What Went Wrong?

by Nade Spam

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 1458

What happens when an unfortunate man gets 'picked' to test a top secret project for his doughnut factory?

David, a normal everyday doughnut factory worker guy is picked (totally not stacked or anything) to test a super over classified mega top secret project that his company 'worked on' (not stolen) for the past 2 weeks and now has to risk a microscopic salary reduction if he doesn't do it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-04 05:13:55 UTC

My Boss is a Dick

"David, hey David wake up." That's all I hear in my dreams before I force my eyes awake "whaa..." When my eyes have recovered from the sudden light I can finally see who it is. "Mr. Bise? Sir? How did you..." My boss rudely interrupted me "David we need you now, it's time.".

I could tell my boss saw my confusion until I realized what he was talking about. " Oh fudge turds." The secret project my company has been working on since 2007. The project that I was chosen to test.

I mean what else was I going to do? I was randomly chosen out of the company, and if I didn't accept, I was as good as fired. I really need this job for that vacation to Rio!

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts as my boss instructed " Be there in 1 hour or your salary going down to rock bottom." I waited for him to leave before I quickly showered, changed, and ate breakfast and then headed off to the company lab.

When I arrived, I noticed my boss standing on the curb just staring at his watch. I tried to greet him but he just looked at me and said "David you were .1738287462 seconds late, that's coming out of your paycheck." I must've looked like a complete dumbbell with the way I stared at him because he then doubled the money he was taking out of my paycheck.

After that confusing and pointless confrontation he lead me to the testing chamber, where inside it stood 'Project X' which was decorated like a blue phone booth. I found that odd considering it looked like something I saw a while ago...

"Marvelous isn't it?" I look to my right to see a scientist with a name tag 'Bill' "Umm what is it... Bill?" "Why it's a teleporter of course!" I was still a little confused "To where?" "Anywhere in the world!" Bill excitedly told me, but I was still a bit hesitant to move any further.

"How-" "Quit your stalling and get over there!" My boss jokingly yelled to me, then pushed me into the phone booth/teleporter thing. Not wanting to look like a complete wuss I walked toward the machine. "Wait!" The scientist said "We have to put these monitors on you to make sure you are stable after you teleport!"

"Hold on, Slow Down!" I yelled a bit too aggressively "Don't you at least want to tell me how this works?"

"Right... Ummm. We aren't completely sure..."

"What? How can you not be sure? You made it!"

"Actually we kinda stole it from Walmart."

I started thinking about just bolting when they closed and locked the door in front of me.

"What the Ballsack!"

There is no need for that kind of language David." Mr. Bise commented

Bill looked at me and said

"Just think about where you want to go and maybe that will work"

"'Maybe?' That's not too reassuring"

I'm still not very confident with this scientist

"Trust me, I'm a scientist."

Bill had kind of smirk that little children have when they are doing something mischievous.

"We are preparing the initial start sequence now."

I suddenly felt a rush of panic and said "wha, wha, where do I go? What do I do?"

Bill replied enthusiastically "Just think about where to go and we'll do the rest"

Just a fraction of a second later and I hear the pulling of a switch and the steady noise of reactors. I try to concentrate on where to go but my brain is too distracted by the rush this all is, I mean how am I supposed to think about a place and what I should have for lunch at the same time!? "I think I should go to-" There was a bright flash, then sudden darkness.

So Confused

For a minute or two I couldn't see anything, I could just feel the grass and a slight wind from my left. After that... I still couldn't see but I could hear! "Am I in Rio?" No reply. I think I could somewhat see now. I seemed to be on some sort of road, in a rocky plain or something.

"Hmm I didn't think Rio had this many rocks." By this point I almost fully recovered my sight, then I noticed that all the equipment that the scientists put on me was gone and I don't remember much before that thing in the parking lot.

"Can anyone point me to the nearest hotel?" I heard some shuffling in some bushes nearby, I didn't know either to be scared or relieved so I decided to be both. Before I could say anything a rough voice said something I didn't understand "Umm are you speaking Spanish? Espanol? Espanol?"

It said something else so I turned and quickly fell as I saw what appeared to be a standing dog with a diamond-spiked collar "Am I on crack again?" He... Or she whatever said something again but this time a little more humorously. They then made an attempt at my feet but I quickly realized what it was doing so what I assumed to be my crack reflexes kicked him/her right in the snout. I used his/her sudden confusion to  try and run, but by this time I found out that the teleport must have put me into a state of disorientation and I immediately fell over again.

I could hear the dog running full speed at me, and accepting that I had no where to go I laid there in a ball position. I heard the running stop and I prepared for the worst. I heard a gasp then a female voice said "Leave that thing alone!" I opened my eyes to see the dog whimpering like it was afraid of this person, must be it's owner. "Shoo!" She said, I untucked from my ball form relieved to see a friendly face, another person. "Oh thank you-" I started to say as I was rolling over. What I saw next I did not expect, nor did she by the looks of it. But what stood in front of me was a horse... a HORSE. I quickly sat upright and for the second time today said something a little too aggressively.  "Who the butts are you!?"  "Well I could ask you the same question!" She replied in a really rude tone, but I can understand why. "Is this how you treat a lady who saved your life from slavery?!" She did have a point, well... actually two but it's hard to settle down when was just yelled at. But for the sake of survival against the woman species I had to let her win.

"Okay, Okay I'm sorry." She gave me a pretty snotty look "Hmpf, I forgive you." I felt relieved that she said that but then I remembered I was talking to a horse. "Woe, Woe, Woe, wait a minute, why and how am I talking to a horse?" I finally started to stand up because my tailbone was starting to get really sore because of the small pointy rocks and the dirt I was sitting on. After she saw how tall I was she backed up a little, she probably felt intimidated. She then a little more nervously "What are you any way? What pony put a translation spell on you?" The face I was making clearly showed that I didn't know what she was talking about. She asked again, "Who put a spell on you? I assume your just another creature from the Everfree, and you can't speak Equestrian."

I assumed that the 'Everfree' was the name of the forest we were in, and 'Equestrian' is her language. I also felt somewhat insulted that she mistook me for a woodland creature. "What? I'm not from any dumb forest. I was forced to go into this machine, and then I blacked out and now I'm here." I heard some sort of buzzing and I started whiffing the air for a bee, but apparently she heard it too and peeked behind me. I then turned around after I hear her gasp, only to see some sort of giant pony-bug that was high in the air. I noticed it had green eyes, fangs and was covered in black. She yelled, "A Changeling!? What are they doing here?!" I whipped around back towards the horse... pony whatever before I was swept off my feet by this 'Changeling' and then all I remember was the strange horse's horn start to emulate a teil aura and then the 'Changeling' releasing me before I hit the ground and for a second time; I blacked out.