The blurrple Saga

by Nozzivik

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Romance, Tragedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 1024

The greatest story ever told

In this epic tale of love and adventure, we find out about the real meaning of life, and TITANIC

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-07 05:12:35 UTC

The Epic Beginnning

one day a GAY fucking monkeycat was swinging his dick in the trees making all the crack cocaine, in his anus, when spike the dragon came up then a giant dildo rocket ship covered in spikes for maximum pleasure, designed by the late great Karl Sagan came up and blew up all over new york, shit was cray-cray, but then SUPERMAN SHOWED UP AND PUNCHED MITT ROMNEY IN THE DICK THE DICK THEN FLEW THREW THE PLANET AND KILLED OSAMA BIN LADEN, (legal pause while the band plays “God Bless America”) seal team six then showed up in that bitch going “OH hell naw niggaz” then they all died by shoving pickle jars up their ass which then exploded into stars, because we are all stars or some shit. Which really cut into their pickle jar fucking time, I mean how the fuck do stars buy pickles anyway? My science teacher BUTTHOLE SPARKLE said i was special when he touched me and he said he loved me,on that night I truly found the answer to the question what is love, but then the popo showed up with micheal browns corpse and sodomized it with a 1992 ford pinto bean, the blood of micheal brown filled the sea’s of equestria with the semen blood of jesus PONY. (#STOPPONY2012) then twilight sparkle said wtf and ded. then Celestia flew down from Canterlot and punched the Supermans face off with her god powers, and applejack was like “Dayum son where’d you find this” so celestia ate her head, and horse vagina.

From that horse vagina sprang a tiny little tard named Wheatavix. Wheatavix was not a strong man, nor a smart man, or funny honestly he was just a shit. But he was a shit with a dream, to become the most popular Idol in all of Equestria. But the sad little tard was not talented enough to write a song or sexay enough to flash his vagina. This left him no choice but to upload episodes of My Little Karaoke. After episode 1,258,152,789 Wheatavix swooped in and became hero man, with hard cock substitue, and save day for everyone. He looked at twilight sparkle intensly, and a shiver was felt down the spine of every pony in pony land. A light earth shattering orgasms was felt by rainbowdash specifically from the power of the fedora.

But all was not well in my little karaokeland- twilight sparkle got burned by sunlight. She came rainbows instead of shadow cum like normal, which concerned her greatly.

Rainbow cum flowed forth with the intensity of a thousand white hot suns. Green felt as though bio slime was steadily dripping from her hot wet cunt. Yellow like that stupid whore’s AppleJack. And of course we all know what the grand color of Blurple feels like, Blurple you fucking nigger. GOD. DAYUM. BLURPLE.

His anus twinkled with excitement, and his small dicklike muscles became big like popeye on fucking crack coqaine. His pectorals trembled; his pinky finger moved slightly, as if it were imitating an erect penis in place of his actual penis which exploded the first time he watched MLP.

The dick explosion caused his weak mind to break down and he turned into the evil tardman WeetavixSidePhil./ Then the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, sitting in their treehouse and MASTURBATING, saw the evil deeds done by by WEETAVIKSIDEPHIL, making pony fighter 4 videos and destroying the lives of all he touched,/ and decided they must SUPER SEX MADNESS NIPPLE PIERCING POWER TIME to achieve the dark force of the NIGGER SEX, by the light of the moon.Specifically Moon-Moon. Goddammit, Moon-Moon. But it turns out that Moon-Moon was actually LUNA, THE MOON GODDESS OF NIPPLE PIERCINs’. And discount hair. Black women from all around loved her for they could afford to get thur her derd and make they nigga happy with metal all up in they titties. Cuz you know he already be bitchin cuz she got dem nigga babies all over the goddamn PONY KINGDOM. FUCK WOMAN. USE THE TRASHCAN.Then LUNA THE MOON GODDESS OF NIPPlE PIERCINs’, Turned on the Cutie Mark Crusaders and had the AMAZING SEXAY TIMES with WeetavikSidePhil. The pain of such a betrayel caused them all to have PERIODS Making them no longer children, thats right sex with WeetavikSidePhil is so terrible and disgusting that it make girls into menopause causing them to not only get their PERIOD, BUT SHIT. OUT. SEMEN. The semen reined eternal. There was no end- the bloody semen flowed for thirty days and thirty nights. It washed away the sins of the ponys and made them super sluts. APPLEDOUGH THE WHOLE DAMN SHOW SHINJI IKARI showed up and cried like the little BITCH ASS NIGGA he was and DDT The hell out of LUNA QUEEN OF THE BLACKS. Shinji then pulled the stick out of his ass, sniffed it, decided he was a cunt, and became man like KAMINA.

And then everyone stopped for a snack break. Freshly baked apple pussy for AppleJack, semen for rainbowdash, semen for fluttershy, semen for luna, SHIT FOR WHEATAVIX, the pure essence of manhood for kamina, souls of the unborn for derpy, and beautiful black dicks for rarity. There were numbers of black people gathered round with their watermelons guffawing, white muthafuckas eating goddamn sushi and whippin’ the blackies, puerto ricans and all fuckin’ latin americans looking the same, and then asia bein’ a stupid goddamn semen sucking bitch. That’s right. Asia LaFonduh, the blackest woman of them all. There were no asians involved in this buffoonery.

From the four corners of Canterlot flew Derpy carrying the majestic Owen Hart and manly Kamina to the great nipple battle of 2014. Nipples were flying through the air at dangerous velocities, like a sexy sexy bullet hell. Dodging through the hail of tits Derpy went full fucking retard and sent Owen Hart tumbling towards the ground. In his last moments a beautiful thought formed “Missile drop kick time bitches”, the drop kicks force hit the nips WheetavikSidePhil sphard that he went from sausages to bee stings. That shit was Over The Edge.

LeEPIC NIPPLLE FIN.