Author's Note
What have I done. This has to be the worst thing I've ever written. Please leave your brain here and read the trash I've written.
The burrito.
Pinkie Pie’s burrito accident
by EvilRat
Pinkie stared at the plate in front of her. Upon it was the fruit of weeks of hard work. The finest beans from Mexicolt. Hot sauce made from the finest peppers from Saddle Arabia. A flour tortilla hoof crafted by her from the finest wheat Golden Harvest had to offer. Wrapped into the finest burrito ever made by pony kind. She moaned slightly as the sniffed the product of her hard work. This was truly going to be the best day ever.
She gently lifted the glorious burrito in her hooves, admiring it. She inspected every inch of it, looking for defects. As she hoped, she found none. It was perfectly wrapped, and the perfect size for her plans. She licked her lips, a slight sheen gracing her lips. It was perfect in every way. Her whole body tingled in anticipation. With a huge smile the lowered the burrito, pressing it against her other set of lips. The warmth of the freshly cooked burrito warmed her nether for more reasons than the heat of it. She pushed it harder, the end of it slipping slowly into her. She moaned and pushed it harder, inch by inch as it slid in. Once it was almost all the way in, there was a crash down the hall in the twin’s room. In her startlement, she pushed it fully into her. She ran her hooves over her slit, trying to grab the end of the errant burrito, but only managed to make the situation worse. Panicking, she tried to figure out what to do. Then it hit her, her friends could help. She rocketed out of Sugarcube Corner, bolting for her nearest friend Rarity.
Rarity was busy with her latest dress. It was very complicated to enchant the gems she was using to give the visual effects she desired. Suddenly, her front door flew off of it’s hinges. A pink blur flew in, headed straight for her. She ducked, sure some new enemy was about to strike her down. Then the pink blur solidified into her friend Pinkie. Suddenly Pinkie blurted out “RarityyouhavetohelpmeIhaveaburritostuckinmypussy!” Rarity looked perplexed, trying to understand what her pink friend had said. Then it dawned on her, filling her with disgust.
“Pinkie, did you say you have a burrito stuck in your... privates?” Rarity asked hesitantly.
“Yes! Please help!” Pinkie pleaded, turning around and lifting her tail to show the confused unicorn.
“Pinkie please, have some restraint. Showing yourself to me like this is unseemly.”
“But Rarity, if I don’t get it out, how can I have lunch?” Pinkie was nearly begging her friend.
Even though Rarity had gotten over the initial shock, she was still hesitant about looking at her friend’s rear like this. This wasn’t something normal mares do with each other.
Sure, she loved her friend Rainbow Dash even if she was unabashedly a lesbian, but she was personally against the idea. Still, she did feel a need to help a friend in need. She tentatively inspected Pinkie’s slit and found the burrito was firmly lodged in her. “Maybe I can use my knitting needles to grasp it and pull it out.”
When she heard the word needles she was apprehensive, but the reassured herself that Rarity wouldn’t hurt her. As Rarity levitated the needles, she was very careful not to poke her friends sensitive flesh. She manouvered them to try to grasp the burrito, but she sensation on Pinkie’s pussy caused her to squirm. She ended up only pushing it in deeper, making matters worse. Her panic deepening, Pinkie shot away from Rarity screaming. “You’re making it worse!” she yelled has the ran out of Carousel Boutique. Once she came to her already limited senses, she decided to try Fluttershy next. Maybe one of her animals had paws small enough to reach in and pull it out.
Fluttershy had just finished feeding her animal friends when a gust of pink wind nearly blew her off her hooves. She cowered behind her mane, hoping whatever it was would ignore her. She peeked out and found herself muzzle to muzzle with a hyper-panicked Pinkie. She could tell something was very wrong with her, so she drew up all of her courage and asked “Pinkie, is something wrong?”
“Something is very wrong. I was pleasuring myself with a delicious burrito and I accidently pushed it in too far! Do you think one of your animals can reach in and pull it out?”
Fluttershy tried to understand what her friend asked her, and was totally lost. “I’m not sure what you're asking for.”
Pinkie explained again “There is a burrito in my cunt and I need help getting it out!”
All of a sudden, Fluttershy understood. She didn’t want to judge her friend, she had done some odd things with Angel Bunny before so she wasn’t on a moral high ground herself. But she also didn’t want to subject her animal friends to something like this. It was a hard decision, but she decided to give it a try. “Angel, can you help Pinkie?” The bunny looked indignant, but climbed out of Fluttershy’s mane and hopped around Pinkie. He knew how to use his paws on a mare quite well from his bedroom adventures with Fluttershy, but he was unsure how to go about getting something like this out of a mares pussy. He climbed up Pinkie’s leg and shoved his paw into her, feeling around for his target. He had trouble due to the pink mare’s giggling and squirming. “It tickles!” she exclaimed as Angel twisted his leg around, feeling for the end of the burrito, but every time he found it it slipped deeper into her. Soon his short leg couldn’t reach it anymore. He shrugged, hopping down and going back to his resting place.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can help you Pinkie.” Fluttershy said sadly. She hated not being able to help, but if Angel couldn’t do it, she had no idea which of her other animal friends could help. She also decided to invite Barry the bear over later to help her with another problem of her own.
“Thanks anyway, I guess I’ll see if Applejack can help.” With that, she ran off in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.
As Applejack bucked her latest tree, she perked her head up and listened. A strange screaming was carried by the warm summer air, and it seemed to be getting louder. She looked around, suddenly spotting a pink dot racing around her farm. She instantly knew who it was. “I’m over here Pinkie!” she yelled. Suddenly the pink mare looked right at her and bolted in her direction. All the running and several orgasams had begun to tire her out. When she reached Applejack, she was panting heavily.
“You have to help me, there’s a burrito stuck in me.” Pinkie gasped out.
Applejack scratched her ear. “What did you say sugarcube?”
“I said there’s a burrito stuck in me.”
Now Applejack was sure she wasn’t hearing her pink friend correctly. But just to be sure, she asked “Stuck in you where?”
“In my naughty place.” she replied. Pinkie knew her orange friend was a bit of a prude sexualy, even if the gossip around town said her and her brother were doing it like wild rabbits. But she still wanted to be respectful to her friend, so she decided to a bit more discreet than she had been before.
“And what do you want me to do about it?” Applejack replied roughly in her shock. She knew her friend did strange things, but this was way more than she ever considered her to be capable of.
“Help me get it out!” Pinkie replied, completely oblivious to her friend and cousin’s discomfort.
Applejack was stunned. For a moment, she just stood there frozen. Then when she had processed what was happening, she considered the matter. She was in no way interested in seeing or touching Pinkie’s vagina, but she was the most dependable pony in town. She made her decision, telling Pinkie “Follow me to the barn and I’ll see if I can help.”
Pinkie lit up instantly, grabbing her friend in a tight hug. “I knew you’d help!” She released her and followed her to the barn.
Once the two had entered the barn, Applejack closed the doors but failed to lock them as well. She mustered up her courage and said “Ok, lets have a look.” Pinkie turned around and lifted her tail, exposing herself to Applejack.
Applejack leaned in and looked. “Yeah, it’s stuck in there pretty good.” She then used a hoof to spread Pinkie’s labia and squinted. “I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to help ya Pinkie.”
Big Macintosh was helping put away bushels of apples. He approached the barn and started hearing voices in it, but couldn’t make out what was being said. He cracked open the door slightly and peeked in, trying to figure out what was going on. What he saw shocked him so badly he dropped his sprig of wheat. Was his sister having sex with one of her friends? He decided quickly to get far away from what was happening.
Oblivious to her brother’s observation, Applejack backed away from Pinkie’s slit. “I’m sorry cuz, but there isn’t anything I can do. But I’m sure Twi can get that thing out of you.” Pinkie was depressed, she didn’t want to waste a Princesses time with her problem, but she was getting more and more desperate to have this whole mess over with.
“Thanks Applejack, guess that’s my only option now.” She lowered her head and trotted out of the barn, headed for Twilight’s castle.
As Pinkie briskly trotted through town, she orgasamed again. It wasn’t as pleasurable as it could have been because of her depressed state. Suddenly, a rainbow blur crashed into her. As she stood up she saw her friend Rainbow Dash laying next to her. She was hesitant about asking Dash for help, knowing about her many late night meetings with other mares in town. As Dash came to, she rose to her hooves. “Sorry Pinks, that trick of mine went really wrong. What’s up with you?” Finally noticing the look on her pink friends face, she added “Is something wrong?”
Not wanting to be the latest victim of her friends molesting nature, she hesitated before realizing that this might be her last chance to get the burrito out in time. She mustered up her courage and told her “I have something stuck in me and nopony can figure out how to get it out.”
Rainbow was confused. She had never seen her friend like this. Maybe this was her chance. “You know I’m always willing to help a mare in need. What’s stuck and where is it stuck?”
Mumbling slightly, Pinkie answered. “I have a burrito stuck in my pussy.”
Dash perked up. “Sure, I can definitely help with that. Let’s go to your bedroom and I’ll have a look!” ‘And hopefully a few licks as well’ she thought.
As they walked back to Sugarcube Corner, Dash kept taking peeks at Pinkie’s rear, trying to get a good look at her cunt. By the time they arrived, she almost couldn’t fit through the door, her wings were so stiff. She had dreamed of finally getting her friend and pranking buddy in bed almost since meeting her. And this little burrito accident was her golden opportunity. As the bedroom door shut, Rainbow was almost floating in anticipation. “Now, let me get a look at it, I’m sure I can get it out.”
Scared slightly, Pinkie complied with her friend’s wishes. she shifted her tail and kneeled down, keeping her rump in the air to give Dash a good look at her problem.
Rainbow stared longingly at her friends slightly swollen pussy. All of her dreams about her pink friend were finally coming true. “I think I can reach it with my tongue, let me give it a try.”
“O-ok D-dashy.” She was scared. More scared than she had ever been. She just gave an open invitation to the most well known lesbian in Equestria to molest her. She prayed to Celestia and Luna and even Tirek that she wouldn’t be mentally scarred by this.
“I’m going in!” Dash exclaimed as she raced up to her friend’s exposed rump. She had one chance to do this right and she had no intention of wasting it. She licked her friends slit, suckling on her clit slightly.
“Um, Dashy, aren’t you supposed to have your tongue in me, not licking around it?” Pinkie asked, shivering under her rainbow maned friends sexual assault.
“Uh...” Dash tried to come up with an excuse, “I’m trying to help you get lubed up so it comes out easier.” she lied.
She knew it, Dash was molesting her. She had to think fast before this got out of hoof. She darted away from Rainbow and yelped out “I’mgonnagoseeifTwilightcanhelp!” Then she ran out of Sugarcube Corner as fast as she could, headed for her Princess friend’s castle.
Dash stood there dejected. Her dreams shattered, she needed comfort. And she knew just the mare to trick into helping her. “I wonder what Derpy is up to...”
Twilight was happy. A new shipment of books from the Canterlot royal archives had arrived earlier, and Spike was out helping the Crusaders with their latest attempt at cutie marks. A peaceful day of reading books lay ahead of her when suddenly her door was assaulted by the hooves of her friend Pinkie. As she trotted over to open the door, it flew open and a blur raced over to her. She instantly put a shield spell over herself but it was too late. Two pink hooves grabbed her and held her face still. “What’s going on!?”
“I have a huge problem and you’re the only one left that can help me Twilight!” Pinkie yelled, her purple friend wincing due to their proximity.
“Ow, please don’t yell in my ear like that!” Twilight exclaimed, trying to back away. Her ears were ringing from the sudden loud noise. “Now, what’s the problem?”
“Ok, I was playing with my food this morning and it got stuck.” Pinkie told her, lowering her volume only slightly. She was in full panic mode and worried Rainbow might have followed her.
“Ok, I’ll need more details than that.” Twilight knew her friend was strange, but this was a bit much even for her.
Rather than tell her friend, Pinkie turned around and flung her tail up. Twilight stumbled back, definitely not expecting to see her friend’s pink taco today. “Pinkie, what in Tartarus do you think you’re doing!?”
“Showing you what’s wrong. I have a burrito stuck in there.” Pinkie calmly explained.
“What... why... just... WHAT!?” Twilight shouted. This was beyond anything she ever heard. “What kind of mare even does something like that?”
“I like to play with my food, what’s wrong with that?” Pinkie asked innocently, not understanding.
“Playing with your food is one thing, but this is much worse.” Twilight explained, then sighed. “I’ll help you, but you have to promise you’ll never do something like this ever again. Pinkie promise.”
Pinkie sighed. If it meant ending this, she guessed she could do it. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Twilight sighed again. “Let me try to teleport it out.” With that, she focused her magic and teleported the burrito, or so she thought. When she opened her eyes, Pinkie was standing on her table. “What?” She tried again, only to teleport Pinkie whole across the room. “I don’t understand, that should have worked.”
“It was kinda big...” Pinkie admitted.
“It must be so large that my magic can’t differentiate it from you.” Twilight said. “I’m not sure what else I can do if that’s the case. But I’m sure that it will come out on it’s own in time.”
“I guess, but what am I going to do until then?”
“Try to keep your tail down and tell nopony about it.” Twilight advised.
At that moment, all of the movement and her own fluids finally caused a small tear in the tortilla. And in the spot the tear formed there was a particularly spicy pocket of the hot sauce. When the capsaicin in the sauce made contact with the overly stimulated sensitive flesh inside of Pinkie, it started a very intense burning sensation. She screamed out “Sweet Celestia and Luna’s ethereal pubic hair, it hurts!” With a loud grunt, she squeezed all the muscles in her lower abdomen, trying to force it out. Fortunately, a pocket of air had been trapped behind the burrito. When she started the powerful contraction, the pressure of air forced the burrito out, shooting across the room. A sound much like a fart followed it out as well.
Spike had been having fun helping the Crusaders out, but knowing about the shipment of books he thought he better check up on Twilight, lest she get obsessive. As he opened the castle door, something strange happened. He was hit in the face with a burrito, followed by the sound of a fart. Unable to see what was going on, he reached his tongue out and quickly pulled the burrito into his mouth, chomping down on it and chewing it. After he swallowed, he asked “Why did you hit me with a burrito, and why does it taste like cotton candy?” Pinkie just giggled and bounced out the door behind him.
