The Mane Six Play Dodgeball

by Starburst Gleam

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random, Human, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Lyra
Length: 4212

When Twilight entered Canterlot High, she ought to have attended classes, right?

Twilight Sparkle attended Canterlot high for a short while, but as a student, she should have attended classes. So what would happen if she, a pony only just getting used to a new body, had to play dodgeball?

Published 2014-12-05 03:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-05 03:40:11 UTC

Let's Play Dodgeball

Fluttershy hated gym class. She just wasn't good at sports. She couldn't run fast, jump high or throw a ball as hard as the other students. The only good thing about gym class was that she wasn't picked last all the time anymore. That was because she had such good friends, whenever one of them was captain they would pick her.

"Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash was captain a lot. She was the best at gym, and she would always pick Fluttershy first. It made her feel happy knowing that her friend wanted her on her team more than all the other students who were good at sport.

Fluttershy knew she was a bit of a burden on her team. Today they were going to be playing dodgeball, and she was terrible at it. The most she could do was run around trying to dodge, and be a distraction. Which she didn't mind, because with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie on the same team, they almost always won.

"Bon Bon!" Lyra Heartstrings was captain of the other team. Lyra had always been nice to Fluttershy, but she knew that after teams were chosen, it was a battlefield on the dodgeball court. Lyra could be very competitive. Nearly as competitive as a Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Nearly. In fact, almost everyone in the class was competitive. Except for Fluttershy and Rarity. Rarity disliked dodgeball almost as much as Fluttershy, though Fluttershy had little idea why. Rarity could actually be quite good at sports if she wanted, but not dodgeball.

"Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie jumped up and down, skipping over to her team. Bon Bon and Lyra looked over as Pinkie and Rainbow high fived each other, and gulped. Then Lyra pursed her lips, obviously coming up with a plan.

"Applejack!" The farm girl shrugged, walking over to her team casually. But Fluttershy knew she was happy. Applejack often said she wanted to beat Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie at their favourite game, which was dodgeball.

Lyra flashed a smile at Rainbow Dash, who narrowed her eyes. Applejack was a very good player. Well. Two could play that game.

"Ditzy!" Everyone gasped. What was Rainbow Dash thinking? Ditzy Doo could possibly be the worst dodgeball player ever. She was a walking dodgeball magnet. She tripped over the ball when she tried to throw, and fell on her face when she attempted to catch it. The only thing Ditzy had going for her was that somehow every ball inexplicably missed her. Unfortunately, whenever she did manage to throw the ball, it was so easy to catch she would get out. Fluttershy wondered if that was the plan.

"Time Turner!" Fluttershy looked over who was left to be picked from.

There was Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle, the new girl. She was reading a book.(1) There was also Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl was pretty good at dodgeball, but she wasn't good at dodging. She didn't seem to notice the balls flying at her half the time. Fluttershy often wondered if it was because she was wearing giant headphones, and whenever you stood within five metres of her, you could hear faint music coming out of them.

Octavia was certainly better at dodging than Vinyl, but was a bit... Delicate when it came to throwing. Fluttershy had noticed that a lot of the time, people had a sort of pairing system. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie always ended up near each other when they were on a team, Vinyl and Octavia, Bon Bon and Lyra, Time Turner and Ditzy Doo. Some people, like Applejack, Rarity and herself didn't have a partner, though sometimes Fluttershy and Rarity would bump into each other when running away from the dodgeball. And no one had seen Twilight play before.

"Twilight!" Twilight looked up from her book, a bit shocked (2). She then smiled happily and walked over to Rainbow and everyone.

"Wow Rainbow, thanks for picking me. I haven't played this game before and -"

"You haven't played dodgeball before?" Pinkie Pie interrupted, looking quite flabbergasted. Dodgeball was a staple sport in Canterlot High. Everyone knew how to play it.

"Well no..." Twilight looked a little concerned, but once again Pinkie interrupted.

"Well don't worry, Rainbow and I are great at it, just watch us!"

"Don't worry Twilight. It's easy. You just gotta throw the ball, and if it hits someone without touching the ground, they get out." Rainbow Dash said, as Lyra chose Vinyl Scratch to join her team.

"And if you catch a ball someone threw without it touching the ground, whoever threw it gets out! And you get a player on your team who was out to come back in!" Pinkie Pie mimed catching a dodgeball.

"Rarity! Oh, and you're not allowed to hit anyone on the head. That's against the rules, if you do it you automatically get out and whoever you hit gets to stay." Rainbow Dash finished explaining, gesturing to the top of her shoulders and pointing at her feet to show where you could hit someone.

"Well, that doesn't seem too complicated." Twilight seemed slightly relieved as Rarity joined the group.

"Oh I'm so glad I get to join your team. Same plan as always darlings?" Rainbow Dash nodded, and Rarity promptly walked over to one corner of the field.

"Umm, what's the plan?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash throws all the balls, Pinkie Pie catches any balls that go her way, and the rest of us dodge and pick up balls for Rainbow Dash to throw." Fluttershy replied happily.

"How can Rainbow Dash manage to do that all by herself?" Twilight asked.

"I'm very good at throwing. And Pinkie Pie can catch any ball that's thrown within five metres of her." Rainbow a Dash boasted proudly.

"Usually people throw the balls everywhere except to me though. So I just go stand near Rainbow Dash. But then everyone starts throwing at Fluttershy and Rarity, so I go stand over near them, then they throw near Rainbow Dash, so I-" Pinkie was interrupted by Rainbow Dash placing a hand over her mouth.

"What Pinkie is trying to say is that people avoid throwing balls at her because it's a sure fire way to get out. Pinkie never drops a ball. The only way to get her out is to catch a ball she throws."

"Which I don't have to, because Rainbow Dash does that!" Pinkie said happily.

"You guys ready?" Lyra asked, her team already ready to go.

"Ready! Okay everyone, remember the plan!" Rainbow Dash called.

Fluttershy went over to her designated spot, which was in the corner opposite Rarity. Twilight stood awkwardly in-between the two, Ditzy was looking out the window on the sides, and Pinkie and Rainbow were staring down the other team (3). On the other side, Lyras team were getting into formation themselves. Lyra and Bon Bon in the middle, facing down Rainbow, Pinkie and Twilight. Vinyl was in the corner, not paying much attention. Octavia was next to her, obviously annoyed. Applejack and Time Turner were on the other side, and were getting ready to run.

"And... GO!!!" The gym teacher blew his whistle and all Tartarus broke loose, with Rainbow and Pinkie storming for the dodgeballs, and five out of six of the other team doing the same. Fluttershy watched carefully from her corner, in case someone tried to aim at her. Octavia, having managed to snatch a dodgeball right out of Pinkies grasp, had wisely decided not to try and hit the light pink person, who was currently bouncing away happily in search of a ball. Instead, she aimed for Fluttershy, who was well-known to be a poor catcher.

There was a small 'eep' as the target jumped out of the way. She then gently picked up the ball, and ran over to Rainbow Dash, who was running out of ammo.

"Quick Fluttershy! Throw that over here!" Fluttershy obliged, and Rainbow expertly caught it turned, and threw it at Vinyl, hitting her square on the arm, all in about two seconds.

"Vinyl, you're out!"

"Wait, the game started?" The blue haired girl then shrugged, and put her headphones back on.

Twilight looked around frantically. So far, no one had thrown a ball at her. No, they had bigger fish to fry, and she was untested. A variable. It was like an equation. They had had it perfectly sorted out. Everyone knew who was the best, and who was not. Then they threw in a variable. Her. And as she knew from school in Equestria, algebra scared many fillies and colts. Perhaps it did the same here. If they taught algebra. But it didn't scare her.

She found a lone dodgeball lying on the ground, abandoned after missing its target. She picked it up, attempting to put on an air of control. Sure enough, a few of the other team was keeping an eye on her, as well as looking toward the two powerhouses that were Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

Twilight looked around for a suitable target. Vinyl was already out. Lyra and Bon Bon were locked in combat with Rainbow Dash. However, they also glanced around regularly to check for other enemies. Octavia was too far back in the field for Twilight to be able to throw hard enough to hit her. Time Turner was moving too fast, preferring to run around. But Applejack was sneaking around, clearly intending an attempt to sneak up on Pinkie Pie. Completely immersed in her task. Perfect.

Twilight began sneaking herself. She ducked behind people, dodged balls, and put on a bravado of 'I can totally do this' which she was sure was intimidating the competition. If she had not gotten wrapped up in her task herself, she would have noticed Time Turner watching her inquisitively as she attempted to be a ninja, with her limbs flailing about awkwardly, and nearly dropping her own dodgeball numerous times. She would also have noticed she looked about as intimidating as Fluttershy (on her good days). And lastly, she would have noticed him throwing a dodgeball directly at her, hitting her on the back and knocking the dodgeball to the ground, followed by her unceremoniously tripping.

"Nice one!" Applejack high-fived him as the purple pony princess stalked to the sidelines, trying to figure out what in Equestria went wrong.

Rarity was never quite in the mood for dodgeball. Most sports were alright, she could throw a basketball ten metres and could be quite deadly with a tennis racquet, but had never been able to completely grasp the idea of dodgeball. Throwing a ball at someone so they can catch it is all very well and good, but throwing a ball at someone with the very intent of hitting them? Preposterous.

She would have liked to simply get out and get it over with, but she did not enjoy having a ball hit her. She would have tried her best to let someone else catch a ball on the full, but did not want to hinder her own team by letting them get one of their own back. So instead, she continually dodged. She was quite good at it by this point.

Besides, she was perfectly happy with Rainbow and Pinkie doing it all. Fluttershy could be handy at the game, after all, she was so observant she never missed any cheating, and was willing to be a decoy when needed. Twilight obviously wasn't particularly good at the game, but it was her first go, and she did try. Ditzy was still standing off the side, staring out the window. She was a nice girl, no one had a bad thing to say about her, but sometimes there was gossip that she wasn't right in the head. Rarity never liked to indulge in gossip, but she couldn't help herself. She didn't believe there was something wrong with the girls head. She was just a dreamer, who liked to slow down and smell the roses. Or muffins. Nothing wrong with that.

Rarity was considering going and talking to Ditzy, perhaps find out what was interesting her so. She didn't seem to have many friends, though Time Turner was awfully close to her (there was gossip for that too) and she loved helping out with the younger children's classes. However, she was stopped by a dodgeball flying towards her. With very little time to react, she instinctively held up her arms to protect her hair. The ball bounced off her arms, and dropped harmlessly to the floor.

"Rarity, you're out!"

She didn't mind. Perhaps tomorrow they would play a more enjoyable game. Refined. Something that she could enjoy. Like croquet. Or badminton. Or her most favourite sport of all time.

Hockey.

Oh she just loved swinging the stick just below the limit, and hitting the ball all the way across the field, occasionally smacking a few idiots who got in the way.

Pinkie Pie loved dodgeball. There was so much dodging to be done, but who would dodge when you can catch every ball, without it ever touching the ground! You can do that when the laws of physics themselves bend to your will. Of course, she could only make them go a little out of wack. If she went full-blown not using physics at all, then people would start to get suspicious.

So to make up for it, she used her mind-blowing powers (4) to be unstoppable in dodgeball. Well, nearly. Her throws were pretty easy to catch, so she had decided to not throw at all. Rainbow made up for that perfectly well.

"Hey Pinkie, get everyone over here!" Rainbow whispered to her. Couldn't let the other team figure out what we were doing.

She zipped along to Fluttershy and Ditzy, who came into the middle with Rainbow. The other team had few of the balls, but wouldn't dare throw any of them, because she was so close to everyone else.

"You guys gonna throw, or do I have to do it for you?" Rainbow taunted.

"You know perfectly well why we ain't throwin." Applejack was talking about Pinkie of course.

Physics, despite not entirely happy about her being in control of them (5), could be quite agreeable when it came to sports. Apparently, it was very competitive. And it was very easy to make a dodgeball slow down enough so it was easy to catch.

"Fine. Pinkie, can you go over to the back please?" Pinkie wasn't entirely sure what Rainbow's plan was. Physics wasn't very happy either. It wanted to get back into the action. Time decided to have a little fun, and made the world go in slow motion as Pinkie looked over her shoulder. She could see Rainbow looking at her, a knowing look in her eyes. In slow motion.

She could see Fluttershy and Ditzy glancing at each other. In slow motion.

She could see Applejack bringing her arm back and lobbing a dodgeball right towards Rainbow Dash. In slow motion.

She could see the rest of Applejacks team following suit. And then everything sped up. (6)

Turning on her heels, Pinkie utilised the powers of Space and Physics, throwing herself towards that dodgeball faster than a normal person. A bit slow for her, but still. She caught the ball thrown by Applejack, kicked the one thrown by Octavia up into the air, balancing it on the first and headbutted the third, thrown by Bon Bon, right into Rainbow Dash's arms.

Twilight cheered from the sidelines, running back onto the course. Rarity was less enthusiastic, but came on, looking overall calm and collected. On the other side, Applejack was facepalming, Octavia was annoyed, and Bon Bon looked ready to murder. But all three went off the field in various stages of good sportsmanship. Just Time Turner and Lyra were left, against all of Rainbow's team. The two gritted their teeth in determination. They were going to fight.

Each of the other team were now equipped with dodgeballs. Rainbow was the first to throw, and Twilight gleefully copied her movements, with less successful results. Rainbows shot directly towards Lyra, who jumped upwards, while Twilights rolled lamely towards the mint haired girl. Pinkie immediately gave her ball to Rainbow, before flitting around the field like usual. Time was having a blast, doing slow motions of Lyra dodging, and of Twilights failed attempt of a throw. Space was getting in on it too, warping the room during these slow motion moments. Physics was testing how far it could stretch the limits put on it by Pinkie, and Relativity was very quiet (7).

Eventually Pinkie got them to stop. She wanted to pay attention to the game. Not much had happened. Fluttershy had given her ball to Rainbow, who was still throwing, and the other two were still dodging. Ditzy had gotten out, most likely from throwing the ball, and Twilight was still attempting to throw, but they were so weak the other team couldn't get close enough to catch them before they hit the ground.

Rarity had moved back to her corner, obviously waiting for something she could do.
Physics started arguing with Space, over which of them was more powerful (8). Sometimes, Pinkie wondered whether or not she could handle being the controller of the forces that controlled the universe.

Then Time slowed things down, allowing her to see a particularly funny scene of Time Turner twisting around in a successful attempt to dodge a ball expertly thrown by Rainbow Dash.

Things like that made it so worth it.

Applejack wanted to get out of the sidelines. Vinyl had quite happily given up her spot for her. Lyra and Time Turner were putting up an amazing fight, both being great at dodging. She desperately wanted to get back out there. Rainbow was practically impossible to hit with Pinkie around, and her throws were just as impossible to catch. Pinkie never threw a ball, Rarity preferred to stay out of the action altogether, Twilights throws were simply too weak to make it past the line, and Fluttershy always handed balls to Rainbow. This was an impossible situation, but she had faith in Lyra and Time Turner. Rainbow knew it too. Oh, she was going to rub it in, even though it was just a dodgeball game. She would do the same, but still.

But then, it seemed like the Universe itself gave them a gift, as Fluttershy tripped over a stray dodgeball, bumping into Rainbow Dash, causing her throw to be jerky and inaccurate. Lyra saw the chance, and she took it, leaping for the ball. Applejack watched in excitement as her fingers grabbed the bright red ball, effectively eliminating Rainbow Dash, as well as getting Applejack back on the court.

The other team froze for a second, with Fluttershy blushing and looking so guilty her face was as red as a tomato, Rarity raising an eyebrow, Pinkie standing still and talking to herself (9), Twilight apparently not realising how momentous this is, and Rainbow, best of all, standing stock still gaping. It was a glorious moment.

"Rainbow Dash, you're out!"

"I WILL AVENGE THEE, RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie burst out suddenly.

"You actually been paying attention in History class have you?" Bon Bon shouted from the other side. She was having an absolute hoot. (10)

The game soon continued, with Rainbow Dash yelling from the sidelines.

"COME ON GUYS YOU CAN DO IT! CATCH A BALL!" She yelled, more commanding than encouraging.

"I'm sorry Rainbow!" Fluttershy called, having retreated back to her corner.

"Don't worry about it! Just try and catch a ball!"

Applejack was having lots of fun. Pinkie was still standing still, talking to herself at the side. This left the rest of her team free to throw balls at Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy. Rarity was adept at dodging, because she flat out refused to play the game properly. Twilight was still haphazardly attempting to throw dodgeballs, and was actually improving. Maybe at one point they'd get close enough for Applejacks team to catch. Fluttershy was quite unwilling to do anything, probably worried she'd caused her teams downfall.

Applejack tried to assess which one of the four was more of a risk. Pinkie, probably. But they had to wait for her to throw a ball. Of the remaining three, Fluttershy was even more nervous than usual, Rarity was simply observing, and Twilight was running back and forth, stopping to attempt to throw a dodgeball. She was the best target. Applejack picked up a dodgeball rolling towards her, and moved towards Lyra and Time Turner, who were mostly standing around waiting for Twilight to attempt to throw a ball. She walked up to them, and seemed to simply pass behind them, but whispered in their ears.

"Hit Twilight together"

Lyra nodded her head curtly, and Time Turner gave her a look of acknowledgment. Applejack already had a dodgeball, but the other two were currently empty handed. They had to wait for Twilight to make her move. Which she did. It was blatantly obvious the girl had never played before. It was almost as if she had no idea how to use her hands.

One, then two dodgeballs found their way onto Lyra's court. The three teammates smiled, and raised their dodgeballs to throw. Twilight's eyes widened. Perhaps she had read about this in that book of hers (11).

They threw at the same time. Three dodgeballs flew towards Twilight, who frantically tried to dodge. Three dodgeballs hit their target, one in the arm, one in the leg, but one hit her square on the head. Twilight fell backwards, rubbing her forehead with her good arm. The entire court froze.

"Ooowwww," said Twilight.

Applejack looked at Lyra and Time Turner. It hadn't been her ball that hit her on the head. Lyra looked horrified. Time Turner looked worried. But he wasn't looking at Twilight. He was looking at Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Applejack followed his gaze. The two were both horrified. And furious.

Uh oh.

The following battle was short. To put it lightly, Lyra's team didn't have a chance. Both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie hated any breaking of the rules, even accidentally. Pinkie had headbutted a ball before, but it hadn't hurt her, so she didn't mind. Bon Bon had still gotten out, after all. Fluttershy was more lax on the accidentally part, but Pinkie was not. Only one of them would have been targeted, but they weren't sure which one had thrown the fatal ball.

"Sir, you can't hit someone after the dodgeball already hit someone else!" Lyra called out, trying to find a loophole to continue the game after Fluttershy threw a brutal dodgeball hit.

The gym teacher shrugged.

"I don't make the rules, I just enforce them. You're all out! Rainbow Dash's team wins!"

"He's totally biased towards Fluttershy." Lyra grumbled.

"Everyone knows Discord is biased towards Fluttershy." Applejack answered matter-of-factly.

"Oh well. We'll totally destroy them at netball tomorrow." Time Turner looked at the two, who smiled.

Author's Note

(1)

and Twilight Sparkle, the new girl. She was reading a book.

Dodgeball for Dummies, of course.
(2)

Twilight looked up from the book, a bit shocked.

She was very interested in the chapter about what a dodgeball is made out of.
(3)

Pinkie and Rainbow were staring down the other team

Rainbow was staring with determination, while Pinkie was just downright looking malicious. You could only catch it for a second, then she'd be right back to smiling.
(4)

So to make up for it, she used her mind-blowing powers to be unstoppable in dodgeball.

She knew that only one person could handle being in control of the laws of the universe. Her.
(5)

Physics, despite not being entirely happy about her being in control of them, could be quite agreeable when it came to sports.

Relativity was perfectly fine with it, and Time and Space couldn't care less. But Physics and Probability liked to take out its anger on those around Pinkie. Mostly with flower pots.
(6)

And then everything sped up.

Time was having a right good chuckle about this.
(7)

and Relativity was very quiet

Relativity was known to do that, it was the more quiet of the bunch, and the most philosophical.
(8)

Physics started arguing with Space, over which one of them was more powerful

Pinkie didn't care, but the different Universe's Laws could squabble just like everyone.
(9)

Pinkie standing still and talking to herself.

She was giving Physics, the troublemaker of the pack, a thorough talking to for moving that stray dodgeball.
(10)

"You actually been paying attention in History class have you?" Bon Bon shouted from the other side.

Time had a chuckle at this. It could do more than slowing and speeding things up you know.
(11)

The three teammates smiled, and raised their balls to throw.twilight's eyes widened. Perhaps she had read about this in that book of hers.

She had.

Hey everypony! This was just a little story I wrote because I thought it would be funny. Hope you like it! Feedback, suggestions and ideas are always appreciated!