Coping with a Failure

by Ponysopher

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 7418

Rainbow Dash copes with the agony of being rejected by the Wonderbolts

Rainbow Dash has been rejected by the Wonderbolts. She recalls all the effort that she had put into the endeavor and the desire with which she tried to achieve the goal. How could she possibly ever recover from such a tragedy?

Published 2012-04-29 20:24:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-29 20:24:03 UTC

Agony

Rainbow Dash gazed out from the window of her house in Cloudsdale. She viewed from high in the sky the big world that was below her. It was midday and the sun shined down upon the earth. The light illuminated the lush green grass and trees of the world below. It reflected off the ponds and lakes and blinded her if she looked at them. Its radiance shone all around and there were no dark places below. To the north was the town of Ponyville which was quiet today. To the south were the many open fields and grasslands. Ponies frolicked and played there. It was noon on a Saturday, so everypony was out relaxing and taking a break from the long workweek. From her elevated position, she saw how they relished the sunshine of midday and ran about over the vast expanse of the green earth without a care in the world. Her friends were probably off having a picnic. Whether they were or not, she didn’t know and didn’t want to know.

She turned away from the window and the great view below once more for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day. The cyan mare didn’t want to be reminded that everypony in Ponyville and maybe in Equestria was happy today. She lay on her bed within her dim bedroom. The room could not be qualified as dark, though most of it was covered in shadow and the sun still poured light into the window. There were no curtains to block it, which was a shame because Rainbow was trying her hardest to fall asleep. What was so odd was that she was physically tired, though unable to find rest. The exhausted pegasus wanted badly just to sleep the day away. Although her body was begging for a respite, her mind was working a hundred miles an hour, with no visible intention to cease anytime soon. Intruding thoughts had been harassing her all day, and she would have done anything just to rid herself of them. If Rainbow was able to sleep, then her mind would be at rest.

But alas, she could not opt for the joy of sleep. A cacophony of chaotic thoughts were resounding in the halls of her soul and not allowing her any such mercy. Such dissonance was all on account of the news that the pegasus had received that morning by mail. In retrospect, it would have been more fitting if the envelope were black and closed with a red seal. At least it would have prepared her for what was inside. But alas, it was not so. The letter was surreptitiously sent in a plain, white envelope and written by muzzle on a plain sheet of paper, the perfect way to decimate an unsuspecting victim.

Dash had waited for this moment all her life. From the young age of five, she had always wanted to join the Wonderbolts, the fastest and most talented flyers in all of Equestria. It had all started when they performed at the coliseum in Cloudsdale. On that day, the filly entered past the towering stone pillars of the colossal building and through the massive iron gates among a packed crowd of pegasi with her mother and father. She had all the time in the world to admire the structure’s architecture because the crowd was barely moving forward at all.

When Rainbow finally came out from under the roof of the first level and gazed upon the great arena, she marveled not just at the amazing size of the building, but also at the myriads of ponies who had come to see the Wonderbolts perform. The filly asked her mother how many there were and she was told that there were probably about sixty-thousand pegasi all there at that one time. After they had finally arrived at their row and shuffled down the seats to pack themselves in with the other spectators like sardines, she gazed around and saw the glory of the structure, which boasted many large statutes of legendary flyers of the past. On the top of the eastern section of the rim in front of her, was Celero Optimus Maximus, the ancient pegasus who was said to have performed the first and only sonic rainboom. The statue depicted the legend with his wings outstretched and with a triumphant look on his face. He wore a suit of armor that had a rainbow etched onto his breastplate. Atop the northern section, there was also a statue of Radiance, the female flyer who surpassed every stallion in speed and agility in her time. The mare also was depicted with her wings flared and had a crown of laurel leaves on her head. A stallion-pegasus was pinned under her right hoof.

As the pony was admiring the magnificence of the coliseum, suddenly she heard a loud cheer from the huge crowd around her and realized that everyone was looking at the bottom of the stadium. Dash quickly looked down to see what had caused them to shout with such vigor. Rainbow only caught a glimpse of something blue before they had taken off outside her vision. The streaks of blue and yellow shot into the sky from the bottom of the stadium at breakneck speed, and Rainbow Dash felt a rush of adrenaline as she tried to follow them.

Then she saw them whisking across the sky in glory; leaving behind a trail of smoke in their wake. They flew in a perfectly aligned formation and were each dressed in the same bright blue flight suit lined with yellow lightning bolts and complete with goggles. The hues of their manes as well as their suits were mere blurs of color at the speed they were traveling, but their speed was not the only attribute that Rainbow Dash witnessed to her delight. As nimbly as hummingbirds, they agley performed amazing acrobatic twists and turns through the air. For an hour they masterfully executed corkscrews and triple backflips and so much more; all while still maintaining their impressive speed.

To complete their superb act, all at once, they flew up almost out of sight to a distance that was called the ceiling of the heavens, which was higher than any pegasus dared to climb. From that height, they dropped at such a rapid speed that a visible sound cone started to form around them. As quickly as the sound barrier and wind resistance would allow them, they dropped from the heavens towards the hard, sand ground of the stadium. As they approached nearer and nearer, Rainbow was sure they would bring themselves out of the dive at any moment, but they continued to descend at the same alarming speed. Very soon they were no more than fifty feet from the arena’s floor, not having even slowed yet, and she along with the entire crowd gasped and nearly looked away.

But they did not slam against the ground as she expected. Despite their great speed, they pulled up at just the last moment and shot up at an angle, just feet above her and the other spectators. At this, the entire crowd went wild with excitement, but Rainbow Dash was cheering and screaming louder than anyone there. She shook her dad vigorously and shouted over and over, “Did you see that? Did you see that!"

She went home that day as excited as any filly could be. For days, all Dash could think about was the Wonderbolts and how fast and swift they were. It was no wonder at all that a few days later the pegasus decided to train in order to join them. She was already in flight school and began to try her hardest to become a better flyer every day. From sun up until sundown the growing pegasus flew through the sky as fast as she could; dodging the clouds as they came towards her.

For four years, Rainbow practiced harder than many had the guts for; keeping the sole goal in her sights. Everything that Dash did was to achieve that position at the side of the Wonderbolts. It was hard and strenuous work. Several times throughout the days, the filly just wanted to take a break when her body was exhausted or to quit when it seemed that mastering a particular aerial feat was impossible. But when Rainbow was tired or frustrated, she always focused her thoughts on the glorious and talented fliers from that that day at the coliseum, and how unimaginably awesome it would be to don one of those flight suits and take on the title. If the cyan pegasus could join them, she could travel all over Equestria; performing for ponies all over the world. Maybe she would even be recognized by the princess or have the opportunity to see the horizon, the place where heaven meets earth, up close.

Then four years later, it happened. She obviously already had the desire for her dream to be actualized. Rainbow showed this through her unfailing dedication to practice, but soon, she also displayed that her dream was also her destiny in another way. The story is well known. Few can say that they have lived in Equestria and not heard it. Rainbow was accustomed to training and practicing alone, but she also was a very competitive racer. Dash was always looking for a challenge, and always beat her opponent, even if it took her a number of attempts to do so. It was no surprise that when those bullies had the nerve to make fun of Fluttershy, one of her oldest and best friends, she challenged them to a race.

On that day, Rainbow Dash was the hero of Equestria. Everypony had told her that the sonic rainboom was just an old mare’s tale, an old and unproven myth about a pegasus that probably didn’t really even exist. Although, when Rainbow looked at the statue of Celero Optimus Maximus, she knew in her heart that it could be done. This filly would prove those nonbelievers wrong. When racing against those bullies, there was only one goal in her mind: win. That desire was so great that Dash had the nerve to tell the preconceived laws of physics that they couldn’t tell her what she could and couldn’t do. In an audacious attempt to win, she flew as hard and as fast as possible towards the ring made of cloud below her. The only thought that was running through her mind was victory. So victory was hers.

A fraction of a second before Dash hit the ring, she broke the sound barrier and catapulted herself off of the cloud. As the pegasus sped upwards, feeling a great rush of pure ecstasy, she looked behind her and saw not only the rainbow rippling outwards like a shockwave from the point where physics had been cheated, but also the brilliant spectrum of colors that her tail was leaving behind with her trail. At that moment, Rainbow knew that she had become a legend, and imagined all the praise and admirers that her performance had won that day. They said it couldn’t be done, but she proved them wrong. They claimed it was impossible, but a filly had done it.

The overwhelming thrill of the occurrence swept over her and a huge grin spread across her face. Rainbow looked upwards towards the blue sky with the clouds passing by her at a great speed; knowing at that moment that this was the greatest joy that any pegasus could ever experience, and the pegasus knew she wanted to keep feeling this happiness every day for the rest her life. It was that realization that triggered the ancient and magical genetic code of pony kind. On her flanks appeared her cutie mark, an astounding and awesome tattoo of a rainbow shooting out of a cloud like a lightning bolt. At the age of nine Dash had acquired this sigil, and from that day onwards, anypony who saw her would see it and know what she had done and what destiny had in store for her. Before, she just had dedication, but now fate was on her side. There was nothing that could stand in between her and her prize.

Soon after, the triumphant filly completed flight school and earned a job as a weather pony. Dash was trained to move clouds across the sky in an orderly pattern to create rain, and Rainbow was shown how bucking them in just the right way would break them up. So for the years to come, it was her job to keep the sky clear when it needed to be clear, and it was her task to make rain when it was time for rain. Unfortunately, because of this job, she didn’t have as much time to practice anymore. Furthermore, at first, her excitement couldn't be contained when fulfilling her duties, but it was not long before they became work, a chore that she had to do rather than a privilege. Rainbow started to develop some habits that her younger self wouldn't have been proud of like laziness, and was known to sleep on the job occasionally. The weather pony lacked the passion for clearing the sky unlike the case with with joining the Wonderbolts and her work suffered for it. That didn’t mean that training took the back seat though. She still took time out of her day to make sure that her edge had not been lost.

After Twilight Sparkle came to Ponyville, things suddenly started to get interesting. Beginning with the return and defeat of Nightmare Moon, Rainbow suddenly had many chances to claim more accolades. She had always considered herself loyal enough, but apparently that was part of her nature. Later Dash had the chance to help save Equestria again by aiding in the defeat of Discord. And if it wasn’t enough, the mare had once more done the impossible and performed the sonic rainboom in the Best Young Flyers Competition. This time though, she did it in front of Princess Celestia to save her friend.

This was not to mention that in doing that, she had the chance to spend a whole day with the Wonderbolts themselves. Unfortunately, Rainbow was too hyped and distracted like a fangirl on that day to establish any formal credentials with the group. Save for providing a memorable day, it did nothing tangible for her in the grand scheme of things, but after that day, it was apparent that she was getting closer and closer to meeting her goal.

It was for that reason, that only a year after Discord’s defeat, the veteran pegasus thought it was finally time to take the greatest leap of faith. She sent a letter to the Wonderbolts headquarters at Canterlot, requesting a day to try out. Three slow weeks passed before an answer came: Rainbow would have the chance to show off her skills to the Wonderbolts themselves two months from that day. Dash met the idea both excitement and trepidation. On the one hoof, her dream was about to be fulfilled, her life’s work about to be complete, but on the other hoof, by applying to join, a series of events which could lead to her demise had been set in motion. She was fairly certain that she had the right stuff to be accepted by the best of the elite. She had her accolades under her saddle and her skill in her wings, but by nature, was insecure. If by some stroke of misfortune, failure resulted, it would be very difficult to gain the chance for a second try. The Wonderbolts didn’t take kindly to repeated and futile attempts. She was only likely to have one chance.

Moreover, Rainbow was not the only talented pegasus seeking a position among the gods of flight. The determined pegasus had done her research. The process for choosing the Wonderbolts was the most selective trial in Equestria. Not even the royal guards had to pass such rigorous selection. Despite her abnormal quantity and quality of achievements, there were many others from other cities around the world who had trained all their life just as hard, if not harder than she had. That was the reason that it took so long to hear a response. Whenever the Wonderbolts weren’t training, performing, or taking care of homeostatic necessities, they were reviewing applications. It was a full time job indeed. Nor were most of these applicants your average pegaus ponies. Nine out of every ten had wing-power that equaled or surpassed hers. So, she wouldn’t exactly be trouncing the competition. It was going to be close.

Rainbow took the two months before the date as a blessing. During this time, the pegasus trained harder than ever before. She may have been slackening a little in recent days, but not any longer. Before the sun was up, she was out of bed and flying as long, as hard, and as fast as her body would last. Dash worked as fast as possible on week days to get her job done, and then went immediately back to training. The sun went down and she returned home; exhausted but pleased with herself. Although by no means being content with her performance on any day, she rested with half-hearted ease; knowing that she had given it all she had. So this went on for two months, and by the time that period had passed, Dash was certain that she was in the best physical condition of her life.

The day arrived and Rainbow went once more to coliseum at Cloudsdale very early in the morning. This time though, she wasn’t in the spectator’s seat, but in the shaded halls leading to the arena floor. As expected, she was nervous as could be. In addition to the usual symptoms including a minor stomach ache and the fact that her heart was pounding like a jackhammer, during the four hour wait, she had several urges to bail while the opportunity was still there. Maybe this wasn't the right time. Maybe she hadn’t reached her prime. Dash looked around at the others who were there for the same reason. Each one was extremely muscular. The females looked just unnaturally large and the males looked like they might be breaking a few laws when it came to steroids.

The pegasus sat there in the dark, stone tunnel waiting for her turn to fly out into the sun and show what she was made of. One by one, the number of ponies in the tunnel dwindled until only she and six others were left of the original fifty that it had begun with. Finally, her name was called along with a command to get out there. Doing her best to control her shaking, she took off past the open gates into the outside; being greeted by a blast of blinding sunlight. Without hesitation, her examiners sitting in the stands started shouting out commands. She had to perform many types of aerial feats and do several moves that were not anticipated or practiced for. Yet Dash gave it her all and worked her mind and body to their limit all the while; strictly obeying the directions that were shouted at her over the howling wind.

It was over before she even knew what happened. They thanked her for the performance and said that she would receive an answer before the end of the month, a mere two weeks. As Rainbow returned back home, she honestly didn’t know how she did. She critically recalled her presentation and scrutinized her effort. The mare was very nervous all day about how she had done and swore to Celestia that she had messed up a few things like that triple back-flip while simultaneously corkscrewing. However, the next day came and she had forgotten about it. The confident pegasus reverted to her usual laid-back manner of doing things; socializing with friends and even pulling a few pranks with Pinkie. Maybe it was that subconsciously, Dash knew that she could do nothing more to help herself, so she just decided to focus on fun.

She was having a great week of diversion and relaxation coupled with pulling her weight in work. That was until Derpy arrived with the mail. She had just one letter sent in a plain and relatively thin business envelope, addressed with black ink. Not even bothering to look at the return address, she opened it and unfolded the single sheet of paper inside. Then she froze.

Without her even realizing it, Rainbow had opened the response from the Wonderbolts. On the top of the paper was the trademark name written in a fancy, typewritten script and below there was a muzzle-written message to her. Her hooves shook as she read it. This unceremonious and expected arrival left little time to prepare herself, but nonetheless, she read.

Dear Ms. Dash,

We thank you for your interest in joining the Wonderbolts. As you may know, the applicant pool for a position on the team is not only multitudinous, but also greatly diverse and extremely competitive. With this in mind, we have reviewed your performance, and regret to say that we cannot offer you a position in the organization. We understand that you may not find this information gladly, but we encourage you remain optimistic and wish you well in all your endeavors.

Sincerely,

Spitfire
Captain of the Wonderbolts

After Rainbow read the letter, she wasn’t sure what to think. In fact, something was not working properly in her mind. Whatever she was reading didn’t seem to make any sense. She flew inside and lay down on her bed trying to make sense of things. It was morning when the mail arrived, but when Luna raised the moon, she was still lying there. Sleep soon claimed her and she slept through a night full of horrible dreams that there was no waking wake up from. She dreamed of herself being forced to clear the sky of clouds. There was a hurricane and nopony would help her. Somehow, Dash managed to clear the sky and sat down to rest. As soon as she did so, the sky became cloudy again and she was compelled by an invisible force to clear the sky again. This went on until her death day.

She awoke the next morning and did what all ponies do when they have been in a crisis. They hope that what happened the day before was just a dream, but of course it never turns out to be. She looked at her nightstand and there was the rejection letter. As soon as she saw it, its implications finally were made clear to her and the full weight of the matter dropped onto her.

Now Rainbow wished that her mood would have remained like when she first understood she had been rejected. She tried to go to work, but soon had to take sick leave. She went home and moped around, trying her hardest not to cry, but she inevitably did after a lengthy struggle. Tears came from her eyes of their own free will, and within minutes she was sobbing and wailing into her bed pillow. This went on for a while, but eventually stopped. Then she just lay on her bed telling herself how sad she was. The sun went down and she didn’t get any sleep.

This pattern went on for a few more days. Yet now, here she was. She wished that she could keep crying. Crying would at least give her something to do, even if it didn’t have any meaning or, for that matter, even help. Now even her tears had left her and all she was left with were her thoughts. With the cessation of her weeping came her true despondence. With nothing left to distract her, she was now faced with rebuilding her soul.

Rainbow Dash had been in some pretty painful accidents in her time: a broken wing, a concussion, a deep scrape after a hard landing. Rainbow was no stranger to pain. She had also suffered her share of mental sadness: The death of her father, the feeling of repeated defeat by a rival, betrayal. She knew sadness just as well as pain, but she had never known agony. She had heard ponies talk about agony before. They described it like an extreme version of pain or sadness, but this … what she was feeling now … this she knew, was agony. And painful or sad were not proper words to describe it.

Agony, the pegasus now knew, was an intense struggle in the mind. Having lost all distractions like weeping and sleep, she was now dealing with the chaotic war raging within her soul. She had been rejected. She had spent all her life in the pursuit of a single goal and failed to meet it. She had put forth an unconceivable amount of effort, enduring an unimaginable amount of exhaustion and sacrifice, and pressed on with relentless assiduousness, all to claim that prize. Yet she had failed. All of that effort and sacrifice was fruitless. Literally, she had wasted eighteen years of her life.

It had been her purpose, the motivation that she had for getting out of bed in the morning. She had existed for the sole purpose of joining the Wonderbolts. She knew this because fate had not only placed an irresistible desire to make it happen in her heart, but also it had given her the apparent skills necessary to make it happen. It was her purpose predestined by Fate. It was the reason that she was born and the reason that she had not yet died. Though now she knew that her purpose was meaningless and the attempt to actualize it was futile.

All then that was left for her was death; for being without a purpose is the same thing as being dead. To merely exist, to wake up in with the sun and drain resources from the world only to fill it with waste … this was not living. This was miserable, pitiless existence.

End

Rainbow just lay there with a vacant expression in her dim bedroom for several days. Though the room was silent save for the wind that blew through the window, the resounding thoughts of her meaninglessness pounded away in her ears like the drums at an execution. There was no life left in her anymore. She only moved to relieve herself and quench her thirst occasionally. The confident, lively, challenge-seeking speed demon had been reduced to a vegetated pony; slowing wasting away as the time slowly crept along.

The mare no longer had control over her thoughts. They automatically whizzed through the halls of her soul and reveled triumphantly over her. She had no will anymore either; no will to rid herself of her despair or desire to do anything but take care of her most basic hygienic and life-sustaining needs. She had contemplated suicide once during her disorderly train of thoughts, but she knew better than that. Rainbow didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and her death would only make her friends sad. Of course doing nothing would cause the same problem. Sitting there would only make them seek her out, and their discovery of her present state would make them worry. She was in a dilemma without a conceivable solution, so she just stopped caring, like with everything else.

Yet it did eventually happen. It should have come to no surprise to her that after her being absent for a week and a half that Pinkie would look for her. She was justified though in her surprised reaction when Pinkie actually succeeded in finding her.

It was once again midday when Rainbow heard the high pitched voice of the pink party pony. “Oh Dashie, where are you?” She called in a sing-song voice. Rainbow was distraught at the sound of her friend coming. She didn’t want to have to deal with anypony now, let alone Pinkie Pie. It would be best to just keep quiet and act like nopony was home, but of course Pinkie was not the type to give up too easily. Before long, Rainbow heard the soft sound of hooves landing on cloud right next to her. She looked to her left and saw Pinkie standing on the windowsill of her cloud house.

Dash barely had any energy, but she still was surprised enough to jump and shout, “Pinkie!” Her voice was a tad on the weak sad for somepony who should be yelling. “How did you manage to get up here? How are you even standing on the cloud?”

In contrast to Rainbow’s tired, forced voice, Pinkie was, as always, full of life. “Well, first I asked Twilight to cast that spell on me so I could walk on clouds and then I used my flying machine to get up here and now here I am.”

The cyan pegasus sighed and lay back down onto her bed. “Whatever Pinkie.” She said, exasperated. “Did you need something?”

The blissful pony responded in her usual manner, a torrent of words. “Well I just haven’t seen you in a while and I was worried about you. And then I talked to some of the other pegasus ponies and they said you hadn’t come out of her house in a while and I thought you must be so lonely. So I thought I’d come up here and see if I could help you with that.” She smiled with a huge grin.

The downcast pegasus was not amused. “Well that’s nice of you Pinkie, but I’m fine.” She said with mock contentedness.

“Really?” Pinkie asked, nonplussed. “That’s weird. Why wouldn’t you want to see your friends for so long?”

“Sometimes ponies just want to be alone for a while.”

“For two weeks?”

Rainbow was far too down to call herself angry, but never before had she been so frustrated to have to deal with Pinkie. Sure, the party-pony was annoying at times, but in general, she was a joy to have around. Her attitude was contagious and everypony knew it. This time though, the depressed pony wanted nothing to do with her. She couldn’t even put her hoof on the reason why. Her presence was just getting on her nerves. “Yes, Pinkie, for two weeks.” Dash snapped. “Maybe even for a whole month.”

Pinkie wasn’t offended by her friend’s uncalled for behavior. Rather, using her intuition, immediately the pink mare caught on and saw that Rainbow had a problem. “Aw, sounds like somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Is there something bothering you, Dashie?”

“No, Pinkie. Nothing’s wrong.” She said with nearly the same degree of hostility.

“That’s not what it sounds like to me.”

For a split second, Rainbow’s nature brought an odd thought to her mind. What if she decided to talk to Pinkie? Maybe her blissful friend could help her feel a bit better. Yet she brushed it out of her mind almost as soon as it had entered. Pinkie wasn’t exactly the kind of mare who could help anypony with their psychological issues. “Well, you’re wrong.” Dash answered. “Nothing could be better.”

“Are you sure?” Pinkie asked, leaning close to her friend. “You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

Once again, Rainbow sighed and placed her hoof on her face. “Well, there are a few complicated things that I don’t think that you’d understand which I don’t think I should lose time telling you.”

“Like what?” She asked excitedly.

Rainbow, now regaining a portion of her energy with the hope that she could give a vague answer and satisfy her interrogator asked, “Have you ever wanted something so badly and tried your best to get it, but couldn’t have it?”

“You mean like how you want to join the Wonderbolts?”

The pegasus had to use all her might to stop herself from having a rage-induced fit. “Yes Pinkie.” She said through gritted teeth. “Like how I wanted to join the Wonderbolts.”

Pinkie leaned back and her eyes lit up as though she had realized something. “Oh Dashie,” She said in a compassionate tone. “You didn’t already try out for them did you?”

Somehow, the way the pink earth pony said those words made all of her frustration melt away. Now all that was left in her was sadness. Her head fell and she answered, “Yes.”

Pinkie immediately embraced her friend who was coming to tears again. Rainbow recoiled when Pinkie moved, but didn’t try to stop her or break the hug. It was embarrassing for Pinkie to see her like this and it was humiliating that she was about to cry in front of her, so there was no chance that she could look her in the eyes now. Of course though, Pinkie did let go and looked her friend in the eyes. “Are you alright, Dashie?” She asked.

A tear spilled out of Rainbow’s left eye. For a second, she thought about flying out of the house as fast as her wings would carry her and travelling far away from Ponyville; as far away as far would go. But then the compassion in Pinkie’s eyes compelled her to finally answer, “No, Pinkie. No, everything isn’t alright. And I don’t think that you can understand the kind of agony I’m in right now.”

“I can try.”

All this time, the pegasus had thought that she wanted to have nothing to do with other ponies for the rest of her life. Rainbow never wanted to talk with any one of them again. Her only desire was once solitude. Yet now that Pinkie was here and eager to listen, Dash felt that all she wanted to do was pour her troubles out and hope that somepony could help her bear them. She thought that Pinkie couldn't understand, but maybe just voicing her problem would somehow make it better. The broken mare began with a sob. “Pinkie, all my life I’ve wanted to join the Wonderbolts. Since I was just a filly, years before I got my cutie mark, I was training hard every day. I devoted nearly every second of my free time, up until recently, to meet that goal, and I knew that would be my destiny.”

She rephrased that last sentence. “I knew that it was my destiny. I gave up almost all of my life to that goal, and I poured my heart, body and soul into trying to make it happen. Now I realize that it was more than just my goal, it was my purpose. I’ve been alive up until now only to make that happen. I’m here only to do that.” She paused and shed another tear. “But now that they've rejected me, I just don’t see any reason to live anymore. If I don’t have a reason to live then I’m just taking up space like a piece of trash.” Saying this, she burst into tears.

Listening well, and understanding fully what her friend had confided in her, Pinkie once more embraced her friend and spoke soothingly to her. She wasted no time with pointless cooing, but immediately answered her friend with a question. “What if you had been accepted?”

Rainbow looked up. She was now confused. “What?”

Pinkie let go of Rainbow and repeated her honest question again. “What if you had been accepted?”

Rainbow thought that maybe Pinkie hadn’t understood properly. “Pinkie,” She said once more. “I told you, it’s my life’s goal.”

“I know,” She responded. “But what would you do after you were accepted. I know you would travel around with the Wonderbolts, but what would be your purpose then?”

The question seemed so odd to Rainbow. Thinking about it for a moment, the answer seemed so obvious: She would hang out with her teammates all day. Yet then she grasped Pinkie’s point. Even if she had achieved her goal, she still wouldn’t have a purpose anymore, because it would have been fulfilled; leaving her with nothing. Her destiny suddenly seemed so narrow and so focused on the short term, it was ridiculous. Why couldn’t she answer a simple question like that? It bothered her badly now that she couldn’t give an answer.

Pinkie saw this and continued. “Hey Dash, when you were training, did you have fun?”

This, she believed that she could answer immediately. “Of course not. It was hard work.”

“So you didn’t have fun when you raced through the air; imagining that you were a Wonderbolt? You didn’t have fun when you did the sonic rainboom for the first time?”

Dash thought back to her days of training. Now that she thought about it, it was extremely hard work, but every second that she thought about pursing the prize (not taking hold of the prize, but just getting closer to it), Rainbow felt a great rush of excitement. She suddenly remembered that when all of her friends asked her why she was working so hard and told them proudly, she was having the time of her life. When she woke up one day and realized that she could fly faster than before, when she beat (or rather destroyed) her rival in a race after trying so desperately, those were the moments that she wasn't just having fun. Dash was truly living and not just existing.

As Pinkie saw that the tiny seed that she had planted in her friend grew quickly into a giant mass of hope, she smiled and watched the process unfold. The gears of thought inside Dash’s mind were turning. The “what if” questions that the masters of philosophy ask started to come to her of their own accord. “What if,” the cyan pegasus asked herself. “I was actually finding purpose and meaning inside the very act of pursuing the prize itself? What if the success I wanted so badly isn’t a single event? What if it’s a whole bunch of, or even a collection of events like a journey? What if finding the end of the journey in each day and succeeding in every step of the way towards the prize was her purpose? What if spending her life beating herself up for a far off victory wasn’t at all comparable to living the greatest number of hours right now?”

Suddenly, many things became clear to Rainbow Dash. She loved working hard every day for the prize which she sought so fervently. She couldn’t get enough of the great challenge that it was to assess her competition and find a way to beat them. It was the greatest joy for her to wake up in the morning, not because she had already taken hold of the prize, but because today she got the chance to take another step towards it, to press on against the most daunting adversities for the opportunity to claim the greatest of joys.

Extricating herself from her reverie, Rainbow looked at Pinkie who was staring at her now with an innocent smile. “Pinkie,” She said weakly.

“Yes Rainbow Dash?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” The earth pony asked, blinking.

Rainbow sniffed. “For giving me my life back and making me feel so much better.”

Once more, a huge smile crossed the earth pony’s face. “So everything’s okay now?”

Dash rubbed her eyes and said. “Yeah Pinkie. Everything’s more than okay now.”

At this, the party pony let out a humongous whoop and asked, “You know what this calls for?”

Rainbow humored her. “What?”

“A PARTY!” Pinkie shouted. Immediately she hugged Dash one more time and said, “I’ve gotta go get things ready. See you soon, Dashie.” Saying this, she nearly flew out the window and Rainbow heard the sound of machinery starting. Pinkie was off to plan a party that she would throw that night without fail.

After Pinkie left, the newly enlightened pegasus looked out of her window again and gazed on the world below. The sun was still giving its radiant light, but now, with her being in good spirits, it was shining more brilliantly on the ground than ever. Standing up and placing her hooves onto the windowsill, she flexed her mighty and powerful wings for the first time in ages. It felt great to stretch them out. Looking down to ground below, she leapt up through the window and dive-bombed towards it; letting out an exhilarated shout as the deafening wind rushed past her. No matter how many times she did it, she could never let go of the feeling of a free fall. Nor could she ever get used to the thrill of spreading her wings at the last possible second; gliding above the ground with only yards to spare.

Author's Notes

Chapter 1: I titled this chapter is "Agony;" however, this was not my original intention. Originally I desired to simply name it more properly the ancient Greek word αγων (transliterated as agon) from which we get our word “agony.” I made this change because I thought that people would be deterred if I used a foreign word as a title for either of the chapters. In English, “agony” is generally defined as “extreme physical or mental suffering.” As I intended to assert in this chapter, I do not believe that this is a proper definition for the word. “Suffering” could be easily interchangeable with this definition, but I believe that there is no such thing as an interchangeable word. All words have their own, unique meanings, so no one has the exact same meaning as another.

I believe that we should maintain the same meaning as the Ancient Greeks when defining αγων. Their word does not necessarily refer to pain, but can literally be translated as a “struggle,” and is commonly used to refer to a battle. In this chapter, it is not fair to say that Rainbow was in agony in the Standard English sense of the word, but it is certainly appropriate if one is pointing to its Greek derivative.

Chapter 2: As with chapter one, I have given this chapter a crude misnomer as well. I have titled it "End" which is a reference to the Greek word τελος (transliterated telos). “End” is a sufficient translation for the word in most cases, but in nearly all situations it is a horrible interpretation. Originally, this would have not been the case, but since Aristotle took the word and coined a new definition for it, its meaning has not been the same.

Now Aristotle theorized that everything has a tendency to change. This change is for the betterment of the things and is the process by which they attain maturity. Such is part of what he called the nature or “φυσει.” For example, it is the nature for a boy to become a man. This idea may sound biological, and it is in part, but Aristotle looked at it in a different way. The change that the thing experiences is ultimately for the good of the individual though it may at times be painful. This change stops when the complete potential of the thing has been actualized (or brought to reality). He called this stopping point the τελος. Thus, τελος does not necessarily mean “end,” but instead “That for which everything was meant.” Τελος is effectively the recognition of the purpose of the thing.

A great example of this idea can be found in chapter three of my story Brilliance. In this chapter, called “Mazzaroth,” not long after the initial defeat of Discord, Luna practices divination in order to determine what she should do about the public not appreciating her and goes a little farther than she had planned to. She effectively gazes on the entirety of the past, present, and future as a whole. Before this is done though, she looks at the individual stages of the future’s development and is horrified as she sees the terrible events which will befall the world. There come tragedies, one after the other; each worse than the last. Yet when she finally sees the ending, she is indescribably astounded by what she sees: everything that had happened (or rather will happen) was all building up to a beautiful end. Not even the smallest pain that that anypony had endured was in vain, but all things worked together for a good and perfect design. Effectively, she saw the τελος, that for which everything is meant.