Throwing the Daleks a party
"Scuse me, cowboy." Time turner begged. "You wouldn't happen to know where a big blue box went whoosh would ya?"
Time Turner (a time lord in a ponies' body) muttered out stress lined speech as he asked a random stallion off the streets of Ponyville for help. Time Turner was a pony with a dark brown mane and tail, a light brown coat, and an hourglass for a cutie mark. He was of average build for an adult stallion.
This stallion he talked to looked skinny and lightweight. With a black western hat perched on his head, and a black cloak that laid suspended on his back with the buttons connecting to the front of the bottom of his neck. He showed an aura of seriousness that would shush a regular pony.
"That depends. You got something for me," he replied with a deep voice that sounded like it could scare anything.
Time Turner replied happily, "Jolly good, I can spare a few bits. You wouldn't happen to know where we can get an ATM? What with all you ponies and your magic certainly you've made some technological advances. Then again it might be possible that money isn't that important, Perhaps-"
"Hold it there partner"-the stranger put a hoof on Time Turner's chest-"You've got some serious anxiety. Your hearts beating faster then a train. And I know what can help you."
Time turner made a face of slight confusion. "Uh can I have some space?" he moved away "Anyway we need to get the T.A.R.D.I.S. back It's a large blue box an-"
"When a stallion in the middle of the road goes up to you like he has fleas screaming for a blue box. That only means one thing."
"That he probab-" Time turner paused mid-sentence,"Wait. Fleas? Do ponies get fleas? I mean sure I have a coat. And it's not like I'm totally changed. Human brains are better then pony's brains because of their balanced neuron count, and the bipedal body has the greatest advantage because of the simple weight and..... wait we need to get my box! Thing. Ugh I forgot what it originally looked like. It was silver an-"
"Listen partner I don't know what kind of disorder you're playing with. But I know its dangerous to your party related lifestyle. Let's go and have some fondue while we listen to karaoke. Or maybe we can play pin the tail on the pony."
After gulping at the sound of surgery, Time Turner was being pushed along the rural streets of Ponyville, and ended up in front of a bakery called 'Sugar Cube Corner'.
Being pushed inside he was met by a bouncing pink pony with a mane and tail like pink bubblegum cotton candy, and a hot-pink coat. She smiled greatly like a child on Hearths Warming Eve, and when she bounced there was a springing sound.
She alarmed the Time Lord because she spoke faster then him, "Wowzers! Someone who needs a party! Come on what's your face, and what's your face. I mean Chhhheeese. Let's party!" she cheered while putting emphasis on the 'h' and 'e'.
"Wait a second!" Time Turner cried out loudly. "Don't you realize what kind of trouble we're all in, pink creature?"
"You silly billy. I'm Pinkie Pie. And that handsome stallion behind you is Cheese Sandwich, he's a party planner too. Anyway, you were saying?"
"Well you see the Daleks have stripped the TARDIS of its power and will now use the time vortex to cause total universal destruction. Can you hear their rage filled voices? The unstoppable force of their armies! Not even my former time children could stop them now if they tried. It's the end of the universe!"
"Don't worry silly wobbly billy. I'm sure we can leave the mayor to clean everything up from your nerd fair," the pink pony assured.
Time Turner made an annoyed face and blinked.
Felling like it was time, Cheese Sandwich pushed Time Turner further in, and closed the door behind them. He stepped around the paranoid pony and took his black hat and coat off. Reviling a light chocolate-brown colored curly mane along with a curly brown tail. He had a yellow vest on, and his cutie mark showed a grilled cheese sandwich being pulled apart, reveling the melted yellow goo.
The stallion walked towards Pinkie, and they shared a "high hoof". The two then started a sort of rhythm with repeating hoof claps over and over until they abandoned the clapping all together, and started a happy jig. Like two young school ponies playing patty cake.
Unamused, Time Turner shook the door behind him franticly but found it to be locked tight. He produced a pen like object that he had his inside of his mane. Pointed it towards the door, and was about to press the button small button placed on the back end of it. When it was immediately snatched away by Pinkie Pie.
"Silly timey billy," she started, "If you want to party. Don't worry about dumb things like pens." She tossed it lightly to the Cheese Sandwich. Whom hid it inside of his chocolate like mane.
Time Turner growled at the two ponies and began to bang on the door for help. While this wasn't technically an illegal act by the two ponies. It was stopping the salvation of the world. Surely he could justify property damage.
Without warning, the screechy sound of an accordion rang through the room. Time Turner covered his ears and started to bang the side of his head on the door. Releasing a crashing pain through his entire body with every hit, it felt like nothing compared to what he was forced to listen to. He didn't like accordion music.
"Help! They're keeping me hostage!" he cried out in between bangs, the sound of his voice was overlapped by aforementioned instrument. He didn't know who was playing it.
"Pinke Pie. I think this guy needs some 'help'," the yellow stallion suggested to his friend. His voice shifted from the perviously serious tone. And now sounded like he was going through voice-cracks while being happy.
Time Turner turned to face his kidnappers when he heard Cheese insult him, and then noticed that the skinny pony was the one playing the accordion. He stood like a biped as he danced. While also simultaneously pulling the accordion's ends away from each other.
Time Turner rubbed his eyes, and blinked. These two are insane. Maybe if I act like them. Then they'll listen to my logic. He thought to himself.
"Yee-ha! Your music is finer then grandma's toenails after she lost her nail clipper, I'll do a happy jig!" he cried in a southern stereotype accent, and imitated the dance his captors had done minutes ago.
Cheese stopped his accordion playing, glanced at Pinkie, and whispered, "I think this fella got out from Celestia's 'funny house' just like the others."
Pinkie replied in a whisper as well, "Don't worry. As long as he doesn't cause delicious chocolate milk rain to come bursting from the heavens. Then he's good in my book." She said while holding a book with her tail that was labeled 'My Book' on the cover.
Time Turner's left eye twitched as he heard another insult come from their mouths. He stomped on the floor, pointed at the two ponies, and shouted, "This is ridiculous! Give me back my Screwdriver. Let me open this door. And we'll stop the Daleks together. I'm certain they'll blow up when they hear your music. Allons-y!"
He gave a powerful backwards against the door in attempt to slam it open. Though instead of breaking it he only sent a quick jolt through his back hooves. He cringed as the sensation swam through him like piranhas biting the vines inside of him. Though the pain went quickly.
"That's it! Cheese, I know how we can help this poor fella. Let's give him the best therapy we know.
What a relief. We can leave. Then once we're out I'll escape, and stop the Daleks. He mentally sighed.
"Let's shoot him out of the party cannon!"
"Wait what?" Time Turner asked.
"Great idea!-Cheese said elatedly while ignoring the brown stallion's question-We'll shove him in, send him flying, and throw the Daaaaleks a party afterwards."
"No no. You don't put emphasis on the 'aaaaa' part," Time Turner replied,"You've got to put emphasis on the 'D', and say the rest very quickly. If you don't, it sounds like you're imitating them."
"I am imitating them. That's how they sound."
"Wait I just told you tha-"
"Enough of pronunciation school, boys. Roll out the party cannon!" Pinkie interrupted.
The rest just went so quickly; Pinkie Pie ran into another room and from there came crashing sounds including a boom and a crack. Meanwhile, Cheese Sandwich began to equip his "cannonball" with the needed equipment. One of which was a slime-line suit painted banana yellow, and a cyan blue helmet that strapped together with velcro on Time Turner's head.
Pinkie Pie came rolling down the stairs with a light blue cannon attached pinke wheels. Surprisingly she and the cannon were unharmed. Though Time Turner cringed when the pink pony landed on the ground and only the sound of a rubber duck being squished vibrated through the room.
Without a word Time Turner slowly came up to the machine. He knew it was unsafe, he knew it was primitive technology, and he knew he would get hurt. But, the two ponies didn't really hurt him yet. Sure his back hooves had red blisters now, and sure the side of his head felt like it had been hit by a cinder block several times. But, it was him that he had done all of that.
Maybe Cheese was right. Maybe he was a little crazy. He had beaten the Daleks before. He was gonna be fine. With a trusting smile, he walked over to the two earth ponies who he considered abnormally smart fellows.
"I want you two to stay in here. If I come back, throw me a party. I want hourglass shaped ballons all over this town, and everyone HAS to wear a tie. If anyone wears nothing then kick them out. If they wear bow-ties.... launch them into space," he declared. Though he felt disappointed that he a lacked soap box to stand on.
Cheese muttered under his breath, "Told you he's from the the funny house."
Pinkie stepped on Cheese Sandwich's foot, and then began to say, "Wait wait wait. We're not really going through with this are we? It was a joke. You know, ba dum-crash?"
Time Turner smirked, "Of course we are going through with it. Let's get moving, horses. We gotta stop the Daleks!"
"Mood swings. Self pain. Crazy logic. Odd objects in his hair. Pinkie, this stallion has to be crazy!"
"Beg your pardon?" Time Turner asked. He thought they were just mocking him before, but what if it wasn't mocking?
Feeling worried he began to walk towards the nearby stairs.
"Grab him! Take him to princess Twilight! She'll use magic to reform him! Then Ponyville will be safe from this psycho." Pinkie ordered.
Without having done much at all. The two party ponies tackled Time Turner to the ground and immobilized him with brute force. He had no willpower to fight back as he was being carried through the streets by the two ponies.
But what shocked him the most was that there were no Daleks to be seen. No nothing. Just ponies going through their normal lives. Had he turned into a crazy person who belonged in the fun house? Did he deserve to be tied up so he would hurt no one?
He didn't have time to think when he arrived in front of a large crystal tree with a castle built on top of it. He only gulped as he wondered what they would do to him.
Please no lobotomy. Please no lobotomy. And please don't pin a tail on me.
To be continued
