"Good morning, everypony!" chirped Miss Cheerilee on a sunshiny morning.

"Good Morning, Miss Cheerilee!" they replied.

"As most of you know, your former classmate, Diamond Tiara, has been handed the keys to Ponyville from Princess Twilight herself, and is now the official Queen of Ponyville!" said Cheerilee, still smiling broadly. Almost too broadly. "Diamond Tiara is coming to visit us this morning, and coming with her are the NEW and much IMPROVED Cutie Mark Crusaders! Isn't that exciting???"

Silence.

"What do you mean, improved???" asked a student in the back.

"Well, according to our much beloved new ruler, the former Cutie Mark Crusaders were terribly flawed, so much that they could quite possibly infect you with their weirdness! So, Diamond Tiara has found a way to cure them, making them better than they ever could have been without her compassionate help!"

The class exchanged puzzled glances. Cheerilee was usually perky, but not this perky.

"Speaking of which..." said Cheerilee, gesturing towards the classroom door. It burst open suddenly, Twilight marching in regally. Her mane was done up in a high bun. She wore a light pink blazer with a white collar and a arctic-blue tie, with a silver tiara adorning the back. Her eyes looked dead and empty; the look of somepony who had given up.

"Presenting her Highness... Queen Diamond Tiara!" she bellowed.

Six royal guards with platinum and purple armor carried a silver palanquin glittering with jewels. Diamond sat inside with a smug smile, a blue-and-platinum crown sitting atop her head, and a fuschia, fur lined cape on her back. A platinum necklace with a pink pearl in the middle adorned her neck. She held a platinum, jewel-encrusted scepter with a sparkling, finely cut diamond in the middle surrounded by small sapphires. Something inside the diamond seemed to glow, radiating power.

She nodded to her guards, who set down the palanquin with a deep bow. A fuchsia carpet rolled into the class, stopping right in front of Cheerilee's hooves. Diamond stepped onto the carpet and flashed a glowing smile.

"Hello, my loyal citizens!" she said. "As you already know, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, as they are called, have been mortally afflicted with the terrible disease of weirdness. I have graciously taken it upon myself to cure these poor souls. After much hard work on my part, they have finally been remedied enough to come back out to the public. Twilight, bring 'em out!"

Twilight nodded curtly. Her horn lit up, and a rusty metal cage drifted into the room, the Crusaders inside. With a flick of her horn, the cage opened, the crusaders tumbling out on top of each other.

They were all dressed alike, in pink and blue cheerleader uniforms with the letters 'DT' printed on the front in purple lettering. They had purple and blue pom-poms, and each had their mane and tail cut in a choppy style, except for Apple Bloom, whose mane bounced in springy curls, tied with pink and blue ribbons; multicolored glitter was sprinkled in. All of them had the same look of obvious discomfort.

"Okay girls, you know what to do!" said Diamond, grinning evilly. Twilight lit up her horn and peppy music began to play; the Crusaders all suddenly sprung into action, big cheesy grins on their faces.

"2, 4, 6, 8! Who do we appreciate? DIAMOND! DIAMOND! YAAAY!" they cheered simultaneously. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle lifted Apple Bloom up into the air, where she did a perfect flip and landed flawlessly on her hoofs in front of the other two. They did a rather complicated pattern of cartwheels, ending in Scootaloo landing in front.

"Who rocks the house?
I said the Diamond rocks the house!
And when the Diamond rocks the house,
She rocks it all the way down!"

"DIAMOND! DIAMOND! YAAAAY!" cheered the other two once Scootaloo was done. Scoots and Bloom threw Sweetie Belle up in the air, where she did a double flip and landed on the ground.

"There's nopony like Diamond!
And her leadership is proof!
From the top of her head,
To the bottoms of her hoofs!
Diamond is the greatest!
She can't be beat!
She's the Queen of Ponyville,
Which is super sweet!"

"DIAMOND! DIAMOND! YAAAAAY!"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both performed double backflips, facing each other in a kneeling position, front legs outstretched. Apple Bloom sprung up, did a corkscrew in midair, and touched down on Sweetie's and Scootaloo's hooves.

"Cheer on for Diamond!
The very best Queen!
Simply the greatest that you have ever seen!
Bows on high!
Spirit on gleam!
Tiara, oh yes!
She'll always reign supreme!"

"DIAMOND!" they shouted, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo flinging Apple Bloom up in the air.

"DIAMOND!" they screamed, this time even louder; Bloom was still in the air.

"YAAAAAY!" they screeched, catching Apple Bloom impeccably and grinning wider than ever.

The music stopped, and so did the crusaders. Apple Bloom lost her balance, collapsing on top of Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

"W-what just happened?" she asked, rubbing her head.

Diamond narrowed her eyes at them and smiled. "At that, my fair foals, is the new and improved Cutie Mark Crusaders! Give them a hoof, everypony!"

As if on cue, the whole class gave a smattering of applause. The crusaders smiled weakly, obviously embarrassed.

"And now I must go." said Diamond putting on a mock pouty face. "But perhaps if you're lucky, I'll make a few surprise visits every now and then! Ta-ta!"

She climbed back onto the palanquin, and the carpet rolled back up. The crusaders were crammed back into the cage by the Royal Guards. Twilight carried them away with her magic, and the guards hauled Diamond out. The classroom door slammed shut, and all was quiet.

There was silence for a bit, and then Cheerilee spoke.

"Well, wasn't that simply DIVINE, class??? Now then, let's move on to literature. I'd like you to write a 2,000 word essay on why you think Diamond Tiara is going to be the best thing that ever happened to Ponyville..."

Author's Note

I'm really not very into this story anymore. It'll probably wrap up really fast.

I'm really only continuing this for those who have been asking me about it for months. You know who you are.