Remember to Say Your Goodbyes

by alxsmpgmr

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Romance, Tragedy
Length: 10457

The story of a stallion, wrongly accused of crimes he did not commit, going through his last days.

The story of a stallion and his life. Accused of crimes he did not commit, with no chance of freedom, he recounts his life and visits his friends and family for the last times. Based on a drawing I did, and my first fanfic. The cover image is drawn by me, and is the basis of the story.

UPDATE: It's back.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-05 19:37:34 UTC

The Verdict

*Writers note: This is my first fanfic. Yes, I know it’s not perfect. I just hope you all enjoy the writing. Thanks for reading

-alxsmpgmr*

It’s been a long time since I’d accepted defeat. The first time was in elementary school, another filly called me “Blank Flank” for hours on end, and by the time I was ready to kick him in the face, I just gave up. I didn’t want to get in trouble because of my anger. So I gave up. After 5 months of being called “Blank Flank” the little stallion finally stopped, and not because I got my cutie mark, I moved. I had lived in Manehattan for a long time, and my parents decided a change of scenery would be nice. So, off to Las Pegasus we went. It was an interesting place. I actually made some friends there. But even still, I felt alone. It was a common theme in my life.

Loneliness.

In a room full of people I felt alone. At a party, I felt alone. Everywhere, I felt alone. Sure, there were always people there to talk to me, but I didn’t have many people to really “be” with on an emotional level. After 4 years in Las Pegasus, I was finally a full grown stallion. I moved to Canterlot, hoping to find a good restaurant to work in. That was my cutie mark of course. A small chef’s knife and pan showed it well that cooking was my talent.

I loved to cook. My parents had both been terrible chefs, so one day while they were gone and I was home alone, I decided to cook for them. I pulled down some cookbooks and made up a huge dinner. It was delicious and I loved every second of it. Combining the ingredients to create flavors, the herbs and aromas that mingled together in warm pots and pans. I loved everything about it. Best of all, it made my parents happy.

Even if I couldn’t make people happy with my words, I made them happy with my food. I lived there for 3 years, until now. Now. That word didn’t seem to register right with me anymore. I remember when I had first moved here. There was a note on the door of my apartment.

“Welcome, Frying Caesar! The Canterlot welcome committee is so happy to have you here! Happily- Percival Pie” It was a nice thing. There were balloons on the mailbox and an invitation to a party in my honor or something. It made sense I suppose. I’d met a pony named Pinkie Pie once. I left Ponyville almost dead. This was while I was on my way to Canterlot. Insanity doesn’t describe the party she held. Evidently she sent word ahead to her brother that a new pony was on the way. I was terrified at the thought of another party like that one. But, I went to the party. It was fun.

After a couple of minutes of trotting, I found the address. The door was slightly ajar, light seeping into the seemingly empty room. It felt like something out of a horror story, I’d never seen a bakery look so terrifying. Beneath a sign with “Cupcake Castle” a small wooden door, barely wide enough for most stallions to fit through, and covered in sprinkles, was waiting. I didn’t know what to do. This was the place listed on the invitation, and it was the right time. Should I go inside? I heard a whirring sound from behind me in the distance. Before I could turn around, I found myself flying through the door, a small mare crashing into me.

I would have screamed if I had fully comprehended what was happening. Blitzkrieg wasn’t a good enough term to describe it. When I landed I found a small peach/orange colored pegasus standing over me with a scooter laying on the floor nearby.

“Hi there, my name’s Scootaloo! Welcome to your party!” She said in a voice like that of an announcer at a Wonderbolts stunt show. A loud explosion went off, and the last thing I saw was a group of people yelling “Surprise!” and confetti flying everywhere. The colors flying through the air quickly faded to black and the shouting fell muffled, leaving only my heartbeat in my ears.

Today was an important day. I had to go to court and receive my verdict. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to run. But, I had nowhere to run to. I had no one to run to. Hope was gone, and numb acceptance of my fate took its place. I knew what was going to happen. I knew I had no chance. I got out of my bed and stood up. My pillow was streaked with tears and crumpled. I didn’t want this to be true.

“I’ll miss you.” I said absent-mindedly to the pillow and bed. “I could always count on you to cuddle me.” I let out a small chuckle. My voice was hoarse from the night before. I quietly made the bed and made sure everything looked in order. The blanket was dry and tasteless, unsurprisingly. Walking down the stairs to my kitchen, I almost trip a couple of times. I was always clumsy when it came to moving a lot, especially in the morning. At least I wasn’t clumsy with a knife. I’d be in much worse shape if I were. I poured a small bowl of oats and began to munch on them. They were delicious. I don’t know why but they were. They were the same oats I’d eaten every day before for years, ever since I moved to Canterlot. They were cheap, and usually flavorless. Why did they taste so good today? I frowned and quickly lost my appetite.

After locking up I went outside, ready to head to the main castle. I passed Cupcake Castle on the way. I have a lot of good memories there.

I woke up on a sofa in a strange room i’d never seen. Panic is a good word to describe what I did.

“What’s going on?!? Where am I???” I shouted. I looked around. It was a small room, a simple bookshelf and bed the main features in the room. The small sofa I was on was right next to a chest. I guessed I was in a guest room somewhere, but where?

The doorknob creaked quietly and turned, the door opening slowly.

“Is everything ok?” A blue-gray pony asked. I had to do a double take. His hair was pink, but his body was a pleasant blue-gray, I’d never seen that before.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Where am I?” I asked, slowly standing up, feeling I could trust this stallion.

“You’re in Cupcake Castle, silly. You passed out when I fired the party cannon. Sorry about Scootaloo, by the way. She’s a little.... Extreme, to say the least.” He explains slowly. “Anyways, now that you’re feeling better, why don’t you come down to the party?”

“Ummm... Ok.” I said hesitantly. Scootaloo was the peach/orange pony then, that’s good to know. “Wait, what’s your name?” I felt I needed to know, so I know who shot at me with a cannon.

“Oh, my bad.” He chuckled lightly. “I feel terrible. My name is Percival Pie. You can call me Percy, my friends do. How about you return the introduction?” He asked. I had a feeling he already knew, but was just giving me a hard time.

“My name’s Frying Caesar. Most people call me Caesar.” I informed smugly, a smirk popping up on my face. He seemed alright, but if I saw him with artillery again, I was going to run. We slowly made our way downstairs, making sure I could still move right. Once I was downstairs, a loud cheer erupted as the other ponies saw me. Greetings were had and after more introductions I finally got a chance to breathe. I snuck over and grabbed a cupcake from one of the snack tables, and that’s when I saw her.

The castle seemed to loom over everything. Even with its majesty and beauty, it was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. I knew within my fate would be announced. I didn’t want to go, but I did. It seemed oddly empty. The echoes of my hooves went on and on in the arched halls. A small door was where I was headed. The end of the hall came quickly, and the door seemed massive, it looked like the gate to Hades. I took some deep breaths and it returned to being a normal wooden door. I slowly opened it, walking inside swiftly and quietly shutting it behind me.

It was a small room, with a couple of rows of chairs and a stand for the judge, be it Celestia, Luna or Cadence. I sat down and looked around. The only other ponies present were Twilight Sparkle, my parents, and a short little stallion who I didn’t know. He seemed familiar but I couldn’t place my hoof on why. It was too quiet, no whispers or mumblings floated about the room. Only the quiet breathing of five ponies waiting to see what would happen. A click sounded from behind the stand, followed by another. Celestia walked up and looked about. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then closed it, opting to instead, walk around the podium and up to me.

“You’ve committed a heinous crime, stealing the Elements of Harmony. I don’t know how you did it, or why, but you can not be forgiven for this. You’ve put the entire kingdom of Equestria at stake. You put the safety of millions of lives into jeopardy and there is no worse crime. I’ve thought about this carefully, and I see only one option.” She quietly walked back up to the stand. My throat felt like a desert, my tongue was dead in my mouth. I would have said something in my defense, but my lungs stopped cooperating. I couldn’t breathe. She stood up at the stand and pulled out a piece of paper from beneath.

“Frying Caesar, you’ve stolen the Elements of Harmony, and have nearly destroyed Equestria. As punishment you will be banished to the moon. You have three days to say your final goodbyes and will then be sent. Do not try to escape, Twilight Sparkle here will keep tabs on you and will keep you from attempting to flee the city. You may leave the courtroom now.” My heart collapsed in my chest, everything went numb. My parents got up and left, not saying a word. The small stallion had somehow disappeared, Twilight got up and walked over to me.

“Let’s go.” She said. Her voice was quiet, controlled. She was sad. She didn’t want me to go, I didn’t want to go. I felt my heartbeat rising rapidly, I didn’t want to die! What will happen to my kids??? How will my family fare?!? I didn’t want to lose everything! I worked hard to get where I am at, please let this be a dream!!! My heart felt like it was going to explode and the edges of my vision went black. Silence filled my thoughts and I passed out.

Cupcake Castle

Her dark blue mane gave off a cool glow in the dull light of the bakery, the streaks of purple and pink seemed to cut through the aura. Her soft violet eyes seemed to sparkle, light from the disco ball refracting erratically off of them. She was stunning. I started to scan her over. Oh crap, I thought to myself, once I got to her cutie mark. The stars were small, elegant, and subtle. I however, was not subtle. She was staring right at me, looking displeased. I quickly averted my gaze, opting instead to stare at the oak wood floors beneath my hooves. A blush ran to my face and I felt my heart practically stop. Please don’t faint again on me body, I thought to myself.

“Well,” She said, making me jump. Her voice was soft, sweet, and a tad bit melodic. It also had a tinge of scolding in it. “Would you like to ask for my name, or should I just give it to you?”

The blush strengthened, surely I looked like a tomato by now, and I stammered, tripping over words.

“M-my name i-i-is Fry-ying C-c-caesar....” I began, feeling like an idiot and all around loser. “Mos-st people c-call me Caes-sar though...” My voice was cracking and I felt my throat start to go dry. I’d never been thrown on the spot like this before. I looked up into her eyes and what little breath I had left my chest.

“Well my name is Twilight Sparkle. Quick bit of advice, you should know the name of a book before you check it out.” She said, sounding a little shaky herself, but overall confident. Wait, was that a joke? Should I laugh? I decided to just apologize for now. And why does that name sound familiar...

“I’m very sorry....” I began, feeling my voice start to come back. “I couldn’t help myself, you’re a very beautiful mare.” I complimented, hoping she wouldn’t kill me. Still... That name seemed so familiar. I’d read it in a newspaper somewhere.

“It’s ok.” She said softly with a blush. “Just don’t do it again Caesar.” She added more confidently and directly. Then I remembered! The Elements of Harmony! I’d read in a newspaper about how Twilight and her friends saved Equestria twice! And... She was Celestia’s student. Oh crap!

“I won’t, please just don’t have me banished to the sun! I didn’t mean to I swear it was an accident!” I pleaded, practically falling to my knees. This was awful! I may have just insulted a friend of the Celestia! I didn’t want to be banished!!! Twilight let out a giggle then took a breath.

“There won’t be any banishing today, don’t worry. However,” She said. “I do have to leave now. I’d like to get to know you better. You should come to the Canterlot Library sometime. You’ll probably find me shelving books.” She wrote down the address on a napkin and handed it to me. “Just don’t get lost in there. It’s a big place. I’ll see ya soon!” She warned.

“I won’t! I promise! I’ll see you later.” I said, taking a deep breath. As she was leaving, I caught another view of her flank, and of her staring back at me. The blush returned instantly. She walked out and I was finally able to breathe again. I couldn’t wait to go to the library for once. Now, in the meantime, I should really eat something.

I woke up in a hospital bed, a nurse by my side and Twilight in a chair nearby. The whole room had that sterile feeling. I liked it. Being a chef and all, cleanliness was second nature to me, and it was nice. Wait, how did I get here? I remember... The verdict... An audible sigh left my lips, and tears began to well up behind my eyes. I was going to be banished. To the moon. A cold pit grew in my stomach.

“I know,” Twilight said quietly. “I don’t want you to go either.” She practically read my mind. She had a knack for doing that. Either she was psychic or I was transparent. The nurse left, not wanting to intrude on our conversation, and the door clicked shut quietly behind her. “And there’s no getting away from this. I’m sure you already knew that though. There are guards at every exit and they have your picture.” The pit in my stomach grew.

“Ok.” That was all I could say without letting the emotional dam break. I didn’t want the tears to flow. I didn’t want to feel weak. “Can we please leave here? I want to go visit some people.” I asked, worried that the nurses wouldn’t allow me to leave. They were always so strict about making people rest at least one day. But with three days until my... banishment... I couldn’t waste any time.

“I already talked to the nurses, they’re going to let you out early considering the circumstances.” She told me. I felt a small weight lift off my chest, but it was a short lived relief. It just meant I could see my loved ones again. “Let’s go. I’m sick of this place already.” I felt a little bitter about the whole situation, but I couldn’t let it get to me. I stood up and took off the patient’s gown. Twilight stood up quietly and walked over to the door.

“Where do you want to go first?” She asked, opening the door.

“Cupcake Castle.” I said, barely audible. A small tear escaped my eye, knowing I would be crying more soon.

“Dude! Did you really just hit on Twilight?!? Brohoof!” Percival shouted, practically vaporizing into existence next to me. I jumped a bit, and humoured his brohoof.

“Yeah I did. Is that good or something?” I asked, very confused as to what was going on.

“Nobody has ever had the courage to hit on Twilight! She can be quite intimidating. After all, she’s got enough magic to turn pretty much everyone in Canterlot into frogs. All at once.” He almost seemed to tell it like it was a story, like it happened. With that, the blush and color in my face rapidly drained.

“I don’t want to be a frog.” I croaked. “That just sounds bad.” My thoughts rapidly imagined a Canterlot full of frogs instead of ponies. And did that include Celestia and Luna? That would be very very bad. “I’m not going to piss her off.” I amended.

“That’s a good idea. Anyways, the party’s almost over. You’re welcome to head home if you want.” He informed me. I hadn’t noticed, but about half of the ponies who had been there were not gone. The place felt open finally, I had breathing space! I took a slightly deeper breath, enjoying the freshness of the air.

“I’ll stay and help clean up if you don’t mind,” I offered. “I feel bad if I just leave you here to clean up the mess from the party for me all by yourself.” I searched around, seeing more ponies leave, and finding the broom.

“Well that’s much appreciated Caesar. I think we’ll get along great.” He predicted happily. We cleaned up for the next hour, chatting about our lives and the such. As it would turn out, he was Pinkie Pie’s cousin. It definitely made sense. He also seemed to be an engineer though. He had hundreds of blueprints; designs for party cannons, cake guns, portable party palaces, gummy bear grenades. It was rather ridiculous, but fun to look at. All of his blueprints were even patented! He had quite a lot to work on. How he made his gadgets, planned parties, and ran a bakery was beyond me! Finally, I went home, after hours. The moon was high in the sky, and the streets were dimly lit with magical lamps. Once I got home, I quickly sank into the couch.

“I need to get a bed tomorrow,” I informed the empty room. “Remind me.” I added. After a deep yawn, I quickly fell into a slumber infested with dreams of purple ponies, cannons, and for some reason, chocolate.

The door to the Cupcake Castle was locked tight, a heavy chain keeping it shut. It was sad, really. The whole place just seemed to bring down the entire street it was on. Ever since Percival... I felt my eyes tearing up again.

“Please open it Twi,” I asked in a whisper. Her horn softly glowed a pink, and the chains quietly fell to the ground, a light clatter rising from the impact. I opened the door, hearing the squeak of the hinges.

“I told him to oil those hundreds of times ya know?” I told Twilight, feeling the tears rising. “Every time I would come over for a party or to hang out I told him. Do you know what he said? He said ‘I like the sound. It lets me know when there are people here to make happy.’.” I couldn’t hold back any more. I collapsed to the ground and the flood of tears began. Twilight went outside and closed the door behind her, the squeak of the hinges only adding to the torrent leaving my eyes. I don’t know how long I cried for, but it was at least half an hour. I finally stood up and grabbed a mop, sobs still escaping my throat. I wiped up the puddle of tears i’d made and began to walk around. I eventually found myself upstairs in Percy’s room. The rope was still hanging from the rafters.

“I miss you buddy.” I said, choking on the words. “You were my best friend ever. I still don’t understand why you did what you did, but I miss you. I could really use you right now too.” The empty room offered no response. I went over and laid on the bed that i’d woken up on years ago after fainting during the surprise party. More tears started to escape.

“You always had my back Percy. I loved you like a brother.” My words were barely audible, being interrupted by sob after sob. “I didn’t do it. I didn’t steal anything. I know it, and you know it. You would be able to help me out of this mess.” My eyes kept shedding tears. Hopefully they’ll stop soon. I looked up and noticed a picture on his dresser. It was a picture of us together, standing at the Great Dessert Competition holding our silver trophy. We worked so hard on that liquid cake. It took months of planning and preparation. It was so much fun. The tears that were dying down were now rejuvenated, refilled by the memories of Percy. I put the picture face down and walked over to where the tape was on the floor in the shape of a stallion.

“I’m being banished to the moon Percy. For a crime I didn’t commit.” I spoke softly, as if trying not to wake a sleeping filly. A small, morbid smile crept across my lips. “At least i’ll be able to see you soon.” Those were the last things I could say. My tongue went numb and the sobs stopped. The only things that kept going were my breathing, my heart, and the tears. I’ve spent enough time here, I thought to myself. It’s after dark, and it’s been a long day. I walked down the stairs and opened the door, making sure the squeak lasted in the night. He made me happy with everything he did. This was the best I could do to honor him.

“I’ll lock up,” Twilight offered quietly. Her horn glowed once more, and the chains locked the door tight. “Let’s get you home.” She said, beginning to walk towards my house. I stared at the Cupcake Castle for a couple seconds more, then began to follow after her. The sound of our trotting echoed down the dark street.

“Goodbye Percy. I’ll see you soon.” I whispered to myself as I walked away from the corner where the bakery stood. The last tear finally rolled out of my eye.

My Wife

Was that... Screaming? That seems odd. There’s rarely crime or anything bad in Canterlot. What, or who, could be screaming? And about what? It seemed to be getting closer too. Hmmmm.... It’s an oddly cute scream. Wait, can a scream be cute? I’ve no idea. What the...?

The next moment was filled with pain from impact, letters flying through the air, and an adorable gray pony standing up next to me.

“Oh my gosh, i’m so sorry. I just don’t know what went wrong.” The mare said slowly. That voice... That was a truly adorable voice.

“No worries,” I spoke quietly with a grunt as I stood up. “Are you okay?” I asked, worried the mare was hurt. I finally got a chance to take a look at her. She was beautiful, blonde mane contrasted by her grey coat and a couple of small bubbles marking her flank. It was a... well a cute cutie mark, as redundant as that seems.

“Yeah, i’m fine!” She said enthusiastically. I began to pick up the letters for the pegasus. “Are you okay?” She asked. I couldn’t help but smile at her voice.

“Mffesmeffeneamaff.” I said through a mouth full of letters. I dropped them in a small pile next to where she was gathering the others. “Sorry, i’m fine as well, thank you. What’s your name?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t blushing. I felt a little warm, so I certainly wasn’t confident about that.

“My name’s Derpy Hooves and i’m a mail-pegasus!” She told me excitedly. I looked into her eyes and felt myself blushing. They were a beautiful gold color. “You’re looking a little red, are you okay? Did you get sunburned?” She asked, sounding worried. This only made me blush more of course, and I began to stumble on my words.

“Umm... N-no i’m ok-kay. Th-thank you for ask-king...” I stumbled, my voice getting caught in my throat. “I’m j-just... uhh... y-yeah...” I couldn’t finish my sentence, redness spreading around my face. She finished picking up the letters and putting them into her saddlebag.

“Oh, well that’s good! I have to go, for some reason one of my letters went to the wrong pony. I need to go find it! I just don’t know what went wrong.” She finished, sounding somewhat sad. “I didn’t get your name mister.’

“O-oh, m-my name is F-Frying Caes-sar.” I said, still stumbling on words, feeling rather stupid.

“F-frying Caes-sar? That’s a weird name. Well, i’ll see you later Caes-sar!” She flew off as quickly as she had arrived, leaning a bit to the right and looking unstable. I hope she doesn’t crash I thought to myself. I really should try to see her again. Hopefully i’ll get some mail soon.

Sleep wasn’t easy. It came in fits. Dreams filled with my past, the people I knew. There were many about Percy. The time we entered the dessert competition. The time when we sabotaged the Grand Galloping Gala with hot sauce snacks. Princess Celestia actually really liked it. I’d never seen her eat so much cake. It reminded me of some old pictures Scootaloo showed me from her days as a Cutie Mark Crusader. It was the funniest newspaper i’d ever seen. Scootaloo. There were dreams about her too. She was a riot. I dreamt about the time she tried to jump over the Cupcake Castle. Percy was none too happy about the pegasus shaped hole in his roof, and the scooter shape beneath it didn’t help either. So many good memories. It was too bad that they didn’t last. Soon enough the sun was rising, and the light shown through my window. Celestia, why couldn’t you let Luna hold the night a little longer. A knock at my door provoked me to get up.

“Can I come in?” A familiar voice asked. Twilight. She had slept on the couch, making sure that I stayed in the house all night. She’d even locked my door from the outside. The window had never opened either. The point was that I couldn’t escape, and it seemed the entire city was making sure of that.

“Yeah, come in.” I said half-heartedly, wanting some contact with another pony. There was a quiet whirring sound, and the door opened.

“Hey you.” She said, sounding rather sad herself. She looked at me with worried eyes and turned towards the window, looking towards the rising sun. “What do you want to do today?” She asked, as if we were on vacation visiting different tourist spots. I looked down at the floor, wishing everything was different.

“I want to visit my wife. Well... Ex now...” A tear formed in my eye as I thought about it. She left me once she’d heard what happened. It was the only known divorce in Equestria in the past 150 years. The tear left my eye as I started to walk towards the door. It fell, almost in slow motion, towards the hardwood floor. By the time it hit I was out of the room, wanting to be gone from the now lonely house. The front door glowed purple and opened before me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled to Twilight. I wanted to say more, but the words weren’t coming to me and I just didn’t have the motivation. We walked outside and started walking.

The library was close to my new home, so I was able to head there quickly. My shift at the restaurant didn’t start for a couple more hours so I decided to head over to the library to see Twilight. It was weird. I had a crush on Twilight and Derpy. Twilight was beautiful, smart, and fun. Derpy was just... I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what, but I just seemed to like everything about her. It was still odd in any case. Anyways, I got to the library quickly and went inside. It was eerily quiet, like a crypt. I wandered around, looking for a librarian's desk or any other sign of Twilight.

“Who.” The word echoed in the silence. I searched around, looking for the creator of the noise. “Who.” Another soft sound echoing in the silence. I began to panic. It was too dark for me to see yet, my eyes were still unadjusted to the dim light of the library. I began to trot away from what seemed to be the source of the sound, hoping to find Twilight soon.

“Who.”

I began to run.

“Who.”

What was that?!?

“Who.”

Who was that?!?!?

“Who.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!” I screamed as I tripped over my own hooves. I fell forward a good seven or eight feet, rollin to a stop. A flash of purple light blinded me, and a voice cut through the sudden silence.

“Did Owlowicious scare you too? I swear, he does that to everyone.” The voice said. As my vision returned I saw that it was Twilight standing over me. A light flapping noise is the only other sign of life in the area besides the two of us.

“Who’s Owlowicious?” I asked, trying to figure out who or what scared me so badly. A small owl answered my questions, as it flew out of the darkness and onto Twilight’s back. “Oh. That’s who. Hello Twilight.”

“Yes, this is Owlowicious, and hello Caesar. How’re you?” She asked, looking very innocent, yet trying to hide some giggles. I finally stood up and looked at her, eye to eye. Her horn glowed softly, basking her in a purple light that can only be described as beautiful.

“I’m... Uh.... Good.” I said slowly, busy observing her in the bath of violet aurora. I felt myself turn red once more, but felt I was safe. Red’s close enough to purple, right?

We quickly got to the house, Twilight ran ahead of me to make sure people were home. I caught up after a bit, enjoying the area. It reminded me of home. Once I got to the house, I saw Twilight outside, the door slightly open. She nodded to me, signaling to come inside. I let out a deep sigh, pushing back the tears that were bound to start flowing. I walked inside, the door creaking slightly as my flank pushed it open. It was a well lit little home, cozy and warm. I liked it here. I heard hooves coming down the small hall on the left. The mare rounded the corner, and looked up at me with sad, golden eyes, still glossy from tears.

“Hello Caesar.” She said softly, slowly and deliberately. I could hear the tears in her voice. She still looked just as beautiful as she did when I married her three years ago.

“Hello Derpy.” I replied. “I love you.” I added softly, feeling my heart crumble ever so slightly more.

Visiting Derpy, Departing Sanity

We found our way to the librarian’s desk, Twilight’s horn lighting our way. Seeing as it was only my first time in the library, I was still lost. The library was chilly, and I found myself shivering, teeth knocking together in the silence. She didn’t say much, it seemed like she even got lost in here sometimes. After a short while we reached a desk of stone. A small purple dragon with a top hat over its face was leaning back against the wall in a wooden chair.

“Spiiiiike!” Twilight shouted, seeming very annoyed with the small reptile. He fell out of his chair, top hat flying through the air. I couldn’t help but let out a giggle. He scrambled up into a standing position, almost cowering before Twilight. From what i’d heard of her power, his fear was well placed.

“I-i’m so sorry Twilight!! I didn’t realize you’d be back so soon!” He shouted his apology, filling the empty library with noise for a few seconds. He looked down at his feet, not looking entirely ashamed of his actions. Was he bluffing? Making crocodile tears?

“Spike, you know that’s not the problem. I told you to watch the counter while I was finding Caesar here. You shouldn’t sleep on the job.” She scolded him harshly, a cold cutting through her voice that I hadn’t heard before. He cowered more then seemed genuinely upset.

“Gee Twilight i’m sorry,” He said, a frown consuming his face. “I just didn’t get much sleep last night. I was alphabetizing your personal collection again and it took longer than I expected.”

“It’s ok Spike, just don’t let it happen again.” She said, voice filling with kindness again, all traces of cold gone. Owlowicious silently flew over to the top of the desk, high above where we were. “Anyways, Spike, this is Frying Caesar. He just moved in a little ways away.”

“Hello there Fry,” Spike said politely, holding out a clawed hand to shake.

“Hi Spike,” I said back, feeling a little awkward as he grabbed my hoof and shook vigorously. The hooveshake was thankfully short, and the conversation continued for a while, getting to know one another and discussing some things about Canterlot. As it turned out, the restaurant where I would be working was right next to the castle. I invited Spike and Twilight to come over once i’d become acclimated to my job and departed quickly, finding my way out of the labyrinthian library much faster than i’d gotten in.  I couldn’t wait to see Twilight again. Or Derpy for that matter. I opted not to think about it too much, knowing i’d confuse myself and become frustrated. This wasn’t going to be an easy week. I could feel it in my chest.

“I missed you.” She said, in an almost silent voice, almost just mouthing the words. She wasn’t mad, but disappointment and sadness seeped through her voice, poison in my fragile heart. I could see her eyes were beginning to water once more, and I knew mine were going to start any minute now. I loved this mare. “I... I just...” Her voice began to crack and she was beginning to break. The tears began to flow like water from a broken dam, and she collapsed to the floor. The tears that had been building in my eyes flooded forth and I went to her, nuzzling her neck softly. When she looked up, I kissed her softly, the same way I did on our first date, so long ago. She stared up at me, golden eyes staring into my heart, even when full of tears.

“I’m sorry.” I said, barely able to speak the words as they left my lips, sobs and cracks distorting them. I could see the sadness in her eyes. It was deep rooted and immovable. I knew I could not convince her I was innocent in that moment.

“I just don’t... Don’t know what went wrong with you Caesar,” She said, equally challenged in her speech by her own sobs. She was torn. “I loved you Caesar.”

That sentence rang clearly in my ears, the past tense crisp and clear, even through the crying and sniffling and sobs and weeps. ‘Loved.’ Doesn’t love... She doesn’t love me anymore...

“I’ll leave now...” I said, voice rapidly fading in my throat. “Tell the kids I love them and that i’ll always be looking down on them.” My voice was barely audible, yet it cut through the noise. Derpy’s crying slowed and stopped. She understood what I was getting at. “Goodbye Derpy.” I said for the last time, and began working my way to the door. I heard her whisper goodbye beneath her breath. I went outside and heard the door click behind me. My tears were at monsoon levels and there was no stopping them now.

I wanted to run, I felt panic rise in my chest. Things were falling apart around me. The sun was turning black and cracking, the buildings were crumbling to ash. This was wrong. So very wrong. What was happening? Why?!? I saw a dark figure walking towards me, a hood over its face. The castle began to collapse in on itself. The dark pony got closer and closer. It was so close I could smell it. It... smelled of... bakery? The hood fell back and it was... Percy?!?! This was all wrong!!! No, something had to be fake here. This was a dream right?!? But, shouldn’t I wake up if it’s a dream??? I looked down at my hooves and saw a fissure grow beneath my hooves. I looked up at Percy. His neck still had the rope burns on it.

“Why did you do it Percy?!?” I screamed, my voice hoarse and dry. My eyes shut and when I opened them, Percy was no longer there, but was replaced by Derpy. “No-no-no-no-no-No-NO!!! This is all wrong!!!!” The rope burns were on her neck now!!! What was happening?!? I looked up and saw the sun coming down on us, blackened with its cracks and fire. NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NOOOO!!!!!

Twilight was standing above me, tears streaming down her face and worry filling her eyes.

“Oh thank Celestia you’re awake! Once you got outside you closed your eyes and started screaming about fire and destruction. You even mentioned Percy and his... suicide.” Her voice filled with sadness and my eyes filled with tears again. “You started galloping off with no regard to what was in your way. You almost ran through three fruit stands. I found you in this alley after about half an hour. That was almost an hour ago. I couldn’t move you and I couldn’t leave you. You have no idea how glad I am that you’re awake.” She spoke quickly, panic fading from her voice but adrenaline and fear still rising.

“Thank you,” I managed to mumble quietly. “Can we just go home for today?” I asked. “I want to eat then go to sleep. Tomorrow’s my last full day...” Saying that filled me with dread. The same dread that filled me when Derpy... I couldn’t even think it. For so long I loved her. Since our fifth date as a matter of fact. Now that was gone. Forever.

“I have a delivery for one Shining Armor,” a beautiful voice said behind my door. It sounded familiar, albeit muffled by the redwood door. I doubt it’s her. I thought to myself. She’s a mail pegasus. She could be anywhere. I trotted over to the door and opened it, instinctively looking down.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t Shining Armo....”I looked up and a pair of golden eyes met mine, blonde hair complimenting them softly. IT WAS HER!!! I gave myself I tiny mental hug, feeling the warmth spread through me.

“Hello?” She asked, knocking on my head. “Wait, you’re not Shining Armor! Darnit!” She said loudly. She seemed too cute sometimes. “Do you know where Shining Armor lives?” She asked innocently, only adding to her cuteness level.

“Umm... Yeah... I do.” I said, completely entranced with her. Note to self; don’t tell her that thought. “Do you want me to walk you over there?” I asked, feeling a blush warm my face. No! Bad body, work for me here!

“Sure!” She shouted with glee. I locked up my house and we began walking.

“So,” I felt the need to ask. “What exactly happened that you should end up at my house as opposed to Shining Armors’?” I felt a bit rude saying it, especially when a frown grew on her face to show her disappointment in herself.

“I just don’t know what went wrong.” She said in a melancholy tone. “Wait, you’re the pony I crashed into!” Her eyes lit up and her whole body seemed to emanate happiness.

“Haha yes, yes I am. It’s very nice to see you again.” I said with a smile. I didn’t let her know that I might have a teensy weensy little crush on her, but I felt like actually doing something about it for once. “Umm, if you wouldn’t mind, would you want to grab some muffins or something from the Cupcake Castle when we’re done delivering the package?” I asked, feeling my heart flutter with nervousness. She looked back at me curiously, then sniffed the air around me.

“You don’t smell too bad, so sure!” She said enthusiastically. “But, we have to have a muffin eating contest! Loser has to pay!” She seemed to shout, as if challenging the world to a muffin eating contest.

“Sounds great to me,” I said, a stupid smile filling my face. I can imagine this is what Percy felt like when he threw a great big party! We walked along quickly, chatting softly in the crowded streets. A couple of times we had to take detours, but we got to Shining Armors’ house quickly. After the quick delivery, we were off to the Cupcake Castle!

Relationships

Cupcake Castle was the first of many "dates" with Derpy. The dates weren't quite as a couple, but not quite as friends. I could tell over time that she was warming up to me, but was still hesitant to let me get close to her. It was not until the 4th date that I was finally able to give her a warm nuzzle goodbye. Her hair had been soft and windblown, as usual, and it smelled of flowers and the spring breeze. It was a light scent, that didn't cloud the snout or fill it unpleasantly. It was a scent i'll never forget. It soon became a regular occurrence, but never lost its effect, always leaving me breathless and smiling. A short while after our first nuzzle, I invited her to go to see a concert with me. The Red Hot Chili Ponies were in town, and i'd gotten some tickets from Percy. He claimed he didn't need them, but I knew he wanted to go with me. I promised to make it up to him. The stage was set and we arrived early, ready to see my favorite band in all of Equestria.

The first notes seemed to seep into the dusk, light fading as the notes grew. I knew this song right away, the initial chords striking a place within me i'd long forgotten.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't have anypony. Sometimes I feel like, my only friend, is the city I live in. The city of alicorns. Lonely as I am, together we cry." A chord followed the last word, echoing into the distance. I smiled, having mouthed along to the words the entire time. I looked at Derpy and saw her smiled mimicked mine. I scooted closer, enjoying the warmth. "I trot through the streets cuz, she's my companion, I gallop the hills cuz, she knows who I am. She sees my good deeds and, she raises the sun, well I never worry; that is a lie."

"I love this part," she whispered to me, the drums slowly coming in. The chorus broke out, accompanies by an explosion of rainbow over the stage. The effect was truly amazing to watch; Music and rainbow dancing and exploding in time. When the initial boom happened, I jumped about three feet straight into the air, and the ones after shook me to my core. It was a beautiful song with a beautiful visual show and a beautiful pony. It was a truly perfect night.

When the concert ended, I walked her home. Well, I walked along side her as she flew. I could see she was getting tired, gradually drooping closer and closer to the ground. I strafed until I was underneath her, and when she finally fell asleep, she landed on my back with a thud. I quickly re-balanced and continued walking towards her small home near the castle. Her head was near my ear and I could hear her soft breathing, her presence warm and comforting on my back. We finally got to her house, and I nuzzled her awake.

"You're home." I whispered to her softly. "Why don't you head inside and go to sleep?" She looked up and looked around wearily, getting off of my back slowly.

"Come in with me." She said. I quickly turned bright red, confused and disoriented at her words.

"Wha-what? Bu-bu-bu-but..." My voice fell out and I looked around, mouth agape. She walked up to the door and unlocked it, walking inside. She left the door wide open, a clear invitation to me. I looked around once more, empty streets providing no answers and rustling of leaves giving me no insight. Finally I caved and walked inside after her, shutting the door behind me.

It was a small house, clearly only meant for a single occupant. It did however have a cozy feel, and felt more open than it really was. There was a small kitchen and dining room combined. To one side was a restroom door, slightly ajar but unoccupied, and to the other was a hall leading to the back.

"Hello?" I asked, slightly worried something had happened. I looked in the restroom just to make sure. A small mumble told me she was in the back. I walked to the back and pushed the door open lightly.

"C'mere." She said tiredly. "Come and cuddle with me." She turned slightly red, and looked oh-so cute. She was slightly tangled up in the blankets on the bed, and her head was hanging upside-down off the bed, looking up at me with that nervous little smile that melts my heart. The only really good word to describe the whole scene was D'awww. Nothing else could satisfactorily do it. I mindlessly walked over and crawled up onto the bed, her coming up after me. I squirmed under the blankets next to her and scooted close. She looked over at me and smiled, then put her head down on the pillow. In that moment she could have asked me to gallop off of a cliff and I would have. Lucky for me, she didn't. I followed suit and put my head down after her. Before I closed my eyes and went to sleep I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and smiled. I saw her turn even more red, then I was asleep.

This was it. The last day of my life. I got up. Walked to the window.

"Why do you mock me with the beauty of sunrise Celestia? Why?" I say to the window and bed, figuring they care about as much as everyone else. Time starts to lose its purpose to me. Slow. Fast. It becomes hard to say how it's passing. People rush about me blurs of color and splashes of conversations. Some yell at me, some say nothing, some just tell me goodbye. A few stood out, clear among the insanity. Twilight; her lack of words, yet so powerful and perfectly chosen, made the numbness inside of me leave for a while, replaced with guilt and fear. Derpy; Saying nothing, just looking down, crying. Scootaloo; Talking to me about Percy and how much she missed him, her husband. Finally the guards came for me. Twilight came along as well, walking behind me in silence. The castle stood over me once more, foreboding and dark, holding within my imminent death. Soon we were deep inside, and a single stone door stood in our path. It was not grand, it was not terrible, it did not even appear foreboding. It was just a door. I laughed quietly to myself.

"What was that?" The guard said, turning towards me quickly.

"Just a laugh sir."

"Well why'd you laugh?"

"It's just funny. My death is imminent, waiting just behind that door, and the door... It's just so anti-climactic." At that, he grunted and lead me in. It was a medium sized, round room. Few lights. Just a small dip in the floor and some glass around it. The guard lead me over to the dip, and the glass lowered enough for me to get in. It raised back up slowly, just high enough for me to not be able to get out. Everyone took a step back.  Celestia walked in and walked up to the glass.

"Caesar." She said with a nod.

"Your highness." I responded.

"Any last words?" She asked. Time seemed to slow down, almost to a stop. Did I have any last words? This is what i'll be remembered by. What do I say? Something meaningful? Sorry? No. I didn't do it? No-one would believe me. It's too late for that. Ummm... Gotta hurry... Time was going back to normal... Just... Say something dammit!

"No." As I said it I felt a weight lift off my chest, but it was light. The door creaked and Luna walked in, staying in the back. Seems like all the most important ponies in Equestria were here. Celestia's horn began to glow, I could feel my fur tingle as the glow spread over me. She squinted in concentration, beginning to look angry. I looked around the room one last time, drinking in the last thing i'd ever see. Twilight in tears, the guards' stern faces, Celestia's intense look, Lunas green eyes.

Wait.

No... That's wrong. That's very wrong. I could feel myself begin to pull away, body beginning to separate. Luna doesn't have green eyes. She must be...

"Luna is a..." My words were gone, the vacuum of space sucking the oxygen from my lungs as I teleported. Darkness closed in quickly. 'Changeling,' I mouthed to myself before the black filled my vision and mind.

Time Heals Most Wounds

Tears like a monsoon, moans like an earthquake. Twilight would have torn the bounds of time and space asunder had it not been against Celestia's will. It felt like a part of her was missing; a hole seemed to have formed in her chest. At first she it was still too hard to believe. She stood there, in the room of judgement, staring at the slightly blackened splotch where Caesar had stood just moments before. Hours she stood there. Celestia and Luna came and went, guards checked on her occasionally. She finally collapsed, and that's when the tears started. She wept for another hour in the same crumpled heap upon the floor then guards came and took her home, assisting her with their wings. When she got home, the tears had stopped -temporarily- and she made her way up to her room. She wasn't entirely sure of the time. It was dark, and the moon wasn't in sight, but that didn't help. It could be early or late into the night. She didn't think, didn't ponder, didn't plot. She just stared into the night. The stars shifted and the moon gradually came into view. It seemed so cold, so lifeless. The tears returned once more, blurring her sight and paralyzing her. Eventually sleep came. No nightmares plagued her, no dreams cleared her thoughts. Just a cold darkness. The morning came more quickly than she would have liked, the numbness of sleep was nice.

She got up and looked around. Her pillow was a grimy, tear-stained mess, but everything else was in order. She walked to the bathroom and washed up, fighting back tears. Every little thought of Caesar assaulted her mental barrier, pushing her towards snapping. It wouldn't last long, and eventually she resorted to magic. A quick spell to stop tears did the trick nicely, although she was prone to silent sobs from time to time. She walked to the library, avoiding the Cupcake Castle and Caesars house along the way. She didn't want to break down, she had work to do.

The library was quiet. An eery, empty silence. A choked sob would echo for minutes among the shelves. Spike had taken the day off. He was taking Rarity on another date. She didn't understand how that little dragon managed to get four dates with Rarity, and the fifth was every bit as shocking as the previous. Nevertheless, Pinkie Sense couldn't be explained, this couldn't either. She suddenly felt so lonely. The only person in a vast library, no one to hold her, no one to console her on her loss, no one to go home to. The emptiness in her chest grew, until it was the shape of a full-grown stallion. The shape of a certain stallion now gone to the world. She loved him. She really did with all of her heart. But he wasn't hers. She felt herself slipping, and she stopped all thinking. She mindlessly continued shelving the books, ignoring the tears that were streaming down her face. The spell wasn't strong enough to keep back her heart. She worked and worked and worked. The tears eventually stopped. She went home. The cycle repeated. Days, weeks, months. Eventually a year had passed. Her loss had faded, but it never disappeared. She still felt the pain, the hole in her chest. She finally felt the need to do something.

"Is it ready?"  The voice of a young colt asked in the silence. It belonged to Caesars son. He came to me, asking to see his father. Explaining wasn't easy. Derpy had only ever told him that he was away. That he wouldn't be coming back for a long time. He was crushed. But, this was over six months ago. He was finally ready. I was finally ready.

"Yes, it is." I responded quietly in the damp night. My horn glowed purple, the spells to give us oxygen were up, the barrier to keep it in was in place, the warmth was already coursing through us. "Let's go."

"Alright Twilight." He closed his eyes and squinted, unsure of what to expect. This was a longer teleportation than i'd ever done, but I was confident. I took a deep breath in then let the spell take over. Space bent around us, time slowed to a nigh-stop, and then, we were on the moon.

The Moon

Silence. The term alone does not do the silence of the vacuum justice. No air meant that sound couldn't travel. The only oxygen for millions of miles came from the bubble that surrounded Percy and I. Desolate and cold, the moon was a far worse punishment than anyone before had noticed. We began our walk, not wanting to talk. I already felt choked up, knowing somewhere here there would be a dead friend, a dead love. Tears attacked the back of my eyes, trying to push forward. A soft cough was all I let out.

"You okay Twi?" Percy looked up, a concerned look on his face. His face that so perfectly mimicked his fathers.

"I'm fine," I said meekly. I couldn't bear to look at him. We continued our previous silence, walking around in search of Caesar. After a while we came to the lip of a crater. I looked down, hoping he was not there. He wasn't, thankfully, but something was definitely odd. It almost appeared that there was a door, and a small mound on the far side. "Come on Percy."

The door was there, cold and foreboding. I walked up and lightly nudged the door. Slowly it swung open. Light splashed out, singing our eyes. I stepped inside, heart beginning to race. I wanted to gallop away. This wasn't natural. The moon is a place of death.The door slammed behind us, echoing into the unknown depths before us.

"No no No NO NO NO NO!" I slammed my back hooves into the door repeatedly, yet it would not budge. The echoes faded into the distance, but silence did not come. The sound of hooves clopped closer and closer. "Get behind me Percy," I said, preparing for the worst. A soft shadow began to approach from the hall ahead of us, growing closer and more clear with each step. The cowl covering the strangers face fell backwards, and before us was Luna.

"Twilight Sparkle? Is that you?" She asked, looking confused and scared.

"Yes, yes it is Princess Luna? Is everything ok?" This was not right. She should know who I am. We saved her from Nightmare Moon. Why didn't she recognize me?

"Are you sure? Hmm... What did the Elements of Harmony look like when you were fighting Nightmare Moon?" She asked, panic creeping through her voice.

"They were stone objects that changed into jewelry after we found the spark of friendship. Why?"

"Good, you're not her! She trapped me here, come to me in many forms to interrogate me, to crack me. But I haven't talked. I've done well." She spewed, words slurring together and becoming muffled as she embraced me. I pushed her away quickly.

"What are you babbling about Princess?!? Are you okay? Have you been drinking AJ's 'Special Cider'??" This was so unlike her. She never hugs people, and certainly doesn't talk in such an informal manner.

"What do you mean? Certainly you know about the Changeling and how i've been trapped here?!?" She began to sound panicked again. A changeling? Again? That seemed unlikely. Shining Armor and Cadences spell should have sent them to the ends of the planet, far outside of Equestria.

"Princess, there are no more Changelings, they were all cast to the other side of the planet by Armor and Cadence."

"That's where you're wrong!" She scolded me, glaring at me with angry eyes. "Chrysalis and her Changelings were just the scouting force. The main army, it approaches soon. I've seen it. In this building there are many things, many strange rooms. It is much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside. The corridors stretch on for miles, and there are many doors that can not be opened. Much like the one you came in. This is how she trapped me. Magic does not work in here and the doors are one way." I stared, silent, mouth agape.

"So, what you're saying, is that we're trapped?!?" I questioned furiously. "How will we survive? What about Percy?? And Derpy??? And what about Caesar?!? We came here to finally give him a burial!!!" I began to pace furiously, kicking a couple vases to try and calm down. It did help, but not enough. Percy began to cry, and my temporary rage was brought to an abrupt halt.

"Wait, you speak of Percy and Derpy? And Caesar?? Frying Caesar???"

"Yes, yes I do," I said, nuzzling Percy to stop the crying.

"You must come with me. Quickly. I do not know how much more time we have. Much time has passed." She said, and began to trot off towards the corridor ahead of us.

"Come on Percy," I said, pulling him onto my back. "Let's see what she wants to show us."

The corridors were wide, wide enough for us all to walk in a straight line across it, but it still felt cramped, closed. We trotted along, turning ever couple of hallways to change course. After what felt like hours we arrived at a small door, barely large enough for a stallion to fit through. It was made of a light wood, soft in appearance. I placed a hoof on it to try and open it and it didn't budge. There was a small box above the door with numbers. It was counting down.

"Oh good, we got here before the numbers hit zero. I've no idea what happens when they do, but it probably isn't good." Luna told us, staring at the numbers. "We should step back. There is little time left." The numbers counted down still, not getting faster or slower. 3:28, 3:27, 3:26, 3:25, 3:24, 3:23, 3:22. A quiet note left the box of lights, then another. It was playing a song. The notes continued to play, growing louder and louder. A voice spoke out of the box quietly.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't have anypony..." Then it hit me. This was his favorite song. Of all time. A single tear broke through my mental barriers. Then another, and another. I turned and walked away from the tiny singing box. It kept playing. The walls seemed to fall down, the floor felt non-existent. I felt like I was floating, floating through space with Caesar. I opened my eyes. The corridors were still there. The floor still supported me.

"I don't ever wanna feeeeel, like I did that day; take me to the place I love, take me all the way!" The song began to fade. The time counted down to zero. A faint click sounded off, and the door began to open. Steam hissing quietly. Air flooded the room, and light made it glow softly. We stepped inside, the fog covering our hooves.

"A voice came from this room from time to time. Whispering things to me. Names. Percy, Derpy, Twilight. It started a year ago." Luna spoke softly, knowing how hard this was for me. The tears streamed down my face as I looked towards the figure before me. I heard Percy break down, begin to sob and weep and croak his anguish. It sounded muffled. I walked forward more. Here he was. Look of terror upon his face. The fear in his eyes. All perfectly preserved. Here he was. We'd found Caesar.