Sorrow

A bullet costs less than therapy.

I had a perfectly normal life, I had a marefriend, a nice job, a roof over my head. Hell, my life was better than quite a few other ponies... until I learned the truth.

What is the point? Why do we go about are lives even though we will all die one day and everything we have ever done will cease to matter. Nothing will matter anymore. Life was just a cruel taunt, something that will never last. Even for the two princesses, one day the world will end be it a comet or a monster they just can't beat and they too will die.

So, what is the point of our existence? Why do we just go along with our lives when it all means nothing? Some ponies might argue that if we are good in out lives we will live in paradise once we die. What if that idea was just made by somepony who realized the exact same thing that I did and they couldn't handle that out lives would never amount to anything. They thought that that couldn't be the only reason we were alive, that the reason we lived is to die. That everyday the clock was just ticking down our lives until our immanent demise. That we were all just going about all of our lives through sorrow, grief, pain, and suffering for no reason.

What would happen when ponies realized this? That even someone with a perfectly normal and happy life could fall to the clutches of depression and maybe even suicide. I took a brief glance at the desk in front of me, at the gun that I knew all too well was loaded with one bullet that had my name on it.

It would be so easy... just put it up to my head and pull the trigger.

I wonder how the princesses dealt with things like this. They see ponies lives fade over and over again, seeing many deaths and seeing and feeling all that pain, how was Princess Celestia ever going to deal with Twilight Sparkle, the Princesses prize student dying. I wonder if she was ever in the same position as I, staring at a loaded gun realizing that all of life held no meaning what so ever. I bet she has considered it at least once but couldn't handle the guilt of allowing the nation to see that the princesses themselves gave up on life. Me dying wouldn't cause too much pain, would it? A few ponies might be sad and maybe realize the same truth that I did. That the only true constant in life is death.

I pulled a sheet of paper out of my desk and moved the gun to the side, I begun to write.

If you are reading this than I am probably dead. The reasons for me committing this act are extremely simple. I realized that every single living being on this planet has no meaning, we were all born to die. Our lives will only hold sway for so long but after some time our actions will hold no meaning and any memories of our existence will cease to exist. All of those projects that we spent hours, months, years of our lives trying to complete won't matter. All of our suffering, our sorrow, our hard earned accomplishments will not matter. Nopony I know is at fault for my passing, I love every single one of you. The reason for my death is existence itself.

Signed Shadow Quill.

I picked up the gun in my magic and walked into the bathroom and then into the bathtub, even if I was about to die I would still feel bad for the pony that had to clean it up. I levitated the gun and put the barrel to the side of my head and pulled the trigger.

Police ponies were swarming the house but I paid the no heed. I looked desperately throughout the house hoping to find a sign that my coltfriend was still alive.

"Are you Silver Wind?" I wheeled around and stared into the police officer in front of me.

"Why, yes I am."

"You might want to sit down." He gestured towards the couch in the living room. I sat down on one side of the couch and he remained standing. "Your coltfriend is dead, he committed suicide, and we are terribly sorry for your lose" I stared at him mouth wide open and tears streaming down my face.

"N...no.." I managed to choke out those words before a fit of sobs threatened to overcome me. "How... how do you know?" He pulled out a scroll and handed it to me.

"We found this on his desk." I read through the note, this was his writing. And what was even worse is that everything in the letter was true. I felt the tears still pounding rivets down my face. Blurring my vision and making the letter hard to read. I finally finished the letter and passed it back to the police officer.

"I think I'm going to go back home now. This is a lot to deal with and I need some time alone."

"I completely understand. Would you like one of the police officers to escort you home?"

"Yes, that would be very kind, thank you."

The police officer nodded and barked out "Private Tanners! Front and center!" A police officer that looked to be rather young broke away from the crowd. "I want you to escort this mare home. She has had a very traumatic day." The colt nodded and we left the medium sized house.

The whole trip was spent in silence. When we reached my house I stumbled into the colt a bit and he caught me, I muttered a word of thanks before walking into my home and shutting the door. I looked at the prize I had gathered as I unfurled my wing. I stared at the gun knowing that I was making the right choice. I trotted into the bathroom and laid myself into the bathtub, not bothering to make a letter as my coltfriend did. I brought the barrel up to my head...