body language speaks volumes and...I couldn't help but notice."

You shrug. "Makes sense..." You sigh and lean forward, laying your chin on your arms. "She said that I'm too young and that we should just stay friends."

"Yeesh." she says.

"Yeah. Typical 'Dear John' letter."

She puts her hand on your arm. "I'm sorry to hear that, Anon...you can talk to me if you wa-"

"Nah, I'm fine." you say, sitting up and giving her a small smile.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Never better."

She looks at you suspiciously. Then she smiles. "Want to hang out after school or something?"

Your face goes red. She notices. "Heh, you alright, Anon?"

"W-What? Yeah...I'm fine. Schools over though."

"Well then lets hang out now, then! You like books, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you like A.K. Yearling?"

Your eyes open a little wider. "You like Yearling?"

"Yeah, she's one of my favorites!"

"Mine too."

"Whats your favorite book by her?"

"Cavern on Gilden's Peak." You both continue talking about your favorite book for the next hour or so. You're really hitting it off this time. She tells you her favorite books and her favorite parts in them with a lot of enthusiasm. You sit and listen for the most part, offering the occasional "mhm" and "yeah" to let her know that you're listening to what she has to say.

"So then he actually discovers the machine that he needs to use for time travel and-"

She glances at the clock. She gasps. "Oh man, I'm late!" she shouts.

"What?"

"Oh, I can't believe this..." she says, packing up her things, having gotten a few books out of her backpack while she was talking to you.

"Here! You can borrow this...and this..." She makes a small pile of books in front of you.

"And..." She scribbles down something on a sheet of paper.

"Here."

"Whats this?"

"My number! Gotta go! Oh, Rarity is going to be so mad." she says, throwing on her backpack.

You're speechless as you look at the phone number. Well...that was certainly a turn around.

"Bye, Anon!"

You snap back to reality as you look at her leaving. "Oh! Bye, Twilight!"

She leaves, saying goodbye to the Librarian as she leaves.You look down at the piece of paper she gave you with a bitter feeling in your mind. A bittersweet feeling.

On one hand, Cheerilee completely shut you down. On the other hand, Twilight seemed to really like you. Ah, but the young ones always have so much baggage. You sigh, laying your face down on the desk, arms around your head. You think over the situation.

She is really pretty. Like...really pretty. She has the magenta stripe in her hair. She has a gorgeous smile.She's around the same age, but so what? That's not that big of a problem.

You push your head up and look around the library.

Its quiet... You sit up and stretch, a yawn following soon afterwards. Stuffing the books twilight gave to you into your backpack, you pick it up and realize you've got quite a heavy load to haul home.

Great. Unable to carry it on just your one shoulder, you put your arms through both straps and start to walk towards the exit.

"Didn't go well with Cheerilee?"

You shake your head. "Not at all."

"Maybe you just caught her off guard, Anon. You shouldn't give up just because of that."

You look down at the floor and smile bitterly. "She seemed pretty dead-set on her decision. Really off put by it. I think I'm just going to let this one slide."

She looks at you suspiciously. "Did that Twilight girl change your mind?"

You look up at her. "Yeah, well, maybe."

She snickers at your comment.

"Anyway, I think I'm gonna hit the road. I'm tired."

"Alright. Well good luck with Twilight, Anon."

"Thanks. Peace."

You wave to her and open the big library doors. On the other side is an empty hallway... It's eerily quiet for a school. What time is it?

You glance at your wrist watch.

5:22PM

Well no wonder. Schools been out for more than 2 hours now.

Taking a deep breath, you walk through the empty halls. The tapping of your shoes against the tile flooring causes a slight echo with each step you take. Its just so weird for the building to be as quiet as it is.

...You really hope you don't run into Cheerilee. That being said, you're going to have to keep clear of the library for awhile. But thats where Twilight always is...

Oh fuck, there are awkward times ahead of you.

You groan...from a combination of being mentally exhausted and frustrated with the situation that you just realized is in your future.

You don't need this. Especially after getting shot down by the girl of your dreams.

Remembering what the librarian said, you wonder if she really just sees you as a boy and not a man. You push the school's front doors open and are pleasantly assaulted by the fresh air.

You breath it in deeply. If theres anything you love, its fresh air. You stretch your back a little bit and crack your neck.

"Ah..."

It feels nice. You make your way down the steps and take in your surroundings. Not a kid in sight.

You figure you'll head home now. You walk down the side walk.

Cheerilee.

You try to think of something else.

Cheerilee.

You try to think of something that you like.

CHEERILEE.

You try to think of something that bothers you.

Cheerilee.

You can't get her out of your head. Its...just the devastation of being shut down the way you were. It actually kind of hurts.

You really do like Cheerilee.

What if the librarians right? What if all you did was catch her off guard?

You sigh. Like you said before, she seemed pretty set in her decision.

She probably wants a man...not a boy...just as the librarian said.

Do you really come off as just a boy to older women? You cringe at the thought of it.

You need to be more like a man than a boy. Maybe you should get a job.

You got your license, but you can't even drink yet.

Ugh. You can't even legally do things that all adults can do.

Feeling discouraged, you keep walking home...your house not that far away. What to do today? Play video games? Browse the net? Who are you kidding? You are a boy.

Your right hand in your pocket, you fiddle with the piece of paper Twilight wrote her number on......Call Twilight?

Isn't THAT a manly thing to do? Talk to women?

Eh. Nothing thats going to change what Cheerilee thinks. Maybe you should stick with women your own age. Its looking pretty grim for your thing for older women. They just want something that you can't offer.

You groan loudly as you approach your front door. Your mom's car isn't in the drive way.

House to yourself.

Thank god.

You walk through the front door and kick off your shoes. Stepping inside the house, you pull your phone out of your pocket along with the piece of paper Twilight gave you.

You tap into your contacts and put in her number, assigning her name to it. Tapping the 'okay' button, you now have Twilight in your contacts. Her brand new contact page appears after confirming. At the lower left corner of your screen you see the button 'Call'

Wouldn't it seem desperate to call her so early? ....Yeah...If not a little bit creepy. Right?

What if she thinks that you're not interested by not calling her? You play around with the thought in your mind for a bit.

Sighing, you decide to give it a little time...but not too much. You put the phone back into your pocket and sit on your couch. You lean back and stare at the wall.

Still thinking about Cheerilee. Are you ever going to get over this?

She's amazing. Those beautiful green eyes, her poofy pinkish hair, those freckles, her smile, her laugh... You just had to make a move on her. You coudln't help it. You just feel that way about her. Its not all bad though...but you can't help but feel like you're not as good as you thought.

Whatever. You're going to play some video games, do your homework and relax... After all...you're just a boy.