Twilight Sparkle vs. Christmas

by The Frank

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Drama, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 2793

Yes, Twilight...what is this thing everybody's talking about? You better watch out, you better not cry; you better not pout, I'm telling you why: CHRISTMAS is coming to your town!

Set in Equestria Girls-universe.

Twilight Sparkle is making a visit to Sunset Shimmer when she discovers a new threat to the world. But what can one single pony/girl do against such a powerful enemy as this?

It wants your obedience. It wants your love. It wants your money. It wants food and presents.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING TOMORROW! ...Are you prepared or will you face its wrath?

This story is an homage to Tove Jansson, artist and author of Moomin. 100 years old 2014!
Edited and Gordon Ramsayed by Nopony Important.

Published 2014-12-12 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-12 22:40:02 UTC

24.

A cold and dark night was about to give way to a cold but bright morning. Canterlot City was glistening with frost and ice, and the snow was shining white, dark blue and orange in the dawning sun. It was the morning of December 24th. Very few people were walking around the streets, and even fewer windows were lit. One of those lit apartments was the one on the third floor in number 73 Trottingham street. Sunset Shimmer’s apartment. And this morning, two silhouettes could be seen against the window in contrast to the usual single one.

Inside, Twilight was sitting in the couch, eating a bowl of Cheerios, without any other thoughts than whether she should finish her coffee first or have another bowl of cereal. Opposite of her, but in a more awakened state, sat Sunset Shimmer. She had already finished most of her breakfast, and was dressed in a boring black uniform with red collars, and the words "Grossman's" on the left side of her chest. Nowadays, she worked extra at the local grocery store, hence the uniform. She had asked Twilight to pay the other world a visit for a few days, and Twilight had gratefully accepted the invitation.

Twilight had arrived last night, and they had spent most of the evening catching up on things. Bands, boyfriends, etc. They had been awake ‘til 1 AM, which made them both pretty tired. Therefore, they didn’t say much that morning. Sunset had offered Twilight the opportunity to sleep in, but Twilight wanted to spend as much time with her friends as possible, she had breakfast at 6:37 this Tuesday. There was nothing wrong with the silence, considering which day it was. Sunset was pretty happy with the silence, in contrast to her job as well. Eventually, though, she was the one who broke it.

"Well, Twi, time for me to put on the harness and go to work. I was planning to have this day off so we could hang out, but the boss called me yesterday. Two guys are sick, and I was the last hope."

Twilight looked up from her cereal, rolled her eyes and smiled. "I told you yesterday, Sunset. It's ok. I understand. I will stay for four days, remember? We have time. Besides, last night pretty much covered the latest news, so I think I can handle being alone today."

"Well, if you say so. Anyway, I'll be home by five, let's go out for dinner then, okay? I’ll see if I can gather the girls. Oh, and there's pizza in the fridge if you don't want to go out until I’m home".

Twilight gave her a consoling wave. "I'll manage. Actually, it’s nice to have a day to adjust to this world. "

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. Now trot away, my little pony! Earn your oatbag! Neeeiigh!"

Sunset showed Twilight the raspberry. "Enjoy your day off, your highness. But please, have mercy on your loyal servant when she comes home tired and muddy and with her bones crushed for your well-being."

Both girls giggled. "Have a nice day!"

"You too!"

Twilight sank back into the couch. Ah! Peace, quiet and not a single danger in the world... Nothing but...

DING-DONG

...the doorbell. Twilight sighed, and got up to open the door. Rarity was outside.

"Darling, I am so sorry to disturb you this early, but…” She clapped her hands together, grew a big smile and gave the girl who opened the door a big hug. “Hello, Twi... Ehrm... Princess Twilight! What a wonderful surprise! I had no idea you were coming! Oh, I wanted to see Sunset, is she in?"

"Please, Rarity… just Twilight. And no, she's at work."

"Oh, the poor thing. But, this time of year, there is so much work... Well, I need to talk to Sunset. I can take the route by her work on the way to the boutique." She paused, and looked over Twilight's shoulder in to the apartment. "Oh, but darling! I see that you have no tree!"

Twilight stared at Rarity with slightly open mouth. She had a lot to learn still about this world, but this seemed a bit off even for humans.

"Tree? Ehm... You're not supposed to have trees...indoors...are you?"

"Well, usually not, that’s true. But today, you HAVE TO!"

"Have...to?"

"Yes darling, have to. Christmas is coming, and then you have to have a tree. Well, got to run, ta ta for now, darling! Tea on the 27h, by the way."

When the door shut behind Rarity, Twilight was left with a growing feeling of fear. She tried to calm herself down. She tried to sort out the things she knew, which actually was just two things. Christmas was coming tomorrow. And it demanded a tree.

...

The clock over the TV said 8.32. Twilight was lying fostered on the carpet, while she was mumbling "A tree... a tree... But what kind of tree? Redwood? Larch? The mighty Sequoia? What will please Christmas the most?" The lack of information had let loose a train of thoughts that after one hour of speculation, now had given her the feeling of sheer panic. She was starting to shake, the feeling of imminent danger came to her. Who was this "Christmas"? Was he dangerous? Was he going to hurt her friends if he got mad? Was he maybe a she? Twilight was really worried and she was almost on the verge of panic, as she usually was when she had no plan.

It was about then the doorbell rang. Twilight slowly rose, and opened the door. Outside was Fluttershy.

"Oh...good morning Twilight." She tilted her head a bit. "You look awful... Oh no, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry, I know it was bad to come, but I talked with Sunset about coming over with some birdseed, and she said that I could leave it to you but had I known you'd still be asleep I wouldn't have come and..."

Fluttershy was almost starting to cry. Twilights left eye started to twitch. She hadn't had the opportunity to say anything to Fluttershy, and so the panic came back with a vengeance, making her scream into Fluttershy's face, "I NEED TO GET A TREE!"

Fluttershy shrank to the floor, scared to her bones. Twilight continued.
"Christmas is coming tomorrow, I'm supposed to get a tree, and I don't know anything about what sort of tree, what height, what it's supposed to do, and I'M ALMOST GOING CRAZY!!!"

Fluttershy was still shaking, but she managed to squeal, "...Fir tree.."

"What?"

Fluttershy was crying now. "The Christmas tree. It's usually a fir tree. They sell them outside the ironmongery."

"People SELL THEM?" Twilight’s brain processed this new information. "Ah, yes. Of course. Nobody wants to anger the Christmas, so everybody gets a tree. What does it do?"

Fluttershy had stopped crying. She was still a bit afraid of Twilight, but at least she had realized that she wasn't angry with her. "Oh, it does nothing. You decorate it, and just...look at it." Then Fluttershy's phone rang. "Sorry Twilight. Yes, Fluttershy? Oh, hi mom. No, I was just dropping a... Oh. Oh. Yes, I understand. I'll come at once. Sorry, Twilight, I have to go. Mom needs help. Have a nice day, and good luck with the tree."

Twilight’s eye kept twitching some good twenty minutes after Fluttershy had closed the door. But finally, her breath was steady. “Okay. A fir tree. They sell them. No problem. I just take some money, go and buy a tree, bring it back, lots of time to hide.” Now she had calmed down after Fluttershy's visit, but when she recapitulated Fluttershy's words, she remembered one important thing. Decorations! Decorate a tree! ...Decorate a tree with what? The only trees decorated that Twilight knew of were Hearth's Warming trees. But those were outside... And Hearth's Warming was a nice holiday that tucked you in and made you warm. Now the panic arose again. Christmas was nothing but demanding and rough, with a never-ending list of things it needed not to be angered!

At least, it seemed that way. She needed more info! But where to find info? Twilight's next move was to curse the fact that Sunset Shimmer didn't have a PC, only a tablet, which she brought with her to work. Twilight was accustomed to the glorious Internet, but without the necessary equipment, that road to further knowledge was closed. She sighed, and put a pillow over her face. Well, at least it couldn't be worse now. And then, the doorbell rang again. And when she opened it, outside was Applejack, carrying a cardboard box.

"Howdy, Twi! Sunset told me y'all be here. Got some greens for her; will ya be so kind and take care of it fer her?"

"Of course, Applejack. Ehm... Do you have a minute?"

Applejack sighed, and closed her eyes.

"Sorry, sugarcube, but ah got to rush. Got to pick Flutters and Rarity up for choir practice. We’re going Christmas singing."

Twilight startled. "You have to...sing...for Christmas?"

"Eyup. Tradition. Well, gotta run. Take care now, Twilight!"

"Tradition… Take care...you too..."

As the door closed after Applejack, Twilight slowly sank to the floor, her back against the door. A tree, decorations, and now she had to SING as well? Not that she minded singing, but... What kind of songs did the Christmas like? Well, she had to swing with the songs she knew, and she started practicing, still sitting against the door. Suddenly, she realised it was eleven o'clock, and she wasn't even dressed yet. If she was going to get a tree, she had to get herself ready soon! A quick shower, a change into jeans, sweater and a jacket, and she was prepared to face Christmas... That was the plan, or at least, that’s the way the plan would have been, if the door hadn't hit her face first.

"Oouumph..."

"Oopsie! Sorry, Twilight! I thought you'd be in the bathroom. Anyway, here you go!"

Pinkie Pie, as it could have been anyone else, handed Twilight a huge cardboard box, marked "Sugarcube Corner Special".

"Ouch...Binkie!"

"Relax! Your nose is only bleeding a little. Just put it on the table, and you can get some cotton then. Well, gotta run, see you!"

"Binkie, waid! ...whadd's idd dhe bogg?"

"It’s candy, of course, silly! For Christmas!"

Twilight froze. No. No. No. Not another damn thing to… She was almost pouting when she spoke.

"Do gou really ave do ave caddy fo Christmas?"

Pinkies face darkened, and her hair straightened.

"Really have to? REALLY HAVE TO? CHRISTMAS DEMANDS CANDY! DEMANDS!"

Twilight shrank under Pinkies blazing eyes. She gave out an "eep" and her bloodstream stopped out of her pure fear of her friend.

"Candy for Christmas, Twilight, is almost as important as turkey.” Twilight had been trying to get away, and she was now cornered by her apparently crazy friend. She stared at Pinkie in fear.

She is probably collaborating with Christmas… and now she’s going to kill me.

All of a sudden however, Pinkies hair curled itself again, she gasped, and started to jump up and down in panic and excitement, waving her hands "THE TURKEY! I HAVE TO GET THE TURKEY IN THE OVEN! GOTTA RUN, TWILIGHT, BYE! CHRISTMAS IS COMING TOMORROW!"

Twilight lay herself down on the floor. She needed to rest, both from Pinkies eruption and her own growing panic. Christmas was coming, slowly but steady, and he showed no mercy. He needed a decorated tree, he wanted songs, he demanded candy and a turkey in the oven.

"Take it easy, Twilight... We can do this...we can do this....hahahahaha..." That was her crazy OCD laugh, but she didn't care. She was going to survive this, if she so died doing it! Twilight Sparkle NEVER failed. She showered, got dressed, drank more coffee and got to work. She spent two hours, including a quick lunch break, rummaging the apartment for equipment, and then she started to calculate. When she finally had a plan she was satisfied with, and relaxed enough to get out to obtain supplies, the doorbell rang again. She thought she was prepared for everything coming through the door, except for what actually came in; Rainbow Dash ran over her, making her way to the kitchen. Peaking out her head through the doorway, she shouted to Twilight.

"Sorry, Twi! I'm in a heck of a hurry, I promised to meet Scoots and take her to the mall, but I also promised to feed Fluttershy's animals and she said she was out of carrots but Sunset had some and she said you were here, great to see you by the way, I tell you, Christmas is awesome, but sometimes it feels like it's going to kill you, you know? I mean there are these presents you have to get, eggnog all over the place, and a mistletoe up your nose everywhere you go, I mean, it's just a drag sometimes. Ah, here it is, great, thank you, bye!"

Once more, Twilight stared at a door closing after a visit from a friend. Then she emptied the coffee can in three draws, and walked slowly and calm to the kitchen table. Then she tore her calculations apart, banged her head in the table and started to cry. She was completely exhausted from all stress and panic that she almost passed out. But then, she thought of her friends. This was not only about her, this was about her friends.

“I am not giving up! I am not going to let anything, be it Dazzlings, Tirek, Discord, Chrysalis or Christmas, hurt my friends! Not. On. My. Watch!”

She grabbed her bag, checked how much money she had, put on her cap, and ran out from the apartment. Time to defeat Christmas!

...

At 17.30, Sunset Shimmer and the rest of the gang was heading home to Sunset's apartment.

"Thanks for coming, guys. If Twilight is as badly stressed out as you said, she probably needs my help.”

When they opened the door to the apartment, a bizarre sight met them. In the living room, a big fir tree was placed in the middle of the room, secured with ropes and Sunset's kettlebells. It was decorated with Sunset's jewelry, some pieces of glittery fabric, a couple of hair extensions, and on the top, a pink satin rose. Six presents, all wrapped in silvery paper, were placed in front of it, together with a cardboard box with the written sign "Just take it, please" on it.

A muffled gobbling came from the kitchen. Entering, they found a living turkey inside the oven, which was locked up by a belt. When they opened it up, two sweet potatoes and a head of cabbage fell on the floor along with the turkey. The walls of the living room was smeared with a white goo, which Rainbow Dash identified as a very well-executed eggnog, with a generous amount of Bourbon in it. When Fluttershy finally managed to calm down the turkey, they heard another sound. A low singing, coming from a pillow fortress behind the couch. They removed one of the cushions, and there, curled up in fetal position, lay Twilight Sparkle, singing with a mistletoe shoved up her left nostril.

The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us through
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end

Then she stopped singing, and looked at her friends with wide eyes and trembling lips. Her friends could only stare back at her in confusion. Rarity was the one who finally broke the silence.

"Twilight, darling...what on earth are you doing?!"

Twilight sobbed, and said, "I don't want Christmas to hurt me."

…

It took half an hour to explain the misunderstandings, and another half to stop Twilight being ashamed, but after that, the evening was a great one. The turkey was moved to Sweet Apple Acres, and replaced with a deep-frozen one, which, under Applejack’s supervision, was turned into a turkey dinner. Under Pinkie Pie’s supervision, a gingerbread Canterlot High was made. The choir girls taught Twilight Oh come ye all faithful and Peace on earth/Little Drummer Boy and Twilight taught them the Friendship Hymn and Winter Wrap Up, and finally, Twilight showed Rainbow how she made that "awesome eggnog".

Overall, it was a great evening, but, as she left, something came to Rainbow’s mind.
"Hey, lucky I didn't say to Twilight that it feels like you have mistletoes up your butt instead."

Author's Note

Achtung! Christmas!