Look, If You Don't Like Dumb Things, You're Probably Going to Have a Bad Time Here.
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A Really Stupid Story, Because Sometimes You Feel Like Writing A Really Stupid Story, You Know?
Look, If You Don't Like Dumb Things, You're Probably Going to Have a Bad Time Here.
Once upon a time Vinyl Scratch decided that Equestria needed more dubstep. That's because Equestria didn't have any dubstep at all. Like, the genre didn't even exist. She decided that wouldn't do. Step was a great anime, but right now the ponies only had it with subtitles. That wouldn't do, now, would it? It's not Substep, it's Dubstep! She needed to get the show dubbed. Okay that was a horrible joke. Don't worry. It's over now. That joke can never hurt you ever again.
So anywhose, Vinyl had super fun time with Octavia, because of course they're shipped in this story. You thought I was going to be original or something? Know what? Fine, I will be. I'm going to crack ship the rest of the parings in this. So don't run crying to me when Mulia Mild starts necking with Optimus Prime. Think I should throw on the crossover tag too? Sure, why not. I'll just add fuel to the flames. Anyway, Vinyl hung out in the bedroom with Octavia, doing rated everyone things together, and then after a couple of hours of that, she had to leave to catch the train.
Luna in the Sky With Diamonds
"Good bye, Vinyl. You know I'll always love you!" Octavia wailed, her tears falling like diamonds in the sky. In fact, it's postulated that her tears so very replicated diamonds that were she a pegasus who flew through the air while crying, and Luna was also in the air, it would very closely replicated Julian Lennon's famous picture "Luna in the Sky With Diamonds" that later inspired John Lennon to trip off his rocker and usher in the era of psychedelic rock.
"I'll always love you too, silly filly," Vinyl replied as they embraced at the train station with Plasticine porters and looking glass ties. "But seriously, I'm only going to be gone, like three days, tops. Literally, that's how long the portal stays open."
"Portal?" the cellist inquired, releasing her grip. "I thought you were going to the market to pick up eggs!"
"What?!" the DJ responded. "Why would I take the train to the market? It's like a furlong away."
"I don't know, Sweetie. You do odd stuff sometimes," the grey mare replied.
"Well, yeah, I guess I do, huh?" answered the off-yellow mare.
"Anyhow, I won't keep you waiting, where ever you might be going. Stay safe!" the earth pony chided.
"Of course I will, hon," assured the unicorn.
"Good," declared the debonair pony with a smooth silky black mane.
"Yeah," stated the wild pony with a crazy blue coiffure.
"STOP WITH THE LAVENDER UNICORN SYNDROME!" screamed a lavender unicorn nearby. Plot twist: that mare wasn't Twilight Sparkle. She's an alicorn now, you know. It's been nearly two years. It's time to move on. Anyway, it was Amethyst Star who had shouted that. Background ponies for the win.
Right on, so Vinyl Scratch got on the train and Octavia headed back to the flat they shared on the lower shelf in Canterlot. What, you thought they actually live in Ponyville? Twilight, Rarity, and few others excepted, that place is super backwards and unsophisticated. Of course Tavi and Scratch live in Canterlot. It's the hip hop happening place to be.
So Octavia went back to the flat to get back to the Go game she was playing with Fancy Pants (he'd been terrified of chess ever since that Luna Micro Comic.), and the train Vinyl was on began to snake its way down the Canterhorn. Its destination? The Crystal Empire.
Author's Note
Wub A Dub Dub
This Seems to Have Turned Into an Actual Story. Well Now, That Won't Do, Now, Will It? I Don't Think So. Do You Think So?
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A Really Stupid Story, Because Sometimes You Feel Like Writing A Really Stupid Story, You Know?
This Seems to Have Turned Into an Actual Story. Well Now, That Won't Do, Now, Will It? I Don't Think So. Do You Think So?
On the train, Vinyl sat next to a lime green pony with a chicken on her leg. I mean, she had a chicken cutie mark, but also literally had a chicken nestled on her kneecap.
"Excuse me, Miss, but I can't help but notice you seem to be in possession of a chicken."
The pony looked up from the 517 Shades of Hay book she was reading. "Why, oh yes, I do indeedies!" She reached a hoof over to her seatmate. "Pleasure meeting ya'! The names Chickadee Peachbottom, and I'm a chicken farmer!"
"Oh, uh, hey," Vinyl replied raspily. "And I'm Vinyl Scratch."
"The famed DJ? Why, I am happier than a kitten at a yarn party to run into you. Can't say I fancy of that modern stuff you put out, but still to meet a celebrity! Oh just wait 'til my husbando hears about this."
Vinyl smiled at the talkative mare. "Your stallion live in the Crystal Empire?"
"Oh no, he's not a stallion," Chickadee replied.
Vinyl's eyebrows raised a degree. "Oh, wow. Um, what species, if you don't mind me asking?" Interspecies relationships were still somewhat controversial in Equestria.
"You actual probably haven't heard of his kind. They don't really live around here anymore," she said, a touch evasively.
Vinyl squinted. "Try me."
"Well, he's like a hairless ape, or maybe a tall imp. They're called 'Humans'."
Vinyl's eyes expanded considerably. "You... uh, I mean."
"Yes deary, I'm traveling here to visit the mirror portal. Just like you."
Vinyl gasped. "You know about that?!"
Chickadee put a steadying hoof to the DJ's shoulder. "Of course I do, Sweetkins. It was forshadowed last chapter. Don't you worry though, your secret's safe with me."
"Um, right. Well, I guess I'll see you on the other side probably. How you planning on getting in there?"
"Same way Sunset did. Sneak in at night while the guards are distracted by the opening credits," the freckled miniature horse responded.
"Well, good luck. Oh, and hey, before you go back to your trashy novel, you have any pictures of your human husbando?"
"Why in fact, I do!" Chickadee smiled, rummaging through her flower-print purse. "Where were...aha! Right here." And she hoofed a small photograph to~~Rainbow Dash~~(Not sure why my mind just slipped there.) Vinyl Scratch.
Scratch might have been gay, but she knew a good hunk when she saw one. "Wow. He's ripped."
"Yes," said Chickadee airily. "He's so dreamy."
...Far away, in the human world...
The man sat lethargically on his bed, holding the wooden frame in his hands. Squared by those four strips of wood was the visage of all he knew and loved.
"It's almost been 27 moons, my dear Peachbottom. Soon, you will once more snuggle up in my embrace. Soon, we shall be reunited. Soon..."
Author's Note
We need a Mrs. Peachbottom tag.
