Never get naked in your shower

by Yoni

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy
Length: 3430

Twilight wants to know how Anon looks without his clothes, yada, yada, yada, things escalate...

I accidentally revoked submission so I submitted the story again. please don't read if you already have and I'm apologizing in advance

No one had ever seen Anon without his clothes on. Not even the princesses. So they task Twilight to unravel the mystery. How will she fare? There's only one way to find out...

This story is a response for a blog post you can find here. This is pretty rushed so don't expect too much.

Published 2014-12-06 17:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-06 17:10:06 UTC

I promise I'll always wear my clothes

For as long as anypony could remember, Anon had never taken his clothes off. He could always be seen wearing something, be it a nice tuxedo, a hoodie, and even a suit of armor once. But no matter what the occasion was, he would always appear with his clothes on.

As the mystery developed, so were the numbers of ponies seeking out the answer to it. It reached even to the ears of the princesses, and they in turn tasked Twilight, the newly crowned princess of friendship to solve once and for all the mystery of the clothes.

Twilight had just put down the letter she just received from the princesses. She had to read it a few more times before she managed to comprehend what was she supposed to do.

"Spike!" she called.

Spike hurried down the steps on her tree house and saluted once he reached Twilight near her desk.

"You called me, Twilight?"

"Yes I did, Spike. I need you to write a letter to the girls. Tell them that I need them to be here as fast as possible."

Spike nodded eagerly before moving back upstairs to prepare the letters. Twilight let out an expressed sigh once the young dragon left her vision. This is probably her hardest test yet.

Twilight was no stranger to Anon's reluctance to dispose of his clothes, yet she had never bothered with it too much, that it was not a big deal. But apparently, it was, for the princess themselves had tasked her to uncover the mystery.

Twilight honestly did not know how to feel about that. It wasn't uncommon to see ponies with clothes on, but they wore them for parties mostly, and even then only some. So why everypony was so bothered with a human wearing clothes all the time?

Twilight was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door.

"Umm… come in?" Twilight called, unsure. It couldn't be her friends, could it? After all, Spike just sent the letters probably.

The door burst open, sending a wave of cold winter's day breeze as a pink blur passed it before coming to a stop right in front of Twilight. A gust of air pushed Twilight off her hooves and straight to the wall behind her.

"Hey Twilight! What are you doing on the wall silly?" called Pinkie. She somehow carried Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy on her back, entangled in her mane, each looking more disoriented than the last.

Twilight tried to pry herself off the wall but soon discovered that she had actually created a small crater in it and she could not move. "Oh you know Pinkie, just hanging out…"

"Ha! Hanging out, good one Twilight." Pinkie chuckled as she approached the trapped alicorn on the wall and pulled her out with a comical SNAP noise.

"Pinkie, darling, I hate to be a bother but could you please… let us out?" asked Rarity as she tried in vain to remove Rainbow Dash's tail from her face.

"Oh, then why didn't you say so sooner!?" with a shake of her head. Pinkie had thrown the mares to opposite sides of the library. Once she cleared the starts from her eyes, Pinkie looked around. "Hey! I wanna be stuck on a wall too…"

"So you're telling me that the princesses themselves tasked you to… see Anon naked?" asked Applejack. All six mares sat in a circle in the middle of the room. Twilight had just finished briefing her friends on the situation.

"I guess they did," answered Twilight, not entirely sure what else to say, "They didn't say anything besides revealing why Anon doesn't take his clothes off. Maybe we can just ask him?"

"And miss all the fun?!" Pinkie gasped. "But what about the revealing what's under his clothes?"

"Maybe he's embarrassed because he has a small wiener," suggested Rainbow Dash. She and Applejack started sneering at the thought while the rest simply stared at them.

"How uncouth of you two," chided Rarity, "To talk about somepony's private parts. The audacity!"

"Girls please," interrupted Twilight, "I don't think it's about pride. When it comes to boasting, Anon is strutting about like the cock of the walk."

Fluttershy almost fainted as Applejack and Rainbow Dash started laughing like mad mares. Rarity's cheeks turned a lovely shade of red while Pinkie came awfully close to Twilight, prompting her to back off slightly.

"Admit it, Twilight," said Pinkie as she wiggled her eyebrows at Twilight "Deep down, you like the walk of that cock."

Twilight couldn't fight the blush that was creeping on her face. Fluttershy was way past the point of saving as she fell to the ground, unconscious. Rarity, too, had a massive blush on her cheeks and Applejack and Rainbow Dash almost choked with laughter.

Everything suddenly came to a stop when someone knocked on the door, followed shortly by someone's voice.

"Twilight, may I come in?"

It was Anon…

"Come in," replied Twilight absentmindedly, forgetting for a moment the situation she was in. She quickly covered her mouth, her eyes went wide, but the damage was already done. The door turned slowly, almost agonizingly so, and in came the cock of the walk.

"Hey Twilight, I'm here to return some books and…" Anon looked around the room. Five mares were looking at him with massive blushes while one was unconscious. "O-kayyyy… I arrived at a bad time so I'll just go…"

Anon took a single step back.

"Wait!" called Twilight.

Anon stopped in his tracks but still looked like he was ready to bolt at the drop of a hat. "Don't worry Twilight…. I'll come later, when I'm not interfering with anything."

"It's not what you think we were simply…" Twilight trailed off, not what to say.

"Preparing a sleepover!" blurted Pinkie.

"A… sleepover?" Asked Anon. Pinkie nodded frantically.

"Yes, yes, yes, sleepover. There's going to be games, and music, and scary stories and it's going to be awesome!" Pinkie's eyes darted left and right before snapping them back at Anon "Oh and you're invited."

"I am?"

Twilight looked over at Pinkie before her eyes went wide as a small smile adorned her face. She turned back to Anon and nodded. "Yes, we were a planning a sleepover tonight at nine and thought about inviting you as well, if you want to."

'Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…'

"Meh, why not."

"YES!" Twilight exclaimed, throwing a hoof in the air. She stood like that for a few seconds before realizing how stupid she must have looked. "Heh, heh, sorry… got a little excited."

Anon raised an eyebrow. "I could tell..."

Twilight blushed as she looked away from Anon.

The man shrugged before placing the stack of books he was holding up until now on a desk and stepped outside. "I'll be arriving around nine, see ya," he called before closing the door behind him.

An awkward silence hung in the air as the Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged looks between Pinkie and Twilight, the former supporting a huge grin while the latter was practically bouncing in place.

"Pinkie, you are a genius," Twilight praised, hopping towards Pinkie and giving her a hug.

"I know!" replied Pinkie, returning the hug. "What did I do?"

"It's now nine and two minutes, he's late!" Twilight fumed.

After the small encounter with Anon earlier today, Twilight, with the help of her friends, had helped her organizing this Improvised sleepover. Luckily, Pinkie had a conveniently hidden stash of sleepover themed parties right next to the library.

How you may ask. Because Pinkie, that's why!

As previously stated by Twilight, the hour was nine and two minutes, and the lavender alicorn was agitated by the lack of punctuality from a certain human.

"I mean, how hard it is to arrive on time?! He had the entire day to prepare himself, so why isn't he here already?"  She directed her last statement towards her friends, all of whom were wearing their respectful nightgowns.

Rarity had a purple, semitransparent nightgown with frills along the rims. Fluttershy had a light pink gown that hanged loosely around her. Rainbow Dash had a wonderbolts themed nightgown, complete with the logo. Pinkie had, surprisingly, a black night gown that clung tightly to her barrel with two toned violet streaks running from her neck downwards. Applejack chose a simple white nightgown, despite Rarity's pleas to try something a bit more 'daring'.

As for Twilight, she chose not to wear anything, partially because she never owned in her life a nightgown and partially because it did not feel right to her.

"Relax, sugercube. Anon should be here any-"

Knock, knock, knock

"Finally!" huffed Twilight before she trotted towards the door and opened it. Anon stood there, with a bulky white coat and a pair of snuggly dark blue track pants. He was smiling, though it quickly disappeared once he saw Twilight's angered expression.

"Uhh… hey Twilight, how's it goi-"

"You're late, Anon! We said nine. Now it's nine and two minutes. TWO MINUTES! That's one hundred and twenty seconds wasted."

"Twilight darling, I think that you're a bit overreacting, don't you agree?" Rarity came next to Twilight and flashed Anon a smile before turning her attention to Twilight.  "I mean, nopony can ever be THAT punctual, and it's not that comfortable walking down the streets during winter. How about we let it slide for now?"

Twilight sighed, but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry Anon."

Anon smiled before giving Twilight a rough pat on the head, and act that would give Rarity a heart attack should he try doing it to her. Anon stepped into the warm and cozy room, which was decorated with various party assortments, and sat down on a bean bag next to Fluttershy. Without warning, Anon grabbed Fluttershy, which responded with an 'eek', and placed her on his lap, stroking her mane and back like a cat.

"And to think I was a pilot back on Earth…" Anon said offhandedly, only loud enough for Fluttershy to hear.

"You were a pilot?" asked Fluttershy, now slightly more relaxed due to the unexpected, but totally welcomed petting.

"Yep, UAV pilot…"

"What?"

"Never mind," Anon sighed, "This joke won't work here."

Fluttershy was about to respond when the pink menace known as Pinkie appeared right in front of Anon.

"Come on, Anon! We have tons of stuff to do and the night is still young!"

Before either Anon or Fluttershy could protest, Anon felt a tug on his coat as he was being dragged by a pony half his size towards a table full of snacks.

Anon opened his mouth but as soon as he did, he felt something being shoved into it. The creamy texture and the slightly moisture was too tempting, and so, Anon instinctively started chewing. It was the best damn cupcake he had ever had the honor to eat.

"This is good!" he said after he swallowed, looking at a tray of cupcakes and moving towards another, but before he could snatch another one, Pinkie rushed to bring his a glass of punch, the only problem was, his hand was in the way, and so, Pinkie tripped and 'accidently' spilled the punch all over Anon's coat.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Anon, I didn't mean it," Pinkie hurried to say. She quickly grabbed a box of tissues and tried to wipe the stain away, which only served to worsen the case.

"Pinkie stop," said Twilight. She moved in front of Anon to block Pinkie from trying to fix his coat with more tissues. "We'll just have to get it cleaned properly." She then turned to Anon. "Is it okay that I take your coat, Anon? I promise to bring it back to you as soon as possible."

Anon shrugged, not saying anything as he started to unzip his coat.

'Oh my goodness, I can't believe it worked. Who knew Anon would fall for the oldest trick in the book!' Twilight praised herself. Her vision suddenly darkened as Anon threw his coat at her, expecting her to catch it with her magic. Instead, Twilight was so busy congratulating herself that she did not even notice.

She quickly came to her senses and hurried to pull the coat off of her and see how Anon looked without-

"Ahh, much better," said Anon as he straightened the wine red sweatshirt that he wore in addition to the coat to avoid the cold bite of winter's night.

"Oh come on!" Twilight exclaimed out loud, earning a few snickers from her friends and a confused look from Anon.

"Is something wrong Twilight? You're not ill are you?" he then crouched next to Twilight, resting a hand on her forehead. Twilight felt a rush of warmth across her cheeks as Anon rubbed his hand across her face.

"My god, you're burning!" he said once his hand found Twilight's cheeks.

Twilight quickly jerked away from Anon, trying to put as much distance between her and the tall, muscular, handsome, fully clothed man.

"I-I'm fine, Anon. L-L-Let's play some games, shall we?"

Anon still looked rather suspicious but finally agreed. While Pinkie was leading him and the girls to play a few of her famous party games, Twilight was formulating another plan to strip Anon of his attire in a way that would not look to suspicious or perverted. She was so sure that the punch 'accident' would be enough, but apparently Anon was more cunning than he let on. Luckily, Twilight was no fool either. There are other ways to strip Anon down, and she WILL succeed.

"Just you wait Anon," she murmured to herself, "By tonight, everypony will know, muahahahah…"

"Umm… Twilight? Is everything okay?" asked Anon from the other side of the room. He was holding a slice of pizza in his hands as a small trail of melted cheese dribbled down his chin. He looked at her with uncertainty as he chewed slowly on his pizza "Because I'm pretty sure you just laughed evilly."

"Who? Me? I did not," she proclaimed before trotting happily towards her friends. "Now, how about we play a game."

'Dear Celestia, I'm such a genius' Twilight silently cheered to herself. In her magic were five cards. Three Celestias and two tens. 'With this hoof, there's no way I can lose. I still can't believe I convinced Anon to play Strip poker, I'm not even wearing anything!'

Anon was sitting in front of Twilight with a confident smile. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were besides Twilight while Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy were next to Anon. His cards were lying on the table with their front hidden. He occasionally peaked at his hand before returning his piercing gaze back at Twilight.

"I raise…" he said. Since it was strip poker, Anon pulled two cards with a rough drawing of his clothes scribbled on them, and tossed them towards Twilight, whose eyes turn wide for a moment as she gazed at the cards before smiling victoriously.

'He's betting all his clothes, this is going to be sooo- wait, what if he has a better hoof?!'

Twilight looked back at Anon and discovered something truly frightening.

She couldn't get a read on him…

Anon was smiling.

'Is he bluffing?'

Twilight felt something wet trickle down her brow.

'Why am I so sweaty?'

Twilight, very briefly, looked at her friends on Anon's side, trying to detect something that would suggest on the current situation. Unfortunately, none of them showed any sign or hint, not even Fluttershy.

Twilight returned her gaze to her cards and tried and failed to smile.

'Relax, this hoof is unbeatable.' She lowered her cards just enough to see Anon's teeth barely flashing as he smiled ever so slightly. His eyes bore into her own, exposing her deepest secrets and reading them like an open book.

'No…'

Twilight lowered her hoof in defeat. Her ears splayed backwards.

"I fold…"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash gasped as Pinkie, Rarity and even Fluttershy cheered. Anon crossed his arms and smiled triumphantly as he looked down on Twilight.

"Don't feel bad Twilight. You go mess with the best and you go down like the rest," he recited before going somewhere upstairs, leaving the six mares to their own antics.

Twilight huffed in frustration before glaring at her friends, or more precisely, the three that were supposed to give her info on Anon's hoof.

"What the hell girls, I thought I told you to give me hints so I could beat Anon!"

Pinkie, Rarity and Fluttershy all shied away from Twilight. Sheepish smiles on their faces.

"W-Well, you see darling," stated Rarity. She fidgeted slightly in place before collecting her thoughts, "We were just so into it that we might have… forgot about that tiny little tidbit of information."

Twilight's eye twitched as a loose hair sprung from her mane. "Tiny. Little. Tidbit?"

Rarity looked ready to bolt at any second when a distinctive sound was heard across the tree house.

The mares all perked up at what they just heard.

It was the sound of running water…

Rainbow Dash looked towards the stairs leading up to second lever. "Twilight! He's-"

"Taking a shower!" Twilight completed her. "That's it! How could I be so thick?!"

Twilight rushed towards the stairs, ready to unravel the mystery when an orange blur tackled her to the ground.

"Applejack, what are you doing!? Get off of me!" shouted Twilight. She tried to claw herself from the farm pony, but Applejack was well known for her strength.

"Now you wait just a damn minute, sugercube! Do you really want to do that? To barge in like that and makin' a fool out of yourself? Not to mention disrespecting Anon's privacy."

"Yes, yes, and yes! I was tasked by the princesses to do it and I'm not going to give up now. Not when I'm so close!"

Twilight's horn flared and in an instant she vanished, only to reappear on the second floor, dashing towards the bathroom.

"Come on, girls. We need to stop Twilight before she makes a fool out of herself!" Applejack cried. The girls nodded before bolting towards the bathroom as well. It was quite the sight to see five mares all trying to go up the stairs at the same time. Luckily, Rarity came to their help as she used her magic to fling the girls upstairs. But as they reached the second floor, they could already see the door to the bathroom wide open. Steam was coming from the after mentioned room as the sound of water was even more pronounced at this distance.

Without thinking, the girls rushed towards the bathroom, tore into the room. Crashed into Twilight, and saw…

Anon.

The shower head was on as water cascaded his fully clothed form. A blank expression on his face as he gazed at the mares.

"What the…" was all Applejack could say before the sound of popping bubbles filled the air. The rhythm was constant and rather catchy.

And at that very moment, Anon pulled a guitar out of thin air and, with an obnoxiously high pitched voice, started singing…

I'll never get naked in your shower,

I promise I'll always wear my clothes.

I only get naked in my shower, behind closed doors,

but I'll never get naked in yours.

As long as I'm a guest in your home, I declare this an anti-awkward zone,

n' there ain't no need for privacy, ain't no private parts you see

this way we don't have to be, a-lone. hunh!

I'll never get naked in your shower,

I promise I'll always wear my clothes.

I only get naked in my shower, behind closed doors,

but I'll never get naked in yours.

Rarity started fanning herself as the steam made its way into her mane and began to ruin it. "It's getting kinda steamy in here."

"Well you can take your gown off if you want," suggested Anon.

"I'm not taking my gown off!"

I'll never get naked in your shower

"Good job, that was a test."

I promise I'll always wear my clothes,

I only get naked in my shower, behind closed doors

But I'll never get naked in yours.

As the song finally ended, Anon returned his blank expression back towards the stunned mares, all the while his clothes were thoroughly and utterly soaked.

Twilight's eye twitched again as more loose strands popped from her mane. And with a mighty roar, she cried.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…"