All's Well That Ends Well
All's Well That Ends Well
Mid word a torrent of water fell on my head; followed by a bucket.
“Rainbow Dash, that’s not funny!” I yelled at the heavens. There was a distinct lack of laughing rainbow maned pegasus in the air however; instead Pinkie Pie gambled over, the dozen or so buckets on her back sloping water all over.
“Sorry, Twilight!” she exclaimed, skidding to a stop next to me. I didn’t manage to get out of the way of the second wave of water, and once again I was soaked through. So much for the day ‘shimmering’ and ‘shining’. Dripping and complaining seemed to be on the table instead.
“Oh, and I interrupted your song!” Pinkie wailed, as I rubbed the water out of my eyes. “Well don’t worry, I’ll have you dry in ten seconds flat.”
“I--”
Pinkie exploded into motion, accelerating into a pink blur as she raced around me. Before I could even squeeze another word out I was swept up by the tempest; blown and buffeted by the miniature tornado. A strange sense of deja vu, or possibly nausea overtook me, before I was hurled out of the maelstrom and hit the ground, hard.
“There we go,” Pinkie chirped, rushing over and dragging me to my hooves. “And sorry, sorry, sorry for interrupting your song. Oh! I can make it up to you. Quick, pick an animal, a number and a dance.”
I blinked. Pinkie was vibrating with barely constrained energy, which meant either somepony had a birthday today or she’d broken into the Cake’s coffee supply again. Either way, it was best to just answer.
“Um, three toed sloth, seven, and the waltz,” I said, still trying to wrap my head around the situation. “Pinkie what--”
“No time! I’ve got to get more buckets from the reservoir before I miss my slot!” Pinkie shot off, leaving a pink contrail behind her as she snaked her way through the crowd.
I blinked and shook myself, for a moment there I’d thought I’d seen Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark on her flank, but I must have been mistaken. Sighing, I cast a long mastered spell to shake the rest of the water from my coat and de-fluff my mane.
“Right then, now where was I? Oh, right!” I took a deep breath and sang, “--that everything is certainly, fine!”
Bon Bon gave me a funny look as she trotted past.
Ponyville has such double standards when it comes to singing.
Grumbling to myself, I made my way to the market. Beyond the occasional pink blur as the overcaffeinated party pony raced back and forth through town, it was a wonderful day in Ponyville. The streets were bustling, a cheery smile greeted me at ever turn, and I even spotted a familiar stetson bobbing along over the heads of the crowd.
“Hey, Applejack!” I hurried over to the farm-pony who was--
I froze next to Applejack, as if I’d just been struck between the eyes.
“Howdy Twi,” she called, beaming.
It was not unusual to see Applejack in town walking Winona, however, far from the familiar, hard worn dyed lead, she had a pink ribbon in her teeth. The very angry Angel bunny the ribbon was attached to was unexpected, and I had the distinct feeling that if I ever mentioned this again I would live to regret it. All of that was overshadowed though, by the utter impossibility of the three butterflies embossed on Applejack’s flank.
“I, I, I, I,” I stammered.
“You okay there sugarcube?” Applejack continued, dragging the rabbit along with her as she put a hoof on my shoulder. “You look like ya’ seen a ghost.”
“Your cutie mark!” I wailed, dropping into my haunches. Nice work there Twilight, real calm and collected.
Applejack leaned around and peered at her flank. “Shoot, you had me worried for a moment there, Twi,” she said, shaking her head. “Look’s fine to me.”
“But, but,” I stammered. “That’s not right.”
“Hmm? One, two, three butterflies. Seems like it’s right to me.” She gave me a concerned look. “You sure you’re okay? You look jumpier than a grasshopper runnin’ from a lawn mower.”
I felt my ear twitch. “But that’s Fluttershy’s cutie mark,” I pressed, jabbing my hoof at the offending butterflies. “You have three apples as a cutie mark!”
“Oh shoot Twi, you’ve gone and mixed things up.” She shook her head. “No, ah’ve had this ever since ah was a filly. Hay, ah left home just so ah didn’t get an apple buckin’ cutie mark. Now t’be fair ah didn’t see me caring for animals when ah packed for Manehatten, ah don’t regret it.”
“Fluttershy has an applebucking cutie mark?” I said, stunned. Somehow picking out the least relevant piece of information.
“Well, ah wouldn’t say ‘bucking’, girl don’t really have the flanks for it--” she dropped into a conspiratorial whisper. “-- not that you’d ever hear Big Mac complaining about them.” I blushed scarlet. “Still, she has a way with the trees. Ah’d never have thunk it to look at her, but ah ain’t one to judge. If it’s the call of her cutie, that’s alright by me.”
She shook her head, this was a nightmare. It had to be. Cutie marks changing made no sense. “But ah’ve told you all this before, what’s the matter Twi?”
For a moment I stared at her, brain working a mile a minute. I needed a lie to lose Applejack so I could, A) panic and B) figure out what in the name of Celestia was going on. “Umm...” I began, then inspiration struck. “I hit myself with a mild amnesia charm!” I announced, with far too much enthusiasm.
Applejack’s eyes widened. “Shoot Twi, that sounds right nasty,” she exclaimed.
“Oh, no no no no no,” I babbled. “It’s, um, well, just making things a little hazy. Once around Ponyville to jog my memory and I’ll be all better.”
She frowned at me, and I returned as wide a smile as I could muster. After a few moments I seemed to pass muster. It was nice to know that at least Applejack still couldn’t spot a lie if it bit her on the nose.
“Well, okay sugarcube, you need a helping hoof?”
I hurriedly shook my head. “No, no. I’ll be fine. Just, where can I find Rarity?”
Applejack gave me a flat look. “Where ya’ always can. Sugarcube Corner.”
“Right, of course, stupid spell. Well I’ll be off.”
I set off at a gallop, barging my way through the crowd. Something had gone wrong. Something had gone seriously, horribly, world breakingly wrong. Swapping cutie marks was supposed to be impossible! Even Discord had only been able to suppress them, and not only had Applejack failed to notice anything was wrong, she’d thought her cutie mark was normal when it was pointed out.
“Hey Twilight,” Pinkie cut in, effortlessly keeping up with my wild gallop. “Bonus question; pick a colour.”
“Pinki--”
“Pink! Got it!” She zoomed away, and I did a double take. There was no denying it, Rainbow Dash’s cloud and lightning bolt mark was definitely on her flank. She was long gone before I could get a second word in though.
I skidded to a stop in front of Sugarcube Corner. It seemed normal, at least for the moment, I stepped up to knock and--
“Door!” Pinkie exclaimed, pushing me out of the way of the opening door and into a bush.
Huh, so the Pinkie sense was still inexplicably working. Good of know.
“Oh, Twilight?” Rarity exclaimed, spotting me in the bush. Her magic closed the door of the bakery behind her as she hurried over. “Terribly sorry darling, I didn’t see you there.”
I groaned. “Urgh, no problem. Happens all the time.” I took an offered hoof and Rarity lifted me too my hooves. There was no sign of Pinkie Pie anywhere in the street. It was definitely going to be a bad day. “Oh no,” I groaned, as I spotted the party balloons on Rarity’s flank. “You too?”
“Moi? she said, surprised, holding a hoof up to her chest. “Is something the matter?”
“Probably, yes. Rarity, can you tell me what you’re cutie mark means.”
“Oh, surely I’ve told you that boring old story before now?” she replied, with a dismissive wave.
I folded my ears flat. “Humor me. Please.”
“Well dear,” Rarity began, holding a hoof to her chest and posing dramatically. “It means I am the premiere party planner in all of Ponyville, and beyond if I do say so myself. From cute-ceañeras
to soirees, they come from far and wide to seek my advice in the subtle art of the social dance.” She paused, and frowned. “But of course, you already knew that.”
“It’s a less than normal day,” I grumbled. “Have you seen Rainbow Dash? I need to check something right away and--”
“TWILIGHT!” Scootaloo screamed, thundering towards us. The little filly may not have been able to fly, but she had an impressive set of lungs.
“What?” I snapped, rounding on her. “What is it now?”
She slid to a stop in front of us. “Twilight,” she gasped, near hyperventilating in her panic. “You’ve got to come quick, something’s wrong with Rainbow Dash!”
Rarity and I shared a worried look, then set off at a gallop, my magic wrapping around the distraught filly and dragging her along with us.
“Where?” I panted.
“Carousel Boutique.”
I should have guessed, there was only one cutie mark unaccounted for, Rarity's. I could only imagine the trouble Rainbow Dash could get into with a sewing machine, hopefully I could contain things before the entire town was destroyed.
“Hey Twilight,” Pinkie chirped, running backwards alongside us. “Your present’s ready.”
“Pinkie!” I snapped. “There’s a crisis going on!”
“Aw, but it’ll blow away. Just look!” She turned her pleading eyes on me; I resisted for all of three seconds before firing up my magic and teleporting on the spot, bringing me to a stop in the middle of the road.
“Okay, what am I looking ahhh--”
My jaw dropped. There in the sky were seven fluffy, pink, three toed sloths made out of clouds, dancing a waltz. Complete with a gramophone and musical notes.
“Ha... ha... ha...” I babbled, my brain hitting it’s Pinkie limit in record time and checking out for the day. “How?”
“Oh! I haven’t been asked that in ages.” Pinkie reached into her hair and pulled out a well worn letter. “Here you go.”
With some trepidation, I took the letter and began to read.
From the desk of Radiant Skies
Manager of the Greater Canterlot area
Cloudsdale Weather Service
3 Marble Boulevard
Cloudsdale
WE DON’T KNOW
Sincerly,
Radiant Skies
I looked up from the letter, to see Pinkie beaming at me. “You can clear the skies of clouds in ten seconds flat, can’t you?” I asked, my stomach sinking with dread.
“Yepperoni.”
Huh, I’d managed to find a version of Pinkie Pie that was a greater offense to scientific reason than the norm. I wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or terrified... no wait. Terrified. Definitely terrified.
“Come on!” Scootaloo interjected, bouncing up and down next to me. Her wings buzzing in agitation. “We’ve got to help Rainbow Dash.”
“Right, Pinkie, I’ll deal with this later.”
“Okie dokie lokie.” In a flash she was gone, leaving me with Rarity, who was regarding me with confusion.
“...also later,” I snarled at her.
The Carousel Boutique was just a few blocks away and, with all the running practice living in Ponyville has given me, we reached it minutes. A huge crowd of ponies waited there for us, crowding the doors of the shop, demanding to be let in. They hadn’t quite got to the angry mob stage, but they were building up to it, I was sure of it.
“You see! You see!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “It’s terrible.”
Rainbow Dash launched herself out of an upper window. She was dressed immaculately, her rainbow mane was long, down to her fetlocks, brushed to perfection and secured in ribbons of silver and gold. A slim robe bound her waist, trimmed also with silver and gold thread, it simmered in the morning light as the pegasus circled above the awestruck crowds’ heads.
Her poise was Canterlot perfect as settled gracefully onto the the veranda. “Now now, there is no need to be uncouth,” she declared, addressing the crowd in a polished tone. “Form an orderly queue and welcome all to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is sleek, elite and unique!”
“Nooooo!” Scootaloo screamed, clutching her ears.
“Why, whatever is the matter?” Rarity inquired, utterly perplexed.
Scootaloo jabbed a hoof at the elegant pegasus “Rainbow Dash is dressing in style!” she wailed.
I cradled my head in my hooves. “Things are not definitely not going to be fine.”
Author's Note
This story now has a dramatic reading by the wonderful ObabScribbler.
