I Just Want A Quiet Life

by shinigamisparda

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Self Insert, Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Human
Length: 33387

A method actor is changed and sent to Equestria as Kira Yoshikage. Stuck in the role he dressed as, can he keep himself from falling into his character's serial killer habits and survive the craziness that seems to be attracted to him?

DISPLACED STORY! DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ!

Jonathan Sanders had a problem. Well, he's always had a problem, but now he really has a problem. See, he's an aspiring actor, and a good one, but sometimes he gets lost in the role. Now that wouldn't be so bad except that his last role is a serial killer with a hand-fetish. And now he's stuck as it in a world where love and friendship are the norm.

In the form of Yoshikage Kira, armed with the deadly Killer Queen, can he hold onto his sanity and not fall into the role of a killer? And if that wasn't enough, it seems that he's not the first Stand-User to visit this version of Equus...

Published 2014-12-18 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-01 02:01:56 UTC

From Role to Reality

"JoJo, let's go!" Kenneth called out, slicking back his multi-colored hair.

I sighed adjusting the blonde wig and before stepping into the car. "Please don't call me 'JoJo.' I understand that because I have the name 'Jonathan' that there are similarities but my last name isn't 'Joestar.' Besides, aren't I supposed to be 'Kira' tonight?"

"Hey, it's just a rib. And wow, you're into character already, huh?" he said with a smile as he drove the car.

"You know that it happens by the time I finish the outfit," I replied cooly, despite the annoyance I felt.

"I know, that's why I figured it wouldn't happen if the outfit wasn't finished. Still got the ties here," he said as he placed his hand on the two small boxes in his lap.

"Eyes on the road, please," I asked, feeling annoyed not only by the fact he wasn't paying attention to where he was driving but also the fact that the outfit I was wearing wasn't complete, touching the space around my neck unconsciously. And also, why doesn't he use the turn signal? He knows damn well that it's dangerous not to signal when making a turn and it attracts atten-

Damn it. Not again. Focus. My name is Jonathan Sanders, not Yoshikage Kira. Jonathan Sanders.

This ability of mine has been both a blessing and a curse for me. I find it very easy to slip into roles, and it's what inspired me to be an actor. However, after a certain… incident I've had to be very careful about what roles I choose as it becomes a little too easy to slip into them. My oldest friend, Kenneth Masters, and I are attending a nearby convention, specifically Shadocon in Tampa. Personally I wanted to go as Jotaro, but Kenneth insisted on this particular theme. I was Kira Yoshikage and he was Kawajiri Kosaku, which technically also made him Kira. I reread "Diamond is Unbreakable", or "Diamond is not Crash" if you prefer the more awkward title, to refamiliarize myself with the character. Even knowing what might happen I couldn't help it, when I assumed a role I went all out. Kenneth, on the other hand, handled the costumes, even went out of his way to make sure our bags were correct. Unfortunately, the one thing he wasn't able to make or find in time was the cat crossbones ties.

Let's just hope nothing happens… No, it won't happen. Besides, even if I do fall into the role, it's not like I can do anything bad. Kira wouldn't let himself get caught, so it stands to reason that I wouldn't try anything either.

After we finally parked we both put on our ties. It was unfortunate that they weren't exactly the same as the ones in the series, but it seems that cat crossbones design was too hard to come across for an affordable price. The two of us walked around to see the sites, posing for anyone who wanted to take pictures with us, or just asked us to pose. Some yaoi fangirls asked us to look into each others eyes longingly, but we both turned them down, Kenneth just outright refusing, much to their dismay, while I stayed more in character and informed them that our characters were rather asexual so it wouldn't be appropriate, which they were more accepting of. Overall everyone who saw us was impressed with how well we wore the costumes, and some of them even asked if they could video tape me acting like Kira instead of just looking like him. I'll admit I was a little proud of how well I was pulling it off.

At one point we decided to drop by a maid cafe that they had running, which I was interested in having never visited one before. They were doing a cosplay theme, and I sat down across a lovely in character Mitsuru Kirijo. Unfortunately, things started to go a bit downhill then as I noticed that despite her figure and ample bosoms I was paying much closer attention to her hands. I politely excused myself and Kenneth came after me, catching me heading to the restroom.

"Dude, you ok?" he asked concerned.

"This was a bad idea," I replied under my breath. "I want to leave."

"Dude, seriously, what's wrong?"

"I was focused on her hands, Kenneth. Her hands."

"Really? Oh, um, ok, maybe we better call it quits then. You go inside and calm down and I'll catch you on the way out."

"Thank you," I said before stepping inside.

I immediately took off the wig before splashing my face with water.

My name is Jonathan Sanders. Jonathan Sanders.

I sighed before looking back in the mirror, the loss of the wig enough to jar me out of the role I feared I was falling into.

Damn it, Kenneth, why did you insist on this outfit? You know about my problem better than anyone, being a victim of it. Sometimes I wonder if you're friends with me just so you can keep me around for your amusement.

After calming down I stepped outside the restroom and found Kenneth walking towards me.

"Dude, check what I found!" he called and waved two articles of clothing at me. "Some guy dressed as the RE 4 merchant was selling stuff cheap, and look what I got!"

I took a better look at them and saw that they were the same ties Kira and Kawajiri wore, the one piece of our outfits we didn't have.

"You shouldn't have bought them here. You know how expensive-" I began only for him to cut me off.

"No man, they were five bucks each! Talk about lucky!"

I sighed. "Ok, but can we leave now? I don't want something to happen."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Sorry, man, I was just so excited," he replied before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and guiding me out.

It was then I noticed something was missing. "Where's your bag?"

"Huh? Oh, I guess I dropped it somewhere."

"We should go and get-"

"No way, man. Forget it. Let's get you out of here first."

I smiled. He might have been bit selfish at times, but he did care in the end. "Ok. Thank you."

"And hey, we had a good time while it lasted, right?" he said with his own smile.

"I suppose."

"Actually, now that we've got these, why don't we take one last pic before we leave? 'Scuse me!" he called getting the attention of a girl dressed like some sort of unicorn, a purple one with wings. I think she's from that new version of "My Little Pony" everyone's been raving about. "Could you take a picture?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, ok!" she replied and took Kenneth's iPhone.

As he walked back over he undid his tie and got to work putting on the new one. "Here. Let's get it right this time," he said giving me the other tie.

I grimaced for a moment but nodded and took it after putting on my wig. Just long enough for a picture wouldn't be a problem. After it was all ready we both posed.

"Ok then!" the girl said. "In one. Two. Three!"

She pressed the flash button and I was blinded for a good three seconds. Was the flash always that bright?

"I think you need to adjust the settings, Kenneth, that was too powerful," I said as I rubbed my eyes.

However, there was no response.

"Kenneth? Are you listening to-?"

It was then I noticed something wrong. The buzz of the congoers was now replaced with what sounded like screams. I also noticed a breeze on my face, which was odd seeing as how I was just indoors.

"Kenneth?"

I finally managed to open my eyes and was shocked to find my friend was gone… as was everything else I could recognize.

All around me was pandemonium, people running back and forth screaming in-

No, not "people." Some kind of equine type creatures. They were of multiple colors and they seemed too terrified to even notice I was among them.

Suddenly something rammed into my shoulder and knocked me to the ground. I grabbed my head and-

Wait a minute… is that… my hair? But it feels like-

I could barely see it out of the corner of my eye but there was no doubt about it, my hair was now blonde and wavy instead of black and straight.

Just like Kira's.

I turned to see what knocked me over and-

What in God's name is that!?

Like everything else I could see it appeared equine in nature, but it also appeared to be insect-like as well. It hissed at me as it bared its fangs and on reflex I smacked it away, my hand stinging against its hard body. I got up and ran in the other direction only to be immediately confronted by three more of them diving right at me. In a panic I raised both of my arms to shield my face, no doubt a futile gesture, and prayed not to die.

Instead of feeling the sharp pain of fangs on my skin I heard a rapid percussion sound. After a moment of hesitation I opened my eyes and saw the three creatures on the ground, writhing in pain and holding their bodies. But what really caught my attention was the pale pink bipedal figure with feline features in front of me. It took me only half a second to realize what it was. A moment later I tried to command it and sure enough it turned around to face me, just like I wanted.

"W-What!? What in the name of the hive is that?" one of the bug creatures asked aloud.

Though the chaos resumed around me for the most part those who were within a few yards of me stopped to stare. Something inside me clicked right then, and instead of feeling fear I felt annoyance, the kind of feeling you get when you're being pestered by something clearly not worth your time. I commanded the figure to turn around and face the group that attacked me before replying.

"Killer Queen."

Clash of Queens

The Queen of the Changelings laughed as she approached the six mares in front of her. "It's funny, really. Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along," she gloated as she held the violet unicorn's chin, who quickly smacked it away. "Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct!" She laughed again, approaching the captive forms of Cadence, Celestia, and the still hypnotized Shining Armor.

"Sorry, Twi. We should've listened to you," Applejack apologized.

"It's not your fault. She fooled everypony."

"Hmm, I did, didn't I?" Chrysalis gloated as she approached the nearby window.

This day has been just perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
Everypony I'll soon control
Every stallion, mare, and foal
Who says a girl can't really have it-?

Suddenly an explosion rang out nearby, close enough and large enough to rock the palace, sending everypony to the floor.

Chrysalis stood up and looked over the edge. "What are you doing, fools?! Watch where you're-!"

She stopped as she saw some sort of bipedal creature, a pale pink color, strike one of her children. A moment later there was some sort of explosion and it… disappeared. She could see it break apart into individual pieces before it vanished. The other changelings grew wary and backed away from it, even as it retreated into some kind of mange-stricken monkey in a suit.

The Changeling Queen was instantly filled with rage. "How dare that… thing attack my children! Prepare for your end, you hairless ape!" she shouted as she jumped out the window and dived down.

The ponies stood still for a moment before Twilight rushed over to free her old foal-sitter.

Celestia, on the other hoof, was still shocked from what she heard uttered from the Queen's mouth.

'Hairless ape?' Did she really say that? Could it be another one has arrived? But is it friend or foe?

The insect-like equines finally began to step away from me, some of them trying to hide their fear behind anger, but most looking utterly terrified. The other less demonic looking equines seemed equally scared.

"It seems you're finally learning," I said as I stepped towards them, causing them to shuffle back in terror. "If you leave now, I'll kindly forget this ever happened. Or, if you insist, I can-"

I stopped when I noticed a green light coming from above me, growing brighter by the second. I used the enhanced strength from my Stand to launch myself to the side, managing to jump several yards before landing, as a large object cloaked in green fire rammed into the ground and made a crater.

"YOU!" something shouted as it exited the crater. It was another one of those insect-like equines, although much larger with a messy green hair and tail. It's voice was somewhat distorted, yet still was noticeably feminine. "HOW DARE YOU KILL MY CHILDREN, YOU MONSTER!"

"'Monster?' Somewhat ironic, in my own opinion. I'm to assume you are the one in charge of these creatures?"

"I AM CHRYSALIS, QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS! AND I DEMAND YOUR RESPECT!"

"'Queen', you say? How appropriate." I summoned my power and had it stand next to me, causing her to lower herself to to the ground and hiss, ready to pounce. "This is my Stand, Killer Queen. And it seems soon it will become a queen killer."

Surprisingly she stepped back, her eyes widening in shock.

"D-Did you say 'S-Stand?' That's a Stand? Th-They're real?"

I was surprised to hear that. Perhaps this Chrysalis could be useful to me. I walked forwards, making sure to keep Killer Queen in front of me.

"So you know what a Stand is? How interesting," I began as she hesitantly stepped back. "If you tell me everything you know, I might be willing to overlook you attacking me. Otherwise," I stopped before having my Stand take an offensive stance. "I'll erase you."

That seemed to set off a spark in her, her fear receding and being replaced by anger. "You'll erase me? I'd like to see you try!" she shouted before charging forwards with her jagged horn.

I simply grunted and handed my Stand a quarter. I had Killer Queen dodge her horn before stabbing her in the chest, implanting the coin inside her. She gasped in pain before using her wings to propel herself away, shocked that I'd managed to hurt her and holding her wound as bright green blood dripped from it.

"Y-You dare?" she stuttered. Her horn began to glow green and her wound began to close itself rapidly. Within moments it was closed, though it was somewhat discolored compared to the rest of her chitin.

"Unexpected. However, ultimately a wasted effort," I said cooly and had Killer Queen trigger its primary bomb.

Her chest exploded, a cavity the size of a basketball opening. Despite the force of the blast she managed not to fall over, standing and looking completely shocked at the sudden missing part of her body. Blood spurted from her wound and she coughed up more, a look of terror mixed with indignation on her face.

"Hm. I expected you to be erased completely. Do you have some resistance? Even still, I suppose the end result is the same."

She finally collapsed to the ground, tears of pain flowing from her eyes as they began to turn lifeless.

"YOUR MAJESTY!"

"MY QUEEN, HOLD ON!"

Many of the bug equines, 'changelings' she had called them, swarmed her and began to pour in some green ethereal power from their horns. The hole in her chest rapidly closed and filled. Within moments she gasped as life returned to her eyes, and her 'subjects' collapsed from exhaustion, barely able to keep their eyes open as they panted.

I groaned a bit. "I thought I could just deal with you. Looks like I'll have to erase all of them."

As she stood she looked to those who had saved her in worry before turning to me and growling.

"You... You're far more dangerous than I expected. It was my mistake to underestimate you." An enormous amount of power gathered at her horn, shining with a sickly green light. "BEHOLD! THIS THE SAME BLAST THAT DEFEATED PRINCESS CELESTIA! TURN TO NOTHING, MAGGOT!"

I wasn't sure what she was talking about, but it sounded like a powerful attack. It seemed I'd have to take further measures as well. She shouted as she fired a powerful beam of energy at me. I barely had time to raise Killer Queen's left hand and fire the attack before using its strength to dodge to the side. The attacks colliding caused an explosion of green light as I was forced backwards, bouncing along the ground as I shielded my body with my arms. Thankfully I didn't crash into anything, but I was still upset.

I can't believe she managed to knock me over. I hope my suit isn't too ruined. I stepped up, hearing her laugh as the smoke began to clear. Oh well. I'll at least enjoy watching her struggle.

The smoke completely cleared and she immediately stopped laughing, looking at me in shock.

"What!? B-But how!? I'm sure I-!"

"Struck something? You did, just not me," I explained, using Killer Queen to grab a nearby chair for me to sit on while also arming it with my primary bomb, giving me a hidden weapon if I needed one. "I may not be erasing you, but you will still die."

Her anger flared again. "You still mock me, you-!"

"OVER HERE!"

An object roughly the size of my hand leaped out of some debris at the Queen, heading towards her face. Despite her surprise she managed to react quickly enough to flare some sort of green fire around her. The object exploded and sent her tumbling along the ground. She rose seeming to only have taken some burn wounds to the face and groaned as she tried to get her bearings.

"THAT WASN'T AN ENEMY!" the object shouted, catching her attention.

She looked on in confusion at the small spherical object with tank treads and the skull of a cat in front of it.

"W-What? What is this monstrosity!?"

"Killer Queen's automated bomb, Sheer Heart Attack," I answered as I crossed my legs and leaned back into the somewhat small chair. "You have no escape now."

Sheer Heart Attack sped forwards at the changeling monarch, its pace no faster than a brisk walk, but no less intimidating.

"You would place your bets on this toy? I may not have fought a Stand-user before, but I know if I damage it I damage you!" she shouted while gathering power in her horn and blasting the remote bomb with a force powerful enough to send it flying through a wall. She looked to me with a smirk on her face only for her smile to falter as she noticed I was completely unharmed.

"Hm. It seems you're not completely uninformed. However, my Sheer Heart Attack-"

"OVER HERE!" shouted the automated bomb as it launched itself at her head again.

"-is indestructible."

She gathered more power into her horn, attempting to retaliate, only for a bright flash of pink to come from above us. I looked up in time to see a large pink bubble rapidly expand, forcing Chrysalis and the other changelings to go flying out of the city. I shielded myself with my arms, expecting something to happen to me as well, but thankfully the energy just passed by.

With no threats present I recalled Sheer Heart Attack to my left hand and disarmed by primary bomb on the chair. The equine creatures looked shocked at what had happened, and then fearful when they noticed I was still present.

What action should I take? Normally I would try to do things on my own, but perhaps it would be best to gather information first.

I approached one of them, one with a horn on its head, and it scurried away from me only to stop when it backed into a wall. I stopped about three yards away.

"Pardon me, but I'm somewhat lost. Could you perhaps tell me what you are and where I am?"

"Shining Armor! Cadance! You did it!" Twilight shouted, approaching her brother and his bride-to-be.

The unicorn panted, but smiled all the same. "Yeah. Thank Cele-" He cut himself off before worry came across his face and he turned. "Celestia!"

The group of ponies and one dragon approached the injured but now freed ruler, who slowly rose from the floor.

"Aunt Celestia! Are you ok!?" Cadence asked.

"Thank you for your concern, my little ponies. I'll be fine. But now is not the time to simply talk. Twilight, I need you and your friends to head outside and find someone. They will be dressed almost completely in clothes and will have two arms, two legs, and look similar to a primate. Do not let them leave, but do not get too close to them. They may be dangerous."

Twilight stopped for a moment to process what she was saying before responding. "You mean the thing that Chrysalis left to fight?"

"Yes. I will join you as soon as I can, I just need a moment to recover."

"Ok, Princess! We won't let you down! Girls, Spike, come on!" she shouted as she and her six other friends followed her out the door.

The solar diarch then turned to her captain. "Shining Armor, I know this was supposed to be your special day, and I know you have already suffered, but I must ask for your service as the Captain of the Royal Guard once more. Gather your forces and follow your sister. Do not attack whatever you may find unless you are attacked first."

Shining Armor looked shocked but recovered. "Princess Celestia, what's going on?"

She sighed as she closed her eyes. "If I'm right, another Stand-user has come to Equestria."

Author's Note

So yeah, some of you might be asking "shinigamisparda, what are you doing starting another fanfic? And another LOHAV/H one at that?" Well, I had an idea I just wanted to get it down before someone else took it.

I'm going to say this right now, this fanfic is not going to update frequently, at least not for a while. I intend to finish a few other fics, including some ones not posted here on the site, and getting my bigger projects more attention. Honestly I'm wondering if I should designate this one on hiatus immediately. Either way, I hope you guys can get some enjoyment out of this, as it's kind of an experiment of mine with something of darker tone.

Catch you all later!

A Long Standing Legacy

After finally managing to talk with one of the locals that didn't run away screaming or freeze up with fear the moment they saw me, I learned that this species identified themselves as "ponies," which was an apt name I suppose. Apparently there were four types, the three main ones being unicorns, notable for theirs horns and magic; pegasi, notable for their wings and ability to control weather; and earth ponies, not possessing either but having great strength and farming prowess. The final breed was the alicorn, an apparently extremely rare type seeing as there were only three, possessing wings and a horn as well as all three magics, and that they were all royalty, two of them apparently "raising the sun and moon." Whether or not that was true, I don't know, but they at least seemed to be extremely powerful, the two them apparently having lived for over one thousand years.

If they're even half as strong as these ponies claim, it would likely be best if I stayed on favorable terms with them.

As for my location, I was apparently in the capital city of Canterlot, in the country of Equestria, on the world of Equus.

Truly the amount of equine-related puns is staggering.

After thanking the man (or stallion rather), a unicorn by the name of "Fancy Pants", I decided to wait to come in contact with the authorities. As much as I didn't like to stand out, as the apparent only human in the entire city, and perhaps even world, all eyes were already on me so I at least needed to make sure their gazes wouldn’t turn aggressive.

If I'm to live a comfortable quiet life I need money, a home, and a job. To get those things I'd need to get the trust of the authorities. With any luck my actions against this invading queen could help me get in the good graces of these "Princesses."

I waited on a small stool, sitting as comfortably as I could manage, waiting for some sort of authority to come speak with me. At the moment I saw nothing but scared citizens. Though apparently curious enough look upon me they were still afraid enough to stay quite far away from me, hiding behind whatever was large enough to conceal their bodies.

After roughly twelve minutes of waiting I was approached a group of seven. Six of them were female ponies (mares, I believe is the term), two of each of the three main types, while the seventh was a bipedal reptilian creature, even smaller than they were. Considering the presence of magic, unicorns, and pegasi in the world, it likely wouldn't be too farfetched to think this was a dragon, likely a young one.

They stopped and observed me warily, making sure to stay several strides out of my reach, before the lavender unicorn with dark purple colored hair and tail with pink highlights cautiously approached.

"Um... Hello," she began, the nervousness evident in her voice. "My name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"

I observed the group, taking in their somewhat ragged appearances, when something sparked in me. I stood up, causing them to flinch somewhat, before turning to face the white coated and purple haired unicorn.

"Excuse me miss, do you have a handkerchief?"

"Wh-what?" she asked, confused.

"A handkerchief. A small cloth to wipe yourself with."

"You mean a hoofkerchief? Um, no, I don't. Why?"

"Hoofkerchief?" I suppose I can ignore that one. It makes sense that a species without hands wouldn't call it a handkerchief.

"Then I'll have to use mine," I replied, stepping forwards as I pulled the cloth out of my inner coat pocket.

They flinched scooted back a bit except for one, a blue coated pegasus with rainbow colored hair and tail, who hovered right in my face.

"And just what do you think you're doing, buster!?" she shouted, pointing her hoof at me.

Ugh. Her, too. Might as well do her instead.

"Rainbow, don't get too close to-!" the lavender unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, shouted, only to stop as I grabbed the pegasus' hoof and started scrubbing with my cloth.

She looked dumbfounded for a moment before pulling it away. "Wh-what the hay are you doing!?" she shouted.

I looked at the handkerchief and sighed. "Already used up. I guess it was a wasted effort after all."

"Hey, are you-!?"

"Yes, I heard you," I replied, tucking the cloth away in my coat. "I know you’ve likely come from something of a stressful day judging by what I saw here, but it still annoys me to see your coats stained with dirt. Especially her, what with how those dark spots clash with her brilliant white coat.”

“‘B-Brilliant’? Oh my!” the white white mare stuttered before blushing, fanning her face with her hoof.

Hm, she seems to be easily flattered. Maybe I should keep that in mind.

I then noticed the reptile shift his eyes between the unicorn and myself, sneering as he looked to me.

Jealousy? Perhaps he has a crush on this one. Are interspecies relations normal here? Do I have to worry about being hit on by other mares? Perhaps even stallions? I hope not. Too distracting.

“HALT!” someone shouted. We all turned to see a white mare, nearly twice the size of the others, possessing both wings and a horn, land alongside a group of pegasi in armor. Curiously, they all looked almost exactly the same. The white mare’s hair and tail were a spectrum of bright feminine colors, flowing even without the presence of wind, and she was adorned with a golden crown, necklace, and slippers. From the sides I heard more guards approaching us, groups of earth ponies and unicorns, all armed with spears and shields, which they held in magic auras or their hooves, somehow. Once again, nearly all of them looked the same, except for one near the front with a white coat and blue hair and tail, not to mention his purple armor.

The white alicorn approached me and I responded in kind. We both stopped about two yards from each other.

“Would I be correct in assuming you are the Princess Celestia I have heard of?” I asked, looking up at her and noting the oddity of having something I could speak to at eye level.

“I am. I understand you attacked the changelings. May I ask why?” she questioned, her voice sounding like that of a mother, gentle but not without power.

“They attacked me without provocation. I defended myself.”

“I see. Might I have your name?”

“Yoshikage Kira.”

“No, I don’t mean the name of the form you’ve taken, I mean your name.”

I looked back at her curiously. “I alrea-”

NO! THAT’S NOT MY NAME!

I clutched my head in pain. “Wh-what? What is hap-?”

I’M NOT YOSHIKAGE KIRA! I’M NOT JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TURN THIS TO MY ADVANTAGE!

BE QUIET! I NEED TO GET INTO A FAVORABLE POSITION TO LIVE THE LIFE I WISH!

“Are you alright?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned but afraid to step forwards.

I clutched my head tighter as I began to stumble.

“HOW DID I GET HERE!?” “HOW DO I GET HOME!?” THOSE ARE THE QUESTIONS I NEED TO ASK!

WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS STABILITY! I NEED NOT TRY AND HAVE AMBITIONS! SUCH THINGS CAUSE STRESS!

I WANT TO GO HOME!

I WANT A QUIET LIFE!

MY NAME IS

JONATHAN SANDERS! YOSHIKAGE KIRA!

And with that last thought I fell backwards and blacked out.

Everypony stared in shock at the being, confused as to why he suddenly seemed to fall over in pain and faint.

“Wh-what just happened?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Guards, take this man to medical and monitor him. Also, I want no less than five unicorn guards to monitor him at all times. Be careful,” Celestia ordered. A few unicorns and earth ponies saluted, levitating the “man” onto the stronger earth ponies' backs and carrying him off as quickly and and carefully as they could.

“Princess Celestia, what’s going on?” Twilight asked.

“Lieutenant Sky Hopper, go and alert my sister at once. I must speak with her immediately,” she ordered one of the troops. The pegasus stallion saluted and flew off. “Shining Armor, come with me. The rest of you, attend to the citizens and help any of the injured.” The rest of the ponies saluted and flew or galloped off. “Girls, Spike, the rest of you come along as well. We’ll be meeting up with Cadance. You all need to hear this.”

The firmness in her voice kept anypony from asking questions. They all followed the Princess and within half an hour they were in the throne room, Cadance and Luna already present.

“Sister? What happened? What has become of Canterlot?” Luna asked.

“We’ll explain later, Luna, but right now there is something of more immediate concern. There is a human in the palace,” Celestia answered, causing Luna to gasp in shock.

“‘A human?’ Wait, they’re real? Oh no, Lyra is going to have a field day with this,” Twilight groaned.

“Ok, could somepony explain what’s going on?” Dash asked impatiently.

The sisters exchanged glances and nodded.

“Over one thousand years ago, after Discord, but before Nightmare Moon, a creature came into our world. A male human, a ‘man’, as he told us they were called,” Celestia began gathering magic in her horn before projecting an image in the air.

Before them stood a being even taller than Celestia, with two arms, two legs, and no tail. It looked kind of like a minotaur, but instead of having hooves it had some other body part to walk on, and its face resembled something of a primate. It had a black and short mane and blue eyes, possessed plenty of muscles, and was dressed almost entirely in an outfit of purple, with brown gloves and boots and a yellow belt which held a longsword on its hip.

“He said his name was Michael Smith, and he appeared in Canterlot quite suddenly,” Luna explained. “He said he had no idea how he got there and, more importantly, that he did not use to possess the form that he now had. He claimed to have been attending a convention for those who had similar interests, a ‘con’ he called it, and was dressed as a character from a story he enjoyed. The character’s name was ‘Jonathan Joestar,’ but also went by the nickname ‘Jojo.’”

“Well ain’t that quite the tale. Was he tellin’ the truth?” Applejack asked.

“It seemed so. Though we will never know for certain there was enough evidence to to corroborate his story. He wished to find both a way to return to his original form as well as return home. However, within a few months that goal was put on hold by the arrival of another human.”

Celestia focused her magic and the image of Jonathan Joestar was replaced by a new being. This human had a short blonde mane and red eyes, and he even seemed to have fangs. He was dressed almost entirely in a golden yellow outfit with black boots and a violet scarf. This one also seemed very fit, but not quite to the extent Jonathan was. He was also holding a mask made of stone, one shaped like a human face and possessing fangs as well.

“Though we would not receive the news until much later this man appeared at the same time Jonathan did in what was then the small port town of Manehattan,” Celestia began. “We never learned his original name as he seemed to wish to discard it. Instead he went by the name of the form he had transformed into, ‘Dio Brando.’”

“‘Form?’ You mean he was transformed, too?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yes. As it turned out Jonathan Joestar was the main hero of the story and Dio Brando the main villain, and both of these transformed men soon fell into those roles,” Luna explained. “Michael proved to be intelligent, polite, and caring. He possessed great strength and will, yet was kind almost to a fault. The only time he was ever truly angry was when he heard of or witnessed injustices being enacted.”

“My, he sounds quite dashing. The kind of pony-er, that is, being that would make a great noble,” Rarity commented.

Luna smiled. “It’s funny you should mention that, because his character actually was a noble in the story, and we would eventually grant him the title of nobility here in Equestria. In addition, he noted that his own behavior was so similar to that of Jonathan’s that he decided to embrace that as his name.”

“Dio Brando, on the other hoof, was dark foil to Jonathan,” Celestia said, taking over the conversation. “Though also intelligent and polite these were mere tools he used to gain what he wished rather than personality traits. He was a despicable creature who only thought of himself and took joy in the suffering and death of others. The only positive thing I could say about him is that he was willing to offer respect to those he deemed ‘worthy of his time.’ In addition, he was no mere human, but a vampire.”

“Whoa, a vampire? A real vampire?” Spike asked, completely shocked.

“Yes. In fact, Dio is responsible for the legends of vamponies here in Equestria. However, Jonathan proved to be no mere human, either.”

“What do you mean?” Cadance asked.

“In addition to gaining his form, Michael also gained Jonathan’s strength and abilities, including one that would become vital to our cause,” Luna replied.

“As a vampire Dio Brando was weak to sunlight,” Celestia began. “However, to avoid my sun-based spells he often took hostages so that I would be unable to harm him without striking them as well. In addition, I once tried to raise the sun and simply destroy him, but he had planned for that as well always had an escape planned just in case. In addition, causing the sun to suddenly rise sent waves of panic through the entire world.”

“Dio Brando had also created minions to combat us with, resurrected corpses and horrifying fusions of monsters to harass us ,” Luna added. “It was when a group of theses minions attacked Canterlot that Jonathan’s power became clear.”

“What power?” Shining Armor asked.

The two sisters shared a glance and nodded as Celestia dismissed the image. They both began to take in a deep breath and as they did electricity seemed to spark along their bodies. This was particularly shocking as they weren’t using any magic from their horns. Luna raised a hoof and soon fire sprang into existence around it. Celestia stomped one hoof on the ground and the electric power shot across the ground before traveling up a stone pillar, onto the ceiling, then down a chandelier, and finally causing the candles above to light.

Everypony else looked on, completely flabbergasted.

“What in tarnation was that!?” Applejack asked.

Luna dispelled the fire around her hoof before replying. “The power is called ‘Hamon’, or ‘The Ripple.’ It is a power that allows one to generate and unleash a power similar to that of the very sun through their own body. Jonathan taught us the art of using this power for combat against the undead, the art of ‘Sendo.’”

“It’s an amazingly versatile power that can create fire, send shockwaves through the ground, water, metal, even other organic material. It can heal broken bones and increase one’s physical strength and stamina. It relies on having full control of one’s breathing at all times, never succumbing to anger, fear, or anxiety. Anyone can learn it, though they have to have the physical strength and will to be able to do so.”

“With this power we were finally able to challenge Dio Brando, though it was no means an easy fight. His vampiric composition made him an incredibly difficult opponent to match,” Luna continued. “He could punch through solid stone, bend metal with his bare hands, even survive and regenerate from wounds that would kill any normal being. He could also absorb the blood and life of others to heal his wounds, either through his fangs or his fingers, and could even shoot pressurized liquid from his eyes with enough force to pierce stone.”

“One ability, however, was by far the most lethal. He could cause others to freeze merely by touching them,” Celestia continued. “This was particularly problematic as Hamon requires a proper bloodstream to conduct, not to mention it could turn the body weak and brittle, easily broken. In the end, however, we did triumph and Dio Brando was destroyed.”

The room was quiet as everypony else processed what they were told.

“Wow, and Ah thought Pinkie had some bizarre stories,” Applejack commented.

Luna chuckled. “Quite amusing you should use that word, as we would later find out the name of the story Jonathan and Dio were from was called ‘Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.’”

“Moving on, through investigation we discovered that Dio Brando had a device with him,” Celestia continued, showing an image of the mask Dio was holding. “Called simply ‘the Stone Mask’, it was what the Dio Brando of the story used to transform himself from an ordinary human into a vampire. By coming in contact with blood it would extend spikes from itself and pierce the brain, causing a transformation. Most importantly, however, was that Jonathan was able to deduce that this device was what was responsible for transforming and transporting the other man to our world.”

“Wait, how did he figure that out?” Twilight asked.

The image changed to that of the longsword. “Because Michael’s sword, Luck & Pluck, brought him here. He said it was not originally part of his costume but he bought it from vendor in his world, one that he suspects knew what would happen.”

“So, what happened next?” Pinkie Pie asked, munching on a bucket of popcorn she had somehow acquired.

“As we said before, we officially christened Jonathan as a noble of Equestria. He brought with him knowledge from his world which was much more technologically advanced than our own and provided much in the ways of agriculture and infrastructure. Also he was a student of economics and business before he was spirited to our world. He also helped a certain merchant rise to prominence by sharing his knowledge: Speedwagon the First.”

“‘Speedwagon!?’” Rarity asked in shock. “The Speedwagon!? Founder of the Speedwagon foundation!? The oldest, richest, and most technologically advanced business in the world!? My word!”

“Indeed,” Luna said, taking over the conversation. “To move on, Jonathan helped Equestria in any way he could for another century before his passing. He was roughly twenty years old when he came to Equestria and though the life expectancy of his race was somewhere in the seventies to eighties Hamon user age more slowly. He… was a great friend,” Luna hesitated for a moment.

“L-Luna? Twilight asked, approaching her Princess and friend. “Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes, Twilight it’s just… Because of Dio’s vampiric nature he had to operate at night. Because of this the Equestrian citizens began to fear my night instead of appreciating it. It wore on me greatly. My sister tried to comfort me as much she could, but we both had our duties. Jonathan, however, had less responsibilities and stayed by my side to comfort me as much as he could.” Lune wiped a tear from her eye. “After he died… It was not even a month before I became Nightmare Moon.”

Celestia draped her wing over her sister and smiled sadly. The girls, Spike, and Cadance all ran up and hugged the Princess while Shining Armor did his best to discreetly dry his eyes.

“Anyway, this tale is not yet over. Though I have done some reading, Celestia was the only one of us present, so she should tell you what happened next.”

The group released Luna as Celestia nodded. “About three hundred year after Nightmare Moon, another human arrived. I never got his true name, as he refused to tell me, but instead went by the name of the character he had become: Joseph Joestar. Like Jonathan, he also had the nickname ‘Jojo.’” She focused and another image appeared, this of another man. This one had a wild and spiky black mane and blue eyes, a confident smirk on his face. He was dressed in a tight fitting turquoise shirt that left his abdominal muscles exposed. His gloves and pants were also turquoise, he wore a brown belt and boots, and around his neck was light green scarf with red stripes. He also wore a multicolored headband around his forehead.

“Hey, he looks pretty cool!” Rainbow Dash commented.

“He could use a bit of fashion advice in my own opinion,” Rarity said.

“In the Jojo series, Joseph was Jonathan Joestar’s grandson, and the new hero of the story. Unlike his grandfather, however, he was quite different in personality. He was brash, cocky, quick to anger, and was constantly joking and somewhat lazy.”

“Sounds like somepony else I know,” Applejack commented, looking to Rainbow Dash who stuck her tongue out in retaliation.

"Though he was also a Hamon user he fought very differently from Jonathan or ourselves." Celestia continued. "Joseph was not unwilling to use any and every method available to gain victory. He would lay traps, play dead, use hidden weapons, anything he felt was necessary to defeat his opponent."

"Sounds like a dirty cheat," Applejack grumbled.

"Yes, I and many of the other citizens, the Royal Guard especially, condemned his methods initially. But something he said changed our minds. I believe his exact words were 'In a real fight there are no rules. Winners live and losers die. If you were in a life or death situation and the only way for you to escape would be to use a dirty trick, would you take that option and live or would you let yourself get killed just because it wouldn't be fair?'"

“Uh, well…” Applejack stuttered, unable to form a response.

“He had the right idea,” Shining Armor commented, surprising many.

“Shining?” Twilight asked, surprised not only by his response but his steely gaze.

“You can’t do anything if you’re dead. If it means staying alive so I can protect the ponies close to me, you’d better believe I’d do whatever it takes to win and stay alive.”

“Anyway,” Celestia continued, “When I explained to him that a similar situation had happened before he warned us that we would be fighting a group of four beings referred to collectively as the ‘Pillar Men.’ Like vampires, they would be weak to sunlight and fed off others but were actually much stronger and didn’t just absorb blood but absorbed other’s bodies into themselves. However, interestingly enough, none of them appeared. Instead, it seemed that Dio Brando was not done tormenting us. Though we destroyed the original stone mask it seemed that he had created one suited for ponies and now there were a large number of vamponies causing havoc. It seemed that they had waited for Jonathan to die and then began gathering their numbers. Though not as powerful as Dio Brando, they were still formidable.”

“Whoa, whoa, so vamponies really are real?” Spike asked.

“Were real. Joseph saw to that, as despite his somewhat arrogant behavior he agreed to help, mostly because, in his own words, ‘we’d be lost without him’. Through the many fights that I witnessed him participate in it was clear that Joseph had a particular way of battling. Namely, he saw his opponents not as foes to overcome but as problems to be solved. He did not overpower his enemies, he outsmarted them. He was exceptionally good at reading his opponents, even to the point that he would often say what they were going to say right before they said it. I learned much from watching him.”

“Ha! Are you kidding me? You made this guy sound like a bad flank, but you’re saying he was an egghead?” Rainbow asked. “Heh. It’s a good thing I wasn’t around to show him up!”

Celestia smirked. “Would you like to see how he fought?”

“Huh?”

The image flashed for a moment. At first it seemed like nothing happened until the image of Joseph smirked. A moment later it began to audibly crack it’s nuckles.

“So, you think I’m some lame egghead, Huh?” the image asked with a deep voice, dripping with confidence. “Looks like I have to teach the skittle-headed pegasus brat a lesson!”

“Who you calling brat!?” she shouted back, seeming to forget this was only an illusion.

Joseph chuckled. “Feast your eyes on this!” he proclaimed, moving his hands when suddenly a pair of metal balls on strings fell from his right hand, clacking as they struck together. “I call it ‘Hamon Clacker!’ Don’t think that just because you’re not a vampire that my power won’t work on you!” Electric power leaped from his hand down to the metal balls as he spun them before swinging them around his body. He then tucked them behind his elbow, only for it to swing up and strike him in the head. “OW!” he shouted as he flinched.

Rainbow laughed. “Are you serious!? What a loser!”

Joseph growled. “Damn it. I’ll teach you to take me seriously!” he shouted as he pulled out another pair of clackers on his other hand. He sent his power through them again, spinning them wildly in a dangerous show.

“Heh. Nice performance. But I get bored if things just happen the same way over and over,” Rainbow gloated, folding her forelegs.

“Then how’s about a new trick?” he gloated, opening his hands, only for the two pairs of clackers to disappear.

“Wh-What!?”

“Heh heh. What’s wrong? Can’t figure it out?” he gloated.

Twilight then noticed the strings leading from his hands to his elbows and then behind his back.

“RAINBOW, LOOK-!” she shouted.

“THEN LET ME SHOW YOU!” Joseph yelled, thrusting his palms forward and causing the four clacker balls to shoot forwards from behind him.

Rainbow Dash barely managed to dodge the attack, and both pairs of clackers flew off the human’s hands, rocketing far away from him. “Heh. Not bad. You had me going there,” Rainbow chuckled.

Joseph stepped back, his face full of terror. “W-Wait! Hold on! that’s all I’ve got! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Oh really?” Rainbow asked, a confident smirk on her face as she hovered closer. “Is that all?”

Joseph continued to sweat before grinning and pointing a finger at her. “Your next line will be ‘some legendary hero this loser turned out to be.’”

“Some legendary hero this loser turned out to be… huh?” Rainbow stopped, looking in shock.

“DASHIE, BEHIND YOU!” Pinkie shouted.

Rainbow turned just in time to see one of the clackers flying at her face. Too late to dodge, she closed her eyes and waited for the pain… only for none to come. She opened her eyes and saw that one of the clackers was embedded into the wall. She turned to see that the other was now held by Joseph. A moment later Joseph and his weapons disappeared.

“Quite impressive,” Luna commented.

Celestia smirked back. “You’re not the only one good at illusions, sister.”

“Actually, I meant the strategy. Distracting her with the weapons, injuring oneself to lower their guard, making them think your trick was all you had, only for the true attack to come from behind after they think they’ve won. Quite cunning. I would’ve liked to have met this man.”

“Y-Yeah!? W-Well, if this was real I would’ve-!” Rainbow Dash started.

“Had a concussion?” Pinkie Pie finished.

Rainbow blubbered, trying to form a response, only to hang her head in defeat. “Yeah.”

Celestia chuckled. “Moving on. It took a few decades, but with Joseph’s help we eliminated all of the vamponies and stone masks. But Joseph’s role was not yet over. Over several decades he had grown older and wiser, mellowing out but not losing the same spark he once had.”

Celestia activated her magic once again and projected a new image, the man now being shown was considerably older, possessing a full grey beard and wrinkled skin. Despite this he was still very muscular, his definition clearly showing through the yellow t-shirt he wore. He wore brown pants and black shoes, white gloves and brown fedora. It took her a moment, but Twilight recognized him by the blue eyes.

“Wait, that’s Joseph?” she asked in surprise. “How old is he?”

“Almost seventy.”

“Seventy!?” Rarity gasped. “My goodness, he aged gracefully!”

“As we mentioned, Hamon users live longer and age slower,” Luna reminded.

“Goodness. I may have to inquire into the art myself,” Rarity commented, her eyes seeming to glaze over as she daydreamed. Applejack and Rainbow rolled their eyes.

“Over this time, Joseph gained a new ability, one that would change things drastically for all of us,” Celestia continued as she made the image of Joseph hold up his right hand. Suddenly a mass of violet vines burst from seemingly nowhere, entwining themselves around his hand.

“Wh-What is that?” Cadance asked.

“He called it ‘Hermit Purple.’ It could extend from his hand and strike his opponents or grapple onto objects and pull them towards him, or even pull himself towards larger objects for traversal. Since it was a part of him he could also conduct Hamon through it. But one unique ability it had was that it could project an image of whom or what he wanted to see by destroying something with it. Cameras had just begun to be developed, so the ability found use, even if it was a bit expensive, but he could even make use of something as simple as sand. Though it didn’t fit the normal description of them, it would be Equus' first Stand.”

“‘Stand!?’ Stands are real, too!?” Twilight asked, her enthusiasm practically radiating from her eyes.

“Uh, what’s a ‘Stand’?” Applejack asked.

“A Stand is a physical manifestation of one’s psyche and spiritual aptitude. They are all unique and possess a variety of unique abilities, many being metaphysical in nature,” Twilight answered happily.

“Uh...”

“It’s a power based of your soul and they can do things that shouldn’t be physically possible,” Spike clarified after rolling his eyes.

“Oh.”

Twilight blushed as her friends and family giggled. She cleared her throat before turning back to her mentor. “I thought Stands were a myth.”

“I was once a myth, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna quipped. “So was Discord, and the Elements of Harmony. Not all knowledge can be found in books.” Twilight looked surprised, but recovered and nodded.

“Moving on, Joseph’s Stand manifesting could not have come at a better time, as another one of his kind was transported to our world.” She conjured her magic and another image appeared. Like those before it the figure was tall and muscular, his outfit eye-catching. He wore a yellow jacket that cut off at his abdomen and ended at his wrists with golden cuffs, and under that was a dark green form-fitting shirt with what looked like a dog collar around his neck. Across his waist was a yellow belt with a green suspenders hanging from it and a heart-shaped belt buckle on the front. His pants were also yellow, and he had green heart shaped knee pads. His shoes were golden and ended in points the bent upwards. Around his forehead was a green circlet, again with a heart on the front. But what surprised them was that the human’s, or rather vampire’s, face was familiar to them, with a blonde mane, red eyes, and a confident and condescending smirk.

“Dio Brando!? He came back!?” Dash shouted.

“In a way,” Celestia began. “Joseph would explain to me that in the original story of ‘Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’ that despite Jonathan Joestar triumphing over Dio Brando, the vampire survived as merely a head. He would go on and kill Jonathan, with intents to take his body as his own. Though he succeeded he would end up trapped in a sunken ship at the bottom of the sea for nearly a century. Some explorers would eventually discover him and accidentally release him from his fate, and he would attempt to control the world again with his new body. As a testament to his rebirth he would rename himself as simply DIO. The one who would arrive at this time was another human who had worn an outfit of this latter version.”

“So this was a different man, even though he had the same face,” Twilight said.

“Due to possessing a different body this DIO no longer possessed all of his former abilities. However, he was still incredibly strong, fast and resilient. He could still regenerate and fed on blood, and he was also weak to sunlight and Hamon. However, he now had a power much greater than his previous form.”

Shining Armor’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me he-”

Celestia summoned her magic again and a figure appeared behind DIO. Unlike the other figures its skin was grey, and it was dressed in an odd garments that looked like a gross between armor and a diving suit, having a helmet the covered the top half of its head and angled upwards and seemed to be connected to breathing gear on its back. It’s eyes were yellow and it had green heart emblems on its knees, belt, and even its chin. Much of its outfit looked similar to DIO’s.

“This was DIO’s Stand, ‘The World.’ Unlike Hermit Purple, this Stand was made for combat. It was as strong as he was, fast enough to strike its enemies dozens of times before they could even blink, and it could even fly. Like many Stands of this nature it had two distinct weaknesses: it could only travel up to roughly two yards in front of it, and any damage it sustained DIO would also receive. However, it had one terrifying ability that made it extremely deadly: it could stop time. Though only for a few seconds from his own perspective, DIO and his Stand would be able to move and attack his enemies while all of time around him would stay still."

Everypony shivered, except for Luna who seemed to have already been told of this ability. Shining Armor himself was shaking, his military mind understanding better than the rest what kind of advantage such an ability gave.

He could approach any defense and bypass it no matter what. He could kill his enemies without them even knowing why they died.

“B-But there was another one who came to beat him, right? Just like before?” Spike asked.

Celestia hesitated before continuing. “In the original story, DIO was eventually defeated by a group of Stand users. Two of them included the older Joseph Joestar and this man.”

She summoned her magic once more and a new image appeared, replacing the previous one. Another tall hulking human, this one had black hair and green eyes, his expression deathly serious. He wore a black high collared jacket that flowed down to his knees like a cape, and a large golden chain hung from the left collar down to his abdomen, and underneath that was a pink shirt. His pants and shoes were also black, and he had two belts around his waist, one purple and orange, the other turquoise and orange, both with a triangle pattern. Finally he wore a black cap, a golden metal circle and a square with a hand emblazoned on it resting on the brim. The cap also had no back.

“This was Joseph’s grandson, Jotaro Kujo. In the story he was the one who directly battled and eventually defeated DIO. As you’ve no doubt guessed, he was also a Stand user.”

As she focused her magic and another figure appeared. Like The World, this Stand was also physically intimidating and human in appearance. Its skin was two tones of blue and was covered in yellow tattoos, separating the tone changes. Its mane and eyes were black, the wild strands of hair extending down to its shoulders. It wore what looked like a yellow scarf around its neck and wore golden shoulder pads, knee pads, and a golden circlet while it wore black gloves and shoes. Its only other piece of clothing was a white loincloth that went down to its knees.

“Joetaro’s Stand was ‘Star Platinum’. As you can guess, it is very similar to The World, possessing similar strength, speed, range, and durability. It also can extend its fingers roughly two yards away from it to attack, is very precise, can spot things from roughly two and a half miles away, and even reacts on its own to defend Joetaro. In addition, though he himself cannot move Star Platinum can move for a few seconds when time stops, and eventually in his final battle with DIO was able to gain the ability to stop time as well, though not as efficiently as The World could.”

“Awesome! So after DIO showed up, Jotaro came and you all kicked his flank, right?” Rainbow guessed.

“Not quite, I’m afraid. DIO, or ‘Anthony Mathers’ as I would later find out he was originally called, arrived in Equestria, as I said. Naturally, recognizing his appearance, Joseph and I immediately attempted to destroy him, but he escaped. For six months he eluded us and the rest of the Guard, always managing to stay ahead of us. While he ran he fed on the blood of ponies, like he had to to survive, but never did he drain enough to actually kill anypony. Thinking it odd, Joseph and I attempted to capture and question him rather than kill him, but he still evaded us. Unfortunately, our attention was averted when the Giffonia suddenly attacked.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re talking about the war after the revolution in Griffonia?”

“‘Revolution?’” Shining Armor asked. Even as the captain of the Royal Guard, he wasn’t familiar with this information.

“It was said that before the sudden and vicious attack from Griffonia there was a revolution lasting several months. A warrior rose up and managed to gather many griffins under his leadership before… before he killed King Gerard and took the throne…” Twilight’s eyes widened in realization before turning to her mentor. “Princess Celestia, are you saying that-?”

“Yes Twilight. The one who had become Jotaro was the one who conquered Griffonia and made them attack us,” Celestia answered. “In addition, Anthony happened to be in Trottingham, one of the cities that was first attacked, and defended those he could. This time it was DIO who aided Equestria, and the next Jojo was our enemy.” Everypony was too shocked to reply, so she continued. “Joseph and I managed to meet with Anthony and he agreed to help us, though hesitantly after what we had done over the months. He proved integral to ending the war, which thankfully only lasted another four months. Anthony, Joseph, and I battled and defeated Jotaro, but he was a very powerful opponent. Joseph was killed in battle and Anthony managed to kill Jotaro. Afterwards the griffons surrendered and I helped reinstate proper heir, Prince Galahad, back onto the throne.”

“Wait, but aren’t vampires immortal? Why isn’t Anthony still around?” Spike asked.

Celestia’s expression grew somber. “Anthony had to survive off my blood to continue to live, and it kept weakening me, if only slightly. In addition to this, he realized that after having three rounds of arrivals from his world with powers from the story that more would likely be coming. He spent the next year tirelessly writing a book that described any and all characters that might come here. This book gave their names, appearances, powers, personalities, weaknesses, motivations, and even histories of every character up to part seven of the story. He mentioned that part eight was being made, but it wasn’t finished, so anything he wrote might change. Afterwards he… he asked me to destroy him. He said that one of the later villains would require a piece of DIO’s body in order to complete his ultimate goal, and the only way to be sure he wouldn’t get it was if he was completely disintegrated. I... I tried to argue with him, but in the end I knew he was right and I completely destroyed him with my sun magic.”

The room was completely quiet. Tears were welling up in everypony’s eyes and Pinkie could only hold hold back so long before bawling as waterfalls of tears sprung from their eyes. The girls did their best to comfort each other.

Eventually everypony settled down and Celestia began again. “This man, in the guise of a terrible villain, became one of Equestria’s greatest saviors. Even though I had hunted him down and tried to kill him he still fought and died for us, and even left us with the information to prepare ourselves in the future. He went completely against the role that would’ve been so easy for him to play.” Celestia’s gaze then hardened, causing everypony but Luna to flinch. “It is for that reason, and that reason alone, that I have not already killed the man that lies unconscious in this palace.”

Once again, the throne room was silent, many unable to comprehend that such a level of malice could come from their motherly Princess.

“Sister, is he truly-?”

“One of the worst, Luna. A creature so despicable I can still barely fathom it.”

“What is his name?”

“Yoshikage Kira.”

“And you say he is unconcious?”

“He passed out after introducing himself for some reason.”

“I see. I’ll look to the reference, then I will investigate.”

“‘Investigate?’” Cadance asked.

“His dreams, of course. Now excuse me for a moment,” Luna explained with a bow before teleporting out of the throne room, leaving the rest to wonder just how close they came to death.

Five minutes had passed before Luna put down the book, having read the full article on Yoshikage Kira. She shuddered before teleporting to the medical wing, leaving the book open to the page. Three lines were stuck in her mind.

If personality is intact:
Threat level without “Bites the Dust”: EXTREMELY HIGH, KILL ON SIGHT.
Threat level with “Bites the Dust”: HIGHEST THREAT LEVEL. KILL BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Author's Note

So yeah, this took a while, even for being a big chapter. Of course my other fic has been taking up most of my time.

So yeah, Jonathan hasn't been the first one, and Celestia isn't oblivious to what he can do either. In addition, we have the conflict between Jonathan and his role. I don't have much experience with this kind of thing, but I'm trying to make it so that it's more dueling personalities than dueling identities.

Finally, this serves as kind of a primer for those not familiar with Jojo, the mane six, Spike, Shining and Cadence standing in for the audience. I hope it wasn't too much.

Anyway, probably won't be back to this for a while, so I hope you guys enjoy for now.

Planning for Variables

Staff Sergeant Firebrand stared at the strange creature before him, ready to blast it with a spell if necessary. He had a hard time believing this thing could be as dangerous as they had been lead to believe, though. It didn't appear to be particularly fit, was dressed like a white collar worker, and overall seemed somehow... plain in appearance. Even still he wasn't one to question the Princess.

At that moment Princess Luna teleported in, startling everypony. They were about to relax when they noticed the grim expression on her face.

"Everypony be prepared to act at a moment's notice, but do not unless I say," she ordered. She then took a breath to calm herself before lighting her horn. She close her eyes and touched it to the creature's head.

"Can you hear me?"

W-What? Who's that? Where-? Ugh, what happened?

"Please do not be alarmed. You are in no danger. Your body is being cared for in the realm of the waking."

I tried to process what she said while trying to find the source of the voice.

"Why can't I see you?" I asked.

"Because I have not wished it yet."

"Why?"

"... Because you may be dangerous to me."

'Dangerous?'

"Yes. You possess a terrifying power. What I do not know is whether or not you have hesitations about using it."

'Terrifying power?' What is she-? Wait, did she read my thoughts?

"I did. Little is hidden from me in this realm."

"'This realm?'"

"Yes, the world of dreams."

"I'm... asleep?"

"Indeed."

"... I know you're afraid of me, but... Can you tell me who you are?"

"I am Princess Luna, Diarch of Equestria, and Mistress of the Night."

'Luna?' That name sounds familiar... That's right, she's one of those alicorns a that-

Suddenly the memories of everything that happened to me rushed into my head.

...Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohsh-

"A-Are you alright, Yoshi-?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

I could feel her recoil in shock.

"PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T CALL ME THAT NAME!"

"You... You aren't threatening me. You're warning me."

"Yes, I am. Look, I... Ever since I was young I find it very easy to slip into roles, characters from plays or movies. Sometimes a little too easily... and a little too deeply. When I was in middle school I... I hurt someone. I did it because it was something the character would've done, not because it was something I would've done. I didn't even realize what I did until he snapped me out of it."

"By Mother..."

"That's why, more than anything, I need you to not call me that name. You have no idea what a sick and heartless monster the form I'm stuck in is."

"Actually, I do. I know of that character's disposition, and the terrifying ability he possesses."

She knows? How does she- Never mind, not important. "Look, I know this may be a long shot here, but... Is there any way you can change me back to who I was? You have magic in this world, and if what I've heard is true you're incredibly powerful. Is there anything you can do to help me?"

"...I'm sorry, but we tried before on another. We were unsuccessful."

The gravity of what she said hit me. The thoughts of all the terrible things I could do and desperate ploys on all the ways I might be able to stop it raced through my mind. In the end, I decided on one solution

"Then you should kill me."

I could feel her stunned reaction.

"P-Pardon!?"

"You should understand now, I'm too dangerous to be woken up, and leaving me here to sleep would be even worse than death."

"You... Truly wish to die?"

"Of course not, but... I don't want to kill anyone. I don't want to become a monster."

I could feel an intense sadness permeate the realm, before feeling something vastly different. I could only describe it as a gentle determination.

"What is your name?"

"Jonathan Sanders. Please remember me as that."

"I will, and so shall everypony else you meet."

Wait, what?

"As Princess of Equestria, I cannot allow such a soul to be snuffed out. Not without exhausting every option."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD HOW DANGEROUS I AM!"

"Is a soldier not dangerous, even to those he protects? I believe you can live a life worthy of your kind heart. We must only take precautions."

Before I could protest further a figure appeared before me, similar to Celestia but with a dark blue coat and black jewelry. Her hair and tail shimmered like a starry sky, and I immediately felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"Be at peace, Jonathan Sanders. You will not become the monster you fear. I will make sure of it," she said with a gentle smile. "Now, awaken."

Light filled my vision as I felt my senses return to me.

You better know what you're doing.

About fifteen minutes later the ponies and dragon still in the throne room were shocked to find the human being led in by Luna. Their fear was only abated by their curiosity, seeing him blindfolded and being led along by gently holding onto Luna’s withers. As he walked along, five unicorn and ten pegasus guards following behind him, eyeing him warily.

“L-Luna, what is this?” Celestia asked.

“Your sister seems to think it’s a good idea to risk the lives of your people even though I’m a huge threat to all of you. Personally, I think you should just cut the knot and kill me,” the human cut in.

The room went quiet once again, many stunned at that response.

“Luna… what is this?” Celestia asked again.

Luna cleared her throat. “This is Jonathan Sanders. Due a certain condition of his, he feels that the best solution to ensure the safety of all of us would be for us to end his life. I would like to think otherwise.”

“‘C-Condition?’” Twilight asked nervously.

“Ever roleplay before?” Jonathan asked.

“Um, yes?”

“Let’s just say that I have some difficulty stopping,” he replied.

Most of the ponies just stared in confusion. A few of them, however, understood the gravity of what he said and tensed nervously.

“Luna-” Celestia began.

“Sister, I understand your feelings on the matter, but I will not allow a being’s life to be snuffed out for the damage they might cause. It is our duty to give them the chance to prove themselves and, failing that, turn them to light. Just as you, your student, and her companions once did for me.”

Celestia grimaced. She didn’t need to be reminded of her own mistakes with Luna. She closed her eyes and thought for a moment before sighing.

“Alright, you’ve made your point. It would be against everything Equestria stands for to not at least try.”

“Thank you, sister,” Luna smiled.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Do you even hear yourselves!? I thought you understood just what kind of threat I could pose!” Jonathan shouted.

“I know, but Luna’s right, I can’t just in good conscious order you dead when you’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, you’ve helped us,” Celestia replied calmly.

“Why!? WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID!?” he shouted back, surprising everypony. The guards gripped their weapons and readied their magic. “DON’T YOU GET IT!? HOW ARE YOU NOT-!?”

“Stop it!” Fluttershy shouted with surprising volume before hovering over to Jonathan and holding his hand in her hooves, causing him to flinch. “It’s alright. It’s ok to be scared. But we’re going to help you. I promise.”

Jonathan calmed down bit but still looked nervous. Luna then put her wing over him.

“Please. Let us help you. Trust us,” she pleaded.

Jonathan remained silent, then after a few moments reached for the blindfold. He hesitated for a moment longer before slowly taking it off. Even with it removed he has his eyes closed, his hands shaking in fear. After a few more deep breaths he opened his eyes to see the smiling faces of Fluttershy and Princess Luna.

“Are you alright, Jonathan?” Luna asked.

Jonathan examined himself, then scanned over the room. “... Nothing so far,” he replied hesitantly.

Most of the room sighed in relief, but Celestia still remained cautious. “Well, I’m glad that things so to be ok for now, but I’d like to keep you under surveillance for a while, if you don’t mind.”

“... That sounds rather vexing, but I suppose I can tolerate it for now.”

Celestia tensed at the sudden change in tone and vocabulary, while the others either looked confused or didn’t notice anything.

Jonathan began to twirl one of his bangs with his finger as he gazed at Celestia with his cold and analytical eyes. “Considering that your city was just attacked, I’m sure you have more important matters to attend to than me. For now, I will cooperate provided you speak with me before the day is done. I also request a private room and a something to eat,” he continued in a calm and even voice.

“...Very well. Firebrand, if you could escort Jonathan here to one of the guest rooms and have some food brought to him,” Celestia ordered.

“Cream of tomato soup, if you please,” Jonathan requested as he adjusted his tie. “If you can manage it.”

Firebrand and the other guards bowed to Celestia as they led Jonathan out, who calmly followed.

“Twilight, Luna and I would like to speak with you later, but for now I think you and your friends need some rest,” she said. “Shining Armor, you take care of Cadance, she looks famished. Luna and I will take care of your duties.”

Shining looked surprised but turned to his bride to be and smiled before bowing back to Celestia. “Thank you, Princess. I appreciate it,” he said before leading Cadance out, both of them smiling as she leaned against him for support.

The girls and Spike all left, discussing things with each other, while Celestia approached Luna, her face grim.

“You noticed it, didn’t you?” Celestia asked. Luna hesitantly nodded. “Are you still sure about this? We’re making a very dangerous gamble here.”

“I’m not so foalish as to trust him unconditionally, sister, merely doing everything I can to make sure everything turns out well,” Luna replied firmly. “I would’ve also asked to speak with Twilight Sparkle if you didn’t.”

Celestia pondered that for a moment. “Well… if nothing else, I doubt he’ll cause trouble, even if he is slipping into character. After all, Kira is the kind of person who hates to stand out, and he knows we have our eye on him.”

“He’s Jonathan. Not Kira,” Luna said firmly.

“... For now, at least.”

Kira took another spoonful of the tomato soup that had been brought to him, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Outside he may have appeared calm and collected, ignoring the glares of “Firebrand” and the other ponies, who seemed to be waiting for him to make one wrong move. Inside, however, there was a heated debate going on.

This is my body. This is my life. You are not going to dictate what happens to it.

So long as nothing happens to impede my preferred tranquil existence, I shall allow you to do as you please.

“ALLOW ME!?” I’M IN CHARGE HERE!

Obviously you aren’t, at least for the moment.

DO YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND I’M JUST GOING TO SIT BY AND LET YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT!? I WANT TO GET HOME!

Do you think that would be wise? Traveling back to our home where we could blend into a crowd, where I would have plenty of new ‘girlfriends’ to choose from, where none would be prepared for my powers?

…

Besides, I have a feeling we won’t be able to go back.

What makes you say that?

Kira took another sip of his soup and wiped his mouth.

You asked Princess Luna before about being changed back, and she said she and her sister tried on another and failed. If they were unable to return one to their original state, what makes you think they would have the power to return them to their homeworld?

Maybe after hearing they couldn’t be turned back they decided to stay.

Perhaps. Though that once again raises the issue of why you wouldn’t want that.

… So what do you want?

Why ask a question you know the answer to?

Well fuck that. You know that at least for now we’re both equally powerful here. I could take back control now, and the only reason I’m not is because those unicorns might decide to blast us if they notice a change.

I wouldn’t attack them. Attacking an authority figure would ruin my chances at a peaceful existence.

A “peaceful existence” with the occasional mare remains stuffed into you pocket?

I don’t have any attraction towards hooves. They lack the wonderful, slender digits I desire.

OK, PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT, THANK YOU!

At that moment the door opened and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna entered. The guards opened a path for them and they stepped forwards, stopping out of arm’s reach. Celestia’s gaze was firm while Luna’s was noticeably worried.

“Jonathan,” Celestia began.

Your turn.

Kira twitch slightly, a barely noticeable jitter.

“Uh, yeah?” I asked.

Immediately both Princesses relaxed slightly.

As I thought. They’re aware of the change.

You shut up.

“We have a few things we’d like to discuss with you, if that’s alright,” Celestia continued.

“Sure, if you don’t mind answering a few of mine.”

“Of course.”

“First of all, I heard that you two ‘raise the sun and moon.’ Uh, well, not to insult you, but-”

“We are fully aware that your home planet revolves around your Sun,” Luna interrupted. “However, my sister really does move the sun here, and I the moon.”

“I’m sure you’re going to ask us to prove it, so…” she trailed off, motioning towards the window. Jonathan watched the Sun set rapidly, only to quickly move back even further than it was before, before quickly righting itself.

So it is true. How odd.

No kidding.

I suppose that’s even more incentive for me not to erase them.

… I’ll take what little comfort I can get from that.

“And I think I know the answer to this one, but… you don’t have the power to send me back to my world, do you?” I asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Luna sighed.

“Figures. So, what did you want to ask me?”

Celestia hesitated a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry to tell you this Jonathan, but knowing the power you wield and the… condition you have, I can’t just allow you to walk around on your own. And yet, as my sister has convinced me, I can’t just treat you like a criminal either. I’d like to make some arrangements with you about your living conditions and some rules to be set in place.”

“‘Rules?’”

“I’m afraid that I’m going to have to have you under surveillance at all times. I can’t simply allow you go where you wish, not with the potential danger you could pose.”

She’s talking to both of us.

What?

She’s using “you” in the plural sense.

How can you tell?

It should be obvious. How annoying, but I suppose if I want to live a quiet life I have no choice. Agree with her.

You bet I’m gonna agree! Anything to keep you in check!

Just say it.

“Alright, I think that’s fine,” I replied.

“Next, I think it would be best if we relocated you. Canterlot is a very crowded city, one for the affluent and socially powerful. Unfortunately, this has caused some… elitist behavior to grow here, and many would likely be antagonistic towards you, if not directly. I’d prefer to avoid conflict.

Agreed.

“That’s fine. I don’t think this is the kind of place I’d like to live anyhow.”

“And finally, for that reason, I think it would be best if you remained in the palace until tomorrow. Our niece Cadance and the Guard Captain Shining Armor are getting married, and after the recent attack by Chrysalis and the changelings I don’t want the partygoers to mistake you for some kind of monster and start panicking.”

I groaned a bit, but shrugged. “That’s fine. It’s not like I was invited anyway.”

Celestia nodded. “We’ll be back to discuss more with you in a-”

I twitched slightly.

“No. We have more to discuss at the moment,” Kira demanded coolly.

Celestia and Luna both tensed, as did the guards.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

They’re trying to push us to the side for later. There are issues that need to be handled now.

“You said you have no intention of me living here in Canterlot. In that case, I want to have my place of residence to be chosen. I’m not suggesting you were attempting to be rude, however if there is a wedding that you two are to be involved in then you would likely not be back for some time. I’d like to have theses details settled before you commence your merriment.”

“... Very well,” Luna replied.

“So if not Canterlot, where you recommend I live?”

Luna looked to her sister, who had closed her eyes with a pondering look on her face. Eventually, she spoke up.

“There is a town not too far from here called Ponyville. It’s a small, agricultural based town, and although it’s population isn’t too exactly sparse it’s not particularly crowded either,” Celestia suggested.

“Ponyville?” Really?

I get the feeling we should get used to that.

“It sounds lovely.”

“Good. Anything else?”

“Of course. I’ll require a house, a job, and any form of identification needed to be a citizen of the town, and this country as a whole. I’d also like to request enough of whatever currency you use to last me for a year on the off chance that I won’t be able to find or would lose a job. Think of it as a reward for helping to save your citizens. Anything else I can handle on my own.”

Pushy, aren’t you?

All I’m requesting are what is necessary for an average livelihood, and a safety net in case things go poorly. I don’t believe I’m asking for much.

Celestia sighed. “Alright. What kind of job would you like?”

“Something without a need for manual labor. An office job of some kind would be best.”

“Very well, I’ll see what I can do. Stay here tonight, please?”

Kira nodded and went back to his soup.

Hey, why am I not back in control?

Because you don’t appreciate this soup as much as I do.

What kind of reason is that!?

Celestia, Luna, and all her guards exited the room, closing the door behind them.

“Firebrand, I’m going to assign you to watching over them. Please pick two other guards to assist you, and make sure to inform them this will be a long term assignment,” Celestia ordered.

“Oh course, your majesty. But what do you mean ‘them’?” the unicorn asked.

“It would be unwise to think of him as one person,” Luna answered. “That being is Jonathan Sanders, but he is also Yoshikage Kira. One we would very much prefer to live a peaceful life, but the other is dangerous. This will be a very unique problem for you, so please take care in choosing who will assist you with it.”

“The rest of you stay here and guard him,” Celestia ordered. “Don’t let him leave, but try not to make him feel trapped either. If he requests food, place his orders with the kitchen. Anything else, make sure to contact me or Luna first.

They all saluted before Firebrand left to choose his comrades.

Two beings sharing the same body? What exactly am I getting into?

It was now late in the evening, Luna having raised the moon. The wedding party had died down and everypony was getting ready to turn in.

“Twilight Sparkle, may I have a word with you?” Luna asked as Twilight gave the microphone back to DJ-Pon3.

“Huh? Oh, Princess Luna! Yes, I’d be more than happy to help you.”

“Thank you. Twilight, my sister and I have a very important task that we wish for you to perform,” she said before reaching into a saddlebag and pulling out a large tome.

Twilight’s eyes widened as she saw the title:

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: A Comprehensive Guide

By Anthony Mathers

“Th-This is-!”

“Twilight, you should familiarize yourself with the basics of this book, as well as one passage in particular,” Luna continued, snapping the unicorn out of her shock. “Whether you decide to tell anypony about what you read, we will leave to you. I just ask you one thing in return.” Her expression turned somber for a moment. “Please, give him a chance. He is both Jonathan and Kira. Can you promise me that?”

Twilight looked confused for a moment before nodding and taking the tome in her magical grip. “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you. And one last thing: don’t let Jonathan know you have this book.”

Twilight tilted her head but nodded. As Luna trotted off Twilight gazed over the tome once again.

I wonder what she meant when she said “whether I decide to tell anypony?”

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long. Lots of other projects to work on, not to mention life.

I'd like to say this right now, if you haven't read all of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable, I'd recommend not reading further than this chapter. There will be so many spoilers and considering that Diamond us Unbreakable is currently on its third episode as an anime this would be some major plot spoilers for the volume. I am willing to wait months if not years for you to read it all, or perhaps all of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, before you come here just so you can enjoy it in its entirety. If that doesn't bother you, then read on.

Know Thy Enemy

Author's Note

When I first started writing this chapter, the Diamond is Unbreakable anime hadn't even been announced and I was wondering how many spoilers I should include in this chapter. Now that I'm finishing, the Diamond is Unbreakable anime ended about four months ago. This took me so damn long to make, and I am sorry for that. The next chapter should come out much, much, quicker, though some other stories are likely going to take priority before it comes out.

I want to warn you all now, if you have a problem with spoilers do not read anything before the line break near the bottom of the chapter. I recommend you either go to a site like Kissmanga and read the manga or go to Crunchyroll and watch the anime. If you want, I can even direct you to a video that could get you a thirty day free trial, more than enough time to watch the whole series. Otherwise, enjoy this comprehensive guide to Kira's personality, story, and abilities as well as Twilight's reactions to them.

Know Thy Enemy

Twilight set the candle down on the desk next to the thick tome and took a deep breath. Sure she had just come from celebrating her brother and old foalsitter’s wedding, but the thought of reading such an important piece of literature almost immediately rejuvenated her. She opened the book and began reading the first page. It was a dedication.

To Princess Celestia, whose kindness motivated me to complete this book as quickly and completely as possible to protect this wonderful land. I’m so sorry for what I had to make you do.

To the man who took the name Joseph Joestar, your confidence and righteous heart helped push me to do what was necessary for the greater good. Though we didn’t know each other well, I will always remember your courage and sacrifice.

Twilight felt a pang of sadness in her heart.

He was more than just a hero to her. They were friends. Poor Celestia, to have to end his life when they had such a connection.

She pushed down her sadness and continued on.

About Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Created by Hirohiko Araki in the year 1986 A.D., Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is one of the longest running and successful manga (term for Japanese comics) in history, going on for 30 years and still running. The series is both an affectionate parody of overly masculine comic book series’ as well as a sterling example in its own right, having characters that manage to look both powerful and intimidating while striking awkward and in many cases fabulous poses. The series is practically it’s own part of Japanese culture, to the point that Hirohiko Araki has had the distinguished honors of not only having his work displayed in the Louvre (one of the world’s most famous museums), but also working with and designing outfits for the world famous fashion brand Gucci.

I don’t completely understand all the names, but those sound like some impressive accomplishments. And here I thought of comic books as just entertainment.

One of the ways the series has managed to stay relevant is by constantly reinventing itself while still staying true to its roots. With each part building on the others certain things have come and gone while others stay dominant. One thing that has stayed prominent is musical references. Hirohiko Araki is a huge fan of all kinds of music, specifically Western (Japan would be Eastern) music, and as such many characters, abilities, and even locations are references to songs, albums, and musicians. Some references are blatantly obvious, while others very clever and obscure. Sometimes the song lyrics are insights into the characters’ motivations and powers.

Two things that do change in every new part are the protagonists and the genres. Though some characters make repeat appearances, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure spans several generations of the Joestar bloodline, and each new part focuses on a new Jojo. In addition, though they all include incredible action scenes, each part is a different genre. These have ranged from horror to murder mystery, western to crime drama, and all have their own distinct feel.

Wow, he’s actually making me wish I could read these.

One thing to mention about Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is the fights. Unlike many series where characters win because they are stronger, faster, or more determined, everyone in Jojo wins in part because they are able to outthink their opponents. In addition, Stand Powers are very specific in terms of what they can do and battles often progress as a game of “if your Stand can do this, what does my Stand have to do to counter it?”

As much as she wanted to simply read the text from end to end, Twilight scanned over a few pages and got to a new section, skipping the one about Hamon as the Princesses had explained that one to her.

About Stands: General Rules and Types

Alright, this is what I really need to know.

Stands first appeared in part 3, Stardust Crusaders, and it is one of the mechanics that Jojo is most well known for. Stands are named for the idea that most of them “stand next to you”, and can be seen as a “guardian spirit” or “extension of the self.” Generally, a Stand’s appearance and powers will reflect the personality and/or desires of the user, and some even have their own personalities. Though there are many kinds of Stands with many different abilities, two things tend to hold true for all of them. One is that only Stand-Users can see other Stands with the exception of Stands that are bound to matter, like sand or water. Two is that only Stands can harm other Stands.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna talked about the powers of the Stand-Users like they saw them themselves.

Interestingly enough, I’ve found that neither of these rules apply here in Equus, as every race here can both see and interact with Stands. However, I have found that magic spells cause the most damage to Stands, leading me to believe that in this world Stands function like a type of magic. This is why all creatures can see Stands, possessing at least a small bit of magic in them, and why spells are more effective than physical attacks.

Interesting. So this book also contains the results of his research. This is more comprehensive than I had hoped.

For the most part, Stands can be separated into two main categories: Active and Remote. Remote Stands are basically automatic and operate under a specific set of commands and follow certain patterns. As a general rule, the more powerful a Remote Stand is, the simpler and less intelligent it is. By far the two main benefits of Remote Stands is that their range is essentially infinite and that any damage done to a Remote Stand does not come back to the user. A Remote Stand can even be completely destroyed and the user will suffer no negative effects, even being able to summon it again later. However, the main flaw with a Remote Stand is that the user has no idea what is happening to it, unlike an Active Stand where the user can sense and even see through it.

Active Stands are, like it sounds, Stands that are controlled actively by their Stand users. Though they come in a few sub-categories the general rules for Active Stands are that the more powerful and the more directly they attack, the less range they have. The other general rule is that any damage done to the Stand is reflected back on the Stand user. Thankfully, Stands tend to be more durable than their users, and dispelling a Stand and resummoning it tends to dispels all the damage to the Stand, but not the user.

As much as I’d like to go into all the details I think I need to skip ahead. Twilight flipped through the book and got to a bookmark that had been left for her. She was surprised to find five figures, four humans and one Stand.

The first was the same form that Jonathan now held, a blonde wavy mane and blue eyes, dressed in a business suit. The next was dressed in a similar suit with a black spiked up mane and black eyes. After that was a man dressed in a suit exactly like the first with a white slicked back mane with with way black streaks and black eyes. The last one was noticeably different, possessing the blonde mane and blue eyes of the first but having it hidden by a bowler hat and wearing a matching suit, a tie, and white gloves. The final figure in back was a pale pink humanoid with cat-like features and next to its left hand was a small machine with the skull of a cat in front of it.

Twilight was rather confused at all the figures on the page and continued reading.

Yoshikage Kira (yO-she-Ka-gA kE-ra)
Age: 33
Stand: Killer Queen/Sheer Heart Attack/Bites the Dust
Story role: Main villain
If personality is intact:
Threat level without “Bites the Dust”: EXTREMELY HIGH, KILL ON SIGHT
Threat level with “Bites the Dust”: HIGHEST THREAT LEVEL. KILL BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Twilight was stunned by the last two pieces of information. She remembered what Princess Celestia had said before, that if she had not met a heroic version of DIO she would’ve killed Jonathan on sight, but she didn’t grasp just what the extent of that meant.

Stand: Killer Queen
Type: Active

Power
Range: Two meters
Power: Highest
Speed: High
Durability: High
Precision: High
Potential: Highest

Stand Ability: Turning whatever it touches into a bomb.

Twilight’s eyes widened at that.

Killer Queen can turn anything it’s fingers touch into a bomb. This can be a coin, a doorknob, a strand of hair, anything. These bombs can be triggered at any time and are extremely fatal, causing the victim to explode from the inside-out. The closer the victim is to the bomb, the more damage it does. Being about a foot away will cause enough damage to break bones, burn flesh, and perhaps cause death due to trauma. Touching the bomb while it detonates will cause complete disintegration, leaving nothing of the victim behind. It should also be noted the object that was turned into the bomb does not get destroyed. The explosion, due to being part of a Stand, is also unnoticable to normal humans, and can also be quite enough that even Stand-users may not notice only a few meters away. The bomb’s power can also be changed, making it so that it might only blow a few fingers off instead of disintegrating someone.

Twilight gulped as she processed what she read. I can see why Celestia was so worried about him.

Weaknesses/Limitations:

-Can only create one bomb at a time.

-Depending on the bomb’s power, bombs can also damage Kira, so he must be some distance away, usually about four meters.

-Killer Queen cannot create a bomb unless it’s fingertips touch an object. This means it could not make a bomb simply by punching an enemy or being touched.

-The method to trigger the bomb is bringing down the thumb on the right hand in a motion like pressing a button. Interfering with this, like breaking or severing fingers, can make it difficult or impossible for Killer Queen to trigger the bomb.

-The bombs seem to have something to do with manipulating air, as removing air from the vicinity of the bomb makes it impossible to go off.

Twilight calmed down a bit after reading that. So there are ways to deal with it. Of course there are, no spell or technique is flawless. As she continued to read she was surprised to find another name and another ability.

Stand: Sheer Heart Attack
Type: Remote
Range: Infinite
Power: Highest
Speed: Average
Durability: Highest
Precision: Lowest
Potential: Highest

Stand Ability: Mobile bomb

Sheer Heart Attack is a secondary bomb launched from Killer Queen’s left hand. It functions as a Remote Stand and has many of the benefits of it, especially its range which allows Kira to activate the Stand and then simply leave the area. Sheer Heart Attack relentlessly pursues its target until it destroys it, unleashing explosions from itself. Unlike Killer Queen’s Primary Bombs, Sheer Heart Attack’s explosions are very noticeable and are triggered by heat. The hotter the thing it comes in contact with, the more powerful its explosion will be. Coming in contact with a living being will produce an explosion powerful enough to incinerate a body and send a shockwave powerful enough to rattle the windows of a small house. Coming in contact with a lit stove can produce an explosion powerful enough to blow out windows and completely torch an average kitchen. It tracks its victims using heat sensors and goes after whatever is hottest.

Sheer Heart Attack is not very fast but it can move along any surface, even upside down, and can hop a decent distance, like from the floor to the ceiling of the average room. By far its most impressive attribute is its durability, able to take a severe beating even from Jotaro’s Star Platinum, a Stand with enough power to punch clean through the human body and bend metal, with barely a scratch.

Twilight began to shiver as she read about this new ability and quickly moved to weaknesses to ease her mind.

Weaknesses/Limitations:

-Because it functions as a Remote Stand, Kira has no idea what is happening to it if he can’t see it.

-It’s intelligence is very low, going after whatever is hottest in the vicinity no matter what it is. Thus it can easily be distracted by things like lights, candles, boiling water, etc. However, it is intelligent enough to know whether or not what it destroyed was a living being or just an object.

-It loudly shouts “OVER HERE!” while it charges its target, making it very easy to notice.

-Though it is extremely durable, it can be affected by other abilities. Koichi’s Echoes Act 3 used its ability to increase Sheer Heart Attack’s weight several times over, causing it to become so heavy that it created a crater in an asphalt road. Since it is technically part of Killer Queen, this caused Kira’s left hand to increase in weight as well.

That’s still not a lot of weaknesses, Twilight thought nervously. Despite her fear she pushed on.

Stand: Bites the Dust
Type: Remote
Range: Infinite
Power: High
Speed: High
Durability: Highest
Precision: Low
Potential: Highest

Stand Ability: Time reversing trap bomb

Wait, what!? A bomb that can reverse time!?

Bites the Dust was an ability that Kira received when he was stabbed by the Arrow a second time, brought about by his feeling cornered and wanting to live his quiet life.

“Arrow?” Where did it say anything about that? I’ll need to do some more reading later.

Bites the Dust implants itself into a victim, turning them into a living bomb. Though the victim themselves is not in any danger, those around them are. Kira described Bites the Dust as a “landmine”, a powerful bomb only triggered when it is stepped on. In this case, Bites the Dust is meant to protect Kira’s identity so that he may live without anything causing him trouble and thus will only trigger when any of the following conditions are met:
1. The victim tells anyone the identity of Yoshikage Kira. This includes written messages.
2. The victim performs an action that causes others to learn the identity of Yoshikage Kira. For example, being able to see Bites the Dust.
3. The victim is asked about the identity of Yoshikage Kira.

Wait, they can’t even be asked about his identity or it will go off!? Sweet Celestia, these restrictions are unbelievable.

If Bites the Dust is activated it reveals itself to those who triggered it, immediately implanting itself into the eye of the person who triggered it, even being able to implant itself in multiple people at once. In other words, the moment you see it, it’s already too late to stop it. When the bomb triggers it disintegrates whoever it implanted itself in, then causes time rewind about an hour. However, the victim is the only one aware of this.

So the bomb rewinds time after exploding? And the victim is the only one who knows? Not even Kira? I don’t understand, what’s so deadly about this ability?

In this new timeline, certain events become “fated” to happen. For example, if a teacup is broken in the first timeline, the teacup will break again in the new timeline. The way in which it is broken, however, does not have to be the same. For example, if it was first broken by being dropped, it will still be broken again if it was saved for another reason, perhaps by the handle snapping off if someone lifts it. Though the exact time of these “fated events” can be toyed with, they will happen. One of these fated events, unfortunately, is the death of whoever triggered the explosion in the first time. This will occur even if the person who triggered Bites the Dust does not come into contact with the victim in the new timeline. More importantly, time will continue after they have been destroyed as Bites the Dust has not been triggered again.

Twilight felt her heart drop into her stomach, and her body break out in a cold sweat. This was the most terrifying ability she ever heard, even more terrifying than The World’s ability to stop time. After gathering her courage, she read on.

Moreover, Bites the Dust is set up so that it will ensure it stays active, one of the ways being ensuring the safety of its victim, protecting it from all harm including self-inflicted wounds. Once Kira deactivates Bites the Dust, all changes made by it become permanent. Since the victim is unable to tell anyone about the situation they are in, and no one else will remember what happens when time resets, it falls to them to find a way to cause Bites the Dust to deactivate before those fated to be destroyed are killed again.

Twilight wasted no time going to the weaknesses, desperately hoping what she read would ease her mind

Weaknesses/Limitations:

-Because no one but the victim is aware of the time resets, that means Kira himself is unaware that time has reset. He can still deduce that time has been reset, he knows what his ability does, but the only one who knows for sure will be the victim.

-Bites the Dust will protect the victim from all harm, including from Kira himself.

-Bites the Dust will not trigger if something or someone else reveals the identity of Kira Yoshikage.

-Any action that the victim takes that does not explicitly reveal the identity of Yoshikage Kira will not trigger Bites the Dust.

-While Bites the Dust is active, Kira is unable to use any other ability, essentially making him a completely normal human. To use Killer Queen or Sheer Heart Attack, he must deactivate Bites the Dust, causing any events that were “fated” to happen later not to occur.

-Bites the Dust can only be implanted onto a normal person. Stand users cannot be hosts for Bites the Dust.

Twilight was still sweating, but that information had eased her mind somewhat. There’s a way to beat. It may be incredibly difficult, but there are options. Being aware of what will happen and being able to manipulate or work around those events is certainly important, especially since Kira himself would be unaware. I may have to inform all the girls and Spike about this… Or maybe not. The warnings specifically stated if Kira has Bites the Dust. Maybe Jonathan doesn’t have that ability. But one things confuses me: What was all that about “revealing his identity?” Her eyes then went back to the four different looking humans on the page. Maybe he disguised himself somehow? She decided to continue reading, hoping the answer would be revealed to her.

Summary: Yoshikage Kira is, at a glance, a completely normal and somewhat boring individual. He sticks to a routine, he doesn’t seem to have any passionate interests in anything, he doesn’t go out to parties often, and when he does people can’t even tell if he’s even enjoying himself or not. And this is all completely intentional. Kira’s main desire is to live a “quiet life” as he calls it. What this means in practice is a life free from stress. Not only does he not want anything bad to happen to him, but he also feels the effort to achieve things is stressful as well. Kira’s ideal life would be where everything is simply pleasant, not the least bit exciting in either a positive or negative way.

So as you may be asking yourself, what exactly makes this guy the villain? Well, underneath that seemingly normal persona is a sociopath and a serial killer. Specifically, Kira kills women and takes their hands, treating them as his “girlfriends”, taking them with him and buying them gifts and talking to them as if

Twilight dropped the book and headed straight for the bathroom, lifting up the toilet seat before hurling into the water. This continued for a good minute before the need to empty her stomach finally abated, leaving her to gasp for breath as her body was covered in cold sweats, both from the stress she just went through and her own fear.

Monster. Monster! MONSTER! HE CAN’T BE HERE! HE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO WALK THE SAME STREETS AS US! LUNA WAS WRONG, HE HAS TO BE KILLED! SOME CREATURE WITH THESE POWERS AND THIS KIND OF DISPOSITION CAN’T BE LEFT ALI-!

‘Please, give him a chance. He is both Jonathan and Kira. Can you promise me that?’

Those words rung in Twilight’s mind. As she thought of them, she began to remember Jonathan’s own words.

‘Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Do you even hear yourselves!? I thought you understood just what kind of threat I could pose!’

That’s right. It’s wrong to think of him as the same monster described in these pages. She turned on the faucet and splashed water onto her face. But… what exactly am I going to do? After a few more splashes she looked at her reflection, barely recognizing herself for a moment due to the exertion her body just went through. That’s it! I need to be able recognize when he’s Jonathan and when he’s Kira. I need to be able to tell at a glance. And in order to do that-

She trotted back into the room and picked up the book once more.

- I need to be able to get in his head. I need to know how he thinks and how he acts so I know who’s in control. I need to be able to tell even if he’s faking it.

She inhaled deeply then exhaled before going back to the reading.

-they were still alive, disposing of them when they begin to rot. His goal is to simply live out his quiet life, with the occasional new “girlfriend”, and is willing to eliminate anything that gets in his way.

Interesting. No interest in money or power, no desire to take over the world, just a desire for a peaceful existence… and a disgusting hobby.

Personality: In order to discuss Kira’s personality it is first necessary to discuss and define the several mental problems and behavioral problems he has.

Twilight raised an eyebrow at that, surprised to think this person had mental problems. Then again, maybe that’s why he’s such a monster in the first place.

First is the definition of what it means to be a “serial killer.” It doesn’t simply mean “someone who kills a lot of people.” It means someone who kills multiple people over a long period of time with noticeable “cool down” periods in between, and the killing itself serves some kind of compulsion. Serial killers don’t kill specifically because they want to, though that can play a role in it, but they feel they have to, whether for personal satisfaction or for their own cause.

Though there are many subsets, we will be focusing on Kira’s style of serial killer, namely that he derides sexual pleasure from these killings. Kira kills women and takes their hands because it satisfies his hand fetish. In fact he has no attraction to the rest of the woman, which is one reason why he disintegrates the rest of their body. Though Kira himself enjoys killing women and taking their hands he also sees it as a “bad” thing. Not “bad” in the sense of it being a morally reprehensible thing to do but more in the sense of a bad habit, like alcoholism or a smoking addiction. In essence, though Kira does plan his kills, it’s more about him “getting his fix.”

So his killings are more an addiction than a choice? I can’t decide if that makes it better or worse.

Next is sociopathy, a rather extreme mental and behavioral issue that can lead to other problems. Sociopathy is defined by a combination of the following personality traits:

Lack of Empathy: As any well adjusted person should know, empathy is being able identify with the feelings and sometimes even pain of others. Sociopaths do not do this, and in fact are physically unable to empathize with others. Recent studies have suggested that sociopaths can switch their empathy on and off, and usually keep it off. This lack of empathy is perhaps the biggest underlying cause of sociopathy as it makes those afflicted with it incapable of understanding how or even why someone would feel sympathy for another person. Because of this, sociopaths view others more as “things” than people, and have no problem discarding them when they are not useful. If a sociopath does show any form of attachment to a particular person it usually as a owner/possession type relationship.

That immediately got Twilight’s attention and filled her with a sense of confusion and dread. A being that doesn’t just refuse to empathize with other, but physically can’t? How… can anypony even function like that?

Lack of Guilt or Responsibility: Tied into the lack of empathy is lack of guilt or responsibility for one’s actions. Sociopaths feel no shame towards performing unsavory or monstrous acts, unable to comprehend why anyone would in the first place. In addition, they will never think anything is their fault and refuse to believe they can fail at anything. Any failure in their endeavors will often be attributed to the task being something that no living person could’ve completed anyway or being sabotaged by someone above them with more power trying to keep them down. This isn’t to say that sociopaths have no standards, however, and they will often have a personal code to live by that can often seem utterly alien to normal people. For example, a sociopath may go to great lengths to fulfill a promise to another person not because they feel it’s the right thing to do but because they have a personal code that demands that they always complete any task they set out to do.

An Inflated Sense of Self-Worth: No one on the planet has a higher opinion of a sociopath than themselves. As far as they are concerned they are the strongest, smartest, and most attractive person on the planet. They will often make boasts about things like their sex life, their accomplishments, or being friends with other famous people in order to both project and feed a feeling of superiority. Though similar, this isn’t the same as narcissism. Narcissists may have a high opinion of themselves, but their self-image is vulnerable to failure or a lack of affection, as narcissists crave affection more than anything else. A sociopath’s sense of superiority is unaffected by others’ opinions or even really by reality itself. They are the greatest person to have ever lived and nothing in the world can ever convince them otherwise. This need for superiority often manifests as sadism, as sociopaths will often physically and/or emotionally abuse others to make themselves feel more powerful.

This… This how a toddler behaves. A child who doesn’t understand that they aren’t the center of the universe. That throws a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. It’s like-

In that moment she remembered Discord, a master manipulator with a high opinion of himself and was only interested in serving his own desires. Another thought made her shudder.

What if instead of warping reality or hypnotising others when he didn’t get what he wanted, what if he just killed them instead?

For the sake of her own sanity Twilight banished the thought from her head and kept reading.

Frequent and Compulsive Lying: Due to their need to feed their self-worth and their lack of empathy or guilt sociopaths tend to lie all the time, even when they don’t need to. This extends further than simply telling big or small lies and extends to their entire personality and behavior in general. Sociopaths will act in whatever way they feel is necessary for the current situation, frequently and effortlessly switching between different “masks” for whomever they meet.

Expert Charmer and Manipulator: Because sociopath’s don’t process emotions the way normal people do they often become adept at observing others and learning how to fake being normal. This often results in them being perceived as incredibly charming, as they are actively trying to make themselves seem as likable as possible to whomever they want to get something from.

Lack of Sensations: Sociopaths don’t just have trouble feeling emotions, they have trouble feeling anything. Emotions like fear, anger, and happiness are often fleeting and vanish as quickly as they come. As such, it isn’t uncommon for sociopaths to create conflict or put themselves in dangerous situations just so they can feel something. Due to their self-serving nature, they have no consideration for how seeking out these feelings affects others.

Need for Stimulation: Tied into the lack of sensation, this is a sociopath’s raison d'etre. All of their actions are done to either maximize their pleasure or minimize their pain, and so a sociopath will not do anything that doesn’t benefit them in some way unless they feel they have no choice. Sociopaths are known to indulge heavily in whatever gives them pleasure which can be as relatively benign as eating good food or gambling to more dangerous endeavors like rape and murder. Often how much a sociopath is able to control their impulses both in indulging in their pleasure and being able to tolerate impediments is a clear indication of whether a sociopath is high-functioning or low-functioning.

It should be noted that having one or two of these traits does not make someone a sociopath, but rather the combination of them all that defines a sociopath.

Right. Rainbow Dash has a pretty inflated ego, but that doesn’t make her an immoral monster.

Finally is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). Though similar, they do have their distinct differences.

OCD is a behavioral problem characterized by recurring disturbing thoughts (called obsessions) and/or ritual behaviors that a person feels compelled to perform (called compulsions). People afflicted with OCD usually have both, but some rare cases are afflicted with one or the other. The most commonly known obsession is a preoccupation with cleanliness or orderliness, and some common compulsions show as excessive cleaning or reorganization and going over a routine multiple times. A key factor of OCD behavior is that the person knows these compulsions and obsessions make little if any sense, and yet are compelled to perform them anyway. Usually performing these compulsions help to ease anxiety, but in some cases can also be a source of it.

OCPD is a disorder that where a person places focus on orderliness, perfectionism, and control to the detriment of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. These people have an obsession with routine, performing things a specific way, and being incredibly stubborn and resistant to change. They also are very aware of and attentive to their status of where they stand in dominant-submissive relationships, as they will likely be willing to submit to the ideas of an authority they respect and extremely resistant to one they do not.

Oh no, Twilight thought. She recalled her behavior that her friends had pointed out. Her constant list making, that time she tried to get the amount of frosting equal on a batch of cupcakes, her constant desire to reshelve her books, even her great reverence for Princess Celestia. I… I have something in common with a serial killer! Am I going to become a monster like that!? Wait, no, calm down! Remember, these are all separate disorders. It is possible to have one without the other. One does not necessitated the existence of the other. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing. So you two have something in common. That’s fine. It should help me get in his head more, help to tell the difference between Jonathan and Kira. She continued to read.

Kira’s OCD and OCPD help to contextualize some of the more interesting aspects of his behavior, like his perfectionist tendencies and his love of routine. Amazingly, these disorders can actually be a benefit to him. For example, it can be seen as a contribution to him being incredibly cautious, analytical, and extremely detail oriented. When he disguised himself as and inserted himself into the life of Kosaku Kawajiri he took careful steps to integrate himself as subtly as possible. In the evening he would spend hours at a time copying the man’s signature and handwriting as well as slowly buying copies of his shoes in his size.

“Disguised himself?” Is that the reason for the multiple faces?

On the other hand, Kira’s disorders can become a crippling detriment to to him. One time he had just killed one of his opponents, punching straight through his chest with Killer Queen.

Twilight grimaced at that, still not used to how casually death was described.

While performing the act Kira realized that his opponent’s shoe had been knocked off by the force, revealing that he had accidentally put his sock on backwards. Despite knowing his opponent’s friends were likely going to arrive in less than a minute, knowing that he was going to use Killer Queen’s bomb to erase the body anyway, he still put the sock and shoe on the body correctly because his compulsions just bothered him that much.

Twilight thought back to when she thought that not turning in a friendship report would get her sent back to magic kindergarten. Now with hindsight she could see it was silly, but in the moment she couldn't see any other possibility. Maybe I should seek some professional help, she thought.

Yoshikage Kira is a very quiet and unassuming person who gauges everything. He calmly analyzes all things and is usually able to suppress his impulsive urges with logic and reason, though sometimes anger can cloud his judgment. Despite the usual sociopathic desire for recognition of superiority, Kira goes out of his way to hide his intelligence. This behavior has been present since his childhood days, carefully controlling how much of his talent he shows to the point where he has ensured he has never won higher than 3rd place in anything. Even as a boy he detested standing out, wanting to fade into the background as much as possible. This, oddly enough, seems to feed his own sense of superiority. One gets the sense that behind that calm and nearly blank expression he’s laughing to himself and thinking “there's a serial killer right here under your nose, and you have no damn idea because I'm just that amazing!”

Interesting. A quiet, personal and covert form of arrogance rather than the more common “loud and proud” version.

Kira’s hand fetish was awakened when he saw a picture of the Mona Lisa, a portrait of a woman with her hands crossed in her lap. He cut out the hands from the picture and hung them in his room for some time until he grew tired of them.

Another one of his unique quirks is his clipping of fingernails and toenails. He keeps his nail clippings, recording the length for each individual finger and toe, as he and keeps them in bottles labeled for each year. Aside from being a compulsion, Kira uses this as a form of fortune telling, killing only when his nails are growing particularly fast.

Disgusting! That’s like if I measured the filings of my hooves! Twilight thought, suppressing the urge to gag.

Another interesting bodily quirk he has is that when his urge to kill begins to reach a fever pitch his fingernails begin to grow remarkably fast, to the point they can noticeably grow over the course of a few seconds. In addition, when Kira feels particularly backed into a corner and not seeing any way out of a situation, he furious bites his fingernails to the point of bleeding.

Twilight’s face brightened. There it is! A reliable indicator as to which personality is in charge! If I keep an eye on his fingernails, I can get some indication of what he’s thinking!

Finally, though not so much of a personality quirk, something worth mentioning is Kira’s almost supernatural levels of luck. Though a lot of Kira’s good fortune can be attributed to his calm and calculating nature (as the saying goes “luck favors the well-prepared”), some of it can really only be attributed to pure dumb luck. For example, after replacing Kawajiri Kosaku a debt collector came to the house demanding money. Shinobu Kawajiri, Kosaku’s wife, told Kira/Kosaku to open the safe and get the money as only he knew the combination. Thinking quickly, Kira instead used Killer Queen to discreetly steal money from the debt collector’s own bag, paying him not only for the two months they owed but also two months in advance. Though she couldn’t see his Stand, Shinobu was able to realize that Kira had somehow stolen the money. Instead of confronting him about this, Shinobu found this risky behavior to be utterly romantic and kept quiet about it.

WHAT!? Twilight screeched inside her own head. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? YOU COULDN’T EVEN MAKE A SPELL TO GIVE YOURSELF THAT KIND OF LUCK!

This incredible luck is one of the reasons that Kira always manages to keep his cool in the worst of situations, convinced that luck will shine on him and give him the perfect opportunity and that he only need to be calm and aware enough to notice and take advantage of it.

History: Kira’s career as a serial killer began at 18 with his first victim, Reimi Sugimoto, who was only 16 at the time. Kira killed her whole family, including her dog, before viciously maiming her back until death. Unfortunately, Kira made sure to wait for the cops to give up their search before killing again, aided by the fact that his doting father Yoshihiro was more than willing to preserve his son’s happiness, no matter what that may consist of.

Twilight grimaced at that. He hid the fact that his son was a killer? I never thought parental love could be a bad thing.

At some point Yoshihiro took a trip to Egypt and got ahold of one of the Arrows, gaining a Stand for both himself and his son upon their return.

There’s that mention of “the Arrow.” There’s some sort of arrow that can give people Stands? I’ll need to do more research later.

Kira’s elderly father would eventually pass on, and he would get a job at as a simple office worker while acquiring many new “girlfriends” over this time. Due to Killer Queen leaving no evidence, Kira could kill with almost complete impunity, so long as he was cautious. His habits would end up contributing to Morioh’s rate of missing persons to be eight times the national average.

Twilight’s eyes widened. Fifteen years. Fifteen years of murder. And it’s not like he only killed one or two people each year.

Diamond is Unbreakable: Yoshikage Kira doesn’t actually enter the story until about halfway through, but once he does the plot becomes entirely about finding out who he is and trying to catch him. As it turns out, the Spirit of Reimi Sugimoto had been bound to the place where she died and she eventually got in contact Rohan Kishibe and Koichi Hirose and tell them about the killer living in Morioh, even if she never saw his face. Eventually, Kira and Shigechi Yangu would coincidentally cross paths when Shigechi mistook his sandwich bag for Kira’s after Kira had hid his latest “girlfriend” inside. Though Kira went to great lengths to retrieve the bag without Shigechi noticing, Shigechi would eventually discover the hand inside, prompting Kira to erase him. Before he did though, Shigechi let slip that the heroes were investigating the death of Reimi and he managed use his Stand Harvest to steal a button off Kira’s suit and get it to Josuke Higashikata and Okuyasu Nijimura, giving it to the rest of the group and giving them a clue to track down his identity.

Interesting. So he went out of his way to try a non-violent solution until he had no other choice. And here I thought murder was his answer to everything.

Jotaro Kujo and Koichi would eventually track down the jacket right as Kira was retrieving it, unleashing Sheer Heart Attack and taking his jacket before either of them had a chance to see him. Jotaro and Koichi would struggle against the Stand, Jotaro himself getting wounded severely, until Koichi’s Stand evolved into Echoes Act 3, increasing its weight to stop it and also causing Kira’s own hand to increase several times its own weight. Humiliated at causing a scene due to his hand smashing through a table and struggling to even move, Kira limped his way back to Koichi where he managed to overpower the boy, beating him up in order to relieve his pent up frustration.

So, he’s the type that needs to get back at others for his wounded pride. That’s good to know, too.

After mortally wounding Koichi and being distracted by his sock, as mentioned above, Jotaro managed to summon up enough of his own strength to knock Kira out before passing out himself. Josuke and Okuyasu arrived just in time to heal the two up while Kira attempted to crawl away. When confronted, Kira pretended to be a random passerby caught in the explosion, but accidentally let slip that he saw Josuke heal the others. Seeing that he was caught Kira activated Sheer Heart Attack, then severed his own left hand with Killer Queen to buy himself time to escape.

Twilight was absolutely shocked to read of such a drastic move, not even being able to imagine cutting off part of her body, even to save her own life. Kira really is willing to do whatever it takes to come out on top, isn’t he?

While they were distracted Kira made his way to the salon of Aya Tsuji and forced her to use her Stand Cinderella to switch his appearance with that of a man he grabbed off the street, Kosaku Kawajiri after killing the man. He changed his face, hair, and even the fingerprints on his right hand. Meanwhile, the gang of heroes was tracking Kira by using Josuke’s Crazy Diamond on Kira’s hand, only to find the dead and now faceless Kosaku and the wounded Aya. Kira detonated Aya, both to keep his identity from being revealed and make sure the change to his appearance were permanent, was able to reattach his left hand by making use of Crazy Diamond, and escaped into a crowd of people coming home from work.

Twilight just sat there, stunned as she processed what she just read. Incredible. There’s no way he just came up with that all on the fly. He knew about where all his opponents’ were, what their abilities were, and he must’ve even planned ahead what he should do if he was caught in a situation like that. This man… Twilight felt something spark in her, something she rarely felt: competitiveness. This man might even be a better planer and more detail-oriented than me.

As the heroes struggled to find another lead while also dealing with Stand users created by Yoshihiro and his Arrow (his Stand power effectively making him a ghost) Kira attempted to blend into the life of Kosaku Kawajiri, which proved rather difficult due to Kosaku’s wife Shinobu and eleven year old son Hayato. Luckily, Shinobu was thoroughly unsatisfied with her marriage and the new change in her husband’s behavior, including being able to cook respectable meals and the previously mentioned “risky” behavior, caused her to almost instantly take a shine to him, overlooking his odd changes and actively trying to romance him, something that proved to be both a blessing and curse for Kira as he attempted to suppress his murderous urges.

Twilight was a bit disheartened after reading that. How unfulfilling must her marriage have been that a serial killer was a better option than her own husband?

Hayato, on the other hand, would prove to be extremely detrimental to Kira. Intelligent, introverted, and slightly paranoid, Hayato would quickly catch on to the strange changes in his parents’ behavior, and had already installed video cameras at key locations in his house, like his parents bedroom ceiling. He saw his mother’s change in behavior towards his “father”, as well as “Kosaku” practice writing his name, changing his shoe sizes, and eating foods he previously didn’t like. This would eventually lead to him concluding that the man living with them was not his father, and he would begin to tail him after school, trying to catch some proof to his theory on video.

While Hayato’s suspicions were being raised, a stray cat was hit by the Arrow that Yoshihiro and found its way into the Kawajiri basement, its aggressive behavior scaring Shinobu who wildly swung a broom at it, causing it to accidentally fall and impale itself on a piece of broken glass. Kira buried the corpse outside, only for the cat to be reborn as a plant the next day, awakening to its Stand Powers. Because it remembered Shinobu being responsible for its death, it attacked her and knocked her unconscious, forcing Kira to step in try and kill it to prevent her death from attracting attention to the Kawajiri household. With the powers of Stray Cat, the cat-plant was able to shoot concussive and explosive bubbles of air as well as create barriers of air, its powers being a perfect counter to Killer Queen. Kira only survived the encounter by picking up a nearby ball and tossing it at the plant creature, causing its feline instincts to take over and play with the ball.

Twilight chuckled. To think that the deadly Kira was almost defeated by a mere cat-plant. I guess no matter how powerful your Stand ability is, somewhere out there there’s a Stand that’s a perfect counter to it.

Kira dug up the creature and hid it in the attic, telling Shinobu that she had just passed out and was hallucinating, but Hayato investigated the attic and found the creature, hiding from Kira as he came up to check on it and learning that his “father” was truly not his father anymore.

One day on his way back from work Kira came across a particularly rude and annoying couple on the train, who constantly invaded his personal space, knocked his bag out of his hand, and mocked his bowling pin styled nail clipper that fell out of his bag. Having restrained himself for so long, not to mention the couple being particularly rude to him, Kira submitted to his urges and followed the couple to their home, instantly disintegrating the man and forcing the woman to clip his fingernails before killing her as well, leaving only her hand. Hayato, who had been following him, got the whole thing on camera and then fled in terror, but unfortunately Kira noticed him in the distance. Confronting his “son” in the bathroom, Hayato tried to blackmail Kira into leaving him and his mother alone, even pointing out that Hayato was videotaping them both at that very moment. Kira, fed up with the restrictions he had to be living under, killed Haytao in a moment of rage with a small bomb, small enough to make it look like he had just fallen and died from a head injury, before stuffing him into the bathroom closet.

Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth and gasped aloud, reading about how easily Kira was willing to kill a child.

It was at this point Yoshihiro informed him that this outburst could not have happened at a worse time, the learning that the heroes had reason to suspect Kosaku was Kira and were planning to investigate him the very next day. Feeling backed into a corner, but unwilling to exchange a peaceful life in Morioh for a life on the run, the Arrow responded to this feeling and struck him in the neck, awakening him to Bites the Dust. He activated the new ability and made Hayato its host, rewinding time so that he had not killed the boy, and assured his father that everything was going to go his way, slicking his hair back neatly to reflect his newfound confidence. The next day Kira walked with Hayato partway to school, confidently revealing his identity as Kira and that he had “matured”, claiming there was no need to hide anymore that he was invincible before parting ways with him. Hayato, in a daze, came across Rohan who used his Stand, Heaven’s Door, to literally read him like a book and learned of Kira’s identity as Kosaku, only to be killed by Bites the Dust, rewinding time for Hayato. The boy, confused, went through the same day like normal, until he slowly came to realize he was reliving the same morning over again. When he caught a teapot that his mother dropped, remembering how she tripped and broke it before, Kira noticed and deduced that Hayato had triggered Bites the Dust, arrogantly explaining to the boy how his ability worked and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Undeterred, Hayato snuck out of the house so Kira couldn’t see and went to where he saw Rohan, trying to figure out how to contact him without triggering the Stand, when Kira snuck up behind him, explaining how certain actions were “fated”, taking pleasure in watching Rohan explode and die before heading off to work. Disheartened, Hayato just hung around in a daze before encountering the Koichi, Jotaro, Okuyasu, and Josuke. Knowing that just asking him about Kira would trigger the bomb, Hayato tried to stop them from asking anything by taking his box cutter out of his backpack and killing himself, only for Bites the Dust to keep him from doing so. All four of them noticed the Stand and were killed, sending Hayato back in time again. Desperate and realizing there was no other choice, Hayato made his decision: he was going to kill Kira.

Twilight could only shake her head in disbelief. For such a small child to be forced into such a state, to have to be pushed to commit murder or have the blood of innocents on his hands… Kira truly is a monster to make someone go through that.

He snuck up into the attic and put Stray Cat into his backpack, planning to use its aggressive behavior to fire an air bullet at Kira and kill him when he was within range, manipulating the events he knew were fated to happen to do so, as well as getting the teapot to break and spill hot coffee on Kira’s hand just to spite him. Hayato left the house and got in position, only to notice Kira being exceptionally cautious. Kira had noticed the uncharacteristically determined look in his eye earlier and decided to play it safe. As the time to Rohan’s death neared Hayato began to lose hope, and the fear and hopelessness on his face ironically convinced Kira that he had just been seeing things. Taking his chance, Hayato got Stray Cat to shoot Kira right in the chest. Unfortunately, the blow was lessened by the watch Kira had stuffed into his jacket, which he took off because of the coffee that spilled onto his hand.

Twilight audibly groaned in frustration. There’s that incredible Kira luck again. Unbelievable.

Feeling invincible, he gloats aloud “Luck is on the side of Yoshikage Kira!” This one sentence proves to be his downfall, as Hayato revealed that he had a backup plan. He had remembered how Josuke said he was late because he overslept, and so Hayato called his house to wake him up, not saying anything about Kira’s identity. Kira turned around, shocked to find himself face to face with a furious Josuke and Okuyasu. After being assaulted by Crazy Diamond, Kira had no choice but to deactivate Bites the Dust so he could use Killer Queen to protect himself, undoing the time loop as well as all the fated deaths just in time.

Twilight’s mouth hung open. Amazing. Someone only a few years older than Spike or the Cutie Mark Crusaders came up with such an intricate plan. Hayato truly is exceptionally intelligent and resourceful for his age.

The battle with Kira would commence with Crazy Diamond having a clear advantage of strength and speed over Killer Queen, but Kira revealed a technique he had been working on, causing Okuyasu to be seriously injured. Kira had found a way to combine Killer Queen’s first bomb with Stray Cat’s air bullets, creating slow moving yet deadly air bombs that he could detonate at any time he wished, even being able to control the size and change its path mid-flight. Kira stored Stray Cat inside of Killer Queen’s chest for easy access.

“Are you kidding me!?” Twilight said aloud. “How!? How can Kira’s luck be that good!?”

Josuke and Hayato would retreat inside of a nearby house with the dead Okuyasu, Josuke having to find a way to attack Kira at a distance while Hayato did his best to play support. Unknown to both of them, Yoshihiro had hidden himself inside Hayato’s jacket and was relaying Josuke’s position to Kira via telephone so he could attack him with the air bubbles safely outside. Though he did take considerable damage from the first attack, Josuke soon figured this out and tricked Kira into kille his own father before severely injuring him with a piece of glass, giving Josuke the opportunity to confront Kira in close quarters. Thought Josuke was clearly coming out on top, a chance allowed Kira to create another air bomb, only for the attack to be thwarted by a miraculously revived Okuyasu, who also managed to get Stray Cat away from Kira. Kira stumbled back, trying to get away only to end up not only out in the open, but in clear view of the other heroes and citizens who had gathered to find the cause of the explosions.

Finally, things start to turn around, Twilight thought with a smirk. … Wow, I’m really getting into this.

Unfortunately, one of the emergency responders, a woman, approached Kira with intent to help, seeing him bloodied and wounded. Kira then told her his name, telling her of his kills, and that she would be the only one to know, planning to use her as a new host for Bites the Dust. Everyone else rushed forwards to stop him, but Kira triggered the bomb… or so he thought. When he returned from his trip he noticed he wasn’t anywhere he recognized and that things that should’ve been reversed, like his broken watch, were still the same. It was then he met Reimi Sugimoto and what happened became clear: Kira had died. As it turned out, due to a combination of Koichi’s weight control and Jotaro’s time stopping powers, they were able to stop Kira from activating the bomb long enough to do some serious damage to him. Then, by coincidence, the very ambulance that had been called to help him didn’t notice where he was, backed up, and almost instantly crushed his head, mauling his face as it did.

Though sickened by the gruesome death, Twilight couldn’t help but seem some amusement at the situation. Irony. Truly one of the best literary tools.

Not immediately recognizing her, Reimi and her dog Arnold were able to trick Kira into getting himself dragged off and ripped apart by the otherworldly force in her ghostly residence, dragging him off to an unknown and terrifying fate.

And so ends the tale of Kira Yoshikage, Twilight thought, only to notice with surprise there was more.

Dead Man’s Questions: Some time after Diamond Is Unbreakable, Kira continued to wander the world a s ghost. He had no memory of his identity other than his name, no knowledge of his past, and no Stand powers. The only other things he kept from his past were a desire to live a quiet life and a feeling that he would not be able to enter heaven. With not much left to him Kira often ponders things, like the world around him and the nature of the universe. “That restaurant, only women are eating there. Where do the men eat lunch?” “If a child is born with a spirit, where does it come from? Does it come from the netherworld and enter the body at birth, or does the mother’s spirit somehow duplicate itself into the child?” Kira also has to deal with the many physical laws of ghosts, like being unable to enter a room with a living person unless they are invited in, and then accidentally touching a living being can cause them to lose parts of their body, though they can be reattached. Kira ends up taking a job as a hit man from a local monk, the story beginning with him killing a child murderer who had been in hiding for fifteen years. Though he doesn’t care about uphold justice, he has decided to make this job his purpose for existing and hoping he can achieve some sort of happiness from that.

Interesting. It sounds like being a ghost is even more difficult than being alive.

Kira’s next job is to investigate a “ghost mansion,” that is a mansion that itself had become a ghost, and the supposed fact that more than fifty people had been murdered or committed suicide in that area. Kira finds the mansion as is immediately fascinated by it, finding that the objects inside are made of the same ghostlike material he is. He becomes excited at the idea of taking many things with him, both for pleasure and for his jobs so he won’t have to keep borrowing items, only to discover a strange group of eggs. He examines a few and then, to his surprise, finds that they hatch and birth some strange creatures that immediately attack him, trying to eat his body. He deduces that theses creatures must be “cleaners” of the afterlife, meant to keep the living world from being overcrowded with ghosts. Kira manages to fight them off with a gun he finds and escape the mansion, but ends up having to sacrifice his left arm to escape. Suspecting the monk might have set him up, he takes the gun a box of ammunition and plans to investigate the supposed murder and suicide cases himself, more than ready to kill her if he finds any inconsistencies and wondering if maybe he could replace his missing arm with hers.

As Twilight finally came to end of Kira’s entry she took one last look at the five figures at the beginning. The killer, the disguise, and the matured villain, along with the Stand that connects all three. And finally, the aimless wandering spirit trying to find happiness and purpose in his unlife. She closed the book and got into bed, deciding to sleep on all the information she had received and process it after some rest.

Twilight, Spike, and the rest of the girls we waiting by the train station, everypony else discussing different topics while Twilight continued to familiarize herself with the book and the world of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

Wow, I never would’ve expected such a touching backstory behind someone’s manestyle.

“Hey egghead, you ok?” Rainbow Dash asked, getting the unicorn’s attention.

“Huh?”

“Jeez Twilight, I know you can really get into a book, but this is a bit much!” she joked with a smirk.

Twilight chuckled. “Sorry, it’s just that this is sort of an assignment from the Princesses. Don’t worry, I won’t let myself get too sucked into it.”

“I hope not.”

“Yeah, Twilight. After all, you need to be there for Jonathan’s ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Pinkie, I think he’s going to want to settle into his new home first,” Twilight said.

“I know, that’s why it’s a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party. After that we’ll have a ‘Moving into your new Home’ Party!”

Twilight just smiled and shook her head.

“Oh, looks like they’re here,” Rarity stated, causing everypony to face the same direction she was.

Approaching was Jonathan with a bag slung over his shoulder, with three royal guards walking with him, one from each tribe. The unicorn stallion had a red coat and a messy maroon mane and tail with yellow eyes, his expression stern. The pegasus mare had an aqua coat and cerulean mane and tail with violet eyes, wore a playful smirk. Her mane was swept to left, like she he brushed it over with a comb a few times and decided “that’s good enough.” The earth pony stallion was a dark brown with a shor carefully trimmed black mane and tail and had brilliant blue eyes. His expressions was professional, with a int of nervousness. The crowd of ponies parted ways for them, murmurs of the “strange creature” and questions of the guard escort obvious.

“Greetings, ladies,” the unicorn began as he stopped in front of them. “We’re here to accompany you and Jonathan back to Ponyville, where we’ll be staying for the foreseeable future. I am Staff Sergeant Firebrand.”

“I’m Corporal Gale Slash! Nice to meet you all!” the pegasus mare greeted happily.

“U-Um… Rampart, Private First Class. It’s, um… A pleasure to meet you all,” the earth pony bowed slightly, his deep voice and his meek tone making an interesting contrast.

“Oh, we should hold a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party for all four of you!” Pinkie declared.

“That’s not really-” Firebrand began, only for Gale Slash to cut him off.

“Hey, that’s sounds great! Give a chance to get familiar with the locals!”

“I don’t mind,” Jonathan added.

“Yeah, he knows what’s up!”

Firebrand sighed. “Let’s just all get everything ready to get on the train,” he sighed as the vehicle came into view.

Twilight approached Jonathan and tapped on his shin. “Excuse me? Jonathan?”

“Huh? Oh, um… What was your name again?” he asked sheepishly.

“Twilight Sparkle. Just call me Twilight. Anyway, I know you might’ve just done it to protect yourself, but thanking you for helping us with the Changelings.”

“Oh, uh no problem. I honestly don’t remember too much, unfortunately. Guess I was just swept up in the moment.”

“That’s fine,” she said with a smile. As he turned away her gaze turned steely as she put the book into her saddlebag.

So this is it, this is how it starts, she thought as she took another glance at the human. This is the form of both a new enemy and hopefully a new friends. Jonatha, I am going to help you beat Kira. No matter how many times it takes.

Appreciating Alien Arts

“Wow. This is pretty nice,” I said, leaning back into the sofa. “Is this the VIP section?”

“That’s right!” Gale Slash replied, hopping into the space next to me, sighing contently as she curled up like a cat. “The Princesses thought it would be better if you didn’t really have contact with anypony until you reached Ponyville, so because of that we get to ride in style!”

How professional.

Are you complaining about the privacy?

Do not put words in my mouth.

“Well, I’m happy you can enjoy yourself,” I said with a smile.

“Yeah, it'll probably be nice now that we don't have to protect those stuffy and ungrateful nobles,” she added.

“Gale Slash,” Firebrand warned.

“What? Just try and tell me they don't treat us statues when they aren't trying to order us around. Honestly, I'm kinda bummed Captain Shining Armor is headed of with Princess Cadance one of the few commanders we’ve had that treated us like walking suits of armor.”

“Princess Celestia always treats us well,” Rampart commented, barely loud enough to be heard.

“Exactly my point! Princess Celestia is thousands of times more busy than them, and even she can make the time to treat us like actual ponies. Hay, even Princess Luna treats us with respect, and she’s been trying to pull herself out of being stuck a thousand years in the past!”

“Well, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to enjoy the quaint charm of Ponyville when you take first watch tonight,” Firebrand said, humorlessly.

“Aww, bro!” Gale Slash whined.

“Staff Sergeant,” he corrected. “We’re on duty.”

“‘Bro’?” I asked

“Yeah, we’re siblings. I'm the fun one. He’s the one with a stick up his-” A rust colored aura covered Gale Slash’s mouth and clamped it shut. The mare glared at her brother, who stared back stoically, causing her to huff and fold her forelegs.

Well, this is certainly a healthy sibling relationship.

I think we should both know that even siblings who generally get along frequently act like this.

“So, where’s the rest of the group?” I asked, hoping to clear the air.

“The room next to us,” Rampart answered. “Even the VIP rooms aren't big enough to seat more than eight.”

Or maybe they wanted to make sure it would be easier for the soldiers to keep an eye on the potential threat.

“True enough. So how long is this trip going to take?” I asked.

“Unless something unexpected comes up, no more than maybe four hours,” Firebrand answered.

“Well, might as well take a nap,” I said, adjusting my position and lying down on the couch. “Wake me in an hour or two. I don't want to miss lunch.” I said before closing my eyes.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Gale Slash jokes, Firebrand apparently having released her mouth.

So, just what kind of plans do you have?

Seriously? Even in my dreams I can't get away from you?

I am you now.

Does this mean I can't have dreams anymore?

You talk as if this isn't new for both of us.

So… anything you want to talk about?

How do we intend to make this relationship work?

What do you mean?

As you said before, we seem to have equal control, which means we can end up fighting over this body. That doesn't sound productive for either of us.

Good point. Well, what do you want most out of this?

To live a quiet life, of course.

Right, sure. Well, my main concern is that I don't want to kill anyone. Which means no “girlfriends.” Or “marefriends” in this case, I guess.

I told you before, I don't like hooves.

Well then, we should be able to get along on that issue then. As for other things, I think we should play it by ear.

You should know I value my privacy. These guardsponies are obviously supposed to watch us to make sure we don't cause trouble. I want to make this clear: no roommates. This is non-negotiable.

Honestly I kinda want a home to myself, too. We’ll have to come up with something, like the guards having their own house nearby. Also, can you cook?

What makes you think that?

Kira was a pretty good cook, and I was hoping we could save money by buying food and cooking some recipes instead of going out.

Well, I don't know anything you don't, and we only have the few simple recipes you knew before. However, I would probably agree my demeanor is more suited to cooking than yours, and I'm sure a cookbook wouldn't be too hard to come across.

Well, that's good for now, I guess. The rest depends on what kind of place Ponyville is like. Anyway, I'm gonna go eat now. Try and be a good boy, ok?

… I'm not your pet. Keep joking like that, and I'll start making problems to spite you.

Jeez, no sense of humor.

After a few hours we all arrived in Ponyville, and like Canterlot, all the ponies looked at me strange. Unlike Canterlot, however, these guys seemed terrified of me and ready to bolt at any second.

I don't like this attention.

We need to lighten the mood, let me try.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Don't all rush to greet me at once,” I joked. Some of them just looked at me weird but just went on with whatever they were doing. Others ran away, but at least they weren't screaming bloody murder. “Jeez, tough crowd.”

“Sorry. The citizens of Ponyville are a little… jumpy,” Twilight apologized.

“It's not that bad,” Rarity retorted.

“Zecora,” Twilight replied

“... Anymore,” Rarity added.

“Don't worry, I've been the new guy more than once,” I assured them.

“Don't worry, Johnny boy! We’ll fix that in a jiffy!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Pinkie, you're not going to throw him a welcome party his first night here,” Twilight said.

“Actually, I don't mind,” I said.

“What?”

What?

“I think getting to know everybody would help me ease into the town, don't you think? I mean, it should at least convince them I'm not going to sneak into their houses and eat them while they're asleep, or something stupid like that.”

“I… guess you have a point. Is there any problem with that?” Twilight asked the guards.

“Well… our orders are about letting him out of our sight. It doesn't have any specific restrictions aside from that,” Firebrand hesitantly admitted.

What are you doing? I don't want us to broadcast ourselves. Just making sure they're not hostile to us is enough.

Look, I've seen this kind of situation before in plenty of stories. If we don't show them we can be outright friendly, they're going make up their own opinions and ideas about us, and they're all going to be bad. We need to mingle, let them get to know us a bit. After that, we can fade back a bit.

… I'm not comfortable with this.

Which view would you prefer the ponies have us, that we’re kinda quiet but still ok or that we’re weird and kinda creepy?

… Fine. You've made your point.

“So, on a somewhat related matter, do I have to go house hunting, or did the Princesses already pick a place for me to stay?” I asked.

“We’re staying in an inn tonight, but we’ve got a house picked out. Wanna check it out?” Gale Slash asked.

“Gale Slash,” Firebrand warned.

“Oh come on, there's nothing wrong with having him check out his new home, right? Besides, it'll give the rest of them a chance to get unpacked,” she argued, motioning to the other seven guests.

Firebrand sighed. “Very well. We’ll check into the inn, then we can go and see the house. When do you think you can organize a get together of some kind?” he asked Pinkie.

“I can have it ready by tonight! Do you think we can use the library, Twi?”

“Well… so long as it doesn't go past midnight. I'd like a chance for Spike and I to get settled back in,” she answered.

“Okie dokie, lokie!” she said before zipping off in a cartoonish puff of smoke.

...You saw that too, right?

I don't think I'm going to like her.

“Well, Ah gotta check back on the farm. See ya’ll tonight!” Applejack said, tipping her hat before everyone went their separate ways, Rarity in particular carting away an almost cartoonishly large collection of what I could only guess were designer travel bags and somehow managing to look elegant while doing it.

“Well, let's get going I guess,” I said before motioning my hand forwards. “Lead on.”

“Well, whaddya think?” Gale Slash asked as she showed off the house. It was a truly gorgeous, structure, it really was. Like something out of a postcard, or a children’s storybook. But, immediately some concerns were raised, especially once I got a good look at Ponyville itself.

Ok, so I can tell you don’t really like it, I don’t either, but just for clarity’s sake, why don’t you like it?

The timber walls and thatch roofs have me concerned about insulation, not to mention the noticeable lack of technology either with the house or the surrounding area have me concerned about both cooking and refrigeration, not to mention plumbing.

Is that all?

It’s also near the town square, likely the busiest section of town. Which means not only will it likely be loud during the day, but also will likely have the most attention put on us. Finally, I haven’t seen any indication as to where they’re sleeping.

Well, I can’t say I have all the same problems with it you do, but none of them are things that I’d fight you on. Ok, let me do the talking.

“I have some concerns,” I answered.

“With what?” Gales Slash asked, confused.

“First of all, maybe this is just because I come from somewhere with more advanced technology, but how am I supposed to stay cool in the summer and warm in the winter? This doesn’t seem very insulated. Especially the roof. And, I have to ask, do you guys have plumbing?”

“Hey, you make us sound like savages!” she retorted angrily.

“Sorry, it’s just that… the last time my species had houses regularly made like this, it was thought that disease was caused by ‘bad blood’ and the the way to cure yourself was to cut and bleed it out of your body.”

“Wait, what?” she asked shocked.

“I’m just a little confused. Canterlot I could just chalk up to being an old city as the reason why it looked like marble or something similar, but then you’ve got something from the early industrial like a steam engine, and now you’re showing me something from the medieval ages. Your technological advancement is all over the place.”

“If I may address your concerns,” Firebrand interrupted. “This house was built only three years ago and has been approved for inspection. The insulating spells are up to date, and you have a working oven with a stove top. There is full plumbing for the bathtub, the sinks, and toilet, and a fireplace for when things get cold. Lighting is done by candles, but if you want lightbulbs you’re going to have to get that out of your own pocket, same with a refrigerator. Speaking of funds, the Princesses have seen fit to reward you with 70,000 bits to get you started. The amount should arrive to the local bank by the end of the week. We’ll help get you registered as a citizen of Ponyville and Equestria tomorrow, and then you can go over some job opportunities.

Well, that was certainly informative, though it still leaves some questions. Namely the value of “bits”, and one other question you have yet to ask.

Give me a minute.

“I appreciate that. I do have one more question to ask, though,” I said.

“Yes?”

“Where are you three going to stay? I don’t think you can pay for a hotel every night for the foreseeable future.”

“We’ll be rooming with you!” Gale Slash replied happily.

Absolutely not.

“Sorry, but no.”

“Huh?”

“There is no way I’m going to share a two bedroom, one bath house with three roommates. Also, it’s way too close to the main part of town. I need something on the outskirts, something quiet, where I can be assured I won’t have trouble going to sleep due to a festival or whatever. If you guys want to take this house, go right ahead. As for me, I’m house hunting tomorrow,” I said firmly before turning to walk away.

Authoritative. Well done.

Just channelling one of my many “no nonsense businessman” roles.

“W-Wait! Just where do you think you’re going!?” Firebrand demanded, a noticeable spark of anger in his voice.

I decided to pretend to not be concerned with it and turned my head while I continued to walk. “I’m going to get a layout of the town, see the sights before the party the crazy pony is setting up. You can follow if you want, or I can meet you at the inn later. Take your pick,” I replied before turning back and continuing to walk.

“O-Our orders are not to let you out of our sight!” he retorted.

“Well then, you better catch up,” I called without stopping.

Despite some grumblings, Firebrand decided that they didn’t have the authority to force Jonathan to live in the house and took a quick tour of Ponyville, enjoying the sights and taking notes of shops and restaurants they would likely frequent. There were some wary glances from many of the residents, but I paid them no mind. Hours later, we decided we had been out long enough and made our way to the library, a literal tree house.

How is that tree not rotting?

… Magic?

I see it will be very frustrating to adjust to this new world.

We’ll manage.

I opened the door, finding myself in a dark room, before the lights flicked on accompanied by the shouts of “Surprise!” along with party poppers and streamers. I stood there for a moment, processing the large number of ponies present, some which I recognized from before, who I noticed were trying to hide their fear and discomfort behind their smiles.

Time to break the ice again.

I feigned a heart attack and fell to my knees before falling to the floor. “Surprise… too… effective!” I groaned as I convulsed. “Hurgh! Bleh,” I finished as I fell limp.

I heard a gasp and in a moment Pinkie Pie zipped over. “No! It finally happened! My surprise was too good! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she threw her forelegs up and bellowed in anguish.

I then reached and grabbed her, pulling her into a headlock. “Got ya!”

“No! I have been deceived!” she yelled, clearly going along with gag.

“And now… NOOGIE!” I yelled as I rubbed my fist into her head.

“NOOOOOO! THE DREADED NOOGIE!”

At this point just about everyone was laughing, clearly no longer afraid of me. I let go of Pinkie Pie and smiled. “Thanks for going along with that.”

“Okie dokie, lokie!” she replied as she bounced away.

I think I'll leave the social interactions to you.

Yeah, I don't see you being able to pull this off.

Twilight watched Jonathan’s interactions with others carefully. She was still enjoying herself, still having fun, but she was also training herself to spot Kira. As far as she could tell, he hadn't surfaced yet. Jonathan had done well to converse with the citizens of Ponyville, her own friends included. He seemed to able to act goofy enough to be on the same wavelength as Pinkie Pie, as shown before, and yet be polite enough for Rarity when talking to her. Unlike the more sociopathic changes she read about, these seemed to be more genuine like how she had learned to shut down her inner academic to some extent and get competitive with Rainbow Dash in the name of fun, even if it was something she normally wouldn’t do.

As for Jonathan’s three “escorts”, Gale Slash fit into the party atmosphere easily and Twilight could easily see her getting along with Rainbow Dash. Firebrand, however, was all business and didn’t really interact with anyone other than with a curt response, moving from his position by the door only to sample the food and drinks. Rampart was also having trouble interacting with everypony, but rather amazingly it seemed to be due to shyness instead of a dedication to duty. He tried to interact with others when he could but it was obvious it didn't come natural to him and he seemed to be a quiet guy. Not Fluttershy quiet, but still noticeably lacking in social skills.

At the moment Jonathan was talking with Vinyl Scratch and Octavia, who were interested in what kind of music someone from another world had to offer.

“Sounds to me like your music has developed along similar lines as mine. Ou even have the same name for certain genres. Like Disco, or Electronica,” Jonathan noted.

“Yeah, pretty interesting, huh?” Vinyl commented. “If wonder if there are any songs that sound the same.”

“So who would you say your favorite artist is?” Octavia asked, thoroughly enjoying the conversation.

“Easy. Queen, hands down,” he answered.

“‘Queen’? A bit arrogant, in my own opinion.”

“What kind of music does she play?” Vinyls asked.

“Not ‘she’, they. Queen is a band. One of the best rock bands to ever live, and one of the best bands period in my opinion,” Jonathan explained.

“Interesting name for a rock band,” Octavia commented. “Especially when most rock bands try to sound tough like ‘Celestial Hammer’ or ‘Spellslayers’.”

“Well to simply call them a rock band is selling them short. They pioneered, perfected, and experimented with so many genres that they really were legends. Not to mention the lead singer Farrokh Bulsara, or as he’s better known by his stage name Freddie Mercury, was truly one of the best voices to grace rock and music in general.”

“You're really singing his praises, if you'll pardon the pun,” Octavia chuckled.

“Is he really that great?” Vinyl asked.

“He had a vocal range of four octaves, and made use of every last bit of it,” Jonathan boasted.

“Four octaves!? Gracious, I know opera singers that don’t have that kind of range!” Octavia gaped.

“Damn! I wish I could listen to this guy!” Vinyl added.

“You really should check out their-” Jonathan said before he cut himself off, his smile fading. “Oh, right. I forgot. I’m in another world, and they don’t exist here, so you can’t just find them,” he realized, disheartened. He then pulled something out of his pocket. “And it’s not like this is going to last long.”

“What’s that?” Vinyl asked.

“Well, um… it’s a lot of things, but most of those functions depend on outside systems that don’t exist here. So right now it’s a very expensive music player.”

“You mean like a… portable phonograph?” Octavia asked.

“Well, it’s a bit more advanced than that. It doesn’t just play music, it also stores it.”

“So there are songs already on it? How many?” Vinyl asked.

“Well, this one has more than four thousand songs on it, but there’s probably room for a few thousand more.”

“‘More than four thousand’!?” Octavia shouted in surprise, Vinyl’s jaw dropped as well. Twilight, who had been listening up to this point as well, spat out her drink in shock… and then marvelled at the technological possibilities.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m going to be using it any time soon. The battery life only lasts so long, and without a way to recharge it, it might as well be a paperweight now.”

“... Um… I might be able to do something about that,” Twilight offered.

“Really?” Jonathan asked, surprised.

“Well, it probably wouldn’t be as good as what you have, and electricity is something of a luxury, and I might need to take apart and study the device, but I think I could do something.”

“... I’m not exactly comfortable with you taking it apart, but I’ll keep it in mind. Come to me again when you’ve got some more of an idea of how you would get it to work.”

Twilight smiled. “I will!”

“Hey, why don’t you try singing some Queen’s songs?” Vinyl asked. “I know it’s not the same, but I’d like to hear some of it.”

“I dunno. My vocal range is two octaves at best, and without musical accompaniment it’s not really doing it justice,” Jonathan said somewhat hesitantly.

“Aw, come on! How else are we gonna hear it?”

“... You know what? The hell with it. You do not deserve to be deprived of Queen, even an inferior version of them,” he said before gulping down his punch.

“Sweet! Hey everypony, Jonathan’s gonna sing!” Vinyl called out, catching everypony’s attention.

“Vinyl!” Octavia chided.

“Come on, if they were all talking we wouldn’t be able to hear him!”

“Way to put me on the spot,” Jonathan groaned before clearing his throat. He then performed a few vocal exercises, going up to two octaves but starting to strain a bit near the top notes. “Alright everyone, allow me to introduce you, as much as I can, to Queen.”

Jonathan began by stomping his foot twice, followed by a single clap of his hand. The beat of “thud, thud, clap” continued a few times before he began to sing.

“~Buddy you’re a boy, make a big noise, playin’ in the street, gonna be a big MAN SOME DAY
You got mud on yo’ face
Ya big dis-grace
Kickin’ your can all over the place Singin’

WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!

WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!”

His voice was powerful and somewhat gritty, like he was a hoofball coach trying to psych up the team before a big game.

“~Buddy you’re a young man, hard man, shoutin’ in the street, gonna take on the WORLD SOME DAY
You got blood on yo’ face
Ya big dis-grace
Wavin’ your banner all over the place

WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!
SING IT!
WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!”

Some of the ponies actually joined in, stomping along in time with him. Rainbow Dash in particular looked to be enjoying it.

“~Buddy you’re an old man, poor man, pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some PEACE SOME DAY
You got mud on yo’ face
Ya big dis-grace
Some-body better put you back into your PLACE

WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!
SING IT!
WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!
Everybody
WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!
WEEEE WIIIIILL, WEEEE WIIIILL ROCK YOU!”

Jonathan stopped and everypony cheered, having sung the last part with him and really getting into it. Jonathan simply took a drink from his punch before clearing his throat. He then began to snap a beat a few times before starting straight into the next song.

“~She keeps a Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’, she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built iiiin
Remedyyyy
For Kruscheeeev
And Kenedyyyy
At anytiiiime
An invitation you can’t decliiiiiiiiiine

Caviaaar and cigarettes
Well-veeeersed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She’s a killer queeeeeen
Gunpowder gelatine
Dynamiiiiite with a laser beam
Guaranteeeeed to blow your miiiiiiind
Anytiiiiiiiime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

His tone wasn’t harsh anymore, now it had an air sophistication to it. His arms gestured in a controlled and dignified manner, as if he was a noble speaking to other nobles at social gathering. Except for the chorus, where there was more power in his vocals and the notes climbed to almost falsetto heights. But what really caught Twilight’s attention was that the name of the song was the name of Kira’s Stand. More importantly, some aspects seemed to describe what she’d read about Kira himself.

The guide did say that musical references were abundant in Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. Maybe if I pay attention to the lyrics I can get an even better look into Kira. Let’s see the first part seems to be talking about Kira’s detached and sophisticated behavior, not to mention his practiced politeness and culture. Obviously the chorus is a reference to the Killer Queen’s explosive powers.

“~To avoid complications she never kept the same address
In conversation she spoke just like a baroness
Met a maaaan from Chinaaaa
Went down to Geisha Minah
But then again incidentally if you’re that way incliiiiiined

Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars she couldn’t care less
Fastidious and precise!

She’s a killer queeeeeen
Gunpowder gelatine
Dynamiiiiite with a laser beam
Guaranteeeeed to blow your miiiiiiind
Anytiiiiiiiime”

Alright, the beginning is obviously about Kira’s desire to avoid conflict, and then end is Kira’s sophistication and handsomeness. Not sure what the part about “China” is about.

“~Drop of a hat she’s as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
She absolutely DRIVES YOU WIIIIIIIIILD
WIIIIIIIIIILD
She all out to get you”

I see the reference to Killer Queen’s cat-like appearances, the rest seems to be about the highs and lows of Kira’s hand addiction, with the desire bubbling up only to die down when being satisfied.

“~She’s a killer queeeeeen
Gunpowder gelatine
Dynamiiiiite with a laser beam
Guaranteeeeed to blow your miiiiiiind
Anytiiiiiiiime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
You wanna try?”

Jonathan reached over to his cup, signaling that the song had ended. There was plenty of applause as he drank to recover his voice.

“Whoa, that was from the same singer?” Vinyl asked, impressed at the variance.

“Despite the noticeable change in tone, there still seems to be an emphasis on dramatics,” Octavia noted.

Jonathan finished his drink and smirked mischievously. “Oh believe me, we’ve only reached the tip of the iceberg on how different Queen can sound between songs,” he boasted before inhaling deeply and then throwing his head back to bellow the first note.

“~AAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU GONNA TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH RIGHT BESIDE THAT RED FIRELIGHT?
AAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU GONNA LET IT ALL HANG OUT?
FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKING WORLD GO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!”

Many ponies spat out the their drinks in shock. Vinyl, Rainbow Dash, and Gale Slash were laughing at those reactions.

“Wh-What!?” Rarity sputtered.

Jonathan’s voice chuckled and continued to sing in a bombastic voice that sounded right at home with anypony from Appleloosa.

“~I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nurseryyyyyyyyy
Along alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made bad boy outta meeeeeeee!”

Twilight couldn’t believe it. The song was one of the most raunchy things she had heard outside a smut book poorly disguised as a romance novel, and yet with the power of the vocals and the pure enjoyment that Jonathan clearly had singing… she found herself actually enjoying it, too.

“~I’ve been singing with my band
‘Cross the wire, ‘cross the land
I’ve seen every blue eyed floosie on the waaaaaaay
But their beauty and their style went kinda smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies everytiiiiiiiiime!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH WON’T YOU TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH DOWN BESIDE YOUR RED FIRELIGHT
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH AND YOU GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT
FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKING WORLD GO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!
FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKING WORLD GO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!”

Jonathan stopped there, clearing his throat with some difficulty before pouring himself another cup of punch and taking a few swigs.

“Jeez dude, talk about whiplash!” Vinyl joked.

Jonathan cleared his throat again. “Oh, don’t worry. We’re about to swing back.”

“~Oooooh, you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me
It’s youuuuu, you’re all I seeeeeee
Oooooh, you make me live now honey
Oooooh, you make me live

Oooooooh you’re the best friend
That I ever had
I’ve been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine
And I want you to know that my feelings are true
I really looooooove youuuuuuuuu
Ooooooh, you’re my best friend”

The two was almost a complete 180 from the previous song, a gentle yet passionate tone of confessing long held feelings of gratitude. Jonathan was smiling earnestly as he rocked back and forth slightly, and many ponies joined him.

“~Oh, I’ve been WAAAAAAAAANDERING ‘rouuuuund
Still come back to youuuuuuu
In rain or shiiiiine
You’ve stood by my giiiiiirl
I’m haaaaaaaaappy at hooooome
You’re my best friend.”

At this point everypony was swaying back and forth with the song, Twilight included. This really sounded like something that would’ve awoken heartsong in those around them, which made it all the more impressive that it came from the same band. He wasn’t kidding when he said their works were varied.

“~Oooooh, you make me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I got youuuuu to help me forgive
Oooooh, you make me live now honey!
Oooooh, you make me live

Oooooh you’re the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I’ll never be lonely
You’re my only one
And I looooove the things
I really LOOOOOOOOVE the things that you dooooooo
Ooooooh, you’re my best friend”

Jonathan went to take another drink and was met with another round of applause. Twilight noted even Fluttershy was smiling warmly, obviously touched by the heartfelt lyrics. After clearing his throat he went right into the next song, rapidly tapping his foot to keep time.

“Well you’re just seventeen
All you wanna do is disappear
You know what I mean
There’s a lot of space between your ears
The way that you touch don’t feel no-no-nothin’

Hey hey hey hey!
It was the D.N.A.!
Hey hey hey hey!
That made me this way!

Do you know, do you know, do you know just how I feel?
Do you know, do you know, do you know just how I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!?

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER HEART ATTACK!
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER HEART ATTACK!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL CARDIAC!

I feeeeeel so inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-ticulate!”

Yet another drastic change in tone, there was an almost manic energy behind this one, emphasized by the bobbing of Jonathan’s head as he rapidly tapped his foot. In addition was the way he seemed to almost scream out “Sheer Heart Attack” and “Real Cardiac,” as well as the exaggerated head bobs for every note of “inar” that made it almost look like he was convulsing from a seizure.

Most importantly, this was another song a Stand was named for, so Twilight took mental notes. The first part seems to be talking about Kira’s desire to fade into the background, and that all his interactions with others are meaningless are they are meant to do nothing more than keep him in a favorable position. It also seems to reference how he’s a born killer, and not just something he picked up from circumstance. This also seems to be about a time when he’s starting to crack from anger and anxiety.

“~Gotta feelin’, gotta feelin’, gotta feelin’ like a paralyse
It ain’t no, it ain’t no, it ain’t no, it ain’t no surprise
Turn on the T.V. let it drip right down in your eyes

Hey hey hey hey!
It was the D.N.A.!
Hey hey hey hey!
That made me this way!

Do you know, do you know, do you know just how I feel?
Do you know, do you know, do you know just how I feel?

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER HEART ATTACK!
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER HEART ATTACK!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL CARDIAC!

I feeeeeel so inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-inar-ticulate!”

Jonathan stopped and went for his cup, taking a few swigs before clearing his throat.

“Dang, dude! You all right?” Vinyl asked.

Jonathan paused to clear his throat. “Yeah, just haven’t pushed my vocals this hard in a while.”

“I’m not surprised. It almost sounded like you were screeching some of those notes,” Octavia added.

“Yeah, but I think I got a few left in me,” he assured them as he cleared his throat again before starting another song.

“~Toniiiiiiight I’m gonna have myseeeeeeeeeeelf a real good time
I feel aliiiii-iiii-iiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiive
And the wooooooooooooorld
I’ll turn it inside ouuuuuuut, yeah
I’m floating arouuuuuund in ecstasy so
Don’t stop me noooooooooow
Don’ stop me”

He sang in a melodic voice as he slowly stepped towards the center of the room. Then suddenly, his voice gained power and the lyrics gained speed, as did his own movements.

“~’Cause I’m havin’ a good time
Havin’ a good time!

I’m a shootin’ star leaping through the skyyyyyyy
Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravityyyyyyy
I’m a racing car, passin’ byyyyy like Lady Godiva!
I’m gonna go, go, go, there’s not stoppin’ meeeeeeeee!”

On that last verse he spun three times before leaping into the air and spinning like a dancer, landing perfectly on his feet. Everypony was starting to get swept up in his energy.

“~I’m burning through the skyyyyyyy!
Two hundred degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheeeeeiiiiiiiit!
I’m travelin’ at the speed of liiiiiight
I wanna make a supersonic man outta you!

Don’t stop me nooooow!
I’m havin’ such a good time
I’m havin’ a ball
Don’t stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call!
‘Cause I’m havin’ a good time
Yes I’m havin’ a good time
I don’t wanna stop at aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!”

As she saw Jonathan sing his heart out, dancing and spinning in the middle of the floor like he was in a musical, only one thought entered her mind. I guess it’ll be easier to tell Jonathan and Kira apart after all. At the same time Pinkie pulled out a tambourine and began to play it in time to the his singing.

“~I’m a rocket ship on my way to Maaaaars
On a collision course
I am a satellite
I’m out of control
I’m a sex machine ready to relooooaaad
Like an atom bomb!
About to oh-oh-oh-oh-oh exploooooooode!

I’m burning through the skyyyyyyy!
Two hundred degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheeeeeiiiiiiiit!
I’m travelin’ at the speed of liiiiiight
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you!”

He stopped dancing for a moment to quickly tap his foot.

“~Don’t stop me, don’t stop me, don’t stop me
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me, ooh-ooh-ooh!
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me
Have a good time, good time!
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me, OOOOOOOOOOOH!”

Jonathan jumped and spun in time with rise in notes before landing and continuing.

“~I’m burning through the skyyyyyyy!
Two hundred degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheeeeeiiiiiiiit!
I’m travelin’ at the speed of liiiiiight
I wanna make a supersonic man outta you!

Don’t stop me nooooow!
I’m havin’ such a good time
I’m havin’ a ball
Don’t stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call!
‘Cause I’m havin’ a good time
Yes I’m havin’ a good time
I don’t wanna stop at aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!”

Jonathan bowed to the cheers he received after his big finish. As he went for his cup Octavia smirked. “Singer and dancer? Well aren’t you talented?”

“I did plenty of school musicals,” he answered before downing the rest of his cup. He coughed and went to fill it again. “Think I’ve only got a couple more left in me,” he said before taking another drink.

“Well go ahead, lay ‘em on us!” Vinyl encouraged.

Jonathan finished his drink before snapping again while strutting to the center of the floor.

“~Steve walks warily down the street with the brim pulled way down low
Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet, machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this, are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat, yeah!”

Jonathan stopped in the center of the room, and still snapping.

“~Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust”

He then began to point and snap at ponies randomly.

“~And another gone, and another gone, another one bites the dust”

He then spun suddenly to point to Twilight.

“~Hey! I’m gonna get you too, another one bites the dust”

Was so shocked at this, thinking that maybe she had misread Jonathan and that this was Kira the whole time, and that he had known she knew about his powers the whole time, that she forgot to take notes on the first verse of the reference for the the final power of Killer Queen. In the meantime, Pinkie somehow pulled out a microphone attached to a stand with what looked like the bottom half missing. Jonathan actually seemed particularly surprised at this, before smiling like a foal getting a Hearth’s Warming present and bellowing the next verse into the mic, even though it wasn’t connected to anything.

“~How do you think I’m gonna get along without you when you’re gone!?
You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own!
ARE YOU HAPPY, ARE YOU SATISFIED, HOW LONG CAN YOU STAND THE HEAT!?
OUT OF THE DOORWAY THE BULLETS RIP!
TO THE SOUND OF THE BEAT, LOOK OUT!

Another one bites the dust!

Another one bites the dust!

And another gone, and another gone, another one bites the dust!

Hey! I’m gonna get you too, another one bites the dust!”

This time he pointed at Gale Slash, who just smirked and pointed back. Now more convinced than before this was Jonathan, not Kira, Twilight observed the lyrics.

The lyrics seem to reference Kira’s confidence after maturing and gaining Bites the Dust, as well as how it almost casually takes out all his enemies without him even needing to worry about them. The second verse seems to specifically refer to Kira’s feeling of being cornered after killing Hayato, not to mention how he had been forced to abandon his life after being found out by Josuke and the others and his frustration with that situation.”

“~Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust, ow!
Another one bites the dust, hey hey!
Another one bites the dust
HEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEE-EEE-EEEY!
Ooooooh sha!”

As he sand that long “hey” Jonathan slowly squatted down towards the floor to the point he was almost sitting, standing only on the balls of his feet, before quickly rising.

“~There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man and BRING HIM TO THE GROUND!
You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad and LEAVE HIM WHEN HE’S DOWN!
But I’m ready!
Yes I’m ready for you, I’m standin’ on my own two feet!
Out of the doorway the bullets rip, repeating to the sound of the beat
Oooooo yeeeeeeaaaaaaah!”

Referring once again to Kira’s confidence and how he feels he can take apart any of his enemies.

“~Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another gone, and another gone, another one bites the dust!

Hey! I’m gonna get you too, another one bites the dust!”

Jonathan headed over to his cup of punch, receiving another round of applause. He coughed a few times and then quickly downed his cup in one go, coughing a few more times to clear his throat before going for another for another cup. After quickly drinking all of it, he coughed one more time, before turning to the crowd. “Alright folks, the old pipes are starting to strain a little bit, but I think I can push out one more song for you. And what’s better to finish of the evening than with a sappy love song?” he joked. He got stomps of applause and cheers in response before he inhaled deeply and brought the microphone to his lips.

“~I
Was born
Toooooo love you
With eeeeevery single beat
Of my heart
Yes I
Was born
To take care of youuuuuuu, woman
Every single day!”

He then began to tap his foot to the beat that only he could hear.

“~Alright!

I
Was born
Toooo love youuuu
With eeeeeevery single beat of my heart
Yes I
Was born
To take care of youuuuuu
Eeeeevery single day
Of my liiiiiiiife!

You are the one for me, I am the man for you
You were made for me, you’re my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity!
I’d kill for you love

So take a chance with me, let me romance with you
I’m caught in a dream and this dream’s come true
It’s so hard to believe this is happening to me!
AN AMAAAAZING!
FEEEEEELING!
COOOOOOOOOMING THROOOOOOUUUUUGH!”

Everypony cheered as he literally threw his head back and bellowed those notes.

“~I
Was born
Toooo love you
With eeeeeevery single beat of myyyyyy heart
Yeah I
Was born
To take care of youuuuuu, honey
Every single day
Of my liiiiiiiife!

I wanna love youuuuuuuu
I love every little thing about you
I wanna love you, love you, love youuuuu

Born to love you
Born to love you
Yeeeees I was born to love you
Born to love you
Born to love you!
EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Of my life.”

Jonathan paused for a few moments to pretend to play guitar with the stick of his microphone before continuing.

“~AN AMAAAAZING!
FEEEEEELING!
COOOOOOOOOMING THROOOOOOUUUUUGH!

I
Was born
Toooo love youuuu
With eeeeeevery single beat of my heart
Yeeeeeaaaaah I
Was born
To take care of youuuuuu!
Every single day!
Of my liiiiiiiiiife!

I
Was born
Toooo love youuuu
Eeeeeeeeeevery single day!

Of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!”

With that final note he bowed to thunderous applause. “Thank you Ponyville! Good night!” Jonathan walked over to Pinkie Pie, holding the microphone out in front of him. “You knew. Somehow, you knew. How?” Pinkie simply smiled and shrugged in response. “Can I keep it?”

“Sure!”

Jonathan’s reaction was to do a small fist pump as he smiled with joy.

Vinyl and Octavia approached him from behind. “Jonathan you gotta to meet with us later!” Vinyl said.

“Huh? Um, okay. About what?”

“You have a spectacular voice, and I can tell you have an amazing ear for music! I’d like to see if we can introduce you to some musical aficionados!” Octavia explained.

“Um, I appreciate the compliment, but I don’t really have an interesting in being famous. I’d like a calm life with some occasional excitement, not the constant stress of a celebrity.”

Twilight caught that, and was a little nervous. But even still, she really didn’t know that much about Jonathan. Maybe he also appreciated some quiet time, like going out on a picnic or reading a book.

“Please, you have to work with us to some extent!” Octavia insisted.

“Well… how about this, I’ll write out some song lyrics and every so often I’ll head over to your place, and we’ll try and recreate some songs from scratch. How about that?”

“That sounds awesome!” Vinyl exclaimed.

Twilight smiled. I guess things will be alright after all.

Queen Chrysalis landed hard along with her other changelings. She struggled through the pain to gain her bearings, only for her eyes to be assaulted with pink. The area they had found themselves in was practically overrun with adorable furry kitten like creatures that swarmed all over them, hugging and offering them treats as and gifts at an alarming rate.

“Wha… what?” she thought aloud, dumbfounded by this behavior.

“My Queen,” one of her guards began. “We’re much too weak to launch another attack on Canterlot right away. What do we do? We need to regain our strength! Regroup! Form another plan…”

Chrysalis observed the creatures around her, having somehow already organized a parade in their honor. “Hmm. Theses creatures are very loving…” she licked her lips. “And we do feed on love. I guess we could eat,” she said and immediately began to drain the creature closest to her of its energy. Her changelings followed suit, and within minutes the surrounded area was covered in changeling slime with the creatures all collapsed from being drained.

“We’ll have the rest of this place converted to our needs within the month,” her guard explained.

“Good… good,” Chrysalis replied, enjoying how rapid the change in scenery had been.

“It may still be a while before we can attack Celestia again. She’ll be expecting us.”

“Feh to Celestia. She isn’t my target anymore.”

“Wha… What? My Queen, but-” he began to interject.

“I want Celestia’s little pet, Twilight Sparkle,” she seethed with anger. “Perfect little Twilight. Clever little Twilight. Brilliant little Twilight. She saw through it all… It’s her fault we aren’t rebuilding Canterlot into our newest conquest! And then there’s that Stand User, that hairless ape in suit! How dare her attack me! How dare he look down on me!” She turned her gaze to her crystal ball. “Well, I’ll get them both… and Twilight’s little pony friends, too. I’m going to bring that purple menace here… Put her through trials that will band them together. Then, when their emotions are peaked, I’m going to drain Twilight Sparkle.”

“Why drain her? We have plenty of these guys left?” the guard asked, holding up one of the locals who, despite all the devastation they had caused, was more than willing to offer up its love.

“I’m not going to drain her love… I’m going to drain her magic,” she smirked sinisterly. She then looked up and saw the comet overhead. “And I know exactly when I’m going to do it, too.”

“And what about the Stand User?” the guard asked.

“It’ll take some time, but we’ll make sure he bonds with them as well, if he hasn’t already. And if I can’t drain him… I’ll end him.”

Author's Note

Phew! Another long chapter! As you can see, I'm adding the comics into this story as well, but not all of them. I think it'll be interesting to have Jonathan/Kira to have an arch-nemesis in Chrysalis, considering her repeat appearances in both the comics and the show.

I hope you all enjoy, and to hear all the songs in there Queenly glory... BEHOLD:

Also, consider donating to my Patreon, if you're feeling generous.

See you guys next time, and I hope you enjoy!