Celestia's Secret Service

"Alright, are you comfortable?" asked the relaxed green stallion as he lounged in his old, deteriorating recliner.

"...Well..." responded Twilight as she sat in a rusty metal chair. Earlier, when Sharp asked if they could move the conversation to somewhere more comfortable, she expected them to actually move somewhere...well, comfortable. The chair felt agonizingly cold under his rump and the coldness of the metal touching her wings made her cringe uneasily. She wished that she had chosen the warm recliner, despite its deprecated state. The rest of the room looked decent, however. The walls were a beautiful shade of maroon that gave off a sense that she was in the library of a classy millionaire. However, that feeling ended when she noticed that the paint on one of the walls had obvious faded spots, as if a painting or something else once hung upon it. The floor was lined with a dark brown carpeting and helped compliment the room despite its obvious flaws.

"To restate the question, are you as comfortable as possible right now?" inquired Sharp.

"To be perfectly honest, I'd rather be in your position," replied Twilight.

Sharp chuckled to himself. "I suppose that's only fair." He sat up in his recliner and stood on his hooves as Twilight got up from her seat. They switched places as Sharp sat down on the cold, icy metal, flinching at the contact. Twilight laid down into the seat of the recliner, shifting her wings against the backrest, taking in all the cozy heat emitting off of it. She took notice of Sharp's face as he sat down in the chair. He still had that same relaxed smile as he did when he was on the lounger, only it was diminished a bit by the hellish agony of a cold, metal folding chair. The smile may have tried to look as if he were trusting, but in reality it only made Twilight want to buck him in the face.

"So, tell me your little 'explanation' that you've cooked up just now..."

Sharp rolled his eyes at Twilight's assumption that he was lying. He saw her horn flash between red and green, most likely as a way to separate the facts from the fibs. "Alright, I'll tell you, your highness," he responded, acknowledging Twilight's royalty in an attempt to be respectful. "But first, I need to ask you a question, if it's alright with you."

She raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What question would that be?"

"Why do you think that there's so many disasters happening in Ponyville and so little happening in Canterlot or Manehattan or any other town?"

Twilight thought for a minute before answering. "Well, Canterlot is the residence of Princess Celestia, so it's only fair that little crime would take place there. As for Manehattan and other towns or cities, I assumed that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both together created harmony throughout the land at the beginning of their rule and that it's still present to this day."

Sharp chuckled a bit at her response. "Well, not exactly. You see, after Luna was banished to the moon, Celestia had a harder time keeping everything in order. She only had enough power alone to keep a single city in check, which she tried to mainly focus Canterlot, which made sense because that's where her royal throne was located."

Twilight expected her horn to flash red at any moment now, but instead it emitted a green light. A bit shocked by this, Twilight motioned him to continue. "Anyway, she knew she needed some extra help to try to govern the rest of Equestria, so she tried hiring some paid soldiers to assist her. This group of ponies were simply known as Celestia's Army. The army grew in size and went over many different changes as technology improved, and today they are known as Celestia's Secret Service, or CSS for short."

Twilight's horn still stayed a bright green, making Twilight even more stunned than she was before. She tried to say or ask something, but Sharp continued before she could get a word in. "Basically, every pony enrolled in Celestia's Secret Service is assigned with their own town. They then move into the town to live in their designated headquarters set up somewhere secluded, most likely underground as we are right now."

"Wait, we're underground? Where's the entrance then?" asked Twilight.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." answered Sharp, looking away from Twilight's gaze and cringing a bit. "A-Anyway, usually around 50 ponies run the large cities, 30 to 40 for medium-sized towns, and around 20 for smaller villages."

"So that means there's more ponies working here in Ponyville?"

"Well...no." Sharp's continuous smile faded a bit as he continued. "There's only Gear, Counter, and me. You see, when Princess Luna came back to assist Celestia on the throne, they didn't need CSS as much as before. They decided to cut funding for the program by quite a bit, causing some soldiers to either move to Canterlot to work as a royal guard or to move somewhere else to find a different job. There are still quite a few, just not as much as before. That kinda lost us a few mates, but not much. However, when you had officially settled into Ponyville, Celestia decided that Ponyville was safe enough because you had the Elements of Harmony on your side. All but three left to help govern another city or town. I'll give you a guess to who those three were."

"So, you three stayed here in Ponyville and got your pay cut as well?"

Sharp nodded. "Yep. This used to be a much nicer room. Had a television so that we could watch sports in the best quality possible. We sold it because we needed the money to pay for the damage cause by an incident that happened with one of Gear's...experiments you could say."

"I'm assuming Gear is the griffin, correct?"

"Yeah. Real intelligent and all that. He's in charge of our security system, our electrical power, pretty much everything technological here. He's also a very nice and happy guy. I hardly ever see him sad." He smiled a bit before adding, "He really does make things a little better here with his attitude."

"I see. And...the changeling?" she asked, pausing for a second.

"Counter Feit. Best word to describe him is a smartass. But he is very useful on missions that require stealth."

"Well, he wasn't really that 'stealthy' when we found him messing around town disguised as the same pony as someone else."

Sharp shrugged. "He usually gets drunk from the bar across the street and comes back the next day from Celestia knows where. Probably too hungover to get into character," he snickered, unable to keep a straight face.

Twilight's horn remained green as she raised an eyebrow. "The bar that he hid behind when we caught up to him?"

"Well, technically no...the old owners of the tavern he led to was part of the CSS themselves. Our headquarters resided under the bar and was used as a cover. After Celestia cut our pay, however, they segregated along with everypony else and set up a new location there. I guess they didn't want to be affiliated with the service anymore. Right now, the place is owned under one of Counter's aliases so nopony else would buy it. He put a sign up on the front door saying that the place was under 'heavy renovations' a year ago. Still hasn't done anything to it," he said with a chuckle.

"So, let me get this straight. We are currently under a deserted bar with a pony, a griffin, and a changeling who happen to work under Celestia's reign?"

"Well, that's short and obviously less boring version, but yes," Sharp answered.

Twilight's horn remained green as she sighed and rubbed her temples in circles. "Does Counter have any drinks on him?"

At the main room, Counter and Gear still had their respective arms up. Counter's arms were getting a bit tired as well as his back hooves, both due to the fact he wasn't used to standing on only two hooves and also because, to be honest, he wasn't as physically fit as most ponies.

"Um...I have an itch on my nose..." Counter said.

"Yer not moving a muscle!" threatened the orange pony.

"...Please? It's irritating."

"YOU'RE irritating!" retaliated the blue pegasus, holding up her hoof to receive a high-hoof from the pink pony with the poofy mane.

Counter rolled his eyes at the pegasus's rather lame insult. "Oh, what a GREAT comeback, you multicolored freak."

Her blue face almost immediately changed to a shade of red anger. "What did you call me?!"

Counter snickered and added, "Hey, does the drapes match the carpet?"

Furiously, she darted at him, only to be held back by her friends. "Rainbow, calm down! You know he's not worth it!" the white unicorn said, trying to calm her down.

"Lemme at him! Lemme at him!" squawked the salty pegasus.

Satisfied with his work, Counter folded his arms and snickered, only to receive a disapproving glare from his coworker. "Ms. Dash, I apologize for the immature nature of my friend. He doesn't mean it."

"Yeah, I'm only poking fun at ya," Counter said with a slight smirk. "I actually would be much more cheery if I didn't have five ponies holding me hostage."

"We're not dumb, yer just gonna attack us the minute our back is turned!" Applejack retorted.

"Yeah, so don't even think about disguising your way out of this one, bug-boy!" added Rainbow, still miffed from the earlier wisecrack.

Counter sighed as his smirk disappeared. "Listen, first off, I have a name. It's Counter. Thanks for asking for it. Second, I already stated before that we work for Celestia. The lie detector test proved it. We aren't going to hurt you, we aren't going to kill you. What more proof do you need?"

"Um...girls?" Fluttershy let out, trying to be assertive. "I-I believe Counter's telling the truth."

"WHAT?" all of her friends let out.

"Have you gone insane in the membrane, Fluttershy?!" asked Pinkie.

"N-No, Pinkie. I really do believe he's telling the honest truth."

Pinkie thought for a bit before gasping. "Oh my gosh, I THINK THE CHANGELING BRAINWASHED HER!"

Counter sighed and put a hoof to his face. "Changelings don't have brainwashing capabilities..." he declared.

"THAT'S SOMETHING A PONY WHO JUST BRAINWASHED MY BEST FRIEND WOULD SAY!"

"Pinkie, please listen to me!" Fluttershy said, her tone becoming more confident. Pinkie looked at her as Fluttershy continued. "Everyone, I truly believe that Counter is not going to hurt us. He doesn't seem like he would turn on us like that. Plus, the lie detector test did prove that he's not working with Chrysalis."

"Fluttershy, are ya hearing yerself?" asked Applejack.

"Yes I am, Applejack! I am sure that neither Counter nor his friend will harm us in any way, shape, or form."

"Um...it's Gear," added the griffin. "And she's completely right, we do not intend to hurt any of you."

Everyone went silent for a minute until Rarity spoke up. "If Fluttershy trusts them, I suppose I will too."

Pinkie thought for a moment before speaking as well. "Well if you girls trust them, I do too!"

Rainbow's jaw dropped. "Are you guys seriously siding with them?!"

Applejack looked at Counter and Gear and then looked over at her friends and sighed. "Yes we are. It sounds impossible to believe, but Ah honestly think they're tellin' the truth. Ah think we should give them a chance."

Rainbow's jaw lowered even more, almost to the point of dislocating it. She folded her arms and scoffed. Looking away for a few seconds she finally said, "Fine. I'll believe your little story. But the moment that bug starts bad mouthing me again, I have FULL right to buck his face off."

"Technically Dash, you were the one who insulted him first, so I think he had a perfectly good motive to do so," declared Fluttershy softly. Counter grinned at Rainbow's dismay until Fluttershy looked into his eyes disapprovingly. Not a look that showed that she was angry, just disappointed. "But that still doesn't make it right to fight back with those words."

Counter gulped. Never in his life has he ever met such a sweet, yet intimidating mare. Quietly, he squeaked out a silent, "Yes ma'am."

"Good," she said, smiling at him. She looked over at the rest of her friends, who were quite surprised that she was able to keep the trash talking changeling under control.

"A-Anyway, are you guys not suspicious anymore?" Counter asked.

"Fer now," answered Applejack.

"Good." Counter moved his hoof to his nose to finally get that well-deserved itch. He sniffed and sighed in relief.

Immediately afterwards, the door to the left of them opened. Twilight and Sharp trotted out, both acting more calm and satisfied than when they went in. Everypony turned their heads to them as Gear asked, "Is everything sorted out finally then?"

"Yes, everything is fine now that I've explained the situation," replied Sharp.

"Ah, thank Celestia," said Counter. "So now I guess you fine mares would be leaving now?"

"Oh, quite the contrary, Counter. I still don't know everything about how hard you work, so I'm going to need to keep a close eye on you to make sure you're doing your job correctly and efficiently."

All three mercenaries' smiles dropped almost immediately. "W-What?" Sharp stuttered.

"I need to make sure you three are capable enough to be working for Celestia!" Twilight said. "You know, to make sure whatever pay you have left is worth having."

The room went silent for a few seconds. Nopony said a word until Counter uttered out a single word out loud. "Shit."