Full of Emptiness

The cold harsh wind traveled east following the scarred landscape along what, from above, appeared to be but a discoloured fissure in the already monotone scenes that hosted it. It was one of the only features that currently existed around me as I sat in silence on the side of a mountain and stayed deathly quiet in testimony to the conditions I was in. The ground I rested upon was grey and hard, provided that of an uneven platform jutting out from the almost vertical cliff face, climbing into the grey rain clouds. The air was dry and barely contained any trace of history, so fresh there was little to no evidence of anything it could have touched.

It moved along with the wind, blustering and unforgiving. It blew along the valley and danced a bland movement to a silent tune that played in disturbing harmony with the quiet. It swirled around the platform I sat upon and lifted every hair on my body in an itching twirl that made me want to bend around and scratch the irritation. But nothing much of any small matters concerned me anymore, as they had no purpose, no reason to be anything other than just another feeling in my lonely body. A body which was itself coated grey both naturally and metaphorically with the sadness of loss. My mane was of a brown/orange that provided an outline against the single shade soup of grey and black that surrounded it. The hairs were the only colour to grace the nothing they lived in, and sometimes I wondered if they would always continue to be.

I had never been so alone as I was then, shrouded in an invisible cloak of a calm emotion: like some sort of dull contentiousness. For some reason, even though I was the loneliest being on the earth, the only being on the earth, I felt at peace with myself. It must have been that there was nothing to conflict my sadness, nothing to contend with the overpowering sense of emptiness that engulfed my brain. For there was nothing at all, both in mind and in body. I used to have a life, friends, family, a lover. But after that day I was gifted with an unholy present: loneliness.

Just thinking about them, all of those I used to know made the nothingness shudder under it's own weight. The sheer amount of tragic emptiness cast a heavy weight upon my mind only served to pull me down into the cold fires of death. Ironic then that I was still breathing and very much alive, but inside I was nothing more than a thoughtless husk. No reason to exist other than to stain the terrifying work of art with the paint of life. I was a blemish on a solid grey that stretched as far as the mortal eye could observe, and still I sat staring, looking for detail where there was none. Searching for nothing in-particular.

Where my vision watched used to be the location on which a town called Ponyville stood proud and elegant with the beautiful landscape around it. But now just the concept of such a thing was almost an act of treason against reality, as the only thing that resided in the valley was a vast expanse of grey. To the untrained eye it would appear to be a a dull pastel painting of some stone world, filled with nothing but the air that allowed the one living thing to exist. It was almost a punishment, and I felt I had been served justice for my actions on that day. And this is what I had been rewarded with. All I used to know was somewhere else now, only existing within the deepest recesses of my memory.

Slowly it came back to me, fading in painfully slow to bring it's twisted glory to the fore front of my mind. With it, a sudden feeling of anxiety flushed over me. At first I remembered laughter, the sweet sounds of foals having 'fun', the time of their lives. The virtual sound confused me as surely, there could not have been happiness at the heart off all the nothing. Somewhere inside of me, I knew exactly where it's relevance originated but again, the overwhelming dankness of my mind discarded any importance all cause could have. So my empty mind threw the memory away and it died down so that the grey could consume me yet again. I stared off into the distance, the curvature of the world made the land which resided so, so far away dip down behind itself. Although it was hiding nothing, because there was nothing to hide.

I however held a dark action, a work of atrocious proportion that had put me in this position. The only thing keeping me in the dark was one thing, but it was so utterly malicious that it had brought him to the most awful of consequences. What he had been tempted into had shocked ponies near and far, nobles to farmers and foals alike all heard of my dealings. I knew good ponies that would all be degraded simply by knowing that I was the pony to commit to these actions, that had caused even the sun to dim due to my horrific crimes. And simply averting my gaze up and into the sky was enough to provide the proof.

The sun was not visible past the blanket of grey that molded over the sky like a gag, suffocating the life from the space beyond. Leaving nothing left above me but a single dead highlight. Grey. No matter where I looked it was all that remained. It seemed like blasphemy to suggest that there was any other colour at all amongst the cobble valley. It made a wall of a single material that extended far beyond the realms of my understanding, coding into my brain a solid absence of emotion to fit the occasion.

I was nothing now. I lived in nothing and I belong nowhere for there was nowhere to belong. I would never be able to shake that occasional tinge of anxiety. Nor would I ever be able to leave what I had created for myself, for I was trapped here, in my own personal purgatory. I finally looked down to the ground at my hooves, and there I shed empty tears to mark the place that would forever hold what was left of me. A small portrait of a family: Two foals and their parents, one of which had features that mirrored my own. The droplets of water soaked into the page and I started to feel a weakness in my hollow heart that must have followed me there, to my prison. For what happened to both them and myself was nothing but my own doing, and in hell I would always reside now. So be warned, all those who would seek to taint the passage of their families love.

For this, my fate, is the ending that awaits all of you. So before you plunge that blade deep into the heart of such innocent creatures,  please spare a thought for me would you? Trapped here inside the cage of emptiness created by my resentment. Because now the deed is done, I can only cry upon the lives that once loved me more than anything else. Nobody will never love me again. And I would do anything to get that love back. But no matter how hard I try, these four walls will be my home from here on until the end. When my spirit is lifted from Equestria and the real torment begins, ponies everywhere will cry out in sorrow and remember the day that my tragedy was unleashed to the world.

                                                                          I walk out to the block and I await my final judgement.