I'm African-American, so what? Anyone can watch a show full of colorful ponies. It's the funnest shit ever. Living in a house hold full of selfish fucks who argue every week like its their job. Not the funnest shit ever. Here's the thing, I hate where I live. Colorado? Fucking cold in winters, cold in summer, wet in fall, and ultra cold in spring. This is the most bipolar weather in the universe. I curse a'lot, and can't hold my 'Kiddie' alcohol past 4 shots. I get "OMFG U WETCH MAI LITTYR PENIES? U NUB LITTL FEGIT LOL." Every time I mention a pony to a friend or family member. So in general.
I hate life period, and I'm starting to hate myself.
Age 17. So I can't even get "real" alcohol which instantly makes my life shit. Tasted that stuff once, the heaven gates opened and the angels sang as wine well from the sky. Better then getting stoned. Which I don't do.
What? How black do you think I am? Racist.
As you probably already figured, I'm a Brony. I watch the show 'My little Pony'. It's the only thing that brings some comfort in my life. That, and League of Legends, Doctor who, my dog, and my girlfriend. Now enough about that because what I'm about's to tell you is going to make you forget all a.bout my terrible life. Because in a quick flash, it instantly goes, from terrible, to bad. Which is an improvement.
Another boring day. I thought as I wake up staring up at my poster plastered on the ceiling crudely. It was a picture of a cat hanging off of a tree meme saying. ("This cat isn't hanging off the tree. The tree is hanging on to it.")Best quote ever, Chuck Norris approves. I lazily roll off my bed and slam into the floor. Man I miss the days when I was 13. Weightlessly slamming into to grounds and not taking any damage from it. Now I'm 110 pounds. This life. I grab some everyday clothes to put on and grab my lotion, my towel, my shampoo, and walk into my bathroom. I have my own house, I'm almost 18 so it's only normal. It's a comfy 2 story 3 bedroom house. One bedroom for storage, one bedroom for my recording and animating stuff, and the other is my man cave. I'm a really organised person.
I place my folded clothes on the counter side and strip throwing my clothes into a black basket in the corner of my bathroom. and hop into the shower. The warm water felt nice. A feeling I could never get in my house with my parents. Those fuck arguing constantly. And when they don't, commanding me around like a little servant. Now I know how spike feels.
How would you like to go somewhere else? A place more... Peaceful.
"Bitch please no place on earth is peaceful. Except for my shower and my girlfriends bed, even though that place gets epic super quickly. Giggty.", I responded to the voice in my head. Wait...What? "Whodafuqareyou?"
I'm You, friend.
And I'm the other you!
"So subconscious?"
In a away. How would you like to go to a place of your likening? A place anywhere in the Omniverse? A place where mythology and other things come together in joyousness harmony.
*Giggle* HINT HINT!
"Yea I get what your hinting at. But how the fuq is that even possible?", I questioned."That shouldn't be possible. Wait, Omniverse?"
You're existence isn't possible. So if you could go to such a place what creature would you be?
A BUTTERFLY PRINCESS!
Ignoring the second voice I respond"A human or a dragon. Fuck being a pony that shits too complicated. I've seen the brony theory's." I say as I start washing up my body.
With the seed done.
And the worlds collide.
As for your wish.
We must oblige.
"Kewl rhyme bro. Let's drop the mix tape, my recording stuff is downstairs." I say sarcastically. But my eyes began to blur as a blinding light occurred and my mind shutdown. My shower was empty and the water was lonely running. "Why the fuck did you talk to me in the shower you creep?" Was my last words I can remember.
Three Words... Ritto Please Nerf
My vision slowly came back to me in a very fade in like way. I saw a face staring at me very panicky like, but the blur in my vision was still far to great to catch any real sight.
"Oh please, oh please don't be dead." Said a very feminine voice. It's sounded very slurred though. Her voice though was far from a 6 inch voice like they showed me in 3rd grade. My head was pounding and she wasn't making it any better.
"Where am I?" I asked in a raspy kind of way. Jesus I'm thirsty.
"The Everfree. I might of, sort of got startled when I saw you and smashed a flower pot on your head." She said in a guilty way but adding a *squee* towards the end of her sentence.
"I realized." I said as I started to rub my forehead and found dirt on it."That wasn't rude of you at all." I say getting up to a criss cross position. The dirt slowly falling off me. My eyes slowly came back into it's 576 megapixels and my hearing was at peek condition. A little to good of a condition. Like, I think I hear a leaf fall... Weird.
"Once again sorry. I don't really get the chance to meet dragons. They're usually mean, maybe even worse than griffins." She said. Wait did she just call me a dragon? I look at my arm.... It has scales. I look at my potential assassin... SHE was a pony...Loading Complete. WhatTheFuckMode Activated.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? HOLY SHIT I'M A DRAGON, AND YOU'RE A PONY! HOLYFUCKINGSHEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIT" I shouted out. She jumped back abit, before giggling at the end of my "moment".
"I don't usually hear otherponies swear, but when I do. I find little humor in it. I didn't know dragon hanged around the Everfree though... Strange.
"Have you guessed that I'm not from the EveryD, or what ever you call it, since I had to ask where am I?" I said trying to get her to realize the obvious.
"Yes I guess you c-" She said but was cut off by a weird growling noise. A steady beep was imitating from the pony."The repellent!" She said as if realizing the obvious. She reached into her back pack made for ponies. She grabbed a spray can, I'm guessing it's a repellent but had a little clock taped to it. It was a timer.
"Okay, okay don't panic. Everything is going to be fine. "
"I'm not panicing...", I told her.
"I SAID STOP PANICKING! I WILL GET US OUT OF THIS! If I knew magic..." She shouted at me.
"I have wings..."
"Alrighty. We're going to flank it. You're strong aren't you? Yes? Great, so use that fancy sword of yours and i'll take the left."
"Are you even listening?", I was starting to great real tired of this for it got old quickly. 3 to 4 growls rolled up and best comes to worse it was 5. 5 ugly creatures that looked like it shouldn't even exist.
THOMAS DID IT! He summoned a bunch of Jabber-woks to kill you!
"Who said that?", Said the pony's name I never got
"Some dudes voice in my head. I remember some things. But they attempted to give me amnesia. Some of it worked some of it didn't." I said adding venom at the end of my sentence."Wait, how do you hear my head?"
Damnit. You always forget the smallest details. Hey Jabber-Wok at 12 o'clock
"Wait, what sword? Where is it!", I said starting to panic. So sad that the last image I was going to see was this
"Right under you!" Shouted Pony girl.
"Got it!", I say looking down at the floor. A bright shiny sword. Blue in the middle of the blade and yellow on the outlining. The hilt had a blue gem in it. And locked sick as fuck. "Okay, First you smash a flower pot over my head. Then I save you? GUUURL~ you is going to owe me big time."
"Okay, okay! And the name's Roseluck. But when you're-", She was cut off by a loud yell from Thomas.
PULSE! JABBER-WOK!
I held the sword in a tight grasp before lunging forward. Thrusting the sword deep into it's torso. It reeled back in pain, before letting out a hideous cry. 3 more lunged at me in attempt to overwhelm me. But despite never using a sword before, their efforts was futile. With a spin on the heel of my foot. I swiftly cut all 3 of them in a row. Merely slicing their chests. They wasn't bleeding blood. Something green and sticky. My sword was dripping said goop that they was emitting and began to steam. My sword didn't melt or anything like the goop was supposed to do I guess.
"That's all you got bitches? And I've never even used a sword before!", After hearing this. They went into a rage. I'm guessing they have emotion, and is pissed they're getting their asses kicked by a nub. All 3 I've successful cut in the past came raging toward me with one thing clear.
They wants me so dead.
THOUGH THEY AINT' GOING TO GET IT! I DON't GIVE A FUCK IF IT'S CHRISTMAS! LOWER CASE t FOR DA WIN! I swing my sword with the same intent. To make sure i get out alive. And they get out dead. I slash though one of them like paper disconnecting everything from under it's stomach. It's green goop splashed everywhere. Killing any life(plant) it touched. Its intestines hanged lazily as it's body fell to the floor motionlessly.
"Ew, it looks like the inside of a human. How can something that ugly actually make sense?", I throw up in my mouth a little before swinging at the next J-W(What I'm going to start calling Jabber-Woks. It's head came off clean and its body hit the ground without any sound. Oh shit that rhymed. And I'm breaking the fourth wall. I dash to the third one and did some really fucking cool shit. Blasted the fuck to bits with electricity.
Not wasting any time to make a badass pun. I sprint to the final one standing.(The one from early must of died from shock. Because it hasn't got up since.) I don't know how to use electricity but dis bitch is going down. I feel built up energy in my hands and close my eyes.
"LIGHTING SHOCK!", I scream releasing the built up energy. It filled up the J-W to quickly for it even to react. Before it exploded it said something.
"Young Warrior. Stop prolonging the inevitable. Darkness will come to this peaceful land. And chaos, far beyond Discord can ever produce will reign upon the land. And the children will know death. The old will know death. And the young will know suffering and pain. The river of blood will be created of the non. And the "Fallen" will rain fire on the planet.
Till then. Keep giving yourself false hope. And keep telling the weak you'll protect them. Because it's going to be over quickly. Repeat the exact same things to your rulers.", He said in a deep grim voice. He shot out a beam of light into my eyes. And me thinking it was a trap card I pop the bitch. His(or it's. It sounded like a guy) flew everywhere. Making it rain green glop. I turned to Roseluck who just looked at shock. She stared at me before fainting. She hit the ground slowly.
"Fuck. Report riot. Nerf me please.", I giggled to my self before looking up at the sky. It stopped raining goop and started raining water. I smiled before falling asleep my self. Dropping my sword and hitting the ground.
